DEAR MONICA

Dear Monica Understanding your self worth

We often take for granted how special and unique we are. Through the experiences and encounters we have had with other people may have at times made us doubt ourselves which causes us to foster negative perceptions about ourselves. When we listen to others about how we must act, dress, eat, walk, talk and even feel causes these negative thoughts that we have about ourselves. These constant ridicules and rude remarks may come from family members, significant others and even the so-called friends that we have and their views can eventually take its toll. Merriam-Webster dictionary defines self-worth as “a sense of one’s own value as a human being”.

Shaped As human beings we are continuously shaped and molded by the images of others and of society. Weibell (2011) reports, “The basic assumption of the self-worth model is that multiple factors influence one’s sense of self worth”. Our environment plays an instrumental role in shaping/molding us such as our communities, family, friends, religion and even the education system. The community and its leaders can influence how we view ourselves because they can import their beliefs on us. These leaders may suggest that our direction in life should consist of generous amounts of volunteerism in our lives. The same community leaders in-

fluences also suggest that if you are not dedicating time to volunteer, then you can be viewed in a negative light and may describe this as being selfish or self-centered, which again is an unfavorable view of you from others.

When looking at relationships with family, friends and significant others it’s safe to say that they will have

person they want you to be. The variations of the person that your family, friends, and significant others may suggest for you could cause pressure on you because you may feel the need to conform to the image that they have of you in their minds. This can vary from being polite, passive, non-aggressive, quiet, complacent, compliant, and the list goes on and on. These expectations can be stressful and overwhelming at times especially when you

levels.

Religion can also influence the way we conduct ourselves in our lives. We may strive to be like religious people who are regarded as “living examples”. Educational institutions have also embedded societal exceptions that are taught through schools in subjects such as Social Studies, English and History. With so many external variables attempting to implant their versions of who you should be, it can definitely be overwhelming.

Identify Your Attributes You should take a look at these questions: who are you? What are some things that are unique about yourself?

from others? Look at these questions and answer them instead of focusing on what others think of you or focusing on those who only point out negative features. Celebrate your attributes! Applaud yourself for being smart, pretty, tall, short, witty, curious and whatever other attributes that make you uniquely you! I even challenge you to love your shortcomings as some would call them, such as your quirkiness, stuttering, freckles and other features that you have. All these features that make you distinctive. Can you imagine if we all ate, spoke, walk, sleep and think the exact same way? Embrace your idiosyncrasies! Acknowledge that you indeed are special and therefore you do not have to subscribe to the image of others to be liked or loved. Identify those skills, talents and abilities that you possess and conquer your dreams and your life goals with no regrets.

Just Be You Just be yourself no matter what the pressures that present to conform to societal norms, you still can hold your head up high while being true to yourself. If people are a part of your life or would like to be a part of your life, then understand that they will need to accept your qualities. I understand as humans become one within their marriage, there will be times you will adjust and compromise on some things to make your marriage successful. However, when adjusting or compromising within the marriage it should never be to the point or subjecting yourself to any forms of emotional verbal or physical abuse. The marriage and even other interpersonal relationships such as your family and friends, should never include continuous ridicule, constant negative comments and degrading remarks, those are not conducive to healthy relationships.

Look around you, celebrate with those who celebrate you. Support those who support you. Surround yourself with positive energy and positive mindsets. Love yourself, encourage yourself, and most importantly - never lose yourself.

Reference: Weibell, C. J. (2011). Principles of learning: 7 principles to guide personalized, student-centered learning in the technology-enhanced, blended learning environment. Retrieved September 16, 2020 from [https://principlesoflearning.wordpress. com].

On the surface, Amanda Dieumercie is your average pre-teen but she is so much more. Amanda is a leading student in her classes at changing lives academy Where she participates in many on campus activities such as volleyball At home she helps around that house as she works on her business. Amanda always ensured her peers with a positive attitude and a willingly attitude to help.

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