ASK AUNTIE
TAG 21's AGONY AUNT ANSWERS ALL YOUR PROBLEMS
Disclaimer: Auntie’s answers are unofficial. The Tag team are not professional counsellors
SEXTING I really like this girl but I’m not sure if she likes me, and I don’t know how to ask her out. I think she’s interested but she has a boyfriend. My mate says it will impress her if I randomly send her a nude picture of a certain area. Will this impress her? Should I do it?
S
he will probably not be impressed and will most likely be put off. You have to stop and think about sending this kind of picture, before you do it. Presuming you are underage, if you send her a picture this counts as child porn, and you would get in trouble for having child porn on your phone and distributing it, even if it’s a picture of yourself. As well as this, she will not be impressed if you send her this picture. She never asked you to send it to her, and you are presuming what she wants. You are non-consensually sending her an intimate picture which is just disrespectful to her. Even if you are over the age of 18 you should still get their consent before sending pictures to someone or doing anything sexual online (for example over a video call). Even if you are in a relationship the other person might not be comfortable with this, so you should always make sure they are on the same boat as you before you do. Even if you are nervous to ask, your partner will probably appreciate this. If you’re over 18 it’s important to be careful
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and make sure this person is trustworthy before you send or do anything. The best way to impress her is by sending her a note or maybe just try asking her. It can be scary but it’s the respectful thing to do and she will probably be more impressed by your bravery to ask her out, than a picture of your area. Bear in mind that she already has a boyfriend, and you really need to be respectful of that at the moment. If she doesn’t like you she doesn’t like you, there are plenty of fish in the sea, it may be time for you to move on, and respect that she is in a relationship and is not interested.
RELATIONSHIP DRAMA I cheated on my girlfriend and now I can’t forgive myself. I don’t know if I will ever be able to get in a relationship again, what should I do?
I
m pleased your ’re reaching out to me about this situation, it is very brave of you to admit to this and ask for advice! Firstly I would like to say that if you have not told your girlfriend already the best thing to do would be to admit to her what you have done. The last thing you want is for it to end up coming out in a way that you would not like it to. Although a tricky and uncomfortable conversation to have, if she has to hear this news at all I’m sure she would appreciate hearing it from you. It is probably also going to be best to end the relationship. If you’re feeling this way, then the spark is probably not there and it is time for you to both move on. As for beating yourself up about it, obviously you have accepted what you did was wrong. You’re young and everyone makes mistakes. The important thing is to recognise the mistake you made and try and grow and learn from it. Take this as a learning experience for your
next relationship. Turn it into a positive thing that will help you grow as a person. Next time you are in a relationship if you get feelings like this let the person know rather than ending up in this same situation again.
ANXIETY IN SCHOOL I have just started Year 11 and I have to read to a bigger class than I am used to. The worst thing is that the teacher uses a random name picker to see who is going to read. When I get home I worry about having to read out loud to the class and sometimes the worrying keeps me up at night. When I say I don’t want to read the teacher tries to encourage me but this feels like more pressure. She doesn’t understand how I feel. Trying to read out loud makes me very nervous, my face goes red and I cannot talk properly. What can I do about this?
T
his sounds like a very scary situation for you, and is something I struggled with myself through Year 11. It’s hard when you are someone who is nervous and finds it a huge challenge to have the teacher call you out in front of everyone in the class and I really feel for you. This is a very tricky but very common worry for people who don’t like talking in front of others, so don’t feel like you’re alone. I would say to find a time outside of the lesson to explain everything to your teacher privately. I’m sure they will be very understanding and give you help with the situation in whatever way they can. If you don’t feel comfortable telling that teacher, find a teacher you more comfortable telling. Perhaps get a close friend to come with you to help you to explain.
