March 2024 Raising Confident Mothers

raising ISSUE NINE

CONFIDENT MOTHERS

GET OFF THE HOT MESS EXPRESS

A SIMPLE PROCESS TO DECLUTTER YOUR LIFE

STOP STRESSING AND START PROGRESSING

“The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex, overwhelming tasks into small, manageable tasks, and then starting on the first one."

Mark Twain

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Your Monthly Dose of True Self-Care Juggling the endless tasks of motherhood alongside personal ambitions can be exhausting. Just as your children look to you for support, moms deserve guidance and support systems of their own.

Raising Confident Mothers is brought to you by Lacey Jones, a certified life coach.

Each month, members have access to workbooks to help them prioritize true selfcare.

They’re filled with coaching strategies designed to help women of faith interpret the world through a healthier lens. This helps you gain greater control over your mind and discover more joy in your daily life.

As you work through these exercises, you empower yourself to show up as a more confident, patient, and inspired woman and mother.

Subscribe to Raising Confident Mothers for a regular dose of inspiration and practical help for your motherhood journey.

Subscribe to monthly workbooks from Raising Confident Mothers and experience the transformative power of small perspective shifts.

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raising CONFIDENT MOTHERS

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contents Go through this workbook page by page. The teaching topics and journaling pages will help you uncover your stressors and reclaim control.

Intro: Get off the Hot Mess Express Get ready to navigate life's chaos with practical guidance and journaling prompts.

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Workbook Step 1: Thought download Learn how to break down messy areas of life into small chunks so they’re easier to handle.

Workbook Step 2: Thought Transformation + Plan of Action Find an explanation to shift into productive thinking.

Use this space to define specific actions to move forward with confidence.

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Workbook Introduction

step off the

Hot Mess Express How to Gain Clarity When Life Feels Out of Control

Do you ever feel like a hot mess? You have so many things calling for your attention: your kids, your spouse/significant other, extended family, church, work…

Combined, these things can make us feel overwhelmed — like we’re on board the Hot Mess Express.

When life is messy, we often interpret it as us being messy.

But you are not messy; you are human. The human experience is what’s messy.

Thankfully, there are simple steps you can take to unravel the mess of life.

This edition of Raising Confident Mothers includes guidance and journaling prompts to help you do just that.

We’ll take everything that’s causing you stress — children, spouse/significant other, work, spirituality, and self-care — and break it down into small, manageable pieces.

So grab a pen, sit down, and work through these activities. It’s worth it to gain clarity and create more of the results you want in life.

Let’s slow down and step OFF the Hot Mess Express.

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What Happens When You Break Down the Clutter of Life During a recent mentor session, a client told me, “I feel so overwhelmed when I walk into my house.

There’s so much clutter on the counter. It feels so messy and just draining.”

We tackled the situation together by breaking it down into manageable chunks. We went section-bysection on her counter and listed every item she could see (the mixer, the toaster, the catch-all papers...)

One by one, I asked her whether she wanted that item on the counter, or if there was a more appropriate place for it. As we buckled down and processed each item, she discovered the messy counter wasn’t such a big deal after all.

By breaking things down and processing one piece at a time, we removed the heaviness from the situation. She started to see the purpose of each individual item instead of generalizing it as clutter.

This is a principle you can apply to many areas of your life. For example, let’s say you have the thought, “Everyone in my family needs something from me. It’s so overwhelming. I can’t help anyone.”

Push pause. Break things down and separate the circumstances from the emotions for each individual.

Who are the members of your family who need your help?

What situations are frustrating for each individual?

What are they asking of you?

By breaking down the facts, we can think clearly, feel better, and take productive actions.

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Stop Feeling Overwhelmed and Start Progressing the Simple Way Let’s start escaping the “hot mess” phase by categorizing the areas of your life.

We’ll divide each of these areas into sub-issues and continue breaking them down.

Annie

Finding time to connect

Braden

Children

Relaxation

Bob (client) Big project due Feeling overworked

Listening to each other

My Life

Nutrition

Exercise

Spouse/ significant other

Self

Breaking down the mess

Church roles

Spirituality

Scripture study Service

Messy closet

Work

Home

Yard work Bills to pay

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Get Past the Big Issue and Get Down to Details For each category, break down whatever feels messy. We want to split up the issues into smaller pieces rather than big, overwhelming ones. Here is an example.

Kids Child: Annie

Annie’s grades are slipping.

Annie got a failing grade on her last chemistry test.

It’s easier to think of solutions for these issues than the big topic of “kids,” right?

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Circumstance

Circumstance

Annie doesn’t understand the periodic table of elements.

Annie is tired when she tries to study after soccer practice.

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Step 1: Thought Download What feels messy?

Use the following journal pages to write down anything that’s overwhelming you. Start with any section you want. Break up situations into bite-sized pieces, like we did on the last few pages. You can complete one section at a time, or go back and forth between sections.

This exercise is designed to help you increase your emotional capacity as you narrow down specific issues to manage.

Not sure where to start?

When you break issues into pieces, you’ll discover lessons and themes that can be applied to other areas of your life. It doesn’t matter where you start so much as starting.

If you get stuck anywhere along the way, reach out to Lacey for help.

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Children

SELF COACHING WORKSHEET

Who are your kids? (List their names.)

What’s going on with them? List two or three concerns for each child.

Divide each concern a few times until the situations/issues feel smaller and more manageable.

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Spouse/Significant Other

SELF COACHING WORKSHEET

Is anything weighing down your relationship? What would you like to improve?

Write down three issues.

For each issue, write down what’s contributing to it.

Keep splitting it up until the issue is small and specific.

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Work

SELF COACHING WORKSHEET

Is anything bothering you about work? Write down three concerns you have.

For each concern, subdivide a few times until the situations/issues feel small and manageable.

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Home

SELF COACHING WORKSHEET

Does anything in your home or living space bring stress or discomfort?

Write down three concerns.

Break down each area of the home or concern unto small chunks.

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Faith/Spirituality Is there anything related to your faith or spirituality that feels off?

Write down two or three concerns.

For each concern, subdivide a few times until the situations/issues feel small and manageable.

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Self

SELF COACHING WORKSHEET

What is your name?

What are two or three things that are really bugging you right now.

For each concern, subdivide a few times until the situations/issues feel small and manageable.

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Self-reflection How does it feel when you break down situations and go item by item?

Now take a look at each piece and examine your emotions.

After you’ve broken it down, how do you feel about each piece?

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Reclaim Your Agency and Reduce Emotional Drag A coaching client came to me feeling very overwhelmed. I noticed she was using phrases like, “I have to do this,” “I'm supposed to do that,” and, “I need to do these this….”

Many of these tasks were related to raising her teenage children.

I decided to challenge her. I said, “Why do you have to do those things? Why are you supposed to do those things?”

Some of her answers came down to messages from society. But when we looked closer, the truth wasn’t that she HAD to do many of them. She WANTED to do them.

It’s easy for us to fall into this mindset.

As mothers, we think, “I have to provide meaningful experiences for my kids. I have to take them to the zoo. I have to put them in music lessons. I have to get them their uniforms and get them to their team practices…”

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Well, do you really have to do that?

Truthfully, you could just sit your kids at home and ignore them for the next eighteen years. But what made you decide you wanted to provide that experience for your kids in the first place?

You have ideas of how you want to show up as a mom. There are experiences you want to provide for your children. But please

understand

that

these

are

completely optional. YOU get to decide.

For this mother, the shift from “I have to” to “I want to,” took out the emotional drag.

She began to recognize her agency within the situation and why she was taking certain actions.

As

you

go

through

the

following

worksheets, you may find yourself listing things you think have to do or are supposed to do.

Consider whether you actually have to do these things, and whether or not you want to do them.

When you realize that you’re doing something because you WANT to, you are no longer a victim of life's circumstances.

Instead, you can feel empowered as you act according to your decisions.

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Want an even bigger boost for motherhood?

Get more insights from Lacey on the Elevate the Individual podcast.

Brought to you by Raising Confident Mothers, Elevate the Individual brings you real life experiences to complement the topics in this workbook. Find additional examples and insights to help you create a life you love and deserve.

Available on all major podcast apps

Elevate the

Individual

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“An organized mind always creates an organized life— internal organization always creates external organization. ...Every day, you have to take out the trash. That is what a thought download is.

You download all those thoughts—take everything out of the cupboards and put back only the stuff that really serves you, really satisfies you. That is the process of organizing your mind.

So, get to work and do that. Do not be a thought hoarder.

Do not let your mind be a mess.”

-Brooke Castillo

Brooke Castillo

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Step 2: Thought Transformation

Plan of Action You've gone through different areas of your life and identified the nitty-gritty of what’s going on. Now let’s go from having unintentional thoughts about these situations to intentional thoughts. This important part will put you in the driver’s seat of your life and off the Hot Mess Express.

We’ll use the CTFAR Model.* This process will help you get out of the overwhelm and move forward intentionally.

The Model goes like this: Circumstance Thought Feeling Action Result With this model, the circumstances of any situation are neutral.

Our thoughts create our feelings. Our feelings impact our actions and our results.

As you use this model, you’ll discover that circumstances don't have to change. People don't have to change. Situations don't have to change. Instead, you increase your emotional capacity to handle whatever life throws at you as you intentionally choose your thoughts.

Lacey Jones *See acknowledgements page.

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Part A: Identify the circumstance, thought & feeling Take one small, broken-down issue that you identified. (It can be related to work, children, spouse/significant other, your faith/spirituality, or your home.)

Circumstance: What are the facts?

Thought: What sentence comes to your mind about the circumstance?

Feeling: How does that make you feel? (Try to narrow it down to just one main emotion.)

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SELF COACHING WORKSHEET

Part B: Neutralize the circumstance & rewrite your story.

SELF COACHING WORKSHEET

Next, let’s rewrite your circumstances, thoughts, and feelings from a more intentional space. Start with circumstance and remove any weight or drama from it.

This is how you increase your emotional capacity. You neutralize situations. You make it more surface-level, more factual. Then you change your perspective, and you take control.

As you look at the circumstances you wrote down, think about whether each item is factual, or if it’s really an interpretation of the circumstance.

For example, “My child is lazy,” is not a circumstance (even if you believe it’s true). A circumstance would be, “My child completed one of the three chores I asked him to do yesterday.” This is neutral. Then you can decide what thoughts you will attach to that circumstance.

Another example: “I have too much to do for my church assignment.” This is not neutral. A circumstance might be, “My church leader asked me to visit five families per week as part of my church assignment.” See the difference? This also gives you room to decide if you have to do the visits and if you want to.

Circumstances don't have to change. People don't have to change. Situations don't have to change. You do the personal work to shift your perspective and your story about them, then you’re more prepared to take care of what needs to be done.

Try it out for yourself on the next page.

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SELF COACHING WORKSHEET

Try it out.

Let’s take another look at the issue/situation you wrote out previously.

How can you neutralize the circumstance?

Take out any sort of heaviness or drama. Write down the facts only.

What thought comes up now?

Does this thought change your emotional state?

**What action are you inspired to take from here?

Use the following pages to repeat this process for one circumstance in each area: children, spouse/significant other, work, home, faith/spirituality, and self.

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Children

SELF COACHING WORKSHEET

Take one of the specific issues/situations you narrowed down for this area.

How can you neutralize this circumstance?

Take out any sort of heaviness or drama. Write down the facts.

What thought comes up now?

Does this thought change your emotional state?

What happens next?

What is one action item you can take from here?

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Spouse/Significant Other Take one of the specific issues/situations you narrowed down for this area.

How can you neutralize this circumstance?

Take out any sort of heaviness or drama. Write down the facts.

What thought comes up now?

Does this thought change your emotional state?

What happens next?

What is one action item you can take from here?

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Work

SELF COACHING WORKSHEET

Take one of the specific issues/situations you narrowed down for this area.

How can you neutralize this circumstance?

Take out any sort of heaviness or drama. Write down the facts.

What thought comes up now?

Does this thought change your emotional state?

What happens next?

What is one action item you can take from here?

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Tune in for More Simple Steps for a Happier Life New episode available on all major podcast apps.

Get more insights on these topics on the Elevate the Individual podcast. Brought to you by Raising Confident Mothers.

This month’s episodes will help you take a deep breath, stop feeling overwhelmed, and embrace motherhood with greater confidence.

Lacey Jones, a certified life coach, walks you through a faithfilled approach to purposeful thinking. Complement your journey through this self-coaching workbook with upcoming episodes!

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Elevate the

Individual

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Home

SELF COACHING WORKSHEET

Take one of the specific issues/situations you narrowed down for this area.

How can you neutralize this circumstance? (Take out any sort of heaviness or drama.

Write down the facts.)

What thought comes up now?

Does this thought change your emotional state?

What happens next?

What is one action item you can take from here?

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Faith/Spirituality

SELF COACHING WORKSHEET

Take one of the specific issues/situations you narrowed down for this area.

How can you neutralize this circumstance? (Take out any sort of heaviness or drama.

Write down the facts.)

What thought comes up now?

Does this thought change your emotional state?

What happens next?

What is one action item you can take from here?

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Self

SELF COACHING WORKSHEET

Take one of the specific issues/situations you narrowed down for this area.

How can you neutralize this circumstance? (Take out any sort of heaviness or drama.

Write down the facts.)

What thought comes up now?

Does this thought change your emotional state?

What happens next?

What is one action item you can take from here?

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Final Self-Reflection

SELF COACHING WORKSHEET

After completing these worksheets, how do you feel emotionally? Are you still overwhelmed?

If you're feeling stuck or overwhelmed — reach out to Lacey! If you're not heading in the direction you want, remember that support is here for you. You're not alone.

Go to: LaceyJonesCoaching.com

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Subscribe to monthly inspiration from

raising CONFIDENT MOTHERS

As moms, we have a lot on our plate. It’s easy to lose touch with ourselves in the chaos of taking care of everybody else. But your mental and emotional wellbeing is important — for you, your family, and your community.

Raising Confident Mothers is a coaching magazine created by Lacey Jones, a certified life coach and member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Raising Confident Mothers shares simple, yet life-changing topics for your everyday life. Each issue includes worksheets to help you take action and find peace. It’s a monthly dose of perspective to help you live less overwhelmed and more fulfilled.

Subscribe for a year and recommend it to a friend! Let's support each other in navigating the ups and downs of life and motherhood with confidence.

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“My dear sisters in the gospel, whether you are 8 or 108, there is one thing that I hope you truly understand and know: You are loved.

You are dear to your Heavenly parents. The Infinite and Eternal Creator of light and life knows you!

He is mindful of you. Yes, God loves you this very day and always.”

Dieter F. Uchdorf

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Acknowledgements

The brilliant CTFAR Model was created by master life coach Brooke Castillo. This model helped me get through a difficult time in my life as a mother.

Life coaching became so life-changing for me that I became certified through Brooke’s Life Coach School. I use The Model and other coaching techniques to uplift women through individual coaching sessions and selfcoaching materials.

Faith and spirituality are also fundamental to my life and coaching practice. I received an advanced certification from Jody Moore’s Faith-based Coaching program. I enjoy bringing in principles of the Gospel of Jesus Christ to empower women of faith.

Many of the ideas in this workbook and my podcast are inspired by these inspiring women and their certification programs I have completed.

You can find more resources especially for mothers to elevate your thinking and your life my website: LaceyJonesCoaching.com.

Lacey Jones 33

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The curves and overlapping letters speak to creativity and approachability.

The double lines represent the journey we're on together as mothers and in our coaching relationship.

Subscribe to monthly workbooks from Raising Confident Mothers and experience the transformative power of small perspective shifts.

Subscribe here

Arch shapes throughout my branding reflect the welcoming environment and support I give my clients throughout the ups and downs of motherhood.

raising CONFIDENT MOTHERS