Session 8
Here and Now
There is no other time than the NOW. We don’t “go” anywhere, though we think we do, no other moment will be more abundant than this moment. Although we may think that a future moment will be more or less pleasant than this moment, we cannot be sure. But whatever the future holds, it is never what you expect or what you think, and when that time comes, it will be NOW. That too will be a moment that passes you by very easily, just as easily as this moment.
From “coming home to yourself” by
Jon Kabat –Zinn
Summer day
Who made the world? Who made the swans and the black bear?
Who made the grasshopper? This grasshopper, I mean,Who jumped up from the grassWhich eats sugar from my hand. Who moves her jaws back and forth instead of up and down Who looks around with her huge facet eyes. Now she lifts her pale forearms and washes her face thoroughly. Now she unfolds her wings and floats away.
I don’t know exactly what a prayer is. I know how you pay attention, how you fall into the grass, how you kneel in the grass. How blissfully to do nothing, how to stroll through the fields
What I have done today. Tell me, what should I have done differently? Doesn’t everything die eventually and too soon? Tell me, what do you plan to do with your one amazing and precious life?
Mary Oliver, House of light
We are not used to being quiet . We often “automatically” turn on the radio, or television without wondering if that’s really what we want. I know people who are afraid of silence. In the silence you meet yourself. By silence, I also mean slowing down, so don’t be busy. Our mind needs silence to recover and process. In our hectic life we go on and on and prefer to do several things at the same time. An average person now receives about as many stimuli in a day as a Neanderthal in two years.
We used to sit by a fire when it got dark. Now we can go on late into the night; We fill all the hours we spend awake with hustle and bustle, with being busy. We have or take very little chance to calm the mind by a fire. But we can develop other habits. Being at this moment, with the breath brings us to that ancient silence.
Thich Nhat Hanh (Buddhist monk) compares meditation to the image of cloudy apple juice settling in a glass. You just sit ... The mind settles on its own.
Be patient until the mud subsides, the water becomes clear. Can you silently delay to the right action arises from itself?
Freedom
In the absence of supervision, thinking determines our entire lives, without us knowing it. When supervised with attentive awareness, we have an opportunity not only to get to know ourselves better and see what concerns our thinking mind, but also to handle our thoughts differently, with more wisdom so that they no longer determine our lives.
Treat yourself kindly
1.See if you can do something pleasant for yourself. Be kind to your body. Take a nice shower or bath, take a nap. Treat yourself to your favorite food or your favorite drink. Go do something fun. Go for a walk, visit a friend make time for your hobby
2. Do something that makes you feel good. Keep it small. If you want to clean up your house, start with one charge. Or pay that bill you left behind. Take small steps in this. This is how you can get out of a feeling of powerlessness. Give yourself a pat on the back if you’ve succeeded.
3. Mindful action.
Whatever you do, mindfulness is always just one breath away. You just need to focus your attention on what you’re doing right now. Cleaning out the dishwasher may not be a fun thing, but if you do, do it consciously. It is precisely these very small changes that can make a big difference in the long run. Just pay attention to how often you say to yourself in your head: first do this and then I can relax (read rest, enjoy) You can relax in any moment by adjusting your posture.
Taking care of yourself
Het kan gebeuren dat je ondanks alle goede voornemens dreigt terug te vallen in oude gewoonten of patronen, depressie, angst, stress, piekeren etc. Op zo’n moment is het allereerst belangrijk om het op te merken. Sta bewust stil bij wat er gebeurt. Ieder heeft zo zijn eigen alarmsignalen. Het kan helpen die voor jezelf op een rijtje te zetten en daar ook enkele acties aan te verbinden.
What’s good for you?
Everything we do throughout the day affects us. Some events have a positive effect because we can relax more or because we have fun. Other events have a negative effect. For example, because they cause tension or because it makes us angry or sad.
You might ask yourself the following questions about the things you do throughout the day.
1. Does it make me feel good?
2. Does it cause me tension/stimuli?
3. Does it give me relaxation / rest?
4. Can I accept that there are certain things in life that I cannot change?
By being more often and better aware of how you are doing, you may be able to maintain a better balance, so that you are less likely to go over your limits and you look for activities in time that give you peace and relaxation.
The five-minute exercise is a way to check how you are doing and to take a short ‘break’ in your daily activities. By means of the five-minute exercise you actually try to get from the ‘do mode’ to the ‘be mode’.
What can you do after the five minutes of exercise?
After the five-minute exercise, there are several options:
1. Returning to the situation
You can choose to continue in the (difficult) situation before the exercise. Because of the breather you have created a moment of peace so that you can handle some new impressions. It is also possible that, because you have taken a break from the situation, you look at the situation with a different, fresher view.
2 Choosing to do something different
If you find out during the five minutes of exercise that you are not doing so well, you can also choose to do something that you feel comfortable with and that gives you peace of mind. Those can be different things. Some people like to sit in front of the computer for a while, for other people making a long walk rest or taking a hot bath. Sometimes it helps to do one of the longer meditations.
Worrying thoughts / negative automatic thoughts
Everyone has a bad experience at some point. These can be very big things, but sometimes also smaller ones, such as a hole in your sock or the peanut butter that has run out. Some people already get into a pattern of negative thoughts with small negative experiences that make it worse and worse. For example, they may think: ‘you see, nothing goes well, I can’t do anything at all’. Such a thought makes you feel more and more annoying and you get more and more negative thoughts. In those moments it is important to recognize that you are in a negative spiral downwards. You can say to yourself, “these thoughts are not the truth,” or, “just because I feel so gloomy right now doesn’t mean it will stay.” What also helps is to do a meditation practice at those times. For example, in a sitting meditation you do not let your thoughts take you away and you learn to accept how you feel at that moment. This ensures that you do not get more and more negative thoughts and that you can take some distance from the situation.
Exercises for next week at session 8
1. Make your own schedule for the coming week regarding the exercises If it helps you, you can schedule them in your calendar and give yourself a reminder. For many people, it is difficult to maintain discipline in the longer term. A fixed time can help make it “a routine activity.”
2. Listen to the songtext of Harrie Jekkers I love me
I love.. you never hear me sing I love me is never said but I love me I’m going to sing anyway because I love me, me alone and I really mean it, hehehehe!
I love me because I can be trusted I love me, I can rely on meI love me, at least I can rely on meI love me and I will never let myself go!
I stay with me, and not for a while I stay with me, forever and ever I am even willing to give my life for myself I stay with me, until death do me part!
I love you sometimes I love you, baby and I really mean it but I love you I just say in front of the mirror so I love you come back to myself, heeey!
I love me, I love me, I love no other, yes yes! Because I am by far, the nicest I know, jeuhI don’t have to change myself from me if necessaryI love myself, just as I am
Because I love you usually means: honey, here you have my problems, solve it, jeuh!
I live in hell and expect from you heaven (yes)You give away hell, thank you say, rot on
Because loving another, you only need that because you can’t love yourself enough Love you boy, make the other superfluous, because true love, believe me, always starts with yourself because
I love you is not the key to the other but I love me, even if it sounds blunt and bad, whoever loves himself, really gives something precious when I say I love you to someone else
Text and music by Harrie Jekkers
We have now reached the end of week 8. You have read the texts, done the assignments, listened to the audio files daily and thought about yourself in this way. Now briefly summarize what you have learned from this session.
1. What do you take away from this session
2. what are you going to do next week
3. What will this bring you?