The Clock Was Ticking by Brielle Anderson '23 The clock was ticking. And Mrs. Robertson was looking at her with an unimpressed expression. She testily shifted on her yoga ball. Mrs. Robertson clasped ring-clad fingers together and cleared her throat. "So, Mrs." She stacked her papers and looked up. "Rutherford." "Yes?" "Your son has been causing quite a commotion recently," Mrs. Robertson said with hesitation. "Oh? What has he done this time?"Mrs. Rutherford asked. "He…" She glanced at her 'Best Second Grade Teacher' mug and gathered her courage. "Do you happen to watch The Apprentice?" "Ah, yes?" "Well." She paused again, bouncing lightly on her yoga ball, "Mrs. Rutherford, your son seems to have taken some of Donald Trump's words to heart." "I'm not following." "Mrs. Rutherford… your son has decided to "fire" everyone he meets. This wouldn't normally be a problem if he hadn't taken it upon himself to fire Principal Hodgkin." "Oh, I see…" "And as we all know, Principal Hodgkin cares very deeply about his job, and he is an essential component of this school. He wants the students at this school to respect him." She cleared her throat and tapped lightly on her sunflower-painted desk. "This incident seems to have eroded his self-confidence." "Oh, I'm very sorry. I didn't know that my son was causing so ma-" "Principal Hodgkin has quit!" Mrs. Robertson wailed. "Oh, I-" "He said that if his students didn't see him fit to run a school, then he might as well just go back to working at the family hot dog stand!" She sobbed uncontrollably. "I apologize, Mrs. Rutherford, but we have no choice but to give the position of Principal to your son." "Wait, what?" "He is clearly more than qualified. He's watched The Apprentice after all." "So have I! That doesn't mean h-" "Are you trying to take this opportunity away from your son? His resume is far more extensive than yours! He has serious experience with the job's vital components, such as the ABCs and cursive writing." "He's 6!" "He's a genius! I thought as his own mother you'd understand. But if you don't,
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then you can kindly exit the premises." "No, I will not! We need to discus-" "GET OUT! I have another very important meeting. Mr. Rutherford, please come in." "You really think my husband is going to disagree with me? H-" She trailed off, realizing that wasn't her husband. "Jacob?" "Mother, it seems we are not in agreement over this opportunity for my professional advancement." Jacob straightened his tiny tie and smoothed down his hair. "Sadly, I have the unfortunate job of releasing you from your position of Mother." "Jacob, what are you talking ab-" "Mother, you are fired."
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