CAREGIVER SUPPORT PROGRAM Emily, Caregiver Coordinator 406-259-5212
However Long & Hard the Road:
YOUR VICTORY AS A CAREGIVER By: Emily Jarvis, Adult Resource Alliance
Not long ago, I heard a reference to one of Winston Churchill’s speeches. As I understand it, it was his first after being appointed Prime Minister, during the first year of WWII. To quote Sir Churchill: “We have before us an ordeal of the most grievous kind. We have before us many, many long months of struggle and of suffering… You ask, what is our aim? I can answer in one word: Victory. Victory at all costs – Victory in spite of all terror – Victory, however long and hard the road may be, for without victory there is no survival.” This may seem like an unusual quote to share in an article dedicated to caregivers, but the caregivers in my life are the first people I thought of when I heard this. After all, caregivers are profoundly familiar with battles and loss. They know what it’s like to give everything they’ve got, often to the point of sheer depletion. The price paid is significant, but unlike a nation’s battle, theirs often go unnoticed and underappreciated. And the casualties are many: the loss of a life once known or once imagined, to say nothing of the loss of resources, sleep, time, or sometimes even sanity. They’ve got plenty to overcome, for living your life dedicated to the cause of another is no small pledge. In my opinion, it is an undertaking of greatest worth. With this is mind, I wish to write a message of encouragement to caregivers in the various stages of your journey. In doing so, I make no presumptions that I am authorized to speak on behalf of your personal walk on the long and winding road. But I do believe (and infinitely hope) that words of support, when offered sincerely, can help build a bridge when personal experience cannot. And, at this time, my words are what I can offer.
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APRIL / MAY 2022
THE BEGINNING: “VICTORY AT ALL COSTS” There are moments of quiet contemplation at the beginning of a long journey, where the weight of responsibility is heavy. Surely Winston Churchill felt this way. We wonder if the task that lies before us is possible, and if we have what it takes to rise to such an occasion. As a caregiver, you may find yourself back at the beginning of a long road far more often than not. From you, I’ve learned what dedication means as, day after day, you take that road with no hesitation. From you, I’ve learned what dedication means as you take that road with no hesitation, day after day. I find myself wondering if your definition of “victory” is something closer to just pushing through, and if “victory at all costs” means doing whatever you have to do, even at the cost of yourself. To clarify, victory has several different definitions. It doesn’t just mean an act of defeat, but also includes “achievement of mastery or success in a struggle or endeavor against odds or difficulties” (another definition found on Google). I do believe that victory is an endeavor. Wherever you’re at in your journey, I invite you to reconsider your definition of victory. I propose that it include not only your dedication to your loved one, but dedication to yourself. “Victory at all costs,” then, takes on a different meaning. Your caregiving journey becomes a quest for growth, which will likely be no easier, but remember, “without victory, there is no survival.”
THE MIDDLE: LET OTHERS WALK WITH YOU The middle of anyone’s journey requires sustenance. What sustains you on your journey is what matters most, as it contributes a great deal to your victory. Whether battles are large-scale or completely invisible, they
