A LOVE LETTER FROM JENNA ENERGY. LEAN IN, MY FRIEND. Dear friend, As I sat down with a blank document in front me, I suddenly froze. My mind was empty. My body was stiff. And my heart was blocked. This was odd for me because I love writing. I’ve always loved writing. In fact, when I was a small child, publishing a book was at the top of my imaginary bucket list. So, to help myself release the stuck energy, I did a little shake. But as I shook my chest, wiggled my arms, and closed my eyes - I became consumed with questions: What am I going to write? How do I communicate with myself? Why is this so hard? Question after question. Thought after thought. A spiral of obsession over my self-perception as if I have any control over how you might receive these words. And then it hit me. That’s it. This is it. Lean in, Jenna. Honor where you are. I am in a place of stillness, and for some reason - my ego finds nothing special about that. My ego wants to grab onto some concrete belief and try to convince you of it. My ego wants to share my life story and all the lessons I’ve learned. My ego even wants to select something unique about my being and serve it up on a silver platter with simple how-to’s. But this would not serve you. No matter how magical the words or how logical the steps I could provide, the piece would come from a place of utter crap. A space in my being trying to keep me safe and meet the assumed needs of my external world.
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Rather, I am in a state of complete surrender. My life right now is full of experiments, curiosities, and questions. Not periods, absolutes, or death-bed statements. At this moment in time, I am an explorer - not a finish line. And well, that’s something I can share and celebrate with my integrity intact. In fact, that’s something I can scream with love, not lack. I am attached to nothing in this world. Not a single thing feels constant and while saying that might freak you out… feeling it in my body? I’ve never been more free. I am not attached to the way my body looks. I am not attached to the home I live in. I am not attached to the relationships I hold, or the work I do. I am not attached to any piece of my identity or any gift I give the world. Instead, I am in a frequency of love. I love the way my body looks now, and I love the way I’ll be surprised by it tomorrow morning. I love the temporary sanctuary I sit in as I type these words, and I love the unclear image of where I’ll go to sleep at night once our lease ends. I love the people who make up my community, and I love the paths we may or may not embark on together in the future. I love who I am and the way I serve my clients in this season, and I can’t wait to uncover where my passions and purpose take me in one year’s time.
