CLOSET LIFE
DEBUNKING SOME ASSUMPTIONS
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ot everyone’s coming out experience is the same: just because something works for one person, it doesn’t necessarily mean it will work for you. Tag ‘21 spoke to a 19-year-old to find out his advice on coming out. HOW DID YOU KNOW YOU WERE READY TO COME OUT? ‘I don’t really know, to be fair. I knew that I was gay for a long time, probably since I was in primary school, so it wasn’t a big surprise. I guess I was in Year 9, I wanna say? So middle-of-secondary-school kind of time. That’s when I was like ‘Ok’. You’ve got to wait until you’re comfortable yourself in your own sexuality before telling anyone else, so you always want to make sure you know what you know, and that your feeling is valid and everything.
There are a lot of other outside forces, that were kind of...not pressuring me, but people constantly saying ‘Oh, you’re gay! You’re gay!’ put a lot of pressure on me. I was like ‘Hmm...no’ but then I thought ‘you know what? Life would just be easier.’ So I was like ‘Yes’. It was around about the same time that I came out to my parents. I never technically came out to my dad, he just kind of knew, and we just kind of [spoke] about it, but it wasn’t like ‘Oh hi Dad, yes, I’m gay by the way’, it just got brought up in conversation. And that’s how it really is now. I can’t genuinely remember the last time I came out to someone, and was like ‘Oh yes, by
'DON'T FEEL PRESSURED BY ANYONE' the way I’m gay’. I just bring it up like ‘Oh yeah, I was with this guy the other night’ and they’re like ‘ok cool so you’re gay’ and I’m like ‘yes’. So I don’t really come out as such anymore, because I don’t really give a **** what people think.’ WAS THERE A SPECIFIC REASON YOU CHOSE TO COME OUT AS OPPOSE TO STAYING CLOSETED? ‘Yeah, so, I think it just makes life a bit easier, like when you are kind of open with your sexuality, people are still going to bully you and be hateful. That’s just human nature unfortunately, but I think it’s easier to deal with that when you are openly and 100% yourself. I think that probably what aggravates people more than most things is people guessing and talking about it behind your back, because obviously you know what you know, but no one else really does, and so it’s people constantly talking about
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who they think you are, and I think that’s what annoys me and I think probably quite a few other people. I think it’s just easier to deal with the hate when you are unashamably yourself, and you’re open with it, and then they’re like, ‘Omg you’re gay’ and you’re like ‘Yes? Everyone kind of knew that?’ It’s not a big issue, so yeah, I think that definitely spurred it on. I mean, for me, it’s just so much easier being open and out rather than being closeted. Obviously I understand 100% the reasons why people stay closeted for such a long time, but I genuinely could not imagine still having to be closeted because it’s just like you’re putting on a show 24/7, obviously trying to be someone you’re not. I know people say ‘Don’t make your sexuality your personality’, but I think if I wasn’t unashamedly gay, I don’t think I would be as funny, because a lot of my personality stems from gay culture. I also wouldn’t be able to have the same kind of personality that I do right now, because I wouldn’t be able to be openly expressing stuff from gay culture because it wouldn’t be ‘straight’ for me to do that. So I think it just lets you be 100% yourself, which is so much better, I couldn’t imagine trying to keep the act up like for as long as some people do, that’s just mental to me.’ DO YOU HAVE ANY TIPS OR ADVICE FOR ANYONE LOOKING TO COME OUT? ‘I would definitely say don’t rush into anything and don’t feel pressured by anyone; you’ve got to come out when you are ready to do it. There’s nothing wrong with waiting years to do it, if you’re not ready and comfortable, then don’t do it. My advice is, surround yourself with people that love you no matter what. You can definitely tell with certain people, if you’re with the kind of friends that make really homophobic jokes, same with racist jokes, they’re probably not the best people to be hanging out with. If you’re thinking of coming out as gay, bi, pan, whatever, you need to surround yourself with people that are 100% supportive because then you know that they’re not gonna judge you for being you. Luckily we now live in a day and age where
