June 2023 Raising Confident Mothers

raising JUNE 2023

CONFIDENT MOTHERS

L A C E Y J O N E S C O A C H I N G . C O M

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The curves and overlapping letters speak to creativity and approachability.

The double lines represent the journey we're on together as mothers and in our coaching relationship.

Arch shapes throughout my branding reflect the welcoming environment and support I give my clients throughout the ups and downs of motherhood.

THE ONLY WAY TO ARRIVE AT THE DESTINATION IS TO TAKE THE

journey.

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The desire to create is one of the deepest yearnings of the human soul.

No matter our talents, education, backgrounds, or abilities, we each have an inherent wish to create something that did not exist before.

-Dieter F. Uchtdorf Happiness Your Heritage

Editor's Note This magazine is the result of middle-of-the night inspiration and the most challenging work I have ever done. When inspiration struck and I realized I needed to create this magazine, I desperately dug around for a scrap of paper, haphazardly scribbled down the ideas, then prayed it would all make sense in the morning. It has been evolving ever since.

This magazine features my personal belief system, the basics of my coaching practice, and highlights a few of the amazing working moms I have met along the way.

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I am so glad you have joined me on this journey. While I am excited for this first issue, I know the content will continue to grow and develop. I am looking forward to sharing the thoughts of guest writers, along with additional feature articles and even more free worksheets so that you can create your intentional life. Together, we will elevate the individual as we grow into more confident mothers who work to raise strong families for the good of our communities. Thank you for being part of this community, thank you for being you,

Lacey Jones

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contents MOMS FINDING THE BALANCE

MOTHERHOOD + WORK + GROWTH

02 EDITOR'S NOTE Good things happen as the puzzle pieces align on a sleepless night.

04 THE MODEL Introducing the CTFAR Model and how it will change your life.

06 PERSONAL BELIEF SYSTEM Adopting new thoughts will empower you to build a life of balance.

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BRANDY EDWARDS: WORKING FROM HOME

08 MASTER THE MODEL

BRIDGE THOUGHTS FOR INTENTIONAL LIVING 14 PREVENTING EMOTIONAL BURNOUT

Understanding how your narrative affects your emotional health.

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HEATHER MACEY: RAISING CHILDREN AND STUDENTS

RACHEL MARK: LOVING WORK AND FAMILY

Heather always knew she wanted to be a wife, mom and teacher. With help from her family, she is able to create the life she has always wanted.

After losing both her parents in high school, Rachel relied on the guidance of strong, dedicated women to help her move forward and build her home-based salon.

27 PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE Building on the Bridge Thought concept, take time to write out your thought models as you work towards a greater balance of home and work life.

28 WORK WITH LACEY Whether it's a mentor session or group coaching with your co-workers, Lacey has you covered as you work together to build the personal and professional life you want.

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the model a foundation for intentional living

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Before we dig too far into our new journey together, I need you to have and understand one of the most valuable tools I use when working with my clients. I was first introduced to the CTFAR model, aka the model, years ago while trying to sort out the messiness of raising our young family, moving to a new city, trying to help my husband establish his career, dealing with extended family dynamics, serving in our church community and hanging tight to my own personal goals and dreams. I had stumbled into a podcast from Brooke Castillo and the Life Coach School and quickly binged all the episodes while folding laundry and running our household. I was determined to become certified to teach the model and I did in 2021.

The model seeks to show that our circumstances are neutral, meaning they do not create our emotions. In other words, no thing or person can make us feel a certain way. But rather, our thoughts about that thing or person generate an emotion within us. From that emotional state we take action or inactions which create a result for us. The real kicker is when you come to understand that your results directly mirror your thought process. This means that others do not control your emotions. It's liberating and empowering. It means that you get to decide how you think, how you feel, how you act and what result you create when others do or say things you don't agree with. It means that no matter your life circumstances, you can intentionally create the life you want. Here's how it works:

C T F A R

The circumstances of your life are the things that people say and do.

You have a thought about the things people say and do.

Your thought tells your body to generate a certain feeling within you.

While feeling that emotion, you take certain actions or inactions.

Your actions create a result that directly reflects the thought you chose.

Your thoughts are your greatest power.

It will take time to truly understand how powerful this model is but don't let that stop you from jumping in and testing it out. I'm here for you and I can't wait for you to see the value of the work.

Lacey Jones R A I S I N G

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Your belief system is the invisible force behind your behavior.

As working moms, there are so many thoughts running thru our heads, some helpful, others...not so much. It's important to acknowledge the effect our thoughts have on our emotions and behaviors. Often times we want to pin our emotions and behaviors on the actions of others but that gives all our power away. In order to show up in a state of confidence and empowerment, we have to first notice the effect our thoughts have on our behavior. So for this next month I want you to practice trying on new thoughts and noticing how you feel as a result of them. From that emotional state what actions do you take? Take note of any new behaviors and emotions that come up as you try on these new thoughts. You just might learn a thing or two...... :)

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Try on these new thoughts and see which ones resonate and which ones rub you the wrong way. Once you find a thought you would like to adopt, turn to the next page for helpful tips on working it into your personal belief system.

I am capable of achieving my goals and dreams in my career, as a mother and as an individual.

My hard work and dedication is setting a great example for my children.

I am a strong, resilient woman who can handle the challenges of balancing work and family life.

I am making a positive impact on my family's life.

I am not alone in the challenges that I face as a working mom.

I will celebrate the small successes as they add up over time.

I know how to ask for help.

I am an important and valuable member of my workplace and family.

My family brings love and joy to my life.

My work is contributing to a better future for myself, my family and our community.

I am capable of creating a healthy work-life balance.

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Intentional living We've all heard the adage, "Rome wasn't built in a day' but the adage doesn't stop there. English playwright, John Heywood goes on to point out, 'they were laying bricks every hour.' While it takes time and patience to build something big and grand, it also takes work. As you learn to live a more intentional life, you will quickly see that it doesn't just happen overnight. However, as you continue to challenge your thoughts and take note of what you are creating in the moment, you will start to lay the bricks of your new intentional life moving forward.

In the previous pages, you were introduced to intentional thoughts in regards to balancing work and family life. Did any of them seem big and grand and a little impossible to attain? Maybe in this moment, but they don't have to be totally out of reach. You can use smaller, more believable thoughts as bridge thoughts to help you create the next chapter of your personal belief system. Follow the steps on the next page to get you started.

bridge thoughts 08

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CURRENT

thought

I suck at balancing work and family life, I will never figure this out.

NOTICE HOW YOU FEEL WITH EACH NEW THOUGHT. DOES ANYTHING CHANGE?

GOAL

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I am learning how to handle the challenges of balancing work and family life.

thought

I am a strong, resilient woman who can handle the challenges of balancing work and family life.

REMEMBER, PRACTICE IS HOW WE GROW. USE THE WORKSHEET AT THE END OF THIS ISSUE TO PENCIL OUT YOUR BRIDGE THOUGHTS.

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thought

HOW CAN YOU OFFER YOURSELF A LITTLE MORE GRACE WITH EACH NEW BRIDGE THOUGHT?

Work thru as many bridge thoughts as you need. This is a marathon not a sprint.

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Finding the Balance

Brandy Edwards WORKING FROM HOME

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Working From Home Shortly after stepping into a new management role at a previous job I was assigned a team of individuals to guide and train with Brandy Edwards being one of my most valuable assets. The nature of our job allowed us to work from home so that we could be there for our children while simultaneously developing customer relationships and crushing work expectations. The juxtaposition of family life with corporate life required a delicate balance. With employees working in several different states, we learned to hold online meetings and trainings from our kitchens well before the pandemic made Zoom a household name. We got to know each other in the wee hours of the morning as we stumbled to our computers and clocked in before the sunrise and morning chaos of sending kids off to school. From this experience, I learned that Brandy is an extremely hard worker and always has been. She is determined, pays attention to details, always has the answers and is a natural born leader.

California Roots Brandy is a California native, having grown up in a small town before moving to LA after graduating from high school. Living in LA allowed Brandy to meet many people from different walks of life as she continued to work hard and create her next chapter. While working at a coffee and tea house, Brandy was introduced to a fellow shift lead named Will and they soon hit it off. Over the next couple of years their relationship developed and they tied the knot in 2013. They will celebrate their 10th anniversary this coming fall. While in LA, Brandy continued exploring culinary school, the hospitality industry and other forms of work, but starting a family was always part of her plan with motherhood being her main focus. Over the next couple of years, Brandy and Will added two children to their family. As a result, Brandy briefly stepped away from working and focused on

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raising their children. Longing for her extended family, Brandy suggested they move closer to home and they started the next chapter in Carmichael, California. They have worked hard to create a beautiful life for their family thru many ups and downs. Will has exceled in his position with the city of Vacaville and Brandy has advanced into a leadership role where she uses her wide range of skills to guide her team to success.

The Strain of the Pandemic Raising young children while changing jobs and moving to new cities is never an easy balance. Due to the nature of our employment, Brandy, myself and our other coworkers, often relied on each other for moral support and encouragement. While working alongside Brandy, I was entering the teenage years with my own children and I was struggling. The pandemic hit and I found myself desperately trying to keep everyone afloat, myself included. I was stretched paper thin. My children shifted to online school and I kicked into survival mode as I tried to manage 5 boys on computers while also working 40 hours a week on my own.

After one particularly rough day, Brandy knew I needed a boost and she sent me a message that I have never forgotten.

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WHICH

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Was it a reel, a gif, a meme, a post, an article? I have no idea, but I remember the message loud and clear. As mothers we have to juggle so many tasks and responsibilities. With each new demand, another ball is added as we desperately try to keep everything moving, on track and balanced. But the truth of the matter is we will never be able to keep all the balls up in the air at the same time. It simply isn't possible and defies the laws of nature. As working mothers, we have to figure out which balls are made of glass and which ones are made of rubber. Because sooner or later, we are going to drop one. We simple cannot (nor should we) be

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everywhere doing all the things, for all the people, all of the time. Understanding the priority of our tasks and demands means that at some point, we will need to drop a ball. If the ball is made of rubber, it will bounce and we can pick it up again when the time is right. But if the ball is made of glass, it will shatter, bringing the juggling act to a screeching halt as we desperately pick up the pieces before causing further harm.

Here's the kicker...just because a ball is made of rubber one day, doesn't mean it will continue to be rubber the next day. As priorities and needs change, so does the makeup of the ball. Sometimes the roles and responsibilities we carry at work will be made of glass and our children will need to bounce for a bit. In the long run, this is what builds character and independence in our children as they learn to navigate life. But sometimes, those kids are made of pure glass and if we drop them, we're all going to shatter. So we let work bounce for a bit. Maybe we ask a colleague for help, or speak with our boss to let them know we need to step back for a bit.

Failure is Part of the Plan If we expect to keep all the balls in the air at the same time, we are setting ourselves, our families and our work community up for failure. Failure is part of the plan but it doesn't have to be THE plan.

It is possible to balance work and family life without going insane. Knowing how to determine which ball is made of glass and which one is rubber, takes time, patience and a daily practice of grace.

Knowing how to communicate with those around us that we need to drop a ball or pass one off to someone else also takes time, patience and grace.

I will forever be grateful for Brandy and the lesson she has shared with me. I am learning to pick up the pieces when things shatter and juggle a little differently when things need to bounce. How about you? What will you let bounce today?

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Preventing emotional burnout

Each of us has created a story about the circumstances in our lives. This narrative is formed thru past experience and believing the narrative others have offered us. It is the narrative, not the circumstances, that will affect our emotional health. When left unchecked, this story has the potential to lead us to emotional burnout. Feeling emotionally burned out is the result of holding tight to stories about ourselves and circumstances that generate negative emotions over a sustained period of time. These negative emotions build to a state of overwhelm.

When we don't take time to process the negative emotions as they come up, our emotional system becomes overloaded and the smallest of tasks no longer seems doable. If we are to create emotional peace around difficult circumstances we must first look to the narrative we are choosing to believe. When we acknowledge that the narrative is optional we empower ourselves to move out of emotional burnout. As we begin to process the emotions instead of resisting them, we strengthen our ability to create peace. By bridging thru intentional thought patterns, we work towards goals and prevent further emotional burnout.

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3 steps AWARENESS ACCEPTANCE

CREATION AWARENESS As you feel yourself approach burnout, push pause and identify your current thoughts about the situation. Take time to honestly journal any and all thoughts. Don't erase or gloss over the ugliness. Drop the personal judgement and get writing.

ACCEPTANCE Isolate one thought from your journaling. What emotion comes up when you choose to think that thought? Notice how the THOUGHT about the circumstance generates the feeling. The circumstance is nothing until you make it mean something.

CREATION Identify how you want to feel given your circumstances. Is burnout the right feeling for you? If yes, great keep doing what you're doing. If not, what new thought would you need to practice in order to create the desired emotion?

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Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.

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Heather

Macey

RAISING CHILDREN AND STUDENTS

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Teacher/Mother Hold tight to the things that bring you joy.

written by Leonard Hans / photos by Wren Theroux

There was never any question about growing up, getting married, starting a family and becoming a teacher for Washington state native, Heather Macey. So when she gave her masters thesis 9 months pregnant. then walked for graduation nine days after giving birth to her first child, Heather took it all in stride. Her love of teaching blossomed while a student in Mrs. Booth's third grade class at Lake Young's Elementary. From then on, she knew teaching was her calling (for a brief moment she did consider nursing but blood wasn't her thing...)

Family is everything for Heather and her husband,

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Anthony. They have been blessed with an amazing support system and role models to help raise their three children. Heather's mother has been a solid rock of support as the family navigates the logistics of balancing home and work life. Heather's father was also an amazing role model of family support.

Heather has taught a variety of grade levels including kindergarten, 3rd, 4th, and 5th and has also been an Interventionist and Instructional Coach. She even taught summer school for 5 years!

Heather is wrapping up her 18th year of teaching, having been at the same school since her first days

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Plant yourself next to the right people. of student teaching. As a result, she is a beloved and well-respected teacher among the students and staff. When asked what advice she would give newbie teachers, she encouraged them to 'Find their marigold,' a nod to Jennifer Gonzalez's Find Your Marigold: The One Essential Rule for New Teachers. Gonzalez encourages first year teachers by stating, 'Find at least one marigold in your school and stay close to them, you will grow. Find more than one and you will positively thrive.'

Advice fit for anyone trying to build a better life.

When it comes to balancing family and work life,

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Heather encourages mothers to 'Hold tight to things that bring joy and recharge you! Take time for yourself. Even if it is just stepping away on your lunch break or for a few minutes after work for yourself.'

I also asked Heather how we can better support the teachers in our lives and she wisely encouraged us to 'Remind them that what they do matters.

Validate their hard work and acknowledge the skill set it takes to do the job well. Not just when times are tough like Covid, but continually and consistently.'

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Behind the Scenes with Sara Wells of Our Best Bites Episode 33 with Lacey Jones In this episode, we go behind the scenes with our special guest, Sara Wells of Our Best Bites. We talk parenting, connection, teenagers, social media, developing talents and more.

Sara Wells co-founded Our Best Bites in 2008 with then business partner Kate Jones. She is the co-author of three Bestselling Cook Books, “Best Bites: 150 Family Favorite Recipes,” “Savoring the Seasons with Our Best Bites,” and “400 Calories or Less from Our Best Bites.” Sara’s work has been featured in many local and national news outlets and publications such as Parenting Magazine, Better Homes & Gardens, Fine Cooking, The Rachel Ray Show and the New York Times. Sara and her husband Eric reside in Boise, Idaho with their 4 sons and Havanese pup, Finn.

Elevate the

Individual New episode available each week on all podcast apps.

We tend to give ourselves titles and badges that we think we have earned. In the past week of working with my clients these are some of the titles they mentioned: Wordly, Pessimistic, Negative, Bad with Money, Always Behind, Just a Beginner and Unworthy.

If you have ever labeled yourself with one of these titles, this episode is for you. Using the CTFAR model, we'll dig in and decipher between fact and fiction and discover the impact these titles have in our lives.

The Titles We Wear Episode 10 with Lacey Jones

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Balancing All the Things with Heather Ramos

Episode 38 hosted by Lacey Jones In this episode, we dive deep into the secrets of balancing work and family life with mom, wife, friend and real estate agent, Heather Ramos. We discuss the importance of prioritizing and managing time effectively by utilizing a structured calendar and thought management. Heather shares her personal experience of learning to set boundaries with clients and family, building trust and strong relationships. We also discuss the need to assess progress and make necessary adjustments when working towards our goals. Tune in to learn how effective time management can help you balance personal and professional life and achieve success in business while maintaining a healthy work-life balance.

In today's world it's easy to get caught up in the negativity and stress that surrounds us.

We pour so much time and energy into the next generation hoping and praying they make it thru their teenage years. Oftentimes, we lose sight of the mothers standing behind them. Mothers who want nothing more than for their children to succeed, who also have dreams of their own.

Together, we highlight the stories of these incredible mothers as they raise their families and communities while getting after their goals and caring for their own mental health.

Join us as we elevate the individual for the good of the whole.

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The only way to do great work is to love what you do.

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RachelMark LOVING WORK AND FAMILY

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All women and mothers need a higher education of some kind. It does not have to be a college degree but it does have to be an employable skill.

Whether or not you choose to use that skill in the job market will be your decision but please have that insurance plan.

Rachel Mark has truly forged her own path in life. As a latch-key kid of the 80's, she learned to be pretty self-sufficient playing and cooking alongside her brother. During her high school years she lost both parents within a span of 15 months. Her mom to brain cancer and her father to a brain aneurysm.

Thankfully, the siblings were adopted by their aunt and uncle but a traditional college path just wasn't the main focus at that time.

Right before graduating from high school, Rachel got a job at Willoughby's in the mall, the 90's version of Ulta.

While there, she learned all about skin and hair care products. She worked hard, becoming a manager at the age of 18.

Upon the recommendation of her co-worker, Rachel decided to attend beauty school. The internet wasn't a thing yet so she drove out to Gene Juarez Beauty School and met with the admission's lady in person. Her aunt and uncle encouraged her to work for a year and save up the cash, which she did. Paying for tuition all on her own.

Rachel dedicated her time and energy to beauty school. At one point, a financial presentation from the school left Rachel wondering what her future would be after graduation. Needing advice, she called up her mom's hairdresser, Julie Gamble. unsure whether or not she would remember her.

But of course she did and Rachel was immediately invited to shadow Julie at her salon in downtown

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Seattle. Upon graduation, Rachel was hired as Julie's assistant. The location of the salon allowed for Julie and her business partner, Lynae, to pull in high-end clients such as Bill Gates, members of Alice in Chains and other heavy metal hair bands of the 80's and 90's. The business partners were talented, savy and extremely hard working providing Rachel with a one of a kind mentorship. When Lynae went on maternity leave, Rachel was handed her clients for 8 weeks. From this amazing opportunity, Rachel learned these keys to success: work hard, be kind, be friendly, take care of people, serve your customers and make it all about them.

During this time, Rachel got married and quickly became pregnant. She knew she wanted to be home with their baby but also really wanted to work. Just like the internet, work from home moms weren't really a thing yet, but Rachel knew what she wanted and she knew she'd figure it out. Piece by piece, Rachel assembled a salon in their apartment kitchen and started doing hair for friends and family. As business grew, Rachel realized that some clients preferred coming to a home salon versus going to a full on fancy salon. She had found her niche. Business kept multiplying and as a result, Rachel has never had to advertise, simply relying on word of mouth to grow her clientele.

With the addition of two more babies, Rachel continued working at home allowing for a balance

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of raising babies while pursuing her desire to work.

Rachel sees how this has allowed her children to become self-sufficient within her shadow and influence. On the flip side, she also recognizes the lack of down-time and drain on her energy that comes from talking to people all day long while physically working. Like most working parents, some days there's energy left in the tank after working hours and some days the need to rest and refuel is very real. Rachel's key to balance is understanding what she personally does and doesn't need for self care. Her monthly neck massage is more about worker's comp than self care and that's completely fine with her.

One of Rachel's strongest boundaries between work and family is that work only happens during school hours. Outside of school and work hours, Rachel's hobbies are her kids. Spending time on the soccer field when they were younger was self care as that is exactly where she wanted to be. As her

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children have grown, the hobbies and interests have changed. These past couple of summers, the family has spent as much time as possible boating on the lake often with friends in tow. She and her husband have launching down to a science. Rachel knows her role as captain and sets a powerful example for other women and families on the lake.

On and off the water, in and outside of work and family life, Rachel has been a powerful example of learning to balance her love of family and work.

Being a working mom is amazing. As you consider whether or not to work or start a business, please make sure your work and home life find a balance. Developing your daily protocol will lead you to success.

Stay tuned for more on that in next month's issue.

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Motherhood is a balance of holding on and letting go.

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Bridge Thought Practice After reading pages 8 and 9, identify one new thought you would like to incorparate into your personal belief system. Your current thought reflects what you think today as opposed to your desired thought. Choose a bridge thought somewhere in the middle of the two thoughts that feels believable as you work towards adopting your new personal belief. Use as many bridge thoughts as you need as you work towards adopting the new thought.

CURRENT THOUGHT:

BRIDGE THOUGHT:

BRIDGE THOUGHT:

BRIDGE THOUGHT:

GOAL THOUGHT:

Need help? Schedule a session with Lacey and she'll walk you thru it.

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Craft a Better Life WITH LACEY

group coaching 28

corporate coaching scan the code for more information

LACEYJONESCOACHING.COM

mentor sessions 29

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