COUNT TO FIVE

WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU'RE ARGUING WITH YOUR PARENTS

Parents just love to tell us what to do and what not to do, and it’s ok when you’re 10 and you don’t know what you want, but when you get to 14 you just want your own freedom. You may even get mad that your parents are still trying to control you and your life! At this point, however mad you feel, it is important not to say the wrong thing. This article is here to help!

When you get into an argument with your parents, it can be hard to control what you say because you may think they are in the wrong. However, you need to remember that they have more authority and they can issue punishments by grounding you or stopping your allowance. So take a deep breath, count to five, and don’t say the wrong thing in the heat of the moment. Your anger could inflame a bad situation and make it worse.

HOW WE FEEL

Some of us may feel our parents are like police controlling everything we do. When they are nagging about us staying out late or not answering their calls every time, it might help to remember they are just doing that to protect us and keep us safe, which is a good thing! Who do we turn to when we are frightened? Our parents! They are not just trying to be mean or go on a power trip, even though it might feel like it.

HOW TO SAY THE RIGHT THING

Here comes the hard part, saying the best thing when your parents are mad at you. Parents don’t like it when you tell them that you know better than they do. Listen to what they are saying by trying to tune the emotion out of their voices. Then take the intensity out of your own responses. It is OK to agree with them and say sorry, even if you feel like you did nothing wrong, or your behaviour wasn’t as bad as they are making out. This can diffuse the situation and may even earn you more respect, which means they leave you alone!

WHAT NOT TO SAY

A bad thing to say to your parents is that they “always” do this. This is like a red rag to a bull. Parents don’t like being told what they always do, even if it’s true. When arguing with your parents, try to show them that you are listening. Remember that your parents have probably been through what you have, and they may know what it can lead to.

THE TRUTH

Fact: teens argue with their parents. Families spend an average of 49 minutes a day arguing with each other. The truth is you just have to know what to say to not ruin your relationship with them. So, we know that we shouldn’t say “no” and that they “always do that” but there’s something else that you should know not to say to your parents and that’s that they are clueless! Obviously we sometimes say this to our parents because we think they don’t know what it’s like to be a teenager. Deep down, we know that parents do know because they were young once too.

AFRAID TO SPEAK TO THEM?

Many of us find it really hard to talk to our parents about things that are worrying us because we are afraid they will take it in the wrong way. We need to try and build a strong relationship with our parents so we are able to talk to them. We and our parents need to be on the same team even though we might not always be on the same page.

So now that we have gone through what not to say to your parents, we hope that you are able to diffuse and resolve arguments and not escalate them.

Sky April Design: Luke-Hearne Brown, Sky April Photography: Oscar Tarbox