Scars of Survival Magazine October Issue

Scars of Survival Magazine OCTOBER 2020 ISSUE 4

PAIN • HEALING • ENDURANCE

Dear Monica Insight On How To Cope With Trauma

Author

Sathya Callender But God Kept Me

HEALING from the ABUSE

Knowing Your

SELF WORTH Signs Of

STORIES OF

SURVIVORS

ABUSE

www.scarsofsurvivalmagazine.com

CONTENTS

06 10 15 20 23 25 27 30 33 36

BUT GOD KEPT ME DOMESTIC VIOLENCE PERSONALIZED SAFETY PLAN

DEAR MONICA

MY LIFE

THE BEGINNING SIGNS OF ABUSE

AND SO IT BEGINS... THE EARLY STAGE OF ABUSES

WHAT IS SELF WORTH

VERBAL ABUSE

KNOWING YOUR WORTH

HEALING FROM ABUSE

READERS

Letter From The Editor To The 4

PAIN. HEALING. ENDURANCE

W

e go through pain, we heal, and we endure. One of many reasons why I chose to Launch Scars of Survival Magazine. A lot of us have experienced some form of domestic abuse or we’ve known a loved one who’s experienced it. During that time there seemed to have been no way out! Who could I tum too? Who wouldn’t judge me? Who would understand? Will I ever survive? Will I ever overcome? These are the questions many of us had or still have? What will it be like to experience being FREE?!

I’ve been wanting to launch Scars of Survival Magazine since 2016 when I founded Scars of Survival Inc. I wanted to create a magazine where individuals from all genre could learn what domestic violence truly is. Learn the causes, effects, how to survive, heal, and overcome. A magazine that’ll help oneself to regain love, hope, trust, faith, courage, and strength.

The goal of Scars of Survival Magazine is to help individuals to overcome domestic violence from children to adults. That you too are worthy! You too can overcome! You too can heal and walk in your God given purpose! I want you to know you’re not alone!

So please enjoy the journey with me and let me know your thoughts throughout the process. It’s time to take back your life! Feel free to email me about anything at any time!

Email: scarsofsurvivalmagazine@gmail.com Instagram: @scarsofsurvivalmagazine:

Author

ALL RIGHTS EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Sathya Callender

COVER PHOTOGRAPHER Vision7 Entertainment Photography

CREATIVE DIRECTOR Sathya Callender

LAYOUT DESIGNER David Sunday - ig: @moodcraftty

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced expressed in Scars of Survival Magazine, LLC. are the views of the contributors and not necessarily shared by the magazine and its responsibility for manuscripts, photographs, or illustrations.

Published six times a year.

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BUT

GOD M

KEPT ME

y father decided he would move on and start another family, so I didn’t get the experience of my father showing me how a man was to treat his woman. Instead, I witnessed how a man was abusing his woman, that woman was my mother. I witnessed that for about 7 years until my mother had enough and decided to move us back to NY. That was when I encountered my first experience of abuse, 19 years old with a 5-year-old child and 1 on the way. From this man taking my money and leaving me with nothing to support myself and my child, to dragging me across the floor because he could not find a lighter, or he could not get more money for his drugs. The abuse stopped when he went to prison, and I moved south, to start a new life with 2 children and another on the way.

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I am now 22 years old. I moved south, living with Section 8, started my first job ever which was referred to me from my Social Service worker. I also obtained my license at 21 and was blessed with my first vehicle from Social Service. I then was on my way to becoming ‘Ms. Independent,’ did not have to depend on anyone to take care of myself nor my children anymore. Although I did not have a vehicle, I managed to go to work when scheduled. It was a struggle because the cab was never on time. This led my children and I to be interviewed by the local newspaper, I did not mind because to me it was inspiration for others who felt like giving up or didn’t know how they were going to make it.

Through it all, I knew God will never forsake me and He was always by my side. However, I used to ask God why, why me.

As I got older, became wiser, looked to God for answers, He then told me why me! I was a single mother for a long time which caused me to become vulnerable, and I then decided to allow that same man back in my life whom I had one child from. I listened to him say he changed and I believed him. I shortly after became pregnant with my youngest child,

this was my 5th baby. Time was going by and no signs of the abuse, so I thought he really did change, I was sadly mistaken. Around my 6th month of pregnancy, the abuse started happening again, this time it was worse than the first. I kept saying I was going to leave; I was going to call the law and never did. He promised he would never do it again, he promised he would change but the beatings kept coming. The punches on the head, the dragging on the floor, the being thrown into the wall, the busted lips, the black/purple/pink eyes, the knots, the broken finger, the near-death experience kept going.

Every time I believed him, it got worse! I tried hiding it from my family, but they found out.

My mother would try to call the law, but I would stop her. I thought this man loved me, I thought he was the only one that loved me. I mean, after all he slandered my family’s name to me, told me they did not care, they did not love me. This man had started a family feud.

Talking about esteem, I had none; my hair was a mess, the way I dress was a mess, but he was always dressed. I better not dare defend myself, my children, and my family. I better not dare stay at the store

longer then he thought I should; I better not dare tell him I did not have any money for his drugs that was a beating.

My mother cried many days, my father was not around, and I kept saying I would leave but I stayed.

Then one day, I had enough; enough was enough. I stood up for myself, I said I will no longer live in this bondage with this demon. My children and I are going to be set free, free from the abuse, set free from this man taking my womanhood and then telling me I could not tell him no, my God! I packed my stuff, I told him I have had enough. I turned to a friend who then got my children and I a place to live, helped me pack up all our things and move; I never looked back.

So, I understand why victims did not tell, I understand why they wouldn’t leave but I’m here to say it’s not OK. I won’t judge, but abuse, domestic or sexual, is NOT OK!! I decided October 2016 I wanted to make a difference in the lives of those affected by abuse and even our sisters that have survived abuse like you and me.

I feel together we can all make a difference to those that have no hope, that feel no one

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I prayed and prayed but I finally found comfort in God’s word and knew this too was part of the process so that I can help others heal and be set free. My story was not for me, it was not about me and it is still not about me. It’s about the lives that will heal, the lives that will be changed from the many stories, including mine that will be shared. To God I will always give the glory; He knows the best for us. We think we know best, but God truly knows the best. He is already where we are going.

God has already paved the way, that vision He gave you, he has already made the provision. Try not to ponder on why me?! God, why me?! Why not you? Continue to pray, ask for guidance, understanding. I can tell you, it is not about you; it is about the many lives that will be set free. God chose you and that is amazing! Look in the mirror and say, “God chose me!” You are more than enough!

understands, that being told they’re not loved, and that they’re not enough. It has been 6 years as of today and up until about 2 months ago, I was still having nightmares 8

PAIN. HEALING. ENDURANCE

not just of the guy who abused me, but also seeing my mother still being abused. Talking about waking up in tears, that feeling, not understanding why would I still be having nightmares?

You are not just a survivor but an overcomer of whatever trial and tribulation you have encountered. See, to survive means that you have coped well with difficulties, but to overcome means you have gained the victory. When you say, “I survived,” be careful as to which you are using and

know the difference. When you overcome domestic violence or sexual abuse, that means you have forgiven the abuser, you have come to understanding as to why you have experienced this act of violence and now able to go share your story in helping others to not only survive but become overcomers as well. I used to say I was a survivor until I did a research of the meaning of both words and had a better understanding as to what the word of God states pertaining to this. So let us get educated. Are you an overcomer or survivor? I experienced what some would call ‘life at a young age’ and did not understand why. I figured because I was only 16, I should not have gone through trials but God had a plan. Even at the young age of 16, God had a plan, a master plan for my life.

I did not understand or know why but God had a plan. It is true, everything does happen for a reason. It took years for me to finally realize and understand that God had a plan for my life even when I did not realize it, when I was experiencing what I thought was life, thought it was the worst thing ever and even asked God ‘why me?’ continuously. It was not until I had a near-death experience with my abuser at the time that I really began my

relationship with God and really began to understand why. I had totally lost myself, no self-esteem, did not have a clue of what God desired or had destined for me to be or do. But God saw the best in me when even I did not see the good in me. God loved me when even I did not love myself. When I thought no one else loved me, He loved me.

We should come to the realization that all things happen for a reason and in God’s timing, not ours. If He knows what is best for us, then of course, things will happen in His time, not ours. We might think it is time to make a big purchase but if God does not see it fit, then it will not happen because it is in His timing, not ours. We seem to forget this a lot because we are humans and we would like things when we think it is best for us. But remember, in God’s time, not ours. I began thinking about when I was dealing with this, how certain services were not available to me, and how I wanted to help others be free, to survive and overcome. I will continue to fight until we all have not only survived but overcame. Domestic violence does not just affect us but our children as well. Some of the abusers are those same individuals that were once children and did not have a positive

father figure in their lives, or maybe they saw their parents being abused, or even have been abused themselves. So when we continuously go through this and allow our children to see this violent acts as well, it affects them in several ways. My children experienced not only seeing me go through domestic violence but a few of my children have gone through violence themselves.

Some things are generational curse because I saw my mother go through abuse and then my mother saw her mother go through abuse and then my great grandmother went through abuse too. It not only affected them but the children as well and this has been an ongoing issue in not just my immediate family but generations before me. We must learn how to pray, pray, pray if that is not something we are already doing. Nobody but God will bring us through our trials and tribulations. The moral of the story is, despite what we face, know that everything happens for a reason and in God’s timing, not ours.

Know that your story is not for you, but to share it so you can help someone else become free and not only survive but overcome. Always pray and put God first in all that you do.

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DOMESTIC VIOLENCE PERSONALIZED SAFETY PLAN Name: _____________________________________________ Date: ______________________________ e following steps represent my plan for increasing my safety and preparing in advance for the possibility for further violence. Although I do not have control over my partner’s violence, I do have a choice about how to respond to him/her and how to best get myself and my children to safety.

H. When I expect we’re going to have an argument, I’ll try to move to a place that is low risk, such as _____________________.

(Try to avoid arguments in the bathroom, garage, kitchen, near weapons, or in rooms without access to an outside door.)

STEP 1: Safety during a violent incident. Women cannot always avoid violent incidents. In order to increase safety, battered women may use a variety of strategies. I can use some of the following strategies.

I. I will use my judgment and intuition. If the situation is very serious, I can give my partner what he/she wants to calm him/ her down. I have to protect myself until I/ we___________________.

A. If I decide to leave, I will __________________ _______________________________.

(Practice how to get out safely. What doors, windows, elevators, stairwells, or re escapes would you use?)

B. I can keep my purse and car keys ready and put them (location) ___________________ in order to leave quickly.

C. I can tell_________________________ about the violence and request that she or he call the police if she or he hears suspicious noises coming from my house.

D. I can teach my children how to use the telephone to contact the police, the re department, and 911.

E. I will use ___________________________ as my code with my children or my friends so they can call for help.

F. If I have to leave my home, I will go to _______ ______________________________.

(Decide this even if you don’t think there will be a next time.)

G. I can also teach some of these strategies to some or all of my children.

STEP 2: Safety when preparing to leave. Battered women frequently leave the residence they share with the battering partner. Leaving must be done with a careful plan in order to increase safety. Batterers o en strike back when they believe that a battered woman is leaving a relationship.

I can use some or all of the following strategies: A. I will leave money and an extra set of keys with _________________________ so I can leave quickly.

B. I will keep copies of important documents or keys at _____________________________.

C. I will open a savings account by __________, to increase my independence.

D. Other things I can do to increase my independence include: ___________________ _____________________________________ ______________________________________ ______.

E. I can keep change for phone calls on me at all times. I understand that if I use my telephone credit card,the following month’s phone bill will show my batterer those numbers I called

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a er I le . To keep my phone communications con ntial, I must either use coins, or I might ask to use a friend’s phone card for a limited time when I rst leave.

partner is not permitted to do so. e people I will inform about pick-up permission include ______________________________ (name of school)

F. I will check with ______________________ and _________________________ to see who would be able to let me stay with them or lend me some money.

______________________________ (name of babysitter) ______________________________ (name of teacher)

G. I can leave extra clothes or money with __________________________.

H. I will sit down and review my safety plan every _______________ in order to plan the safest way to leave the residence. ________________________ (domestic violence advocate or friend’s name) has agreed to help me review this plan.

I. I will rehearse my escape plan and, as appropriate, practice it with my children.

STEP 3: Safety in my own residence. ere are many things that a woman can do to increase her safety in her own residence. It may be impossible to do everything at once, but safety measures can be added step by step.

Safety measures I can use: A. I can change the locks on my doors and windows as soon as possible.

B. I can replace wooden doors with steel/metal doors.

C. I can install security systems including additional locks, window bars, poles to wedge against doors, an electronic system, etc.

D. I can purchase rope ladders to be used for escape from second oor windows.

E. I can install smoke detectors and re extinguishers for each oor of my house/ apartment.

F. I can install an outside lighting system that activates when a person is close to the house.

G. I will teach my children how to make a collect call to me and to _________________ (name of friend, etc.) in the event that my partner takes the children. H. I will tell the people who take care of my children which people have permission to pick up my children and that my

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______________________________ (name of Sunday-school teacher) ______________________________ (name[s] of others) I. I can inform _____________________ (neighbor) and ________________________ (friend) that my partner no longer resides with me and that they should call the police if he is observed near my residence.

STEP 4: Safety with an Order of Protection. Many batterers obey protection orders, but one can never be sure which violent partner will obey and which will violate protective orders. I recognize that I may need to ask the police and the courts to enforce my protective order. e following are some steps I can take to help the enforcement of my protection order: A. I will keep my protection order _________________________ (location).

Always keep it on or near your person. If you change purses, that’s the rst thing that should go in the new purse.

B. I will give my protection order to police departments in the community where I work, in those communities where I visit friends or family, and in the community where I live.

C.

ere should be county and state registries of protection orders that all police departments can call to con rm a protection order. I can check to make sure that my order is on the registry. e telephone numbers for the county and state registries of protection orders are: _______________________ (county) and _____________________ (state).

D. I will inform my employer; my minister, rabbi, etc.; my closest friend; and

__________________ that I have a protection order in e ect.

E. If my partner destroys my protection order, I can get another copy from the clerk’s o e.

F. If the police do not help, I can contact an advocate or an attorney and le a complaint with the chief of the police department or the sheri .

G. If my partner violates the protection order, I can call the police and report the violation, contact _________________.

STEP 5: Safety on the job and in public. Each battered woman must decide if and when she will tell others that her partner has battered her and that she may be at continued risk. Friends, family, and co-workers can help to protect women. Each woman should carefully consider which people to invite to help secure her safety, I might do any or all of the following: A. I can inform my boss, the security supervisor, and ________________at work.

B. I can ask ______________________________ ______ to help me screen my telephone calls at work.

C. When leaving work, I can _________________ _______________________________.

D. If I have a problem while driving home, I can _______________________________.

E. If I use public transit, I can _______________ _____________________________________ ____.

F. I will go to di erent grocery stores and shopping malls to conduct my business and shop at hours that are di erent from those I kept when residing with my battering partner.

G. I can use a di erent bank and go at hours that are di erent from those kept when residing with my battering partner.

STEP 6: Safety and drug or alcohol use. Most people in this culture use alcohol. Many use mood-altering drugs. Much of this is legal, although some is not. e legal outcomes of using illegal drugs can be very hard on battered women, may hurt her relationship with her

children, and can put her at a disadvantage in other legal actions with her battering partner. erefore, women should carefully consider the potential cost of the use of illegal drugs. Beyond this, the use of alcohol or other drugs can reduce a woman’s awareness and ability to act quickly to protect herself from her battering partner. Furthermore, the use of alcohol or other drugs by the batterer may give him an excuse to use violence. Speci safety plans must be made concerning drugs or alcohol use.

If drug or alcohol use has occurred in my relationship with my battering partner, I can enhance my safety by some or all of the following: A. If I am going to use, I can do so in a safe place and with people who understand the risk of violence and are committed to my safety.

B. If my partner is using, I can _______________ ________________________________ and/or ______________________________________ _______.

C. To safeguard my children I might ___________ ________________________________.

STEP 7: Safety and my emotional health. e experience of being battered and verbally degraded by partners is usually exhausting and emotionally draining. e process of building a new life takes much courage and incredible energy.

To conserve my emotional energy and resources and to avoid hard emotional times, I can do some of the following: A. If I feel down and am returning to a potentially abusive situation, I can ___________________ _____________________________________ ______.

B. When I have to communicate with my partner in person or by telephone, I can ____________ ______________________________________ _______.

C. I will try to use “I can ... ” statements with myself and be assertive with others.

D. I can tell myself, “________________________ _____________________________” whenever I feel others are trying to control or abuse me.

E. I can read ___________________________ _______________________ to help me feel

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stronger.

F. I can call ____________________________ and ____________________________ for support.

G. I can attend workshops and support groups at the domestic violence program or __________ ________________________________ to gain support and strengthen relationships.

STEP 8: Items to take when leaving. When women leave partners, it is important to take certain items.

Beyond this, women sometimes give an extra copy of papers and an extra set of clothing to a friend just in case they have to leave quickly.

Money: Even if I never worked, I can take money from jointly held savings and checking accounts. If I do not take this money, he can legally take the money and close the accounts.

Items on the following lists with asterisks(*) by them are the most important to take with you. If there is time, the other items might be taken, or stored outside the home. ese items might best be placed in one location, so that if we have to leave in a hurry, I can grab them quickly. When I leave, I should take: • Identi cation for myself* • My birth certi cate* • School and vaccination records* • Checkbook, ATM card* • Key house, car, o

*

• Medications* • Welfare identi cation, work permits, green cards* • Children’s birth certi cate*

• Lease/rental agreement, house deed, mortgage payment book Bank books, insurance papers • Address book • Pictures, jewelry • Children’s favorite toys and/or blankets • Items of special sentimental value • Telephone numbers I need to know: • Police/sheri ’s department (local) 911 or ______________________________ Police/sheri ’s department (work) ______________________________ Police/sheri ’s department (school) ______________________________ Prosecutor’s o e ______________________________ Battered women’s program (local) National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-SAFE (7233) 800-787-3224 (TTY) www.ndvh.org ______________________________ County registry of protection orders ______________________________ State registry of protection orders ______________________________ Work number ______________________________ Supervisor’s home number I will keep this document in a safe place and out of the reach of my potential attacker.

Review date: _________________________

• Social Security cards* • Money* • Credit cards* • Driver’s license and registration* • Copy of protection order* • Passport(s), divorce papers • Medical records for all family members

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Produced and distributed by: Scars of Survival Magazine LLC

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Dear Monica Understanding your self worth

W

e often take for granted how special and unique we are. Through the experiences and encounters we have had with other people may have at times made us doubt ourselves which causes us to foster negative perceptions about ourselves. When we listen to others about how we must act, dress, eat, walk, talk and even feel causes these negative thoughts that we have about ourselves.

These constant ridicules and

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rude remarks may come from family members, significant others and even the so-called friends that we have and their views can eventually take its toll. Merriam-Webster dictionary defines self-worth as “a sense of one’s own value as a human being”.

Shaped As human beings we are continuously shaped and molded by the images of others and of society. Weibell (2011) reports, “The basic assumption of the self-worth

model is that multiple factors influence one’s sense of self worth”. Our environment plays an instrumental role in shaping/molding us such as our communities, family, friends, religion and even the education system. The community and its leaders can influence how we view ourselves because they can import their beliefs on us. These leaders may suggest that our direction in life should consist of generous amounts of volunteerism in our lives. The same community leaders in-

fluences also suggest that if you are not dedicating time to volunteer, then you can be viewed in a negative light and may describe this as being selfish or self-centered, which again is an unfavorable view of you from others.

When looking at relationships with family, friends and significant others it’s safe to say that they will have person they want you to be.

The variations of the person that your family, friends, and significant others may suggest for you could cause pressure on you because you may feel the need to conform to the image that they have of you in their minds.

This can vary from being polite, passive, non-aggressive, quiet, complacent, compliant, and the list goes on and on. These expectations can be stressful and overwhelming at times especially when you levels.

Religion can also influence the way we conduct ourselves in our lives. We may strive

to be like religious people who are regarded as “living examples”. Educational institutions have also embedded societal exceptions that are taught through schools in subjects such as Social Studies, English and History. With so many external variables attempting to implant their

versions of who you should be, it can definitely be overwhelming.

Identify Your Attributes You should take a look at these questions: who are you?

What are some things that are unique about yourself?

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from others? Look at these questions and answer them instead of focusing on what others think of you or focusing on those who only point out negative features.

Celebrate your attributes!

Applaud yourself for being smart, pretty, tall, short, witty, curious and whatever other attributes that make you uniquely you! I even challenge you to love your shortcomings as some would call them, such as your quirkiness, stuttering, freckles and other features that you have.

All these features that make you distinctive. Can you imagine if we all ate, spoke, walk, sleep and think the exact same way? Embrace your idiosyncrasies! Acknowledge that you indeed are special and therefore you do not have to subscribe to the image of others to be liked or loved. Identify those skills, talents and abilities that you

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possess and conquer your dreams and your life goals with no regrets.

Just Be You Just be yourself no matter what the pressures that present to conform to societal norms, you still can hold your head up high while being true to yourself. If people are a part of your life or would like to be a part of your life, then understand that they will need to accept your qualities. I understand as humans become one within their marriage, there will be times you will adjust and compromise on some things to make your marriage successful.

However, when adjusting or compromising within the marriage it should never be to the point or subjecting yourself to any forms of emotional verbal or physical abuse. The marriage and even other interpersonal relation-

ships such as your family and friends, should never include continuous ridicule, constant negative comments and degrading remarks, those are not conducive to healthy relationships.

Look around you, celebrate with those who celebrate you. Support those who support you. Surround yourself with positive energy and positive mindsets. Love yourself, encourage yourself, and most importantly - never lose yourself.

Reference: Weibell, C. J. (2011). Principles of learning: 7 principles to guide personalized, student-centered learning in the technology-enhanced, blended learning environment. Retrieved September 16, 2020 from [https://principlesoflearning.wordpress. com].

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On the surface, Amanda Dieumercie is your average pre-teen but she is so much more. Amanda is a leading student in her classes at changing lives academy Where she participates in many on campus activities such as volleyball At home she helps around that house as she works on her business. Amanda always ensured her peers with a positive attitude and a willingly attitude to help.

memories for her friends that she built a job for herself. Her friends have loved her “Dream Bags” filled with fun goodies for girls of all ages. Her bags include a choice of lip glosses such as: Pineapple, Cotton Candy, and Coconut to name a few.

These beautiful bags also include Colorful hair ties and Slim amongst other goodies

Amanda has mastered producing high volumes of products that can fit any need. Her specialty made long-lasting formula has provided a high-level of clients. She caters to major personal, professional, and groups therefore these bags can be personalized for parties and events. Amanda’s friends now considers her the “Lip Gloss Princess” You can contact Amanda-Dreams at da_dreams07 Instagram:Amanda_dreams07 Facebook : AmandadreamsTV Youtube:AmandadreamsTV

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by Anndena

orn December 25, I was the last of four children. I was a chubby, high colored little girl. Some said I was very antisocial; my face was always looking mean. I was molested by my stepdad at the age of nine. Reading and school was my way of hiding my pain and I did very well at it.

B

My mom always says not everything that glitters is gold. My high school boyfriend came back in my life. What more? I wasn’t expecting anything from him because I could take

care of myself. He was very charming. Although I let him know that I wasn’t looking for a relationship, he said he wanted to marry me and settle down. I fell for it. All I wanted was someone to love me and make me feel special, and I thought I found it.

What I liked about him was that I could talk to him about things. But that was a wrong move because he used it back against me.

Over time, I realized he has demanding taste, and all the baggage he came with. I found out later that he had a new born child back where

he was. I was mad when I found out. “Why didn’t you tell me?” I yelled in frustration. Oh, well, I accepted it because I found out I was already pregnant too. I told him. “What? Are you crazy?

No, I don’t want another child, no, no.”

I watched him drink 3 bottles of vodka without food or anything, and I thought maybe because it’s a celebration of mom out of the nursing home so everyone is drinking, why not. No, it’s a lifestyle. He would drink and get high from 6pm till 4am in the morning, mean drunk.

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Consequently, his anger grew and grew till on June 16, he hit me with his necklace and beat me so badly. I was pregnant at the time. I was so shocked I couldn’t believe it. I called his cousin and told her and she said she was going to talk to him.

However, the abuse got worse. He would just punch me in the face, punch me by the side of my head. He burned me with cigarettes,

get counseling for us, but he turned it down. One day he used the pot to beat me, he was aiming for my head, but I blocked it with my hands.

So I got 7 hits on each hand.

He used his knife to poke my side, the mop stick to hit me across my back, the pressing iron to beat me on my knuckles, punch the side of my head, in my jaw, and on my ears.

Throughout my life journey and pain, I have been Bent a while I was pregnant. He used lot of times, but I have nevto tell me how fat I was, how er been Broken. Never try stupid I was, how dumb I was. to think that they are going He said I was the stupidest to change; an abuser never person he has ever been with, changes. Do not sell yourself and he doesn’t love me, he short feeling that you are not doesn’t want me. worthy; you are worthy, you re beautiful. Take your power How do you look at yourback; take your voice, speak self in the mirror knowing up, do not keep it a secret. that you are the reason I am Stop feeling embarrassed, you’re not alone.

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Healing comes when you face the truth about what is happing in your life. I had to come face to face with the underlying problems that stem from my childhood. I had to learn to forgive the people that did me wrong.

First, I had to learn to forgive myself for allowing the things I did allow, which caused me to lose the person I was. I am turning my pain into power. I am standing up for myself. I will no longer let anyone talk down to me. For a while, I hated looking in the mirror; I hated my body because of being called fat. But now, I am comfortable in my body.

I love looking in the mirror.

I no longer hear the voices echo in my head. When I look in the mirror, all I see is greatness, success, life, worthiness, happiness.

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THE

EG I NN I NG

SI GNS

OF

BUSE

by Shameka Chapple The first signs and experiences of abuse for many of us start in the womb: when a parent is on drugs while pregnant, when a mother is being abused by a partner or huband or even family member, when a parent makes a statement that you were not wanted. In relationships, the first sign of abuse is that first fist you feel, that first kick you received, the words bitch, slut, whore, you’re nothing , you are worthless, you can’t do anything right, I don’t know why I am with you, I don’t know why I married you.

me. These are the signs you should look out for because nine times out of ten, these are excuses to keep you, to control you in order to continue to abuse you over and over again, and then the blame game technique, “You made me do it, if you had done what I told you to do.”

The abuser even uses the child hood and upbringing as a reason as to why they treat you a certain way.

call the abuse hot line, tell someone. Isolation is a sign of abuse, excessive drinking day after day, night after night is a sign of abuse. That first inappropriate touch is a sign of abuse. That first inappropriate kiss is one of the first signs of sexual abuse. The first time being fondled is one of the first signs of sexual abuse. Yes, I am touching on all subjects because there is more than one type of abuse and signs every man, woman, Another sign of abuse is and child should be aware of. financial, when they start to Once again, there are hotsteal your money or keep lines out here you can call. your debit or credit cards and There are groups that you These are all the first signs of issue out your own money can attend to help overcome abuse followed by the pacias they see fit. These are the the cycle of abuse. Don’t fying words afterwards: I love signs you want to look out continue to allow yourself you, I will never do that again, for. There is no excuse to to be a victim of abuse; get I don’t know what came over mistreat any one. Get away, away, get help!!!

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And So It Begins...

THE EARLY STAGES OF ABUSE

by Laura Moseley

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hether you are a victim of abuse or a survivor, inevitably, you will be asked, “Why did you stay?” or “How did this start?” In being totally honest with the person asking the question, you would have to say, “It started like a fairy tale,” which is the most shocking fact to both the person asking the question and the person who experienced the abuse.

themselves. So, that will always seem completely normal. However, the abuser, who is typically all about power and control, will be starting out being so supportive of his/her significant other, and also showering tion and thoughtfulness is how they appear so adoring (as illustrated in the abuser’s Wheel of Control image).

It is brought on so swiftly and rained down on their victim such that the victim

All intimate relationships start out with both parties showing the best parts of

their feet, not realizing that they are being groomed for exploitation. The victim,

PAIN. HEALING. ENDURANCE

not yet knowing he/she is a victim, forms a deep attachment to such a kind, thoughtful individual, who is making them feel loved and cared for, but more importantly, feel a false sense of protection.

The abuser’s grooming falls within the Adoration phase of the abuser’s cycle, but falls within the Fantasy Setup part of the Victim’s Cycle of Abuse diagram.

Sometimes, this is called “Love Bombing,” because of all of the positive and loving things happening. To the victim, this can include, but

is not limited to: gift giving, constant compliments, swift and constant physical intimacy, talking about their “future together,” frequent/ daily calls and texts, etc. All of these seem normal and desired by the victim. However, there is so much “showering of love” that the victim does not notice a few things that are truly not normal in a loving relationship: A) how quickly this is occurring, and B) the victim’s life is being infiltrated and no mention of the abuser’s life. The focus is solely on the grooming, or really blinding the victim to the abuser’s personal past and lack of true empathy, much like the enigma of a magician.

that the grooming starts to become harder and more aggressive for the abuser. The victim wanting to know more about the abuser because they are now committed to the relationship, starts to It’s not until the “honeybuild tension. The abuser moon” phase of the abuser starts throwing “trust issues” and victim’s relationship starts around: “Don’t you trust me? to fade that the proverbial I trust you completely. I can’t cracks in the abuser’s story believe you don’t trust me. start to show. When the vicYou must not care about me.” tim starts to question things This should start the red flags, like, “Why don’t we ever do but instead it draws the victhings with your friends/fam- tim closer to the abuser; the ily?” or “Why do we have to desire for the initial “honeykeep our relationship secret?” moon” phase is still burning.

They still hope to enjoy that adoration they felt in the beginning. In fact, they will do anything for the abuser’s approval. Abusers normally withhold the approval to further strengthen the bond between them and the victim. This bond has a more sinister name than “love” or “relationship” -- it starts the trauma bond. That, sadly, is strengthened further once more intense and varied abuse starts. This cycle can cause the victim to become almost addicted, much like to those illegal drugs.

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What is self-worth

by Nichole Poole

he definition is clear, self-esteem, “the sense of one’s own value or worth as a person.” It is how we view and feel about ourselves as individuals. Unfortunately for some, it’s a hard topic to hit.

Like myself, I struggled with my self-image and how I felt about myself for many years, fighting depression, anxiety, and surviving alone. I never felt good about myself.

In most cases, self-esteem is mas or abusive relationships later in life. There are many ceive ourselves mentally, and even how we see ourselves in the mirror. There are many contributive parameters involved in someone’s self-definition, like appearance, success, who you know and even in the cases of how much one makes financially.

It is noteworthy that nobody

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has all the positive qualities in high quantity. Nobody is perfect. Hence, building a high self-esteem or appreciating our self-worth comes with ambition and struggle to move out of situations that bring us down. It’s honestly not an easy task, but many have successfully redeemed their self-esteem. For instance, coming out of a mentally abusive relationship (like me) can make us feel less than what we really are, or just even hitting a block in the road. On a daily life basis, we all have our milestones and life struggles (God only knows I’ve had so many), and knowing our own self-worth can play a big part in how we continue to live a better life day by day.

I had found that my relationship was becoming more controlling and I was being called names, being put down, at

one point hit in my belly while pregnant, being told I didn’t deserve the life I was carrying inside of me etc. Over the years, I began to believe everything that was being told me: I was nothing but fat, and no one else would ever want me. From being a horrible mother, I will never become anything. I found myself going a downward spiral with my depression eventually leading to attempted suicide.

After being in a mentally and physically abusive relationship for 15 years, I couldn’t live life anymore, or so I felt. A particular event when one of my children had been harmed changed my life, I said enough was enough. I stood up for myself and my children, and fought back. Being told for so many years that I wasn’t worth anything and I couldn’t do things, I decided to take a look in the mirror and say yes, I am and yes, I can. AND

I DID!!! I started to focus on just me and my children for the better. My life began to turn around. After a life of struggles with mental health, abusive relationships and drug abuse, I eventually hit a rock bottom that was my wake-up call. It had to be about me.

I made a drastic decision to make a choice so I could make a change.

myself to be encouraged to start modeling which, in a way, helped me to find expression and awareness of my beauty and value. I became more confident, driven and ambitious. I had found something along with myself that I loved to do. Bringing awareness, support and self-conIn 2017, I met a man that fidence in such a way has changed my life. He loved me helped more individuals more and my children, and treated than I had ever thought. I can us very well. A single dad him- now tell my story; even just I eventually found myself to self, he knew what he wanted a portion of it can enlighten be a single mother working out of life like myself. I had a full-time job, with my own someone that does not know realized at that point I had home and car, living the way how to approach his/her found my self-worth. I knew I wanted to be, comfortable freedom, self-actualization, and wanting to stay that way. what I really wanted out of and authenticity. I, myself, life and I fought for it. I never have started to work close in So I knew that we had the gave up. best that I could provide. I my community with suicide started to feel better about awareness, addiction awareThe chance for modeling myself and knowing that ness and recovery services, came to light and I saw an op- and domestic abuse. Helping every degrading thing that portunity to be an inspiration others has also helped me in was ever told me was never true, I was worth something. I to the ones around me along so many ways and I encourage was worth MYSELF. I started with myself, to help get my anyone and everyone that story out and to maybe help to love who I was becoming they can reach out for help; someone else that couldn’t and knowing that I could put no matter the situation, do see something in themselves. it! There are support groups my mind to anything.

There are many ways through Hence, showing not just that and resources that can help I could do and be something, which one can help one’s in so many ways. And always but anyone can do anything confidence and acknowledge remember that who you are is once they put their minds to one’s self-worth. What I did the most beautiful thing there it. to help with the struggle of is! You’re the one that is With the right support and trying to find myself again is important, and you are beauthat I started with Short-term encouragement, you can tiful! and long-term goals, which is do and be anything. I found the number one recommended way to help with that. Who doesn’t like to make a to-do list and be able to mark something out and feel accomplished? I am always making new lists of things that I know I can progress in, even if it

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pregnant for a fourth time, Johnnetta had enough and was determined to keep this life growing inside her. She started going back to church and gave her life back to Christ.

You see, you wouldn’t ask why the Rose that grew from concrete had damaged petals. On the contrary, we would celebrate its tenacity.”—Tupac

started to look promising for johnnetta in 2002, which is when she started dating a young man who promised her the world and even backed up some of his promises.

Born March 14th, 1979 in Washington, DC, Johnnetta Bennett was your typical little girl until the age of 6 years old. You see, at six years old is when the sexual abuse started with a 14 year old son of our mother's best friend.

The abuse continued for several years and it was never spoken of. Johnnetta’s teenage years were full of promiscuity, rebellion, and a filling of emptiness she could never fill. This emptiness continued into her adulthood, which led to numerous of failed relationships and bad decisions that nearly took her life. Things

They went to church and prayed together. Being raised in the church, johnnetta thought he was the one because of his faith. Two years into their relationship, they found out they were expecting a child. This is also when she found out he was cheating.

Confronting him about his cheating turned into physical abuse. Johnnetta was kicked in the stomach and thrown through a wall while pregnant, but she didn’t leave. Instead, she stayed for four more years es due to the physical abuse.

After finding out she was

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On April 27th, 2006, she gave birth to a healthy, beautiful baby girl and begin to pick up the pieces of her life and start to live again. Allow me to reintroduce myself. I am Johnnetta Bennett, owner of Imaracosmeticz.

I'm not perfect, but I’m perfecting my imperfections and hoping to help others along the way.

Verbal Abuse

by Victoria Adams n my case, it started as verbal abuse. I went from being the prettiest girl to a no-good. He began to change when we decided to be a thang. He then felt what he says goes. He didn’t want anyone in the house.

I thought he loved me that much that he was protective.

About 6 months later, I found out he was doing crack.

I

I started to see more aggression, on the edge or it stood out more that I knew he was on drugs. I didn’t want it to define him. One evening, I took a shower. He came home and said, “You took a shower? You’ve been messing with someone? Is someone in here?” He was used to showering with me; the thought

of me taking one by myself hit a nerve. He asked me to sit down as he pulled out a pocket knife, put it on my foot and said, “I will put this knife straight through your foot. I’m asking you one more time, ‘WHO HAS BEEN IN HERE!!!.’”

At a time, I stepped back somewhat, stopped talking and being home when he would try to come over. We made up and he committed to just me. It became expen-

happy without upsetting him.

He started taking my money, going through my purse even when I said no. One night, he Things were still the same; I was out getting high; I and just now knew he had a temmy son were sleeping. He per and paranoid. We were came in, woke me up. “What’s staying with each other; he wrong?” I said. “I need you to had clothes over and things, do something for me,” He rebut sometimes he would be gone for days. I soon realized plied. He asked me to give his dealer head like I give him. I he had a woman before me.

He stayed with her and drove was hurt, shocked. He had to her car. That’s why he goes for be crazy; he then pulled the gun out, “YOU ARE GOING days. I would still see him in TO DO THIS OR I WILL the neighborhood or at card games and he will speak to me SHOOT YOU.” My mind was everywhere, I was scared. So, as if everything was okay.

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YOU ARE LYING.” He pulled his fist back and punched me in my eye so hard I was so embarrassed I didn’t want to be I bled. He told me that this invisible perthere when he came back. I couldn’t face son he created didn’t care for me because him or the guy. I went to my grandmoth- he didn’t even come out to defend me. er’s. I did tell my cousin; she was the only I stayed in the house for some days; I one to know the whole story, but it got out couldn’t let anyone see me that bruised. I but not in a positive way. I was tricked for was wondering, he took care of me those crack. I stopped talking to him for about days, but I questioned his love in my head. a month. Apologies after apologies came.

He explained to me he needed help, want- That wasn’t the last before I decided that ed me to be there to support him, for the it was time to leave him and Alabama. I drugs. I believed him; he stopped for about did finally have enough, and I moved to two weeks. It was a happy two weeks, Atlanta. The day he found out my plan nothing but cuddles, movies and long con- was the very day I was leaving. I survived versations. him, but I was almost blinded if not for the two surgeries I had in my right eye. I also I thought he was changing, until one night. was blessed with his daughter who is nothIt was like 8pm, I was cooking, he came ing like him; she’s seven now. I’m blessed in high and paranoid. He THOUGHT he to survive and tell my story in Scars of heard something, that I was hiding some- Survival Magazine. If you are undergoone in the house. I tried to make him feel ing abuse and you are reading my story, secure, that I loved him and he didn’t change the situation, reach out and ask for have to worry about no one else. He could help. swear I was lying. He screamed, “HOE, I did it.

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Knowing your

WORTH

by Betsy Bennett

have learned that the true power of a Queen is knowing her self-worth.

Self- worth is the sense of one’s own value or worth as a person. Knowing or discovering who you are is the most essential element to living a full life. This concept of self-awareness has been highlighted from the ancient times when the great thinker, Plato, declared, “Man, know thyself.” In our own times, Oscar Wilde captured it correctly in his quote, “To live is the rarest thing in the world.

Most people exist, and that’s all.” Now tell me, where is the

I

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lie?

Individuals do not live up to their true potentials simply because they fail to figure out their self-worth. How you value yourself determines your projection and trajectory in life. That includes your growth, your persistence, your relentless pursuit to succeed, your determination and drive, your relationships, and even your radiance and glow. Having a sense of selfworth means that you value yourself enough to know you deserve it all, you are worthy of it all, and you can get it all.

It is a deep knowing that I am

of value, that I am loveable, necessary to this life and of incomprehensible worth.

Living the horror of domestic violence, I oftentimes wonder why me? I should never have bothered myself with such a thing but rather think of the queen I am, how much I am worth, and that no matter the circumstances, I am worthy of love and respect. Had I known my self-worth, I would have challenged the warrior in me and fought for what was and shame for many years as a battered wife. I lost my dignity and pride all because I

knew not what I was worth.

Discovering my self-worth led to the enhancement of my self-esteem, self-confidence, self-appreciation, self-acceptance, self-respect, selflove, self-care just to name a few of the many positive “self” words there are.

that you are still a complete and awesome human being deserving of love, respect, happiness, and fulfillment, no matter what.

dark, but became conscious of the fact that I am the light in that darkness, and allowed my presence to not only illuminate but permeate the atmosphere.

Ask yourself: I implore you queens to ele. What if I lost it all? vate your self-worth level. In . What if all I had was my- doing so, you must: become self? clear on your values, be asserWhen we value ourselves . How would that make tive, have a heart of gratitude, enough, we elevate our sense me feel? eliminate doubt and negative of well-being and foster a self-talk, pronounce positive healthy growth and develop- You should possess that comment. You must first love and pelling notion of your unfath- importantly, break up with fear, and engage faith. respect yourself before anyomable worth and find the Proverbs 31:25 says, “She is one else can. You yourself as courage to move on. clothed in strength and dignimuch as anybody in the entire I was enslaved to my ty and she laughs without fear universe deserve your love thoughts, feelings, failures, of the future.” shortcomings, but when I Ralph Waldo Emerson says, stumbled on my self-worth, How then do we measure our I realized that speaking my “Once you make a decision self-worth? It’s not measthe universe conspires to truth would set me free, ured by our job, social status, knowing that once I have make it happen.” to-do lists, wealth, education, accepted my flaws, no one competition, perfection, title could use them against me.

Queens! Make the decision or any other thing we run the Locating my self-worth alto locate your self-worth and risk of losing. It is relatively let it position you into relentlowed me to step out boldly measured by knowing wheth- and walk in the intended lessly pursuing what sets your er you are great or terrible, or purpose God designed for me. soul on fire! even somewhere in between I was no longer terrified of the

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Healing from Abuse

By Ms Simone

espite all that I have been through, I can honestly say I am extremely proud of myself. I never really analyzed the abilities I possessed. Growing up in a toxic environment as a child forced me to grow up faster than I expected. My mom was dedicated in her career, at least, so I thought, but she in fact, was using her career as a trauma blockage. I saw her grind her entire life to provide my wants and needs and a lifestyle I always admired.

Being subjected to abuse, I use work as a means to have my problems out of sight and out of mind. I always involved myself in-between family fights to keep the love and peace.

While my mom was at work, my father slept the entire day.

I consumed myself with the show “Barney.” Love was all I ever desired as long as I could remember.

D

just an appetizer for these predators. I became their breakfast, lunch, and dinner. My parents had no idea I was in the streets heavily since the age of 12. I was always book savvy, but then I fell in love with the streets.

I began to look for love in all of the wrong places, until one day at age 28; it hit me like a MAC TRUCK. I was operating out of FEAR, not LOVE which I then found out my adult relationships were mirrored by my childhood.

I was not taught how to set healthy boundaries at an early age. I was codependent. I was living in a constant state of fear until I reached out for help and began to focus on my internal issues so it can project outwards.

Rather than searching for love in Subconsciously, I began to atmen, drugs, sex, enduring abusive tract dope boys. I had it all, the money, the clothes, diamonds, relationships that should’ve been and drugs. Young dudes or old, I discarded long before they startdidn’t have a preference; I settled ed, I found out the hard way in for anything. Without the proper life that the love I deeply yearned knowledge, I had no idea I was for is, in fact, an inside job.

Things got quite boring in my life once my siblings moved out of the home and older cousins started to disappear. I was bored out of my mind but I consumed myself with reading and writing.

I always shrunk myself to be able to fit in with the crowds in school. That’s when I consumed myself in “urban books.” I loved the idea of the neighborhood dope boy saving a girl from out of the hood and providing her with financial stability. Money, cars, clothes, diamonds, drugs, all that fascinated me and I was determined to live my happy-ever-after and live out one of my childhood stories “Cinderella.”

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888-245-0804 SCARS OF SURVIVAL MAGAZINE

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ELDER SHAMEKA CHAPPLE lder Shameka S. Chapple is the daughter of George Chapple and Barbra Hughley of Atlanta Georgia. As a child Shameka attended “Mount Sinai Baptist Church” under the leadership of her cousin the late Pastor Rev. Homer Smith where she began to learn about Christ. At the young age of 13 she was shifted into a new season in her life.

Now under the leadership of the Late Pastor Rev. Edward Harris of “Move Of God Church” in Atlanta Georgia she accepted the Lord Jesus Christ and began to walk the walk of faith.

displayed through her dedication as usher, armor barrier, praise team member, public relations committee member and Elder and former Pastor of Southern Outreach Ministries Atlanta.

in Custodial Maintenance, diploma in Medical Insurance Billing and Coding from Everest Institute, Basic Computer keyboard from Atlanta Technical school New Connections to work program, Associates in Computer In 2006 Prophet Dana R. John- Network System ITT Technical son seeing the call upon Shame- College and is now enrolled at ka’s life licensed her “Minister” of StrayerUniversity where she will the gospel. Through everything receive her bachelor’s in Business she has gone through the will of Administration.

God, her love for God and the Elder Chapple favorite scripture Kingdom and sheer determinais Joshua 24:15 “ And if it seem tion she has grown in leaps and bound. In 2012 she was licensed evil unto you to serve the LORD, choose you this day whom ye will as Evangelist and Ordained in 2013 as Elder under the leader- serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were ship of Bishop Michael D. Wilon the other side of the flood, As things in her life changed so son. Also she served as Elder of or the gods of the Amorites, in did she. She strayed from the Southern Outreach Ministry in path God had set for her and was Bay Saint Louis Mississippi under whose land ye dwell: but as for incarcerated. During her incarher spiritual parents Bishop Earl me and my house, we will serve the LORD. ceration she rededicated her life and Apostle Pamela Terry completely to Christ and was Elder Shameka Chapple is the filled with the Holy Spirit. owner of No-Miss Cleaning Shameka is currently a faithful Service LLC. Also she former member of “The Worship And member of New Order NationDeliverance Center” in Atlanta al Human Rights Organization Georgia under the Leadership founded by Gerald Rose. Served of Apostle Anika Sparks. The as Vice President of UAWA Teen passion she has for service is Outreach Organization.Certified

E

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Nichole Poole

Hello, my name is Nichole Poole also known as Nakita Kay. Most people know someone who has struggled with addiction, but unfortunately, not many people live to tell a success story, It has become a national epidemic that takes more lives than car accidents. I am a devoted wife and mother of 5. I was raised in the countryside of Indiana. As I grew up I was greatly influenced by my maternal grandparents (retired military) working in the fields and gardens learning what hard work was all about.

I was also taught that being proper and elegant as a lady is a must in social situations.

As a big girl, I have always had self-esteem issues, being in a very controlling and mentally abusive relationship for 15 years I also an addict but am now in recovery from addiction, I have learned to grow, and with it learned how

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to love myself inside and out! I can easily go from working on brakes on a car to formal in the evening...

Thought out my years of struggling with abuse and addiction I ended up in change my life in a way that I would never forget. That was my wake-up call. While I didn’t have the time long enough in incarceration to do drug programs myself, I included myself with others who were and in the programs themselves, I began to learn more about what I was going through.

I started working the 12 steps program and after being released I started selfhelp groups. I began to also reach out to others in need and bringing awareness to more than just addiction with a lot of aspects to lead or go along with addition, domestic violence, homelessness, and even sexual abuse from earlier ages to even as adults. After my mother was released she began to go to college for addiction counseling and we had started to work together in the

recovery community. We had become a team.

My first photo shoot was for my husband, honoring his military service, as a gift to him to show him the respect and love I had for him as my soldier. After it was released to family and friends, they encouraged me to take my photos a little bit further and inspired me to start modeling!

I had never thought I would get the feed back (especial positive) that I had received. That’s when I had found that I had another calling, not just putting my face on the cover of a magazine but using my modeling as a way to being inspiration and movement and of people! I Continue to do all I can personally and Occupationally to grow as a person and to keep doing things that will help other and that will also continue to help me to as I move forward in my journey.

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Victoria Adams My name is Victoria, raised in Colorado Springs, Colorado born in Anchorage Alaska I currently reside Tennessee I been here for 3 years. I Moved from Atlanta Georgia, I have 3 beautiful kids 2 boys and 1 girl. All Georgia babies. My kids are my whole life and motivation, I currently work in a hospital as housekeeper and in-home caregiver on my spare time. My hobbies are Writing, cooking and spending time with my kids. I also like to spend my time at the lake for a peace of mind.

Simone Thompson Simone Thompson born and raised in Bronx, NYC.She is an entrepreneur with an online boutique “ Wiiinked by Monaa lei “ , full-time college student at Post University obtaining her Bachelors of Arts in Psychology. She is a survivor of 2 domestic violence incidents and her passion is to spread global awareness with After the Narc.

My Instagram is @monaalei_ Fb - Simone de Beauvoir

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AnnDena McCleary

My name is AnnDena McCleary, I am a native of Jamaica, hailing from a little community call August Town, now living in the United States.

I am the last of 4 children.

Growing up I was active in church and school not really a friendly child, I migrated to the united states at a tender age, upon arriving here in America I attend Broward commu-

nity College where I earn my medical Assistant Certificate, then my Bachelor’s Degree in Criminal Justice. I moved to St. Petersburg Fl and enrolled in Law school after law school I enrolled and did my bachelors in local and state politics, my passion is politics. Throughout my academic years I have earned some titles, school was my way of dealing and copping with the pain of life and my depression that I was going through. See life have a way of beating you down and I needed an escape, during law school I gave birth to my best friend, we relocated to the big apple where life was worst than Fl but I was able to reconnect with God, I have learnt that God will bring you to a place where we have to return to him. I am happy that I did, no everything wasn’t great, but it was much better. I am the founder of Bent Not Broken, Inc. this a Domestic Violence not for profit Platform that was created to bring awareness and help others who have experience some form of abuse.

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Laura Moseley Laura Moseley is a 23+ year domestic abuse and sexual abuse survivor. Single mother of 3 children (and various ‘fur’ children), she also proudly works as a customer service representative for the federal government. In her spare time, she has a DV survivor FB Page, “The Walking Wounded,” that she posts on,

also enjoys: reading, writing, music, going to concerts with her sweetheart, walking, photography, calligraphy, and public speaking.

Betsy Evans Bennett

known as “Bernalee Spice” is an enthusiastic, energetic, purposed driven certified Life Coach, Mentor, Motivational speaker, and an Extraordinary single mom of one beautiful girl. Her mission as a survivor of domestic violence is to aid traumatized

As a purpose pusher, her aim is to help these individuals restore and or regain their will power and confidence while developing healthy perceptions in dealing with life after trauma, staying in faith and believing in the promises of Jeremiah 29:11.

She believes an empowered woman never ignores her own truth and therefore inspires women and girls to evolve and break up with negative energy while relentlessly pursuing their growth, happiness and goals.

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