Tallahassee Woman Magazine December 2022-January 2023

DECEMBER 2022/JANUARY 2023

TANYA EVANS You Can't Pour From An Empty Cup!

Holiday Table Setting

Cranberry Pomegranate Cheesecake!

Peaks of Peru Girl Let's Talk About Child Support I Thrive Game Plan Brighten Someone's Day

Holiday Makeup

Faves& Raves HOLIDAY

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CONTENTS 10. LETTER FROM PUBLISHER

CULTURE & CUISINE

12. MAKEUP TIPS FOR GETTING HOLIDAY PARTY-READY IN MINUTES 14. CRANBERRY POMEGRANATE CHEESECAKE 16. FAVES AND RAVES 18. PERFECT HOLIDAY TABLE 20. COQUITO - A CHRISTMAS PUERTO RICAN DRINK

LIVING LOCAL

22. SWEET HOME TALLAHASSEE: SHANNON SHERRELL 24. AROUND TOWN: KIRA DERRYBERRY COVER PARTY 26. HAUTE HAPPENINGS

BUSINESS & LEADERSHIP 34. POWER OF A VISION BOARD

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36. STACKED: WOMEN IN REAL ESTATE 37. WOMEN ON MOVE: DEBBIE MILAZZO 38. WOMEN TO WATCH 40. LEGAL WRITES: CHILD SUPPORT

Tanya Evans

You Can't Pour From An Empty Cup!

TRAVEL

42. MADAME XHALES IN THE LOFTY PEAKS OF PERÚ

MIND, BODY & SPIRIT

46. COURAGEOUS CONVERSATIONS; PRIORITIZING THE "I" IN THRIVE 48. VITALITY HEALTH

LOVE & RELATIONSHIPS

50. PRACTICING CARE & COMPASSION

W.E. INSPIRE 51. BRIGHTEN SOMEONE'S DAY

14

28. ABOUT THE COVER: | PHOTOGRAPHY: KIRA DERRYBERRY | MUA: IMAGE BY LISA | HAIR: 850 SALON2023 | DRESS: PRIVATE COLLECTION tallahassee woman | 4 | december 2022 • january

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WOM A N

MAGAZINE

December 2022 - January 2023 • Volume 18 • Issue 1

Publisher | Editor-in-Chief Dr. Michelle Mitcham

EXECUTIVE EDITOR Laci Swann

CREATIVE DIRECTOR Olivia Heyward

EDITORIAL ASSISTANT Jennifer Knauf

DIRECTOR OF PUBLIC RELATIONS Marcia Warfel

CREATIVE CONSULTANT Briana Smith

DIRECTOR OF LEADERSHIP INITIATIVES Paula DeBoles-Johnson

RELATIONSHIP MANAGER Cristina Carter

DIRECTOR OF LUXURY TRAVEL Regina Lynch Hudson

ADVERTISING For advertising, visit talwoman.com, call (850) 893-9624, or e-mail ads@TalWoman.com.

TALLAHASSEE WOMAN is a publication of Mitcham Media Group LLC Post Office Box 16616 | Tallahassee, FL 32317-3401 Phone (850) 739-1720 | info@TalWoman.com Tallahassee Woman is published six times per year and is distributed on a complimentary basis throughout Tallahassee and the surrounding communities.

TALWOMAN.COM The information in this publication is presented in good faith.

The publisher does not guarantee accuracy or assume responsibility for errors or omissions.

Copyright © 2023 Mitcham Media Group LLC. All rights reserved. Reproduction, in part or in whole, without expressed written consent of the Publisher is prohibited.

tallahassee woman | 6 | december 2022 • january 2023

Photo by Kira Derryberry Photography

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CONTRIBUTORS

LISA DAVIS WRITER Lisa Davis is a wife, mommy of four, beauty blogger, Freelance Makeup Artist, and Owner of Image by Lisa.

God made her girly and she loves sharing her tips and tricks with other women so that they can look and feel their absolute best. For more information about Lisa visit imagebylisa.com.

REGINA LYNCHHUDSON WRITER Veteran publicist LACI SWANN and luxury lifestyle WRITER experience-aholic, Laci Swann is a Board Regina Lynch-Hudson, Member of the Autism pens MadameXhales, Society of Florida, slated towards the vinrepresenting the state’s tage of woman that enpanhandle in fundraising joys more time to travel. and advocacy efforts.

MadameXhales explores Laci is the Principal destinations, cruises, reof Sharp Editorial, an sorts, spas and extracuraward-winning editorial ricular activities. + small business consulting + branding design.

KIRA DERRYBERRY PHOTOGRAPHER Kira Derryberry is ASHLEY DICKEY a Tallahassee-based WRITER portrait photographer Ashley Dickey, FSU specializing in families, graduate with a headshots and boudoir Bachelor’s degree in and commercial Media Communication photography. She books Studies with a minor locally in Tallahasee in English. She is a and is available for Tallahassee local who is travel worldwide. View passionate about writing Kira's portfolio online at and enjoys spending kiraderryberry.com time with family and friends.

THAIS GONZALEZ WRITER Thais Gonzalez is a REBECCA WEAVER retired Tallahassee WRITER Spanish teacher.

Rebecca Weaver, She taught over news reporter, on5,000 students in the air personality Steve JANE MARKS community throughout Harvey Morning Show, WRITER her career. Leading CRISTINA CARTER Jane Marks is a licensed guest chef WCTV’s students to first place WRITER “Good Morning Show.” psychotherapist "life at the annual regional Cristina Carter, owner/ coach" with 50+ years of Rebecca inspires positive Modern Language Expo founder of Tallahassee experience specializing change nationally competition on multiple Notary, LLC, holds and internationally. in child and adolescent occasions she is well a Master of Arts in She promotes peace, behavior. She is a known in her field.

International Relations respect for diversity, and motivational speaker/ from FSU and has taught advancements towards lecturer focusing on several courses there. equality for all. mental health and She also co-directed/coadolescents. produced, “Las Chicas.”

tallahassee woman | 8 | december 2022 • january 2023

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Greetings & Happy Holidays

T

he chilly weather, spiked with the aroma of hot apple cider and sweetened with the delectably delicious delights of the palate, marks the undeniable characteristics of this special season.

What a year it has been… I can’t believe it is already December! As you get comfy in your warm winter sweater, covered up with blankets while drinking tea or coffee or sipping a mimosa, I hope you also cozy up with a copy of Tallahassee Woman Magazine and take some time to unwind as you read about your friends and neighbors in the magazine by women, for women and about women.

PUBLISHER

On the cover, we feature the indomitable Tanya Evans, owner of Eight Five Zero Salon, who shares her story of pouring into others, family and cultivating relationships. Her story will surely inspire you!

I am so thankful to the TWM team, my tribe, the awesome community, contributors, guest editors, advertisers, and sponsors. TWM is proud to be an OEV-certified woman and minority-owned business. We want every woman to see herself in the picture – in the stories.

As we call 2022 to an end and welcome 2023, it is my wish for you to receive abundantly the blessings of the season as you focus on what is nearest and dearest to your heart – loving service to family, faith, friends, and community.

Happy Holidays,

Dr. Michelle Mitcham

Photo by Kira Derryberry Photography

tallahassee woman | 10 | december 2022 • january 2023

before

New Year, New Look!

after LANDSCAPE DESIGN | INSTALLATION | LIGHTING

3

CULTURE & CUISINE

MAKEUP TIPS FOR GETTING HOLIDAY PARTY-READY IN MINUTES

I

By Lisa Davis

t’s time to sparkle and shine at your holiday parties this season! Enhancing your everyday makeup with a little extra oomph can help you get into the festive spirit, and it will photograph beautifully in holiday pictures.

Here are three tips for transitioning your everyday makeup to party-ready in minutes.

1. Shimmer for the Win Add sparkle to the eyelid using a shimmer or metallic eye shadow, loose pigment, or glitter.

Pro Tip: Apply shadows before adding mascara and lashes to prevent pigment from falling onto your lashes.

2. Falsies Make a Real Difference False lashes are the fastest way to elevate any makeup look. Add a full lash for a glamorous look or a half lash for a more natural aesthetic. My favorites are light, fluffy lashes, like the ones from Ardell Naked, because they’re lightweight and comfortable.

Need help with application? Check out @imagebylisa on Instagram for tutorials.

3. Pop of Color to Pop on Camera Nothing says Christmas like a classic red lip! Red can feel uncomfortable when you don’t wear it often, but step out of your comfort zone, and you’ll be pleasantly surprised. Brighter colors can help you look younger and bring back the fun factor. Red is a showstopper on and off camera.

overly blushed

s p i l d e t a r exagge

glowing skin tallahassee woman | 13 | october • november 2022

CRANBERRY POMEGRANATE CHEESECAKE

By Rebecca Weaver

T

hey say the holiday season is the most wonderful time of the year. I say the most wonderful time of the year is any time you have an amazing dessert! We all know the holiday season is not complete without festive, sweet treats adorning your holiday table and this cranberry pomegranate cheesecake is definitely a recipe that celebrates the season in style!! The decadent dessert features fresh cranberries in a homemade cranberry pomegranate jam finished in a smooth pinot noir, on top of a homemade triple gingerbread crust. The from scratch cheesecake features tangy lemon zest and vanilla bean paste. Top with fresh, frosted cranberries

INGREDIENTS Frosted Cranberries:

• 8 oz fresh cranberries • 1.5 cups water • 1.5 cups cane sugar • 1/2 cup cane sugar (reserved for coating cranberries) • Cranberry Pomegranate Jam • 16 oz fresh cranberries

and you have an incredible dessert no one can resist! Now, some people may try to dissuade you from making a cheesecake given the time it takes, but others will affirm, a homemade cheesecake is absolutely worth the effort! And with the proper preparation, you will be glad you invested in this incredible dessert and so will your guests! Bring this sweet and tangy dessert to your holiday party or family gathering and not only will you be the talk of the event, but you will definitely be invited back next year to share your culinary prowess. Wishing you and yours a very merry and bright holiday season!

• 3/4 cup cane sugar

• 10 Tbsp butter (melted)

• 1/2 cup cane sugar

• 1/4 cup light brown sugar

• 2 Tsp vanilla extract

• 3 Tsp vanilla bean paste

• 1/4 cup pomegranate juice • 1/3 cup pinot noir wine • 2 Tsp lemon juice • 1/4 Tsp ground cinnamon

Cheesecake Filling: • 24 oz cream cheese (softened) • 3/4 cup heavy whipping cream

• Gingerbread Crust

• 2 Tbsp sour cream

• 3 cups gingerbread

• 2 eggs

cookies (crushed) • 1/2 cup light brown sugar

• 1 Tbsp lemon zest • White Chocolate Mousse • 8 oz white chocolate baking chips or baking bar • 8 oz cream cheese (softened) • 8 oz whipped dairy

• 1 Tsp vanilla extract

topping (like TruWhip or

• 2 Tbsp corn starch

Cool Whip)

tallahassee woman | 14 | december 2022 • january 2023

Remove crust from oven and allow to cool before adding jam. When crust has cooled, add 1 cup (or about half) of the jam on top of the crust. Prepare the springform pan for the cheesecake water bath by wrapping the pan in heavy duty foil. After wrapping the pan in foil, set aside.

DIRECTIONS FROSTED CRANBERRIES: Combine 1.5 cups of water and 1.5 cups cane sugar in a sauce pan over medium heat and heat until sugar is dissolved, stirring slowly.

Remove from heat and let cool slightly. In a glass dish with a lid, add cranberries and pour sugar mixture over cranberries. Cover and refrigerate overnight. After the cranberries have sat in the liquid sugar mixture overnight, strain through a colander and place the cranberries in a bowl, top with the remaining 1/2 cup and toss until the cranberries are coated and look frosted. Set them aside until you are ready to decorate.

CRANBERRY POMEGRANATE JAM: In a sauce pan over medium heat, combine 16 oz cranberries, 1/4 cup pomegranate juice, 1/3 cup pinot noir, 2 Tsp lemon juice, 3/4 cup cane sugar, 1/4 cup light brown sugar and 1/4 Tsp cinnamon.

Mix well Cook cranberries for about 15 minutes, stirring often. You will hear the cranberries began to pop and you will see your mixture thickening… this is good ☺ Remove from heat and cool slightly. If you prefer a thick jam, you are done! If you want a smooth jam, add mixture to the blender or food processor and blend until smooth.

GINGERBREAD CRUST: Preheat oven to 325 degrees F Mix 3 cups crushed gingerbread cookies, 1/2 cup light brown sugar, 10 Tbsp melted butter, and 2 Tsp vanilla. Grease 9in springform cheesecake pan. Pour gingerbread mixture into the greased pan, pressing down to cover the entire bottom of the pan. Bake the crust in oven for about 12-15 minutes or until golden brown.

CHEESECAKE FILLING: Beat 24 oz cream cheese and 1/2 cup sugar on medium-high speed until smooth, about 2 minutes.Add 1 Tsp vanilla extract and 2 Tbsp sour cream, mixing until combined. Add eggs one at a time, beating after each egg. Scrape sides and bottom of the bowl and beat until combined. Lower mixer speed and add 2 Tbsp cornstarch. On medium-low speed, add 3/4 cup heavy whipping cream. Mixing until combined and scraping sides and bottom to incorporate.

Fold in 3 Tsp vanilla bean paste and 1 Tbsp lemon zest.

(Note: Folding is not the same as beating; you do not want to over mix your cheesecake mixture.) Spoon the cheesecake mixture over the jam and gingerbread crust. Place the springform pan wrapped in foil into a roasting pan. Fill the roasting pan with hot water, about halfway up the side of the cheesecake. Bake cheesecake for 70-75 minutes. About 10 minutes towards the end, turn the oven off and open the oven door, letting it rest before removing it from the oven.

After you remove the cheesecake from the oven and from its water bath, allow to sit for about 20 minutes before releasing it from the springform pan. Release the cheesecake from the springform pan by gently running a knife or small spatula around the outer edge of the cheesecake. Cool cheesecake for an hour. Spread the remaining jam on top of the cheesecake. Refrigerate for about 4 hours.

WHITE CHOCOLATE MOUSSE: Melt white chocolate chips in double boiler or microwave until smooth. If using a double boiler, stir white chocolate constantly until melted. If using a microwave, add about 1 Tbsp of coconut oil to chocolates and warm in 30 second intervals, stirring completely before returning to microwave. Do not overheat chocolates. In separate bowl, beat 8 oz cream cheese with an electric stand mixer until smooth.

Drizzle melted chocolate into bowl while continuing to beat cream cheese. Mix well. Fold in 8 oz whipped dairy topping.

If you want to decorate your cake with some of the mousse, reserve half of the mixture and decorate your cheesecake with a frosting tip, using the reserved mousse. If you do not want to decorate the cheesecake, spread all the mousse on top of the jam.

DECORATE & PRESENTATION: Decorate your cheesecake by topping it with the frosted cranberries and reserved mousse. You can also garnish with fresh rosemary sprigs and cinnamon sticks. Refrigerate until ready to serve and store any leftovers in the refrigerator.

tallahassee woman | 15 | december 2022 • january 2023

Faves & Raves Loeffler Randall Rayne Pleated Clutch - Emerald $250.00 Narcissus Tallahassee 1408 Timberlane Rd. Tallahassee, FL 32312 850-668-4807

The Shay Avaitor Sunglasses $42.00 Sparkle Tallahassee 2627 Capital Circle NE, Tallahassee, FL 32308 850-567-1805

White & Gold Mini Geode Artwork with Stand $49.00 QZ Design Gallery QZDESIGNGALLERY.COM

tallahassee woman | 16 | december 2022 • january 2023

Elle Better In Blouson Top $49.00 Rebels Midtown Boutique 1950 Thomasville Road Suite I, Tallahassee, FL 32303 850-597-7456.

Moody Floral Clay & Resin Earrings $40.00 Olivia Heyward OLIVIAHEYWARD.COM

Acacia Circo Cheese Board Set $48.00 Hearth and Soul TLH 1410 Market Street Tallahassee, FL 32312 850-894-7685

tallahassee woman | 17 | december 2022 • january 2023

PERFECT HOLIDAY TABLE

By Ashley Dickey

L

et the table do the talking! The holidays are almost here, and table decorations will add extra flair to any gathering. Here’s a quick guide to decorating your table for the season.

It’s best to have a theme in mind before you begin decorating your table. Consider whether you want to set your table based on the entire season or for a specific holiday. Then, when you go shopping for decorations, you’ll know what to look for. Some of my favorite places to shop for table decor are Hobby Lobby, Michael’s, and Joann Fabrics.

For a simple table, you can use index cards and cursive writing to make place cards for your family and friends.

Stick the place cards in the slits of a jingle bell for festive fun! Add a plaid napkin to dress up the plates of your choice.

Grab a piece of flocked garland to use as the centerpiece for the perfect amount of pizzazz to tie everything together.

For a winter wonderland-themed table, you’ll want to focus on adding as much dimension as possible. Check your local craft stores for unique placemats. Using snowflakes or anything with glitter is a great way to add simple bling to the setting. For the table runner, you can use more flocked garland with ornaments added or a piece of faux fur. Incorporating simple crystal vases and tabletop trees will add texture to the table. String everything together with unique fairy lights to add excitement and character.

Happy Holidays!

tallahassee woman | 18 | december 2022 • january 2023

tallahassee woman | 19 | december 2022 • january 2023

o t i u q o C

A CHRISTMAS PUERTO RICAN DRINK.

By Thais Gonzalez When you mention “Coquito” to a Puerto Rican they think about Christmas immediately. It is probably the most important expression of Christmas to many friends that were born in that beautiful island. My friend Martha, who was born and raise in Puerto Rico, offers me a bottle of Coquito every December.

I keep it in the refrigerator and have a zip of Coquito every day, until the bottle is gone. Although I am Venezuelan, Coquito and Christmas are also part of my Navidad, thanks to my wonderful Puerto Rican friend.

Here is the recipe that my friend Martha uses. Very easy and delicious!

It is enough for 2 bottles of Coquito.

Try this delectable drink: 2 cups of rum 2 cans of cream of coconut (Coco Lopez*) 2 cans of evaporated milk 1 can of condensed milk 1 (8 oz) cool whip Mix half of each ingredient in a blender. Repeat. Refrigerate and pour into individual cocktail glasses when you are ready to enjoy.

Feliz Navidad! *This is what I use, feel free to use another brand.

tallahassee woman | 20 | december 2022 • january 2023

Courageous Conversations

Dr. Michelle Mitcham, LMHC-QS, NCC, CCMHC

Counselor, Life Coach & Facilitator DRMICHELLEMITCHAM.COM CALL FOR FREE PHONE CONSULTATION (850) 296-8801

Dr. Michelle A. Mitcham is thrilled to empower women, teams and individuals with strategies for success in both the workplace and relationships. As CEO of Courageous Conversations, a counseling, coaching, and consulting practice, Dr, Mitcham coaches on leadership, workplace resilience, emotional intelligence, imposter syndrome, relationship building, women’s empowerment, diversity, equity and inclusion, conflict resolution, mindfulness, and team building.

tallahassee woman | 21 | december 2022 • january 2023

HOME SWEET HOME

I VNG L L O C A L

S

By Laci Swann

ome of the biggest hair trends include natural styles, extensions, tape-ins, weaves, and braids. For busy women, styles that can get the longest wear are more attractive than ever. Since people have returned postCOVID, it seems that new hairstyles, color, and taking risks are the norm. Recently, Shannon Sherrell, owner of SSBeauty Bar, sat down with TWM Editor Laci Swann to learn more about trending hairstyles, hair extension options, and a range of services ideal for every hair texture and length. Women want to express themselves with their own unique style, which includes hair. These days, hair is treated like any other accessory.

Shannon's salon may be the first multicultural salon in Killearn. She is a beauty mogul, licensed hairdresser, and cosmetologist. Shannon is a recent graduate of Florida State University with an MBA and is now taking doctoral classes in business administration. We love to see it — a woman constantly setting and reaching new goals!

“Not only am I perfecting the art of hair, but I’m striving to be the best leader I can be for my brand and respective clients,” Shannon proudly shares.

With a strong business acumen and a wealth of talent, Shannon prides herself on staying one step ahead of the ever-changing trends of the hair world. With over 10 years of experience, Shannon boasts of countless clients that not only have gorgeous styles but also have the knowledge to maintain their hair to keep their strands healthy and their styles long-lasting.

With the best quality hair extensions lasting a few years with proper care, Shannon offers hair to add immediate length and fullness to every hair type, length, and texture.

Shannon explained that if you’re looking to add immediate length that looks completely natural, tape-ins may be the solution. Tape-ins are simply hair attached to a piece of tape that the stylist installs. Tape-ins last several months and are suitable for all kinds of hair.

Another long-wearing option for extra length and fullness is a braidless sew-in. With this option, Shannon uses an ultra-lightweight bead that attaches to your hair. No lumps, no bumps, and it’s suitable for all hair types, including curly hair.

For many women, changing their hairstyle is not an easy decision. The way you feel about your hair can add confidence or take it away. Take time to do the research and find out what's best for you. There are endless possibilities. tallahassee woman | 22 | december 2022 • january 2023

tallahassee woman | 23 | december 2022 • january 2023

AROUND

Kira Derryberry Cover Party

TOWN

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ira Derryberry, national award-winning photographer and Vice President of the Professional Photographers of America was celebrated in style at the Tallahassee Woman Magazine August/September Cover Woman Reception held at Bella Bella Italian restaurant. Family and friends celebrated with Kira and had a fabulous time!

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Pictured from Left to Right 1. Kira Derryberry Tallahassee Woman Cover 2. Kira Derryberry 3. Amber Hughes, Bethany Hume, Kim Crowell, Meredith Thomas, Angela Chong, Kira Derryberry, Liz Thomas, Amanda Hunter, Amanda Clark, Adieren Narro, Dawn CarterCook 4.Quia Z. Atkinson, Marsha Doll, Kira Derryberry, Dr. Michelle, Jane Marks, Lisa Davis 5. Anita Bushnyakova, Dr. Michelle Mitcham, Mary Stafford 6. Eian Dodd, Ashley Tillis, Lucy Derryberry, Kevin Derryberry, Janet Dodd, John Dodd 7. Kira Derryberry, Dr. Michelle Mitcham 8. Jane Marks, Elizabeth Rosario 9. Marcia Warfel, Anita Favors Jane Marks, Dr. Michelle Mitcham, Elizabeth Rosario, Quia Z. Atkinson, Olivia J. Heyward, Lisa Davis,Anita Bushnyakova, Mary Stafford 10. Adieren Narro, Amanda Clark, Amanda Hunter, Dawn Carter-Cook 11. Kira Derryberry, Emerson Flowers, Alex Mitchell, Mark Brennan, Kevin Derryberry, Jeff Joseph, Amber Hughes Photography by: Steven Saccio tallahassee woman | 25 | december 2022 • january 2023

HAUTE HAPPENINGS TALLAHASSEE FARMERS MARKET

TENTHING BRASS ENSEMBLE HOLIDAY PROGRAM

December 3rd, 10th, and 17th 2022 8:00 AM - 12:00 PM 2904 Kerry Forest Pkwy Tallahassee, FL 32309-6824

December 8th, 2022 7:30 PM The Moon 1105 E Lafayette St Tallahassee, FL 32301

Bring the whole family out to support local farms and vendors! You can purchase fresh fruits and veggies, meats, and tasty baked treats. This is the longest-running farmers market in the capital city, so be sure to continue supporting this local event.

TALLAHASSEE MIMOSA BAR CRAWL

December 4th, 2022 11:00 AM - 3:00 PM Downtown Tallahassee, FL If you’re 21 or older with a love of mimosas, spend your Sunday at the Mimosa Fest right here in Tallahassee. With general admission, you can enjoy a variety of mimosas and menus. Upgrade to a VIP ticket for a Mimosa Fest t-shirt. For more information, visit this link: https://www.tixr.com/groups/ufp/events/tallahassee-mimosa-crawl-47435

FUSION WORLD DANCE ANDMUSIC CMX FALLSCHASE RED CARPET EXPERIENCE

Support the women of the Norwegian tenThing Brass Ensemble when they come to Tallahassee for a compelling performance.

In this special holiday performance, the group will perform songs that we all know and love on a night beneath The Moon.

THEATRE TALLAHASSEE A CHRISTMAS CAROL

December 9th - December 18th, 2022 Show Times Vary Theatre Tallahassee 1861 Thomasville Rd Tallahassee, FL 32303

Theatre Tallahassee performs Patrick Barlow’s adaptation of Charles Dickens's beloved story, A Christmas Carol. Support local theater and grab a ticket to a wonderful production in celebration of the holiday season! Don’t be a Scrooge and visit this link for the virtual box office: https://theatretallahassee.showare.com/eventperformances. asp?evt=104

THE ELFIN’ CRAFT SHOW

December 4th, 2022 6:00 PM - 9:00 PM 147 Vermillion Blvd Tallahassee, FL 32317 Have an evening at the movies and celebrate a multitude of cultures on the big screen! On a journey through the sea, follow this exciting story filled with beauty and the wonders of the world. You don’t want to miss it!

December 10th, 2022 10:00 AM - 4:00 PM Tallahassee Automobile Museum 6800 Mahan Drive Tallahassee, FL 32308 At this family-friendly event, you can support local businesses, visit food trucks, and enjoy live music simultaneously! There are plenty of crafts and fun to be had at this fes-

tive event. In the spirit of giving, enjoy free entry and parking.

HOLIDAY MAGIC: CIRQUE DE NOEL

December 17th, 2022 2:30 PM - 4:30 PM, 8:00 PM - 10:00 PM Ruby Diamond Concert Hall 222 S Copeland St Tallahassee, FL 32304 United States Listen to your favorite holiday classics and witness beautiful visual performances in a brand new Cirque de la Symphonie show!

In a celebration of the season, this widely loved show is sure to leave you awestruck.

You can buy tickets here: https://www.tallahasseesymphony.org/event/holiday-magic-cirque-de-noel/

TALLAHASSEE YOUTH ORCHESTRAS HOLIDAY CONCERT

December 18th, 2022 3:00 PM Ruby Diamond Concert Hall 222 S Copeland St Tallahassee, FL 32304 United States Support young artists as they put on a performance suited for the holidays. This talented youth orchestra will play in Ruby Diamond Concert Hall in the swing of the holiday season. You can purchase tickets at the box office or online at www.TallahasseeYouthOrchestras.com

TALLAHASSEE'S ONLY MIDNIGHT FIREWORKS NEW YEARS EVE

December 31st, 2022 - January 1st, 2023 9:00 PM - 12:00 AM 705 South Woodward Avenue Tallahassee, FL 32304

tallahassee woman | 26 | december 2022 • january 2023

Ring in the New Year at Madison Social and Township in College Town! If you’re 21 or older there will be a variety of drinks, which you can purchase a ticket to cover. If you simply want to enjoy the fireworks, this event is open to the public.

Theatre Tallahassee as they perform this exciting tale about the magic obstacles one may face on a lonely island. See how it all ends in this mainstage play! Purchase tickets here: https://theatretallahassee.showare. com/eventperformances.asp?evt=105

WINE BINGO AT VINO BEANO

NORTH FLORIDA HOME SHOW

January 4th, 2023 7:00 PM - 9:00 PM 1309 Thomasville Rd Tallahassee, FL 32303 BINGO! We’ve got the perfect event for you. Have a game night at Vino Beano with a free glass of wine paired with every food purchase. Stay after 9 PM to enjoy live music.

THE MANHATTAN TRANSFER: 50TH ANNIVERSARY & FINAL WORLD TOUR WITH SPECIAL GUEST THE DIVA JAZZ ORCHESTRA

January 12th, 2023 7:30 PM Ruby Diamond Concert Hall 222 S Copeland St Tallahassee, FL 32304

February 3-5, 2023 Friday 12:00 PM – 7:00 PM, Saturday 10:00 AM – 7:00 PM, Sunday 10:00 AM – 4:00 PM Donald L. Tucker Civic Center 505 W. Pensacola St. Tallahassee, FL Are you renovating your home? The North Florida Home Show is the perfect place to browse different products and gain inspiration. Take the weekend and head over to the civic center to check out all this show has to offer! Purchase tickets here: https://www. northfloridahomeshow.com/visitors/

STEP AFRIKA!

The Manhattan Transfer, along with the DIVA Jazz Orchestra, will celebrate their 50th anniversary in the capital city! This award winning quartet and inspiring orchestra are sure to blow you away. You can purchase your tickets on the FSU Opening Nights website.

THEATRE TALLAHASSEE THE TEMPEST

February 7th, 2023 7:30 PM Ruby Diamond Concert Hall 222 S Copeland St Tallahassee, FL 32304 Enjoy a performance by the very first professional stepping company! This is sure to be a fun-filled night with amazing performances, music, and beautiful storytelling through the art of stepping. Tickets will be on sale starting December 15th. Don’t miss out!

COLSON WHITEHEAD AT FSU

January 19th - February 5th, 2023 Show Times Vary Theatre Tallahassee 1861 Thomasville Rd Tallahassee, FL 32303

Director Nathan Williamson’s take on a Shakespearean classic, The Tempest. Join

February 9th, 2023 7:30 PM Ruby Diamond Concert Hall 222 S Copeland St Tallahassee, FL 32304 Spend your evening with #1 New York Times bestselling author, Colson White-

tallahassee woman | 27 | december 2022 • january 2023

head! Whitehead will be coming to FSU and it's sure to be an insightful evening to give you insight into his writing talent. Tickets will be available starting December 15th.

QUEENS OF SOUL WITH TALLAHASSEE SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA

February 11th, 2023 7:30 PM Ruby Diamond Concert Hall 222 S Copeland St Tallahassee, FL 32304

Prepare to enjoy a soulful performance by Morgan James and Erica Gabriel, along with the Tallahassee Symphony Orchestra. Come out to hear your favorite soulful songs performed by critically acclaimed musicians. On December 15th, you can grab your tickets for this beautiful evening.

THE FUZZY PINEAPPLE DESSERT FESTIVAL

February 11th, 2023 11:00 AM - 5:00 PM The Fuzzy Pineapple 1205 S Adams St Tallahassee, FL 32301 Support local small businesses and satisfy your sweet tooth at the same time! This free event is open to all, including your furry friends. Bring the whole family out to celebrate local artists, businesses and hear some great music!

COVER

TANYA EVANS

BY: CRISTINA CARTER | PHOTOGRAPHY: KIRA DERRYBERRY

PHOTOGRAPHY: KIRA DERRYBERRY | MUA: IMAGE BY LISA HAIR: 850 SALON | DRESS: PRIVATE COLLECTION

tallahassee woman | 28 | december 2022 • january 2023

M

s. Tanya Evans is the petite but powerful owner of Eight Five Zero salon. Guided by faith, she is fierce and loyal and believes in putting forth her best in everything she does. As the eldest of five children from humble beginnings, Tanya knew how to work hard, collaborate, and be a leader at an early age.

Mickey Moore, principal and consultant, Moore Business Strategies, captures Tanya’s tenacity best.

“There’s effort and persistence, and there’s Tanya. As an entrepreneur, I know well the challenges inherent in running a business – but even I have no idea of the challenges of running a business that was previously owned by someone recognized with a lifetime achievement award! Undeterred, Tanya has shown her strength, her creativity, her willingness to work hard, and the love of her profession as she has built her super 850 team and crafted her business - and its culture - for the future. Her effort and passion are unmatched.” ~Mickey Moore, Principal & Consultant Moore Business Strategies It was my distinct pleasure to interview Tanya on a sunny November afternoon at my favorite woman and minority owned local coffee shop, RedEye Coffee in Midtown (a few doors from Tanya’s 850 salon). We immediately bonded over our love for dogs as she shared with me that she had three French bulldog puppies, two being only one week apart. Coincidentally, I happened to be dog sitting my mom’s 6-month-old Maltese and explained how my much older Carian Terrier wasn’t thrilled about having a younger dog around.

We swapped stories and photos of our fur babies as we sipped coffee and enjoyed the warm sun and crisp cool air. Below are some of the highlights of our inspiring conversation. I know you will enjoy getting to know Tanya as much as I did.

Q: Who is Tanya?

A: Who Tanya is, is ever changing. I'm a wife, a mother, a business owner, working full time behind the chair doing what I love. I named the Salon Eight Five Zero to clearly, and unmistakably, identify my business as an integral part of this vibrant community. Like many other working mothers, I get up, take the kids to school and then I’m off to work. But there is something more to life than these daily tasks. For me it’s a passion for giving back and loving more and caring for those around me in whatever way I can.

tallahassee woman | 29 | december 2022 • january 2023

Q. Was there someone special you would say was the greatest influence in your life?

A. My grandmother! My mother gave birth to me when she was just 15 and never really embraced being a mother. She was in and out of my life during my formative years.

My grandmother was my rock. She raised me in the church. By her deeds, she modeled a commitment to community as she frequently fed and helped others. Regularly, she donated clothes and bought school supplies for needy children. Her example of service and loving compassion is what planted the seed in me to serve both my family and my community.

Q. What about your father – was he also present in your life?

My dad married my mother when I was very young, and although he was not my biological father, he treated me and my siblings as his own. If the truth be told, my oldest daughter is from my husband’s prior marriage, but my love for her is the same as my dad had for me. My dad is still a driving force in my life. If it weren't for him, I don't know where I would be.

Q: What led you to styling hair and entering the salon business?

A. I always wanted to own my own salon business, even when I was young and growing up in Birmingham, Alabama. After moving to Tallahassee and studying cosmetology at the Aveda Institute, my dream of eventually owning a salon was on the horizon. The Aveda mission resonated with me and inspired me, and my dreams of being a salon owner soon became a reality.

Q: How do you cultivate a caring and cohesive team?

A: My employees are like my tribe – my girls. I feel like part of my role as owner of the salon is to nurture them and cultivate a safe working space. You never know what someone is going through in their life, so I

want the wonderful women that work with me to know that when they walk in the door, this is family, and this is where they belong.

I want all to feel understood, comfortable, and safe. Every day, I lead with intention, and make a concerted effort to create an atmosphere conducive to sharing and caring.

It is important for me to know that everyone feels valued and appreciated.

Q: I know that you celebrate and appreciate diversity. Any challenges in this regard?

A: I do celebrate diversity. Intentionally and without reservation. It's very important to me. If you look around the country, diversity is the only constant that you see.

Even in the salon, people see diversity and they see themselves in the picture. Hence, the salon is named 850. Not for us, but for the diverse community in which we live. In the beginning, as I committed myself to the principle of representing the rich heritage and diverse people of our community, I lost friends and even family members who did not embrace the same values as I did. But, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Q: What is your self-care plan? What about mental health for yourself and your team?

A: When I was growing up, self-care and mental health were not words used in my household.

However, as time has passed, I have learned that you must always pour from a full cup, not from one that is empty. Today, I'm a huge advocate of mental health counseling and therapy. I believe that everybody can benefit from counseling, even if you haven't had what you might identify as significant trauma.

This is what I tell my kids: It doesn't matter if you think you're not going through anything, or if you are, and you just want to scream and cuss and throw things and feel no judgement. Whatever it takes to feel like you’ve been heard and you're in a safe space, so be it.

This principle is not just important to me and my children, but for my team members as well. I want them to know that I know that they can't pour water from an empty glass.

I heard professor, author and podcast host, Brene Brown say, “What's in your cup is for you and what spills over is for everybody else.”

I am still learning to take time for myself and pour into me and always make sure that my cup is full. As mentioned before, I was taught from early age to give of myself and take care of others and I find it challenging at times to take time for myself. However, now I know, without a doubt, that if you're constantly giving to others, you don’t have time to take care of yourself.

Q. What is your why? What keeps you going?

A: Running a small business is not an easy task. It’s hard. In fact, although very few know this, there was a time this summer when I was sick for well over a month, and I told my husband, “I don't want to do this anymore.”

As a small business owner, sometimes you're thriving and enjoying every minute and sometimes you’re not. But I can tell you that every single day something happens that makes me realize, this is why I do this, therefore I'm here. I love it when an employee comes to me and says, I just bought a new car, or, I'm closing on my first house, or, we're having a baby. When they reach those milestones in their life, they're living their dream, and I feel like I was a part of making that happen. Although I still may not know exactly why I am where I am, I think those are the reasons why I do the things that I do and what keeps me going.

Q: Tell us about your husband?

A. Every single day, my husband pushes me to be the best person that I can be. He helps me to be a better person. From the outside looking in, although it may not seem like

tallahassee woman | 30 | december 2022 • january 2023

PHOTOGRAPHY: KIRA DERRYBERRY | LOCATION: GOVERNORS CLUB | MUA: IMAGE BY LISA | HAIR: 850 SALON | DRESS: DILLARD'S | ACCESSORIES: NARCISSUS

“Every day, I lead

with intention, and make a concerted effort to create an atmosphere conducive to sharing and caring.” tallahassee tallahassee woman woman| 31 | 31 | december | october 2022 • november • january 2022 2023

it, I'm scared to do almost everything. I'm afraid to jump, but know that if I don't jump I will never know if I can fly. Sometimes, I think my husband is pushing me off of a cliff, but no matter what happens, he’s got me. I know I can always depend on him and he knows that I am always there for him.

Q: What is your message to your daughters?

My daughters are my greatest gift. Besides loving them completely and without reservation, I teach them to work hard for whatever it is that they want and become independent. Enjoy your life and become decision makers. Then, the world is at your feet.

Q: What is your favorite quote?

A: My favorite quote is by Maya Angelou: “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

Tanya went on to share that her life has been an incredible journey, fraught with obstacles and challenges, accompanied by opportunities to grow and create a wonderful life filled with friends, family and a business she dreamed of growing up.

From the example provided by her father and grandmother, she believes that “love is a verb” and chooses to be the mother that she never had, showing up for her children every day, in every way.

Her lived experiences taught her to love and give while caring for, nurturing and mentoring others. She acknowledges that she is still learning to nurture and care for herself.

She recognizes that “beauty is a verb” and requires action. As a stylist and owner operator of 850 Salon, she lovingly nurtures a welcoming atmosphere that brings smiles to the faces of those whom she and her staff are privileged to serve.

TALLAHASSEE WOMAN MAGAZINE

for women by women about women.

tallahassee woman | 32 | december 2022 • january 2023

The Eight Five Zero

Salon Difference Our carefully chosen and highly trained staff is here to exceed your expectations. The same goes for our elegant salon space - dedicated to guest comfort - and our devotion to innovation and artistry. We're focused on making your day and continually raising the bar.

We are also proud to align with Aveda's mission of ethical and sustainable business practices and its high-fashion aesthetic. We share Aveda's exceptional standards of quality products, treatments, and guest care, and everything we do reflects the standards of an Aveda Salon.

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EIGHT FIVE ZERO SALON

1122 T homasville Rd, Ste 6, Tallahassee, Fl 32303 eight1ivezerosalon.com

tallahassee woman | 33 | december 2022 • january 2023

BUSINESS & LEADERSHIP

THE POWER OF A VISION BOARD

By Laci Swann

W

ith the new year quickly approaching, you may hear the words “vision board.”

If you are unfamiliar, a vision board is a board of any sort that displays images to represent what you want to be, where you want to go, or what you want in your life.

Basically, it helps establish goals through pictures and, hopefully, leads you to maintain focus on those specific life goals.

In years past, my vision boards have included magazine cut-outs of goals such as growing my family, purchasing a new home,

becoming more spiritually sound, earning an article in Forbes, vacationing to different cities and countries, and even new recipes to try and explore.

I feel excited just thinking about the artistic and cerebral process of creating a board again this year!

However, simply cutting out a picture does not mean the goal will come true. Instead, it places your mind in a space that allows you to conceive the goal and then work toward it by seeing that picture each day clarity, concentration, and focus.

CHECK OUT THESE THREE REASONS TO MAKE A VISION BOARD: 1. Visualization encourages growth: Do not settle for less or refuse to look at the bigger picture. If you are unsatisfied with your life, be bold and explore more. Push yourself out of your comfort zone. Seeing your goals on a board may be an answer to breaking complacency!

2. It Serves as a reminder of your goals: With a vision board, the images in your mind become images on a board, which then contribute to forward movement. A fantastic way to move forward is to look at the future, and pictures are a wonderful way to do so.

3. It provides aA renewed sense of purpose: Sometimes, we lose sight of our purpose.

However, when we map out our goals, we create new opportunities to think about our decisions and respective possible actions.

tallahassee woman | 34 | december 2022 • january 2023

Sisters, It Can Be a New You in the New Year

FROM THE DESK OF

T

here is a switch that is flipped inside of me the day after Halloween.

I become both hyper-focused and a little panicked if I am being honest. The joys and demands of school plays, holiday parties, year-end company activities, magical surprises, last-minute Target trips, and preparing the foods our family has been eagerly awaiting all year can be a lot to juggle.

And so, I readied myself this past All Saints’ Day morning. Long before the other living things in our household stirred, I gathered our small batch of ghouls and faux pumpkins and hauled them back up the stairs to the storage closet to be tucked away for another year. When I opened the closet door, I took a deep breath before being confronted by the knowing stillness and two dozen green totes storing our holiday decorations for December. Here it comes—ready or not.

How are you feeling about another year almost at its end, my sisters?

Are you ready? Or not?

How are you feeling about your life, your family, your career, and your dreams?

Do you wake up most days feeling inspired and ready for the glorious gift of time on this precious planet?

Or, are you anxious, uncertain, and overwhelmed?

Do you worry about news reports that say inflation is out of control and gasoline and grocery prices are on the rise again?

Do you wonder if you will never have

kcarrie@livegive850.com

Carrie Boyd

enough money?

Do you wish you could give back more to your church or favorite nonprofit, yet you barely have enough as it is to survive?

Do you feel alone?

Do you wonder why it seems others are getting ahead and leaving you behind?

And yet, no matter what you are feeling at this very moment, do you know you are meant for more?

Sometimes, what we are most afraid of is on the other side of holiday totes, hymns that move us to silent tears in the back pew, and the endless busyness of our lives. Sometimes, what we fear most is the future that is spread out before us, unwritten and unknown like a cold January day.

Many women know they are meant for so much more if only they knew the way forward. They believe the “rich” people have it figured out, yet they themselves will never get ahead, so why bother to think bigger?

Many of our mothers and grandmothers were or are strong, phenomenal women— that is without question. However, how many of your grandmothers and mothers were like my beloved Grandma Rose who repeated adages throughout your childhood such as “money does not buy happiness” or “a penny saved is a penny earned”? True happiness cannot be bought, yet here is what wealth does offer you and your family: Freedom. Educational Expenses. Travel.

Housing. Opportunities. More.

What if you were the one to change your family’s legacy? What if you were the one to lead by example once you learned a way forward that is not marked by a scarcity mindset or fear of the unknown? You are worthy of all the great possibilities in this life. We are planning something big for 2023, want you to be a part of it, and we are giving it away for free. Why? Because we want to empower as many women as possible—that is our legacy. More importantly, it is because we believe you when you say “I am meant for more!” And, what I, Carrie, know for sure is 90% of all millionaires and 100% of all billionaires own some type of real estate and will continue to invest in real estate no matter the market conditions, gasoline prices, or cost of bread. Many got started without using a dollar of their own money. If you are ready to explore the possibility of having more in your life, please email me at: carrie@livegive850.com to be the first to know when we announce a series of free events beginning in January 2023 designed to elevate and empower women to build their foundation in real estate. Until then, here is to your peace and prosperity in 2023 & beyond!

tallahassee woman | 36 | december 2022 • january 2023

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WOMEN ON THE MOVE AN INTERVIEW WITH A REAL ESTATE CLOSING GURU:

DEBBIE MILAZZO

Debbie Milazzo, Owner of Advantage Title Group, is making a mark in the title insurance industry with her distinct brand of personalized service. I sat down with Debbie recently to learn what her secret was to building her business and handling the demands of entrepreneurship.

What is your secret for navigating between real estate agents, brokers, buyers, sellers, and lenders to get everyone to the closing table on time and happy?

In my 30-year career, I have had the privilege of working in the legal field assisting some of the most successful litigation attorneys and firms as well as owning and running a real estate brokerage and real estate school. In these positions, I have learned the importance of negotiation and communication. Notifying the parties to a closing about the expected timeline and any issues that arise is the first step in bringing everyone together and solving any problems that arise. My team and I see real estate closings as more than a transaction, we see it as a celebration, and we treat it as such. When I purchased this business from my mentor, 40-year title insurance veteran Becky McNeal, I knew I wanted to build on her foundation of personalized service. Every closing, whether residential or commercial, is treated as an important occasion in our conference room where documents are explained to the signing parties.

You are always saying “teamwork makes the dreamwork.” Do you really believe that?

Absolutely! You can only go so far solo, and I am fortunate to be surrounded by a supportive group of professional women. We have *sponsored content

title processors, title agents, and administrators who work tirelessly to get the job done. We also have an amazing attorney on our team. Rosanna Catalano serves as our General Counsel. Her diverse experience as a successful lobbyist and trial attorney has allowed us to expand into commercial work and more complicated transactions.

You purchased a business that was well established. Were you afraid to make any changes?

Of course I was afraid to make changes but I also knew I wanted to streamline processes in order to grow the business in the future. I updated our technology to prevent cyber-attacks and allow us to work more efficiently.

All of this updated technology, allowed us to recently open a branch office in Central Florida and launch an internet show called “Title Talk. You can watch episodes on our YouTube Channel.

What advice would you give to business owners to ensure their success?

Surround yourself with a dynamic and ambitious team of professionals who have a positive attitude. Work in a field that you enjoy.

Follow the guidance of your mentors. Don’t be afraid of technology and change.

tallahassee woman | 37 | december 2022 • january 2023

WOMEN TO WATCH N E W S | A W A R D S | M I L E S T O N E S

Kim Wilson Kim Wilson is a 2022 35+ World Waterski Championships Competitor, and competed in Bordeaux, France September. The top 20 ranked skiers competed for their country and as individuals.

Gloria Pugh Gloria Pugh, CEO, AMWAT Moving Warehousing Storage, is thrilled to be recognized as a top 100 womenled business in Florida by The Commonwealth Institute.

Bianca Montague Bianca Montague promoted to Executive Director of Southern Shakespeare Company. She will produce a Roman season, featuring Julius Caesar and Antony & Cleopatra, and work with staff to provide Tallahassee with year-round education and events.

Vicki Bradley Vicki Bradley named AFP’s Outstanding Media Personality. She shared, "The best part is helping to tell stories of what’s happening in our communities, along with highlighting all the great things our nonprofits do to take care of families in our communities."

Candice Grause

Ashley Wright Ashley Wright promoted to Chief Financial Officer at RECON Restoration & Reconstruction, LLC.

Candice Grause promoted to Vice President of Communications and Marketing at Tallahassee Community College earlier this year.

Women to Watch includes announcements of promotions, awards, business openings and milestones of business and professional women in Tallahassee.

Submit your announcements for Women to Watch to listings@talwoman.com. tallahassee woman | 38 | december 2022 • january 2023

Christina Neuhauser Partners in Association Management announce promotion of Christina Neuhauser, SHRM-SCP to Executive Director for IdentAlloy and Executive Director / Program Manager with Partners. Christina joined Partners in 2019. Christina holds M.S. degree, Communication, FSU and is a member of FSAE.

great COFFEE

more than

Visit RedEyeCoffee.com to learn more about our catering options, charcuterie boards, and grazing boxes. Thoughtful creations, perfected with love.

Asya M. Griffin Asya M. Griffin is honored to be a Public Relations Fellow; Leon County Property Appraiser Fellowship Innovation and Excellence in Property Assessment Program. A public relations major, FAMU School of Journalism and Graphic Communication, Asya serves as Program Coordinator with J-School Journals.

In-Store // Curbside // Local Delivery // Nationwide Shipping Locations: Midtown Manor // Capital Circle NE

tallahassee woman | 39 | december 2022 • january 2023

From the desk of Dana Brooks

GIRL, LET’S TALK ABOUT CHILD SUPPORT…

DANA@FASIGBROOKS.COM

Girl, let’s talk about child support…

Family law can be so confusing. You may hear something from your sister who just went through a divorce or you know a friend who works in a law firm, so you ask her. Without talking to a lawyer who can look at your unique situation, it’s hard to know what to expect from the legal system. Here are a few helpful pieces of information to consider when it comes to child support, specifically.

Most important is that child support and parenting time are completely different matters. If you want to get in trouble fast with a family law judge, interfere with the other parent’s ability to have free, unfettered, positive contact with your mutual child. Regardless of where the child spends most of his overnights, a child does not belong more to one parent than another. One parent should not have to seek permission from another to see his or her child. To avoid that, courts typically include parenting plans in their final judgments, assuring that each parent fully understands when he or she will enjoy parenting time with the children. If the parties cannot agree on a parenting plan, the court will impose the standard parenting plan adopted in that circuit.

Next, understand that determining child support may be just “running the numbers,” but it’s important to make sure you’re running accurate numbers. Remember – garbage in, garbage out. Child support is determined by Florida Statute. The court looks at what each parent earns, less deductions for certain things, and combines the two. Then it consults the statute for the amount of child support each parent owes for the number of children they have. For example,

in simple terms, if mom earns $60k and dad earns $40k and child support for two children with parents whose combined income is $100k is $1,000 a month, the court will hold mom responsible for $600 a month and dad $400 a month. However, if dad is deliberately underemployed and could easily be making significantly more than $40k a year, that needs to be explored so equity can be achieved. Typically, you can only do that through the help of a family law attorney.

Depending on how much money you’re talking about, it could be well worth it to pay that lawyer and make sure your interests are fully protected.

Finally, for those of you who could really use some steady financial help but don’t want to create problems in your co-parenting relationship by putting your child’s father on child support, please know you’re putting off the inevitable. Even if he’s been good about showing up with money for school clothes, doctor visits, or maybe he covers your rent now and then, if that money is sporadic, it doesn’t help you maintain a stable home for your children. You need to know what you can count on. And believe this – people change. His new girlfriend may not support his giving you money. He may see you in a new relationship and think he doesn’t need to provide any money to your children’s home anymore. But that isn’t fair to your children. You take care of them, their other parent needs to as well. If you get divorced, the court will handle this. If you seek government assistance, you’ll likely hear from the Department of Revenue about pursuing child support from the child’s other parent.

Remember, it’s the obligation of the two parents to care for their children first, before asking anyone else to do that. And you should not have to bear that burden alone. Get legal help, protect your children’s future, and know your rights!

tallahassee tallahassee woman woman || 40 40 || december december 2022 2022 •• january january 2023 2023

*sponsored content

FAVORITE FAMILY TRADITION

Also love the Santa Brunch at The

My favorite thing to do is

Governor’s Club and an annual visit to

entertain family and friends .

Dorothy B. Oven Park with friends.

Hanging childhood Christmas ornaments on the tree and making Christmas cookies.

My favorite tradition is our game night/pajama jam -Marcia Warfel -Susan Stafford

Going to see Dorothy B. Oven Christmas lights every year.

-Lauren Collins

Our favorite family tradition every year

and karaoke night! We play games, eat holiday foods, and honestly I am the only one that really loves the karaoke. Bragging rights to best card player or scrabble player is always up for grabs and don’t let your black card get snatched!

-Dr. Andrea Friall

is listening to classic Christmas songs on

We love getting together cooking, baking and

a vinyl record player while we decorate

sitting by the firepit playing games and talking.

our Christmas tree.

-Michelle Mitcham My mom was the queen of traditions. At thanksgiving we would make a list of things we were grateful for on

Christmas Eve candle light service with hymns and gingerbread house making with family.

-Mary Stafford

-Olivia J. Heyward

a small piece of paper. We would roll it up, tie a bow

-Julia Tjandera

My favorite tradition is to welcome people in who may be away from their families or unable to be with

on it, and hang it on the Christmas tree. The next year

the people they love or who just haven’t found their

we could unroll and remember what we had listed. We

tribe yet. To me, the holiday season is about welcoming

also always do a family puzzle at during the holiday. A

neighbors and learning things we don’t know.

really hard one that takes a month to assemble.

-Dana Brooks

-Lisa Davis

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tallahassee woman | 41 | december 2022 • january 2023

IMAGENAILSPAANDSALON

IN THE LOFTY PEAKS OF PERÚ

TRAVEL

BY REGINA LYNCH-HUDSON | PHOTOGRAPHY BY COURTLAND BIVENS III

tallahassee woman | 42 | december 2022 • january 2023

After trekking many famous wonders of the ancient world, the legendary Machu Picchu summoned my inner sojourner. The historical fortress looms monumental in the mountains of Perú, on an isolated mountain ridge where the Andes Mountains meet the Amazon Rainforest.

Few places around the globe boast the dramatic elevations of Perú’s multitude of majestic peaks.

Stately mountain ranges, like Machu Picchu, showcase soaring summits that hug the heavens, acting as divine channelers of peace. For centuries, the Incas and their successors have worshiped Perú’s mystical peaks. The higher the mountain the more sacred it’s believed to be.

Cross-country exploration unfolded unparalleled beauty: Lima, Perú’s stunning ocean and cliff top views; captivating Cusco (over 11,000 feet above sea level); the “Sacred Valley of the Incas,” a succession of panoramic Andean towns flaunting rugged slopes and snow-capped glaciers; the giant crests of the Urubamba mountain range, providing a spectacular backdrop for the town of Maras; and the breathtaking environs of Lake Titicaca, with its jaw-dropping surface elevation of more than twelve thousand feet.

Enchanting Machu Picchu is rated as the top tourist highlight of Perú, and South America. On a lofty ledge, perched some eight thousand intimidating feet above sea level, I sought to become comfortable with soaring altitude and soul-encompassing space. The steep trek up isn’t for the faint hearted.

I felt like a lone bird fumbling to find her wings. And then, finally—I believed I could fly.

A sacred mountaintop ritual with a Shaman was intensely transformative —and by far the most epic experience of my journey.

The powerful encounter radiated the ancient wisdom of indigenous people—an incredibly profound connection and authentic cross-cultural interaction.

Abar, my Shaman and spirit guide, hailed from Qeros, a remote highland community of Perú, where there is no electricity, roads, hospitals or schools or gas.

For thousands of years, people of the Andes and the tallahassee woman | 43 | december 2022 • january 2023

Amazon have relied on shamans and their herbal medicines to treat common ailments. Shamans are also adept astronomers and forecast the weather and planting calendar by peering into the sky. They revere the moon, sun, stars, planets, mountains, earth, spirits of their ancestors, and Creator of the universe.

When Abar blew his conch shell (representing water) into my abdominal wall it was an emotionally penetrating transmission that shook me to my core. To be cast in an atmosphere of absolute purity, quietude, fresh air, and revitalizing peaks—a cocoon of tranquility and peace not commonly found in today’s world—is ethereally uplifting.

I donned a pendant depicting my great-great-grandmother, a medicine woman-healer, during my cherished time with Abar.

Women wear many hats across cultures: healer, herbalist, nurturer, teacher, cook, caregiver, consoler, even livestock herder. And, no

matter our roots, women are natural nonverbal communicators—a welcoming smile, a reassuring nod, a gesture inviting a walk hand in hand through a village. In the wee Village of Maras, a humble shepherdess shared her skill, cracking her mighty whip to wield mighty control of sheep. Native inhabitants of the Amaru community demonstrated weaving techniques passed down for generations. Fabric designs and symbols became a way to save and pass down stories, local history, and thoughts and ideas to future generations and other communities. Indigenous women are the centerpiece of their villages, where caring for family and community are paramount.

Our National Geographic-style adventure included a boat excursion from Puno, Perú to the Uros “floating” Villages of Lake Titicaca— the highest navigable lake in the world. There are 45 floating islands in total, constructed by typing together totora reeds, which sprout in the lake, forming the base of the islands, and used to build huts, boats, and furnishings.

Veteran publicist and luxury lifestyle experience-aholic, Regina Lynch-Hudson, pens MadameXhales, slated towards the vintage of woman that according to studies: enjoys more time to travel, indulges in longer trips, and selects more extravagant travel accommodations. The exacting taste of MadameXhales finds her exploring destinations, cruises, resorts, spas, and extracurricular activities—where like-minded Xhalers have experienced inner-exhilaration! © Contact MadameXhales: thewritepublicist@earthlink.net tallahassee woman | 44 | december 2022 • january 2023

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tallahassee woman | 45 | december 2022 • january 2023

MIND, BODY & SPIRIT

Courageous Conversations: Prioritizing the “I” in THRIVE

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By Dr. Michelle Mitcham, LMHC, NCC, CCMHC

onsider your life as carefully as you would your favorite plants. Are your roots grounded in soil of nourishment? Are you surrounded by enough light?

Are you watering the seeds that you planted? Sometimes we must confront the nature of ourselves and others so that it is conducive to an environment of growth. We need to engage in courageous conversations with ourselves to thrive.

Rihanna said, “Just live your life. Ain’t got no time for no haters.” What type of life do you want to live? What is your dream? Although not intentionally, we tend to put people in boxes. Whether you or somebody else is trying to step outside of that box, be kind and allow each other to expand into your transformations.

Sometimes with the people closest to us, our dreams, ideas, hopes, and plans may not always feel supported. If you feel as though the people around you are stifling your expansion, consider moving in silence and sharing your milestones after they have been achieved. This is not selfish or secretive, because your energy is yours. All that you aspire for is an extension of your energy.

We even put ourselves into boxes sometimes by overindulging in Instagram and other social media. While social media can be very inspiring, it can also create a very scattered and cluttered mind. Taking a step back from your online presence can help connect you to the blank creative canvas of your mind; a place to go back to the drawing board and revisit your own creative ideas and passions. Some people lose a sense of their own identity when bombarded by the attachments they have on social media. It becomes second nature to compare and consume from the outside world, leading to an overshadowing of what is within.

Taking a break is like turning a light on inside your brain, refocusing energy, tapping into your own voice, and hearing

it a little louder. Let go of who you think you should be and embrace who you are today. As the author Lewis Carroll wrote, “It’s no use going back to yesterday because I was a different person then.”

You are the inventor, creator, and the captain of your life. Step into your power.

5 TIPS FOR YOUR I THRIVE GAME PLAN:

1. A response to declining an engagement or event may simply be, “I am so sorry, but I already have a prior commitment.” It is okay if that commitment is with yourself to recharge and regroup.

2. Give yourself permission to choose your company and with whom you share your space. This may be challenging with long-term relationships and friendships. One way to set boundaries with your space is to not over explain your reasoning. It may seem curt, but you do not owe anyone an explanation. Whether you are having a self-care day or choosing to be alone, that’s okay.

3. Discussing your boundaries can improve your relationships. Being open with these conversations will show you who is for you. True friends respect healthy boundaries, including your time, space, habits, and more.

4. Schedule your time to include self-care and utilize the do not disturb option on your phone, even if this is simply time for journaling and gathering your thoughts. Consider it a routine self-check-in.

5. If you feel that any of the above tips will create turmoil or put you in a risky situation, therapy may help you navigate your thoughts and actions. Reach out to psychologytoday. com for help.

tallahassee woman | 46 | december 2022 • january 2023

A

s you move through the rhythm of your everyday life, have you ever noticed the “it” people? You know, the ones with high energy, optimism, strength, and stamina? They appear to be decisive, sure-footed, measured, and eager to try something new. These are all the marks of “vitality health.” For most of us, vitality health is a work in progress. But if you’re just beginning, where do you start your own journey in building vitality muscles?

VITALITY HEALTH

By Laci Swann

1. Are you focusing on your current self-care plan? Are you eating healthily, exercising, sleeping well, and resting in a way that brings you great joy? If not, this may be the week to reevaluate your current regimen. Consider trying something new like drumming, tapping, or meditation — and by all means, eat real food as much as possible.

2. Are you living in the present or spending too much time focusing on what you could have done, should have done, or should be doing? By simply taking a moment to observe what is going on around you, you often discover positive experiences you may have overlooked.

3. Are you nurturing meaningful relationships? Do you have people who are close to you and support you? Can you be open and vulnerable, and do you feel trusted? If you can’t say this about many of your close relationships, consider focusing on building these connections. When I was in my 30s, I began being intentional about my friend circle, and many are still my friends and cheerleaders today.

4. Are you spending part of your day doing something that you love? Research says that when we do things we love, we enjoy improved confidence, self-esteem, and health markers.

5. Are you nurturing the relationship you have with yourself? Do you trust that person inside of you? Do you treat yourself with acceptance, respect, and appreciation?

Do you ward off negative self-talk and replace it with positive affirmations?

6. Are you feeling grateful and positive today? By looking for the goodness in your life, you will discover richness, meaning, and even celebration. Remember, gratitude at the start and end of your day is recharging your vitality muscles.

tallahassee woman | 48 | december 2022 • january 2023

tallahassee woman | 49 | december 2022 • january 2023

Practicing Care & Compassion

By Jane Marks, LMHC

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E V L O & R E L A I TO N S H P S

ust recently, as Hurricane Ian has ravaged our home state of Florida, we have seen compassion and empathy take center stage. Most of us have simply witnessed the devastation, while others are experiencing the effects more directly, either as survivors or as those taking action to help. Time and again, we have seen inspiring examples of compassion during this difficult time, such as the rescue of family, friends, colleagues, and even animals.

As we navigate these uncertain times, there are steps we can take to practice care and compassion more effectively: 1. Be aware of the causes of suffering, whether it’s an external event, a sudden trauma, a deep loss, or simply the frustration of not meeting your goals. By becoming more aware, we’re better able to tap into resilience, stress management, and action.

2. Never blame or shame anyone for what went wrong.

Instead, be sensitive to what may be causing the problem.

This perspective often results in solutions for the victim and a sense of accomplishment for you.

3. Bear witness to the suffering and pain of others and have the courage to offer help when needed. How many of us avoid voicing our feelings and regret that we did nothing?

4. Embrace the potential for personal growth. Practicing compassion nurtures awareness, empathy, distress tolerance, and, for most people, persistence and skillbuilding.

The science says that people who are more compassionate and comforting have more personal satisfaction, better physical and mental health, and stronger relationship connections. So, let’s be deliberate. Let’s practice consideration for friends, family, and strangers. Let’s communicate empathy and warmth and go out of our way to be selfless. In fact, let’s commit to practicing one random act of kindness this holiday season. Imagine the impact we can make.

tallahassee woman | 50 | december 2022 • january 2023

W.E. INSPIRE Brighten Someone’s Day

By Jane Marks

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ow often have you felt that warm, lovely feeling when someone spoils you, or blesses you with an unexpected gesture? Well, this past birthday has brought me an abundance of such special moments. Through texts, calls, letters, cards, gifts, and emails, I have been showered with one continuous celebration after another.

It occurred to me: what if we showered this kind of positive, celebratory energy on our family, friends, and even strangers—at least occasionally? Imagine the shift that would happen in terms of connection, maturation, and even problem-solving. A new analysis of decades of research says that when we celebrate others and express joy and kindness, we are healthier and happier. This leads not only to sustaining old relationships, but also to building new ones—and fostering a community of cooperation.

In addition, when you take a moment to wish a person a kind or celebratory thought, it leads to higher self-esteem and a greater sense of self-efficacy. These gestures distract us from the overwhelming responsibilities and demands that can often drive our days.

I want everyone to feel as special as I do since my birthday.

Consider brightening someone’s day with a kind word—it takes so little, but means so much. Maybe you’ll have the chance to use one of these simple—yet heartfelt—phrases: You’re the best.

You made my day.

I cannot thank you enough.

You are awesome in every way.

Your kindness means everything to me.

Finally, to my burden-bearing, laughter-sharing friends, and family: a huge heart and hug-filled thanks.

tallahassee woman | 51 | december 2022 • january 2023