Compassion is the ability to feel involved in pain and suffering, both our own and that of others. It goes hand in hand with the desire to alleviate this pain and suffering and the willingness to take responsibility for it. It is a common human trait, which is present in everyone, but which has often not blossomed for various reasons. Fortunately, compassion can be developed and deepened through practice, and that is the goal of compassion training. While pity is mostly accompanied by fear and sentimentality, compassion requires courage and generosity. Practicing selfcompassion is not self-centered, but rather ensures a healthy relationship with ourselves and a greater openness and compassion towards others.
Why compassion training?
The training is based on a scientifically based vision on the importance of (self) compassion. Many people are very critical of themselves or have a low opinion of themselves, resulting in self-reproach or shame. You may be gloomy, anxious, angry, or even distrustful of the world and have difficulty experiencing warm feelings for yourself and others. You can flee into isolation or plunge into activities or relationships that are not really fulfilling as a result. Traditional therapy does not always offer a solution. Sometimes it does provide insight but you do not reach sufficient the level of experience (I get it, but I don’t feel it.) It is precisely at that moment that compassion training can be considered, in which exercises are offered to experience more warmth, security, acceptance and connection with ourselves and others.
For whom?
The training, which is also called Mindfulness-Based Compassionate Living (MBCL), is intended for those who (partly) recognize themselves in the above descriptions and have previously participated in the mindfulness course (MBSR/MBCT). The compassion training is a deepening of mindfulness and is suitable for anyone who is motivated to further self-examination and wants to discover for themselves what is helpful and what is not. In particular, this course is intended for people who have found mindfulness practice to be beneficial to them, but who have difficulty integrating it into their lives and developing a gentle, kind attitude additionally.
The training is based on the work of Paul Gilbert (The Compassionate Mind, Constable 2009; www. compassionatemind.co.uk), Christopher Germer (The Mindful Path to SelfCompassion, Guilford 2009; www. mindfulselfcompassion.org) and Kristin Neff (Zelfcompassie, De Bezige Bij 2011; www.self-compassion.org; Dutch website: www.zelfcompassie.com).
Important information before starting
As with the mindfulness course, the main teachers are your own experience and the sharing within the group. Everyone is free in what and how much they share with each other, and does not have to solve the problems for each other. However, you can support each other by practicing mindfulness and compassion in the sharing as well.
To support the practice, it is advisable to carefully work through the texts in this workbook for each session and to do the corresponding exercises.
Study the first session in the week after the first meeting, session 2 after the 2nd meeting, etc. A lot of new material will be covered. If you are becoming overwhelmed, the advice is to practice compassion with yourself here as well. You don’t have to work through and finish everything down to the last detail, but you can focus on the exercises that suit you best at that moment. You will be asked to set aside about an hour a day for the formal exercises mentioned in this course folder, but feel free to choose from those. You may feel space for one exercise and not (yet) for another, and you may want to spend more time on certain exercises than on others.
You can always fall back on mindfulness exercises from the basic course or exercises from previous sessions of this course. That is why we speak about practice suggestions, and not of homework. Above all, choose to carefully tune in to your needs and your stage in your learning process.
In addition to the formal exercises, daily life is of course also an important learning experience. That’s what the informal practice suggestions are for. Hopefully, this workbook will support your learning and help you in practicing and sharing compassion. Good luck!
Karin Lepelaars Rebalance
Session 1
Why do we need compassion?
Pain and suffering are inseparable from human existence. We all get our share, whether we like it or not. Although those shares differ in size and their distribution may seem to be determined more by arbitrariness than by justice, despite the differences, we also have a lot in common. Paul Gilbert describes in his book ‘The Compassionate Mind’ (2009), that we are all in the same boat when it comes to a lot of pain and suffering:
• we have all ended up in this life,
• with a brain, body, emotions and a self which is shaped by social influences,
• we didn’t choose these, but that we have to make do with,
• in a life full of tragedies (threat, loss, illness, old age, death), unpredictable ups and downs and dilemmas.
That may not make us happy, but we won’t escape it by denying it or rebelling against it. That would only add to more pain and suffering. The family, the circumstances and the culture in which we grow up, unpleasant events that happen to us, they are not our choice. We didn’t design our brain and organism ourselves, and much of what goes on inside us is not our own mistake. Because pain and suffering are simply inevitable, we need compassion. Compassion requires attention and kindness, but also courage to face our pain and take responsibility for what we can choose, namely how we deal with it.
Many ancient wisdoms and spiritual traditions have pointed to compassion as a path to happiness. Compassion is certainly not a luxury item that we only need to pay attention to when all basic needs have been met. The Dalai Lama himself calls compassion a basic condition for our survival. Evolutionary experts confirm this and point out that a long history of evolution underlies the ability to show warmth and caring when we are confronted with suffering or vulnerability. This ability is not unique to humans and is shared with many mammal species.
Session 1
THE EVOLUTION OF OUR BRAIN AND OUR CAPACITY FOR COMPASSION
Perhaps it is not so obvious to first delve deeply into the evolutionary history when touching the theme of compassion. Yet, this can lead to a better understanding of the how and why of compassion practice and strengthen our motivation. The well-known biologist and monkey researcher Frans de Waal writes in his book ‘Tijd voor empathie (Time for empathy)’ (2009): ‘Instead of fixating on the peaks of civilization, we should pay more attention to the foot of the mountains’.
The human brain harbors the legacy of millions of years of evolution (Figure 1).
From an evolutionary point of view, our brain has become an extremely sensitive survival organ. It offers many response options to adapt to difficult situations, but it is by no means perfect. It allows us to have healthy develop patterns, but also unhealthy ones. It is clear that it is an enormously complex organ, with intricate mechanisms, which are anchored in different layers of our brain that correspond to different phases of evolutionary history. The older and newer parts can easily conflict with each other. Therefore, our brain can be a ‘tricky’ organ to train, especially since the older parts operate so automatically and instinctively. We distinguish a reptilian brain, the oldest part, which serves the defense of territory, the hunting of prey (survival of the individual) and reproduction (survival of the species); an ancient mammalian brain, which is at the service of living together in groups, rivalry and hierarchy, attachment and nurturing; and a new mammalian brain, the youngest and most flexible part, which offers many more learning and adaptation opportunities in new circumstances, and thus makes increasingly complex forms of society possible. We see that the different layers contribute to different response possibilities and learning processes.
Session 1
1: The Evolved Brain
Neo cortex: language development, imagining, symbolizing, ruminating, organizing, looking forward and looking back, understanding yourself and others
Limbic system: group formation, care, attachment, play, emotion, status, rivalry
Reptilian Brain: territory, aggression, hunting, sex
The reptilian brain
The reptilian brain (or ‘brainstem’) is vital for basic life processes. This is where reactions take place which are mainly innate, instinctive and automatic. It controls all those bodily functions that can take place completely ‘automatic’ –outside of our consciousness – such as heartbeat, circulation, breathing and digestion. New reactions can be learned, but this takes place without the intervention of conscious processes and these are also automatic. It comes naturally. We don’t have to think or feel anything. Think of Pavlov’s famous experiment: his dogs would salivate at the sound of a bell after he had first made that sound a number of times when he offered food at the same time. We call this ‘classical conditioning’.
The ancient mammalian brain
In het oude zoogdierenbrein, ook wel ‘limbisch systeem’ of ‘emotionele hersenen’ genoemd, spelen zich de In the ancient mammalian brain, also called the ‘limbic system’ or ‘emotional brain’, the processes take place that accompany the feeling of emotions. If you are angry, scared, sad or happy, your limbic system is active. Again, these are often innate, instinctive reactions, however there is more room for learning new reactions than within the reptilian brain. In the limbic system, this takes place through reward and punishment, which we call ‘operant conditioning’.
Something is pleasant and so we continue with it, or unpleasant and then we stop doing it. These processes are also largely automatic, there is no need to think about them, they are mainly ‘feeling’, consciously or unconsciously.
Figure
Session 1
The new mammalian brain
The new mammalian brain (or ‘neocortex’) allows us to reflect on what we feel and how we behave. Again, reactions can be automatic, but here exists much more room to learn new responses because we can postpone needs, we can think about them and communicate. We can abandon something we long for and continue something we don’t like. We can involve conscious memories of previous experiences and imagine different scenarios of what might happen in the future. We can reason about it and have conversations, both with others and with ourselves. The fact that the new mammalian brain has grown so enormously in humans has to do with many new achievements, such as extensive language development and the ability to imagine and symbolize, to look forward and look back, to analyze and abstract, to fantasize and ruminate (the ‘rumination’ of our experiences), to organize and integrate, to form an understanding of our ‘self’ and the perception of others. Because we seem to be able to use it for so much, we usually don’t think about the fact that these functions were also created to increase our chances of survival. Our new brain has greatly expanded the possibilities for processing information, communicating, and influencing our environment and has radically changed the face of the world. Thanks to the functions of our new brain, we can better solve many problems. The downside is that we also have a lot of new problems that actually reduce our chances of survival and well-being. Take, for example, the endless rumination and rumination that we can get caught up in, without getting anything good out of it. We can become so preoccupied with it that we neglect to take good care of ourselves and our loved ones. When our new brain functions are powered by old brain drives, the consequences can be huge. Just think of wars, overproduction, depletion of raw materials and the horrific atrocities that people can commit. Even though we might think that our mind is in control of our urges and emotions, the opposite is often the case.
From ‘every man for himself’ to ‘we-need-each other’
The capacity for social attachment and caring attention to each other’s vulnerability is not present in reptiles. They generally have many offspring, of which only a few survive. In the case of reptiles, rapid spread after birth, based on an ‘every-man-for-himself’ principle, increases the chance of survival. Mammals, on the other hand, only receive a small number of offspring at most, which are vulnerable for a relatively long time and need protection. The ability to bond and care for each other is therefore crucial for their survival. In lower mammals, this ability is at the service of their own survival and that of their direct descendants, the group and their own species.
Session 1
In more developed mammals such as great apes, dogs and dolphins, we see that this ability can also target beings other than one’s own species. We also see that the more the young of an animal species need protection and care (the human child takes the cake in this), the brain is less ‘instinctive’ and has more learning opportunities. And this manifests itself, among other things, in a strong growth of the capacity for empathy and compassion, an increased sensitivity to give and receive care and an extensive social behavioural repertoire. So, empathy and compassion are not only reserved for the human species. Though, human beings are remarkable in that they can be almost limitless in their capacity for cruelty and in their capacity for compassion; both of which can extend to all living beings. Often our compassion is limited to those with whom we feel connected, our immediate family, circle of friends or population. For many, it is already difficult to be compassionate to themselves. If compassion is so important to our survival, why do we have such a hard time with it? This seems to be related to getting caught up in the emotions of other survival mechanisms.
THREE EMISSION REGULATION SYSTEMS
We can think of emotions as messengers that serve our survival and indicate whether we are moving in the desired direction (of survival). These messengers make themselves heard in the face of threat and security, in the face of failure and success, in the face of loneliness and connectedness. They are not morally right or wrong. Evolutionarily, they are all useful for survival. However, they can feel pleasant or unpleasant and be judged as positive or negative. But that doesn’t mean that emotions that are judged negatively are also bad and that we would be better off without them. Let us not be like the king who had a messenger from a hostile country killed because he didn’t like the message. (He soon lost his kingdom to the enemy.)
It is useful to distinguish three basic types of emotion regulation (Figure 2):
Danger system: triggered by threat and danger; focused on self-protection. Attention is narrowed with a focus on threat. Emotions are unpleasant: aggression, fear, aversion. Bodily sensations: increased heart rate, shallow rapid breathing, dry mouth, tense muscles. Associated behavior is active or inhibited: fight or flight; or freeze if fight or flight is too risky (fight, flight, freeze).
Hunting system: triggered by desire (hunger for food, sex, possessions, success, status, power), aimed at gratification. Attention is narrowed to focus on reward. Emotions are predominantly pleasurable: desire, excitement, vitality, pleasure (momentarily). Bodily sensations depend on the focus of desire: e.g. salivation, hunger, sexual stimulation, accelerated heart rate and breathing, active muscles, urge to move. Associated behaviour is active, driven and revolves around striving, performing, consuming.
Session 1
Caring and calming system: no special trigger, deriving from ‘not having to do anything’; focused on social connection, safety, well-being. Attention is open, evenly divided between inside and outside, self and other. Emotions are pleasant: warmth, satisfaction, well-being (longer lasting). Associated behaviour is caring and friendly (tend and befriend), calm, peaceful, casual, playful.
STRESS
DANGER SYSTEM
Aggressive, fearful, averse HUNTING SYSTEM
Aimed at self-defense
Fight, flight, freeze
Activating/inhibiting
Driven, excited, energetic
Aimed at reward
Want, strive, perform, consume Activating
Aimed at social connection
Caring and kindness
Calming
CARING SYSTEM
Content, safe, connected
All three emotion regulation systems are anchored in the older parts of our brain and are important for survival. Various nerve networks, neurotransmitters, hormones, and bodily reactions are involved. At any given moment, only one of the three systems has the upper hand. There can’t be two dominant systems at the same time. They alternate depending on the situation. Mammals have a better chance of surviving when all three systems function properly and one can take over from the other as soon as necessary.
Figure 2: The three emotional regulation systems (Gilbert, 2009)
RUST
Session 1
When real danger is present, a well-functioning hazard system can be life-saving. If the situation is sufficiently safe, the danger system will dim and another system can become dominant. When there is a shortage of food or when it is time to mate, the hunting system becomes active. Once these needs have been met (full stomach = own survival; sexual partner for offspring = survival of the species), the hunting system can settle down again. If, in the meantime, there is still no danger present, the care and calming system can take over: deriving from ‘not having to do anything’, being content together, calm, safe and connected. In this phase of rest and relaxation, there is time for recovery and growth, for caring social behavior (monkeys start grooming each other), for play, creativity and new discoveries. When danger threatens from an unexpected source, the danger system is ready again, and when hunger gnaws at them, the hunting system jumps into action again. Information from the environment can very quickly put our old emotional brain in a state of readiness and lead to reactions that are automatic (the short route). Neural pathways pass from the old brain to the new brain, so that we are able to consciously notice our emotions and postpone our tendency to react on autopilot and to exhibit different behaviors (the long route). Our new brain functions are therefore influenced by the old brain, but in turn can also directly affect our emotional brain. In this way, thoughts and representations, independent of the environment, can activate our system of danger, hunt or care. There is a two-way street between the old and new brain. We humans can very easily, thanks to our enormously grown new brain, remain entangled in the danger system or the hunting system for much longer than necessary. That is because our new brain functions enable us to see dangers and shortcomings everywhere.
HOW THE EMOTION REGULATION SYSTEMS CAN BECOME UNBALANCED
The emotion regulation systems respond to information from our body and environment through the senses and transmit information to the new brain. Conversely, they also respond to information from our new brain. Through representation and language, we can reassure ourselves and also panic ourselves. Not only the feeling of pain due to harmful external influences, but also the representation of a threatening event can be a trigger for our danger system. The mere memory of a traumatic event or the thought of repetition can trigger a fear response that penetrates deep into our bodies, even if there is no real danger at the time. The thought of missing something or seeing a possible ‘prey’ can activate the hunting system, even though we have more than enough. Fortunately, by visualizing a safe place or a loving other or through positive wishes, we can also evoke warm feelings and stimulate our caring and calming system. The functions and learning capabilities of our new brain can work both for and against us. They can stimulate our caring and calming system and strengthen our capacity for compassion and loving-kindness, but they can also work against them.
Session 1
If the danger system and hunting system are activated too often and too easily and take over from each other again and again, the caring and calming system does not develop sufficiently.
STRESS
DANGER SYSTEM
Aggressive, fearful, averse
Aimed at self-defense
Fight, flight, freeze
Activating/inhibiting
HUNTING SYSTEM
Driven, excited, energetic
Aimed at reward
Want, strive, perform, consume Activating
Aimed at social connection
Caring and kindness
Calming
CARING SYSTEM
Content, safe, connected
If we have a life background with a lot of threat and traumatization, our danger system is very easily triggered (Figure 3). By remembering or imagining an unsafe situation, the danger system kicks in again and again. It can also be triggered by very neutral events, through associations and connections that our language and imagination are able to make. If the coast seems clear for a while (danger system is extinguished), we would like to satisfy a number of needs quickly (before the next threat strikes) and immediately our hunting system becomes active. If we have a life background with a lot of competition and frustration from our needs for recognition and success, then any feeling or idea of inadequacy can easily trigger the hunting system (Figure 4). Once we have reached a moment of satisfaction (hunting system off), the fear that we will not be able to hold it (danger system on) can quickly arise and we will not even be able to enjoy it.
Figure 3: Background of life with a lot of threat (Gilbert, 2009)
Session 1
Before we know it, we’re already feeling frustrated and chasing the next moment of satisfaction. In our society, consumption, competition and performance are greatly stimulated. A large part of the economy runs on it. As a result, our hunting system is frequently addressed. But also our danger system, because falling short is quickly experienced as failing. We feel ashamed and afraid of not fitting in, when our cell phone, laptop or TV is too old, our clothes are out of fashion, our partner is too boring or our performance is below par. We have to own more and more and have more and more success. It is not surprising that we have little time for our caring and calming system and suffer from burnout, depression, anxiety or addictions. Even in our ‘free’ time, we are often more concerned with keeping our danger system and our hunting system in shape than our caring and calming system. If we are in the danger and/or hunting system much more often than in our care system, we experience too much stress and we do not achieve enough rest, which is harmful to our health in the long run.
STRESS
DANGER SYSTEM
Aggressive, fearful, averse
Aimed at self-defense
Fight, flight, freeze Activating/inhibiting
HUNTING SYSTEM Driven, excited, energetic
Aimed at reward
Want, strive, perform, consume Activating
Aimed at social connection
Caring and kindness
Calming
CARING SYSTEM
Content, safe, connected
Figure 4: Background of life with a lot of competition (Gilbert, 2009
Sessie
1
Insufficient development of the care system also occurs when people have been emotionally neglected in their childhood. Those who have received little warmth and love usually find it difficult to give loving care to themselves and others. An extreme example is that of the Romanian orphans who were severely neglected during the Ceausesku dictatorship. Later on, they turned out to be barely capable of social contact. Also, people may have learned to mistrust a safe situation due to frequent unpredictable behaviour or being abandoned by their parents or caregivers. Warm feelings and attachment to others can then even be experienced as threatening. The caring and calming system has become a trigger for the danger system. The attachment theory makes it clear that a safe attachment between baby and mother is an important condition for healthy development. Research has shown that the attachment style of one-year-olds are a good predictor of the degree of happiness, wellbeing, and stability in relationships in adulthood. Unsafe attachment in the first stage of life is characterized by fear of or avoidance of emotional attachment and is a predictor of more psychological and relational problems later in life. Safe attachment goes hand in hand with a well-developed caring and calming system.
In the case of unsafe attachment, this system is weaker developed, but fortunately training can make up for a lot of it later in life.
Compassion is intimately connected to the care and calming system, and the practice of compassion can again set in motion a stagnant development in this system. It is not a question of silencing our danger or hunting system. That would be at the expense of our chances of survival. What matters is that we restore the balance when there is an overstimulated danger and/or hunting system and an under stimulated caring and calming system. Then we can face the pain that is inherently there, and the inevitable suffering that comes with it, with mild, open attention and provide the right care.
The fact is that it is only through practice a system becomes more powerful and more easily active, and the opposite is the case in the absence of it: when you don’t use it, you lose it. And: neurons that fire together, wire together. Neurons (nerve cells) connect to each other through growing branches and form stronger circuits in our brain the more often they are stimulated. Neuroscientists confirm that parts of our brain are very sensitive to giving and receiving care and kindness, provided they are sufficiently stimulated over the course of life.
Sessie 1
It has been found that specific areas of the brain are active in the practice of compassion and that the degree of this activity relates to the degree of practice. There is also a connection between our emotional brain and the functioning of our heart. The variation in the rhythm of our heartbeat shows more coherence when we breathe calmly and imagine situations that evoke warm feelings. Objectively measurable physiological phenomena and subjective experience go hand in hand here. Compassion is called a ‘heart quality’ for a reason and is most strongly experienced in the region of our heart.
Fortunately, we have a changeable and plastic brain and organism and it is never too late to start practicing. With regular attention training, we have already laid a good foundation.
Practice suggestions
FORMAL EXERCISES
1. Listen once each day to the exercise: Connecting with something pleasant and the self-compassion exercise. If practicing with guidance is no longer helpful for you after a few days, you can do the exercise daily without guidance. You don’t have to expect anything from the practice, just let your experience be your experience, without you having to judge it. Mention each time you do the exercise (with or without supervision) on the exercise sheet. Also, write down any specifics so you can talk about them at the next session. Note: Choose a time when you feel open to practicing.
2. Work on “The Three Circles” exercise.
THE THREE CIRCLES
Which emotion regulation systems have had more and less ‘practice’ in your life? Draw the three circles of the danger, hunt, and care system on a sheet of paper as they relate to each other in size. Reflect carefully on the following questions and write about them for yourself. You can also put keywords in the circles. Take the time to reflect on what comes up with each system. Look at it with mild, open attention, even though it may be painful. Don’t force anything, respect your boundaries. You can stop the practice out of kindness to yourself at any time and resume it at another time.
− What experiences, events, people may have played a key role in the functioning of your danger system, hunting system or care system?
− What was your biggest fear/threat? Your most coveted outcome? Your deepest need/desire?
− What strategies for protecting yourself and surviving psychologically have you mainly developed? Which ones to the outside world? (e.g. social avoidance; dependence on others) Which ones to go inwards? (e.g. avoidance of certain emotions; beliefs about yourself; high demands of yourself)
− What are the unintended and undesirable consequences of these strategies?
− What do you need most and would you like to wish for yourself?
You can conclude the exercise with loving kindness towards yourself and wish for yourself what came up in the last question: for example, ‘May I’ (on inhalation) ‘... (be safe, strong, calm, happy, content)’ (on exhalation).
3. Connect with the safe place on a daily basis. (you can do this exercise with or without the guidance).
Practice suggestions
EXERCISE: THE SAFE PLACE
In this exercise, we imagine a safe place that brings feelings of calm, contentment, and security. When you are tense or depressed, it can be difficult to evoke such feelings. That’s okay. What is asked is just to imagine the place and practice it.
4. Follow an exercise of your choice, supported by compassion towards yourself from the mindfulness course (the body scan, yoga, sitting in attention); with or without the use of the guidance.
INFORMAL PRACTICE:
1. Practice the breathing space compassion daily, at a time of your choosing. ( is recorded)
2. Be aware of giving or receiving compassion on a daily basis as it occurs. At a later time, fill out the “Giving or Receiving Compassion” journal once a day. Use this as an opportunity to become aware of physical sensations, thoughts, and feelings related to that one event. Write down the exact nature and location of the physical sensations as soon as possible and preferably in detail (use the words and/or images that came up as much as possible). Note: This exercise loses value as the distance between the event and the completion of the sheet increases.
3. If necessary, make a personal diary. It is meant as support, as something to hold on to. It can be a book or notebook in which you can write or draw what is on your mind, what you learn, how you change, where you can tell your story when the journey is tough and in which you can record important new discoveries.
4. You can pay attention to the following exercises at any time during the course. In any case, read the descriptions and see when you want to do the exercise:
Practice suggestions
COMPASSION IN SOUNDS, COLORS AND SMELLS
Music can be a powerful medium to allow repressed emotions to flow freely and also to bring you into an atmosphere of calm, peace, and security. Research has shown that the cadence in the music affects the breathing rhythm, which in turn affects the variability of the heart rhythm. A calm breathing rhythm with a frequency of about 6 inhalations and exhalations per minute appears to be beneficial for heart rate variability. The heart rhythm then synchronizes with 6x an acceleration and lengthening per minute. It turns out that many slow movements in baroque music support this rhythm with the same cadence of 6 per minute. Singing chants can also have such an influence on breathing and heart rhythm. And of course many other types of music as well.
You are invited to experience what it is like to get into a calm breathing rhythm, supported by music that touches the compassion chord with you. If you listen to music, sing or play an instrument, find out which music supports your caring and calming system. Which music is the music of kindness and compassion to you?
Some are more into rhythm and sound, others are more into color. Allow yourself to get into a calm breathing rhythm and, when you are ready, to imagine a color that connects you with compassion, a color that carries warmth and kindness for you. Even if you are only aware of a fleeting sensation of color, that is okay. When you’re ready, imagine the color gradually expanding and completely surrounding you. Then, allow the color to fill your heart and from there, gradually, your entire body. With each breath, allow the color from your heart to expand through your body and as this happens, allow yourself to feel how the color wants to help you and give you wisdom, strength, and love. Feel these qualities flow through your body and let your facial expression radiate kindness. You can successively experiment with different colors that connect you to different qualities of compassion (e.g., warmth, gentleness, courage).
You could do the above exercise in a similar way with scents, imagining or actually exploring them with flowers, incense, olfactory oil, candles, or other scented objects.
Practice suggestions
ATTRIBUTES
During this course, you will also be invited to pay attention to: the attributes of compassion. Without frantically looking for it, let yourself be addressed and surprised by objects, shapes, smells and colors (in your home, outside, in nature), which evoke feelings of compassion in you. Perhaps there are smaller objects, figurines, pictures, cards, sayings, texts, and the like, that you want to keep close by (for example, in the place where you do your exercises or where you often sit) so that you can always look at them and remind you of the value of mindfulness and compassion in this moment. Maybe there’s something you like to take with you wherever you go.
Practice suggestions
PRACTICE SHEET – AFTER SESSION 1
Write down each time you practice on the practice sheet and make notes of anything that comes up during practice at home, so we can talk about it next time.
Day/date
_____day
Date:
_____day
Practiced:
Formal:. . minutes. Informal:. . minutes.
Formal:__min
Informal:_min.
Date: Formal:__min
Informal:__min
_____day Date: Formal:__min
Informal:__min
_____day Date: Formal:__min
Informal:__min
_____day Date: Formal:__min
Informal:__min
_____day Date: Formal:__min
Informal:__min
_____day Date: Formal:__min
Informal:__min
Comments:
- What exercises did you do?
- What were the special features of the practice?
_____day
Date: Formal:__min
Informal:__min
Additional details Week 1
Journal giving and receiving compassion
Journaling Giving or Receiving Compassion: What was the event?
Example Receiving:
I was walking in the supermarket and looking for a certain product. The shop assistant asked me what I was looking for and guided me to the desired product.
Example Giving: a friend came to visit and started talking about problems at her work. I was able to listen patiently and give her some advice.
Day 1
Were you aware of the giving or receiving compassion while this was taking place?
How did your body feel during this experience?
Comfortably warm
With what moods and thoughts was this event accompanied?
I felt shy and grateful.
I thought, ‘Thankfully I’m not going to be late to my appointment now’. ‘How nice that he wants to help me.’
What’s going on in your mind right now, when you are writing it down?
I feel warm and happy again when thinking back at it now.
Soft, relaxed
I felt at peace and thought, ‘What a shame for her, I hope she can find a solution.’
I feel connected to her. Good that I could help by listening and that she felt understood.
Practice suggestions
It’s like reaching a place. Look around you and know that you’re at home.
as if you already know before you saw it. There had been before you would get there. Right at home
Kees Spiering
Under the trees
They are friends, trees who have conversations with you Let your mind wander as their leaves let the light fluctuate. It’s your friends, trees They lay their shadow like an arm around you If you want to be alone and don’t want to be alone
‘He who loves himself has no rival’ Benjamin Franklin
