Jen’s STORY: A ref uge cl ien t
Jen was in a violent relationship with a cocaine addict. One Christmas her abuser held a knife to her throat. Stop Domestic Abuse arranged for Jen to stay in a refuge.
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’d wanted to leave my relationship with Sean for so long, but I couldn’t see a way out. I was terrified of what he would do if I tried to leave. There were numerous physical assaults over the years, but I never went to the police. I was too scared of him and his family. He had completely isolated me from my family and friends. I wasn’t allowed any friends. Mostly he would just tell me where I should be and when I should be there. I just stopped bothering to go out, rarely left the house as it was just easier to go along with whatever he said. He was high and flew into a rage He wasn’t only controlling, he was so violent. He was addicted to cocaine and when he was using, he
was volatile. He would take out his aggression on me. There had been so many incidents over the years. One time he strangled me and tried to suffocate me. My mental health had become so bad. I believed there was no way out, so I took an overdose thinking I was out of options. However, I wasn’t ready to admit what was really going on, so I didn’t seek support. I was smoking more cannabis than ever. I think I was trying to self-medicate as it was the only time I ever felt relaxed. It wasn’t until the incident on Boxing Day that I realised Sean really would end up killing me. He was high and flew into a rage, I can’t even remember what it was about. He held a knife to my throat and threatened to cut my face off and kill me.
STOP DOMESTIC ABUSE
I had to address my drug use The incident was reported to the police who referred me to Stop Domestic Abuse. Not long after this I went into a refuge. As I had a sole tenancy on the flat I had left, the refuge worker explained that I could ask for a management move – swapping my flat with another in a different area with the same housing association. They needed evidence of the domestic abuse, so the refuge worker wrote a letter explaining my situation. Having someone with me gave me confidence While I was living at the refuge I was supported by the refuge workers and by Stop Domestic Abuse’s mental health worker. I started to learn other ways to cope such as mindfulness techniques
stopdomesticabuse.uk
