#BLACKLOVEWINS

Skewed narratives have persuaded the culture into believing that real love is an anomaly. Situationships and side chick status have been accepted as a universal reality. So many individuals have never witnessed a healthy relationship, therefore doubting they exist. An overarching apathy prevails, perpetuated by reality tv and popular music where toxic relationships are the norm

As a culture we have adopted a Eurocentric, individualistic way of life. Historically, Black Love has been the product of our collectivist upbringing. Traditionally, goals were set to benefit the family and community at large. Our relationships were a reflection of this value. A “You and me against the world” frame of mind was reinforced with the support of family and friends

However, due to this paradigm shift, many singles have begun to see relationships merely as a means of security and social mobility

Relationship goals are driven by attainment of wealth and outdoing

“The Joneses”.

Little thought is given to the fulfillment of twoness, reciprocity of affection or building a legacy with a potential partner. The focus is on what someone can “bring to their table”, even if they lack a roof of their own.

A dependence on social media and self-help materials as the primary source of education on relationships has become a contributing factor to the demise of modern relationships. Women and men have turned the quest for Black Love into a 12-step process. If you just do “this list of things”, you can find your soulmate. Google “10 ways to bag your partner of choice”. The majority of fodder available tells readers and listeners what they “should want” in a mate or what you’re “supposed to do”; yet never challenge the consumer of this information to look within and be honest about what they want- for real.