Tallahassee Woman Magazine August - September 2022

AUGUST / SEPTEMBER 2022

LEVEL UP WITH

a r i K

DERRYBERRY

Fall Resolutions Clearing Mental Noise Legal: Workplace Misconduct

Invisible Disabilities Arroz con Pollo!

Crunchy Wrap Tacos

Happy Aging Weight Loss Woes Dealing With Shame & Guilt

WHEN IT COMES TO MY BABY,

I DON’T PLAY GAMES.

While they battle over their grandson’s name, I’m focused on what matters: choosing the safest hospital for my baby’s delivery.

And that’s TMH. Tallahassee Memorial is home to the region’s only Level III NICU and High-Risk Labor and Delivery Unit. TMH has the most advanced care for both of us, so I can rest easy knowing I made the safest decision for baby George…or Thomas.

And that’s all that really matters.

Decide for yourself at

TMH.ORG/WeDeliver

Here for the moments that matter most.

Here is a place in our heart.

Where caring and sharing build relationships that last a lifetime.

We’re Synovus, and we see banking as an opportunity to lift our community and the people who live here.

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Synovus Bank, Member FDIC.

CONTENTS

10. LETTER FROM PUBLISHER 12. LETTER FROM EDITOR

CULTURE & CUISINE

14. ARROZ CON POLLO 16. CRUNCHY WRAP TACOS 18. SOUL OF SOUTHSIDE TALLAHASSEE

LIVING LOCAL

20. SWEET HOME TALLAHASSEE: CARRIE BOYD 22. W.E. ELEVATE: CAITLIN YANCEY MOORE

BUSINESS & LEADERSHIP 32. SAYING YES 34. LEGAL WRITES: DANA BROOKS

TRAVEL

36. MADAME XHALES AT GLOBAL SHOPPING SITES 24. KIRA DERRYBERRY

MIND, BODY & SPIRIT

40. THE MANY HATS WE WEAR 41. ESTABLISHING A HEALTHY BACK-TO-SCHOOL ROUTINE FOR MOM 42. BOUNCING BACK 44. CLEARING MENTAL NOISE 45. HAPPY AGING 46. WEIGHT LOSS WOES 47. CAREGIVER BURNOUT

LOVE & RELATIONSHIPS 48. INVISIBLE DISABILITIES 50. DEALING WITH SHAME & GUILT

W.E. INSPIRE

51. FALL RESOLUTIONS

24. ABOUT THE COVER: | PHOTOGRAPHY: KIRA DERRYBERRY | MUA: IMAGE BY LISA | HAIR: 850 SALON | WARDROBE: PRIVATE COLLECTION

tallahassee woman | 4 | august • september 2022

Tallahassee

WOM A N

MAGAZINE

August - September 2022 • Volume 17 • Issue 5

Publisher | Editor-in-Chief Dr. Michelle Mitcham

EXECUTIVE EDITOR Laci Swann EDITORIAL ASSISTANT Jennifer Knauf EDITORIAL ASSISTANT | WRITER Ashley Dickey CREATIVE CONSULTANT Briana Smith

CREATIVE DIRECTOR Olivia Heyward DIRECTOR OF PUBLIC RELATIONS Marcia Warfel DIRECTOR OF LEADERSHIP INITIATIVES Paula DeBoles-Johnson DIRECTOR OF LUXURY TRAVEL Regina Lynch Hudson

RELATIONSHIP MANAGER Cristina Carter RELATIONSHIP MANAGER SarahVi Pate INTERNS Chambers Miller

ADVERTISING For advertising, visit talwoman.com, call (850) 893-9624, or e-mail ads@TalWoman.com.

TALLAHASSEE WOMAN is a publication of Mitcham Media Group LLC Post Office Box 16616 | Tallahassee, FL 32317-3401 Phone (850) 893-9624 | Fax (850) 254­-7038 | info@TalWoman.com Tallahassee Woman is published six times per year and is distributed on a complimentary basis throughout Tallahassee and the surrounding communities.

TALWOMAN.COM The information in this publication is presented in good faith.

The publisher does not guarantee accuracy or assume responsibility for errors or omissions.

Copyright © 2022 Mitcham Media Group LLC. All rights reserved. Reproduction, in part or in whole, without expressed written consent of the Publisher is prohibited.

tallahassee woman | 6 | august • september 2022

Photo by Kira Derryberry Photography

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CONTRIBUTORS DR. LORI GONZALEZ WRITER DR. DAWN ERICSSON Dr. Lori Gonzalez earned WRITER a Ph.D. in Sociology foDr. Dawn Ericsson is a cusing on juvenile justice graduate of Yale Univerfrom FSU. Currently, SeLISA DAVIS sity and State University nior Policy and Research WRITER of New York’s medical Analyst with the Data Lisa Davis is a wife, school. In 2016, she was Foundation (Washingmommy of four, beauty voted Tampa’s #1 OB/ ton, DC) she leverages blogger, Freelance GYN and is certified in her experience on aging, Makeup Artist, and Hormone Replacement health policy and disparOwner of Image by Lisa. Therapy, Sexual Dysities in the criminal and God made her girly function, and a multitude juvenile justice systems and she loves sharing of Aesthetics services. to provide expertise on her tips and tricks with Currently, Dr Ericsson is data policies. other women so that they the Medical Director at can look and feel their Age Rejuvenation. absolute best. For more information about Lisa visit imagebylisa.com.

CRISTINA CARTER WRITER Cristina Carter, owner/ founder of Tallahassee Notary, LLC, holds a Master of Arts in International Relations from FSU and has taught several courses there.

She also co-directed/coproduced, “Las Chica’s”.

JANE MARKS WRITER DORI GOMES Jane Marks, licensed psyWRITER chotherapist “life coach” Dori Gomes is a with more than 50 years passionate writer, specializing in child and speaker, educator, and adolescent behavior. Host advocate. As a former for “From the Heart” and journalist and adjunct the Mental Health and professor, she merged Wellness expert for the her passions of writing, Black News Channel. research, and mentorship Jane is a motivational to form her company speaker / lecturer with a which offers various focus on mental health writing, consulting, and and adolescents. editorial services. www.dorigomes.com

REGINA LYNCHHUDSON WRITER Veteran publicist and luxury lifestyle experience-aholic, Regina Lynch-Hudson, pens MadameXhales, slated towards the vintage of woman that enjoys more time to travel. MadameXhales explores destinations, cruises, resorts, spas and extracurricular activities.

THAIS GONZALEZ WRITER Thais Gonzalez is a retired Tallahassee Spanish teacher.

She taught over 5,000 students in the community throughout her career. Leading students to first place at the annual regional Modern Language Expo competition on multiple occasions she is well known in her field.

tallahassee woman | 8 | august • september 2022

KIRA DERRYBERRY PHOTOGRAPHER Kira Derryberry is a Tallahassee-based portrait photographer specializing in families, headshots and boudoir and commercial photography. She books locally in Tallahasee and is available for travel worldwide. View Kira's portfolio online at kiraderryberry.com

TAYLORE MAXEY WRITER Taylore Maxey, an effective communicator and public relations professional, manages executive accounts for Sachs Media.

Raised in Tallahassee, Maxey has nearly 20 years of experience in communications that she utilizes towards her passion for the arts and empowering the youth.

tallahassee woman | 9 | august • september 2022

A TIME TO

Reflect, Reset, Rethink, Retool PUBLISHER

R

eflection is the key to success. Thought leaders, psychologists, and mental health professionals encourage others to slow down and take time to process their thoughts, actions, and intentions. The practice of reflection allows us to see things more clearly and set new goals.

Are you living a congruent life and walking the talk?

Reflection and meditation provide a window for fresh perspectives and often lead to new opportunities and blessings in our lives. The exercise of rethinking all aspects of our lives may cause us to realize that additional skill sets may be needed to bring our dreams and goals to fruition. Perhaps professional development skills training is in order or another college degree or certification. Reflection may also lead to a reset. Have you ever felt like pushing a magic reset button to change your circumstances, job, or a relationship?

Reflection is a critical component to live your best quality life. A lot has happened in America, around the world and in our cities. We are still experiencing, as a result partly by the COVID-19 concerns, job dissatisfaction, employees desiring to work remotely, which resulted in the Big Quit

Photo by Kira Derryberry Photography

tallahassee woman | 10 | august • september 2022

or Great Resignation. The new normal is still a question mark, as millions rethink their goals, careers and do the reset.

I can’t believe how fast this year is going and it seems there isn’t enough time to digest everything.

I am so excited that the phenomenal Kira Derryberry on the cover! The woman behind the camera took time out of her busy schedule to shoot herself and talk to me about her life and her philosophy of Level Up. Don’t miss the articles on health, mental wellness, that provide tools for reflection. Many are going back to school or work and trying to prepare mentally, emotionally, and physically for this season of change. I encourage you to seek out time to reflect and do a reset so that you are equipped for whatever is next – whatever you choose. Remember, the only constant in life is change.

With Reflection,

Dr. Michelle Mitcham President | Publisher

Executive Advisor Strategic Planning Sales and Sales Management Fundraising Board Recruitment,

Development and Governance Human Resources And more…

"As the board chair of a regional non-profit, I've had the wonderful opportunity to work with Mickey Moore in his role as a consultant for our organization. His counsel and support over the past year have been invaluable - from building a strategic plan and development process to navigating critical transition periods for our organization. Mickey truly understands nonprofit management and fundraising inside and out, and his customer service is unmatched. I would highly recommend Mickey as a consultant to any organization looking to elevate how they fundraise, grow and operate."

Liz Shawen, Former Board Chair, Epilepsy Agency of the Big Bend

MONOGRAMMING AND MORE

Apparel · Clothing · Screen Printing Embroidery · Gift Shop

850-514-3148 2030 Thomasville Rd, Suite #1 Tallahassee, FL. 32308 WWW.MMMONOGRAMMING.COM tallahassee woman | 11 | august • september 2022

“We can prepare, prepare, prepare, but we will never know what tomorrow holds.”

EX E CUTIVE EDITOR

-Laci Swann

resistance, that you and your loved ones are welcomed by change in a digestible, healthy way.

As a mama of two (including a special needs kiddo), business owner, and new student in the Ph.D. program at FSU, I would be lying if I said I wasn’t slightly anxious about the unknown (who am I kidding? I’m extremely anxious!) But I’m holding on to my faith, tapping into my confidence, and leaning on my tribe. I can’t do this alone, nor do I want to try.

Cheers to change, new experiences, and wonderful memories.

Forever thinking outside of the box, Laci Swann, Executive Editor

I

t seems as though we just celebrated the end of another school year, and yet here we are, preparing for the upcoming year, not only for our children but in our lives as well. We as women – businesspeople, parents, and students alike – are entering a new fall season, and although we’ve experienced many fall seasons before, no two seasons of life are ever alike. We can prepare, prepare, prepare, but we will never know what tomorrow holds.

As we each have different titles and responsibilities, our to-do lists, concerns, challenges, and goals differ; however, we share a commonality that bonds us together – we want to experience an ease of life, a life that breeds emotional safety, births tangible goals, and creates and sustains peace and happiness.

This fall season, I pray you to walk a path of least

Laci is the Principal of Sharp Editorial, an award-winning editorial + small business consulting + branding design firm. Since 2016, Sharp Editorial has served thousands of clients, including professional athletes, television stars, Fortune 500 companies, and a range of other professionals. Laci is passionate about ensuring that her table always has room for others, encouraging women to pull up a seat and stay awhile.

tallahassee woman | 12 | august • september 2022

Celebrating National

HISPANIC HERITAGE MONTH September 15 - October 15, 2022

tallahassee woman | 13 | august • september 2022

Arroz Con Pollo CULTURE & CUISINE

(Spanish Style Chicken and Rice)

T

his is a recipe of festivities. When it comes to celebrations, Spanish people like to enjoy “arroz con pollo.” I have tried different versions and eventually came up with this one. I usually call it my “comfort food,” because it brings memories of love, family and friends having fun together and enjoying a good meal. I hope you enjoy it.

INGREDIENTS: 1 chicken (4 lbs) cut in pieces 2 tbsp. olive oil 3 cloves fresh garlic minced 1 cup diced onion 1 cup diced green pepper 1 packet all purpose seasoning with pepper 2 packets seasoning with annatto and coriander 1 extra large chicken bouillon 1 1/2 cups extra long grain rice 3 cups water 1 small jar fancy pimientos for garnish.

PREPARATION: Shake all purpose seasoning on chicken. In a large pot add olive oil and cook chicken until brown on both sides.

Add minced garlic, onions and green peppers.

Cook in low heat, approx. 5 to 7 minutes until vegetables are soft.

Add water, chicken bouillon and annatto/coriander seasoning.

Add rice, stir, cover and cook In low heat for 30 minutes or until you find rice tender.

Fluff with a fork and garnish with pimiento strips.

tallahassee woman | 14 | august • september 2022

By Thais Gonzalez

Enjoy!

A GREAT GRAB AND GO MEAL

CRUNCHY WRAP TACOS

By Rebecca Weaver

"Healthy and nutritious, crunchy wrap tacos are a powerhouse of protein and nutrients needed to keep you and the kiddos going strong for those busy school days and event-filled evenings."

I

t’s that time of year again… Back to School! While these very words may stress parents out, back to school doesn’t have to be a season of dread. Keep life easy breezy with simple meal ideas you and your family can devour while on the go. This crunchy wrap taco recipe is a great “grab and go” meal that can be enjoyed while en route to soccer or dance practice, or during those lunch time rushes. Healthy and nutritious, crunchy wrap tacos are a powerhouse of protein and nutrients needed to keep you and the kiddos going strong for those busy school days and event-filled evenings. You have enough on your plate with the school year upon us, so take one thing off by enjoying these tasty handhelds you can eat on the go!

INGREDIENTS

1lb ground chicken, turkey, beef, or your favorite plantbased meat substitute 1 15oz can black beans (rinsed and drained) 1 8oz package ready to eat pre-diced vegetable trinity (tomatoes, green peppers, onions) 1 15oz jar salsa con queso 1 8oz sour cream 1 8oz guacamole 1 package taco seasoning 1 package flour tortillas (Burrito size) 1 package corn tostadas or street tacos corn tortillas Olive or coconut oil Optional: Jalapeño peppers or black olives

tallahassee woman | 16 | august • september 2022

imately 2 Tbsp of olive or coconut oil to the pan with heat set to medium to medium-low heat.

8. Start folding your tortilla by bringing in one side up to the center and layer each new fold on top of the previous fold as you go. (The idea is

to make your folds as tight as possible so you cannot see the interior ingredients. I usually get four to five folds and all my goodies are tucked nicely inside.)

9. Place the crunchy wrap taco folded side down in your warmed oil. Let fry for about

DIRECTIONS

1. In skillet, brown the ground chicken, turkey, beef or plant-based meat alternative until cooked through. Add taco seasoning and black beans, stirring to combine seasoning and beans in with meat. Cook an additional 5 min or until warm; remove mixture from heat.

Preparing Crunchy Wrap Tacos… Now it is time to pretend we are making a layered pizza!!

2. Place one burrito size flour tortilla down on large plate. Spoon and spread 2 Tbsp of salsa con queso onto tortilla. Place about 2.5 Tbsp of ground meat and bean mixture on top of queso.

3. Sprinkle on your favorite taco sauce. If you are using sour cream, place a dollop of sour cream on top of your taco sauce.

4. Place one corn tostada on top of meat and taco sauce. (Note: if you are using street tacos, you will need to fry the street tacos to get them nice and crispy prior to assembling the crunchy wrap tacos. I fry mine in about ½ cup coconut oil for a few minutes on each side until they turn golden brown and then drain on a paper towel.)

5. Spread about 2 Tsp of guacamole onto corn tostada.

Add about 1.5 Tbsp of diced vegetables. (You can also use your favorite salsa if you would like but be careful not get a lot of the salsa juice in your crunchy wrap taco or it will be soggy and hard to fry.)

3-4 minutes or until golden brown. (I use a spatula to lift it up slightly and take a little peek so I know when to turn it. This could be helpful as everyone’s stove temperatures may vary) 10. Once the folded side has browned, use a spatula to carefully flip the crunchy wrap taco over. (It can be helpful to use a second spatula or a pair of kitchen tongs to guide the taco until you get used to flipping.) Brown the bottom of your crunchy wrap taco 3-4 minutes.

11. Remove from pan and set aside to cool for a few minutes before you can grab and be on your way! If you are enjoying this meal around your dinner table, crunchy wrap tacos can be enjoyed with your favorite chipotle dipping sauce. I make a homemade sauce using 1.5 cup ranch dressing and 2 Tsp of Chipotle pepper sauce.

Special Notes: Crunchy wrap tacos make great leftovers and can be wrapped in foil and placed in the oven or toaster oven the next day for a quick and easy

6. Once you have assembled your tower of deliciousness, it is time to fold and fry!

7. Set another skillet on the stove and add approx-

tallahassee woman | 17 | august • september 2022

lunch.

This entrée can be spiced up with your favorite add-ons… feel free to add in jalapeño peppers, banana peppers, black olives or anything else that excites your taste buds!

REMEMBER… KEEP IT SIMPLE, HEALTHY, AND FLAVORFUL!!

HAVE A GREAT SCHOOL YEAR!

M

ark your calendars for the 3rd Annual Soul of Southside Arts and Humanities Festival (SOS) to be held May 13-21, 2023. SOS is an intergenerational festival that celebrates the rich and diverse history that exists in Tallahassee’s Southside.

By Taylore Maxey

“The Soul of Southside Festival offers something for all people and all ages,” said Christic Henry, Festival Chair. “The Festival is a great way to showcase the rich history of Tallahassee’s Southside and bring the community together for the love of arts, music, and so much more. We are so thankful to be able to bring this cultural event to Tallahassee for the third year.”

This family-friendly event features neighborhood history tours, a 5k run, Youth Entrepreneurship EXPO and Forum, and food truck and festival vendor expo opportunities. SOS also hosts a festival with diverse entertainment that culminates with a musical headliner act and light show honoring Southside neighborhood trailblazers and community icons.

“The Soul of Southside Festival has rapidly become the premier event showcasing Southern Tallahassee,” said Dr. Henry Lewis, former FAMU interim president and SOS Festival Community Ambassador.

“Highlighting the history, culture, pride, successes, and opportunities from this part of the city. Last year’s festival bought together diverse participants from all walks of life to discover, learn and enjoy the vibrancy of Tallahassee's Southside."

The Festival offers in-person and virtual participation experiences for all that blend education and entertainment and explores the historical influence of Southside and its residents on Tallahassee’s economic and human development.

For additional information, visit www.sosfesttlh.com.

tallahassee woman | 18 | august • september 2022

tallahassee woman | 19 | august • september 2022

SWEET HOME TALLAHASSEE

GETTING TO KNOW CARRIE BOYD

By Cristina Carter

LIVING LOCAL

What inspires you?

I come from a line of women who were firsts in their male dominated fields. My mother and grandmother’s legacy are part of my foundation and inspiration. I also enjoy giving back to my community and while providing policy reforms for others that don’t have the same opportunities I do to make a difference and change. I recognize my privilege and want to use it to help others succeed.

What keeps you going?

In addition to helping others, my family keeps me going. If it weren’t for the support I receive from my husband and children I wouldn’t be who and am today. I want to make a brighter future for the next generation so my children can live in a world with equal educational and leadership opportunities.

If you could give one piece of advice to women in today’s age, what would it be?

Keep going, no matter what barrier is placed before you. Surround yourself with positive like-minded people and set a realistic goal for yourself. Where one door closes another one (or two) opens. Stay focused!

Carrie Boyd

C

arrie Boyd is the type of woman we should all know - or want to get to know. She has been a powerful advocate for women and girls for nearly two decades with experience ranging from a nonprofit executive, private practice attorney, lobbyist, real estate professional, business leader, political campaigns director and elected prosecutor. Being exposed to people from all walks of life in such roles; Carrie understands what women need and how to strive to obtain the rights we deserve.

During our interview I realized she is not only a breath of fresh air – but also a true warrior.

What advice do you have for women who are struggling with workforce barriers?

Be proactive, find women (and men) who are allies and surround yourself with them. Have a goal in mind and go after it. Visualize what you see yourself doing in your dream career and go to events that such people are attending. Make it a point to talk to them and reach out to them after your initial meeting. Following up is key.

Remember, every warrior has suffered and every one of us has a story to tell, including you.

tallahassee woman | 20 | august • september 2022

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tallahassee woman | 21 | august • september 2022

W.E. ELEVATE Women Empowered Elevate

“Caitlin Yancey Moore is definitely a woman who elevates other women. I know firsthand at her core she is a woman who possesses a heart of service, selflessness, love, and kindness. The bedrock of her existence is to empower others through her community service, philanthropy, and strong business acumen. To know her is to know your moral compass is centered when she is around. I don’t know a stronger woman.”

-Dionte Gavin | Senior Operations Director/Leon County Division of Tourism/Visit Tallahassee

C

aitlin Yancey Moore, a native of Tallahassee, has strong roots in her hometown, tied into numerous professional and philanthropic organizations throughout the community. She is a very proud mother of two children, Ivy (12) and Wesley (4). Caitlin is Vice President in Residential Lending at one of the area’s oldest local banks, TC Federal Bank. Caitlin began her career in finance in 2006 and has excelled in various fields within the finance world over the years. She found her greatest passion lies in residential lending and helping her clients realize their new home dreams. Her tremendous work ethic, along with her commitment to exceptional service, has led her to be a top producer in her industry, continuously landing in the top 1% of residential lenders in the Nation.

Caitlin is equally dedicated to giving back to her community, an active volunteer and community servant, serving on boards and in leadership positions for several nonprofits. She serves on the Board of Directors for 2-1-1 of the Big Bend, and on the Power Five for United Way, and has served

in various capacities served with The Junior League of Tallahassee, Emerging Leaders, and Women United, as well as an active volunteer and supporter of HOPE Community, CCYS, Big Bend Cares, Habitat for Humanity and many more. She serves professionally as the Past President of the Mortgage Bankers Association of Tallahassee (2020), and Executive Board Member of the Mortgage Bankers Association of Florida. Additionally, she is an affiliate member of the Tallahassee Board of Realtors, Tallahassee Builders Association, The Greater Tallahassee Chamber of Commerce, Tallahassee Network of Young Professionals, and a graduate of Leadership Tallahassee, Class 38, and has most recently been elected to the Board of Governors for the Governors Club.

What do you think are the keys that lead to your success?

I always lead with my values.

I absolutely love to work, but even more than that to fill every minute of my day with purpose and dedicate my time to causes I believe in. If you work to benefit others and the things

you love, you live a fulfilled life.

As an empowered woman that empowers other women, what advice do you have for people wanting to make a difference or serve their community?

Find organizations you believe in, that align with your heart.

Do your research and make sure the mission of the organization is the mission of your soul. Don’t over-extend yourself but trust me when I say the time creates itself when you are giving back. I am active in the Junior League of Tallahassee and 211 Big Bend, and the United Way so I would highly recommend any of them if you were looking for a place to start!

What goals do you have for your own future and for the future of the Tallahassee community?

Tallahassee is a wonderful place with an incredibly bright future, and we must rally behind efforts to make our community stronger tomorrow than it is today. I want my children to see and believe that I am playing an active role in doing exactly that.

tallahassee woman | 22 | august • september 2022

Caitlin Yancy Moore Caitlin is an excellent mother & mortgage lender, a mediocre golf player, and an avid Adele fan. But more than all of those traits, Caitlin is an extraordinary woman. She is one of the hardest working, most selfless individuals I have ever met, a truly beautiful person, a generous friend, and a bright light in a sea of darkness.

The world, and Tallahassee specifically, are made better by her presence, and the world is a better place because of her and her service to others. To know her is to love her and to know more love and kindness in your own life than before. From her friend – for all the love that you put into this world, you deserve it back in spades CYM. Mom is the most important and greatest honor of her life. She truly is the mother every movie tries to portray and the one every woman aspires to be. Her role as mother is evident in every aspect of her life too, she teaches her kids that the only time you should look into your neighbor’s cup is to ensure that they have enough and to do something if they do not, and that doing something good can always lead to something better.

She lives all the ideals and morals she instills as a mother and demonstrates these in her work and in the community daily.

– Quote from Cate Saunders

HARNESS IN. THEN, LET LOOSE. Tree-To-Tree Adventures is an aerial obstacle course complete with 16 ziplines situated high in the canopy above the Tallahassee Museum. Come climb, tightrope and zip your way to family fun with us today.

tallahassee woman | 23 | august • september 2022

tallahassee woman | 24 | august • september 2022

PHOTOGRAPHY: KIRA DERRYBERRY | MUA: IMAGE BY LISA | HAIR: 850 SALON | WARDROBE: PRIVATE COLLECTION

COVER

a r i K

LEVEL UP WITH DERRYBERRY

By Dr. Michelle Mitcham | Photography By Kira DerryBerry

C

reativity and compassion are the first two words I think of, after brilliant and beautiful when thinking of Kira Derryberry. I first spent time getting to know Kira in October 2018 when she was shooting me for the cover of Tallahassee Woman Magazine. I had heard how awesome she was as a human being as well as a marvelous photographer, but that day, I had the first-hand experience of connecting with her. Kira took her time to listen to the concept for the cover, and also listened with her heart. I am still so honored that she shot my cover for the December issue that year. She captured the vision of the former owner and editor precisely!

During that visit, Kira and I learned that we are both half Indian and are passionate about empowering others. It was effortless to work with Kira and she captured the winning photos with great precision and expertise. To watch Kira in action is art in motion.

I admire her confidence and next level determination and excellence. It is evident in the thousands of photos of individuals and families she captures year round. Kira has shot over 30 TWM covers prior to this

self-portrait of sorts. I knew that I wanted to feature her on the cover - to show the genius behind the camera, who captures most of all of the TWM covers, and this moment was organic and now is the right time. Kira is a leader in her profession and is paving the way for women in leadership, by example.

Her philosophy is Level Up. Kira believes that there are always ways to take your talent to the next level as we are evolving incessantly. It is my honor to feature Kira in this issue of TWM and celebrate all that she is and will continue to do. She is a RED (resilient, empowered and determined) woman on all accounts. Her philosophy resonates with mine and I am in her and fan club. I am sure that if you know her, then you already are a fan. If you do not know her, it is my sincere wish that you get the opportunity to meet this trailblazer! Introducing the Level Up Queen, Kira Derryberry.

ly, inspirations? You have a diverse background. Do you celebrate all aspects of your culture?

Publisher: Who is the woman behind the camera?

Honestly, I’m just a big nerd who likes to photograph people.

Kira: Tell us about your early life, fami-

Publisher: How did you develop your love for photography and creativity?

tallahassee woman | 25 | august • september 2022

I grew up in a mixed race family in Huntsville, AL. My father is white and my mother is Indo-Guyanese. They met and married within a week of knowing each other when my mother was just 19.

My mom left Guyana for the opportunities that the United States affords all immigrants. She taught me the value of a strong work ethic and how to seize the opportunities that came her way. I see my own commitment to building my business as a direct result of her support.

I met my wonderful husband Kevin while at the University of Alabama and together we have our 13 year old daughter, Lucy.

Kira: My dad was a big inspiration for my photography and creativity. He gave me my

COVER

tallahassee woman | 26 | august • september 2022

tallahassee woman | 27 | august • september 2022

first camera and taught me the basics. He has always been a jack of all trades who dabbled in photography, sculpture, web design, carpentry, small engine repair, you name it. All of his pursuits prepared him for his current work as a property flipper.

Both of my parents encouraged me to pursue my passions and build a business around something I care about.

Publisher: Was there something that you were passionate about doing before pursuing photography?

Kira: Photography has been a passion since I could hold a camera.

I worked on the yearbook staff in high school, and attended the University of Alabama to study photography and digital art.

But I’ve always worked, from selling makeup in the mall, to my first job after high school working tech support for an internet startup company. At Alabama, I took advantage of the New College program to design my own degree focused on both photography and web design work. I worked on campus in the communications office, building websites for faculty members.

My husband and I moved to Tallahassee for him to attend grad school, and I worked for five years in web design for a local marketing company. There I added sales skills to my web design talents. In 2010, I launched Kira Derryberry Photography out of an extra room in a friend’s home and I’ve never looked back.

Publisher: You teach the fundamentals and expert techniques in photography. You were also in

leadership is president of your national Association? Tell us more about the journey and how you got to this point?

Kira: As a small business owner, I knew that if I wanted to be successful, then I would have to improve my skills. When I first started my business, I had so many questions about how to improve, and how to go about talking to other photographers. I found the Tallahassee Professional Photographers Guild and saw the value in joining a community of local photographers all working to better themselves.

Engaging with TPPG led to the Florida Professional Photographers and the Professional Photographers of America. PPA is the second oldest professional organization in the country with over 34,000 members all committed to improving and mentoring photographers to improve our business. I’m proud to say that I serve as the Vice President of PPA and will become President of PPA in 2023.

Publisher: I know lots of people ask this but what’s your why?

Kira: What’s my why? Well, I think it could best be described in terms of a program I have taught over the years called, Level Up. Growing up interested in computers also meant interested in video games, and I loved idea of “leveling up”.

You’re never finished, the game is never over. You get to keep improving. I always try to find a new way to improve in my craft and in my business. For photographers in the industry, I manage a Facebook group called Level Up, where I explore new ways to improve.

Publisher: You’ve now shot over

tallahassee woman | 28 | august • september 2022

tallahassee woman | 29 | august • september 2022

COVER

“

You’re never finished, the game is never over. You get to keep improving. I always try to find a new way to improve in my craft and in my business.”

30 covers for Tallahassee Woman Magazine. How did you develop your special approach for highlighting women?

Kira: I have had the honor of photographing so many incredible Tallahassee women.

In my photography, I hope to show what makes them strong, capable, leaders in our community. Each shot is designed with the featured woman in mind to enhance their natural beauty and show the world how they see themselves.

Publisher: TWM is honored to celebrate you. What’s your message to other women they would like to own their own business and pursue a career in the creative space?

Kira: Owning your own business means that no one on your team will work as hard as you. You need to put in the work and commit yourself to learning what it takes to be successful and don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t do it. Never stop trying to level up.

Publisher: Tell us about this amazing cover and the rich colors? What motivated you to take this unique and brilliant shot?

Tell us about the photo with you from different perspectives? What is the meaning behind it?

Kira: In constantly trying to level up, I

wanted to try something a little different with a series of pop art portraits that explore color theory and how different colors evoke different moods. This cover relies on a triadic color scheme, with three colors equally spaced apart on the color wheel representing three separate moods all working in harmony.

Orange evokes creativity, blue evokes responsibility and trust, while magenta conveys compassion. This pop art style allows us to convey a sense of fun while exploring the creativity, responsibility and compassion that I hope make up not only my approach to business, but the rest of my life as well.

As to the multiple perspective photo. I had to laugh at this one. While I contract with some amazing professional photographers in Tallahassee, I often work as a one-woman shop. So, I put myself in different roles to show that small business owners often have to do it all.

Publisher: What’s the most fascinating job you’ve ever done? What makes the shot?

Kira: Photography has exposed me to a number of incredible opportunities, from seeing my work reflected on buses and billboards across the Panhandle, to seeing the covers of Tallahassee Woman Magazine and Professional Photographer. Working with

local actors and Marsha Doll Models even led to an opportunity to appear alongside Marsha on an episode of TLC’s Welcome to Plathville.

In every opportunity, what makes the shot is knowing the technical aspects of the job, but also having built a rapport and earning the trust of the person in the shot.

Publisher: What’s next?

In 2023, I will become the first woman of color to serve as President of Professional Photographers of America. I am honored to lead PPA at a time when the demographics of our membership is changing and more women are starting their own photography businesses than ever before.

While Kira Derryberry Photography continues to be a successful business, I also have the opportunity to teach and share my story through the Get Your Shoot Together podcast, I started with my friend and current PPA Chair, Mary Fisk Taylor.

Publisher: What’s the question that you wish people would ask you?

Kira: Do you want to join my band? Seriously, we have a karaoke set up in the house and I’m constantly inviting friends over to sing. I would love the opportunity to sing more often, I just need to find the time!

tallahassee woman | 30 | august • september 2022

tallahassee woman | 31 | august • september 2022

BUSINESS & LEADERSHIP

SAYING YES

By Jane Marks

O

ver the past few years, saying no has created more mental health stability, helped us set boundaries, and given us control over our life and well-being. However, did you know that saying yes at the right time is also an essential part of self-care? Intentionally saying yes can open up possibilities that you may have never imagined.

Saying yes, for many of us, means stepping outside of our comfort zone and pursuing new opportunities. When we say yes, we often accept challenges that spur personal growth. Opportunity does not always wait for perfect timing, so let’s remember the power that lies in saying yes:

• Saying yes invites collaboration, partnership and discussions in areas of new growth. It creates opportunities for positive—and even difficult—conversations that most of us stay away from. I can’t tell you how many times I have invited my dance students to join me in a performance only for them to discover their own confidence and joy. I share this because the secret discovery is that it’s okay to try and succeed, learn, and even fail.

• Saying yes often teaches us to be risk-tolerant. How many times have we experienced regret and robbed ourselves of an opportunity that might have been life-changing? By saying yes, we’re more likely to try new things—and view our successes and failures as learning opportunities.

• Saying yes means that you may discover new passions and explore things that interest you.

tallahassee woman | 32 | august • september 2022

• Saying yes attracts positivity. It allows us not only to accept compliments and harness the confidence that people have in us, but also to give that gift to those around us.

• By saying yes, we often create meaning by our “yes” actions: serving, creating, beautifying, and caregiving.

• Saying yes and living life on our terms promotes healthy choices—leading us to be more intentional with our sleep, diet, and exercise.

Finally, saying yes can make for more enjoyable Mondays. On Sunday nights, so many of us feel that sinking feeling of, “Ugh, tomorrow is Monday.” If Mondays are a real struggle for you, take time to say yes this week. Try something different, shake things up, and be inspired by “yes.

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Dr. Michelle A. Mitcham is thrilled to empower women, teams and individuals with strategies for success in both the workplace and relationships. As CEO of Courageous Conversations, a counseling, coaching, and consulting practice, Dr, Mitcham coaches on leadership, workplace resilience, emotional intelligence, imposter syndrome, relationship building, women’s empowerment, diversity, equity and inclusion, conflict resolution, mindfulness, and team building.

tallahassee woman | 33 | august • september 2022

From the desk of Dana Brooks

GIRL, LET’S TALK ABOUT THE OFFICE…

DANA@FASIGBROOKS.COM

W

hile women are reaching new heights in their careers, the fight for equity and equality are far from over. I’m often asked what should women do if they are subjected to sexism at work or given inappropriate assignments because of their gender? What kind of documentation should they be keeping to protect themselves against harassment? What about when that harassment comes from someone of the same gender?

If women are experiencing sexism at work or given lesser responsibilities it’s important that they don’t hide it. I know it can be uncomfortable to raise objections. You don’t want to be the girl who can’t take a joke. But if you genuinely believe this would not be happening to you but for the fact that you’re a woman, you need to address it. If you’re commonly referred to as “Blondie” by your team leader but no one else is given an unrequested nickname pertaining to their gender or physical appearance, it’s right to feel singled out.

Many times this is simply ignorance and people welcome the opportunity to learn and grow.

If you feel you’re being given assignments below your level or are missing out on opportunities because of your gender, address it with leadership.

Point out that you have the experience or education, or simply the desire to take on more signif-

icant tasks and roles and you want to be given a shot. Again, a lot of what holds us back is the presumptions about us that we allow to go unchecked. And it doesn’t matter the gender of the harasser. Harassment and sexism are about power and how those who have it, use it.

Document every instance of unfair treatment and your response to it. This is typically in emails or memos, but it could be comments made in social gatherings or around the office water cooler.

If your attempts to address the unfair treatment don’t result in a change in culture or behavior, you’ll have what you need to go to HR and eventually a lawyer.

Finally, keep a praise folder. Keep every memo, letter, email, or text of praise you receive. When you’re recognized for something exceptional, keep it in a file. When you get performance evaluations, add that to your praise folder. I cannot tell you how many times it has benefitted me or my clients to have held on to all the documentation of how great we were and what awesome work we were doing when someone precipitously changed their assessment of us. It’s hard to suddenly call you a bad worker, stupid, or crazy when they’ve been singing your praises for years. You may think this could never happen, but believe me, people change.

tallahasseewoman woman | |34 34 || august tallahassee august• •september september2022 2022

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French Empress Dragoon Helmet, Paris, France

tallahassee woman | 36 | august • september 2022

MADAME XHALES AT GLOBAL SHOPPING SITES

BY REGINA LYNCH-HUDSON | PHOTOGRAPHY BY COURTLAND BIVENS III

Rug Choices Kusadasi, Turkey

Kimono Fittings Kyoto, Japan

When globe-trekkers think of souvenirs, the mind races to a compilation of impulse buys like t-shirts, keychains, refrigerator magnets, and coffee mugs. As a cultural curator who scouts for exhibition-and-heirloom-worthy finds around the world, I’m proud to proclaim that no touristy trinkets make their way into the trunk-size suitcase I reserve for mementos.

With a focus on authenticity, I meticulously vet pieces handcrafted by indigenous artisans. My co-adventurer/hubby has endured exhaustive shopping expeditions during my hunt for treasure to haul back to the States—from tribal jewelry and carvings in Morocco to vintage kimonos in Japan and carpets handwoven in Turkey. He’s been known to act as co-conspirator in efforts to discreetly smuggle a heavy Shona sculpture that exceeded luggage weight limits in commuter airports throughout South Africa.

We’ve chronicled a glimpse of global novelties found in an array of countries dotting the planet. Some acquisitions were sort of epic!

Silver tea kettles Fez, Morocco

On your next journey, may you be inspired to keep your eyes peeled for unique creations that capture local culture.

Located in the heart of Paris, the Musée de l’Armée, national military museum of France, is home to one of the largest military history collections in the world—not a site where one would expect a girl to catch shopping fever. An hour into an exhibit, I concluded that when you’ve seen one knight, you’ve seen them all. But then I spied a French Empress Dragoon Helmet worn at the Battle of Waterloo circa 1806—a relic festooned in fabulous leopard skin with a horsehair plume and tail! I begged, I groveled, I prayed to the souvenir gods—and had to practically be pried away from the head-turning antiquity. Imagine my surprise when hubby secretly purchased a museum-quality reproduction of the helmet from a military antique shop!

tallahassee woman | 37 | august • september 2022

Morocco is world-renowned as a global supplier of exquisite silver teapots, colorful ceramics, and stonework, particularly fossilized limestone. Whilst shopping for home decor oddities, the hub-nerd was distracted by a pricey extinct trilobite, an ancient museum-quality marine arthropod derived from the sea. (Some things you learn to love when you wed a researcher science-type!)

The hub-nerd tolerates my affinity for antiquities and objets d’art, and I accept his penchant for antique swords, gory military memorabilia . . . and grotesque collectibles.

Trust, I’m the one who ultimately decides whether a petrified insect is accompanying us back to America or not. Salesmen don’t get it, do they? Statistics show that women make most decor purchase decisions.

The most colossal windfall fell into my hands in Cambodia.

Just imagine: I’m getting acclimated at my five-star resort, barely through the enchanting doors, and I fall madly in love with two ginormous oil paintings (13-footer and 10-footer) commanding the walls. Then I discover that the artist is the world-renowned Bangkok-based hotel designer and philanthropist, Bill Bensley, owner/architect of the resort and architect for over 200 luxury resorts, spas, and palaces in more than 30 countries!

Buddha Scouting Siem Reap, Camdodia

right off the hotel walls! By this time, you could have mopped me up off the floor! Bill signed the paintings: “To Regina, here’s to living the life given but never imagined.”

And that sums up my incredibly blessed life—always magnetically drawn into sublimely magical situations that you’d never believe . . . had it not all been caught on film.

Moments later, I’m meeting the larger-thanlife Bill Bensley and impulsively giving a donation so his foundation can provide classes and transportation for two poverty-stricken youths in Cambodia. Then, in gratitude, Bill gives me the two paintings

Painting aquisition from Hotel Walls Siem Reap, Cambodia

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BRING THE FAMILY. MOTHER NATURE’S ALREADY HERE. Come explore the trails, exhibits and natural beauty of the Tallahassee Museum.

From our new aviary to our boardwalk nature trail, you’ll find plenty to enjoy with your family as you welcome the newest members of ours.

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tallahassee woman | 39 | august • september 2022

THE HIGHER THE HATS….

MIND, BODY & SPIRIT

By SarahVi Pate

H

ave you stopped recently to count all the hats you wear throughout the day? What number did you come up with?

Professional, Boss/Employee, Mother, Wife, Daughter, Household Manager, Neighbor, Taxi Driver..

Etc. The list goes on and on. These different titles, or “hats” we call them, can be exhausting! As women, we never really “clock-out” for the day, we simply remove one hat and replace it with another.

Throughout the day, women walk around stretched thin, at the same time trying to get “one step ahead” in the game of successful living.

You see them, too. Let’s be honest… it you, it's me.. It's the lady sitting across from you at the coffee shop.

It's most of us (we just won't confess it to each other). We are desperately seeking a work-life balance.

As we work towards better worklife integration and living a full life, here are a few strategies to consider that you might find helpful:

LEAVE A LITTLE ROOM ON YOUR PLATE.

Don’t take on so many roles and responsibilities, that you have no wig-

gle room. Guilty! Remember, life involves surprises and unexpected events. Leave some room for those.

FOR EVERY YES, THERE MUST BE SOME NOS.

Each time we take on a new role or enter a new opportunity, we need to evaluate all other commitments and consider what to let go. Letting go doesn’t always mean “forever,” but rather, “just right now.” Perhaps it’s your season to let go of commitment and return to it another time.

INCLUDE SELFCARE.

Oxygen. “In an emergency, please secure your own mask first!” How many times do we hear that when traveling? Take care of you– then take care of the person(s) around you.

If you’re going to provide for others, make sure you are taken care of as well. What does this look like? Massage? Shopping? Time with friends?

I’m proud to live in Tallahassee where there is such a strong network of Women supporting Women. Successful women, at that. I’m proud of each one, while at the same time, knowing you wear more than your business title.

tallahassee woman | 40 | august • september 2022

ESTABLISHING A HEALTHY

BACK-TO-SCHOOL ROUTINE FOR MOM

By Lisa Davis

A

s a mom of four, I have experienced the back-to-school dash for more than 16 years. We are purchasing supplies, reestablishing a routine, getting everyone out the door on time and doing multiple drop-offs. The pressure is on parents to ensure kids have everything they need for the day.

Before we know it, we find ourselves in a fast-food line grabbing a sugar-loaded coffee drink for breakfast. We arrive to work without a nutritious lunch planned. We grab candy or soda to make it through the afternoon slump. Forget a workout—there is no time!

Evenings are consumed with pickups, sporting events, homework, dinner and catching up on work.

How can we realistically prioritize our own health and create healthier habits as we head into this school year?

PACK YOUR LUNCH DAILY Pick out a cute new lunch bag and keep it packed with non-perishable healthy snacks.

Some of my favorites are nuts, protein bars, beef jerky, dark chocolate, healthy energy drinks, and meals prepped using leftovers.

My cooler stays packed and goes everywhere with me. I cannot tell you how many times the contents have saved me from the concession stand, fast food or the unexpected.

SWAP OUT THE COFFEE DRINKS Waiting in line for coffee drinks is not only a time and money waster, but the nutritional information is shocking, and likely slowing your progress. Purchase a blender instead and blend healthy mixers with coffee protein powder. Mix, pour, and take it with you to the drop-off lines. Try out my personal favorite vitamin and protein-packed frappe.

PREP MEALS AHEAD We can all relate to arriving home late, with no meal planned, too hungry to cook, and finally offering cereal to the family. Or fast food and eating out becomes a habit, which makes it more difficult to eat healthy. The key to avoiding these patterns is meal prepping—and it doesn’t have to be complicated.

Many times it looks like this: grilling meat in bulk, roasting veggies, chopping, and cooking a couple of simple meals ahead. I spend about 1-2 hours per weekend on prep. No time to prep? We have some amazing meal prep companies in Tallahassee that will deliver meals right to your home.

One of my favorite quotes is “you don’t rise to the levels of your goals, you fall to the level of your systems.” Systems are what creates a consistently healthy lifestyle. Need motivation or ideas to execute a healthy plan? Follow Lisa @imagebylisa or @imagebylisahealth on Instagram.

tallahassee woman | 41 | august • september 2022

INGREDIENTS

1 scoop coffee protein powder 1 scoop chocolate protein powder 1 cup unsweetened almond milk 1 cup water 1 cup ice

OPTIONAL ADDITIONS 1/2 frozen ripe banana to make sweeter Fresh organic greens 1 tbs of almond butter Top with almond or coconut whipped creme Top with cocoa nibs

Blend, Pour And Go.

BIG BOUNCE BACK

By Jane Marks

H

ow many of us are feeling emotionally exhausted? I know I am.

The accumulated stressors from our personal lives, work lives, and world events can be overwhelming to our mental health. As we try and manage our stress, the indicators of emotional exhaustion are all around us: lack of motivation, anxiety, difficulty sleeping, generalized fatigue, compromised concentration, expectation of dread, apathy, irritability, and lack of sustained joy. If we examine our lives and look around, there are so many triggers that can lead to emotional exhaustion.

Even positive stressors like having a baby, getting a new job or winning the lottery can lead to this kind of stress. Most often, however, it is being a caregiver, the loss of a loved one, or other unexpected news that changes our daily functioning. We are simply drained. For those of us who recognize emotional exhaustion as a problem in our own lives, these tips should help with the “big bounce back” this week:

tallahassee woman | 42 | august • september 2022

EXPERIENCE 1. Create a significant wellness plan in your life by establishing your own “big routine.”

For example, in the morning, focus on a healthy food start, exercise, and mindfulness. Afternoon: hydration, a quick connection to someone supportive, or a power nap.

Evening: decompression, wind down, spiritual focus.

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3. Set a plan for rebooting task hours. Knowing when to pause can prevent exhaustion.

Pay attention to your body, listen, and most importantly, take action. Your body is used to guiding you and telling you when it’s done.

4. Establish a “small choice plan.” Break large decisions or big projects into small decisions.

Experiencing smaller successes will nourish a continuing sense of accomplishment!

5. Build a plan to take charge of your mental health. If you know you have been off-kilter and intentional self-care hasn’t been enough, consult a mental health practitioner.

While being vulnerable and open can be difficult, asking for help can be a huge step to a healthier you. Remember: identifying, expressing, and processing emotions are all a part of your path to continued wellness.

6. Finally, create your re-evaluation plan.

What is really important to you? Set new goals, learn to say no, stick to those experiences that support you. What better steps for the “big bounce back” this week? I’m ready; are you?

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SAY YES TO FREEDOM

4 Admissions to Free Up Mental Real Estate

By Dori Gomes

H

ave you ever considered the thoughts claiming your mental real estate? Rarely do we pause to think about what we think about, but we should. The echo chamber of our mind often reveals our shortcomings and fears. As a result, thoughts of shame, guilt, and frustration live there rent-free, but we have the power to give these intrusive thoughts an eviction notice and use our minds healthily and productively.

Dr. Jim Loehr, the author of The Power of Story, suggests we spend 95% of our mental whitespace trying to align our world in our head, with our primary concerns focused on ourselves, how we perform, react, respond, and overcome.

Too often, we become overconsumed by thoughts that hold us back. He suggests eliminating them by naming and dealing with them rather than ruminating on them.

By nature, we are master narrators. We spend much of our mental whitespace thinking about how things could and should have happened. I call this mental reeling when we create narratives in our minds to give us a desirable outcome for things that may not occur. The following admissions help remove unproductive thought patterns and make progress rather than think about it.

Admit that you have no idea what you are doing. Often, we allow the weight of others’ expectations to make us feel like we must know how to do everything. tallahassee woman | 44 | august • september 2022

Much of life presents a learning curve.

Give yourself space to learn and ask for direction when you need it. Do not allow yourself to be consumed by thoughts of imposture syndrome.

Admit when you have overcommitted.

The weight of expectation invites us to often say “yes.” Rather than worry about how you will get it all done, admit you overcommitted and free yourself from obligations when possible.

Admit when you need help. We often go at it alone. We view asking for help as a weakness, though we never make such assumptions about others. Instead of overwhelming your mind with to-do lists, invite others to help.

Admit you are reeling and commit to quitting. Dr. Melanie Greenberg, a clinical psychologist and author of The Stress-Proof Brain, approximates that 85% of the things we worry about never happen. Train your mind to focus on what is, not what may be.

HAPPY AGING

The Positive Perspective

By Jane Marks

W

hat are your feelings about aging?

Let’s take a look at happy aging and positive perspectives. Whether you are 17 or 77, there are benchmarks of aging well that we can all embrace. Let’s see how many you are practicing: 1. Are you physically taking care of your body—paying special attention to diet, sleep, hydration, rest, and recovery? Are you boosting your vitality in an active way?

2. Are you connecting with your family, your squad, or your best furry friend on a daily basis? Don’t forget about your health-care battalion.

3. Are you intentionally learning something new on a regular basis? Growth in school and growth in your personal life counts.

Outside of school, are you pursuing things that interest you?

4. Are you accepting of change—managing shifts, focusing on the unexpected events of the day, learning to pivot, and taking on challenges in big and small ways?

5. Are you being honest with yourself when you need help and support and being fearless when it comes to asking it?

6. Are you living in the present and enjoying today and all that it has to bring? Are you finding meaning and joy in your life? No day should pass without laughter.

7. Have you put language on something you are grateful for—a new outfit or a new outlook?

8. Whether you’re a successful businessowner, a student just starting out, or someone who’s in the middle of their professional or personal journey, it’s never too early to embrace the joys that aging brings.

tallahassee woman | 45 | august • september 2022

CAREGIVER BURNOUT?

SOMETIMES ALL WE NEED IS A CHANGE Lori Gonzalez, Ph.D.

C

aring for an aging loved one got you down? As one of the 42 million people in the U.S. providing care to someone who is 50 years or older, you may have experienced the added stress of caring during the COVID-19 pandemic. How about a caregiving relationship makeover?

Culture Change is a dynamic shift in how care is provided. It reimagines the relationship between caregiver and care recipient as being a care partnership--driven primarily by the person receiving care’s wishes, values, and self-determination.

In this relationship, care recipients are called, “Elders,” an empowering status earned through the wisdom gained during a lifetime or due to a unique set of experiences. The care partnership recognizes that both partners bring to the table special qualities, experiences, and abilities to be shared and that the partner giving care strives to empower an Elder to engage in meaningful activity, maintain dignity and privacy,

and to direct the day-to-day ongoings of their lives while fulfilling human and spiritual needs. How do you begin your Culture Change journey? Start by acknowledging that even small, simple changes can have an incredible impact. Begin by asking the Elder for a list of things that are important to them and for a few changes in their daily routine they’d like to see. You might be surprised to learn that they’d like to wake up later each morning, perhaps giving you the opportunity to relax over a cup of coffee or a chance to get the children ready for school. Ask Elders what they truly enjoy in life and try to engage them in meaningful activity. This could mean spending time outdoors, learning a new hobby, or a new language.

Ask for help and take breaks to avoid burnout. Make a list of the things in the care partnership that bring you joy and meaning. With a few small changes, you and your Elder can emerge from the pandemic stronger than ever.

tallahassee woman | 46 | august • september 2022

GAIN, GAIN GO AWAY!

By Dr. Dawn Ericsson

L

adies, are you wondering why you can’t lose weight despite calorie restriction and regular exercise?

Generally speaking, our bodies are not engineered for easy weight loss. They are designed to resist weight loss. Over the millennia, we have evolved slowly and typically have not lived with food abundance.

That said, we can manipulate our hormones, optimize our diet, vitamins and minerals, physical activity, and sleep, and minimize inflammation and our exposure to toxins.

When these factors are not optimal we tend to hold on to fat, often around the midsection. Recommendations: DO A 10 TO 30-DAY DETOX. Toxins often get stored in our fat cells. This keeps them from circulating throughout the body causing harm. If we can eliminate toxins from our body, we are better able to lose fat. The liver, one of our major detoxifying organs, processes fats and activates many hormones related to metabolism. Start with a detox for any weight loss effort and drink plenty of water daily.

FOOD SENSITIVITY TESTING. Are you eating foods that your body is sensitive to and causing inflammation? No matter how nutritious a food may be, if you are sensitive to that food, it is doing you more harm than good and lacking nutritional benefit for you. Testing allows you to pick the foods that don’t upset your body.

Poor nutrition contributes to weight gain and lack of satiety.

INFLAMMATION AND INSULIN RESISTANCE. High levels of inflammation in the body due to a variety of factors can cause insulin resistance and weight gain. Some of the biggest mediators of inflammation are sugar, toxins (ie alcohol, smoking, plastics), wheat, dairy, vegetable oils, stress, and inadequate sleep. Inflammation causes our cells to be less responsive to normal stimuli and therefore not respond to the hormones and vitamins needed to regulate weight and many other processes. Testing for prediabetes and inflammation is important. There are supplements and medications to lower inflammation and insulin resistance.

CHECK THYROID HORMONE LEVELS. The thyroid gland is responsible for metabolism and energy. Optimal levels for specific thyroid hormones should be in the upper ¼ of the reference range. If they are not and you are symptomatic, you may need to boost your thyroid hormone through a prescription or other means.

Elevated thyroid antibody levels also pose a problem. There are methods to normalize these as well.

CHECK YOUR SEX HORMONES WITH A BIOIDENTICAL HORMONE

tallahassee woman | 47 | august • september 2022

REPLACEMENT SPECIALIST: Imbalances and deficiencies in your Estrogens, Progesterone and Testosterone can predispose you to weight gain. It is important that they are in balance with one another.

VITAMINS AND MINERALS. To name a few, low Vitamin B12, D3, Iron, Magnesium, Selenium, and Zinc can hinder weight loss. They all assist the thyroid gland in hormone production and function EXERCISE AND ADRENALS. Too much of a good thing is frankly… not good. Exercise should be regular (3-5 times weekly), varied, and not excessive. Excessive strenuous exercise can inappropriately overstimulate our Adrenals, the same effect that stress can have on us. The resulting dysrhythmia in the production or cortisol and other hormones can especially contribute to midsection weight.

SLEEP. Study after study has shown how inadequate sleep can wreak havoc on our health in a variety of ways. Weight gain is one example.

It is recommended that adults get 7-8hrs of sleep every night during night time hours.

There are many rejuvenating processes that occur when we sleep, including the production and secretion of growth hormone. This hormone can help us maintain our lean body mass and encourage the loss of fat.

tallahassee woman | 48 | august • september 2022

MORE GRACE, LESS JUDGMENT: THE INVISIBLE DISABILITY

By Laci Swann

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hat seems like ages ago, I was browsing the aisles at the grocery store, wondering what to make for dinner. I was a solo college student, so my concerns at the time were me, myself, and I. That day, in the middle of the pasta aisle, I saw a child throw themselves on the floor, screaming at the top of their lungs.

My first thought was, “Wow, their parents should control that child a little better.”

I walked away, passing judgment and vowing to myself to never allow my child to behave that way in public.

Oh, how foolish I was, and many years later, life certainly served me a hefty slice of humble pie.

Today, I am a mama of two and a bonus mom of one. Two of those children are neurotypical. One is not, and that happens to be my sweet baby boy, Justice. Justice has autism and is nonverbal. Because Justice is unable to speak (yet!), he often expresses himself

through shrieks and cries. Sometimes, those cries present themselves as tantrums. In public, I don’t know what to expect. Justice may be quiet as a mouse. Other times, he might put on a show for the world, completely careless about who sees him “tantrum.”

You see, Justice has an “invisible disability.” You can’t “see” that he has autism, but he certainly struggles with sensory overload, processing, and communication.

I pray that people do not pass judgment on my child and his behavior. In fact, I pray that people do not behave and think like the cringy, out-of-touch college me.

This brings me to a very special point about this upcoming school year – let’s be cognizant of how we treat others. We should not have to see a disability and let that become the reason we show grace.

Instead, make it a habit to show everyone grace, whether they need an extra helping hand or not.

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tallahassee woman | 49 | august • september 2022

BREAKING FREE The Truth Behind Shame, Guilt, Fear, and Expectation

By Dori Gomes

F

rom early childhood, I knew I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom (at least until my children were in school). But I never anticipated the shame, guilt, fear, and expectations that would accompany me for the ride. I felt shame for not financially providing and guilt when I wanted a moment to myself. I struggled to keep up with the millions of expectations I heaped upon myself and others’ expectations of me.

Research indicates that women have a higher propensity for shame, guilt, and fear than men, and evidence reveals those feelings negatively impact our expectations for success (Lutwak et al., 2016). We expect to table our dreams for the greater good throughout our lives, and I’m not sure if this is a learned behavior, socially accepted as true, or an expectation we place upon ourselves, but it is toxic.

What propels men forward holds women back. Men are motivated to perform by thoughts of shame, guilt, fear, and expectation whereas women pull back to ensure others get what they want and need. If women had an Achilles heel, it would be our mothering instinct to put others first.

Without knowing it, we indebt ourselves to people in ways that derail us from our purpose. Without recognizing it, we allow ourselves to make concessions assuming it is what is expected. Let me remind you: We do not always need to be the ones taking one for the team. We can invite others into the mix in a way that allows everyone to win.

can succeed, too. Finally, ask yourself if doing this will take you closer to where you want to be and if doing this will help you become what you want to be. Shrinking back from your calling helps no one.

Step boldly into your purpose and only step aside when led, not when scared, ashamed, guilty, or because expectation invites it. Your happiness, success, and dreams matter, too.

Sources: Lutwak N, Panish JB, Ferrari JR, Razzino BE. Shame and guilt and their relationship to positive expectations and anger expressiveness. Adolescence. 2016 Winter;36(144):641-53. PMID: 11928873.

NCBI - WWW Error Blocked Diagnostic Shame and

How do we fix this? First, acknowledge when you feel yourself pulling back and figure out why you are doing it. Next, determine if someone else can step in so you

Guilt and Their Relationships to Positive Expectations and Anger Expressiveness

tallahassee woman | 50 | august • september 2022

W.E. INSPIRE

F

or some people the new year begins at a dimly lit party, champagne glass in hand and a brushing of lips at midnight. But for me, starting over has always aligned with that changing of leaves and pulling out of sweaters. The smell of a fresh pair of sneakers and butterflies in my stomach the night before the first day of school.

I have broken every new year’s resolution that I’ve ever attempted to make and I attribute this to my inability to buy into the idea that anything changes with the turning of a calendar year. More likely it is the result of a deep rooted habit of procrastination but for the sake of my pride that’s something I’m choosing to overlook.

I think humans are made to change and adapt, it is coded in our DNA but the decision to alter our habits and living styles doesn’t have to be a dramatic one.

The beginning of a new school year and of a new season offers an opportunity to ease into change in ways that January 1st does not. When September arrives there will not be family members bombarding you with questions about what your resolutions are, there will not be ads on social media telling you that 2023 is the perfect chance to lose those 15 pounds like you’ve always wanted to. There will be other noise and distractions because as is the way of life, but as you’re preparing lunch boxes, stocking up on pencils, or evaluating your fall wardrobe, lean into the possibility for change. For freshness, for the chance to better yourself and the world around you.

FALL RESOLUTIONS

By Chambers Miller

Instead of making radical promises to take a chopping block to the aspects of your life that come across as less than ideal (because that’s what new year’s resolutions most often resemble right), focus on enriching the person that you already are. Nurture the existing relationships that are serving you.

Consciously evaluate what you want to carry into this next season, and make the choice to put down what might be too heavy.