What your favourite sa Lto

LoCk says about your Love ProsPeCts

Muhammad Manji predicts your future

Whewell’s Court Trinity Street

Possibly the most frequented SALTO locked gate in Trinity. You’re definitely not short of admirers but you find yourself turning most of them down. Just like when the Porters escort out over-excited tourists who walked past the “No Entry” sign thinking that they would get away with it.

Whewell’s Court Sidney Street

You don’t like to be rushed and, just like anyone using this gate, potential suitors will definitely need a lot of patience. Perhaps it’s worth the wait, but then again most of the time I go through that gate I end up regretting buying another five packs of Sainsbury’s cookies.

Angel Court Gate

Many a student has lost a limb after being too slow to pass through this gate. Dating you is like playing with fire, and I wouldn’t be surprised if you were responsible for a similar number of lost limbs. Try taking things down a notch in the bedroom next time.

Bishop’s Hostel Gate

The most unpopular SALTO locked gate in Trinity, mostly due to the fact that it doesn’t work most of the time and is far more complicated than any reasonable door should be. Need I say any more?

New Court Backs Gate

I’m not really sure why they have this gate when there are much bigger metal gates on the other side of the backs. Similarly, you always find yourself in someone else’s shadow when it comes to the person you love. Maybe you should tell them how you truly feel instead of carrying on as if you have your shit together.

Punthouse Side Gate

I don’t think I’ve ever used this door myself. No offence, I’m sure there’s someone out there for you somewhere. I guess. Don’t hold me to that.

What’s on in Cambridge?

Mina Frost gives her worldly avice on how to procrastinate

Here are some suggestions of what to do to counter the winter bleakness (except if you’re ill, stay inside).

in trinity:

Trinity French Society are screening “L’Auberge Espagnole” on Saturday 17th at 7pm, in the Junior Parlour! A good opportunity to brush up on your French, procrastinate in a vaguely useful way, or just stare at Romain Duris. He is pretty dreamy.

Trinity College Science Society are hosting a talk by Professor Murray Shanahan, a senior research scientist at Google DeepMind! This will take place at the Winstanley Lecture Hall on 15th February, at 6pm.

outside of College:

No plans for Valentine’s Day? How about a cute date with Wes Anderson? The Cambridge Arts Picturehouse (that thing next to Spoons) is screening Rushmore on Wednesday 14th, at 9pm.

The fifth annual Italian-language production by the Cambridge Italian Society is running 15th–17th February at the Brickhouse Theatre Company (Robinson), at 7.30pm. This year they are putting on Accidental Death of An Anarchist by Dario Fo, a dark but comic masterpiece.

Fancy an exotic trip to forget about deadlines? The Cambridge University Botanic Gardens are hosting an informative Orchid Display until 4.30pm today (11th February). Who doesn’t fancy learning about orchid morphology after brunch?! Also, it’s warm inside greenhouses.