And So It Begins...
THE EARLY STAGES OF ABUSE by Laura Moseley
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hether you are a victim of abuse or a survivor, inevitably, you will be asked, “Why did you stay?” or “How did this start?” In being totally honest with the person asking the question, you would have to say, “It started like a fairy tale,” which is the most shocking fact to both the person asking the question and the person who experienced the abuse.
themselves. So, that will always seem completely normal. However, the abuser, who is typically all about power and control, will be starting out being so supportive of his/her significant other, and also showering tion and thoughtfulness is how they appear so adoring (as illustrated in the abuser’s Wheel of Control image). It is brought on so swiftly and rained down on their victim such that the victim
All intimate relationships start out with both parties showing the best parts of
their feet, not realizing that they are being groomed for exploitation. The victim,
PAIN. HEALING. ENDURANCE
not yet knowing he/she is a victim, forms a deep attachment to such a kind, thoughtful individual, who is making them feel loved and cared for, but more importantly, feel a false sense of protection. The abuser’s grooming falls within the Adoration phase of the abuser’s cycle, but falls within the Fantasy Setup part of the Victim’s Cycle of Abuse diagram. Sometimes, this is called “Love Bombing,” because of all of the positive and loving things happening. To the victim, this can include, but
