travisty Winter-nshi P

L ife behind the ty Pe W riters

Travisty’s intern gives his thoughts on Trinity’s satirical newspaper

November 2017 marked the start of my internship with Trinity’s favourite only comedic newspaper. I had heard good things about its editor, Kerem Ergene. In fact, I had personally experienced his playful manner when he 100% jokingly crashed an VIII into a bank, claiming to have gotten bow and stroke confused. From that point on, I knew he was a funny guy.

I got to meet so many mediocrely popular famous writers: the brilliant minds behind Detective Portero, the hottest new crime thriller since Sherlock Holmes contracted arthritis and swapped solving mysteries for solving cryptic crosswords; and the esteemed Auntie M herself, the single largest source of wisdom since fortune cookies hit western culture.

Immediately, it became clear that the finished product handed out at Sunday brunch does not reflect the true nature of writing groups at Travisty. A few common phrases are:

“Yes, I get that it’s true, but it also comes across as racist.”

“We’re not supposed to swear, and yes, CENSORED does count as one.”

“Stop bringing up that incident again, Mr President.”

Far from the well-oiled machine that it seems, the longer I spent with Travisty the more I realised how much their system is in disarray. One might even say it’s a travesty, if you excuse the pun.

On the bright side, it’s not all bad at Travisty headquarters. For a start, there’s port, and then, if people are particularly thirsty, more port. See, it’s not all bad.

Would I recommend Travisty to others? Definitely. I mean sure, they don’t write good references, they don’t hire you into a paid position after your internship ends, and they don’t do anything that you’d expect a normal internship to do, for that matter. But they do give you free alcohol and, with enough of it, you’ll forget the need for everything else.

Valentine’s Day Sonnet

I don’t have a date for Valentine’s Day

I don’t have a date for Valentine’s Day

I don’t have a date for Valentine’s Day

I don’t have a date for Valentine’s Day

I don’t have a date for Valentine’s Day

I don’t have a date for Valentine’s Day

I don’t have a date for Valentine’s Day

I don’t have a date for Valentine’s Day

I don’t have a date for Valentine’s Day

I don’t have a date for Valentine’s Day

I don’t have a date for Valentine’s Day

I don’t have a date for Valentine’s Day

I don’t have a date for Valentine’s Day

I don’t have a date for Valentine’s Day

Fedor Misyura

Love Story

We were both drunk when I first saw you I close my eyes and the flashback starts

I’m standing there

At Friday Life in sweaty air.

See the lights, see the VKs, the chunder

See you make your way through the crowd And scream “Hello!”

Little did I know...