Sorrento Bowling Club Magazine Issue 86 September 2021

Sorrento Bowling Club’s Quarterly News Magazine

The June 2021 Men's Dash for Cash "Soup Ladies" – Anne Orton, Jan Paniperis, Charmain Harris, Cheryl Greig, Larraine Brickell and Shona Carter

No 86 September Quarter 2021

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Contents/Index

From Your Editors 4 Around Our Club 5 Around Our Club – continued 6 President's Report 10 Men's Captain's Report 15 Getting to Know Our New Members 16 More "Around our Club" 20 Match Committee Report 23 Trevors Carpets Men's Invitation Day 26 Grandparents’ Answering Machine Message 31 Answers to Quiz in June Quarter magazine 32 Women's Inter-Region Round Robin 34 Gripes/Moans/Groans/Whinges/Complaints 34 Sponsor’s Corner 40 Sorrento does well in Australian Open 41 Croquet Report 42 Our Darts Club 45 Now, this makes sense! 45 Answers to Who are these Youngsters 46 Great truths about growing old 46 Interpreting a Skip’s Language 48 How to Make a Woman Happy 49 The Ups and Downs of Umpiring 50 If Rudyard Kipling had been a Bowler 52 The WCE and the "Sorrento" Connection 54 Tribute to our Life Members 56 Some More Photos from the Past 62

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From Your Editors

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ell here we are more than half way through 2021. This is our third quarterly magazine for the year. In our March 2021 edition we paid tribute to our volunteers. In this edition we pay tribute to our 22 Life Members. We thank this special group of volunteers who have done so much for our Club from 1976 to the present day.

As always we hope that you enjoy what we have put together with help from Jim Woodward, Brian Lucas and all our other regular contributors. A special thank you to Ian Lucas, Carmel Hyde, Denis Croker, Wendy Flack, Robyn van Mosseveld, Bruce Eagles and Lee Leach who are always prepared to help with photographs. Thanks also to Ian Wittber who has spent many hours digitising old photographs.

Some more "Did you Hear" and "Did you Know" Did you know that there is some confusion about what constitutes the Perth Metropolitan area? Someone told us that geographically Perth is the 12th largest city in the world. With help from Google and Bob Mulroy we have established that Perth stretches from Yanchep in the North to Mandurah in the South (a distance of 124 km) and covers 6418 square kilometres. Based on the following we have Perth in 6th position!

Square kilometres 1. New York - Newark United States 12,093 2. Boston - Providence United States 9,538 3. Tokyo Japan 8,230 4. Atlanta United States 7,400 5. Chicago United States 7,006 6. Perth Australia 6,418 7. Los Angeles United States 6,351 8. Moscow Russia 5,891 9. Washington - Baltimore United States 5,891

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Around Our Club

Sorrento members who played in the Busselton Trevors Carpets Dash for Cash. L-R: Jan Cook, Gae Gibbs, Pauline Bourne, Kevin Cook, Ray Green, Kevin Gibbs, Ken Leach, Ken Hollick, Kerry, Vic, Wendy Saul, Brian Saul, Maureen Green, Lee Leach, Jan Hollick and Tony Bourne.

Neville Odell, Bob Mulroy and Lindsay Baker – winners of the 5 Quinns Rocks annual Men's Triples competition

Bob Jeffs and Pauline Marsden runners up in the Mixed Veterans' Pairs

Around Our Club – continued

Guess who? Two of our members when they were 20 and 18! Answers on page 46 Did you know that in April Neil and Sylvia McLaughlan celebrated their 65th Anniversary and in June Ken and Nora Giles celebrated their Diamond Anniversary

Jennifer Page Winner of the Women's Novices

Emily Dunn, May McLiver and Mary Cressey enjoying a 6 glass of wine in the sunshine

Did you know that Chris Lander, after three gruelling days of bowls, won the State Over 60s Men's Singles Championship? A huge achievement Chris, well done!! Congratulations also to Pauline Bourne for reaching the quarter finals of the State Over 60s Women's Singles.

Did you know that when NASA started sending astronauts into space they quickly discovered that ball-point pens would not work in zero gravity? To combat this problem NASA scientists spent a decade and over $165 million developing a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, on almost any surface and at temperatures below freezing to over 300 degrees Centigrade. The Russians used a pencil.

Did you know that our $7 Friday night pints have proved very popular since we emerged from lockdown with over 8000 being sold to date.

Did you hear that when it is raining over east, they do not call off bowls until half of the jack is submerged under water and the mat is floating? This was according to a "fig jam" bowler who has recently moved to Perth. He reckons Sandgrophers are a bunch of wimps! Google says that, over East, after a hailstorm play is only restarted after the hail has stopped falling and then attention is given to the amount of ice on the green. If the playing surface is covered in snow before the game is set to commence, both side managers of the day will agree whether the game continues.

Did you hear that Wendy Saul received a rather nasty gashed finger while catering for Trevor’s Carpet and that luckily, Jenni Lockwood was on hand with medical help to insert six stitches? Both Wendy and Jenni survived.

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Did you know that in the 1980s Sorrento used to play an annual bowls game against the Harvey Bowling Club? This was known as the “Sorrento Harvey Interclub Trophy.” The trophies were a bedpan and a urine receptacle, and winners were asked to drink from them after the game. Unfortunately, one of our lady members took exception to the trophies and discarded them to the dump! This competition was played about three times, with us visiting them on at least one occasion, with the bus trip there and back being quite an event, with numerous “pit stops”. Thanks to Ian Wittber for this interesting information.

Did you know that Sorrento is in the "Guinness Book of Records" for the highest score in a bowls match? In March 1998 the team of Brad Stewart (age 14), Dick Oates, Albie Felgate and Barry Goodwin (missing from this photo and represented by his wife) beat Innaloo 67 to 5 Did you hear that several Melbourne councils have joined forces to combat ageism by banning phrases including 'silly old bugger' and 'old fogey'. In an attempt to tackle prejudice against the elderly and to stamp out phrases like 'wrinkly' or 'senior's moment'? Birthday cards with belittling ageist jokes will disappear, derogatory terms for old people will be as unacceptable. Another reads: 'An older driver has a minor car accident, what are you likely to think?' One of the responses to the questions is: 'He probably had a senior's moment on his way to lawn bowls'.

Did you hear that a Josh Eastwell, a Sydney man, aims is to eat a sausage at every Bunnings in Australia? He has so far downed 172 of

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the 280 snags on offer, sampling the humble local staple everywhere from the Apple Isle to Broome. He has just returned from a road trip to WA, NSW and Queensland. His mission is to complete the sausage crawl in Darwin by the year’s end. When asked “Why” He said "It’s just something to do really”.

Did you hear that when Val McIntosh was asked why her husband was so thin she replied "You can't fatten a thoroughbred or a mongrel"!

Did you know that according to Alan Gallagher the three "L.L.Ls" of bowls are Line and Length and Luck?

Did you know that there are only four types of bowls? √ Good lucky bowls √ Good unlucky bowls √ Bad lucky bowls and √ Bad unlucky bowls Did you know that there have been big problems this year with Chilli Thrip affecting our roses? It has been described as the equivalent of COVID 19 for roses. Alan Gallagher has been spraying our roses as these are infested with the Chilli Thrip. Speak to Alan if you need to know more about and how to get rid of it on your rose bushes, Finally, thanks to the efforts of Ian Lucas and his team, we received this message in June from Steph and Mitch after their engagement party ? Hi Ian, Mitch and I wanted to thank you, your gorgeous wife Chloe and the other lovely barmaid for a wonderful night at your venue. You were all so easy to deal with, friendly and helpful. We would definitely hold another function at the Sorrento Bowling Club in a heartbeat. Thank you all so much.

– Neville and Denise Odell

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President's Report

Annual General Meeting 2020/2021

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believe that the 2020/21 season has been another stellar period in the Club’s continued quest for excellence.

As with all clubs, maintaining and growing membership is crucial not only to our prosperity but indeed survival. Sorrento emerged well from the Covid-19 closures with an overall membership of 814, including 256 registered bowlers.

Marketing strategies are essential for membership success. As well as membership drives, we are involving social media such as Facebook to target the younger demographic.

Bowling Performance During the 2020/21 season Sorrento fielded 23 Pennant divisions of men and women. We never forfeited a game and achieved great success that included: • Promotion to Men’s 1 White Saturday • Promotion to Men’s 2 Blue Saturday • Promotion to Women’s 1 Blue Saturday • Competing in the Premier Division and other playoffs • Retaining Premier Divisions for both the men and women.

Sorrento had no demotions for Tuesday and Saturday Pennants but did experience some demotions on Thursdays. This is understandable when our Club fields so many divisions and supports so many players.

On many occasions Sorrento’s 8th, 9th and 10th ranked sides were competing against the 3rd and 4th sides of other clubs.

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Sorrento was a strong supporter of State Championships, not only by making its greens available but by fielding a strong contingent of competitors with 128 competition entries. The Club performed exceptionally well winning the: • Men’s State Pairs • Men’s Over 60s State Triples • Men’s Over 60 State Singles • Women’s Over 60s State Pairs In addition, Sorrento players were: • Runners up in the Men’s State Pairs • Quarter finalists in both the Men’s and Women’s State Triples • Two Players finished in the top 20 BWA rankings.

Croquet Membership remains static at 27. Club Captain Kerry Bomford and her team have been positive in encouraging new members to the Croquet Courts.

Capital Investment We invest significant resources for capital investment to maintain and improve our clubhouse, five grass greens, one croquet court and club surrounds. Our usual annual capital investment spend is between $60,000 and $80,000. During the 2020/21 season Sorrento continued to replace furniture and equipment; replaced the rubbers on three greens; made improvements to the Club’s café with the purchase of a commercial dishwasher ($10,000) and extremely popular contemporary coffee vending machine ($10,000). The Club installed non-slip treatment, extended asphalt pathways, replaced computers, upgraded its computer systems, technology platforms and CCTV security. Greens’ renovations and maintenance costs were an additional expense funded from our maintenance budget.

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Communication Communication with members and key stakeholders is an ongoing and important component of running a successful bowling club.

This is an area that requires considerable expertise and resources.

The Club operates a comprehensive Communication and Marketing Strategy that considers the Club’s key messages, its audience and the best communication channels.

In addition, we produce high quality 64-page quarterly magazines.

Printed copies are available as well as online via our website. Our monthly and weekly e-Newsletters are also proving to be extremely popular and ensure that our members are advised about forth coming events. These communication channels are supplemented by regular emails, notice board and personal announcements and face-to-face contact with Governing Council and committee members. Sorrento uses Facebook and Mail chimp platforms to communicate digitally with members.

Financials The Club’s financial statements and notes comply with the Accounting Standards as explained in the financial statements as presented. The Clubs financial statements including the notes to the accounts give a true and fair view of the Clubs financial position as at 30 April 2021.

Bar and Club Management The Bar performed extremely well during 2020/21. Bar sales of $522,432 were up from last financial despite the impact of the Club's Covid -19 closures. Congratulations to Bar Manager Ian and his staff for maintaining an extremely high level of work ethic and professionalism in the performance of their duties.

Volunteers Volunteers are the lifeblood of any successful club and is an area

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Contact Joseph Williams on (08) 97226742 www.connecthearing.co.au

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where Sorrento has particular focus. Our Volunteer Plan sets out a process for the recruitment, training, rewarding, and recognising our volunteers. Sorrento has about 120 regular volunteers, representing 12% of our members. This is an impressive number of volunteers who contributed over 17,000 hours in 2020.

Duty of Care Duty of Care is increasingly important for clubs. Sorrento embraces its responsibilities by undertaking annual independent audits for maintenance, general occupational health and safety. In addition, the Club maintains policies applicable to alcohol management, smoking, transport, healthy food and drink, member welfare, road safety, risk management and code of conduct.

Vibrancy is one of the most essential ingredients of a successful bowling club. Sorrento operates its bowls program six days per week, all year through. The Club serves an average of 100 meals from its café on Friday nights with often another 50 people within the clubhouse. Chase the Joker, meat raffles, regular entertainment and our numerous TVs and large screen ensures that all are entertained and the place exudes both friendship and excitement.

Overall, while the work of our Club is never over, I believe the Club has positioned itself well to maximise the opportunity and respond to the challenges that lie ahead, with 2020/21 and past years proving a solid foundation.

Conclusion In conclusion I would like to acknowledge the hard work undertaken by our Governing Council members; Office Manager, Pauline Marsden, Vice President of Sport and Participation, Trevor Orton, Vice President of Operations, Wayne Gray, Treasurer, Pat Dichiera and Director of Governance and Communication, Brian Lucas. All

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these people have incredible special individual talents and professionalism, and I would like to thank them for their commitment and contribution in making our club the “Best Bowling Club in Western Australia”. I would also like to thank you, the members, for making the GC’s job as interesting as it is. Stay Safe, Strong, and Wise – John Abercrombie

Men's Captain's Report

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n 8 May 2021 we held our second Trevors Carpet Invitation Men's Fours. It would have been our third time but last year the event was cancelled due to COVID 19. This year's event was a huge success with 38 teams – a total of 152 players.

I must point out that it was a great success because of the people that helped me so much.

First there was Trevor and Anne Orton. What a tremendous job they do in the running of these events. Thanks also to the members who helped to setup the flags and mats on every green. After watching the ladies organising their sponsored event, and even helping them out on the day, I was really impressed. I then approached the Ladies' Captain, Jan Cook and asked if they would help me with the catering for the Men's event and Jan's reply was "I will have to ask the Ladies". During the course of the day Jan saw me and said "Yes" we will help.

To be honest I could not thank them enough especially on the day. I received that many thanks for the way the whole day went and everyone showed their appreciation for the meal the ladies prepared for lunch.

To all the ladies that helped us on that day I appreciate everything you did for us.

In June 2020 I announced that my time was up at being Men's Captain but certain circumstances changed my mind. I was unhappy at the

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way the Club was being run especially the way things were heading and so I decided to stand for re election. This year I do not want to do a seventh year and I am now happy to pass the Captaincy over to Peter Flack. We need someone like Peter to be strong and stand up for all men bowlers and I know Peter will do a great job so best of luck Peter.

After 6 years it's all over for me and I would like to thank everyone who supported me because it was a pleasure for me to be your Captain.

– Regards John Godfrey

Getting to Know Our New Members

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uring his tenure as Chairman of Selectors, Rob Tozer said in regard to new bowlers joining Sorrento that it would be highly encouraging if our Club could attract “a few younger blokes”. “When I say younger blokes, you are looking at blokes less than 60 which is a pretty loose definition of younger,” Rob said at the time.

Well, in the 2021 Men’s Novice Singles championship the average age worked out to be 60.5 years. That’s pretty close to Rob’s mark but the most important aspect is that Sorrento is still attracting new bowlers when a lot of clubs are struggling just to maintain their numbers.

The six blokes pictured above are a diverse lot from varied backgrounds, but they all have interesting stories to tell. This is what they revealed.

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BARNEY FLEISER: Barney certainly knows about the boom times, firstly as the winner of this year’s Novice Singles championship and also in his work as a real estate agent. When it comes to drawing, the 56-year-old, by virtue of his 21-7 win over Gary Bayne in the final, proved he is just as efficient getting to the kitty as he is with a pen and a property contract. He reckons it’s a bit of a juggling act bowling while still yet to retire but results speak for themselves. Born in Johannesburg, where he went on to play first division rugby union for Parktown, He later lived in Durban, before moving to Australia in 2009. He also loves his cricket and on arriving in Perth coached junior sides, including the one of which his son was a member.

Barney’s lawn bowling has gone ahead in leaps and bounds, and this season he represented Sorrento in Pennants, mostly in the team skippered by Derry Ellis. As the winner of our Novice Singles, Barney qualified to represent Sorrento in the inter club championship final, at Morley and Osborne Park to determine who is the best fledgling bowler in Perth. But things didn’t exactly go Barney’s way in the final.

Having never before played on an artificial surface, Barney lucklessly found himself drawn against the bowler representing North Beach.

You can’t win them all.

GARY BAYNE: Under the persistent persuasion of Roger Palmer, whom he has known for 40 years, Gary fortunately decided to come down to Sorrento to try his hand at bowls.

Gary may not have won the Novice Singles final against Barney Fleiser, but getting into the final decider was no mean feat and augurs well for his foray into the sport.

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Born in Broken Hill and completing an apprenticeship, Gary later decided to move to Perth for six months, but ended up staying for 45 years. Now aged 68, Gary spent most of his working life with the Water Corporation, ensuring the six treatment plants around Perth were operating efficiently. He is adamant, almost to the point of indignation, that his work involved ground water plants and not sewerage treatment plants – and who could blame him for that.

There’s no disputing Gary’s bowls flourished this season and it’s no coincidence that happened under the careful watch of his Skip Barry Bradshaw.

GREG CLEMENTS: Greg, at the age of 69, makes it quite clear he doesn’t rue the decision to swap his golf clubs for a set of lawn bowls. After trying to hit a little white ball as far away from him as he possibly could at the Joondalup Resort and Mt Lawley golf clubs, he is now hell bent on getting as close to another little white ball as he possibly can at the Sorrento Bowling Club. And, as an entrant in the Club’s Novice Singles championship, he is making a pretty good fist of his new sport.

After a career in banking, Greg has given a pretty good account of himself since joining Sorrento and picking up a bowl for the first time two years ago. He oozes confidence, especially since switching to a stick, and describes Sorrento as “a beautiful set-up and like being in paradise.”

Greg’s decision to switch to a stick was made after he decided bowling in a conventional manner was doing his knees and hips no good whatsoever. In fact, so rapidly and adept has he become with his new “delivery weapon” that Greg entered the Novice Singles championship

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More "Around our Club" Jan Cook ready to start her umpiring duties for the State Over 60s Mixed Pairs.

Pauline Bourne and Liz Marshall on the train back from Dudley Park with a Round prize in their pockets.

"The Young and the Old" – Abba encouraging young Mason Brian and Joan Self from their Facebook page

A beautiful photo from Ian and Chloe's wedding 20

Ray and Maureen Green

with only 10 day’s experience with it under his belt.

He reckons that he could have almost knocked off Barney in their elimination game had his opponent not resorted to the dastardly tactic of setting very long ends.

And few members of our club can boast of once having lived at a such an exotic address as Greg. Having been born at Agra in India’s Golden Triangle, Greg’s family mail used to be delivered to 44 Taj Road.

ERIC DOUST: Throwing away his alarm clock and giving up fishing has meant Eric Doust has a whole lot more time for bowling. Joining Sorrento six months ago after a bit of prodding from Jaffa, Eric has done well enough to give himself the confidence to have a crack at the Novice Singles.

And having the time to do that is a real luxury for the 65-year-old former train driver. Back when he was rolling up and down the tracks for 43 years, Eric was a slave to his alarm clock. Beginning as a trainee on freight trains out of the Narrogin and later from Northam, Eric was eventually transferred to the suburban network driving diesel and then electric trains. Eric said he hardly started at the same time two days in a row and his sleep patterns were all over the place.

But now that is in the past, and the realisation being that all the fish had gone somewhere else by the time he threw in his line, Eric can now concentrate on his new passion which sometimes occupies up to four days of his week. In the season just gone Eric was of great assistance to the selectors by often filling in when gaps appeared in

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the lower grades. All the signals have now turned green for Eric and it’s all aboard for many more games with our Club.

MATT SHARRETT: If dogged determination is any indication Matt Sharrett is certain to build on the experience he gained by playing in the Novice Singles. Having joined our Club last year, Matt, now 50, has shown the same sort of willpower he developed as a youngster when he was a member of the State table tennis team and became proficient in Tai Chi. A member of the WA Police Force for 17 years, Matt’s life changed dramatically on the morning he was supposed to have begun a new job for a security company. Riding his motor bike to work that day four years ago, someone cut in front of him, causing Matt to fall onto the road in an accident he says “nearly took my right leg off.” He couldn’t walk unaided for two years but can now bowl without any assistance.

Matt is a most welcome addition and, as a “younger” bowler in the scheme of things, hopefully can contribute for many years to come.

ADRIAN ROSE: Put simply – Warwick’s loss is Sorrento’s gain. Up until recently, Adrian Rose’s involvement in bowls was at the neighbouring Warwick club’s community bowls evenings. But, as Adrian concedes, he got a bit sick of constantly being shuffled onto that club’s artificial-surface green. So, he decided, as he drove past on his way to work one day, to pop in and check out what Sorrento had to offer. Our five grass greens plus the friendly reception he received did the trick and Sorrento suddenly had another enthusiastic new member in its ranks.

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Adrian, because he still works Monday-Friday, has yet to play pennants and doesn’t want to give up the enjoyable golf he plays, with fellow Wanderers Club members at different courses each Saturday, just yet. But he can’t get enough of our 2x4x2 competitions and was brave enough to have a crack at this year’s Novice Singles championship.

He admits he is here for the long term, having received coaching from Brian Clausen, and when his work load eases, says Pennant bowls will definitely be on the agenda.

Born in Zimbabwe and later living in Cape Town, Adrian arrived in Perth in 2002 with very little knowledge of the city.

An accountant by profession, Adrian for eight years now has specialised in helping people negotiate the minefield of busted marriages.

His business is called "Amicable Divorce Settlements" and he tries to make it look simple by saying, “quite often couples still care for each other but just don’t want to live with each other.”

– Jim Woodward

Match Committee Report Men's Novice Singles Championship This was played in April and attracted a small but enthusiastic group of bowlers. The weather was brilliant and B green had been prepared to an excellent standard for the day. The early sectional games were well contested with some very good games and close scores. After all qualifying games had completed and scores tallied on a win/loss plus shots-up basis, the two players to move into the final were Barney Fleiser and Gary Bayne.

With both players in good form, all indications were for a very tight game. Barney started by putting down some extremely good draw bowls, not allowing Gary any room to get a foothold in early in the

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game. Mid-way through the game, Gary started to accumulate some shots and build momentum, however Barney did not lose focus and kept his good form going to end up winning 21-7. A fully deserved win by Barney who went on to play in the Champion of Champions Novice Singles. He was in a tough section and played some great bowls. He told us it was a great learning experience.

Easter Mixed Fours Carnival Our annual Easter Carnival was a great day with lots of chatter, banter and laughter was plentiful for this social yet competitive day.

Congratulations to the overall winners Bruce Eagles, Peter Flack, Robyn Van Mosseveld and Wendy Flack (pictured) and to the second placed team of Murray Hulbert, Brian Saul, Wendy Saul and Liz Marshall. A great day had by all!

Trevors Carpets Men's Invitation Day Our much-delayed second Trevors Carpets Men’s Fours was held in early May after having been postponed from last year due the Coronavirus. A full field of 38 teams of fours was registered despite a clash with the State Mixed Pairs Championship, assembled on a bright and sunny day. Players from as far afield as Dunsborough, and across the metropolitan area took part. Midweek heavy rain made the greens a little slow, but the removal of the need to wear COVID masks that day enhanced the enjoyment of the day enormously.

The format was two matches of 13 ends of fours, with two matches of

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3-bowl spilt pairs over lunch. With over $8,000 in prize money to be distributed there was fierce competition and only five teams achieved the maximum four possible wins. Therefore the first-to-fifth placings were decided between these five teams. Prize-winners were: • First: Don Leeson (Cambridge), David Opie (Cambridge), Sam Scott (Doubleview) and Chris Lander (Sorrento) [+37 shots] • Second: Jerome Clayton, Leo Mola, Jeff Post and Mark Douthie (North Beach) [+34 shots] • Third: Wes Nielsen (Joondalup), Mal Burton (Sorrento), Rhett Butler (Sorrento) and Dan Nichols (Bassendean) [+31] • Fourth: Peter Morgan (Sorrento), Brian Saul (Sorrento), Andy Elmer (Bassendean) and Shane Rixom (Sorrento) [+27 shots percentage 200%] • Fifth: Peter Ker, Stephen Patterson, Tom Mitchell and Anthony Williams (Manning) [+27shots percentage 179%] • Round 1: Graeme Winter, John O’Brien, Steven Appleton and Bob Gillian (Merriwa) [+ 16 shots] • Round 2: Dan Greig, Pat Dichiera, Ken Giles and Tony Sabatino (Sorrento) [+14 shots] • Round 3: Mark Thomas, Mark Potente, Ros Pringle and Arthur Bartlett (all Kalamunda) [+20 shots] • Round 4: Barry Stewart, Denis Croker, Peter Snow and Trevor Orton (Sorrento) [+14 shots] Congratulations to all winners and especially to Chris Lander who maintained his recent run of form, continuing on from his recent success as State Men’s Over 60’s Singles champion by also being a part of the winning team for this event. Chris was very gracious and thankful to the sponsors, volunteers and organisers when accepting his team’s prize. Finally special thanks to: • Ray Green from Trevors Carpets for his generous sponsorship.

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Trevors Carpets Men's Invitation Day The winning team of Don Leeson (Cambridge), David Opie (Cambridge), Sam Scott (Doubleview) and Chris Lander (Sorrento) with Maureen Green who presented the prizes

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Ray was unfortunately unable to attend the prize giving due to ill-health, but was represented by his wife Maureen • Pauline Marsden who ensured the list of teams was rigidly maintained and that all payments received and recorded • John Godfrey who was involved in advertising this event and ensuring the day went well

• Jan Cook's Catering team consisting of David from Melt Hub Catering who cooked, carved and served the meat, Cheryl Greig, Kaye Martin, Liz Marshall, Wendy Saul, Maureen Green, Jan Paniperis, Coral Smith, Shona Carter, Lee Leach, Jenni Lockwood, Anne Orton, Carmel Hyde, Lorraine Hyde Helen Teasdale and Pauline Bourne.

A huge thank you to all you amazing people for helping to make the day such a success. Unfortunately we could not get everyone into the above photo: • Lee Leach, Dan Greig, Neville Odell, Evan Cosh and Anne and Trevor Orton who managed the set-up and clean-up of the Club and grounds • Anne and Trevor Orton for maintaining the scoring records for the day

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• The greens staff who prepared the greens and surrounds for play.

Veterans Mixed Pairs Championship In mid April, 28 players took to the greens to play in this event. An enjoyable day was had by all on our well-maintained greens. With two games of 14 ends, one in the morning and one after lunch, our winners of the day were Denise and Neville Odell, with two wins and 25 shots up. Runners up were Bob Jeffs and Pauline Marsden with two wins and 22 shots up and third place went to Lorraine Hyde and Peter Snow with two wins and 14 shots up.

Men's Over 60s State Singles In this event Chris Lander's great draw play was a feature of his game. On all three days he regularly beat his opponents to the jack and when they knocked him off he just put the next bowl back there again.

In the final against Peter Cole both players took a few ends to adjust to the conditions before Lander began to hone in on the jack with regularity. He proved far too good for Peter and went on to win 21-10.

Women's Dash for Cash In April we saw a fabulous day of bowls with our inaugural Women's Dash for Cash, proudly sponsored by Safeway Security Screens.

Thank you to all players for following our guidelines to adhere to government restrictions in place.

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Congratulations to the Sorrento team of Barbara Lorencs, Pauline Marsden, Wendy Flack and Charmain Harris with sponsor and fellow member Barry Bradshaw – all socially distancing who took out third place. Well done to the organisers who managed to pull together the event within restrictions under such short notice, and to all those who took part.

Women’s Handicap Triples In May we played the last Women’s Championship for the season.

This event is probably the most popular on our Calendar bringing in thirty entries giving us 10 teams. It is a pleasure for all ladies involved being able to play with different people from other divisions. A points system was used to determine selection and to make all teams equal.

It was a beautiful day and the greens were in good condition, we played two games of 15 ends, one in the morning and one after lunch. Winners were Pauline Bourne, Shona Carter and Denise Odell

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• Second: Charmain Harris, Cheryl Greig and June Gregory • Third: Pauline Marsden, Shirley Palmer and Sandra Minette • Fourth: Lorraine Hyde, Glen Larcombe and Liz Marshall.

We would like to thank our Sponsor for the day Dickies Trees who donated towards our prize money for the event. This enabled us to award prizes to four of the 10 teams. I feel sure everyone enjoyed their day on the green and will all look forward to doing it again next season.

Women's Champion of Champions Singles Pauline Bourne drew a tough section and had to wait on the outcome of the final game between her opponents, eventually missing out on progressing to the knock outs. Jennifer Page won her section in the Novice Singles and her first knock out to progress to the quarter final.

Unfortunately, despite some great bowling, she went down in that game 16-17.

Men's Dash for Cash June 2021 The coldest morning in five years did not deter the 26 teams who turned out for the second Dash for Cash for 2021, sponsored again

by Safeway Security Screens. Unfortunately, in May the first Dash for Cash had to be cancelled due to poor weather. The men’s Dash for Cash has been held up to four times each year for 10 years and has become well-established as a very popular event on the off-season bowling calendar. Four rounds of 11 ends are played with a soup and a roll lunch provided by our team of volunteers. This was very welcome, especially so on Saturday which enabled some thawing of cold bowlers.

Prize money was again well distributed, with the winners as listed below:1st M Sweeney, J Post, S Richards and A Zis (4 wins + 33)

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2nd 3rd 4th Am Pm Rd Rd 2 Rd3 Rd 4

K McIlroy, R Moyle, M Hansen and R Castledine (4 wins + 1) P Walker, M Sharrett, J Konig and F Tyson (3 wins + 16) B Fullagar, J Carlsen, I Watson and M Dragicevich (3 + 29) P Knight, R Rogers, B Owen and J Godfrey (2 wins + 19) B Stewart, P Snow, D Nicholls and M Burton (2 wins + 26) J Sturk, R Hill, K Cooper and A Gallagher (+9 shots) D McKenzie, D Bird, G Shennen and D Hartzer (+13 shots) P Flack, B Saul, S van Mosseveld and P Morgan (+ 14 shots) J Brown, R Bone, B Kiely and M Carrigy (+ 12 shots)

Thanks to Trevor Orton, Dan Greig and Paul Doherty for organising another well-run event, Anne Orton for her help with the scoring and the ladies who catered wonderfully for morning tea and lunch.

(Pictured on the cover.) But of course our particular gratitude to Barry Bradshaw’s Safeway Security Screens for their on going sponsorship of Dash for Cash events. The next scheduled is on Saturday 31 July.

Grandparents’ Answering Machine Message Good morning. At present we are not at home, but please choose from one of these options: • If you are one of our children, dial one and then select the option from one to five, in order of your birth date so we know who it is.

• If you need us to stay with the children, press two.

• If you want to borrow the car, press three.

• If you want us to wash your clothes and do ironing, press four.

• If you want the grandchildren to sleep here tonight, press five.

• If you want us to pick up the kids at school, press six.

• If you want us to prepare a meal for Sunday or to have it delivered to your home, press seven.

• If you want to come to eat here, press eight.

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• If you need money, press nine.

• If you are going to invite us to dinner or take us to the theatre, start talking, we are listening!

Answers to Quiz in June Quarter magazine 1.How many suburbs make up Sorrento’s membership? Have a guess!

Is it: 1-10, 11-20, 21-40, 41-60, 60-80 or more than 80?

How did you go guessing the number of suburbs that our members come from? Well, you may be surprised to learn that our members come from 82 different suburbs. However most of our members come from Duncraig 28%, Sorrento 10%, Hillarys 8%, Kingsley 5%,Carine 4%, Greenwood 3%, Padbury 3% and Kallaroo 3%.

2.What are the ten things that you can wear on your feet beginning with the letter "S"?

Shoes, socks., sandals, sneakers, slippers, skis, skates, snowshoes, stockings, stilettos, soccer boots, sand shoes and stilts 3. What is the only vegetable or fruit that is never sold frozen, canned, processed or cooked in any other form except fresh? Lettuce 4.What is missing from the photo alongside? Two glasses of wine 5.Which is the one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends? Boxing Well done to Monique Kopec who was the winner of the bottle of wine and the $30 bar voucher. Alan Walton and Ron Roger's were a very close second. Thanks to all who took the time to answer our quiz.

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Women's Inter-Region Round Robin

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he event was held at Willetton Bowling Club in mid April.

Representing Sorrento in the Northern Region were Lee Leach, Pauline Bourne, Liz Marshall, Coral Smith and Wendy Saul, with Shona Carter L-R: Pauline Bourne, Liz Marshall, and Robin Woodward Coral Smith, Lee Leach, Wendy Saul, going as reserves. Region Robyn Woodward and Shona Carter Managers acted as selectors for their teams, so our players were mixed into other teams.

After two games of 18 ends on the Saturday, and another game of 18 ends on Sunday morning, the All Stars teams were selected to play in a final game. Congratulations to Lee Leach and Liz Marshall who were both selected in the Northern Region All Stars team.

The final results were a win to South Coastal Region for both the Round Robin and the All Stars competitions, Northern Region coming in second over the two days by just seven points.

– Shona Carter

Gripes/Moans/Groans/Whinges/Complaints

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ver the last few months we have been accumulating gripes, moans, groans, whinges and complaints from members. Here are some of them:

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• Why are pop sticks not drawn to decide who play with whom for all social bowls? Editor's Comment: Variety is the spice of life. While some members love pop sticks, others do not. A pop stick draw often results in unbalanced teams and a lot of pushing and angst as bowlers try and get the pop stick they require. It is embarrassing, especially for visitors, to see the scramble for the preferred pop stick. Ken Giles was scared to hold the pop sticks plastic container for fear of getting his fingers broken in the rush.

• Why in some events are teams drawn by the Match Committee.

Pop sticks is better and fairer? Editor's Comment: It is a question of motive. What is more important, having a good tussle or winning in a one-sided game. Drawing results in fewer one-sided games. It also ensures that players generally play in their best position; lead, third or skip.

• Why am I always playing in a four when the event is advertised as “drawn triples? Editor's Comment: We accommodate all players, if possible, in a social game, which sometimes means uneven numbers and matches where three players are playing a four. Every attempt is made to avoid this situation, and no record of you having played in a four is maintained. If you feel you are being unfairly treated, talk to the match committee.

• Why am I in the same team as my wife? Editor's Comment: No one else is prepared to play with you and by the way your wife has made the same complaint.

• Why am I playing on the same green again? Editor's Comment: It is usually the luck of the draw. Allocation of the greens is done by our green keepers and depends on all sorts of considerations.

Your preferences cannot always be considered when these deci-

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sions are made. And besides if you always play on the same green you should have a home ground advantage.

• Why in most events are the winners decided on ends won and not shots up? We are the only club that does this! Editor's Comment: This prevents a team that has won a few ends with a high number of shots from dominating the balance of the game.

Other clubs have also found counting ends to be a more popular and equitable method. Some events, particularly multi round events are decided on wins, then shots up.

• How do they determine the number of points awarded in an “ends” competition? Editor's Comment: The winners in shots up are awarded four points plus one point for every end won. If there is a tie, then “bonus” points are awarded if the team achieves four or more shots on an end. If there is still a tie, then the percentage of the shots difference is calculated. The lowest shots “against” is always the winner. If there is still a tie, then prize money is shared.

• Why do we take $6 out of the $10 entry fee for green fees? Several clubs pay out the full entry fee as prizes?. Editor's Comment: The annual cost to maintain our greens is around $200,000. This must be funded somehow. Green fees contribute towards this cost. Raffles are often conducted to supplement prize money, with 50% of the money collected added to the bowls prize money. Bar vouchers are also offered as additional prizes for some events.

• Why do we play sectional play in our Club Championships?

Editor’s comment: In the Singles event there is automatically a marker. The other advantage is every player gets at least two games. A knock out event with a “plate” causes problems as some bowlers pull out when they lose their first game causing disruption. In sectional play most of the entrants are knocked out on the

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first day which reduces the time commitment of most bowlers and also makes follow on matches easier to schedule. Also, all State events are played as sectional.

• Why is prize money so small in “named” or sponsored events?

Editor's Comment: Only 15% of sponsors funds given to our Club is allocated as prize money for named events. This means that only around $2,000 is available across all 12 named events on our calendar, resulting in around $100 - $200 per event. Some events such as Dash for Cash and Trevors Carpets events have “quarantined” sponsors funds which are totally allocated to their events.

• Why was there no one from our Governing Council present during the important Trevor Carpets Invitation Day? Editor's Comment: Literally a short sighted view. Our Vice President (Sport and Participation) and our Treasurer, both members of the GC were playing in this event and our President was there as well!

Eyes On is one of our sponsors.

• When I buy stubbies from the bottle shop, they cost me about $2 each. Why do I have to pay $5 to buy a stubbie at our Club?

Editor's Comment: Try asking the bottle shop if it is OK to sit on their step and drink your stubby. On top of the cost of the stubbie is the cost of cold storage, refrigeration, lighting, cleaning, rent and staff wages. Our bar profits are also an important source of revenue for our Club. Ensuring that our bar runs profitability has ensured we remain financial. It has also allowed the Club to build up a surplus to help fund maintenance and other projects like our existing greens and the new synthetic green.

• Why are “fast” greens not always available for roll ups? Editor's

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Comment: Sorrento’s grass greens are arguably among the most used of any club in Perth. The greenkeepers’ primary duty is to ensure that our greens are sustainable, and at times prepared for prestigious state or club events. We have seen in past years what happens when they have been excessively scalped to get faster speeds. Fast greens are not always possible due to watering, spraying and fertilising considerations. Green rotation is also important.

• Why are our Selectors so inconsistent? Some bowlers lose their spot if they miss a game whereas others go straight back into their previous position. Editor's Comment: Who would want to be a selector. It is an incredibly challenging and difficult role, particularly trying to keep teams together when we have up to 25 players unavailable each week, and over 100 bowlers to place in teams each Pennant day. This task is exaggerated when bowlers pull out at short notice. In the last Pennant season, we had 12 bowlers ring in on one Thursday morning to advise that they were unavailable. It would be great if you volunteered to be on this important committee.

• Why do I have a different Pennant team each week? I had six different Thirds and five different Leads! Editor's Comment: As said earlier, with up to 25 players being unavailable each game and some pulling out at the last moment, a domino effect is created that ripples through all divisions. If one person withdraws from the top side, up to ten changes can be required. Try calculating the number of changes necessary when 25 players are unavailable.

In addition, bowlers will often request a change when they are selected to play with grumpy, difficult and impossible players!

• Why do we not always have several bar staff to serve drinks? I recently had to wait almost five minutes to get my pint of beer.

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Editor's Comment: Wow! Five minutes. No wonder you became impatient. Question: how long would it take three staff to serve 60 players who came off the green at the same time plus say 15 people who were not playing? Five minutes? Bar staff numbers are limited by our two tills but I am sure you will agree that they work extremely hard. We are also lucky to have several volunteers who help when there is a rush.

• Why do some people complain all the time? Editor's Comment: Perhaps it takes less energy to blame those who are donating their time and energy on the Club’s behalf than it does to be involved in constructive and thoughtful conversation.

If you have these or similar issues to these, or have suggestions for improvement, the most effective way of progressing them is to speak to the correct people in our Club that can handle these immediately.

In the front entrance there is a new organisation chart that shows who handles what. Please familiarise yourself with this and explain your problem or suggestion to the correct person. You will notice that there are several unfilled positions, most of which are “appointed” positions crying out for an interested person to express interest. If your issue √ Is with the game format, speak to the Match Committee. √ Is with the greens, speak to the Greens Committee Chair. √ Is with bar prices, speak to the Vice President (Operations) √ Is with Pennant selection, speak to the Selectors. √ Is sports related but not Match or Pennants, speak to the VicePresident (Sports and Participation) If you are a social member with an issue or suggestion, please speak to the Vice President (Sports and Participation)

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So always remember if you are unhappy with how things are going you can always volunteer to be on a committee and change how things are done in our Club and also please stop bugging our President with all your issues! Go to the person responsible!

– Neville Odell

Sponsor’s Corner

S

ilvio Borraccino our newest sponsor, has been in the solar power business for more than 30 years and has an intricate knowledge of solar power. e-solar will advise on residential, commercial and covers both city and country living. Should you currently have some form of solar, Silvio and staff will attend to any maintenance requirements you may have with the regular servicing of your systems. If you are contemplating the use of a solar solution be it for housing, caravanning etc, have a look at their website esolar.com.au. Their office is conveniently located on Canham Way Greenwood and Silvio is available to discuss your particular needs We have a quite a range of sponsors that year after year support our club with a chunk of their support going to the prize money we all so eagerly try to win.

Our list of sponsors is extensive with solutions to fix that aching knee to home renovations, plumbing support, fix your car (that may have accidentally lent against a post) or just expert servicing. We have

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painters, tree loppers, super markets, jewellers and people to lay that new carpet in the hallway (the one you have been meaning to replace for some time).

It is important to remember these people for the services provide.

They deem Sorrento important enough to put their funds up to support our Club. They understand there will be reasons for us to use someone else but they will appreciate the opportunity to quote on your particular requirement.

Having said all this, a big thank you to all members that have used our sponsors services in the past. I know the numbers of members supporting our sponsors is considerable. If you are satisfied with a job well done let me know as endorsements are welcomed by these people as a means to gauge the worth of their support.

– Barry Stewart

Sorrento does well in Australian Open

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n June, nine of our bowlers played in the 2021 Australian Open and did very well in a number of the events. Results were as follows:

• Shane Rixom and Peter Flack both won their in their singles sections but both were defeated in the knock-out rounds.

• Shane and Peter with Rick Munt and Sean Niven won their fours section and first knock-out, going down in the next round.

• Shane and Sean combined in the pairs, making it through sectional and two knock-out rounds to the final 32. A great effort!

• Coral Smith and Jan Power-Tuke played off in their singles section with Coral taking the honours.

• Jan and her composite team then drew Wendy Flack’s composite team in the fours sectional and came away with a solid win.

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• In a tough singles section, Pauline Bourne won two of her games (including one against a current Australian rep), going down in the other game to a former Australian rep by just one shot, narrowly missing out on winning her section.

• Wendy and her teammate made it through to the final 32 in the open pairs, going down 15-13 on the final end.

• In the Women’s Over 60’s Pairs there were 84 teams in 21 sections. Lee Leach and Coral Smith did very well. They won their section and their knock out games and progressed to the last eight. Their Queensland opponents, the reigning champions, took charge of the game straight away and were eight shots up before Coral and Lee came into the game with a two shot end. They fought on to the last end going down 21/12.

Well done and congratulations to all nine Sorrento bowlers. You did us proud!

Croquet Report Social Events Croquet enjoyed a quarterly social lunch at the Kingsley Tavern in April, which was attended by most of the players, their partners, friends and a few past members.

The next lunch will be held at the Club in July. The monthly “Visitors’ Day” has been suspended during winter as the weather is rather unpredictable during this season. We look forward to resuming these days in early Spring.

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Competitions The Nedlands “C” Grade Golf Croquet Singles competition was held in May with Jan and Terry Craddock; and Jenny Wilmot and Cheryl Saul representing Sorrento.

Terry Craddock played in the finals and took out 2nd place. Pictured alongside receiving his prize from Sandy Boon.

Over the weekend of 12 and 13 June, the annual “Gosnells 12” Golf Croquet Competition was held with Lorraine Bates and Di McGivern; Jan and Terry Craddock; and Jenny Wilmot and Cheryl Saul representing Sorrento. Our teams were placed in 3rd, 5th and 8th positions respectively. The friendly competition and excellent catering made for a most enjoyable weekend of croquet.

The next weekend saw us holding an internal competition – “Masters and Apprentices” – to try to encourage new members to experience competitive play and gain confidence in their ability to try playing in competitions against other Croquetwest clubs. The “Masters” were those members who had played for more than two years; whereas the “Apprentices” were our newer members.

The competition was won by Sandy Boon (an “A” Grade player in Association Croquet) and Steve West. The runners up were Di

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McGivern and Rose Gannaway. The Croquet Committee is planning to hold similar “fun” competitions once a month.

Coaching Regular coaching sessions are now being held every Tuesday afternoon and Thursday morning so as to allow most members to attend.

The sessions focus on only one particular shot each week. So far these have proved to be popular with members who are all striving to keep improving on their games (including the coaches themselves!)

Other Events The City of Joondalup held a “Defibrillator Awareness Session” and Terry and Jan Craddock, and Di McGivern attended on our behalf.

The course was conducted by Dave, a member of The St. John’s Ambulance team, and was very comprehensive and valuable. We were informed that there are now 5800 defibrillators posted at venues throughout WA. The locations of these can be found on the St. John’s First Responder App. together with lots more valuable information. It is recommended that everyone with a mobile phone should download the App. Special thanks The Croquet section offers a special vote of thanks to Wendy Flack for her time in setting up our Croquet Facebook Page; and for her continued support in maintaining it. Wendy has spent several hours with Kerry, going through administrative procedures, editing, and bringing the page up to date from time to time as needed. Also, she has agreed to be the backup administrator for the page, which is a great help. Please follow our page "Sorrento Croquet Club Western Australia"; and give it a “like”.

– Kerry Bomford

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Our Darts Club

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new seasons is underway and Sorrento has entered two sides in Blue Water and one side in Sports and Bowling Associations.

At our annual presentation lunch Margaret and Keith Cooper advised they would no longer be running the darts raffle. I would like to thank Dave Maunders, on behalf of all members, for stepping up to take on the role of organising and running the raffle with the assistance of a member each week and Brian Lucas for developing a raffle spreadsheet which simplifies the recording of monies raised each week including keeping running total for the permanent numbers.

Nominations and voting on Darts Club committee positions were postponed at the AGM and members will be notified after the June/ July COVID lock down on a date for a special meeting to elect committee members.

The annual Darts trip away was also postponed due to COVID and the rescheduling of the trip will be discussed at the special meeting.

Thanks go to Phil Webb who put in the effort to arrange the trip.

I would like to wish all players the best of luck in the following season.

– Wayne Grey

Now, this makes sense!

• • • •

The inventor of the treadmill died at the age of 54 The inventor of gymnastics died at the age of 57 The world body building champion died at the age of 41 The best footballer in the world, Maradona, died at the age of 60

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And then • The inventor of KFC died at 94 • The inventor of Nutella brand died at the age of 88 • Cigarette maker Winston died at the age of 102 • The inventor of opium died at the age of 116 in an earthquake️ How did doctors come to the conclusion that exercise prolongs life?

The rabbit is always jumping, but it lives for only 2 years. The turtle that doesn’t exercise at all, lives 100 years. So, have a drink, take a nap and if you wake up, have bacon and eggs!

– Michael Berecry

Answers to Who are these Youngsters The two youngsters on page 6 are Kevin and Jan Cook. Did you guess Correctly?

Great truths about growing old • Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.

• Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.

• When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.

• You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.

• It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.

• Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.

• Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

– Thanks to Barry Stewart for this useful information

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PS. Thanks to Alan Rolls, Mike Berecry, Spider Webb, Brian Lucas, Ian Wittber, Ray Stapledon, Barry Stewart and Trevor Orton who send us bits and pieces for our news magazine

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Interpreting a Skip’s Language — What their words of wisdom really mean

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kips love to make useful and useless comments that can be either very motivational or de-motivational. It is also difficult to interpret exactly what a Skipper means so the following guide has been prepared:

When a Skipper says ..

They actually mean!

“That was a good bad bowl”

“That was a bad bowl that has wicked off a short bowl and ended up taking the shot” “Just give me one in the head – we’re four down" “Lovely bowl, great green – pity it’s nowhere near the jack” “This time just concentrate, check your position on the mat, watch your bias, judge your weight, take plenty of grass, be up and remember to follow through” “Is there any chance you could play the same shot again?”

“You dropped your lipstick Gladys so you will need to blow and I’ll suck”

“That was a bad good bowl” “That was a good bowl – but ……”

“Don’t worry, you’ve got another one”

“How’s your memory?”

“You're three metres short”.

“That was a noisy one”

“You dumped it again you idiot.

Get your bottom closer to the green”

“If your Aunty had bowls, she’d be your uncle”

“That bowl is about as useful as a dead dingo’s donger”

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“You’re ending up in a good spot”

“Unfortunately, it is not where I asked you to put it”

“Good shot – we need one there”

“Actually, it was a bloody awful shot but I’m trying to encourage you” “Wobble occurs if the coaxial engraved rings of the bowl are not parallel with the direction of delivery”

“That was a bit of a pineapple”

How to Make a Woman Happy

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t's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be a friend, a companion, a lover, a brother, a father, a master, a chef, an electrician, a carpenter, a plumber, a mechanic, a decorator, a stylist, a sexologist, a gynaecologist, a psychologist, a pest exterminator, a psychiatrist, a healer, a good listener, an organizer, a good father, very clean, sympathetic, athletic, warm, attentive, gallant, intelligent, funny, creative, tender, strong, understanding, tolerant, prudent, ambitious, capable, courageous, determined, true, dependable, passionate, compassionate and WITHOUT FORGETTING to give her compliments regularly, love shopping, be honest, be very rich, not stress her out, not look at other girls AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself, give her lots of time, especially time for herself, give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes IT IS VERY IMPORTANT to never to forget birthdays, anniversaries and arrangements she makes.

– Thanks to Spider Webb for this useful bit of information

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The Ups and Downs of Umpiring

D

id you know that the 1987-88 WA Ladies Bowling Association Fixture Book specified that ladies frocks had to be not more than 15inches (38cm) from the ground? There was a special device for measuring and ensuring compliance. Moira Dean has written this delightful poem about this important rule:

Oh, she thought with eyes a glitter, Had she ever felt fitter!!

Today she would bowl in Pennants no less.

Reserve in 3 Red she had got a spot.

The sun was shining, she felt so hot!

Her petticoat double fronted she wore...

It was a bother and a bore, Her dress she thought was big and staid.

So, onto it she sewed some braid.

Bobble Sox made her shoes look modern.

No jewellery could she wear!

She even checked her facial hair!

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On her head her hat was on, Off to the bowling club she sped.

Where she found the ladies in their prime All waiting in a line!

A FEARSOME umpire stood inside Come here she said, all stern and gruff, You can’t wear that, it’s far too fancy.

Take off the braid and make it staid, Off the bobbles on the Sox, Put them there in that box.

That dress she said with a snort Is FAR too short.

Take down the hem before we start.

Her mates looked on, looking sad, But she O’boy was getting mad!

3 Red played one short that day.

Much to her team’s dismay.

Tennis club she joined next week.

Her skirt so short it made her squeekkkkkk Frilly knickers she did wear And played all day without a care.

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If Rudyard Kipling had been a Bowler If you can take the grass when all about you Are going thin and swearing at the green If you can draw the shot when all men doubt you And draw it through the smallest port you’ve seen.

If you can bear to see the shots that mattered Ruined by widths that fools may think are good Or see the head you gave your skills to – scattered And stoop and draw the shot without one word.

If you can drive, yet not be always driving If you can draw and still improve your score If through each game you always keep on striving To build each head better than before.

If you can force your Third and Lead and Second To fight and hold when all their strength is gone When hope is dead and grim defeat has bellowed And only you can make them “hold on”.

If you can mark all day and never worry Or play at Rinks nor lose your Singles touch If you can take your time and never hurry If all men play with you, but none too much.

If you can love each game as you begin it And – win or lose – still love it at the end Yours is the rink and everything that’s in it And, which is more; you’ll be a SKIP, my friend.

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The WCE and the "Sorrento" Connection

Roger and Shirley Palmer's grandsons (Isaac is 10 and Duke is 6) at the Eagles "Junior Clinic / Open Day". They were very excited to meet up with their hero Nic Naitainui

Another Eagles fan!

Unfortunately we could not get him and Nic together Left: Egon's grandchildren –Arielle, Darcy, Cuba, Sam, Zeke and Jed

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Did you know that Alan Gallagher's mother, Eileen Gallagher, celebrated her 100th birthday on 26 April at a celebration arranged

by West Coast Eagles? She was also recognised for her 34 years of membership of the Eagles. Meeting up with Nic Naitainui and Elliot Yeo was a surprise for her and it ended up as a great and special day for Eileen.

Alan and Maureen Gallagher with Elliot Yeo at Eileen's 100TH BIRTHDAY

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Tribute to our Life Members

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eople who become involved in the administration a Club quickly realise that the task at hand is quite daunting and often stressful. With the ever-increasing compliance obligations, the breadth of Sorrento’s operations is no less complex than that of a commercial business, and arguably more difficult because we do not have the resources to hire labour and expertise beyond greens and bar, instead relying on the good will of volunteers.

Our hard-working and "priceless" volunteers, who generously contribute their time and energies over long-periods and put in meritorious and massive effort, are justifiably recognised as life members.

I dedicate this article to the wonderful contribution made by our life members over the years. Several are unfortunately no longer with us but their legacies live on. We pay tribute to: Arthur and Edna Stewart – Life Membership 1991 In 1976 Arthur was elected as our first President of what was then known as the Sorrento Sporting Club. He and his wife Edna worked tirelessly, as foundation members to get our Club established and operational. Arthur worked with the old Lands and Surveys Department and used his knowledge and contacts to ensure that Sorrento was well accommodated in establishing the Club’s lease with the then Shire of Wanneroo.

Bill Sheppard - Life Membership 1993 Bill was also a tireless worker as Secretary and who later in his life and for ten years served as the Club’s Welfare Officer. He would studiously visit the sick in their homes or hospital. Some commented that after being visited by Bill, who was also in poor health, felt a surge of determination to get better.

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Min Puller - Life Membership 1994 Min was one of our 1976 Foundation members and for many years served as Lady President, Chairman of Match Committee and Chairman of Selection.

She and her husband Alex gave a lot of their time to our Club and helped to make it "The Best in the West".

Ben Dinning - Life Membership 1996 In the 80s and 90s Ben was President, Deputy President, a Selector and Men’s Captain. He also enjoyed coaching new bowlers and then watching their progress. Nothing was a burden and he would help anyone. He told John Godfrey that his dream was that one day Sorrento would be the number one club in WA and he was right!

Bill Broun - Life Membership 2000 Bill was our Club Secretary from 1989 to 1991, Vice President in the early 1990s and then President before taking on many other roles in our Club. He is remembered as "one of the nicest guys you could meet". He did a lot for our Club and his efforts were always appreciated.

Des Bennett - Life Membership 2003 Des Bennett was a Club Treasurer (10 years) and on the Bar Committee for 12 years. He was always conscientious and worked long hours. Des was instrumental in getting E Green constructed which was subsequently named in his honour. He was a coach for seven years and helped many of us to be better bowlers.

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Joan Whitham - Life Membership 2005 For many years the lovely and hard-working Joan was on our Match, Selection and the Social Committees. Our kitchen is dedicated to Joan in recognition of the years that she and her helpers toiled preparing meals for events. Joan was always ably assisted by her husband Cedric who spent many hours washing dishes and cleaning.

Graeme Heard - Life Membership 2006 Graeme was one of our Foundation members, Graeme. This gentle soul was loved by all and was always known as “Heardie”. He is remembered for his many years serving as a Selector and working tirelessly to coach hundreds of bowlers. He and his wife Nellie did so much over many years and we thank them both.

Bill Leyland - Life Membership 2006 This “fine gentleman” was one of our original twelve Foundation members. Bill worked over many years to help establish our Club and he put in hard yards to construct A and B greens He was a part time greenkeeper and was also Club Secretary and our Welfare Officer. He and his wife May always loved our Club.

John Murphy - Life Membership 2006 Our dear friend John is also one of our Foundation members. Over many years he served as a Selector and was on the Bar and the Social Committees. For five years he was our Welfare Officer and members always appreciated his calls. John continues to volunteer by helping 58 out with our raffles.

Ian Wittber - Life Membership 2009 In the 36 years Ian has been a member, he has always been one of our most hard working and conscientious volunteers. He was our President for six years and then Secretary for seven and has served on the Selection, Social, Bar and Sponsorship Committees as well as newsletter editor. He has made a significant contribution to our Club.

Geoff Bloomfield - Life Membership 2009 Geoff was a “great leader” and was one of the unsung heroes of our Croquet Club. He set up the Croquet Club as part of the Bowling Club and was Captain for more than ten years. He always mentored and coached new members. As an expert coach and qualified referee, he also gave his services to Clubs throughout WA. Joan Napier - Life Membership 2010 This lovely and caring lady was 90 when she received recognition for her contribution to our Club.

Joan died recently having reached 100 years of age. Joan Napier was a national umpire and was Chairman of the Ladies Selection Committee. We thank her for her many years as a volunteer.

May Leyland - Life Membership 2010 Our dear friend May started bowling in 1979 and served the Club for many years in numerous capacities on the Match, Selection and Social Committees.

She also took on the role of Lady Captain, Lady Vice Captain and Welfare Officer. Hand in hand with husband Bill, they made a selfless contribution to our Club.

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Charlie Beggs - Life Membership 2012 Charlie joined in 1986 and quickly became known as “the man behind the bar”, volunteering to open the bar on Saturdays and Sundays, year after year.

His task became more meritorious when he moved to Ridgewood and would have to catch a bus for his early openings. Charlie also served for many years on the Match, Greens and Social committees.

Brian Lucas - Life Membership 2013 We were lucky, 36 years ago, when Brian joined our Club. He has always, and continues, to make a significant contribution to our on going success.

His clear and knowledgeable strategic thinking provided clear direction for our Club and this led to Sorrento winning numerous awards and being acknowledged as “the best bowling club in WA”.

Ian Marshall - Life Membership 2014 Ian joined in 2003 and was our President from 2006 to 2011. As one of our priceless volunteers he was on our Match, Bar and Social committees as well as Bowls WA committees He has a strong commitment to Community bowls and for many years helped run the State Masters Singles. He has always been active in our Dart Club. Thank you Ian. Ron Taylor - Life Membership 2017 Ron joined Sorrento in 2002. At his first AGM, Ron joined the Match Committee and then served many years as Assistant Treasurer, Club Secretary and Chair of the Bar Committee. He still spends many hours volunteering at our Club. What a great member. Both his grandfather and his mother were Life Members60in their clubs

Graeme Whitehorn - Life Membership 2019 Our dear friend Graeme, another long term volunteer, joined Sorrento in 1992. He has had a long career as a bowls coach and for over 10 years was Secretary of the Bowls Committee. He was an active member on the Social Committee. In 1998 he produced our first newsletters. He was on the Northern Region Bowls Committee and the Metropolitan Bowls Council.

Wayne Gray - Life Membership 2019 For seven years, as Vice President of Operations, Wayne has overseen and brought to fruition a myriad of technical projects such as renovations and extensions, lighting and security upgrades and now the synthetic green project. His dedicated approach and technical skills have saved us large sums which we would have had to pay contractors and consultants.

John Abercrombie - Life Membership 2020 In the 22 years that ABBA has been a member he has made a major contribution to our on-going success. He is serving his seventh year as President and during this time we have been awarded “Bowls WA Club of the Year” or “Clubs WA Club of the Year” on six occasions. We are indeed lucky to have someone like him to get us through COVID-19.

At the recent AGM Trevor Orton was awarded life membership and we congratulate him on this well deserved acknowledgement of his contributions over many years.

A full report on this special event will be included in our next news magazine.

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Some More Photos from the Past The famous 2009 "erection" on B green and the crane that was required to dismantle it. To this day no one knows who was responsible for the building of this especially the inter locking of the benches Thanks to Ian Wittber for these photos from the past

A 2007 photo taken when the WA Governor visited our Club

John Collishaw, Graeme Heard, Dick Currie, Hans Correlje, Keith Cooper, Maureen Pass, Stan McCullough, Nellie Heard, (obscured-unknown), Beryl Tutt, Ken Giles, Helen Paterson, Clair Hanlon, Neville Odell, Ethel Smith, Marie Smart (Partly obscured), Del Cornwall, May Leyland, Ron Taylor, Unknown, Neil Adams, Jean Baker, John Forkin and Cal O'Donnell. It is a bit sad to see how many of our members in this photo) are no longer with us

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