Working Mama December 2022

OUR VISION

To help working moms live a more fulfilling, successful, and balanced life.

OUR MISSION

To inspire working moms to feel empowered in their careers and motherhood. To create more time in their days and build a sustainable life and business/career.

OUR VALUES

Embracing Diversity & Inclusion. Fostering an environment of collaboration across teams. Building meaningful connections. Building a culture of diverse perspectives and talents to support individual growth. www.workingmamaza.com

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HOLIDAY BURNOUT

By Elize Fisher

Burnout is characterized by desperation, extreme stress, and the inability to continue with scheduled activities. Those suffering from holiday burnout are often overwhelmed by the additional demands and expectations associated with preparing for and celebrating the holidays.But I wouldn’t change it for the world; mom is a title I’ll gladly wear alongside the bags under my eyes.

“Christmas time is by far the most stressful time of the year for moms. There are a million things to do- and you have to do them all perfectly, or else you will never forgive yourself and more importantly, neither will your kids” These are the words narrated by Amy Mitchell from the movie A Bad Moms Christmas. WHO CAN RELATE?

Holidays are supposed to be a time of joy and celebration, but the holiday season can be even more stressful for moms who are already overscheduled and stressed out. When you think there is nothing more to do on your to-do list, the holiday season surprises you with its sheer size. Party planning, shopping, decorating, house guests, and family get-togethers can cause even the most organised among us to panic during the holidays. It is also when people overlook their self-needs and ignore their mental well-being.

SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS OF HOLIDAY BURNOUT

• Frustration due to the holiday chores or activities

• Disruption in regular sleep-wake schedule

• Tremendous stress and anxiety levels

• Worrying about expenses

• Losing interest in things

• Feeling tired to socialise

• A disturbed digestive system

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If you feel that you are prone to holiday burnout, there are many things you can do to maintain your holiday spirit:

Tips to Prevent Holiday Burnout:

• Prioritise: It can be overwhelming to have so many things to do. Prioritising and organising help you determine what needs immediate attention and what can wait. When it comes to holidays, attending a limited number of events will not cause stress or exertion.

• Organise: Having a daily to-do list and mapping out your tasks can help you accomplish things more efficiently.

• Maintain a routine: Stick to your routine and be consistent after creating one. You’ll have more control over events and be able to avoid holiday pandemonium with this approach.

• Collaborate with others: On holiday, one should collaborate rather than try to manage everything alone. As a result, you have more mental room for genuine quiet and relaxation.

• Set boundaries: It’s crucial to be aware of your physical and mental limitations to avoid burnout. For your mental well-being, it is always best to learn to say “no” politely instead of trying to satisfy everyone by overextending yourself when on holiday.

• Retrospect your emotions: Pausing to assess your feelings can help you keep a tab on your highs and lows.

• Practice self-care: Self-care activities like napping, walking, working out, reading, painting, and napping are all crucial since they keep you calm and are beneficial for your brain’s health.

• Maintain your sleep schedule: After a long and strenuous day, getting enough rest and sleep is essential for your mind and body. Enough sleep allows your body to unwind, reduces weariness, boosts productivity, and enables you to recover.

References: Psychologs. 2019. Holiday Burnout is becoming a new mental health problem, how to prevent it [online]. Available from: https://www. psychologs.com/article/holidayburnout-is-becoming-a-new-mentalhealth-problem-how-to-prevent-it [accessed 02 December 2022].

Massage benefits you didn’t know.

By Jade Barends

Fortunately, by improving circulation, massage even helps with posture.

Considering the oldest form of health care is massage, it is only natural to opt for one. There are many reasons why people enjoy receiving a massage - but you might not realise that it has many other benefits. Since ancient times, humans have used herbs and nutrition to help heal their bodies, and massage is one method that can help circulation, recovery, and muscle development.

Let’s look at some benefits of massage you might not know, so you can convince yourself to spend a little extra time at the spa.

Massage Makes You Happy

A relaxing massage might have you smiling, but it is more beneficial than you might expect to boost your happiness. Often, massage therapy is included in therapeutic and rehabilitation sessions to promote emotional well-being and physical fitness.

Massage is detoxifying. It can remove toxins accumulated in the

We don’t do our bodies any good by spending hours typing on a keyboard. Too much time sitting can negatively affect our posture. Combining time at the office with time on the sofa ensures a dangerously sedentary lifestyle.

lymph nodes over time and clear out the lymph nodes.

It helps you sleep better. There’s a good reason you doze off on a massage table. Stress and pain are eliminated because of a relaxing massage, leaving you in a relaxed state and ready for sleep. Stress and general discomfort can otherwise keep you awake, so massage helps you drift off faster.

Why do you look beautiful after a massage?

Even if you don’t feel pretty at the end of a massage, know a massage can help you look radiant. Cellular turnover and circulation improve with a massage, supporting the growth of new skin cells to give you a fresher and younger appearance. How could anyone resist getting a massage more often?

Photo by cottonbro studio: https://www.pexels.com/photo/man-lying-on-blue-and-white-textile-3997989/

OUR BUSY LIVES AND HEALTHY FOOD CHOICES

By Elize Fisher

Given you’re a working mom means you are mindful of the importance of eating healthy. You ask yourself, “How am I supposed to fit the most suitable choices into my busy schedule when I’m exhausted and still I have to feed the family?”. Fortunately, there are many easy and quick, ways to prepare healthy foods at home. Despite a busy lifestyle, fast food isn’t necessary for every meal.

Making healthy food choices requires planning and knowledge of what to do.

MEAL PLANNING AND MEAL PREP

Meal planning is simple -- and it’s entirely relative to how many people you’re feeding, how many meals you want to plan, and what you like to eat. Make healthy alternatives to your family’s favorite unhealthy foods.

Some people plan each meal for the week including breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snacks. Others choose to only plan dinners. Once you decide how many meals you want to make, it’s time to sit down and plan. To do this, you just need to write down each day of the week and include whatever mealtimes you’re planning for. Try to choose meals that are healthy and that your family enjoys and are not overly difficult to make.

What exactly is meal prep? Some meal preppers make all their meals at the beginning of the week and store them in their fridges and freezers to use for the rest of the week. Others prep individual ingredients that can be used to make meals for the rest of the week.

There are no wrong answers here.

The main goal of meal prep is to make things easier for yourself for the remainder of the week. It saves time and energy, and it also helps avoid making unhealthy food choices.

You can do meal prep in several ways:

Prep Individual Ingredients

Batch Meals

Freezer Meals

Premade Meals

Another option is creating full meals at the beginning of the week that are completely cooked. These could include freezer meals or meals that are stored in the fridge and just need a reheat.

Choosing healthy foods becomes easier when you view mealtimes as a social experience. As a result, you no longer worry about rushing through it, making dinner an enjoyable experience.

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Bali Indonesia

By Nadia Horn

Authentic, traditional, Batik, Culture, Rice fields, Scuba Diving, luxurious beach resorts for kids, shopping, nightlife-these words and more describe Bali.

The areas renowned for beaches are the luxurious areas like Nusa Dua, where the fully inclusive meal concept applies, Seminyak, Gili Islands, and Kuta.

We start our journey with Nusa Dua, a relaxing, quiet, peaceful retreat. Nusa Dua is ideal for families and children.

Kids’ clubs and activities are in total supply at Nusa Dua. Nusa Dua is also ideal for honeymooners and couples.Ubud awaits further inland. Take a walk on the wild side of the famous Monkey Forest. There is no end to the rice paddies.

Shop at the Ubud market, kaftans, pashminas, bags, and savour restaurant food.Enjoy a relaxing Balinese massage after a day of shopping or sightseeing. Ubud is also known for its inland “Pool Clubs.” Pay for a day at one of the various “Pool Clubs.” Enjoy a meal, use the pool, and relax on pillows. Seminyak area is within walking distance from Kuta. Swim, shop, and at night visit Kuta for its nightlife.

Kuta the place where everything happens! Shopping, the beach, nightlife, and restaurants.Take a ferry from Bali Mainland to Gilli Trawangan Island. Unspoiled beaches. Authentic -bungalowtype accommodation and hotels. Scuba divers, snorkelers, and beach lovers, Gilli is for you. A typical day starts with an early morning walk, breakfast, a day on the beach, or an early morning snorkeling. Expedition. Rent a boat, and a local will drive you for your scuba diving excursions.

Day excursions abound on the Bali mainland; visit Uluwatu and Tanah Lot temples for sunsets and enjoy a dinner on Jimbaran beach. A full-day snorkeling catamaran excursion and lunch are always necessary when visiting Bali. There are many more to mention!

We combine 3 Nights of Ubud for relaxation and then Gilli and Kuta. Another itinerary is Ubud and Kuta or a relaxation package of Nusa Dua. Seminyak 7 nights too. Please ask. As moms, you can stay longer, no rush!

Travellers return refreshed and invigorated, and ready to take on the world!

Travel Advisor / Travel Agent Website: www.selenatravel.co.za

Photo by alleksana: https://www.pexels.com/photo/high-angle-shot-of-nusa-penida-island-in-indonesia-4239622/

RUNNING FOR THE MIND AND BODY:

Leatitia Gradwell’s Story

Leatitia Gradwell, mother of a 12-year-old and married to Heinrich Gradwell for 11 years. She is currently a Sales Administrator and owns a Christian Apparel business called Faith Forever Scripture Apparel, which she started during the lockdown. She aspires to improve her life and empower other women in the process. Her most significant achievements were starting her business and running her first marathon on 16 October 2022. Her favourite quote: “We rise by lifting others.”

At the age of thirty - nine, Leatitia was diagnosed with imbalanced hormones, which led to severe anxiety. She has been on chronic medication for seven years, which helped only to a certain extent because she still suffered anxiety attacks. Having dark days, as she describes, was when she felt like staying in bed and hiding from the world. Her mental state hurt her and took a toll on her family and friends. In her effort to protect her family from this faceless monster-Anxiety, she pretended to be okay while losing herself and falling deeper into the anxiety trap.

She felt like she was caught in this vicious cycle of anxiety and was fighting a losing battle.

In 2016 she accepted Jesus as her personal Lord and Saviour. In 2017 she was baptised but still suffered severe anxiety attacks. Years passed, and she learned to live with the anxiety and, with that, was dependent on the meds. It got so bad that she felt like she was losing her mind. Fasting and praying, she believed God for her deliverance in her darkest moments.

During the lockdown in 2020, she started running in her front yard in circles, starting out with 1 km and ending up doing 10 km by day 21 of the lockdown. It is when

Leatitia noticed that when she ran, she needed less medication and felt terrific. She stated: “I fell in love with running because it has helped me cope with my mental health.” By the end of 2021, she joined a running community called Adidas Runner. In May 2022, she entered her first race, Absa 10km, won a R20,000 prize for entering, and received running attire. In April 2022, Adidas ZA was looking for eleven ladies that never run a marathon before. She submitted an entry (a short video clip) to Adidas ZA. Her words she recalled were: “God

if this is your plan for my life, I will be part of this beautiful life-changing journey.” She was notified in July that she would be among the eleven women selected. Overjoyed by the news and still in disbelief, her life-changing journey started - Believing for a breakthrough when crossing the finish line at Cape Town Marathon.

Sponsored by Adidas ZA with everything she needed over the next 16 weeks, she also appeared on TV

and radio. Due to anxiety, her fear of public speaking was challenging to overcome. Thanks to the program Beyond My Impossible, she slowly overcame her fear of public speaking.

In October 2022, Leatitia celebrated her most outstanding achievement, which was three months free from medication. She claims that her running and faith in Christ got her off the medication. She further indicated how FREE she felt when speaking about anxiety on different platforms. Leatitia firmly believes that God has placed her on this path to help people suffering from mental illness. A word of encouragement to people suffering from Mental Illness:

health awareness is the ongoing effort to reduce the stigma around mental illness and mental health conditions by sharing our first-hand experiences. Because of misconceptions about mental health and fitness, people often suffer in silence, and their condition goes untreated. Speaking up helps so much; I can see what it has done for me.

SELF-CARE IS NOT SELFISH. IT’S NECESSARY

By Megan Goliath

HERE ARE A FEW SELF-CARE TIPS TO STAY MINDFUL DURING THE FESTIVE SEASON

Are you feeling that end-of-year fatigue? It is no surprise as we are approaching the festive season. As women, we have many roles, from being a mother, daughter, sister, wife, girlfriend, entrepreneur, leader, and so many more. You often get caught up in serving others and must remember to fill up your cup. Self-care is not selfish; it’s necessary, especially during a busy season, to promote a constantly “ on-the-go “ culture. Managing your time and energy during this time is essential to maintain balance and remain productive.

We’ve set up an essential self-care checklist just for you to remind yourself to be mindful or when you might need a reset:

1. Make time for yourself - You are the one that has to take care of you As a woman, getting caught up in work, home chores, taking care of your family, and neglecting your own needs is easy. However, it is essential to take time for yourself, even if it is only a few minutes a day. Take some time to do things you enjoy outside of work. This includes exercising, reading, walking, sleeping a little later than usual, reading a book, or anything that brings you joy.

2. Set healthy boundaries - You’re allowed to say “NO.”

You often feel guilty for saying no to parties or family gatherings, which is perfectly acceptable if you must prioritise rest and well-being. Setting healthy boundaries is essential to ensuring that you do not feel overwhelmed. Rest is also productive, and unplugging can help you feel recharged and revitalised.

3. Make sure you’re fuelling your mind, body, and soul - the constant “on-thego” can lead to burnout

The need to be constantly “on” often makes you feel tired, drained, or burnt out. As women with many roles, you are constantly under pressure to perform, meet deadlines and deliver results,

Photo by Monstera:

whether professionally or personally. Let’s face it; it always feels like you need to do something. That is why it is important to ensure that you take care of your holistic well-being by providing a healthy diet, getting enough sleep and simple movement or exercises, keeping hydrated, and managing your stress levels.

4. Surround yourself with loved ones - You are not alone on your journey Never underestimate the power of spending time with family or friends that love you, especially during this festive time. Stay connected and surround yourself with people that give you all the good vibes and make you feel good about yourself. Make sure you are communicating your needs and allowing for support.

You can restart, reset and refocus as often as you need to ensure that you’re fuelling yourself and maintaining your holistic well-being. I hope this festive season leaves you feeling loved, joyful, and fulfilled. Remember taking breaks are healthy, too, and you can’t pour from an empty cup.

May you have a beautiful Christmas and an abundant new year!

For more information on how to join the Femmove movement, connect with us on: Instagram: @femmove_ Website: www.femmove.com and Email: info@femmove.com.

Photo by August de Richelieu: https://www.pexels.com/photo/family-gathering-for-a-group-hug-4262424/

Photo by Elina Fairytale: https://www.pexels.com/photo/women-practicing-yoga-3822171/

‘Mom’aging Mental Health

By Lia Mundell

Maternity leave was not all coffee dates and newborn photo shoots like I thought it would be. It has been constant milk-stained shirts, pre-pregnancy jeans that still won’t fit, and many tears. The birth of my baby girl was as wonderful as the posts you see on Instagram – a beautiful pink baby with fuzzy strawberry-blonde hair Love at first sight. Everything I had ever wanted until I came home from the hospital. At two weeks old, my daughter is fussing and crying almost hourly. She isn’t picking up weight; to top it all off, my husband had to leave for a 3-week long work trip to Malaysia. So, I am home alone with two kids; a 10-yearold who needs help with homework and lifts to extra murals and a screaming infant who refuses to eat.

By sheer determination, I continued breastfeeding my baby and supplementing it with anti-reflux formula—This was something I hadn’t anticipated. I had breastfed my son seamlessly for 15 months and almost arrogantly assumed it would be the same for my daughter. I’m a planner, I like things to go according to how I plot them out and so don’t give up just yet and persevere, but it isn’t without constant anxiety and gut-wrenching guilt.

The one thing I love and am good at is my job, so I go back to work with the determination to make it as a working mom – the kind you see on Instagram.

On my first day, I manage half an hour working from home because I’m rocking a niggly baby and nagging my son to get his homework done before his 2 hours of screen time, which we never stick to.

So how do women do it? How do we preserve our mental health and raise our children without 1000 hours of screen time daily, while still trying to nurture our relationships with our partners, and succeed in our careers?

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Preserving mental health has never been more critical – and watching how someone else is killing their self-care routine is not the way. Carve out the space for yourself to switch off, inhale, and let it go.

HERE ARE A FEW TIPS:

DELETE YOUR SOCIAL MEDIA APPS

As women, we naturally compare ourselves to others, and we live in a digital world bombarded with what we think is perfection. It’s not. Delete the apps for a week and see how much good it does for your mind and your soul. We were not made to be carbon copies of overly filtered influencers.

TAKE A WALK AND BREATHE

Moving our limbs for the shortest time can help us commit to less exercise so that we can show up more in our jobs and lives. In a recent training session, I learned that oxygen affects the part of your brain that triggers anxiety, so we can calm ourselves down by just taking in more fresh air. Deep breaths can reduce stress, improve sleep, and even enhance cognitive functions. No excuse for not having time, breathing excises can be done sitting at your desk.

LET IT GO

Sometimes as women we tend to hold on to stuff, so letting go can be challenging for us. I recently stopped breastfeeding my baby girl because she had severe acid reflux. Although this wasn’t my fault, I still felt like such a failure when I had to stop. I took time to mourn my breastfeeding – I cried, hugged my husband, and made peace to let it go. I also realised that I am not without flaws, but to my kids, I am the best mom.

Photo by Kerde Severin:

POOGY TALES

by Tasneem Fatima

Tasneem Fatima is a spinal cord injury survivor and an Indian wheelchair basketball champion. She founded and currently serves as the president of the Delhi State Wheelchair Basketball Association, which promotes wheelchair basketball in India. A motivational speaker, she has been featured in numerous articles on Google. Besides being an alumna of Australia India Youth Dialogue, she has won many awards for her outstanding achievements in sports.

The debut author loves children and writing during the pandemic was a way for her to fulfill a part of her life purpose. She derives her inspiration from the quote by Friedrich Nietzsche - “What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger!”

What is the book about? POOGY TALES is a collection of five moral tales. It is a book meant for children over six years of age, designed in an entertaining drama format. (Excellent for bedtime). Using the dialogues written for each character, it is a fun and engaging children’s drama that family and friends can play. The book instills a sense of kindness, respect, and the importance of treating others how they’d like to be treated, among many other virtues. Its easy-to-read language and vivid illustrations make it an indispensable book.

What inspired you to write this book?

During the pandemic, I discovered that a part of my life purpose is to serve children in some way. I always wanted to write a book, so much consideration, I started writing moral stories for children. While writing this book, I faced innumerable challenges, wanting to give up along the way. It took me a whole year to complete this book, but it was all worth it in the end. I also became Amazon’s #1 Bestselling Children’s Book Author. Thanks to my mentor Jatin, who guided me and extended his support all this while.

“During the pandemic, I discovered that a part of my life purpose is to serve children in some way.”

What can people learn by reading your book?

The stories are designed to teach children some of the most important lessons of their lives at a young age without compromising on entertainment.

They emphasize seeking the help of the elders in times of difficulty and help children in dealing with complex emotions. Along with respecting people of all backgrounds and genders, children will also learn the value of kindness.

How has writing this book changed your life?

I always wanted to write a book, but I never thought that my first book would be Amazon’s #1 Bestselling Children’s Book in five categories. I am a perfectionist so creating this book was a complex process for me as I always found something that needed fixing. In my solitude and wanting to rid myself of perfectionism I realised I could publish and launch my book without focusing on imperfections and be grateful for my achievement. After the launch, the book changed my perspective on how I looked at the challenges I faced at the time of writing my book. This book kept me going during the pandemic. It gave me courage, hope, strength, and the power to overcome anything. Felt so proud after receiving feedback and reviews from children and people around. It has been a life-altering experience for me.

What words of wisdom would you like to give to aspiring authors?

If you have a passion for writing or reaching people through your writing, don’t give up. Have a mentor by your side to guide you. I hope that all aspiring authors be inspired by the challenges I faced writing my book. Don’t give up on your dreams, no matter what. I wish all aspiring authors a bright future ahead!

This book is available on amazon or click the link below https://amzn.to/3h7egs8

MINDSET 2.0

by Ayesha Siddiqa Haleema

Ayesha Siddiqa Haleema holds a Bachelors degree in B. ED in Economics and a Masters degree in Hospital Administration. She is qualified with Post Graduation diploma in Human Resource Management. She is currently, Pursuing a Diploma in Early Childhood Care and Education. With five years of experience in teaching, she served two years at Tumkur University as a Guest Faculty both for MBA and M.COM. She served at the HMS Institute of Technology for three years as Assistant Professor for MBA Department. She has also conducted training programs on Soft Skills and Personality Development in Various colleges. Presently, she is working as an Academic Director at NewBee Preschools.

Her Expertise includes HR, Marketing, Organizational Behavior, and Spreading Knowledge in Early Childhood Education. Her dream has been to work on a limitless platform, bringing different social groups together: children, working professionals, educators, and parents. Additionally, she is considered one of the most creative thinkers with a sound understanding of childhood education. She encourages students to develop skills and a winning attitude that ultimately changes how they view their life and career

What is the book about? Have you ever wondered what kind of mindset you possess? Are you in a situation of feeling stuck and having no idea what to do? Do you want to be the best version of yourself? Mindset 2.0 allows you to develop and discover your own mind’s potential. It will help you create miraculous future changes by reprogramming your

mind. You will find and utilize the true potential of your subconscious mind, wipe out the shadows of negativity from your mind and fill yourself with the positive energy required for a successful and abundant life. Mindset 2.0 is not a typical motivational or self-help book that pumps you up with some stories and theoretical ways to stay connected with a positive mindset. It is a book with a practical

step-by-step guide for reprogramming your mind and focusing on achieving your desired goal.

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What inspired you to write this book?

So many books have changed my life, and I have always wanted to inspire people with my thoughts. Words can heal people, and I always wished that my words should reach as many people as possible. This is a dream come because I always wanted to be an inspiration for people and help them to reach their destinations.

What can people learn by reading your book?

Mindset is a vast topic. In today’s scenario, we are pleasing others and bothered about what others think of us. We are losing ourselves in running behind in fulfilling the expectations of society. Mindset 2.0 will teach you how to be happy without pleasing others. My book will teach you how to master your destiny and find love for yourself. This book will make you meet the best version of yourself.

How has writing this book changed your life?

It changed my perspective on dealing with any situation in my life. Instead of being panicky and stressed, I can calm and relax and give work to my subconscious mind to get a clue of solutions from the power of the universe. It works so well in my life that I can quickly eliminate all negative people and thoughts without letting them affect my happiness and dreams.

What words of wisdom would you like to give to aspiring authors?

Just focus on your dreams and your gut instinct. Everything seems impossible, but if we decide and be focused, then all our dreams will give us wings to fly Just “you” is enough. Validate yourself and keep on moving.

BOOK RECOMMENDATIONS

POOGY TALES by Tasneem Fatima

POOGY TALES is about a little bear named Poogy who lives with his parents in Havenstown. Mother bear brought home an unexpected visitor, and Poogy is not thrilled about it.

This book is a collection of five moral tales. It is a book meant for children over six years of age. The book instills a sense of kindness, respect, and the importance of treating others well. It is easy-to-read language and vivid illustrations make it an indispensable book.

Amazon’s #1 Bestselling Children’s Book in five categories. This book is fun for bedtime as it is designed in an entertaining drama format, with dialogues written for each character. Throughout this vibrant story, the characters teach children to deal with complex emotions and ask for adult help when they experience times of difficulty.

Reviewed by Elize

MINDSET 2.0 by Ayesha Siddiqa Haleema

“Mindset 2.0 is your royal road to a total transformation in your life. This book is not a typical motivational or self-help book that pumps you up with some stories and theoretical ways to stay connected with a positive mindset. Mindset 2.0 is a book with a practical step-bystep guide for reprogramming your mind and focusing on achieving your desired goal.”

Do you ever wonder what kind of mindset you possess? Do you feel stuck and unsure of what to do? Would you like to be the best version of yourself? You are not alone. This book will help you develop and discover your mind’s potential. It will help you create incredible future changes by reprogramming your mind. With the help of this book, you will discover and utilise the true potential of your subconscious mind. You will get rid of the shadows of negativity in your mind and fill yourself with the positive energy you need to succeed and prosper.

Reviewed by Elize Fisher

Not the Storm of Jealousy.

By Nayan Rath

• Pangs of Jealousy make us angry and overpossessive.

• Partners cannot solve them because they are self-regulatory.

Jealousy isn’t necessarily a problem, but it might signify a problem within one of your relationships - Baland Jalal.

Abject jealousy is the thought of losing the affection of loved ones. It is hardwired in most of us in some way or the other. It can be dealt with by positive reinforcement once we recognise it and respond in a way that helps address our struggling problem. But the nightmare of insecure jealousy results in an override of emotions on logic. It makes us fiercely possessive and daringly aggressive. A small amount of jealousy can be helpful. But more of it ends up in toxic feelings and destructive behaviour.

The green-eyed monster of jealousy breeds suspicion and doubt. When there is mistrust, negative emotions snowball into apprehensions of betrayal. It is an obsession. You can’t stop thinking about incidents (real or imagined) which impair reality testing. If it persists for a long, it can lead to delusion.

Often, it is mistaken for envy. Envy is about things, a situation, or a position someone else has that we want but don’t have. In comparison, jealousy happens when we perceive someone else’s closeness with our loved ones as a risk to our relationship. We might be jealous when finding our best friend confided in another friend, but we get envious of a neighbor’s new car or a colleague’s achievement.

Jealousy leads to painful feelings of unworthiness. So, before it stimulates a cycle of obsessions, tell yourself aloud:

“What should I do to feel more lovable and adequate?

Listen, and you could realise that just uttering negative words will make you feel too belittled. Then how doubting your loved one can make you feel lovable and adequate partner?

Here are some of the Tips to deal with jealousy

Focus on compassion, not trust

Photo by Karolina Grabowska from Pexels:

Storms of Jealousy shake the confidence to trust. So, focus on compassion instead. Compassion is empathy for healing our hurt cups with motivation, appreciation, and connection. Trust will eventually return after a lot of self-compassion and compassion for loved ones. But it may fall apart without a dose of sustained compassion.

Self-correcting motivation with breezy jealousy

Be mindful of the sweetest memory your partner brings to a mutual relationship. Explore what you can do instantly to make your bonding stronger. Over time, these determined efforts will strengthen your relationship and alleviate many storms of jealousy. Please don’t make it a conditional response to feeling inadequate or unlovable. Emotional reconditioning for acceptance endures a positive change.

Listen to your Self-talk and shift the focus inward.

Jealousy gets triggered when we are insecure about our relationship and feel them be at risk. Work on your relationship! Find out what is wrong and give your best instead of cycling into a spiral of hurt emotions.

Initiate an open conversation, especially when you feel someone is pulling away. Find the reality, and even better, drift away if you find yourself redundant without guilt.

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Photo by Alex Green:

Women’s Empowerment

@workingmama_za

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be produced or transmitted in any form or by any means: electronic or mechanical without the prior consent of the publisher. While every effort has been taken to provide information that is accurate as possible, the publishers and respective contributors and researchers do not accept any responsibility for injury, loss or damage occasioned to any person as a result of material in this book, No guarantee of product or service sales

Why is empowering girls and women so important? When women are living safe, fulfilled and productive lives, they can reach their full potential

Photo by Clarke Sanders (unsplash)

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