WHAT IS SELF WORTH

by Nichole Poole

The definition is clear, has all the positive qualities one point hit in my belly while self-esteem, “the in high quantity. Nobody is pregnant, being told I didn’t sense of one’s own perfect. Hence, building a deserve the life I was carryvalue or worth as a high self-esteem or appreci- ing inside of me etc. Over person.” It is how we view ating our self-worth comes the years, I began to believe and feel about ourselves as with ambition and struggle to everything that was being told individuals. Unfortunately for move out of situations that me: I was nothing but fat, and some, it’s a hard topic to hit. bring us down. It’s honestly no one else would ever want Like myself, I struggled with not an easy task, but many me. From being a horrible my self-image and how I felt have successfully redeemed mother, I will never become about myself for many years, their self-esteem. For in- anything. I found myself gofighting depression, anxiety, stance, coming out of a men- ing a downward spiral with my and surviving alone. I never tally abusive relationship (like depression eventually leading felt good about myself. me) can make us feel less to attempted suicide. In most cases, self-esteem is than what we really are, or After being in a mentally and - just even hitting a block in physically abusive relationship mas or abusive relationships the road. On a daily life basis, for 15 years, I couldn’t live later in life. There are many we all have our milestones life anymore, or so I felt. A - and life struggles (God only particular event when one of ceive ourselves mentally, and knows I’ve had so many), and my children had been harmed even how we see ourselves in knowing our own self-worth changed my life, I said enough the mirror. There are many can play a big part in how we was enough. I stood up for contributive parameters in- continue to live a better life myself and my children, and volved in someone’s self-defi- day by day. fought back. Being told for nition, like appearance, suc- so many years that I wasn’t cess, who you know and even I had found that my relation- worth anything and I couldn’t in the cases of how much one ship was becoming more con- do things, I decided to take makes financially. trolling and I was being called a look in the mirror and say It is noteworthy that nobody names, being put down, at yes, I am and yes, I can. AND

I DID!!! I started to focus on just me and my children for the better. My life began to turn around. After a life of struggles with mental health, abusive relationships and drug abuse, I eventually hit a rock bottom that was my wake-up call. It had to be about me. I made a drastic decision to make a choice so I could make a change.

I eventually found myself to be a single mother working a full-time job, with my own home and car, living the way I wanted to be, comfortable and wanting to stay that way. So I knew that we had the best that I could provide. I started to feel better about myself and knowing that every degrading thing that was ever told me was never true, I was worth something. I was worth MYSELF. I started to love who I was becoming and knowing that I could put my mind to anything. There are many ways through which one can help one’s confidence and acknowledge one’s self-worth. What I did to help with the struggle of trying to find myself again is that I started with Short-term and long-term goals, which is the number one recommended way to help with that. Who doesn’t like to make a to-do list and be able to mark something out and feel accomplished? I am always making new lists of things that I know I can progress in, even if it

In 2017, I met a man that changed my life. He loved me and my children, and treated us very well. A single dad himself, he knew what he wanted out of life like myself. I had realized at that point I had found my self-worth. I knew what I really wanted out of life and I fought for it. I never gave up.

The chance for modeling came to light and I saw an opportunity to be an inspiration to the ones around me along with myself, to help get my story out and to maybe help someone else that couldn’t see something in themselves. Hence, showing not just that I could do and be something, but anyone can do anything once they put their minds to it. With the right support and encouragement, you can do and be anything. I found myself to be encouraged to start modeling which, in a way, helped me to find expression and awareness of my beauty and value. I became more confident, driven and ambitious. I had found something along with myself that I loved to do. Bringing awareness, support and self-confidence in such a way has helped more individuals more than I had ever thought. I can now tell my story; even just a portion of it can enlighten someone that does not know how to approach his/her freedom, self-actualization, and authenticity. I, myself, have started to work close in my community with suicide awareness, addiction awareness and recovery services, and domestic abuse. Helping others has also helped me in so many ways and I encourage anyone and everyone that they can reach out for help; no matter the situation, do it! There are support groups and resources that can help in so many ways. And always remember that who you are is the most beautiful thing there is! You’re the one that is important, and you are beautiful!

pregnant for a fourth time, Johnnetta had enough and was determined to keep this life growing inside her. She started going back to church and gave her life back to Christ.

You see, you wouldn’t ask why the Rose that grew from concrete had damaged petals. On the contrary, we would celebrate its tenacity.”—Tupac

started to look promising for johnnetta in 2002, which is when she started dating a young man who promised her the world and even backed up some of his promises.

Born March 14th, 1979 in Washington, DC, Johnnetta Bennett was your typical little girl until the age of 6 years old. You see, at six years old is when the sexual abuse started with a 14 year old son of our mother's best friend. The abuse continued for several years and it was never spoken of. Johnnetta’s teenage years were full of promiscuity, rebellion, and a filling of emptiness she could never fill. This emptiness continued into her adulthood, which led to numerous of failed relationships and bad decisions that nearly took her life. Things They went to church and prayed together. Being raised in the church, johnnetta thought he was the one because of his faith. Two years into their relationship, they found out they were expecting a child. This is also when she found out he was cheating. Confronting him about his cheating turned into physical abuse. Johnnetta was kicked in the stomach and thrown through a wall while pregnant, but she didn’t leave. Instead, she stayed for four more years es due to the physical abuse. After finding out she was On April 27th, 2006, she gave birth to a healthy, beautiful baby girl and begin to pick up the pieces of her life and start to live again. Allow me to reintroduce myself. I am Johnnetta Bennett, owner of Imaracosmeticz. I'm not perfect, but I’m perfecting my imperfections and hoping to help others along the way.