death or glory

WRITTEN BY DEANNE F. SY

He rarely actually comes.

But when he does, I’d tell him that I hate speaking, and he knows I hate being around one too many people. But at the same time, being with him, Bravery, actually feels comforting — as if a man could do whatever he wishes, as long as he is brave enough to do it — and maybe that is why I am too scared to have him. It may be because I am afraid of my own sentiments, or simply because I cannot.

“You are as free as you allow yourself to be,” is what Bravery always says to me. There is no greater escape in your chaotic mind than letting yourself think that you are Brave. For as long as you know that you are with him, there must be nothing you will fail to do.

He rarely visits, and my mind is often dithered by the things I cannot do. I need him here with me, perhaps in a waiting room while I wait for test results, or maybe just in the crowd while I deliver a speech.

My hands often tremble, but with Bravery, it is as if anything can become a walk in the park. There are so many things I cannot do, so many things I want to say but cannot, so many things I want to be better at, but simply do not know where to start.

But he helps me in everything that I do. He makes me feel like I have nothing to fear, like I have to do everything today because there will no longer be a tomorrow, like this world is a world full of potential.

So, I thank Bravery for making me want to live my life better, for making me feel calm, for making me feel like there must be nothing I cannot do and achieve as long as I have him by my side. Do not fret, for he — who is brave — is free.