Tallahassee Woman Magazine February/March 2021

Tallahassee

FEBRUARY / MARCH 2021

LADDER

LEADERS

OF LEGACY

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From here.

For here.

Here is where we’re from. Here made us who we are. We believe relationships are worth more than dollars can measure. It’s a value that grows over time, strengthens under pressure, and thrives when serving others.

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1O 12

LETTER FROM PUBLISHER LETTER FROM GUEST EDITOR

Contents

20

Autumn Alchemy Love Story

TRENDS

14

CONTENTS

Fashion: Lingerie, not just for Valentine’s Day-it’s for YOU every day!

She Says Social: How do you receive love?

Books: Inspiring Reads Bridal: Autumn Alchemy Love Story

26 LIVING LOCAL Women’s History: How to Stay Connected this International Women’s Day We Elevate: Caring and Compassion: A Nurse’s Story Community: Celebrating Black History: Honoring African American Women Haute Happenings: Celebrating The Special Days Of February And March

34 On the Cover

LADDER OF LEGACY LEADERS

38

TRAVEL

Madame eXhales Madame Xhales at Museums of the World

44

BUSINESS

10 Interviewing Tips: Communicating Confidence and Competence

44

WELLNESS Drive Your Dream Vision: Life, Leadership and Love

48

FAMILY

50

The Dish: Jamaican Cod Fritters We Inspire: 7 Self-Care Habits of Successful Women

34. about the cover | photography: Kira DerryBerry | makeup: Jamee Wright | clothing and accessories: Private Collection tallahassee woman | 4 | februar y • march 2021

,

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Tallahassee

WOM A N

MAGAZINE

February / March 2021 • Volume 16 • Issue 1

PUBLISHER Dr. Michelle Mitcham EXECUTIVE ASSISTANT Punam Bhakta EDITORIAL ASSISTANT Tavia Rahki PUBLISHING CONSULTANT Kim Rosier CREATIVE DIRECTOR Olivia Heyward RELATIONSHIP ASSOCIATE Breanna Rittman INTERNS Lilly Simons

CREATIVE CONSULTANT Briana Smith DIRECTOR OF PUBLIC RELATIONS Marcia Warfel DIRECTOR OF LEADERSHIP INITIATIVES Paula DeBoles-Johnson COMMUNITY ENGAGEMENT LIAISON Renée Jean-Charles DIRECTOR OF LUXURY TRAVEL Regina Lynch Hudson DIRECTOR OF SALES Ashley Thesier ADVERTISING For information on advertising, visit talwoman.com, call (850) 893-9624, or e-mail ads@TalWoman.com.

TALLAHASSEE WOMAN is a publication of Mitcham Media Group LLC Post Office Box 16616 | Tallahassee, FL 32317-3401 Phone (850) 893-9624 | Fax (850) 254­-7038 | info@TalWoman.com Tallahassee Woman is published six times per year and is distributed on a complimentary basis throughout Tallahassee and the surrounding communities.

TALWOMAN.COM The information in this publication is presented in good faith.

The publisher does not guarantee accuracy or assume responsibility for errors or omissions.

Copyright © 2021 Mitcham Media Group LLC. All rights reserved. Reproduction, in part or in whole, without expressed written consent of the Publisher is prohibited.

tallahassee woman | 6 | februar y • march 2021

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CONTRIBUTORS

Contributors

PAULA DEBOLESJOHNSON WRITER Paula DeBoles-Johnson is a speaker, trainer, writer, advocate who believes in leading by example; an Employee Engagement and Performance Manager, Leon County Government; Executive Director, Capital City Youth Development Corporation. She and her husband have two phenomenal daughters.

REGINA LYNCH HUDSON WRITER Veteran publicist and luxury lifestyle experience-aholic, Regina Lynch-Hudson, pens MadameXhales, slated towards the vintage of woman that enjoys more time to travel. The exacting taste of MadameXhales finds her exploring destinations, cruises, resorts, spas and extracurricular activities.

KIRA KARRIBEAN WRITER Karribean is a Tallahassee native who enjoys all things artistic.

Honing in on her skills as a fashion model, she’s making her mark behind the camera too.

Her deep love of writing, capturing the moment, and spreading truth fuels her drive to make a positive impact on the world.

KIRA DERRYBERRY PHOTOGRAPHER Kira Derryberry is a Tallahassee-based portrait photographer specializing in families, headshots and boudoir and commercial photography. She books locally in Tallahassee and is available for travel worldwide. View Kira’s portfolio online at kiraderryberry.com.

JAMEE WRIGHT MAKEUP ARTIST Jamee Wright is a LILLY SIMONS licensed Esthetician, WRITER Professional Makeup Lilly Simons is a Artist, Certified Image student at New York Consultant, and Personal University studying Stylist. She is dedicated English Literature to encouraging women and Journalism. As "to let their light shine" a passionate studentfor over 23 years. You'll journalist, freelance editor, and creative writer, see and feel her passion Lilly is a firm believer in for encouraging and the magic of the written uplifting others when word. She loves seeing the she is creating a custom makeup look or giving impact that storytelling a spa facial treatment at has upon the lives of her studio. others.

tallahassee woman | 8 | februar y • march 2021

Meet Melissa.

With more than two decades of banking experience, Melissa Wright, Accredited Wealth Management AdvisorÂŽ, is a private banker who strives to educate, empower and guide women in their personal financial management.

Call Melissa today: 850.402.7731

Melissa Wright Private Banker

Serving Leon County ccbg.com

From the

PUBLISHER

“

Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen. ~Brené Brown

protocols and being creative to capture all these women individually and comprising a group photo with technology!) It is an honor to have FSU’s Dr. Chanta Haywood as our Guest Editor, once again, to illuminate the phenomenal cover women and address the community. I hope you enjoy her uplifting message of empowerment.

Photo by Jennifer Powell Photography

LIFT YOUR VOICE WE INFLUENCE

W

e are strong. We are courageous. We are worthy. We are leaders.

Women empowered (WE) are courageously ascending to leadership positions in cities, counties, and states across the country, paving the way for future generations to come. Women are lifting their voices and spreading their influence. More women than ever ran for public office in 2020, and more women than ever came together to support and vote for them. Women threw a huge rock through the glass ceiling with the election of the first woman Vice-President of the United States. With this historic vote, women are taking the helm at the top tiers of government.

Tallahassee Woman Magazine embraces and celebrates these women for their achievements. Seven of our community's Legacy Leaders grace the cover of Tallahassee Woman Magazine. We celebrate and honor Senator Loranne Ausley, Clerk of the Court Gwen Marshall, Judge Tiffany Baker, Judge Angela Dempsey, Commissioner Carolyn Cummings, Representative Allison Tant and Judge Nina Ashenafi Richardson. Congratulations to all of the elected leaders of Tallahassee. Due to the social distancing and the magic of digital photography, we were able to capture some of the leaders during this pandemic. (Special thanks to Kira Derryberry for following strict Covid

The quote from Amanda Gorman captures this sentiment best: “ ....if only we’re brave enough to see it - if only we’re brave enough to be it” and these women and others, lifted their voices and the power of the vote amplified their messages.

Please join us in celebrating phenomenal women for Black History Month, Women’s History Month, and Mardi Gras (book nook). Congratulations to all the honorees of the Tallahassee Community College 2021 Cherry Hall Alexander African-American calendar!

Tallahassee Woman Magazine wishes everyone peace during this challenging season of Covid.

We are praying for your success, health, and happiness now and always.

Happy Valentine's and Galentine’s Day! Wishing you love and light,

Dr. Michelle Mitcham, Publisher

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guest EDITOR

“

I

As we celebrate Black History and Women's History months, I commend, respect, and thank these dynamic servant leaders who have answered the call to advocate for and serve our community.

So do the women featured in this issue. They are judges, state representatives, commissioner, and clerks of court. Their paths to their elected offices have been as varied as their backgrounds. They are daughters and granddaughters of immigrants, single fathers, farmers, and community advocates. They truly represent the mosaic that is America.

Photo by Jennifer Powell Photography

t is an honor to be a guest editor again for Tallahassee Woman Magazine. I am especially thrilled about this issue, which highlights the diverse women elected to serve the Tallahassee community.

I applaud Dr. Mitcham for acknowledging these leaders who had the confidence and wherewithal to try to better our community by running for office. Now, after securing the public's trust, they are taking to the bench, legislative halls, podium, and board rooms to enact change. In doing so, they are giving us local examples of the transformative leadership that is happening around the country.

Here we are-just over 100 years after the passing of the 19th amendment and 55 years since the passing of the Voting Rights Act- in a country that has just elected the first Black and South Asian woman to be second in command of the most powerful nation the world. Such a feat was unimaginable when the pioneers set out to fight for the right to vote. Now, Vice President Kamala Harris gives women and girls around the world a daily reminder of the power of faith and work.

As we celebrate Black History and Women's History months, I commend, respect, and thank these dynamic servant leaders who have answered the call to advocate for and serve our community.

Dr. Chanta M. Haywood Dr. Chanta M. Haywood is a seasoned university administrator, professor and scholar who currently serves on the faculty at FSU. She has served four universities in three states as either a professor, graduate dean, associate provost, or vice-president. Her academic book, Prophesying Daughters, Black Women Preachers and the Word, is used by students around the world. Last year, she lectured on her book at Yale University. She owns A.C.E College Success Academy, and is a partner at MaxTheTest.com, a standardized test-prep company.

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Trends TRENDS

FASHION • SHE SAYS SOCIAL • BOOKS • BRIDAL

Denim & Lace

Lingerie, not just for Valentine’s Day - it’s for YOU every day! By Kira Karribean

F

or a well-dressed young lady or woman, proper under garments were a way of life, simply a part of the complete outfit. Even if no one saw girdles, stockings, and garter belts, they were staples in daily fashion wear. Lately, corsets have risen in popularity

tallahassee woman | 14 | februar y • march 2021

and have not gone away. Lingerie isn’t only worn under your clothes anymore, but as clothes themselves in some instances. High-waisted jeans paired with a teddy, instead of the basic body suit, are trending. With the help from the pandemic lockdowns, women are embracing boudoir inspired looks as well. Whether you are just lounging around the house, or cooking, cleaning, and even sleeping, add a glamorous boost by wearing that sweet lace baby doll dress and matching robe you have been saving for the perfect ocassion.

No need to wait for a special occasion to pull out something so feminine. Tomorrow is never promised, and as fashion trends have journeyed back in time, under garments both functional and seductive, have found their ways back into style. The modern feminist movement has inspired women to empower themselves and other females in many novel ways. One way to accomplish this is with your own “secrets” hiding underneath or sitting boldly

Upcoming Events

on top. Robes are a great way to add an accent, while still looking enticingly attractive! Whether satin, lace or feather-trimmed, the bigger the better, so you don’t have to worry about sizing. Robes are also great gifts for any woman no matter her age or size. On the high end, Italian brand, La Perla lingerie leads in fashion, but celebrity brands have a lot to choose from at a much more affordable price. Pop sensation Rihanna’s lingerie line, Savage X Fenty, is a lovely option that doesn’t break the bank or skip on the quality of designs. For the savvy shopper, don’t focus on name brand, just find something that looks good on you and try to find the best price.

Embrace You!

tallahassee woman | 15 | februar y • march 2021

Trends |

She says social

Q

How do you receive love?

“ “

She says Social

My husband always gets up to kiss me when I come in the door 26 years married @rohentz

I love️ acts of service anything that lightens my load makes me feel loved.

“

@grandlife_moments_photography

My love language is certainly quality time. The two things we spend are money & time. You can always make more money but time you can’t get back. It’s great to go out and do fun things together but my favorite time spent with some of my best friends has involved pajamas, crazy hair, green face masks & pizza. ~Ashley Thesier

“

“

My husband spending quality time with me has been the best, even during COVID, when we are able to put the kids to bed early and still have energy to get through a movie or comedy show has been great.

My children’s hugs and kisses and appreciation for a home cooked meal have made even the worst days better.

From my friends, I appreciate when they check on me and make time to connect over brunch or dinner. I’ve always been the strong friend that people come to, so it’s nice when they circle back and check on me. ~Renee Rivers

My husband walks our sweet but aging Lovey (our dear almost 15 year old Shih Tzu) that can’t do stairs anymore. He carries him up and down morning & night with such gentleness & patience that it melts my heart every time!

tallahassee woman | 16 | februar y • march 2021

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Trends |

Inspiring Reads

Books

W

alking Raddy: The Baby Dolls of New Orleans. Edited by Vaz-Deville Kim. Jackson: University Press of Mississippi, 2018.

Scholars and artists respond to the modern resurgence of the Baby Doll tradition Since 2004, the Baby Doll Mardi Gras tradition in New Orleans has gone from an obscure, almost forgotten practice to a flourishing cultural force. The original Baby Dolls were groups of black women, and some men, in the early Jim Crow era who adopted New Orleans street masking tradition as a unique form of fun and self-expression against a backdrop of racial discrimination. Wearing short dresses, bloomers, bonnets, and garters with money tucked tight, they strutted, sang ribald songs, chanted, and danced on Mardi Gras Day and on St. Joseph feast night. Today's Baby Dolls continue the tradition of one of the first street women's masking and marching groups in the United States.

They joyfully and unabashedly defy gender roles, claiming public space and proclaiming through their performance their right to social citizenship.

Essayists draw on interviews, theoretical perspectives, archival material, and historical assessments to describe women's cultural performances that take place on the streets of New Orleans. They recount the history and contemporary resurgence of the Baby Dolls while delving into the larger cultural meaning of the phenomenon. Over 140 color photographs and personal narratives of immersive experiences provide passionate testimony of the impact of the Baby Dolls on their audiences. Fifteen artists offer statements regarding their work documenting and inspired by the tradition as it stimulates their imagination to present a practice that revitalizes the spirit.

Kim Vaz-Deville is a professor of education at Xavier University of Louisiana. Her book The "Baby Dolls": Breaking the Race and Gender Barriers of the New Orleans Mardi Gras Tradition was the basis for the Louisiana State Museum's installation "They Call Me Baby Doll: A Mardi Gras Tradition" in 2013 and the Young Leadership Council's 2016 One Book One New Orleans selection.

“BRAVE, BOLD AND BODACIOUS THE BABY DOLLS OF NEW ORLEANS”

By Paula DeBoles-Johnson

We had the chance to talk with the remarkable Dr. Kim Vaz-Deville about her book, “Walking Raddy: The Baby Dolls of New Orleans.” Her book details the vibrant and festive history behind the masquerade parade performances reminiscent of Carnival. The author eloquently shares why it was

important to ensure that this rich New Orleans tradition is not forgotten and why these ‘Baby Dolls’ find freedom and joy in expressing themselves through this dance. Dr. Vaz-Deville shares, “My hope is that readers will see working class black women's lives in a new context. Through my book,

I want them to learn an alternative interpretation about who these people were and are who mask as baby dolls.

I want readers to develop empathy for black working class women by emphasizing what is common to these women and to the readers.”

tallahassee woman | 18 | februar y • march 2021

Why did you decide to write this book?

I started researching the Baby Dolls towards the beginning of 2010. I was working on a larger book- length project about how marginalized people in New Orleans have historically used the public sphere and public space to instill in each other different values and celebrate themselves. Even though I grew up here, I had never heard of the Baby Dolls. The height of the Baby Dolls was the 1930s up until the ’50s, when the tradition started dying out. There was a minor resurgence in the ’80s, but not enough to impact younger generations and their awareness.

What made these women find their voice and have the courage to participate in this dance?

These women found their voices through appropriating Mardi Gras, a time when social norms were turned on their head.

They used satire which pointed out how the norms worked that regulated women’s behavior, women’s attire, and their ability to walk the public streets without risk of harassment.

In defying these norms about women’s proper behavior, they were noticed as they asserted their rights to define their bodies on their own terms, at least for one day. They demonstrated their passion for costuming, performing, and organizing, allowing women to grow some informal leadership opportunities. They believed in sisterhood and friendship.

Who inspired you and why?

I have been inspired by women who were not afraid to challenge the norms restricting what women could do. School founders like Henriette Díaz DeLille, a free woman of color, who taught enslaved people to read even though it was against the law. She founded the Sisters of the Holy Family in 1836, an order of black Catholic nuns and they built a school, St. Mary’s Academy, that I attended. The Academy first opened on Chartres Street in the historic French Quarter in December 1867 and it is still in operation. I was inspired by other businesswomen in New Orleans, who, in spite of the odds, had realized their own ambitions: such women include my great grandmother, Virginia Glover, who used the black press to advertise her cosmetology business starting in 1926.

What’s one piece of advice you would like to share with our readers?

“We are often tempted to put aside the things we enjoy because of the demands of the moment. Find a way to incorporate what you are passionate about right now. Don’t put it aside out of fear or the oftenmistaken idea that you will get to it later. Pursuing your passion will enrich your life and add to your happiness IQ.”

Kim Vaz-Deville is a professor of education at Xavier University of Louisiana. Her book The "Baby Dolls": Breaking the Race and Gender Barriers of the New Orleans Mardi Gras Tradition was the basis for the Louisiana State Museum's installation "They Call Me Baby Doll: A Mardi Gras Tradition" in 2013 and the Young Leadership Council's 2016 One Book One New Orleans selection.

tallahassee woman | 19 | februar y • march 2021

Dr. Kim Vaz-Deville

for women by women about women.

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Trends |

Bridal

Autumn Alchemy LOVE STORY

A CONSCIOUS COVENANT - MEANING BEHIND THE MAGIC

F

amily and friends traveled from near and far to celebrate a profession of love; celebrating a lifetime of promise at the alchemical wedding of Tavia Rahki and Joshua Michael. This past November, on a bright and beautiful day, the two were wedded at the picturesque venue, Old Willis Dairy. Tears of happiness filled not only the eyes of the bride and groom, but many who witnessed this magical moment. All could feel the love in the air. The wedding vows, composed

by Mr. & Mrs. Reyes, give a glimpse of their love story...

tallahassee woman | 20 | februar y • march 2021

A special friend, a strategic partner, a fearless lover... you are my Big Bang. Life with you is the adventure I have always wanted, a quest for the ages. Your resilient, tender spirit invigorates my very being. In you I have found my contemporary and my better half. That you would choose me from amongst the multitudes, I am forever blessed. When I first glanced upon your most beautiful countenance outside the hallways for the gifted, it was obvious you were special. I had not a clue what miracles were in store. You were my first lover and now my only.

It was on a bus in high school where I fell in love forever.

Our bond has only grown, and so has your beauty. Your wisdom continues to flourish. You showed me love when it was hard. When I was low in heart and spirit, you were there. Tavia, I will be with you and love you no matter how many millions we have. Neither a pandemic, a tropical storm, nor a civil war can impede the covenant I make here to you this day. With God, and all these beautiful people here as our witnesses, I promise to give to you my very best as a husband, and as a friend. I will always be true. Let us slay the dragon in a parade of our undying love. May we prosper in righteousness. I will be with you til the very end.

Photography By Whigham Images

Joshua

It feels as though the space within myself, beyond this corporeal frame, is in vibrant dance with you, like the light playing between the trees. To be yoked with you is to be swaddled in the warm embrace of infinite love.

May my eyes always be open to see your kindness. May my mind always be open to blessings unknown. In the darkest hours, may the simple touch of our palms ignite flames. I pray that the ebb and flow of life, no matter which turn or tumultuous terrain, always leads us to a place of calm water, renewed and cleansed by the beauty of our humanness. I thank God for the privilege to know you, to learn you, and to grow with you. This soil runs deep, and as our garden grows, the wonder and awe of every moment becomes more evident. One gaze at you in a moment of our bliss creates imprints in my mind that I will watch for a lifetime. Your memory is a melody, and my favorite song is the sound of our laughter. As God is my witness, you are my testimony. My dearest friend, you are my greatest adventure. Joshua Michael, I love you.

Forever and ever, your wife.

Tavia

tallahassee woman | 21 | februar y • march 2021

Whigham Images

Trends |

Bridal

Special Thanks

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WOMENS HISTORY • WE ELEVATE • COMMUNITY

Local LIVING Living LOCAL

How to Stay Connected this International Women's Day

W

hile the celebration may look different this year, you can still spread awareness and empowerment this International Women’s Day from the comfort of your home. This year’s campaign theme is #ChooseToChallenge and the name holds true: no challenge can stand in the way of our celebration of women and commitment to creating a more inclusive world. There are a plethora of virtual events to safely reflect upon the progress of womankind and challenge gender inequality this year. Check them out below and take the challenge!

11th Annual International Women's Day Forum: Business Powering a New Tomorrow When: March 5, 2021- 12:00 pm to 4:00 pm Where: Virtual Hosted by the U.S Chamber of Commerce Foundation,the 11th Annual International Women’s Day Forum will, according to the foundation, illuminate how “the private sector, working with cross-sector partners, can narrow gender gaps in every aspect of society, redefine leadership, reconstruct workplaces, and drive equality of opportunity for women and girls as we navigate our recovery from the pandemic and beyond.” Past speakers include Laura Lane, Chief Corporate Affairs and Communications Officer, UPS; Katia Beau-

champ, Co-Founder and CEO, Birchbox; Rebecca Minkoff, Co-Founder and Creative Director, Rebecca Minkoff, and Founder, The Female Founder Collective; Sarah Friar, Chief Executive Officer, Nextdoor; Henriette Kolb, Head, Gender Secretariat, International Finance Corporation; Chelsea Clinton, Vice Chair, Clinton Foundation; Angela Guy, Senior Vice President, Diversity and Inclusion, L'Oreal USA; Keke Palmer, Actress and Activist; Sherrie Westin, President of Social Impact and Philanthropy, Sesame Workshop. Register now at uschamberfoundation.org

MashUp’s 5th Annual International Women’s Day Festival When: March 6, 2021

tallahassee woman | 26 | februar y • march 2021

Where: Virtual Option MashUp’s 5th Annual International Women’s Day Festival celebrates the power of women through the talent of female artists. Annually around March 8th, International Women’s Day, MashUp, the IWD Festival highlights “unique and innovative female-identifying choreographers” with a three-day festival funded by the City of Los Angeles’ Department of Cultural Affairs and the City of West Hollywood featuring free dance classes, an artistic directors summit, and a fully produced showcase. This year, an online festival component will be offered due to the COVID-19 pandemic. Join the artistic festivities and register at internationalwomensday.com

Poetry Salon International Women's Day When: March 10, 2021- 2:30 PM to 4:30 PM Where: Virtual Interested in poetry and celebrating womankind? Join the Poetry Salon International Women’s Day event on March where “invited artists bring their unique take on current events and other issues that have touched their hearts and drawn them to write.” The event will feature an open mic session and is in partnership with the international book project 'Letters To My Younger Self,’ which is “working with women's groups and individuals around the world to collect themed letters filled with advice and love to their younger self.” Register eventbrite.com

U.N. Perspective Series: Gender Equality & International Women's Day 21 When: March 9, 2021- 11:30 AM – 1:00 PM Where: Virtual The U.N. Perspective Series: Gender Equality & International Women's Day 21 event focuses on gender equality and explores how the “COVID-19 pandemic has further exacerbated challenges for working womxn (all those who identify as female).” The event will commemorate the UN's International Women's Day on March 8: “a day dedicated to the celebration and advancement of females around the world.” Register at www.eventbrite.com

International Women's Day Summit by Women's Chamber of Commerce When: March 11, 2021 Where: Virtual Price: $79 Named "Most Inspirational" by the Atlanta Journal Constitution, Atlanta's 5th Annual International Women’s Day occurs on March 11 and features “a powerful cohort of leaders,

entrepreneurs and influencers coming together to support a gender-balanced world.” All, including men, are welcome.

Hosted by the Women’s Chamber of Commerce, in partnership with the City of Atlanta, Technology Association of Georgia, Consulate Generals of Canada, Mexico, Germany, Israel and the Netherlands, the event will entail a daylong schedule of solutions-focused workshops, “supporting the advancement of gender equality and the power of women.”Join the movement for change and register at eventbrite.com

Girls With Impact International Women's Day 2020 Concert When: March 8, 2021- 6:00 PM to 9:00 PM Where: Virtual Price: $25 per person, $100 per family Support Girls With Impact with a virtual concert in celebration of International Women's Day, All proceeds go to “equipping 1 Million under-resourced girls as tomorrow's business leaders and innovators.” Enjoy an evening of music and commemoration by registering at eventbrite.com

International Women's Entrepreneurship Symposium 2021 by University of Nevada, College of Business When: March 8, 2021- 10:30 AM to 5:00 PM Where: Virtual Price: $10-$69 Are you a woman that means business? Join the 3rd annual International Women's Entrepreneurship Symposium, which aims to “build a global community to support the creation & growth of women-founded companies across all geographies and industries.” This year's symposium will feature over 30 Founders and CEOs as speakers, panelists and workshop hosts.

Register at eventbrite.com

Living Local |

WE ELEVATE

WE Elevate

By: TWM Editorial Staff

CARING AND COMPASSION: A NURSE'S STORY

H

ave you ever answered your phone thinking it would just be a wrong number or a quick call, but you ended up having a great conversation with a wonderful total stranger on the opposite end? Well, this happened to me recently when I was checking emails last month and received a phone call from a number I did not recognize. To my surprise, it was an intriguing human being named Kim Edwards, a phenomenal person, a nurse at TMH, a mentor and an author! Kim told me all about her amazing new book, Behind My Stethoscope: Letters of Solidarity, Encouragement, and Advice to New and Seasoned Nurses”, which was inspired by her heartfelt letters to her niece about the nursing field. Kim shared that she is passionate about the nursing profession and would like to help prevent burnout. She admits there are many challenges, but also many opportunities to be successful and make a difference in the lives of others. She has spent 38 years of her career at Tallahassee Memorial HealthCare and hopes to inspire, motivate and support nurses by sharing her pearls of wisdom gained along this rewarding journey. I am honored to have met Kim and look forward to reading her book! Learn more about Kim Edwards, R.N. in her own words describing her life's work so far and what brought her to this point.

I know you will enjoy her story, which is so timely!

Kim R. Edwards RN

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: (IN HER WORDS) "Forty years in nursing. I can’t believe it has been

unit; together but each with their own nursing

Retirement is drawing closer and as I reflected

that long. I started work as a 16 year old nurses

desk.

back on my career, I wanted to help new nurses

aid, completed nursing school and have been

in the transition from school to the bedside. My

in a variety of positions from bedside nurse to

Fourteen years in the PACU as a manager saw a

book “Behind my Stethoscope” was published

ICU and clinical RN to Nurse manager. I’ve tried

lot of changes working with 2 budgets; PACU and

December 1st 2020 and I’m so excited about the

to retire twice but something keeps pulling me

the Anesthesiology budget. Our unit had a staff

possibilities. It contains stories that happened

back. I currently work as the Pre-op COVID

of 34 plus nurses. During my tenure as Nurse

throughout my career which I hope will help new

testing nurse at Tallahassee Memorial Hospital

Manager, we had a very low staff turnover, high

nurses see what their career might be like. The

(TMH). My entire nursing career has been at this

employee satisfaction rate and a waiting list of

ups, downs and challenges and that we are all in

same hospital.

staff that wanted to work with us.

this together.

As a Nurse Manager, I was part of several

My favorite experience of all was working

I may be headed into retirement from direct

major expansion areas at TMH. Under my

with nursing students at various stages in

patient care, but I don’t see me wandering far

management, the Central Registration area was

their education. Working with the leadership

from nursing. I hope to be able to help new

created and designed to have one central place

students gave me the opportunity to share my

nurses as they head into this ever changing and

that patients entered our facility. The Outpatient

experiences and areas of strength with future

challenging world of healthcare."

unit was expanded from a 20 bed unit to a 24 bed

leaders. Working with these students gave me an

unit with an additional 10 bed 23 hour hold over

amazing confidence in the future of nursing.

tallahassee woman | 28 | februar y • march 2021

Fit:

The ability to perform without un-due stress or physical harm

www.fitfunctional.com | (850)228-3422

save

ENERGY

save

MONEY

save

WATER

The City of Tallahassee Utilities offers a variety of rebates, grants and loans that help make your savings wish list come true. Visit Talgov.com to learn more.

tallahassee woman | 29 | februar y • march 2021

Living Local |

COMMUNITY

Celebrating

BLACK HISTORY Honoring African American Women

Commissioner Dianne Williams-Cox A leading advocate for enhanced women’s rights, Dianne is the second Black female elected to the City Commission. She brings the voice of diversity and inclusion in policy making to the Commission and is a voice for the voiceless.

Earned a B. S. Degree from Florida A&M University in Data Processing Technology and subsequently earned a Master’s in Business Administration from Nova Southeastern University.

A servant leader at heart, Dianne has served in many leadership roles in the community, church and her sorority, Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc. Dianne is married to Tommy Cox, mother to three adult sons and six grandchildren.

Dr. Joedrecka S. Brown Spieghts Dr. Spieghts is a Professor and Chair of Family Medicine and Rural Health at Florida State University College of Medicine. She is a fellow of the American Academy of Family Physicians and fellowship-trained in maternal child health (MCH). Her experience includes medical director of a National Community Center of Excellence in Women’s Health, Office of Women’s Health, Department of Health and Human Services, where she enjoyed full scope Family Medicine including operative obstetrics, and global health. She is an Atlantic Fellow for Health Equity. Her primary practice location is FSU Primary Health. She and her husband Gregory co-Pastor University Ministries International.

tallahassee woman | 30 | februar y • march 2021

Photo By Michael Cork

Anita R. Favors

Anita R. Favors is the former City Manager for the City of Tallahassee, 1997 to 2015. Nurtured during her tenure, Tallahassee has the well-earned reputation of having some of the best Parks and Recreation and quality of life programs nationally, and many non-traditional government business services. Ms. Favors maintains a rigorous schedule of community service activities. She currently serves on the Boards of ElderCare Services, Fringe Benefits Management Corporation, Choose Tallahassee, and 100 Women Who Care. She is a member of Bethel AME Church, Delta Kappa Omega Chapter of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc., Tallahassee Chapter of The Links, Inc., and founding member of Oasis Center for Women and Girls. Ms. Favors has three children, four grandchildren, and is Great GlamMa to a six-month-old.

Robin K. Haggins Robin Haggins love of education and mission is to empower individuals through mentoring.

Graduating with two degrees from Florida State University, Robin has been active in higher education for over 25 years. As the new Director of Transfer Student Services, at Florida State University, she will continue her role preparing students for a seamless transition into the university community. As a former Professor at Tallahassee Community College for over 18 years, Robin taught College Success, Leadership and Career Planning Courses. Her goal is to ensure that students attending college attain a holistic collegiate experience.

Robin enjoys her time with her family, friends and travel. She is married to Odell Haggins and has a daughter, Amelia.

tallahassee woman | 31 | februar y • march 2021

Living Local |

HAUTE HAPPENINGS

Celebrating

THE SPECIAL DAYS OF FEBRUARY AND MARCH FEBRUARY 1 NATIONAL GET UP DAY According to the National Day Calendar, National Get Up Day encourages us to share our stories of perseverance and moments when we have found the strength to proceed onward. National Get Up Day is our day to uplift each other with our powerful stories of courage, acknowledge the power in the self that enables us to rise despite our hardship. In Maya Angelou’s poem “Still I Rise,” she pens, “Just like moons and like suns, // With the certainty of tides, // Just like hopes springing high, // Still I'll rise,” (9-12).

On National Get Up Day, we celebrate the strength that Angelou writes of, our personal moments when we too have risen in the presence of difficulty.

FEBRUARY 11 NATIONAL GIVING HEARTS DAY February 11 is our day to let our hearts guide us, to allow our human compassion to ooze outward into the world. Commemorating its fourteenth year in 2021, Giving Hearts Day occurs on February 11 and calls upon us to donate to our favorite charities. Even the smallest action can make a difference. Let your heart give this February.

FEBRUARY 13 GALENTINE’S DAY On February 13, it’s time to celebrate your gals! In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, the day before the notable holiday is our day

F

ebruary and March are commonly known for Valentine's Day, Black History, and Women's History. There are a number of other exciting, extraordinary, and educational celebrations occurring these two months. We wanted to share them a few with you you that are centered around self-care, empowerment, and generosity.

to extend our celebration of love to the women that mean the most to us. While the celebrations may look differently this year, the love and appreciation that we all possess for the special ladies in our lives will prevail.

FEBRUARY 17 NATIONAL RANDOM ACTS OF KINDNESS DAY The year 2020 truly showed us the power in kindness and the beauty in humanity that rises above our struggles. February 17 is our day to honor the magic in compassion by participating in a random act of kindness. Whether it’s paying for the meal of the person behind you in line, sending a kind note or flowers to a loved one, donating to a charity, dropping off groceries at a local food pantry, or donating old blankets to an animal shelter, leave your mark of kindness upon the world this February 17.

FEBRUARY 27 NATIONAL SKIP THE STRAW DAY It’s time to ditch the plastic on February 27 in honor of Mother Earth. Be a part of the solution this February, and enjoy a planet-passionate beverage, no-straw style!

MARCH 5 NATIONAL DAY OF UNPLUGGING We’re all guilty of spending more than enough time plugged in and absorbed in the blue-light of screens. March 5 is our day to unplug from it all and spend time in nature, visit a friend without the distraction of cellphones, or read the book we’ve been meaning to open for months.

Enjoy your day of resetting, relaxing, and recharging this March---technology free!

MARCH 6 NATIONAL PLAY OUTSIDE DAY

Maintaining the restorative spirit of March 5, on March 6, we celebrate the beauty, the healing and nourishing powers of the outdoors. On March 6, get outside and simply breathe, rejuvenate and regenerate the self. Your mind, body, and spirit will thank you.

MARCH 8 INTERNATIONAL WOMEN’S DAY On March 8, we celebrate ourselves, the women that came before us, and the women that lead presently. We mark our commitment to challenge the gender inequality and bias. This year’s campaign theme is #ChooseToChallenge, as “a challenged world is an alert world.

Individually, we're all responsible for our own thoughts and actions - all day, every day. We can choose to challenge and call out gender bias and inequality. We can choose to seek out and celebrate women's achievements. Collectively, we can create an inclusive and more gender-equal world.

From challenge comes change.” On March 8, let’s all take the challenge.

MARCH 12 NATIONAL PLANT A FLOWER DAY Who doesn’t love flowers? On March 8, grab your shovels and seeds in celebration of National Plant A Flower Day. Plant your own future flowers into the earth and watch your creations bloom with life. After all, Spring is right around the corner!

MARCH 29 NATIONAL MOM AND POP BUSINESS OWNERS DAY Small businesses need our support more than ever. March 29 is our day to show our love for these tiny-but-mighty businesses. It is our support that keeps these vital shops alive. Shop local and shop small this March!

tallahassee woman | 32 | februar y • march 2021

March 25, 2021 | 5:30 pm

CELEBRATING

YE A R

S

CELEBRATING YE A R

tallahassee woman | 33 | februar y • march 2021

S

ON T H E C OV E R

DESPITE AND PERHAPS BECAUSE OF THEIR MULTIFACETED EXPERIENCES, THEY HAVE A COMMON PURPOSE TO SERVE THIS PRESENT AGE.

LADDER LEADERS OF LEGACY

I

BY DR . CH A N TA H AY WOOD | PHOTOGR A PH Y BY K I R A DE R RY BE R RY

n 1965, when the Voting Rights Act passed prohibiting racial discrimination in voting, Vice President Kamala Harris was just ten months old. By the time she was three, Brooklyn native Shirley Chisholm became the first black woman elected to Congress. Four years after that, Chisholm would run for president.

Although she was not successful, I can't help but imagine that eight-year-old Kamala looked at Chisholm and imagined herself as a leader and public servant. Kamala's mother- a respected scientist raising two girls alone- would nurture and support her daughter's aspirations. She provided her own personal example of what happens when you mix faith with hard work. As a result, when girls and women around the world witnessed her daughter take her oath of office on January 20, 2021, they experienced the power of possibilities.

Similarly, girls and women in Tallahassee are admiring the elected officials featured today. When you read about these women and their "why" for being public servants, you will see parallels with Kamala Harris.

Their backgrounds are diverse and varied. Despite and perhaps because of their multifaceted experiences, they have a common purpose to "serve this present age." In doing so, they are paving the way for the next generation of girls and women who will lead the helm of identifying our problems, creating policies to solve them, enacting and interpreting laws to correct them, and making decisions to change them.

Two little girls born to Judge Tiffany Baker wake up daily with a real-life example of who and what they can be. Judge Baker's "why" is to be a model for her two daughters while she ensures that everyone she serves from the bench receives fair and equitable treatment.

Judge Nina Ashenafi-Richardson models incisive leadership and graceful strength. Raised by a single father who immigrated to America, she taught her daughters the value of honesty and respect for all people that he instilled in her and her sister. Those principles are seen in the decisions she makes from the bench as well.

Gwendolyn Marshall's leadership approach took root in the farming community she was raised in.

She saw her grandmother plant and harvest other people's crops. Her mother cared and advocated for disabled community members. Their work ethic and respect and regard "for the least of them" inform her style of leadership in the Clerk of Courts office.

Commissioner Carolyn Cummings' mother's advocacy for poor children in her rural Mississippi town also laid the foundation for her public service work.

Her mother inspired her as an attorney, businesswoman, and female voice on the Commission.

Senator Loranne Ausley also advocates for children living in poverty. Her "why" is to address food and housing insecurity caused by inequities in our education and health systems. She works to ensure that EVERY SINGLE KID has the opportunity to thrive.

This is an issue Representative Allison Tant knows all too well. Her mother lived in poverty. Her father was raised in an orphanage all of his life, and her adult child lives with special needs. Her loved ones' reali-

tallahassee woman | 34 | februar y • march 2021

Growing up as an introvert, Judge Angela Dempsey knows firsthand what is it like to have to find a suppressed voice. Once she claimed hers, she vowed to speak up for those who cannot. She serves as a mentor and as a judge working to advance the legal field.

SENATOR LORANNE AUSLEY

During this transformative time in public leadership, these women are continuing the rich legacy of Soujourner Truth, Ida B. Wells, Susan B Anthony, Abigail Adams, Shirley Chisholm, Hillary Clinton, Gloria Steinem, Mary Jo Haywood, Susan Brownmiller, Kate Millett, and so many women who prepared the way for them. These trailblazers will be proud of the road Tallahassee's women elected officials are paving for the best generation.

CAROLYN CUMMINGS

ties have given her a unique perspective on valuing and advocating for the people whose voices are muted because of their circumstances.

What is your why?

My happiness is intertwined with my service to others. As a mother, nothing brings me more joy than to serve my daughters as a role model who is respectful, charitable, and God-fearing.

As an attorney, my service to my clients inspired others to see them as citizens, deserving of all rights and protections afforded by our state and federal constitutions. As Circuit Judge, my why

What is your why?

is to serve this community and treat everyone

I grew up during the Civil Rights Era, in the

with dignity and respect and courageously follow

poorest county in Southern Mississippi. l saw my

the law and be impartial in its application. My

Mother advocate for the health, education and

why is simply to ensure that every member of our

welfare of poor children in the midst of racial

community feels confident in our justice system.

threats and intimidation. She organized the first federally supported Head Start Program in

What can women do to have a voice, advocate and make a difference from your viewpoint?

Perry County, Mississippi. Through the program,

My advice to other women is to let your why be

steadfast advocacy shaped my ambition to help

your voice. That means you must first solidify

others and laid the foundation for my life as a

your why. Make sure that it wakes you up in the

public servant.

morning and that it motivates and drives you,

The late Senator Robert Kennedy once said,

even when money is not a factor. Your why should

"Some men see things as they are and ask why...

inspire you to be a better you – if it inspires you, it

I dream of things that never were and ask why

will inspire others. Then, find your cornerstones.

not.” Just as Senator Kennedy indicated, I do

For me, they are God, family, music, and love.

not ask why, I ask why not. As one of seven Leon

hundreds of preschool children received dental and vision care for the very first time. Her

Your cornerstones will keep you grounded and

County Commissioners, and the only Black

What is your WHY?

focused on your why. Finally, do your why, and

female voice, I have the unique opportunity to

There is so much good work going on in

do it loudly, over and over again. Be courageous

bring fresh leadership and diverse ideas. Being a

our community, yet we still have too many

and unapologetic. Do not wait for permission

practicing attorney and business owner for over

children living in poverty. The statistics on

or validation. Root for yourself, learn from your

(37) years and now a Leon CountyCommissioner

food and housing insecurity are staggering and

mistakes, and persevere! Let your work validate

at Large, there is an inescapable reality here,

exacerbated by longstanding inequities in our

you. And never ever be silent in the presence of

which answers Senator Kennedy's question of

education and health systems. This is my WHY–

wrong. This is the making of a voice that cannot

"why not.”

working to connect and leverage good work

be ignored.

What can women do to have a voice, advocate and make a difference from your viewpoint?

into building a strong community to ensure that EVERY SINGLE KID has the opportunity to thrive.

Everyone can be a part of making a difference by finding out what is going on in the community - getting proximate to those who may have a different life experience and advocating in the way that works best for you. You can volunteer your time, make a financial contribution, advocate to elected officials or simply to your

I am proud to be part of the movement where

JUDGE TIFFANY BAKER

What can women do to have a voice, advocate and make a difference from your viewpoint?

women have dared to become part of the conversation, by lifting their voices to support not only women's rights and gender equality, but also economic prosperity, liberty and justice for all. With the presence of women in positions of prominence, perhaps others will be encouraged to take a leap of faith to fulfill a lifelong dream.

Similarly, as my Mother inspired me, I will continue her legacy with the hope of inspiring

friends on social media – and it WILL make a

others regardless of gender, to realize that all

difference!

things are possible with hard work, perseverance and prayer. tallahassee woman | 35 | februar y • march 2021

ON T H E C OV E R

JUDGE NINA ASHENAFI RICHARDSON

What is your WHY? My why is to provide people in my charge the voice, compassion, and resources so that they are

What is your WHY? I work hard every day to make a difference in the justice system. Achieving efficiencies and improving relationships with our justice system

from very humble beginnings. As a young child, I watched my grandparents take care of other people's livestock and pick their gardens. My mother once worked as a substitute teacher for the mental and physically challenged students, and sometimes would bring them home so that their families could have break. I spent half of my professional career in the customer service industry and in serving the public.

I volunteered with my church on several community outreach ministries. These experiences have shaped how I serve. Whether it be my family, employees, or customers, my goal is to make sure that everyone has

What is your WHY?

the tools and knowledge to improve their lives so that

My WHY has grown and evolved over time. In my

they can survive whatever life throws at them.

20's, my why was to make my Dad, Dr. Ashenafi,

CLERK OF COURTS GWENDOLYN MARSHALL

JUDGE ANGELA DEMPSEY

empowered to succeed. I grew up on a farm and come

partners is “my why.” Resolving cases fairly and efficiently is so important to the litigants in each case and to the system. I am proud to take an active role in case management, and I strive to foster trust in our justice system. I have also enjoyed the opportunity to design and teach judicial education courses to the other 600 Circuit Judges in Florida. I am a mentor to law students and young lawyers. Mentoring plays a vital role in the practice of law, where many skills are honed through trial and error. Covid-19 continues to pose challenges to the justice system, but I believe we can overcome those challenges.

What can women do to have a voice, advocate and make a difference from your viewpoint?

The legal field and judiciary have traditionally been male dominated. That has improved significantly in the past several decades. However, women need to continue to push for a seat at the table. There are many ways to accomplish this goal. Seeking election to public office is one, but so is serving on a Florida Bar committee or similar professional committee, joining Rotary or another civic group, teaching, or volunteering. Find your niche, and strive to make improvements where you can. I have found this often requires patience. Know that you will not be able to please everyone. Persevere anyway. Support and encourage other women to achieve their goals. Don't be afraid to operate outside of your comfort zone. Growing up, I was an introvert. However, I have learned to speak up and have found my voice. I use my voice to improve the legal field as a judge, in Florida Bar work, judicial education and mentoring law students and young lawyers.

proud. He sacrificed so much raising me and my sister as a single Father. Then my WHY grew to being the best attorney I could be when I had the honor of representing K-12 teachers and university faculty. I continue to hold educators and school-related personnel in the highest esteem. Now, my WHY has expanded beyond what I could have ever imagined in my 20's. It is to keep the promise I made when I was elected in 2008, 2014 and 2020, and that is to serve at the highest level of professionalism by being a fair and knowledgeable judge who treats all people with dignity and respect. There is not a day that goes by that I don't feel thankful to my beloved

What can women do to have a voice, advocate and make a difference from your viewpoint?

community for electing me to serve on the bench.

One way for women to have a voice is to run for

years, Curtis Richardson and our two precious

public office. In today’s political climate where

daughters, Carina and Aida. It is my sister, Senait,

representatives often vote a party line, gender plays

and my circle of empowering friends.

At all times - my WHY includes my deep and abiding faith. It is my love for my husband of 30

a role in how the laws that are introduced. Women

to consider the gendered effects of major legislative

What can women do to have a voice, advocate and make a difference from your viewpoint?

changes. Therefore, we need women’s representation

The suffragettes, whose shoulders we stand

in politics to ensure effective policy choices.

upon, used their voices and advocacy to make

are more likely to advocate for and introduce laws on issues primarily affecting women and children and

a difference in our country. It is difficult to In addition, women must be unapologetically who we

imagine that 100 years ago women could not own

are and courageous in speaking up for our beliefs and

property, run for public office or vote. Thanks to

values. In the words of Audre Lorde, “When I dare to

their vigilance, more women voting and serving in

be powerful, to use my strength in service of my vision,

public office today. We must always embrace the

then it becomes less and less important whether I

opportunities presented to us, but also continue

am afraid.” Volunteer on campaigns or at businesses

to work on gender equality issues so we too can

owned by women. Not only would you be supporting

pave a smoother path for future generations. It

another woman, but you can learn from examples set

has never been more important for women to

by other women. Our collective voices have so much

participate in society, to share our stories and

power to create change in the world. tallahassee woman | 36 | februar y • march 2021

What is your WHY?

of my favorite quotes on this is by Elizabeth Lesser,

My decision to seek elective office came from a

What can women do to have a voice, advocate and make a difference?

"Stand firmly in what you know in your heart of

compelling drive to be a voice for those among us who

Every woman should stop doubting themselves and

hearts. Be exactly who you are, unapologetically

are voiceless, vulnerable, and deliberately ignored. As

asking themselves, “Why me, what do I have to offer

and with great passion and positivity. Cultivate

the daughter of a mother born into poverty, living with

that someone else does not?” Instead, ask yourself,

an inner courage to speak your truth, and out of it

constant food insecurity, and a father who was raised

“Why NOT me?” Do not be afraid to try. Do not ask for

action comes."

in an orphanage from ages 8 to 18, I am all too aware

permission to begin working on something you feel

of how fortunate I was in my family’s narrow escape

strongly about. Identify others who care about what

from their circumstances. I am similarly aware that so

you care about and join their effort. If there is not a

many others have not. As the mother of an adult child

group, create one and surround yourself with people

with developmental disabilities, I have fought for his

smarter than you, with different experiences than you

education, services, and meaningful adulthood. I am

who can teach you as you teach them. Volunteer with

painfully aware that families like mine with the cards

philanthropic and civic organizations, your church

stacked against their loved ones face roadblocks that

or your child’s school. Meet with board members

require state policy changes. I am prepared to pursue

of groups doing meaningful work you value. Seek a

them. It is also my intention to be the best possible

board position with a group you would like to join, and

advocate for our community, harnessing the collective

then complete the tasks assigned to you, growing your

heart and intellect of Tallahassee’s citizenry to bring

knowledge base and contacts. Build relationships

to the State House. The wonder of this community is

with community and elected leaders so they know

what makes Tallahassee unique in the state. We have

that you can be counted on to help with community

a deep bench of policy expertise, legislative advocacy,

matters, and investigate city and county citizen

state government experience, and academic,

boards. There is a plethora of options in Tallahassee,

business, and nonprofit leadership. It is a privilege to

and everyone can find a place to make a difference.

REPRESENTATIVE ALLISON TANT

support one another. Refuse to be silenced. One

represent the citizens of our community in the State House.

The cover women photos were taken individually and digitally comprised to create a group photo, following all Covid precautions and protocols. Kira Derryberry Photography

Congr atul ati on s

to all the elected women leaders of Tallahassee!

Thank you for your dedication and service.

GERRY CASHIN

TABITHA FRAZIER

JACQUELINE PORTER

ROSANNE WOOD

Piney-Z Community Development,

Leon Soil and Water Conservation,

City Commission, Seat 1

School Board Chair, District 2

District Seat 2 Supervisor

District 3 Supervisor

JESSICA FERRIS

DORIS MALOY

DEE DEE RASMUSSEN

JESSICA YEARY

Leon Soil and Water Conservation,

Tax Collector

School Board District

Public Defender

District 1 Supervisor

(Due to Covid precautions and other limitations, all leaders were not able to be featured on the cover).

at Museums of the World

By Regina Lynch-Hudson Photography by Courtland Bivens III

tallahassee woman | 38 | februar y • march 2021

Around the globe, museums large and small, and the populations they serve, are surviving the pinch of COVID-19, as prohibited and limited entries impact how we view the most significant art and antiquities collections on the planet.

As a museum aficionado, the yearning to view objects of beauty and historical significance always ranks high on my travel itinerary.

Since the outbreak of coronavirus, I’ve been able to virtually “stroll” throughout museums and other spirit lifting institutions both virtually and with adherence to vigilant guidelines and protocols.

North Carolina’s limited-capacity re-opening of museums allowed a weekend visit to Swannanoa Valley Museum to view my personally curated exhibit installation — saluting the laborious contributions of my forebears.

Masks and social distancing were required. Rest assured, modern-day mask requirements do not mean sacrificing on fashion or style. Aptly, in honor of four ancestors honored on larger-than-life size banners, I donned a Crystal Tear Drop Mask, symbolic of the tears shed by African slaves, Native Americans and populations of color, whose blood, and sweat soak America’s soil.

One of four 7-foot panels depicted one of the most powerful women in Western North Carolina, my greatgreat grandmother, Medicine tallahassee woman | 39 | februar y • march 2021

Woman/ Healer, Mary Lousia Stepp Burnette Hayden. Her skills as an herbalist and natural healer combined with her extensive knowledge of the area’s common mountain plants–golden seal, black cohosh, crushed ragweed, ginger and garlic–enabled her to look after the health of entire families. Had Mary Louisa Stepp been born in 1958 instead of ca.

1858, her legacy could have very well been that of a physician, pharmacist or president of her own holistic nutrition company.

As we explored the museum, we pondered what we would give for access to her healing and immune strengthening remedies today. history.swannanoavalleymuseum.org

Thanks to 21st century technology, count-

Coronavirus Journaling Project, an initiative

ing memories of a vacation in Egypt, the

less museum exhibitions and installations

that welcomes women, girls, and gender

enchanting homeland of Cleopatra and

are currently available, utilizing a myriad

non-binary individuals to participate in

Nefertiti.

of platforms: from interactive videos to

recording their personal reflections and

www.louvre.fr

slideshows. Allow me to escort you on an

experiences during the unprecedented

online journey to three museums that you

pandemic.

Vatican Museums, Rome

can discover without long lines or entry

www.womenshistory.org

While I wasn’t able to dance among the

fees— all accessible by laptop.

The National Women’s History Museum, Alexandra, Virginia

The Louvre, Paris

classical sculptures during my cyber-tour of the Vatican Museums, I was able to

The Louvre offers complimentary online

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Business |

MEN WHO MEAN BUSINESS

10 INTERVIEWING TIPS

COMMUNICATING CONFIDENCE AND COMPETENCE

By: TWM Editorial Staff

1. PREPARE FOR THE INTERVIEW

7. LISTEN

Research the company website, names of the executive team, mission, vision and review the job advertisement carefully so that you can speak to all aspects of the description.

Take time to breathe and relax so that you are comfortable. Select an appropriate outfit.

Use a ring light and prepare the professional setting for your background (lighting is critical). Practice some of the answers that you anticipate. Prepare a list of provocative questions you would like to ask of the potential employer. Arrive early whether it is a face to face or a virtual interview.

There is a balance – a give and take to communicating. Demonstrate that you are a great listener. Pay attention to the details and take mental notes for future reference.

2. PRINT OUT YOUR RESUME OR CV TO REFER DURING THE INTERVIEW

Attitude is everything. Do not speak negatively about past jobs, employers or colleagues as there is no upside to doing this and usually has negative implications.

(Make sure it is updated). Use Bloom’s Taxonomy action verbs on your resume to set you apart. Infuse these words into your presentation as applicable. These include verbs from six categories: knowledge, comprehension, application, analysis, synthesis and evaluation.

3. DISPLAY PROFESSIONAL DISPOSITIONS

8. BE AUTHENTIC Genuineness is valued so be yourself as everyone else is taken. It is okay to share something unique about yourself as the conversation permits.

9. BE POSITIVE 10. CLOSE STRONG AND CONFIDENT In your closing statement, communicate that you understand the role and expectations, thank everyone for their time and ask about the next steps in the process. Let them know you are looking forward to the future.

What type of person and personality align with this line of work? Demonstrate your professional dispositions in your language, demeanor, body language/non-verbal cues, wardrobe, vocal tone. If interviewing in person, the firm handshake is the norm (not during Covid, however).

4. COMMUNICATE Have a strong opening statement. Balance soft skills so that you are building rapport and connecting with the interviewing team. The way you connect with others can make all the difference in the final selection. Eliminate filler words such as um, uh, like, you know, er, yeah, etc. Using filler words detracts from the quality of your speech and you may be perceived as a weaker candidate for the position.

5. CONFIDENCE Use your confident voice and communicate clearly using inflection as needed to convey your enthusiasm. Let them know you understand the job and your professional background makes you uniquely qualified. Succinctly state your performance/track record as it pertains to the role for which you are interested. Do not downplay your accomplishments, but share appropriately. Speaking clearly and confidently makes an impression.

6. PITCH YOUR PASSION Share a story of your why. Your enthusiasm will shine through naturally when speaking about your experiences and career goals. Feel free to share or elaborate when answering questions that demonstrate your skill sets. This is your time to convince the audience that you are the ideal person for the position. Let them know you are a team player and a collaborator. This is a valued skill that goes a long way.

tallahassee woman | 44 | februar y • march 2021

tallahassee woman | 45 | februar y • march 2021

Wellness WELLNESS

DRIVE YOUR DREAM VISION

A

Life, Leadership and Love

By Dr. Michelle Mitcham, LMHC, NCC, CCMHC, CFM

re you living the DREAM? Your dream?

Perhaps you are feeling as though you are living someone else’s dream. Are you living your best quality life? Why or why not?

How do you put yourself or your company first and drive your dream vision for the future? There are many strategies or “secrets” to success. As a success coach, trainer and consultant, I often speak about drive, motivation, goals and strategies for success. Sometimes, there are real or perceived obstacles preventing us from bringing our dreams to fruition; making our dreams a reality. It is a process and takes time. Driving your dream vision also takes faith, patience and perseverance. For example, you may consider applying Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs model to your business or life, to help guide your actions, dreams or vision. Once the basic physiological needs are met in one’s life or the organization, needs of safety, belonging, esteem and self-actualization follow, not necessarily in that order. Everyone wants to feel appreciated and experience high self-efficacy in their roles. To create this reality, it takes intentional actions, mindfulness and appreciation for each individual. Leaders play a key role in exemplifying professional dispositions and leading by example. To achieve the dream life, love or leadership role, an investment in self is the secret.

Building relationships is key. The first and most important healthy relationship begins with self, which cannot be emphasized enough. Women must believe they are worthy.

Oftentimes, lack of worthiness is at the core of the problem, the root of all things not positive, not yet discovered.

Practicing “I am worthy of__” statements may prove to be life changing. Examples include, worthy of love, happiness, respect, safety, kindness, healthy relationships, success, appreciation, opportunity, and acknowledgment. The mind attracts that which it dwells upon and acknowledges.

Practicing daily positive affirmations aloud, in a journal, or in a team meeting, cultivates an atmosphere conducive to

transformational relationships, leadership and loving relationships. Sometimes, individuals or businesses may have to seek the assistance of a facilitator to work on team building or revisiting the mission or vision of the company.

First, use guided imagery to practice and experience mindfulness and the here and now. Guided imagery is used for relaxation, meditation, processing of feelings; to center oneself. Being in the right mindset or frame of mind, assists with openness to possibility and clearing negative thoughts.

Creating a Vision Board Now it is time to create your vision board using poster board or any size card stock. Making sevra mini-boards is quite common. You may consider making a vision board for your personal life and one for your professional life or career goals. Cut out pictures, symbols and letters out of magazines and if you make scrap books, you may also have lots of stickers, yarn, glitter or other art supplies. You may also want to draw some of your own pictures or symbols. You may consider adding a tentative date next to some of your goals.

This practice may enhance your goals coming to fruition.

Have fun and complete this activity with a friend, partner or family member for a quality time.

TO DRIVE YOUR DREAM VISION FOR YOUR BEST LIFE, LEADERSHIP OR LOVE, REMEMBER THESE SUCCESS STRATEGIES.

D R E A M

DARE TO IMAGINE AND BECOME; DO IT; DON’T APOLOGIZE. DECIDE. REFLECT, RE-INVENT AND RENEW RELATIONSHIPS WITH SELF/OTHERS ENVISION, EMPOWER, ENGAGE, EMBRACE ALWAYS HAVE FAITH; ALLOW YOURSELF TO AIM FOR GOALS; ACTUALIZE MINDFULNESS; MEDIATION, MANDATORY TIME OUT FOR YOU; MAKE TIME FOR DREAMING, WELLNESS, SELF-CARE AND CREATIVITY

tallahassee woman | 46 | februar y • march 2021

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Join us on our FB page to hear interviews from women in our community and from women featured in TWM magazine.

tallahassee woman | 47 | februar y • march 2021

Family FAMILY

When Love Hurts

HOW TO SPOT RED FLAGS OF TEEN DATING ABUSE

By Lilly Simons

M

any people associate the month of February with Valentine’s Day. It a day full of euphoria where we acknowledge and celebrate our loved ones. However, it is also a month in which we recognize the ways how love hurts, when young relationships fester with toxicity and violence.

As the organization Love Is Respect reveals, it is a problem that is more pervasive than you may have known as “one in three teens in the US will experience physical, sexual, or emotional abuse from someone they’re in a relationship with before they become adults, and nearly half (43%) of college women report experiencing violent or abusive dating behaviors.” Even more shocking is that, according to the Domestic Violence Awareness Project, “approximately 1.5 million high school students in the United States experience physical abuse from a dating partner and one-quarter of parents don’t talk to their teens about domestic violence.”

In 2010, however, Congress, as the Teen Dating Violence Month organization reports, planted the seed of change by dedicating “the entire month of February to teen dating violence awareness and prevention.” February is our month to spark dialogue, promote education challenge and bring awareness to the violence that plagues so many young lives right in front of us. We want to bring attention to the red flags that are signs that young people are going through dating violence.

As the University of Missouri reports, there are explicit warning signs to look for early on in teenage relationships that

indicate potential for a violent relationship to develop. Such signs include when a partner • Possesses excessive jealousy • Constantly checks in on their partner or makes them check in with him or her • Attempts to isolate their partner from friends and family • Insults or puts down people their partner cares about • Is too serious about the relationship too quickly • Has had a lot of bad prior relationships and blames all of the problems on the previous partners • Is very controlling, which may include giving their partner orders, telling them what to wear and trying to make all of the decisions for them • Blames their partner when he or she treats them badly by telling them all of the ways they provoked them • Does not take responsibility for their own actions • Has an explosive temper (“blows up” a lot) • Pressures their partner into sexual activity they are not comfortable with • Has a history of fighting, hurting animals or brags about mistreating other people • Believes strongly in stereotypical gender roles for males and females • Has their partner worried about how they will react to the things they say or are afraid of provoking their partner

• Owns or uses weapons • Refuses to let their partner end the relationship.

Being aware and educated upon these signs is vital. our knowledge can be the force that protects the teenagers in our life from the nightmarish reality of dating violence, the horrors of abuse.

Furthermore, Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month compels us to acknowledge the importance of dialogue, engaging in discussion. As the organization Break the Cycle’s “A Parent’s Guide To Teen Dating Violence: 10 Questions To Start The Conversation” writes, “though it may be uncomfortable for you, adults must understand and accept the realities of teen relationships and sexuality in order to make a real impact on the issue of teen dating violence. Don’t let your discomfort with the topic blind you...stop you from reaching out and communicating with your child” (1). We must address what makes a relationship healthy, the warning signs of abuse, the messages about dating abuse and relationships conveyed in the media and the fact that the “U.S. Department of Justice estimates that 85% of all relationship abuse victims are female and most abusers are male.”

We must check in with the teens in our lives and ask how their relationships are going and what their friends’ relationships look like, discuss the resources available if they or a friend need help and develop a plan for handling a situation in which they feel threatened (4;5;1;6). A mere conversation can truly save a life.

Teen dating violence is a prevalent issue; however, we can do our part to help. This February, we bring awareness to our responsibility as activists and mark our commitment to educating ourselves upon the warning signs of abuse and opening up the discussion with the teens in our lives.

Our actions hold the force of change. The power rests within our hands.

tallahassee woman | 48 | februar y • march 2021

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Food FOOD

Jamaican Cod Fish Fritters

D

o you love fish? What about island fish cakes? Try this simple recipe which takes only 30 minutes to make fresh, delicious Jamaican codfish fritters!

There are not many ways to mess this recipe up, as you can improvise and add the ingredients and seasonings you like. Pretend you were mixing up pancakes and adding fish to the batter and voila!

By TWM Staff 1. ½ bag salted boneless codfish

(found at seafood store, sometimes Publix) Also called bacaloa fish 8 oz.; put in large pot of water to boil for 15 minutes, drain; flake fish with fork into tiny pieces

2. 1 and one half cups of flour;

enough milk to make it look like pancakes

3. 2 eggs 4. Add dash of Herbamare, or jerk

6. Add the fish to the pancake mix

and stir until consistency of pancakes

seasoning, or pepper, garlic (or any seasoning you like)

7. Drop in hot oil by the spoonful,

5. Add a little diced tomato and

8. Fry and turn over with fork until

scallion – fresh to mix; add more milk if needed for pancake consistency

tallahassee woman | 50 | februar y • march 2021

like dollar size pancakes

golden brown.

WE Insire

7

SELF-CARE HABITS OF SUCCESSFUL WOMEN

By Dr. Michelle Mitcham, LMHC, NCC, CCMHC, CFM

She prioritizes time and makes an appointment for fierce self-care. This includes exercise, personal training, massage, spa time, yoga, walking, getting sunshine, pampering, etc.

1

2

She eats healthy. Making smart food choices.

Eating clean/organic. Taking CRAP out of her diet: Carbonated drinks – Refined sugars – Artificial food – Processed food.

3

Successful women flex their minds and engage in creative thinking – new ideas, learning, reading and creating things; new business ideas, art, new skills – it is never too late to learn.

4

She engages in mind, body spirit balance; those things that speak to her soul. This may call for some alone time to meditate; reflect and renew. This also includes quality time and connecting with those special people in your life.

5

She uses her voice to “walk the talk” and be congruent, maintaining healthy boundaries with others and learning to say no if something doesn’t fit in her plan or life.

6 7

She focuses on the positive perspective, the upside. Being thankful and having the attitude of gratitude every day. She does not engage in negativity, drama or spend time with negative people She shines her positive light on others, giving back, volunteering or mentoring someone.

tallahassee woman | 51 | februar y • march 2021

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