September 2023 Raising Confident Mothers

raising SEPTEMBER 2023

CONFIDENT MOTHERS

EDUCATION

THE INSURANCE PLAN FOR MOTHERS

MELANIE BETH

Creator of Killer Zebras

MARTHA ZIRKER

Educating Generations

ALI ESSIG

Creator of PlantWhys

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When you educate a woman, you educate generations.

-African Proverb

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Life will not go as planned.

You will experience heartache, frustration, uncertainty and fear. We need you to be educated, to have goals, dreams and aspirations. You will strengthen your family and community as you strive to develop your unique light.

Editor's Note I have yet to meet someone who’s life has gone perfectly as planned. Who sets goals and achieves every single one of them with ease and grace. I’m guessing you haven’t either. Because life is messy and sometimes unpredictable, it is more important than ever for you to seek out knowledge, develop critical thinking skills, and learn to move forward with confidence and faith. Our children live in a world that is messier than we’ve ever experienced. But we also live in a world full of readily available resources and amazingly talented people working to

overcome the mess. You have valuable gifts and talents just waiting to be explored, developed and shared. As you seek to understand and build up your talents, you will gain knowledge and a valuable education. It doesn’t have to be a formal four-year college degree, it can be, but it doesn’t have to be in order for you to become a higher version of yourself.

Gaining an education is the greatest gift you can give yourself, your family and the world.

Lacey Jones

The

Confident Mom Circle CLARITY. COACHING . COMMUNITY

SIMILAR TO A BOOK CLUB BUT BETTER ACCESS TO THE MAGAZINE LIBRARY GROUP DISCUSSION AND COACHING IN-DEPTH TRAINING ON CONCEPTS TAUGHT IN THE MAGAZINE CONNECTION WITH A COMMUNITY OF MOTHERS

THE CIRCLE OPENS 09. 15. 23

ADD YOUR NAME TO THE WAITLI ST

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RaisingConfidentMothers.com

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contents RELYING ON EDUCATION

EDUCATION + CONFIDENCE + OUTCOMES

01 EDITOR'S NOTE Education comes in several different forms and is vital for mothers.

04 CREATING CONFIDENCE Use the CTFAR Model to learn how to create confidence.

06 THE LABELS WE WEAR The labels you use to describe yourself impact your mental well-being.

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ALI ESSIG CREATOR OF PLANTWHYS

11 BREAKING IT DOWN

WHAT DO YOU WANT? 18 READY TO GO FOR IT? It’s time to dive in and do the work necessary to achieve your dreams.

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MELANIE BETH CREATOR AND EDUCATOR

MARTHA ZIRKER EDUCATING GENERATIONS

Melanie Beth Burns has always felt the need to create, resulting in a very hands-on education as she develops her cookie supply business, Killer Zebras.

Building on the foudation of education built by her parents, my mom continued her love of learning as a mother and lifelong educator. The impact is generational.

21 IDENTIFY OBSTACLES As you identify your goals, your brain will naturally hone in on any obstacles standing in your way and attempt to convince you the effort to overcome the obstacles isn’t worth it.

28 UPCOMING PODCAST EPISODE We discuss Kelly Hill-Zirker’s love of language and learning on an upcoming episode of Elevate the Individual.

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Confidence

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How to Create Confidence You will face challenging situations that will leave you feeling overwhelmed, uncertain, and even defeated. It’s a natural part of life and it doesn’t mean you are doing something wrong. When life doesn’t go as planned, it's natural to feel a sense of fear and confusion. However, it's important to remember where that fear and confusion is coming from. Overwhelm, uncertainty, defeat, fear and confusion are not circumstances. They are emotions created by the narratives you choose to believe.

This means that peace, certainty, success, confidence and clarity are also created by the narratives you choose to believe. You have the power to figure things out and move forward with confidence by simply being aware of your thoughts when life doesn’t go as planned. Let’s model it out to better understand the power of your thoughts.

ACTING FROM FEAR

ACTING FROM CONFIDENCE

C Life doesn’t go as planned.

T I have no idea what to do.

F Fear on ways you have failed.

A Focus Blame your circumstances.

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Spin in indecision.

You have no idea what to do.

C Life doesn’t go as planned.

T I will figure this out.

F Confidence different solutions.

A Research Gain necessary knowledge.

Start making decisions.

R You begin to figure things out.

When you believe that you can figure things out, you open yourself up to new possibilities and opportunities. This mindset allows you to approach challenges with a sense of curiosity and determination rather than fear and frustration. It's important to remember that you don't have to change your circumstances to develop this mindset.

You can start by simply choosing to believe in yourself and your ability to figure things out.

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Labels are a funny thing. We tend to place them on ourselves without really thinking about it. We call ourselves things like "lazy" or "shy" or "unmotivated" without considering the impact these labels have on our self-esteem and self-worth. I see mothers do this all the time. They come to me with a laundry list of labels they've placed on themselves and they present them as if they were true, undeniable facts.

But here's the thing: labels are limiting. When we label ourselves, we're essentially putting ourselves in a box.

We're saying, "This is who I am, and I can't be anything else." But the truth is, we're so much more than the labels we place on ourselves. We're complex beings with unique talents, strengths, and abilities.

So, how do we break free from these labels? The first step is to recognize that they're just that: labels. They're not the truth. They're not who we are. They're just words we've chosen to describe ourselves. They belong in the thought line of the model, not the circumstance line.

Once we recognize this, we can begin to challenge them and gain an awareness of what these beliefs create in our lives. Instead of saying, "I'm lazy," we can decide if thinking, "I know when to rest" creates a more powerful result for us. Instead of saying, "I'm shy" we can choose, "Maybe I’m a little quiet, but I'm also a great listener and observer." Instead of saying, "I'm unmotivated," we can say, "I'm taking my time to figure out what I really want to do, and that's okay."

By changing the way we talk to ourselves, we can create the emotional well-being necessary to create the results we want. We can start to see our strengths and abilities, and we can start to believe in ourselves. The ripple effect of gaining this new awareness is developing a genuine self-confidence. So, the next time you catch yourself using a label to describe who you are, remember: you're more than that. You're a complex, multi-faceted human being with endless potential.

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LABELING YOURSELF SELF COACHING WORKSHEET

What labels do you currently use to describe yourself?

What labels do you want to use to describe yourself?

NEED HELP? Schedule a 1:1 coaching session thru laceyjonescoaching.com to work thru your thoughts.

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Ali Essig Creator of PlantWhys

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Relying on Education Ali never imagined she would lose her father to his one and only heart attack at the age of 55. And she never imagined she would walk into the ER and find her 37-yearold husband slumped over in a wheelchair, looking like he had aged 50 years, suffering from a stroke. Life turned upside-down for this mother of 6 in that emergency room and the months following her husband’s stroke. Ali became the sole caretaker for her children and her husband as they searched for why he had lost his sight. The doctors encouraged the family to follow a heart healthy diet but provided little information on how to do that. Lost in a sea of unknowns, Ali sought something she could control and she turned to God. She knew her family needed to change their diet but she lacked information. Drawing from her formal education, as well as her spiritual education, Ali leaned into her faith and studied the best way to feed her family. As she gained new knowledge, she practiced on her family and started sharing the information thru her Instagram account. People started to notice what was happening and what she was

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sharing and they wanted more. Ali sought further certifications and began building her business platform. While managing life, her kids, and her husband’s recovery, she learned she needed to care for herself as well. She found that the business and helping others was a source of true joy and personal fulfillment.

Motivated by her own experiences and the desire to help others, Ali founded PlantWhys, initially focusing on plant-based eating. With time and experience, her business has now evolved to address various health concerns and weight loss goals.

She has also created an emotional eating course to help clients overcome emotional roadblocks. Ali's passion for her work is evident as she describes how it brings her joy and fulfillment. Through her journey to gain more knowledge, Ali has elevated her family, the members of her team and her clients. For the full story, tune into the podcast as Ali and I discuss the impact of her quest for answers.

Ep. 60 Trusting Your Gut with Ali Essig of PlantWhys Available 09.06.23

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What Do You Want?

Knowing what you want is the key to achieving great outcomes.

It's like having a destination in mind when you embark on a journey. Without it, you’ll end up wandering aimlessly and never reach your desired location. Knowing what you want allows you to set clear goals and create a plan of action. It helps you stay focused and motivated, and it also allows you to measure your progress along the way. You'll know when you're getting closer to your goal. You'll be able to celebrate your successes along the way. But knowing what you want isn't always easy. It requires self-reflection and introspection. You need to take the time to really think about what you want out of life, what brings you joy and fulfillment, and what makes you feel alive. Once you have a clear idea of what you want, don't be afraid to go after it with everything you've got. Take risks, step out of your comfort zone, and don't let fear hold you back.

Remember, the only thing standing between you and your dreams is yourself. So, if you're feeling lost or unsure about your direction in life, take some time to figure out what you want. It may not be easy, but it will be worth it in the end.

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WHAT DO YOU WANT? Think about your goals and dreams for your life.

Make a list of all the things you want, including feelings and things.

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Do you want the things you currently have?

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NEED HELP? Schedule a 1:1 coaching session thru laceyjonescoaching.com to work thru your thoughts.

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Education is not preparation for life.

Education is life itself.

-John Dewey

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Melanie Beth Creator of Killer Zebras 14

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Learning thru Creation Melanie Beth Burns has always felt the need to create, resulting in a very hands-on education. As a young child, she was constantly cutting, gluing and creating with whatever supplies she could find. Driven by curiosity and the ability to figure things out, she has successfully grown into a renowned expert in the cookie industry.

Melanie has learned the importance of humor, as reflected in her business name, and the necessity of self-care, particularly for working mothers. Melanie's perspective is shaped by her passion for creativity, her resilience in the face of challenges, and her commitment to providing quality products and education for her customers.

When Melanie started baking and decorating cookies, she was driven by the need for a creative outlet. Because the cookie decorating industry was just beginning to sprout, Melanie learned thru trial and error. She created the supplies and techniques that worked best for her. Her innovative thinking and creating has led her to develop thousands of cookie cutters and opened doors to new avenues of education in the cookie decorating industry.

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The Killer Zebra supply shop now houses several 3D printers and lasers.

The knowledge necessary to run the machines and create within the design programs has all been selftaught. While Melanie has been learning and coming to understand the machines, her children have been watching and learning as well. Her son has become a valuable asset to the robotics team at his school. His creative mind reflects the atmosphere of creation Melanie and her husband have developed for their family. It’s exciting to think how their children will use the skills they’ve learned as they continue to learn thru hands-on creation.

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For advanced cookiers, the ability to create custom colors is what sets them apart. This ability is also something that comes naturally for Melanie and it is fascinating to learn from her. As Melanie has progressed from decorator to creator to educator, her education has advanced as well. Tune into the podcast to hear Melanie share her fascinating journey. For more product info please visit killerzebras.com.

Ep. 62 Cookie Cutter Creation with Melanie Beth of Killer Zebras Available 09.13.23

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Ready to go for it?

As you made the list of things you want, what surfaced? Was there a theme at all? What if I told you it’s time to make things happen? It’s time to stop sitting on the sidelines, watching and waiting for life to get better. It’s time to stop putting your hopes, desires and the impressions of your heart on the backburner.

I’m not asking you to forget all your responsibilities and the needs of everyone else around you. But I am asking you to start making a plan. I am asking you to challenge the thoughts and labels that have been keeping you stuck. Start putting in the work and gaining the knowledge you need in order to create the life you are capable of living. As you work towards your goals outside of motherhood, I believe you will develop a greater confidence in your role as a mother.

Working towards your personal goals and desired outcomes will benefit your family. You will learn to problem solve more efficiently and with less drama.

You will think of creative solutions that will lead to new opportunities for you and your family. You will show up as contributors within your community. I believe you are ready and I am here for you.

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CONSIDER THE OUTCOME CHOOSE ONE ITEM FROM THE PREVIOUS WORKSHEET THAT YOU WANT TO WORK TOWARDS AND ANSWER THE QUESTIONS BELOW.

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1. Write your outcome or goal below.

2. Why do you want to achieve it?

3. If you achieve this, what will it mean to you?

4. How do you feel when you imagine realizing this outcome?

5. What will be the same when you realize this outcome? (In what ways are you already living this outcome?)

6. What will be different when you realize this outcome?

7. How will you need to change to become the person who has realized this outcome?

NEED HELP? Schedule a 1:1 coaching session thru laceyjonescoaching.com to work thru your thoughts.

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STEPS TO ACHIEVE THE OUTCOME What are the steps, from start to finish, to complete your desired outcome?

Brainstorm a list below. You’re not allowed to say, “I don’t know.”

For each step, design a time frame and deadline for completion

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Were you tempted to say ‘I don’t know’? If yes, how did you overcome that temptation?

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NEED HELP? Schedule a 1:1 coaching session thru laceyjonescoaching.com to work thru your thoughts.

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For everything you truly want, there will be obstacles.

As you further your education, you will push yourself to learn, do and become a greater version of yourself.

Gaining an education is a journey filled with goal setting. As you identify your goals, your brain will naturally hone in on any obstacles standing in your way and attempt to convince you the effort to overcome the obstacles isn’t worth it. That’s what brains do. They protect us and keep us safe. Obstacles can actually be turned into the strategies you need in order to get the job done. These strategies are the exact steps you will take to accomplish the goal. In order to create your strategies, you need to understand your obstacles. Use the following worksheet to outline four obstacles preventing you from achieving your goal. Once you understand the obstacles, break them down into strategies.The ability to develop critical thinking skills to overcome these obstacles is your education. Your education will take you to new places.

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IDENTIFY OBSTACLES AND STRATEGIES Consider your outcome from the previous worksheets. List any obstacles you might face while achieving this goal. Next, list your strategy to overcome each obstacle.

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OBSTACLE

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STRATEGY

NEED HELP? Schedule a 1:1 coaching session thru laceyjonescoaching.com to work thru your thoughts.

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Laura Lines

In her words: I am a Certified Life Coach for Homeschool Families! I am married to Jeffery, and together we have 6 kids, ages 12 to 1, 4 boys and 2 girls. Born and raised in Arizona, I'm a cactus prickly pear--prickly on the outside, sweet on the inside. My lifelong dream is to world school with my family around the world and learn through real-world immersive experiences. Through the challenges of homeschooling, I developed the Heart Learning Model that empowers kids to love learning and empowers parents to love homeschooling!

Elevate the

Individual The Heart of Homeschooling with Laura Lines Episode 58

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I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples.

-Mother Theresa

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Educating Generations

Martha Zirker my mom R A I S I N G

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We share a common name and drive for education.

Louise

Martha Louise

Lacey Louise

If you flip back to the July issue of Raising Confident Mothers, you will find an article about my mom’s mother, Louise Walker Backlund and how she lived an intentional life. After the doctor explained her ALS diagnosis she shares, “The calmness arose in me and I said: It's alright, Doctor, I'm not afraid." The fear subsided because she had made deliberate choices. She was confident in what she had created. Together, my grandma and grandpa instilled a love of education in the hearts of their children. Thru their efforts my mom graduated from college. My mom continued her love of learning as a mother and life-long educator. Before retiring from her teaching career, she earned her Masters Degree in Education, received an award on behalf of local educators and was voted Teacher of the Year. Tune into the podcast to hear how she relied on her education thru the ups and downs of raising our family.

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A Life of Learning with Martha Zirker, the Woman I call Mom Episode 59

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Every day you have the opportunity to learn and experience something and someone new.

Seize the opportunity.

Learn and experience everything you can, and use it to change the world.

-Rodney Williams

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coming soon to the podcast In her words: I am a teacher, knitter, amateur musician, baker, pilates dabbler, language enthusiast, and mom, among other things. I am the wife to husband Travis and mom of Wren, a fiery 7-year-old who loves ninja warrior courses, and Finn, a stubborn 5-yearold whose personality will serve him very well as an adult (but causes his parents plenty of frustration!)

I currently work as a teacher trainer for the US Department of State. My career has included projects related to teacher training and development, bilingual education, intercultural competence, curriculum development, and English language skills. I hold both an MA and BA in Applied Linguistics and regularly consider dropping everything to return to university for a PhD program. I love languages and look forward to learning Korean this year in preparation for our international move next summer.

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Kelly Hill-Zirker has opened her life to a global community as the result of her educational pursuits. What started as an education in language has turned into a lifetime of learning and educating. The culmination of her Masters Degree was only the beginning of her global adventures. By continuously striving for personal growth, Kelly has become a staunch advocate for the mental health and well-being of women and mothers. She shares her personal journey on the podcast in hopes of inspiring others to seek the help they need while also encouraging continous education thru life experiences.

Elevate the

Individual Ep. 62 The Language of Learning with Kelly Hill-Zirker Available 09.20.23

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In today's world it's easy to get caught up in the negativity and stress that surrounds us. We pour so much time and energy into the next generation hoping and praying they make it thru their teenage years. Oftentimes, we lose sight of the mothers standing behind them. Mothers who want nothing more than for their children to succeed, who also have dreams of their own. Together, we highlight the stories of these incredible mothers as they raise their families and communities while getting after their goals and caring for their own mental health.

Join us as we elevate the individual for the good of the whole.

New episode available each week on the website and all podcast apps.

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The curves and overlapping letters speak to creativity and approachability.

The double lines represent the journey we're on together as mothers and in our coaching relationship.

Arch shapes throughout my branding reflect the welcoming environment and support I give my clients throughout the ups and downs of motherhood.