InfluencHER Summer '23 Issue The Re-Launch

WRITTEN WORDS THAT HEAL

Meet CEO OF BE HER SUPPORT

BY LAWANDA TILLETT

BECOMINGHer COLLECTIVE MEET INFLUENCHER CEO'S THAT FOLLOW PURPOSE, INSPIRE OTHER WOMEN AND SHIFT THEIR INDUSTRIES

with THE SOPHISTICADED LADY

THE KEYS TO UNLOCK WITH TRANSFORMATION

Caige Phoenix

“CHANGE IS INEVITABLE, TRANSFORMATION IS A CHOICE” CAIGE PHOENIX

SUMMER 2023

INFLUENCHER

CONTENTS 74 COVHER GIRL PRECIOUS MONET

6 THE KEYS TO UNLOCK TRANSFORMATION

21 INFLUENCHER OF THE MONTH: MAXINE JOHNSON

4 Editor's Note 27 Healthy Habits: Daily Dose of Nutrition 32 WELLNESS: Healthy Habits for Women 40 +

by Caige Phoenix 38 WORDS THAT HEAL

by DeeDee Moore 43 LIFESTYLE: Travel to Enhance Your Transformation Journey

by Caige Phoenix 49 NEW SPACE: Making Space for You

by Natasha White 54 DATING: Black Love Wins

by Dr. Kimberly King 63 BEAUTYFEATURE: Janel Nichole 70 FASHION FEATURE: Janyelle Milton

40 LIFE BY DESIGN

82 FINANCE: Money Trap by K imberly Hurdle

Transform your life in 30 days, create an enjoyable, sustainable lifestyle!

INFLUENCHER MAGAZINE

WELCOME to Transformation

Life is a journey of constant transformation. From the moment we take our first breath, we embark on a path of growth, learning, and change. Transformation is an inherent part of being human, and it is through embracing these transformations that we truly thrive and evolve.

Transformation can take many forms. It can be a change in our personal lives, such as moving to a new city, starting a new job, or entering into a committed relationship. It can also manifest on a larger scale, such as societal shifts, technological advancements, or global challenges that force us to adapt and innovate.

At its core, transformation is about letting go of the old and embracing the new. It requires us to step outside of our comfort zones and confront the unknown. While this can be daunting, it is often through these experiences that we discover our true potential and uncover hidden strengths.

Transformation is not a linear process. It is a journey filled with twists and turns, setbacks and breakthroughs. It requires resilience, patience, and a belief in our own ability to adapt. It is important to remember that transformation is not about perfection or reaching some predetermined destination. Instead, it is about embracing the process and finding joy in the continuous evolution of our lives.

So, welcome to transformation. Embrace the changes that come your way, both big and small. Embrace the opportunities for growth and self-discovery. Remember that transformation is not an endpoint but a lifelong journey. As you navigate the twists and turns, remember to stay open-minded, resilient, and curious. Embrace the unknown, for it is in the realm of the unknown that true transformation occurs.

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EDITOR' S "Empowerment is not about giving people power. It's about reminding them that they already have it." - Unknown

Welcome to 2023 part 2! The last few years have been quite an experience; would you agree? From Covid, the pandemic, cultural events, overwhelming deaths, racial tension, economic strain, and way too many things to even begin to list. I feel like as we went into the new year, there was an expectation that many had that this would be the year that would be just a little bit lighter. The year that brings a little more joy, the year that gives us more to celebrate than things we grieve.

As I engaged with different women over the last year, one thing kept coming up, CHANGE! Everyone was ready for change, including myself. My motto when it comes to seeking transition in life is “change is inevitable, transformation is a choice.” I know I don’t just want things to change or be different, I want to live a transformed life. I want to evolve in such a way, going back to the way I was, who I used to be and how I previously lived, is basically impossible.

CAI GE

PHOENI X

Last year in my private online group “The UnCaiged Life” we talked about transformation and what was necessary to achieve it. Mindset, new habits, environment shift, consistency, and discipline...just to name a few. These types of things do not just bring about change but help you develop a new lifestyle, which in turn, creates transformation. You don’t just want things to be different, you want to create a new lifestyle so that the changes actually STICK! It becomes permanent, it is a new way of living.

We are continuing our pursuit of our transformation journeys as we are moving further into the second half of 2023. Not just seeing change but pursuing transformation. We are transforming our mindset, health, lifestyle and ultimately our entire lives.

This issue is dedicated to creating and living a transformed life. With intentional focus, discipline and execution, the rest of 2023 can be the year your life makes a complete 360! Transform your mind, transform your lifestyle, transform your life!

NOTE

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Heal to

August, 2023

One of the things I often talk about in my private online community “The UnCaiged Life”, is the power of healing in order to activate your transformation journey.

Healing and transformation are closely related concepts that involve personal growth and change. Healing refers to the process of overcoming negative experiences or emotions from the past, such as trauma or grief, and restoring one's well-being and inner peace.

Transformation, on the other hand, refers to a profound change in one's life, such as a shift in perspective, beliefs, or values.

Both healing and transformation require effort and intentional action, and can involve selfreflection, therapy, personal development, and spiritual practices. Ultimately, the goal of both healing and transformation is to live a happier, more fulfilling life, free from the constraints of past experiences or negative patterns of thinking.

INFLUENCHER MAGAZINE

Written by Caige Phoenix

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The Past Holds Your Future Hostage Choosing healing refers to the process of making a deliberate and intentional effort to overcome negative experiences, emotions, or traumas from the past and move forward in a positive and healthy manner. This can involve seeking professional help, participating in therapy, engaging in self-care practices, and focusing on personal growth and selfimprovement. The goal of choosing healing is to promote well-being and happiness, and to live a fulfilling and meaningful life.

Transforming one's life can be a complex and personal process that involves making positive changes in various areas of one's life such as relationships, career, personal growth, and health.

Here are some steps to help you get started:

SUMMER

'23 ....issue

Written by Caige Phoenix INFLUENCHER MAGAZINE

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Heal to Transform cont'd

Identify your values and goals: Knowing what is important to you and what you want to achieve can help you focus your efforts on the areas of your life that matter the most.

Create a plan: Make a plan of action to achieve your goals. This can include breaking down your goals into smaller, achievable steps.

Take action: Start taking small, manageable steps towards your goals. The key is to be consistent and persistent.

Surround yourself with supportive people: Building a strong support system of family, friends, and mentors can provide you with encouragement and motivation.

"Healing does not mean the damage never existed. It means the damage no longer controls our lives." Unknown

Be kind to yourself: Be gentle and patient with yourself during the process of change. Change is a journey, not a destination, and it's okay to make mistakes along the way.

Healing is important for growth because it allows individuals to address past traumas, negative experiences, or emotional wounds that may be holding them back in life.

Healing helps to release negative emotions, thoughts, and patterns, and to create space for growth and personal development. It also helps to improve mental and emotional well-being, which is a key factor in leading a fulfilling and meaningful life.

Written by Caige Phoenix

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Heal to Transform cont'd

When individuals heal from past experiences, they are better able to approach the present and future with a positive and healthy outlook, free from the constraints of their past. This allows them to focus on personal growth, pursue their goals and aspirations, and live a life that is true to their values and beliefs. In short, healing is a vital step in the process of personal growth and transformation.

Remember, transforming your life is a personal and ongoing process that takes time and effort. Stay focused, be persistent, and never give up on yourself

Join our online community on Facebook, “The UnCaiged Life” a healing and transformation community that promotes healing your trauma wounds, learning new healthy mindsets and behaviors in order to move forward and create the life you desire and deserve.

Facebook: The UnCaiged Life - you must answer the membership questions.

We will see you on the other side of fear!

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SUMMER EDITION

THE JOURNEY OF SELF-DISCOVERY AND GROWTH

"As individuals evolve and their life circumstances change, new opportunities for self-discovery and growth emerge."

When we think of transformation, if we’re not accustomed to thinking about evolving as a person, it can sound a bit like “Lost In Space”. However, transformation is as natural a part of life, just as birthdays are. In the Bible, the Apostle Paul compared himself to a runner, because life is like a marathon. The race starts with training. Athletes train, they follow strict discipline, they invest in their growth as a runner. They cannot win the race unless they improve. So, it is with life. Life should be a constant progression of growth.

WRITTEN BY: SHELLY TUTT

However, if we become stagnant, which most of us do at one time or another, we then need transformation. When we think of transformation, if we’re not accustomed to thinking about evolving as a person, it can sound a bit like “Lost In Space”. However, transformation is as natural a part of life, just as birthdays are.

In the Bible, the Apostle Paul compared himself to a runner, because life is like a marathon.

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THE JOURNEY OF SELF-DISCOVERY AND GROWTH cont'd

The race starts with training. Athletes train, they follow strict discipline, they invest in their growth as a runner. They cannot win the race unless they improve. So, it is with life. Life should be a constant progression of growth.

However, if we become stagnant, which most of us do at one time or another, we then need transformation.

Transformation is a journey of selfdiscovery and growth. Self-discovery can be scary if we haven’t been honest with ourselves or others about our feelings. When we don’t operate from a place of authenticity, the result can be mental and emotional burnout.

When we approach transformation, it involves our mind and our lifestyle.

They need to be in alignment with each other. Our lifestyle is our brand, and it must be authentic for people to view us as credible. Who we are in private is who we should be in public and vice versa. Not only is it hard to keep up a front, but it’s also stressful.

We can’t have any true peace if we’re not living authentically. That’s why at some point, transformation must come.

Why is it that we stay stuck in our struggles so long? There are many reasons, but I’ll name a few. Negative self-talk, comparison to others, perfectionism, fear of failure, difficulty setting boundaries for ourselves and others, guilt and shame, imposter syndrome, difficulty forgiving, difficulty letting go of past experiences and the fear of missing out, just to name a few.

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21 - Day Journal

TransformHER Wellness is here to teach you how to create a sustainable lifestyle through mental and physical fitness, while providing information, tools and support in the process!

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THE JOURNEY OF SELF-DISCOVERY AND GROWTH cont'd

"Self-compassion and self-acceptance are essential elements of the journey."

I believe the inability to see the possibilities in our future allows us to stay stuck in the wilderness much longer than necessary. We must cultivate pathways to transformation.

Anything is possible if you can believe it’s possible. However, we must also do the work.

Neither one works without the other. GOD says He’ll prosper what we put our hand to. That means we’ve got some work to do. Some things we can do on our journey to transformation are as follows.

This is not a comprehensive list because there’s not enough space to list them here. However, they will give us a running start in our race for transformation.

We must start by becoming aware of our thoughts and feelings. We need to practice self-reflection and introspection, paying attention to what goes through our mind, especially when we face challenges or obstacles. Where did that feeling come from?

We must set goals for personal growth and keep a journal to track our progress.

Writing down our thoughts and feelings will help us reflect and keep track of our progress over time.

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THE JOURNEY OF SELF-DISCOVERY AND GROWTH cont'd

We must set goals for personal growth and keep a journal to track our progress.

Writing down our thoughts and feelings will help us reflect and keep track of our progress over time. Cultivating a positive mindset and attitude and refusing to make negative statements concerning ourselves will keep conversations positive.

We must define our values and beliefs and make sure our life is in alignment with them.

People pick up on inauthentic lifestyles and language. It’s a detractor.

Cultivating self-discipline and hold ourselves accountable for our actions.

Practice gratitude for the good things in your life.

Develop the habit of cultivating a growth mindset and embracing change as an opportunity for growth.

Practice self-compassion and let go of perfectionism.

Seek help and support when needed to work through past traumas and emotional baggage.

As you embark on your journey, remember to be kind to yourself and show yourself some grace. Congratulate yourself for taking the steps to make a positive change, as you take charge of the path ahead. The race is not won by the person who runs the fastest, but by the one to stays on the journey until the end. So, hang in there. I have confidence in you and believe you will cross the finish line.

Shelly Tutt P 15

5 Ways to Help Prioritize Devotion Devotion holds significant importance in various aspects of life, including spirituality, personal growth, and relationships. Here are some key reasons why devotion is important and 5 ways to make devotion time a priority: Deepening Spiritual Connection Fostering Inner Growth Cultivating Mindfulness and Presence Establish a Regular Practice: Set aside a specific time each day for your devotion and make it a priority in your schedule.

Whether it's meditation, prayer, reading spiritual texts, or engaging in rituals, having a consistent practice helps you prioritize devotion in your life.

Create a Sacred Space: Dedicate a physical space in your home or wherever you feel comfortable for your devotional activities. This space can be adorned with symbols, images, or objects that hold spiritual significance to you. By designating a sacred space, you create a visual reminder to prioritize and honor your devotion.

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SET INTENTIONS: Before you begin your devotional practice, take a few moments to set clear intentions for your session. Reflect on what you hope to gain from this time of devotion, whether it's cultivating inner peace, seeking guidance, or deepening your connection with the divine. By consciously setting your intentions, you align your focus and prioritize the purpose of your devotional practice.

PRACTICE MINDFULNESS: Cultivate mindfulness throughout your day to infuse your activities with a sense of devotion. Bring your awareness to the present moment, no matter what you're doing. Engage fully in each task, whether it's eating, walking, or interacting with others. By practicing mindfulness, you infuse devotion into every aspect of your life, not just during designated devotional times.

SEEK COMMUNITY AND SUPPORT: Surround yourself with like-minded individuals who share your devotion.

Join spiritual or religious communities, attend gatherings, or participate in group practices.

Engaging with others who prioritize devotion can inspire and motivate you in your own journey. Sharing experiences, insights, and challenges with a supportive community can deepen your devotion and help you stay committed to your practice.

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strength journey

in the

Battles don't come to weaken us.

Battles come to strengthen what is weak in us.

We may lose some. We will win most.

Endurance creates stability, trust, and victory.

Through it all, we learn that everything is everything.

We learn that life is not meant to please us.

The journey, our journey is teaching us who to teach.

Showing us how to show. Loving us how to love.

Nothing is in vain. Every part of the path serves purpose.

Elevation is inevitable.

Written By:

Deedra ‘Dojay’ Moore

Progress has to be priority.

Not movement. Progress.

Nothing was meant forever.

People will come and go.

Love will blossom as tulips in Spring.

Relationships find solidarity.

Everything is everything.

Understanding is not knowing everything.

Understanding is understanding your mission.

Understanding is trusting Jah. Eventually needing nothing but the Word.

Believing that our strength comes from above.

Believing in the wellbeing of the journey.

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"YOU WILL SEEK ME AND FIND ME WHEN YOU SEEK ME WITH ALL YOUR HEART." JEREMIAH 29:13

SALVA ION Dear God,

I come to You in the Name of Jesus. I admit that I am not right with You, and I want to be right with You. I ask You to forgive me of all my sins. The Bible says if I confess with my mouth that “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in my heart that God raised Him from the dead, I will be saved (Rom. 10:9). I believe with my heart, and I confess with my mouth that Jesus is the Lord and Savior of my life. Thank You for saving me!

In Jesus’ Name I pray. Amen.

CONFESS Acknowledge Jesus Christ as the Son of God.

BELIEVE Believe in His sacrifice for the forgiveness of sins.

SURRENDER Surrender your life to Him as the ultimate authority and guide.

We never want to bypass the opportunity to know Jesus!

ROMANS 6:23

"For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord."

If you prayed this prayer for the first time, we would like to know. Send us an e-mail or share your testimony.

CONTACT US

influencHERinfo@gmail.com P 20

INFLUENCHER OF THE MONTH

MAXINE JOHNSON

By LaWanda Tillett

IN THE SPOTLIGHT

How fitting that this issue of InfluencHER Lifestyle Magazine arrives as we celebrate Women’s History Month. We honor women both past and present that have helped blazed a trail for us to pass through and expand upon.

Our InfluencHER of the Month, Maxine Johnson, is continuing that legacy. Creator of ‘The 5 Critical Components for Creating Global Communities of Change, author of “Helping a Sister,” TEDx Speaker, and CEO and founder of The Wife Boss Academy.

Maxine Johnson wears many hats. With over 20 years of experience in Human Resources and over 9 years in ministry, she has reached thousands of women and stewarded her influence to positively impact women everywhere. Here is a little of what she shared during our time together.

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24

Tell us about your TEDx experience...

I landed the TEDx in the Fall of 2021 in California by way of a reference.

That’s why I believe relationships are so important. Immediately, I invested in a coach in preparation for the talk.

Honestly, I wasn’t sure what I wanted to speak about for the TEDx. The thing about TEDx is that it’s not about you promoting you. It’s about promoting a thought or idea that someone can walk away from feeling they have something practical that they can apply to their life.

My coach suggested that we start with what was going on with me at that time in my life to start narrowing down ideas. I had suffered such much loss just to the TEDx. My grandmother, my mother died, and then my brother died about a month prior to me getting with my coach to prepare. I began to talk to my coach, Darryl, about how much we give and how much we do. There are times when as an influencer, we need help too. There, I offered practical tools that everyone can utilize, because everyone is a hero.

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WHAT IS THE WIFE BOSS ACADEMY? First, let me start by saying that I believe you should invest in yourself. That being said, I had another coach at the time that I was working with to help move past the “church walls” if you will to do more speaking in the market place. While we were working on that element, she asked if I had ever thought about coaching. As an HR Leader, it was what I was already doing.

She suggested that I make it my own. So began to think about the coach I wanted to be. A lot of the time, the coach that you are is who you are. For me, it was I’m a wife and a leader and there are times when it’s hard to balance the two.

As I began to speak at different engagements, I started to have women who wanted to become part of the academy to be coached by be. However, not all of them were wives. I decided to make WIFE an acronym, Women Influenced Focused and Empowered to lead. Whether you’re running a business or a single mom running your household, you’re a BOSS! This 12week program is now going on year 3.

! s s o B e Wif

W I F E

Women Influenced Focused and Empowered to lead.

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What does influence mean to you?

That’s a great question! It is when you are able to guide or direct someone to make a change in their life, whatever that is. How we do it can be different ways. For me in how I steward my influence, it’s not about forcing, but meeting people where they are.

One example comes to mind which is more so around ministry directly being a pastor. A young woman was dealing with addiction and struggling with her sexual identity. She would come to church drunk, but I would tell them to leave her alone. The important part is that she’s here. I remember getting a call from her and she said that she was in rehab. I began to visit with her.

Never asking her anything specific, but just chill and share common experiences. My brother was drug addict and struggled with addiction. So, we talked about that and the demons and certain fights that came with that. We simply just talked. Fast forward to today, she is now 5 years sober and now has a new home.

There is a cost to ascension. The more people know you, the more people know about you. There are more trials and people are going to defame your name. What I believe is that once I accepted that it was part of the ride… I told my son that when most planes go up, ascend, they experience turbulence.

That’s how I look at it.

"Heroes need help too!" Maxine Johnson P 24

What’s a final thought you would like to share?

I would say, particularly in the climate we live in today and from an HR perspective, you’re always interviewing. You never know who you’re going to connect with. You never who you’re going to encourage, inspire or who may inspire you.

Remember, you’re the brand and be who you are!

There are so many layers to Maxine L. Johnson. You can catch the full interview on our YouTube channel, InfluencHER Lifestyle Magazine Network.

To keep up with Maxine, you can follow her on all social media platforms at Maxine L. Johnson.

You can follow us at InfluencHER Lifestyle Magazine to be in the know for upcoming events and new features. As always, remember to InfluencHER wherever you go!

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INFLUENCHER HEALTH & WELLNESS

HEALTHY HABITS

Never Tasted So Good!

Many of you have seen our Founder and Editor in Chief, Caige Phoenix as she has leaned into her own health and transformation journey. She has become passionate about helping other women create sustainable lifestyles through mental and physical fitness, in order to not only reach their health goals but to sustain them long term. Catch this interview with Kelly Fontes, owner of Daily Dose of Nutrition. Caige's new favorite bartender!

Introduce us to Coach Kelly & Daily Dose of Nutrition! Take a moment to introduce yourself and your brand to our InfluencHERs & give them a peek into your world!

My name is Kelly and I'm 30 years young. I'm a wife to an amazing husband. I'm a leader, founder of Daily Dose Nutrition which was founded in 2022. I have been in the health & fitness business for the last five amazing years. I started the business and the Herbalife products at the same time. I made a decision to lose weight because I was in desperate need to lose the weight because my doctors mentioned to me I was 5'2 and moderately obese and going on a path of having diabetes & high cholesterol.

I used to have lots of stomach pain due to my health issues which I found out and I had to get rid of my gallbladder because the stones were too big and needed to be surgically removed.

EIC Caige Phoenix

I used to have lots of stomach pain due to my health issues which I found out and I had to get rid of my gallbladder because the stones were too big and needed to be surgically removed. Once I fixed my health, I got so much life back into me. I got the energy & love of life by living differently.

About a year ago I moved to Atlanta, GA to open up a healthy cafe shop in Kennesaw, GA to help improve the community of people who were in need of a healthier lifestyle. I knew I had a passion for helping others as well as serving the community with great energy, amazing customer service and great energizing tea, protein smoothies etc.

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"The groundwork for all happiness is good health." Leigh Hunt

Health & Community What inspired you to become a health and fitness coach? How did that inspire the birth of your brand?

I was 23 years old at 245 lb. depressed and didn't like the image when I looked at myself in the mirror. I was always searching for a quick fix and I remember one day I went to a dressing room and I was wearing size 18 pants and took one photo of myself that changed everything. I knew I didn't want to stay the same woman as always. I made a decision to change my outlook and perspective on how I viewed myself.

When I made this decision I was given the opportunity to become a health coach. I was motivating other people while also working on my fitness goals.

My passion became very well known so that I could inspire other people to start their own journey by sharing tips of meal plan, workout routines etc. While I was inspiring other women on my fitness journey the business opportunity presented itself. I took a leap of faith and ran into learning how to help others while also making extra income.

My passion became very well known so that I could inspire other people to start their own journey by sharing tips of meal plan, workout routines etc.

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Fuel Your Day My brand Daily Dose was brought into light because of the passion of helping others. I wanted to have a storefront full of energy and great vibration to the community. My purpose is to help inspire other people into becoming the best version of themselves while also making extra income & working on their fitness goals.

My brand Daily Dose was brought into light because of the passion of helping others. I wanted to have a storefront full of energy and great vibration to the community. My purpose is to help inspire other people into becoming the best version of themselves while also making extra income & working on their fitness goals.

Share with us some of your journey; what are some of the most challenging things you have had to overcome?

My biggest challenges have become my number one learning lessons. I learned how to become a leader for an organization of people by leading the way, also by dealing with different personalities. I have learned to not let the negative things around me not distract or take my focus away. I've learned to have a no problem mindset that nothing bothers you.

What was the biggest milestone along your health & fitness journey thus far?

My biggest milestone has been the belief that I have the power to change my circumstances. When I started my journey I was 245lbs and dropped a total of 80lbs in about 8 months. My second biggest accomplishment has been impacting my community online with their own fitness goals. I've been able to help over 100 people lose weight from the program that I provide to them by helping them with community, meal plan, workout routines etc. I've been able to impact my business partners by teaching them how to make passive income from the convenience of their phone.

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What gems would you share with women who are looking to improve their personal health & get their bodies in better shape?

To become the best version of yourself you must first learn to love yourself. Learn to become gentle, kind, loving to yourself in the process. In order to get in the best shape you must be willing to leave the excuses at the door and allow greatness to overflow into your cup. Make a decision and just do it, take a leap of faith and allow yourself to learn and grow from others. Have a vision for where you want to be and bring into fruition. Anything is possible if you put your mind & heart into it.

What is your most valued aspect of what you do in your business?

The most valued aspect of my business is creating relationships with people. Building & growing great energy in the community while serving and sharing what I do. While giving my customer healthy options to choose from like energizing teas, protein smoothies, protein donuts, protein bars etc. I value making sure that I can leave an everlasting impression on the community.

How can you service our InfluencHERs? How does what you offer differ from others in your industry?

Daily Dose the brand has a positive role in the community with learning how to take care of your health & wellness. We are not only a brand but we stand together to provide people with an amazing time, great energy and love for our clients that become part of our family. We are not just products, we are serving the community's love & health.

Is there a client success story that stands out to you more than any other?

During the pandemic when the world was shut down, I was able to empower 10 women by starting their online business as a health coach and helping to make extra income from their home. My business partner mostly resides in Boston, MA or New York. I was able to provide a source of income to them to make over $1000 a month by helping other women on their fitness journey. It was such a powerful thing because the world was shut down but they were able to utilize their phone to make passive income. I'm so proud of the woman they are becoming. They allowed me to help them in a time of need when jobs were not in session and many people were being let go.

How can our readers connect with you?

Instagram: Personal: _selflovekelly Business: daily.dose.nutrition Website: https://linktr.ee/dailydosekennesaw P 31

OVER

HEALTHY HABITS FOR WOMEN 40 Developing healthy habits is important for women of all ages, but particularly for those over 40. This is because as we age, our bodies change, and we become more susceptible to certain health conditions.

As a woman over 40 myself, 44 to be exact; I began experiencing severe health issues in my mid 30’s during the pregnancy of my 4th child, Camora. As I approached 40 it worsened as my body changed, I continued to gain weight, my hormones were all over the place and I literally had no clue how to manage it all.

By 2019, I was almost 350 pounds, suffering from acute heart failure, diabetes, chronic high blood pressure, sleep apnea and every ache, pain and more than anything insecurity imaginable. I had to take immediate control of my life and my health both physically, mentally and emotionally.

In all honesty, I thought I was going to die. Things had to change immediately.

Knowing that was actually the main ingredient to the transformation recipe that was the journey ahead of me! Many say the decision is the most important part, but what my journey has taught me is that is only partly true.

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TRANFORM YOUR !

LIFESTYLE T R A N F O R M Y O U R L I F E

PRIORITIZE SLEEP: Getting adequate sleep is crucial for maintaining good health, especially as we age. Aim for 7-9 hours of quality sleep each night by establishing a regular sleep routine, avoiding screens before bedtime, and creating a comfortable sleep environment.

EXERCISE REGULARLY:

DO THE WORK Once you make the decision, you have to be relentless in your pursuit of the transformation. Be willing to really heal the broken places, realign the crooked mindsets, readjust the behaviors and habits that contributed to your wellness demise in the first place. You have to DO THE WORK.

Regular exercise can help maintain a healthy weight, reduce the risk of chronic diseases, and improve mental health. Aim for at least 150 minutes of moderate-intensity aerobic activity or 75 minutes of vigorous-intensity aerobic activity each week, in addition to muscle-strengthening activities at least two days per week.

BELIEVE YOU CAN In this issue I just want to share some of the first healthy habits I had to learn to adjust to make strides in my own wellness journey.

Here are some healthy habits that women over 40 can develop to promote good health and well-being:

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EAT A BALANCED DIET: A healthy diet that includes a variety of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, lean protein, and healthy fats can help maintain a healthy weight and reduce the risk of chronic diseases such as heart disease and diabetes.

MANAGE STRESS: Chronic stress can have negative effects on both physical and mental health. Find healthy ways to manage stress, such as meditation, deep breathing, yoga, or talking with a trusted friend or therapist.

STAY HYDRATED: Drinking plenty of water throughout the day is essential for good health, especially as we age.

Aim for at least 8 cups of water per day and limit caffeine and alcohol intake.

PRACTICE SELF-CARE: Make time for activities that bring joy and relaxation, such as reading, gardening, or taking a bath. Prioritizing self-care can help reduce stress and improve overall well-being.

GET REGULAR CHECK-UPS: Regular health screenings and check-ups with healthcare providers can help detect potential health problems early, when they are more treatable.

By incorporating these healthy habits into your daily routine, you can promote good health and well-being as a woman over 40. My personal journey has shown me that we can sometimes over complicate things by trying to follow every plan and program in an attempt to meet your goals.

Focusing on healing mentally and emotionally while getting back to the foundational principles of healthy living and making them my lifestyle changed the game for me. It absolutely can for you too!

Her TRANSFORM Join the

21 - Day

Lifestyle Challenge

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PAPERBACK COMING SOON TO

AVAILABLE

ih summer edition

HEALTH AND WELLNESS

NO MORE EXCUSES! JUMP INTO THE NEW

By Holly Jakes Jump-starting your fitness journey can be an exciting and motivating way to begin your path towards improved physical health. Here are three top ways to kick-start your fitness journey: Set Clear Goals: Start by setting clear and realistic fitness goals. Having specific targets helps provide direction and motivation. Your goals could include losing a certain amount of weight, running a 5K, or improving strength and flexibility. Make sure your goals are achievable and measurable, allowing you to track your progress over time.

taking steps to set realistic goals and expectations...

Create a Plan and Schedule: Developing a well-structured plan and schedule is essential for staying consistent and committed to your fitness journey. Determine how many days a week you can dedicate to exercise and select activities that align with your interests and fitness goals. You can include a combination of cardiovascular exercises, strength training, and flexibility exercises to achieve a balanced workout routine. Write down your schedule and treat your exercise sessions as non-negotiable appointments.

SUMMER Edition | 2023

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Start with small changes: Avoid overwhelming yourself with drastic changes.

Begin with small, manageable adjustments to your lifestyle, such as incorporating a 10minute daily walk, drinking more water, or adding a serving of vegetables to each meal.

Stay active: Regular physical activity is crucial for overall wellness. Find activities you enjoy, whether it's dancing, yoga, hiking, or sports, and try to engage in them regularly.

Eat a balanced diet: Focus on consuming a variety of nutrient-dense foods, including fruits, vegetables, whole grains, lean proteins, and healthy fats. Limit processed and sugary foods as much as possible.

Get enough sleep: Prioritize getting 7-9 hours of quality sleep each night. A well-rested body and mind are better equipped to handle daily challenges.

Practice mindfulness and stress management: Incorporate relaxation techniques such as meditation, deep breathing exercises, or yoga into your daily routine to reduce stress and increase overall well-being.

apps to track your daily activities, meals,

Holly Jakes

Guest Wellness Contributor

exercise, and how you feel. Seeing your

Remember, everyone's

progress over time can be encouraging and help

wellness journey is unique,

you identify areas that need improvement.

so find what works best for you and enjoy the process

Stay positive and be patient: Recognize that wellness is a journey, and it may take time to see

significant

changes.

Celebrate

small

victories along the way and be kind to yourself when faced with setbacks.

of becoming a healthier and happier version of yourself.

InfluencHER Magazine P 37

SUMMER 2023 | WELLNESS

Track your progress: Keep a journal or use

MOMENTS Written By: DeeDee "Dojay" Moore Take a moment to enjoy your moments.

Moments make up our life.

Moments bring us memories.

Moments are all we have.

One moment can change your whole life.

In one moment, we can change the world.

One second. One minute. One hour.

Each is a moment we will never get back.

Hold on to each moment because it is the last.

Savor the seconds, they will never return.

Hold off your plans because the moment needs you.

Let it be. Let it be. Let the moment be.

There is nothing more precious than a moment.

A moment with a newborn.

A moment with your true love.

A moment with family.

Moment by moment gives us the life we are headed to.

Moments shared are moments cared for.

There is not much we can do without a moment.

There is not much we can’t get out of a moment.

Second by second.

Minute by minute.

Hour by hour.

Moment by moment.

Life renews.

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Be The Architect

Of Your Life

LIFESTYLE

Curated Moments

For A

Curated Life

Life By Design

ENHANCE

YOUR

LIFESTYLE

IN

30

DAYS

Written By: Caige Phoenix

Significantly changing your life in 30 days really is possible, although not always easy. But even though this adventure is often a big challenge, the payoffs can be enormous.

We've all taken on challenges of one sort of another for 30 days. Maybe you tried a diet or an exercise program. Perhaps you decided to give up TV for 30 days. Even if you didn't stick with the program long-term, the results were great, weren't they? Now imagine if you expanded that idea to incorporate many areas of your life.

This lifestyle revamp includes implementing several 30-day challenges simultaneously. You can use these suggestions or develop your own. Try creating a 30-day challenge from each category and see where your new adventures lead you.

Duke | 102

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Road Map to Success Do you a have a brief description of the road map? Write it here, but keep it short and provide more details below.

01

Adjust your finances. Making more money or spending less is always a good financial theme. Alternatively, you might try balancing your accounts each day.

02

Kick start your physical health. Diet, exercise, or combinations of both are great places to start. You could begin with something as simple as the doing the 20-minute yoga program that's on TV every morning or taking the stairs at work instead of the elevator.

03

Eliminate time wasters. Think about the amount of time you spend watching TV, surfing the Internet, window-shopping, playing video games, or lurking on Facebook. We all know the activities we tend to engage in when we're bored or trying to avoid dealing with life's challenges. Try getting rid of just one and see how much more time you have!

04

Add in another positive activity. Come up with something more enriching or satisfying than the time waster you're eliminating. Maybe reading or taking a class would be in order. Perhaps you'll spend all your newly found time playing a musical instrument.

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Tips for Success in Your Program Now that you have some idea of changes you might want to make, how can you stick to them?

01

Get enough sleep. If you set a challenge of cutting two hours of sleep each night (or even just one hour!), it's going to make everything else more difficult. Regardless of whatever time-related goals you may set, allow yourself the 7-8 hours a night that you deserve.

02

Set goals that you can do daily, seven days a week. Creating a new habit with an activity you only do 3 times a week is often much harder. Try to keep all new activities limited to ones you can do every day.

03

Prepare ahead of time. Have everything you need in advance. Eliminate anything that might get in the way. For example, if you're trying to follow a specific diet, buy the food you'll need beforehand and get rid of food you want to avoid. You can't break down and eat that bag of chips if there aren’t any chips in the house!

04

Plan on social support. Tell your goals to your friends or family members that will support you in your efforts. Be careful in whom you confide.

Changing is a challenge in itself. Success is harder if others are making unsupportive comments.

Trying to change several aspects of your life simultaneously may require other changes as well, depending on your chosen goals. All of our behaviors tend to interact with other behaviors, which can make changing any of them a demanding task.

Do them together or choose the 30-day challenge you can implement and get started.

Remember to adequately prepare. If you can create several new positive habits and get rid of a few bad ones, your life will change dramatically for the better.

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EXPLORE AND GROW

travel will enhance your transformation journey

Traveling can be highly beneficial for personal transformation and growth.

Here are several ways in which traveling can positively impact your transformation journey:

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Written By: Caige Phoenix

reasons InfluencHER recommends getting outside Broadening Perspectives: Traveling exposes you to new cultures, languages, customs, and ways of life.

It allows you to step outside your comfort zone and experience different perspectives, expanding your understanding of the world. This exposure promotes open-mindedness, tolerance, and empathy, which can significantly contribute to personal growth and transformation.

Self-Discovery and Reflection: Traveling often involves stepping away from your daily routine and immersing yourself in new environments. This change of scenery provides an opportunity for selfreflection and introspection. You can gain insights into your own values, beliefs, and desires, as well as explore new aspects of your personality and strengths. Traveling encourages self-discovery and can lead to a deeper understanding of oneself.

Building Resilience and Adaptability: Traveling often involves encountering unfamiliar situations, unexpected challenges, and navigating through unfamiliar territory. It requires adaptability and problem-solving skills, which help build resilience.

Facing and overcoming these challenges while traveling can boost your confidence, resourcefulness, and ability to handle uncertainties, not just during your journey but also in other areas of life.

Stepping Out of Comfort Zones: Traveling pushes you out of your comfort zone by exposing you to new experiences, people, and environments. This can be transformative as it encourages personal growth, self-confidence, and a willingness to take risks. By embracing new adventures and facing fears, you can develop a sense of empowerment and an expanded belief in your capabilities.

Cultural Exchange and Learning: Engaging with different cultures and local communities during your travels provides a unique opportunity for learning and personal growth. It broadens your understanding of diverse traditions, histories, and lifestyles. By immersing yourself in local customs, participating in cultural activities, and interacting with people from different backgrounds, you can gain valuable insights, challenge preconceptions, and develop a more inclusive worldview.

Gaining a Fresh Perspective: Traveling allows you to step away from your everyday routine and see life from a new angle. It provides a break from the familiar and offers a chance to reflect on your priorities, values, and goals. Exposure to different environments and experiences can inspire fresh ideas, creativity, and a renewed sense of purpose, which can be transformative in shaping your personal journey.

Overall, traveling provides a transformative platform that fosters personal growth, self-discovery, resilience, and a broader perspective on life. It can be a catalyst for change, opening doors to new experiences and opportunities for transformation along your journey...SO GET OUTSIDE!!!

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5 WAYS TO CREATE

SPACE FOR YOU

By Natasha White As a woman, even more so, as a Black Women, I understand dealing with the demands of work, family and the ups and downs of life all while trying to keep it together. I understand working long hours, lack of sleep, exhaustion, fatigue and feeling like there is never any time for self. I have come to realize we women tend to negotiate our well being to maintain all the responsibilities we have but lack focus on the most important person-ourselves.

Set

To dispel the mindset that there is no time for self, here are five steps women can take to help make SPACE for themselves.

SPACE is an acronym which means Set Priority to Activate Consistently and Eliminate. I know that is a mouthful but here is a breakdown to better understand how its execution can benefit our self care.

Set Intentions:

Set means to put, lay or stand something in a specific position. Setting intention to put YOU before all on your todo list gives you inclusion into your schedule. It’s about setting boundaries and standing in them without question and making sure the outside forces are aware of them. When you SET time in place for YOU, everything else can be scheduled around that time thus giving you the flexibility to fill your cup.

● Acknowledging distractions that pull you from you ● Determine with whom and with what you need to set boundaries ● Make a list of your core values and set a standard for others to follow ● Set goals for your self care

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5 WAYS TO CREATE SPACE FOR YOU CONT'D

By Natasha White Prioritize Prioritize means the right to take precedence or proceed before others. Often times, as women, we put everything and everyone else before ourselves and thus we become lost to who we are.

Too often, we associate our self care with our jobs, spouses, children, business, hussle and the actions we take to show up for them. Yes, it is awesome to be there for others, but at what expense? Just as much as we make the people and things outside of us priority, we have to do the same for ourselves. Now since you have the intention set, it is time to make YOU a priority!

Prioritize YOU: ● Choose one challenge area that needs attention ● Note its current state ● Create an action step that is doable ● Put it on your schedule ● Give it 5-mins of your attention daily

A is for Activate Activate means to set something into motion, start up. If you never take action, it will never get done. Really, how often do we say we are going to do something for ourselves but get redirected toward someone or something else? It’s time to stop activating your energy for everyone but yourself. Be the change so you can reduce stress, frustration and overwhelm.

Now Is the Time To: ● Shift-value your well being more-say YES to YOU! ● Use this opportunity to embrace what’s best for you ● Hold yourself accountable and set alerts to remind yourself of what you already set and prioritized for yourself

C is for Consistency Slow and steady wins the race. If change is the desired result, then there must be continued forward motion. Your persistence is what will continue to keep you on track towards making time for yourself a lifestyle practice.

It’s about giving yourself grace even in the moments you get distracted, but knowing you have the arsenal to get back on track.

It’s about not giving up on you and showing up no matter what.

Never Give Up: ● Keep skin in the game-embrace your WINS ● Get a SURE accountability partner-You are not alone ● Don’t quit, tweak where/when needed

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5 WAYS TO CREATE SPACE FOR YOU CONT'D

E is for Eliminate Here is where you put an end to that which has been robbing you of having a fulfilling self care routine. This is vital to your growth, peace, strength, sanity, health and life. There are some things or people that need to go and once you are comfortable with ROCKING the other 4 steps, this part will not be so difficult.

Clean House: ● Create your exit list-people things not serving you ● Develop your exit strategy-block, exclude, delete ● Execute-gain peace of mind, stress less This SPACE journey is not a one size fits all. Address your pain points and utilize these prompts to help shift yourself care into the right direction. Get into the habit of showing up for you on purpose and reap the benefits for your emotional, mental and physical wellness.

Natasha White Natasha White is a Licensed Massage Therapist and Founder/CEO of New You Wellness, LLC out of Chicago.

She is passionate about helping women to take the work out of self care and utilized simple techniques that make pouring into themselves easy, doable and effective so they can operate at their most optimal level.

Natasha is one of the newest additions to the InfluencHER Editorial Team, make sure you connect with her and welcome her to our family!

www.new-you-wellness.com

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5 First Date Favs...

When planning a first date, it's essential to choose activities that allow both individuals to get to know each other in a comfortable and enjoyable environment. Here are five top first date ideas, high key fun, low key pressure: Coffee or Tea Date: Meeting for a coffee or tea is a classic and lowpressure first date option. It provides an opportunity to have a relaxed conversation and get to know each other without the pressure of committing to a long activity. Choose a cozy cafe or a trendy tea house where you can enjoy a warm beverage and engage in meaningful conversation.

Miniature Golf: Miniature golf is a fun and lighthearted activity that encourages friendly competition and laughter. It's an excellent way to break the ice and create a relaxed atmosphere. Plus, it allows you to interact and have fun together while engaging in a light physical activity.

We Outsiiiide!

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"LOVE IS A CANVAS FURNISHED BY NATURE AND EMBROIDERED BY IMAGINATION." - VOLTAIRE Outdoor Picnic: If the weather is pleasant, consider going on an outdoor picnic. Pick a scenic park or a quiet spot by the lake, and bring a basket of delicious snacks or a light meal. A picnic allows you to share food, relax in nature, and have a more intimate conversation away from the hustle and bustle of a busy venue.

Visit an Art Gallery or Museum: If you both appreciate art or history, visiting an art gallery or museum can be a stimulating and insightful experience. You can explore the exhibits together, discuss your thoughts on the artworks or artifacts, and learn more about each other's interests.

Cooking or Baking Class: Taking a cooking or baking class together can be a unique and interactive way to bond on a first date. It allows you to work as a team, have fun, and share a delicious meal or dessert that you've prepared together. This type of activity fosters collaboration and can lead to some memorable moments.

Remember that the best first date ideas cater to the interests and comfort levels of both individuals involved. Communication and mutual consent are key to ensuring a successful and enjoyable experience for both parties.

Do you have some great date night ideas? First date success stories? First date horror stories!!?? Share them with us and have your story published in InfluencHER Magazine...

InfluencHERinfo@gmail.com

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IF BLACK LOVE WINS, WHY ARE SO MANY OF US LOSING Written By: Dr. Kimberly King

"In all the world, there is no heart for me like yours. In all the world, there is no love for you like mine." - Maya Angelou

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If you spend any time on social media, you see #BLACKLOVEWINS everywhere. For every post that bears this positive moniker there are twice as many that disseminate toxic messages about love and relationships.

Many women are still looking for their “knight in shining armor” to save, lead and protect them. Tons of men are looking for a homemaker and a “ho” wrapped up in one. Both genders are debunking relationships altogether or vying to vet a future mate outside of their race as a way to win. Still others are choosing to blur the lines of relationships to get their emotional needs met on murky terms nuanced by ever-changing expectations.

IF Black Love Wins, then why are so many losing? Why is Black Love an enigma we have to emphasize in order to celebrate love? Let’s look at what Black Love is as a cultural entity and then I’ll unpack why this gift eludes so many who desperately want it, even though they may publicly profess the opposite. The coining of the term “Black Love” cannot be attributed to any one individual, but it has been represented in our culture across the sands of time. Black Love has been defined in current literature as “a spiritual journey that only people who are rich in melanin can experience…a love that can build an empire… a bond that goes deeper than words, gestures, praise, or adoration…a connection so strong that 500 years of oppression didn't stand a chance…the epitome of opulence, grace, and royalty… a love with such deep roots that it quite literally saved our ancestors from death and gave us life.

Black love is longevity, endurance, and the constant replenishment of a well that will never run dry.

This notion of Black Love is a consistent and vibrant thread that runs through the fabric of our history; a cloak our ancestors knit for us when they dared to marry during slavery when it was illegal and life-threatening to do so.

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"You are the finest, loveliest, tenderest, and most beautiful person I have ever known, and even that is an understatement." F. Scott Fitzgerald

Black Love cont'd Written By: Dr. Kimberly King Black Love was the impetus that spawned families in the 1930’s and 1940’s during The Great Migration. Black Love was Martin & Coretta, James & Florida, Quincy & Monica. Black Love endures, encourages, inspires, ignites, flourishes. Black Love is built on giving, building, bonding and mutual sacrifice toward a common goal. We’ve seen Black Love Win… in our families, in history, in the media, in cinema. Still so many are taking an “L”. Here are a few reasons why.

Fear remains a primary reason for the shortage of Black Love wins. Real or imagined trauma blocks every attempt at loving or being loved. Even when we meet someone who checks all the boxes, they seem too good to be true. Fear births self-sabotage that renders ultimatums or impossible demands that no lover could satisfy. So, we test the intentions of our suitors and when they fail, we sulk in expected misery. Selffulfilling prophecies always come true; which is why a renewed mindset is essential to overcoming fear.

1 Still We Rise.

Williams (2022 )

(2017);

Terrell(2021);

Self-sabotage also manifests by comparing your perfectly good relationship to others.

Not only is comparison the thief of joy, but you're guaranteed to set yourself up for failure by trying to emulate other couples.

You can’t build a solid structure with incomplete blueprints. And let's be honest; all we know about other people’s relationships is what they show us or choose to tell us.

Relationships are not meant to be cloned.

Each pairing is unique and should be celebrated for that uniqueness. Borrow elements of success from the couples you observe, and tailor it to suit you and your beloved. Design your own relationship branding.

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#BLACKLOVEWINS Skewed narratives have persuaded the culture into believing that real love is an anomaly.

Situationships and side chick status have been accepted as a universal reality. So many individuals have never witnessed a healthy relationship, therefore doubting they exist. An overarching apathy prevails, perpetuated by reality tv and popular music where toxic relationships are the norm.

As a culture we have adopted a Eurocentric, individualistic way of life. Historically, Black Love has been the product of our collectivist upbringing. Traditionally, goals were set to benefit the family and community at large. Our relationships were a reflection of this value. A “You and me against the world” frame of mind was reinforced with the support of family and friends.

However, due to this paradigm shift, many singles have begun to see relationships merely as a means of security and social mobility.

Relationship goals are driven by attainment of wealth and outdoing “The Joneses”.

Little thought is given to the fulfillment of twoness, reciprocity of affection or building a legacy with a potential partner. The focus is on what someone can “bring to their table”, even if they lack a roof of their own.

A dependence on social media and self-help materials as the primary source of education on relationships has become a contributing factor to the demise of modern relationships. Women and men have turned the quest for Black Love into a 12-step process. If you just do “this list of things”, you can find your soulmate. Google “10 ways to bag your partner of choice”. The majority of fodder available tells readers and listeners what they “should want” in a mate or what you’re “supposed to do”; yet never challenge the consumer of this information to look within and be honest about what they want- for real.

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Bl ck Love It’s impossible to apply real or digital advice if you don’t know who you are at the most basic level. It is essential that you are aware of your core values; the stuff that really matters to you. The “you” that maybe no one really knows, or you forgot about. Take this moment as a golden opportunity to meet the “you” you were before your family, peers, former lovers and social media coached you into being somebody else. Ask yourself: Who were you before someone told you were unlovable?

Too big, too small or not enough to be loved?

You’ve fashioned yourself according to everyone else’s requirements for so long your identity is distorted. And when you tried to push back and advocate for yourself, your past mistakes were thrown in your face. So you began to doubt that you really could make decisions for yourself at all. You concluded maybe it’s just better to listen to those who “care” about me. In the process of becoming acceptable to all these external forces, you succumbed to the pressure, and allowed your voice to be drowned out along with your identity. “Hey Black Child, do you know who you are? Who you really are?” 2 How do we propagate Black Love winning? By intentionally preparing ourselves to give what we desire and possess what we require. You can start by considering these gentle calls to action: 2 Perkins (1975)

Learn yourself, for real. Self-knowledge activates your ability to hear your voice, authentically. Having conversations with yourself by yourself provides space for selfdiscovery. After you reintroduce yourself to yourself you will quickly be better equipped to recognize what does not bring you joy. If it doesn’t propel you toward your highest good, your spirit will subsequently reject it.

As an added bonus, your social circle will alter itself, as you consistently emerge selfreliant and self-confident.

Get back to her. Rediscover that girl you left behind or hid so you could survive and avoid getting your heart broken. Apologize to her, forgive her and extend some grace to “little you” that's screaming to be heard.

Find out what she likes, what turns her on, what makes her eyes sparkle. Daydream big, high definition, 3D, vivid fantasies like you did as a child, before adulting and adults forced you to be logical. Replace the soundtrack of unrequited love and heartbreak with mental replays of the love you secretly desire but may be embarrassed or too jaded to admit!

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Know your worth. Evaluate all the attributes you possess that make you, you. Create a list of your personal assets to calculate your worth. What’s something you do better than anyone else? Own it!

When you realize the wealth you carry as a unique life force, you'll dismiss time-wasters unapologetically. Softly. Seamlessly. You don’t have to shout or scream. Authority speaks volumes without volume. Like delivering “No” as a complete sentence.

Court yourself Queen. Even if you’re currently in a relationship, slow walk the intimate journey into your core. Replace the negative voices of the past with positive affirmations of the present. Talk to her. Compliment her. Woo her. Celebrate the beauty of your bountiful giving spirit, the creativity you possess from the Divine. Your good, your bad, your ugly.

A perfect and complete blend of imperfections deserving to be loved… without explanation. Take yourself out. Dress yourself elegantly. Treat yourself with sensual pleasures. Pursuing yourself with the highest form of care delivers a primer to the world on how to treat you.

"I am my beloved's, and Prune the dead branches of your damaged

my beloved is mine." -

emotions, so the living water of love can drench

Song of Solomon 6:3

your roots, tips and heart. Face your trauma, minister to your wounds so you’re strong

As your thirst for love is

enough to create boundaries to protect you

quenched, first from within, you

from unanticipated triggers and potential hurt.

won’t feel threatened to give love

The reward of shedding and shredding will

to others without pretense or

outweigh

anxiety. In the words of the

the

risk

of

this

uncomfortable

process. You really want love. It’s a basic human

iconic R&B group Earth, Wind &

need. It's okay to want love and to be loved.

Fire- “you can't give what you

Don’t be afraid to receive love. Don't be afraid

never had”. Or in this case, what

to give love. Liberally. Luxuriously. It’s in the

you had, but may have lost.

giving that we receive.

2 Perkins (1975)

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SUMMER EDITION

InfluencHER Magazine

#BLACKLOVEWINS

"BLACK LOVE IS A REVOLUTION; IT DEFIES, TRANSCENDS, AND CELEBRATES ALL THAT WE ARE." -UNKNOWN

Cont'd By Kimberly King

"Black begins with loving yourself as you are, where you are. Today."

I’m convinced this is a season of healing, where givers are finding givers, and real relationships are evolving as restitution for past heartbreak…for those who have done the work. The shadow work. The necessary work of being committed to loving who you are unconditionally and showing up surrendered and assured in every area of your life.

Relationships are blooming that are thriving and providing emotional security to couples who have only dreamed about what they are currently experiencing. Isn’t it time for you to win too?

Black begins with loving yourself as you are, where you are. Today.

Black love wins when it is rooted in two winners who love themselves at the core.

Black love wins when I want for you what I want for me, unashamedly and unselfishly.

Black love wins when we play to win together.

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B L A C K

L O V E

W I N S

Naked.

Pure.

Whole.

Winning!

References Perkins, Useni Eugene. (1975). Hey Black Child.

Still We Rise. (2017). Urban Dictionary. https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=black%20love.

Accessed 7/30/2023 Terrell, D. (2021) The Power of Black Love According To….21 NInety.

Williams, N. (2022). What Healthy Black Love Looks Like. marriage.com

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I N F L U E N T I A L

BEAUTY

2023 TRENDS

FASHION "IN ORDER TO BE IRREPLACEABLE, ONE MUST ALWAYS BE DIFFERENT." - COCO CHANEL

SUMMER EDITION | AUGUST ‘23

@influencHERlifestyle

BEAUTY HACKS

BEAUTY FEATURE

SUMMER '23

THE WIG ROOM

It is undeniable that black has long been a favorite in the fashion world.

Now, looking all black has become a chic and fashionable thing. In addition to providing a slimming effect and suitable for all skin tones, black also gives an elegant and cool impression.

"BEAUTY BEGINS THE MOMENT YOU DECIDE TO BE YOURSELF." - COCO CHANEL

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Janel Nichole

Introduce us to Janel Nichole and The Diamond Effect by JN? Take a moment to introduce yourself and your brand to our InfluencHERs & give them a peek into your world!

Diamond Effect by JNichole launched September 27th, 2018. We are the home of top-quality machine-made wigs. Along with wigs, beginner friendly hands on/online wig courses and business mentoring are also offered. Another gem under the Diamond Effect brand is the Ultimate Silk & Thermal Shield. The Ultimate Silk & Thermal Shield is a heat protectant spray that has become a staple in the beauty industry. I am also known for making wigs in under 15 minutes! Yes, 15 minutes or under! (laughs) I’ve been blessed to teach others all across the world my exact techniques. Something I truly enjoy!

I'M SEW INTO YOU...

Diamond Effect by JN

Why did you decide to choose beauty as a way to express your passion and purpose to the world?

Growing up in a hair salon had a lot to do with where my passion stemmed from.

My mom was a beautician. I picked up on a lot of things naturally. Hair became my passion at an early age.

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DIAMOND EFFECT BY JN Watching women come into the salon, get in that chair and the look of excitement on their faces after they were done.... PRICELESS! I knew that if I could contribute anything to the beauty industry it would be to enhance the beauty that every woman was ALREADY born with!

Why did you decide to choose beauty as a way to express your passion and purpose to the world?

My love for hair was part of what inspired me to start. My mom was the main source of inspiration. I was taught early that the crown of a woman was her hair. When a woman’s hair is done it gives her a new level of confidence!

Share with us some of your journey; what are some of the most challenging things you have had to overcome?

The most challenging thing I ever had to overcome was doubt, feeling like I couldn’t move forward. A month after I decided to leave my full time job to fulfill my dream of being a full-time business owner, I found out I was pregnant. At that moment I felt like it was the end. How was I going to juggle BOTH at the same time? Two NEW things! Even though in that moment I felt some doubt, there was STILL hope!

There was still the voice of God telling me I could do this. In that moment what I may have thought was the end, God was telling me it was just the beginning! That was 2019, here I am going into 2023 which will be 5 years in business! So glad I didn’t give up!

"The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mode but the true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul."

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BE-YOU-TIFUL AFFIRMATIONS I AM BEAUTIFUL AND UNIQUE IN MY OWN WAY. MY INNER BEAUTY RADIATES THROUGH MY SMILE AND ACTIONS. I AM CONFIDENT AND COMFORTABLE IN MY OWN SKIN. I DESERVE TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF AND FEEL GOOD ABOUT IT. MY BODY IS A VESSEL OF STRENGTH AND GRACE. I AM WORTHY OF LOVE AND RESPECT JUST AS I AM. I CHOOSE TO SEE THE BEAUTY WITHIN AND AROUND ME. EVERY DAY, I AM BECOMING MORE RADIANT AND SELFASSURED. I EMBRACE MY FLAWS AS PART OF MY UNIQUE BEAUTY. I AM GRATEFUL FOR MY BODY'S HEALTH AND VITALITY. I TREAT MYSELF WITH KINDNESS AND COMPASSION. MY CONFIDENCE SHINES BRIGHTER THAN ANY COSMETIC. I AM MORE THAN MY PHYSICAL APPEARANCE; MY SOUL'S BEAUTY IS INFINITE. I AM COMFORTABLE AND CONFIDENT EXPRESSING MYSELF THROUGH MY STYLE. I RADIATE POSITIVITY, AND IT ENHANCES MY NATURAL BEAUTY.

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What have been your most rewarding moments along your entrepreneur journey?

The most rewarding thing on this journey is being able to serve others! I’ve been able to serve people all around the world. With wigs, classes, mentoring sessions, speaking events, etc. All I ever wanted to do is be a blessing. If I don’t do anything else, I want to be able to encourage and uplift those around me in some way!

Entrepreneurship has allowed me to go places and reach people in ways I’ve never imagined. I’ll keep serving, as long as I’m here!

What are your 3 best pieces of advice for any woman looking to start a beauty brand?

1. Focus on your direction and not your speed. Meaning stop worrying about how fast you’re going to get there and when it’s going to happen. Focus on the real reason why you started! Focus on the goal, the dream, the purpose...not how quick you can get there.

2. Never compare yourself to anyone. Understand that there is a time and season for everything! What’s for you won’t ever miss you!

3. Give yourself GRACE and embrace your journey! Your journey is what makes your story UNIQUE. It’s not the destination, it’s the journey. That’s where character is built, lessons are learned, and more wisdom is gained! Embrace it all!

What is your favorite aspect of the business? What part of your business gives you the most joy?

My favorite aspect of business is going back to what I mentioned prior and that’s being able to serve those around me! It brings me so much joy when people tell me how much anything I’ve done has helped them in some way. It means so much!

What can we look forward to from The Diamond Effect in 2023?

I have a lot of new exciting things that I can’t announce just yet, but I can’t wait to share with you all soon! Please be sure to follow us on all platforms to see what’s in store.

How can you service our InfluencHERs? How does what you offer differ from others in your industry?

I look to service InfluencHERs by reminding them of their worth!

Remember who you ARE is your golden ticket! Yes, there may be others doing exactly what you do but they don’t operate in the same spirit as YOU! Sometimes we have to be reminded of that and reminded of our value. That’s what I strive to do each and every day.

It’s not just about selling an item or service but making a positive impact on those around you!

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How can our readers connect with you? Give your contact, website & social media info so they know how to shop & connect with you.

Instagram: diamondeffectjn TikTok: diamondeffectjn Facebook: Diamond Effect by JNichole Website: diamondeffectjn.com Email: diamondebyjn@gmail.com

JN.

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T H E R E I S B E A U T Y I N Y O U R U N I Q U E N E S S

"beauty is not in in the face it is light I N

T H E

- K A H L I L

H E A R T " G I B R A N

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FASHION FEATURE SUMMER '23

JANYELLE MILTON J. MARIE

PREMIUM SNEAKERS Story Time With the CEO

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Meet the Creator and Owner of J. Marie Premium Sneakers

Fun, feminine, fly and comfy!

Hi! My name is Janyelle Marie Milton founder of J Marie Premium Sneakers! In High School you couldn't catch me dead in "gym shoes ", I LOVED heels! I loved the feminine way they made me look and feel.

Graduating from College....not so much.

As I settled into corporate America and moved into downtown Detroit, my life became parking structures and A LOT of walking! Then came the health issues, a diagnosis of multiple sclerosis and losing vision in my right eye. Quickly a heel that was once the cornerstone of my look became the cornerstone of my pain!

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the constant body aching, weight gain and feelings of uncomfortableness had me looking for an alternative to heels. I tried different gym shoe brands that were either masculine, childish or too athletic and none of them fit the style that I was accustomed to.

So, I ditched "gym shoes" for good and created my own PREMIUM SNEAKER brand as an alternative to heels for premium women like myself. I took the first initial of my first name and my middle name and created J. Marie Premium Sneakers! I didn't want to compromise style, comfort or quality! Now you don't have to either! I offer PREMIUM women sneakers that can be dressed up or down.

When I think about "walking a mile in someone's shoes."

People are so quick to judge a person, you will hear them say things like "Couldn't be me" or "they could just do this" not knowing the full scope of what brought the person to that particular point in life- Walk a mile in their shoes just means put yourself in their position and try to have empathy to understand why, who they are and why they do the things they do.

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Inspiration Station I have always been into fashion...when I was in grade school, I collected magazines and knew all the high-end designers but couldn't afford it. When I fell ill and began looking for an alternative, not being able to find one is what led me to starting my own brand.

INSPIRATION IS EVERYWHERE! I'm always looking out for POPPING colors! This is always the spark that ignites my inspiration. I may see someone with a particular color on and it may inspire me to design.

BRANDS THAT INSPIRE ME, Betsey Johnson, Kate Spade, Sophia Webster.

I think breaking all the fashion rules is such a relevant trend now- I encourage people to just be free and wear what inspires them, what showcases their mood for that daywhat represents who they want to be perceived as.

I'd like to see a subculture of sneakerheads exist where it's not primarily male or sports driven. feel my brand is the caveat to that.

We are a SNEAKER brand but it's not your average sneaker or what people have come to expect from a sneaker.

We design with our audience in mind and create designs that mirror nothing else on the market!

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BUSINESS & FINANCE

BRAINS BEAUTY BOSS START THE BIZ

SUPPORT FOR HER

TRANSFORM DEBT

COVHERGirl SUMMER ISSUE '23

SHOWING UP

FOR HER

PRECIOUS MONET

BE HER

SUPPORT

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ALLOW ME

TO INTRODUCE MYSELF

Precious, thank you for joining us today! Let's take a moment and have you introduce yourself to our readers who may not know who you are.

Precious Monét is an experienced and well-established businesswoman, who has mastered the art of planning and execution, which has been a huge asset to her journey thus far. She is on a mission to impact lives with her time and talents. Throughout her educational journey, Precious prepared and planned for the success she has now, equipped with professional roots in Human Resources, Project Management along with her obtaining a BA in Administrative Management and completing her certification to become a certified Life Coach.

Precious is proud of the authenticity her brand Be Her Support provides by connecting one-on-one with people, and especially connecting them with other useful professionals and resources. Precious Monét also commits much of her life to community work and volunteering for churches and organizations that directly serve the people. Precious plans to continue to move strategically, and grow her own businesses, while aiding in the growth and service of both her valued clients, as well as the community.

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WHAT IS

YOUR WHY?

Precious, What’s the backstory behind how you came up with the idea for your business?

Everyone has a story and Precious Monèt story started when she was a little girl being influenced by her father who started his entrepreneurship journey at the age of 16.

She always knew she would become her own entrepreneur one day, but she just wasn’t sure what she wanted to do that would be impactful. Her parents are always her inspiration and as she grew older and continued to see the ongoing strength in her parents and how they would impact their community, it is in her DNA to become who she is.

A strong confident woman that loves helping others and impacting the community. Precious journey was not easy but well worth every letdown, disappointment, and challenge she had to face to be the strong person that she is today.

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Although she always had support from her parents, it was always a challenge throughout her personal & professional career to gain support from friends, colleagues, and supervisors.

Imagine being up for a promotion and the colleague that you went to lunch with every day that you trust goes behind your back to tell the president of the company your are not qualified for the promotion.

How about imagining your best friend that you trusted for 10 years turned their back on you when you decided to open a business when you needed them most?

With some of these challenges Precious had to face, she was tired of trying to fit in and wanted to be a resource for women that lack support. Whether you lack support in your personal life, professional career, or entrepreneurial joinery, she decided to create a platform (Be Her Support) to provide the support and accountability we often are not comfortable asking for.

Especially after feeling betrayed, hurt by people we trust, hurt by people that look like you or even just feeling stuck.

"In a world where you can be anything, be a woman who supports other women."

- Unknown

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BIRTHING THE VISION Be Her Support was birth due to the lack of support from women that look like her. Witnessing constant competition amongst women also plays a part in why she wanted to design an environment where collaboration trumps competition through community events.

Be Her Support is the safe haven for women who are ready to experience & demonstrate what true support looks like through community, connections & collaborations.

How have you built such a strong reputation?

Entrepreneurship is not easy! For anyone that says it is, Precious would love to meet them one day.

Entrepreneurship is about being relentless for your passion and your willingness to embrace change. It is one of the biggest risks but so satisfying if you are doing what you love.

By continuing to show up in her business authentically is what help build her reputation within the market.

BUSINESS & FINANCE

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I’m sure it has not been obstacle-free, but so far would you say the journey has been a fairly smooth road?

No craft is ever easy, and pursuing one’s passion involves a journey of struggles and triumphs. But as Precious Monèt can attest, when a person is fueled by their vision and armed with dedication, translating their dreams into reality is feasible.

Entrepreneurship is about being relentless for your passion and you’re willing to embrace change.

IT IS ALL WORTH THE RISK.....

It is one of the biggest risks but so satisfying if you are doing what you love. Precious journey was not easy but well worth every letdown, disappointment, and challenge she had to face to be the strong person that she is today. There were so many people that couldn’t see her vision, did not support her, and would rather see her fail.

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SO MAYBE WE END ON DISCUSSING WHAT MATTERS MOST TO YOU AND WHY?

Some of the hardest parts during this journey were being taken advantage of by her own family, the loss of friendships that she thought would always be by her side, and the fear of losing her home. You will learn as you grow that not everyone is for you. It’s important to surround yourself around positive people and people that can hold you accountable. Precious has finally learned not to always expect your plans to go as planned but to plan for the unexpected.

What matters most to Precious is creating a safe space for women to give and receive support amongst other women.

She is committed to changing the world when it comes to women competing with other women, one woman at a time.

Services: Business Consulting 1:1 Coaching VIP Days Speaking Engagements

Contact Info: Website: www.preciousmonet.com Instagram: instagram.com/iampreciousmonet Email: support@preciousmonet.com BUSINESS & FINANCE P 82

"THE SOPHISTICATED LADY"

MONEY TRAP WRITTEN BY KIMBERLY “K. DEVONNE” HURDLE

YOU CAN

GET OUT

A friend of mine hit me up a few weeks ago and asked how I managed to get out of my credit card debt. She recalled a previous conversation we had and was trying to get pointers for herself. Let me first start with this bit of information about myself. I was about 20K in debt and had about 10 credit cards. I had store cards, VISA, and Mastercard, I was discovering possibilities with Discover card……it was bad! You know, my parents warned me about having bad habits with credit cards and what did I do??, I did everything they told me not to.

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CREATE YOUR MONEY

STRATEGY

Point of View

Choices

You see, at some point in life we

I decided that consolidation was

all may find ourselves in a “money

the best route for me. While I chose

trap.” What is a money trap

the consolidation route, this may

you ask? Well, my definition of a

not be the best route for others

money trap is when you have so

based on what they’re trying to

much debt that you feel

achieve in life. My friend decided

trapped and can’t find your way

that a personal loan was the best

out of it. As I previously stated, I

route for her so she could have one

found myself in a money trap

payment.

of 20K about 8 years back now and made my way out of it.

Approach The approach looks different and will always be situational-based.

Let’s look at a few pros and cons of consolidation and personal loans for credit card consolidation.

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Consolidation Companies 1

Pros

-Negotiate rate and payments for you -May decrease the total amount that you have to pay back

2

Cons

-May hurt credit score once the process is complete -May close credit cards that you wanted to keep

THE SOPHISTICATED LADY

Personal Loans 1

Pros

-Gives you one payment -Can keep your credit cards if you please

2

Cons

-Applying gives a hard inquiry to your credit report

I hope this has provided a starting point, but before you decide to get out of your money trap, be sure to do your research to see what best suits you.

BUSINESS & FINANCE

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My Extraordinary Life BY: TILLIE PORTER “If it wasn’t for the struggle, I wouldn’t have the strength”, Not your average businesswoman! The struggle is REAL, and always has been, let’s start there! From being addicted to Xanax, to making over 1,000 dollars in a night of floor dancing for the City’s Bottom and Elite men, from selling guns in an alley, to watching my padre get murdered in front of me and surviving a gunshot wound myself just to name a few. All these things were part of my humble beginnings.

In 2007 after surviving the unthinkable and escaping the treacherous streets of North Omaha, God granted me a fresh start.

Indeed, his mercy endureth forever. He snatched me out of the streets, placed me in a place of Solitude, where I could think clearly. That day on I vowed to never go back to the street life ever again.

I chose peace. Becoming a Hermit if you will. The voice of the Lord kept telling me to write. My story needed to be heard. Ignoring his voice for years didn’t get me anywhere, my life was still and stagnant.

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In 2020 after a separation from my Ex-husband, the voice of the Lord was heard again, “Write your story” The process started, and I begin to write. In 2021 my first Memoir was debuted on Christmas Day of 2021.

Honest H.O.E. Honesty Over Everything. The story of my life.

Selling internationally sitting at 5 stars on Amazon and sold on over 30+platforms has been incredible.

This book has touch so many lives, and many more in counting. Now Owner of Diamond One Book Advisory Services & More LLC, which is a full Editorial Services, and to help other to become first time authors!

My passion for nursing still run high, have been a Nurse for over 18+ years. Have been offered to sit on several different North Omaha Community Boards. I am the CEO of AGMI, and Anti-Gang Mediation Initiative, and as of current, Creator and Content creator of an upcoming TV show, and the list continues. He turned my Mess into a message, and my pain into purpose, and can indeed do the same for YOU!

You too can do all things through him that strengthens you!

Take it from me, it's not about how we start, it’s about how we finish.

Entrepreneurs/Business Owners never want to talk about, nor admit the past or daily flaws and the struggles we all face on the daily grind.

We must push through these tribulations. “If you can look up, you can get up”. Never give up.

Execute your dreams in real time!

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BOOK AVAILABLE NOW

Tillie Porter is the owner of Diamond One Book Advisory Services & More LLC, which entails an array of services such as Manuscript write up, Editing, Proofreading, and helping individuals become Authors. Moreover, debuted her first Memoir Honest H.O.E. Honesty Over Everything sitting at five stars on Amazon, currently being sold internationally in 10 different countries and on various major Platforms such as Barnes & Nobles, Apple, Target, and Walmart to name a few.

Tillie is currently at work on her next project that entails Real Realty TV. Tillie is a Godfearing woman who loves to spend time in prayer, meditation, and with her 8-year-old daughter. In her free time, she spends those days enjoying theoutdoors, or doing community service work.

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INFLUENCHER MAGAZINE Will never stop providing the best content related to the way women live their lives, in a magazine. It is my commitment and the entire InfluencHER Magazine team to always provide the latest and most substantive content on the local and international scene because we believe our readers deserve the best!

Caige Phoenix Editor-in-Chief