HENLEY SMITH REFUSES TO STEP DOWN

TCSU President Toby Henley Smith has sparked a constitutional crisis by refusing to hand over power to President-Elect Molly O’Brien. In an exclusive interview with Travisty, Toby stated that he intends to remain in his post until the JCR renovation is complete, however many years that takes.

“I was the one who got the JCR into this mess, so I feel obliged to stay on until everything is sorted out. A change in leadership is the last thing this project needs—my successor might disagree with me on the most fundamental matters, such as the number of beanbags in each room. If I stood down, the water cooler might not be installed until early next century.”

Asked whether his decision was undemocratic, Toby was typically defiant: “Most presidents get to be in power for much longer than a year—it’s four years in America, five in France and basically forever in North Korea, so why shouldn’t it be the same here?” He even expressed interest in beating the long-standing record held by

Robert Marsden, who was TCSU President from 1733 until his mysterious death at a dinner with the Dean in 1802.

Molly, fresh from her unexpected victory over Re-Open Nominations, has resolved to stage a coup to remove Toby from power if necessary. She has the backing of several incoming TCSU committee members, at least two senior Fellows and, ominously, the Great Court Sniper.