July 2023 Raising Confident Mothers

raising JULY 2023

CONFIDENT MOTHERS

LINDSAY HEYNEMAN

LETTIE BOUTIQUE SHARING LIGHT THRU FASHION

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The curves and overlapping letters speak to creativity and approachability.

The double lines represent the journey we're on together as mothers and in our coaching relationship.

Arch shapes throughout my branding reflect the welcoming environment and support I give my clients throughout the ups and downs of motherhood.

Self-care looks different when you understand your self-worth.

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Sometimes our emotions prevent us from honoring who we truly are.

Life will be 50/50.

Commit with me to show up for ALL of it.

We can totally do this with the right tools.

Editor's Note Self-care is all the buzz these days but I tend to shudder when I think of manicures, massages, and mounds of ice cream being used to make everything better. To be honest, I've only had my nails done once, I can't get over the thought of a stranger giving me a deep tissue massage and I gave up ice cream years ago. But I tend to shudder for bigger reasons. I think we are often bombarded with messages that these temporary band-aids will provide long lasting relief if only we consume more and more of them. But the truth is, these types

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of self-care are fleeting and will often leave us in a self-care deficit if we are not careful.

A huge part of this work is learning what to do with our human emotions. Our emotions are a direct result of our selfimage. As we improve our self-image and learn to process our emotions, we will treat ourselves and others with the greatest selfcare.

Lasting self-care starts with an understanding of our true self-worth.

Lacey Jones

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contents FASHION BOUTIQUE OWNER

SELF-WORTH + EMOTIONS + SELF-CARE

02 EDITOR'S NOTE Put down the ice cream and discover your self-worth as you process your emotions.

04 CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEUTRAL Using the CTFAR model to show how your self-worth impacts your mothering

07 UNDERSTANDING YOUR WORTH Reflect on your value and why you see yourself the way you do.

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LINDSAY HEYNEMAN: SHARING HER LIGHT

10 BREAKING IT DOWN

PROCESSING EMOTION 16 IMPROVING YOUR INTERNAL DICTIONARY

Expand your self-worth by understanding your self-image.

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ROBYN RAMSAY: TRUSTING HERSELF

MARLA BEECH: CONNECTION

The mountains are calling and Robyn must go. Whether she's summitting, circumventing or mothering, Robyn maintains her individual identity as a result of understanding her self-worth.

Life and time have given Marla plenty of inspiration to work with. As a result, she created her Unique Connection Method in hopes of helping other women navigate the natural transitions of life.

22 THANKING LOUISE We often do things that our future self would thank us for. In this inspirational article, Lacey thanks the women of her past for helping her become the best version of herself.

27 IT'S YOUR TIME Develop your light and take your personal growth to the next level thru professional 1:1 coaching with Lacey Jones.

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Circumstances are Neutral

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Choose Your Narrative Last month I introduced you to the CTFAR model, aka the greatest tool for intentional living. As we come to understand how each line of the model works, we will gain a greater awareness and understanding of our ability to create the life we want. The first piece of the model is the (C)ircumstance line. In order to gain an awareness of where our power and agency lies in any given situation, we choose one fact, one statement someone said to us or one thing someone else did and we write it in the Circumstance line. From there, our very human brain will naturally create a narrative about those facts, words and actions which will then generate an emotion within us. And from that emotional state, we will take actions that create a result that mirrors our narrative. Now consider how this applies to self-care and self-worth.

In life, we will experience a set of circumstances that is unique to us. Our understanding of our individual worth will greatly impact the result we create with those circumstances. If we hold the narrative that we are less than someone else or that our circumstances define who we are, we limit our ability to generate unconditional love and self-compassion. We limit our ability to grow and expand, and our ability to create meaningful connections and experiences. With this mentality, we place ourselves in victim mode and we take actions that keep us there. When we are in victim mode our actions in the name of self-care look very different then when we truly understand our divine worth. Consider these two self-coaching models: Child does something you asked

Child does something you asked

C them not to do.

T I am failing as a mother.

F Discouraged Yell at child, A Eat a pint of ice cream.

C them not to do. child's choices don't T My determine my ability to mother.

F Confident Seek help as needed.

A Continue to teach your child.

R You fail to be the mother you want to be.

R You mother to the best of your ability.

Look for ways child is failing.

Look for ways you are failing.

Implement boundaries and consequences.

Learn new parenting skills.

What do you notice with the two different models? The Circumstance line stayed the same but that's about it. Look at the Action lines. The actions of the two models are very different because of the narratives in the Thought lines, not because the child changed their actions.

When you understand that the circumstances in your life are neutral, your self-worth and your self-care actions look different and lead to greater results.

Lacey Jones R A I S I N G

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Self-worth is not defined by doing, achieving or creating.

Self-worth is simply being. You have an infinite worth that will never change no matter your actions or the actions of others.

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UNDERSTANDING YOUR SELF-WORTH According to the American Psychological Association, self-worth is defined as 'An individual’s evaluation of himself or herself as a valuable, capable human being deserving of respect and consideration.' How would you rate your self-worth?

10 Gold Stars = I know my value.

5 Gold Stars = I am learning my value.

1 Gold Star = I don't believe I have value.

SELF COACHING WORKSHEET

Why did you rate your self-worth the way you did?

How would you like to develop and improve your self-worth?

One thought you want to believe about your self-worth:

What will be different about your life when you improve your self-worth?

NEED HELP? Schedule a 1:1 coaching session thru laceyjonescoaching.com to work thru your thoughts.

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He not only knows your name, He knows your circumstances. He knows your hopes and dreams, including your fears and frustrations.

He knows all of it and He loves you.

-Tiffany Carbajal

Elevate the

Individual You Are Divine with Tiffany Carbajal, Episode 41

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In today's world it's easy to get caught up in the negativity and stress that surrounds us. We pour so much time and energy into the next generation hoping and praying they make it thru their teenage years. Oftentimes, we lose sight of the mothers standing behind them. Mothers who want nothing more than for their children to succeed, who also have dreams of their own.

Together, we highlight the stories of these incredible mothers as they raise their families and communities while getting after their goals and caring for their own mental health.

Join us as we elevate the individual for the good of the whole.

New episode available each week on the website and all podcast apps.

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processing emotion One of the greatest gifts you can give yourself is the ability to process and feel emotions. Emotions are the body's chemical response to the thoughts we generate. Emotions come with energy and that energy has to go somewhere. If we don’t take the time to work it thru our bodies it will find a way, often at the expense of our health or relationships when our words and actions don’t honor who we want to be.

When we resist emotions that we don’t want to feel, it’s like taking all that emotional energy and shoving it away pretending it doesn’t exist. It’s what children do when they are asked to clean their rooms and they really don't want to. Instead, they shove all their stuff in every nook and cranny to appease their mom. On the surface things look clean and tidy but mom knows better. When she comes to inspect the work and eventually opens the closet door, everything tumbles out creating a larger mess than before.

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Push pause.

Try these steps to get you started.

As you gain an awareness of how and when each emotion shows up for you, you will gain a greater ability to process the emotion, one layer at a time.

You will decrease the need for surface level actions that simply mask deep-rooted emotion. You will develop the ability to create specific emotions on the path to your goals.

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Where can you feel it?

What color is it?

Is it fast, slow, heavy?

Name the emotion.

Let it be.

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Lindsay

Heyneman

Lettie Boutique, Founder

Hugs, High Fives and So Much Love!

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THE LIGHT OF LETTIE Is it possible to take a humble college hobby and turn it into a thriving fashion boutique? While also building an engaged community, raising a family and creating something that goes beyond just selling clothes? If your name is Lindsay Heyneman then the answer is yes! You may have seen Lindsay's online fashion community, Lettie Boutique, while scrolling thru Facebook or desperately searching for something cute to wear in your family pictures. Lindsay has a passion for empowering women. Her unofficial mission statement of 'Hugs, high fives, and so much love!' is evident in how she and her team respond to the challenges of running a business while also raising their families.

Lindsay's keen understanding of who she is has shaped her interactions with her customers, vendors, and team allowing her to build a culture of support and friendship. As an inner child coach, she has a passion for empowering women. She has organized events, trips, and retreats to help women embrace their self-worth. Lindsay understands the challenges and victories of juggling motherhood and a successful business. She is seeking to teach her daughters the value of lasting self-care and determination as she opens her one-of-a-kind retail store in Pocatello, Idaho in the coming weeks.

Thru this ten year journey, Lindsay has learned a lot about herself, her relationship with God, and her capabilities. She recently hosted a Lettie Disney Day in which women from all over the country came together in one of the most magical places on earth. Many of whom arrived on their own seeking to develop new and lasting friendships with others in attendance. The experience did not disappoint.

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LETTIE DISNEY DAY 2023

Lindsay is also seeking to develop an online Lettie directory so that when members need help they have a resource to turn to. It was one of Lindsay's recent requests seeking help for a Lettie tribe member that caught my attention and I realized she needed to be on the podcast. During our early morning conversation, I was able to truly understand Lindsay's genuine love for others. A love that comes only from knowing her own self-worth. Our conversation goes live on the podcast on July 5, 2023 and you won't want to miss it. Lindsay goes more in depth on her journey to opening the new store and she shares the most tender story about one of her dear vendors. Grab the tissues, because it is beyond heartwarming and will restore your faith in humanity.

Understanding that our weaknesses are an opportunity to create something, Lindsay has built a foundation for her daughters and their personal sense of self-care. She believes that lasting self-care is really about creating a peace inside rather than a momentary pampering. By asking what we truly need we can eliminate unnecessary stress and find long-term relief.

Our thoughts become our reality. And I think that's so important to remember. Are we letting ourselves win? Are we looking for the good that we're doing? Are we looking for the things that we are accomplishing even if we still have a long to do list?

Lindsay Heyneman: The Light behind Lettie Boutique Elevate the Individual, Episode 51

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RETAIL STORE OPENING SOON!

LINDSAY AND FAMILY

Where are you letting yourself win?

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IMPROVING YOUR INTERNAL DICTIONARY Self-image is the personal view, or mental picture, that we have of ourselves.

Self-image is an “internal dictionary” that describes the characteristics of the self, including such things as intelligent, beautiful, ugly, talented, selfish, and kind.

SELF COACHING WORKSHEET

What labels do you use to define yourself?

What is one thing you love about yourself?

In what areas are you most critical of yourself? Why do you think that is?

What is one thought you would like to believe about yourself?

What will be different about your life when you improve your self-image?

NEED HELP? Schedule a 1:1 coaching session thru laceyjonescoaching.com to work thru your thoughts.

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Are you trying to make apple pie with banana bread ingredients?

Elevate the

Individual Seeing My Body for What It Is: a personal journey Episode 50

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RobynRamsay

The human spirit is an incredible thing.

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Robyn Ramsay's outdoor adventures and achievements are a direct reflection of her inner strength and confidence. Growing up near the Sierra Mountains in California, Robyn and her sisters had plenty of space to get lost and explore the mountains. While seeking new and higher perspectives, Robyn developed a sense of confidence only time in the backcountry can provide. Robyn and her husband, Chris, seek to share these same experiences with their three children as they traverse the valleys, rivers, lakes, streams, trails and mountains near their Washington home. While Robyn's time in the mountains easily translates to her journey thru motherhood that's not why she devotes her time to being outdoors. There is no doubt Robyn is her children's biggest cheerleader and supports them one million percent. However, she also strives to maintain her identity outside of motherhood so that at the end of the day, she can look in the mirror and recognize the woman looking back at her.

If we don't know who we are then how can we expect our children to figure out who they are?

Robyn wants her children to know these three things: Number one, that God loves them, unconditionally, no matter what. Number two, that she and their father love them unconditionally, no matter what and are so proud of them. And lastly, that they need to love themselves unconditionally, no matter what. It is with this perspective that Robyn has helped her children to accomplish impressive physical feats while enjoying the great outdoors. Tune into the podcast July 12, 2023 as Robyn shares a great parenting analogy pulled from her time summitting Mt. Rainier.

Whether she's summitting, circumventing or mothering, Robyn trusts herself when the cost of admission is high.

Drawing Strength From Nature with Robyn Ramsay Elevate the Individual, Episode 52

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MarlaBeech Connecting to Time, Life and Self.

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Understand Your Worth thru Connection Have you ever found yourself going through a major transition in life? Whether it’s a career change, a move, a divorce, or a death in the family, transitions can be difficult to navigate if we lose our sense of self-worth. Marla Beech, a 50 year-old wife, mother of four, and founder of Hunkeedori, has developed her Unique Connection Method to help women going through the very real transitions of life.

I find it fascinating that I met Marla as a result of a distinct impression I felt to seek connection with other women within the coaching world. Last summer, I attended a business conference and I was determined to meet new people. As I walked to lunch the second day of the conference, I felt inspired to talk to the woman in front of me at Kneaders. Completely out of the norm and unmistakably out of my comfort zone, I struck up a conversation with Marla and we have been friends and business mentors since that time. I am grateful for Marla's friendship and the ways in which she encourages me to connect with myself so that I can better trust my business decisions.

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Over the years, Marla has focused on the distinct need for connecting to time, life and self. She shares her Unique Connection Method thru her online workshops, mini-sessions, and podcast titled 'Overburdened No More.'

Listen in as Marla shares how Hunkeedori came to be and the work she is doing thru her coaching practice on Elevate the Individual. Click the link in the shownotes for more of her inspired work.

Connection with Special Guest Marla Beech of Hunkeedori Elevate the Individual, Episode 7

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Louise Walker Backlund January 28, 1920 - July 5, 1974

When we are stuck in a moment of resistance towards a specific action, we can muster up the necessary motivation to complete the task by choosing to believe that if we do it, it will make our life easier in the future. During the early months of the pandemic, I found a quilt top pattern titled, 'Letters to Sweden.' The half-square triangles in a variety of solid color fabrics caught my attention along with the nod to Sweden, the land of my ancestors. I dusted off my sewing machine, found a Netflix series to binge and dove in. My mom taught me how to sew when I was younger and she tried really hard to pass on her love of pinning and ironing to ensure a quality end product. However, the exactness was too much for my artistic soul and I now do everything within my power to sew without pinning and pray that I can accept the final piece. As it turns out, sewing a queen size quilt made up of 5" half-square triangles requires a lot of pinning if you want the intersecting corners to line up. So I gave in and relied on my pins. Each time I use the quilt, I admire how everything lines up and thank myself for taking the time to pin the pieces before sewing.

Connecting to the Past The process of completing this quilt generated a love of geometric quilt tops in solid color fabrics. While scrolling on Instagram, I started noticing other quilt patterns and makers, along with antique quilt vendors. One handmade quilt from the 1940's caught my attention with it's blue and white half-square triangle pattern and I decided to purchase it. The condition of the quilt is inspiring knowing that some sweet woman cut, pinned, ironed, sewed the beautiful fabrics together and completed it with handstitched quilting nearly eighty years ago. The quilt is withstanding the test of time as a result of her choices during its creation. I have often wondered what her reaction would be if she knew that something she created has had such a lasting impact.

With this connection to the past, I started to think about my mom's mother, Louise Walker Backlund, and her lasting impact. Louise passed away on July 5, 1974 at the age of 54 after a battle with ALS. This was years before I was born so what I know of her has been learned through stories and very brief histories. I know that despite difficult circumstances she chose to live with faith and understood

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her divine worth. I recently asked my mom for whatever life histories, stories and information she could share with me regarding Grandma Louise.

Among the piles of documents I found a reflection Louise wrote after her final diagnosis. She writes: "Have you ever heard the soul tell you, 'All is Well'?

From the depths of your being in time of stress, have you been calm and untroubled? As the doctor patted my hand and brushed my cheek, the words came hard for him to say: "It's one of those unfortunate things...very rare...there is no treatment or hope." The the calmness arose in me and I said: "It's alright, Doctor, I'm not afraid." No more was said. It wasn't necessary. I rely on the Lord. He is my strength...

Illness teaches us prayer-pleading, patience. Faith grows or dies. We become stronger or bitter. I must be patient and strong."

Earlier in her life, Louise had experienced hardships that could have turned her bitter. At the age of 15, her parents divorced and Louise moved with her mother and two of her seven living siblings from Utah to California. She states, 'Our moving came at a time in my life when I had to leave friends I had known practically all of my life and the adjustment was hard.'

It was at this time that Louise's mother, Ada, decided to bring light back into her life and the life of her children. She did not dwell on the past as she moved forward with spiritual momentum. The actions that created this momentum and moved them forward, have been felt throughout the generations of Ada and Louise's descendants.

Louise's ability to say 'All is Well' when faced with a hopeless diagnosis is no doubt the result of years of deliberate choices to move forward in faith and not fear. I thank Louise for her choices and hope that she can see the future of her decisions in who I am becoming.

What will you do today for your future self?

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Service for me brought joy.

It made me feel like maybe I wasn't a failure because these young women loved me, and I felt that, and I loved them, and I needed them in my life.

And so to serve brought peace and joy.

It was my joy.

It has always been my joy.

-Gail Schoenberg

Elevate the

Individual A Life of Service with Gail Schoenberg, Episode 39

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OUTLINE YOUR NEXT GOAL

SELF COACHING WORKSHEET

As you've strolled thru the pages of this issue, chances are you're starting to consider areas in which you want to improve or create something more. Use this worksheet to get a jumpstart on your goal.

Starting Point: Finish Line: Time Frame: How will you measure progress? (Days, minutes, hours, pounds, # of books, etc)

How will you track progress?

How will you know if you have gone off course?

Do you need to make your goal more specific?

If so, in what way?

What will it mean when you reach this goal?

NEED HELP? Schedule a 1:1 coaching session thru laceyjonescoaching.com to work thru your thoughts.

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I will not teach you how to protect your mental health.

I will, however, teach you how to understand, grow, develop and strengthen your mental health so that you are no longer holding on by a thread. I will help you walk gracefully thru situations that would have sent you cowering.

I will show you how to thrive.

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It's time.

Your time.

Here's the deal. I know you love your kids and you are trying to be the best mom you know how to be.

I totally get it. I also believe that part of being the best mom you can be is developing that inner sense of self where you get to just be YOU. As you develop your inner light, you will continue to strengthen your family and your community in powerful ways you never even imagined.

Maybe you have a passion project, a business idea or a new talent you want to develop. Let me help.

Work with me for six weeks and you will walk away fully empowered as you begin to create the life you want.

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Program Itinerary

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We'll kick off our time together understanding where you are currently, what's keeping you there and what you want to create in the next six weeks (and beyond!) It's vital that we outline any obstacles and develop strategies to help you move thru them. Let the fun begin!

With a clear understanding of where you're going, we'll dig into the tools necessary to get you there. We'll take an in-depth look at The Model and how to use each part of it to your advantage. You will leave this session with the ability to walk your way to massive action.

Achieving desired results requires the ability to identify current thoughts and beliefs that might be keeping you stuck.

This week we'll learn to identify thought patterns and where they come from. We'll develop the ability to think on purpose and develop a powerful future focused belief system.

You will take a deep dive into feelings to better understand what they are, where they come from, and why they matter.

You will learn about emotional balance and allowing for discomfort along with joy! You will walk away with the ability to create the emotions necessary to achieve your goals.

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The only difference between those who achieve their goals and those who don't is their level of commitment.

Commitment comes from the narrative you choose to believe when things get uncomfortable. You will put all the pieces together while processing the discomfort of growth.

You will learn to review your plan, discover what is working and identity what is preventing the results you want. You will look forward to your next six week game plan while practicing your new skills to counter any resistance. You will love this process and all that you create!

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Program Includes Six 1:1 coaching sessions with Lacey Jones.

Digital workbook to use during and after sessions.

Detailed action plan tailored to your specific goals.

READY?

Sign up at laceyjonescoaching.com

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