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CONGRATULATIONS

Well done for picking up this book – you have made a very wise choice indeed. It contains most of my best jokes and loads of the funniest jokes I’ve ever heard.

Before you start reading it, though, I think I need to make a few things clear. This book will NOT make you richer, it will NOT make you more popular and it WON’T make you taller (unless you stand on top of it – in that case it will make you around eight millimetres taller).

What I can say for sure is that this book WILL make you snort tea or milkshake (or whatever you happen to be drinking) out of your nose at least six times.

Enjoy these jokes and remember: if you would like to be eight centimetres taller, please buy ten copies of this book!

FANCy a KICK AROUND? maybe later ... I’ve got a better idea.

Yes! I made It In tIme!

I WONDER WHAT’S DOWN THERE?
FOR MUM, DAD, HANNAH, ADA, BOB, EVE, OTTO AND ALL THE OTHER PALINDROMIC PEOPLE

PUFFIN BOOKS

UK | USA | Canada | Ireland | Australia India | New Zealand | South Africa

Puffin Books is part of the Penguin Random House group of companies whose addresses can be found at global.penguinrandomhouse.com

www.penguin.co.uk www.puffin.co.uk www.ladybird.co.uk

First published 2025 001

Text and illustrations copyright © Olaf Falafel, 2025

The moral right of the author/illustrator has been asserted

The brands mentioned in this book are trademarks belonging to third parties

No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner for the purpose of training artificial intelligence technologies or systems. In accordance with Article 4(3) of the DSM Directive 2019/790, Penguin Random House expressly reserves this work from the text and data mining exception.

Text design by Janene Spencer Printed in Great Britain by Clays Ltd, Elcograf S.p.A.

The authorized representative in the EEA is Penguin Random House Ireland, Morrison Chambers, 32 Nassau Street, Dublin D02 YH68

A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library

ISBN: 978–0–241–78102–9

All correspondence to: Puffin Books

Penguin Random House Children’s One Embassy Gardens, 8 Viaduct Gardens, London SW11 7BW

Penguin Random Hous e is committed to a sustainable future for our business , our readers and our planet. is book is made from Forest Stewardship Council® certified paper

I’M A SATELLITE.

MY BUM’S BEEN SET-ALIGHT.

I HOPE THERE ARE JOKES ABOUT DOORS.

HELLO, FELLOW CLOUDS. I’M NOT A CLOUD.

WELL, WHAT ARE YOU, THEN?

AND JAM JOKES TOO.

YOU’LL FIND OUT ON PAGE 54.

WHEN IS A DOOR NOT A DOOR? WHEN IT’S AJAR.

WARNING

Please be warned – you won’t get every single joke in this book right away. Sometimes you might have to ask a grown-up to fully get the joke reference (and sometimes a grown-up might have to ask you!).

I have included these more sophisticated jokes because I know a lot of authors wouldn’t. Grown-ups often say things like, ‘Children are stupid and won’t understand that.’ I, however, know that despite you buying a book called A Poo on a Pogo Stick, you are definitely not stupid (OK, maybe just a little bit stupid!).

If there is a particular joke you don’t get, then you have four choices. Ignore it and move on. Research the word that you don’t understand. Ask a grown-up. Pull your eyelid down as far as it goes and then try blowing your nose.

The best thing about these kinds of jokes is that often you won’t get them until six months after you first read them. This means that, in theory, this book could actually last you until you are 112 years old – how’s that for value for money!

THANK YOU FOR NOTICING THIS NOTICE.

YOUR NOTICING IT HAS BEEN NOTED.

RIGHT, LET’S GET GOING!

WE’RE A COUPLE OF FEET AWAY FROM THE NEXT CHAPTER.

RABBIT FARTS

I have separated the jokes in this book into sections like ‘Food Jokes’ or ‘Knock-knock Jokes’ but, to be honest, sometimes I got bored of this and just randomly mixed jokes together. This is one of those random chapters. I have named these particular sections something stupid based on one of the jokes they contain. This one is called ‘Rabbit Farts’, which coincidentally is also the name of an aftershave I was given last Christmas. I hope you like it!

COME BACK!

YOU’LL HAVE TO B-SHARP IF YOU WANT TO CATCH ME.

What’s brown, goes ‘boing’ and knocks on your bedroom window at night?

A poo on a pogo stick!

What do you call a magician if you take away his magic? Ian.

If anyone says, ‘You’re as keen as mustard’... Take it as a condiment.

What do elephants have for lunch?

Half an hour, like the rest of the animals.

ARE SALT AND PEPPER JOKES SEASONAL?

WELL, I THINK WE SHOULD GET LONGER.

There was a huge queue to get into the World Dominoes Championships ...

Until I pushed the person at the back over.

What’s green and has wheels?

Grass – I lied about the wheels.

Doctor, I accidentally got a shrivelled conker stuck up my nose.

Ah, that old chestnut.

WAKE UP! WE’VE GOT MORE JOKES TO TELL. WHAT THE? HEY!

What was Beethoven’s favourite fruit?

BA-NA-NA-NA!

PLAY SOME ROCK AND ROLL!

WHAT A RACQUET!

Tubes of tennis balls should have serving suggestions on the side.

Why did the burrito go ‘brrrrrr’?

Because it was a little bit chilli.

SHOULDN’T THAT BE ‘POOOO’?

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