Tentang Depresi

Saya pernah mengikuti seminar “Caring for the Depressed” oleh dr. Fred Toke. Lagi-lagi saya selalu tertawa terbahak-bahak menyimak materi yang sejatinya cukup berat, tetapi dibawakan dengan gaya stand up comedy.

How you live depends on how you are thinking

Stinking thinking leads to stinking living. Positive thinking leads to positive living.

“Mean” in English has 2 meaning; mean = arti or mean = nasty.

If we lose the meaning of life, we can be mean (to our self, to others). So always try to find—positive—meaning of your experiences in life.

Your imagination triggers your body to respond

Contoh, coba kamu bayangkan jeruk nipis, jadi nelen air liur. Orang yang depresi kehilangan kontak dengan dunia nyata. Kenyataan hidup yang sebenarnya berperang dengan imajinasi pikiran. Kalau kita izinkan pikiran memerintah hidup kita, maka terjadilah. It doesn’t have to be true as long as you believe, it can be true (to you).

We can reprogram our brains with our thoughts!

“Maybe I’m not good in everything but that DOESN’T MEAN I’m a FAILURE!” Sometimes our brain got hang because of virus but we can always FIGHT BACK. Your brain can be rewired so it can be TRANSFORMED.

Ego depletion

Most people depressed because of ego depletion. They live for other people’s applause on them. So, kindly ask yourself, “How much weigh of me that I give to others?”

The way to help depressed people is by giving comfort

Comfort comes from Greece word para-klesis. Para=paralel, klesis = strength. We don’t do it TO them, but we do it WITH them. Because once you MOVE their problem to your shoulder, than they become dependant on you.

The right way talk to the depressed: Validate Empathize Normalize Teach

Most of our mistake is we teach them first. No empathy. Empathize: “I am sorry that you are going through such a tough time. It must be challenging to say the least. I am here for you.”

Magic phrase

To show that you care to the depressed, say, “I am concerned.” Jangan dikuliahin, jangan dinasihati, jangan kasih saran tanpa izin atau kalau dia tidak minta. Just let them know that you’ll be there for them, is enough.

Validate feeling

Kalau orang lagi marah, jangan bilang nggak usah marah, ya malah makin marahlah. The trick is always: validate their feeling. Bilang saja, nggak papa kok marah, itu wajar.

Ada empat jenis kesedihan:

1 Despaired (kehilangan orang/barang yang disayang)

2 Defeated (kalah dari kompetitor)

3 Defensive (berharap dihargai, tapi tidak dihargai)

4 Depleted (merasa hopeless, dan yang ini gawat)

Kalau kita aware dengan kesedihan apa yang sedang dialami maka akan lebih mudah ditangani.

A problem is not the problem!

But the way you praise/look at the problem, is the problem! The way you define the problem IS THE REAL PROBLEM. Setelah tentukan pernyataan pertama misalnya, “Aku ditinggal pasangan” (fakta). Hal terpenting itu justru pernyataan selanjutnya, “karena aku jelek” (negative) atau “karena Tuhan punya rencana yang lebih baik untukku” (positive). When a problem struck you, open your mind to possibilities. There’s always possibility to overcome it, you only have to keep on looking for it.