The Fuddler March 2017

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Est. 2002

MOTHERING SUNDAY March 26th Fragrances available at up to 75% discount!

CHEESEMANS PHARMACY OF AMPTHILL Tel: 01525 402173

Hello once again everybody and as always a huge welcome to this latest edition of your Fuddler!

As always we very much hope you will enjoy this issue - you will find lots of interesting stories inside plus the usual fun and nonsense and of course

Sick PC or laptop?

Call the Doc for Hardware & software Diagnosis & treatment

01525-402227 john.stafford@compu-doc.co.uk

The Accountants you can count on!!

NEED AN ELECTRICIAN? NIC-EIC Registered All electrical work Testing and Certification Free Estimates

Accounts, Payroll, Bookkeeping, Tax, Business Advice ... and much more.

Ring to book a free, noͲobligation meeting today!

AMPTHILL ELECTRICAL SERVICES

01525 632921 07977173452

those all important messages from our advertisers! Do please look carefully through as you never know what you might find in The Fuddler!

If you have decided that you too would like to advertise with us, all our contact details are on page four.

114 High Street, Cranfield, Beds, MK43 0DG Tel: 01234 752566 Email: info@vowles.co.uk www.vowles.co.uk

Guttering Problems?

DH Cox & Sons General Builders

Gutters Cleaned.

Leaking Gutters repaired.

x x x

New Gutters Fitted.

x x

All by a friendly local established company Call Rob on 01525 552066 or 07977 206403

Bradnam Guttering

C&R PEST MANAGEMENT x 40 Yrs experience x Fully Insured x Special Rates for OAPS! Wasps, Rats, Mice, Rabbits, Moles, etc Free Estimate 01525 450046 07500 431131

Over 30 years’ experience Local friendly services Can undertake all aspects of building and maintenance to an exceptional standard No job too small Free & competitive quotes

Call Dave 07976 766143 or 01525 841670 dhcoxbuilding@hotmail.co.uk

When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re online too at www.thefuddler.com!

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ŵƉƚŚŝůů 'ůĂƐƐ ĞŶƚƌĞ YƵĂůŝƚLJ tŝŶĚŽǁƐ Ͳ ŽŽƌƐ Ͳ ŽŶƐĞƌǀĂƚŽƌŝĞƐ Ͳ 'ůĂƐƐ DĞƌĐŚĂŶƚƐ Ͳ 'ůĂnjŝŶŐ ŽŶƚƌĂĐƚŽƌƐ ϭϮ ŵƉƚŚŝůů ƵƐŝŶĞƐƐ WĂƌŬ͕ ^ƚĂƚŝŽŶ ZŽĂĚ͕ ŵƉƚŚŝůů͕ ĞĚĨŽƌĚƐŚŝƌĞ͕ D<ϰϱ ϮYt dĞůĞƉŚŽŶĞ͗ ϬϭϱϮϱ ϰϬϯϬϭϱ ͬ ϰϬϯϲϬϵ &Ădž͗ ϬϭϱϮϱ ϰϬϮϱϮϭ ǁǁǁ͘ĂŵƉƚŚŝůůŐůĂƐƐĐĞŶƚƌĞ͘ĐŽ͘ƵŬ

With energy costs rising and temperatures falling why not save on your monthly bills and complement your house with great looking, thermally efficient windows and doors.

ŽŶƐĞƌǀĂƚŽƌŝĞƐ

džĐĞůůĞŶƚ ƚŚĞƌŵĂů ŝŶƐƵůĂƚŝŽŶ ƌĞĚƵĐŝŶŐ ĞŶĞƌŐLJ ĐŽƐƚƐ͘ tĂƌŵĞƌ ŝŶ ƚŚĞ ǁŝŶƚĞƌ ŵŽŶƚŚƐ͘

ƵĂů ĂĐƚŝŽŶ ƐĞůĨͲĐůĞĂŶ

ŐůĂƐƐ͘

tŝŶĚŽǁƐ hWs Θ ůƵŵŝŶŝƵŵ Zϵ tŝŶĚŽǁƐ sĞƌƚŝĐĂů ^ůŝĚŝŶŐ tŝŶĚŽǁƐ

ŽŽƌƐ ƌĂŶŐĞ ŽĨ ůƵŵŝŶŝƵŵ ĂŶĚ hWs ŽŽƌƐ DƵůƚŝͲĨŽůĚ ŽŽƌƐ ŽŵƉŽƐŝƚĞ ŽŽƌƐ

EŽ ǁŝŶĚŽǁ Žƌ ŐůĂnjŝŶŐ ũŽď ƚŽŽ ƐŵĂůů WƵƚ LJŽƵƌ ƚƌƵƐƚ ŝŶ Ă ĐŽŵƉĂŶLJ ƚŚĂƚ ŚĂƐ ďĞĞŶ ƚƌĂĚŝŶŐ ĨŽƌ ŽǀĞƌ ϰϬ LJĞĂƌƐ͊ &Žƌ Ăůů LJŽƵƌ ǁŝŶĚŽǁ͕ ĚŽŽƌƐ ĂŶĚ ĐŽŶƐĞƌǀĂƚŽƌLJ ŶĞĞĚƐ ĐĂůů ƵƐ ŶŽǁ Žƌ ǀŝƐŝƚ ŽƵƌ ǁĞďƐŝƚĞ͘ Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

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FREE PRESCRIPTION DELIVERY Can’t get to the chemist or surgery?

Don’t worry, we’ll pick up your prescription from your surgery and deliver your medication to your door.

Covering Ampthill, Clophill, Flitwick, Houghton Conquest, Maulden, Silsoe, Wilstead & surrounding villages.

CHEESEMANS PHARMACY OF AMPTHILL Tel: 01525 402173 There are easy seated exercise workouts at Lavender Court Ampthill which is situated next to the Library. The meetings are every Tuesday 11-11.30am in the communal dining room and offer a fun way to keep your heart strong and your body flexible! You are invited to go along or for more information please call Anna on 07784 188871. £1.50 for non residents.

Bedford RSPB local group meet at ARA club Manton Lane Bedford MK41 7PF. On Thursday 16th March 2017 at 7.30p.m.

Steve Lovell presents ‘British Birds of Prey’.

The past, present and future of these magnificent birds.

Suitable for Experts and Novices, RSPB membership not essential.

Entrance fee, group members £1 Guest £2 annual group membership £5 Reg. Charity No. 207076, more info www.rspb.org.uk/ groups/bedford Everyone will be made most welcome - please do come along!

The Ampthill and District Preservation Society present “Mrs Beeton, My Sister” a play by Alison Neil about the famous writer and cook. Alison has been to Ampthill many times and is a brilliant and gifted actress. The performance is at Parkside Hall, Woburn Street, Ampthill on March 17th. Bar available from 7.30pm, performance at 8.00pm. Box office: Country Properties 01525 403033 or 01525 751629. Tickets are priced at £7 each.

The Friends of Ampthill Christmas Lights will be holding a General Knowledge Quiz at The Cross Keys, Pulloxhill on Friday 31st March at 7.30pm for 8pm. Teams of four are invited to attend. The cost is £12.00 to include a hot cooked supper. To book your team a place, please contact Donna Searle, at Ampthill Council Offices on (01525) 404355.

It is with great sadness that we have to tell you that Brian Horne passed away suddenly on the 21st February 2017.

An immensely popular man with a brilliant sense of humour and a well known fondness for his bar stool, Brian was without doubt the master of the one liner! As such he took great pleasure in sending in his witty ‘Brianisms’ to The Fuddler each month and was proud to say that he was the longest serving contributor.

His great friend for more than 40 years, Roy Salmon, has kindly sent us this month’s Brianism in his memory.

Without doubt one of life’s outstanding characters, Brian will be sorely missed by all.

THE COMPASSES 44 High Street Greenfield Bedfordshire MK45 5DD

Tel: 01525 717846

A real wet led pub now offering ...

GEMMA’S SUNDAY MORNING FULL ENGLISH BREAKFAST!!

Only £6.00 including toast, tea or coffee.

Served every Sunday 10.00am Ͳ noon

Plenty of car parking

For a Free 1st Class MILK DELIVERY SERVICE TELEPHONE 01525 402206 Please see our website at www.mauldendairies.co.uk We are now delivering to Greenfield, Flitton and Pulloxhill too!

Maulden Dairies Warren Farm, Woburn Street, Millbrook

When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re online too at www.thefuddler.com!

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LORD DEE’S PONDERINGS

ABSOLUTELY SPOTLESS

There’s always so much to attend to in the grounds of The Hall at this time of year.

The lavender need cutting, the fences need attention as does the lake and we will be preparing our ovine friends for their annual clean.

Meanwhile, of course, on this occasion I shall be raising my glass to absent friends.

Ciao

High standard of Cleaning and Concierge Services.

Weekly/fortnightly or monthly cleans.

All services adapted to requirements.

For further information please call 07719 783717

Across: 1 Azalea, 4 Airbag, 7 Perpetual, 9 Dirk, 10 Mart, 11 Occur, 13 Covert, 14 Lawyer, 15 Pullet, 17 Scribe, 19 Larch, 20 Pint, 22 Atop, 23 Telegraph, 24 Napkin, 25 Breezy

Down: 1 Acidic, 2 Leek, 3 Aspect, 4 Artful, 5 Ream, 6 Gutter, 7 Prevalent, 8 Labyrinth, 11 Oriel, 12 Ranch, 15 Pipkin, 16 Tavern, 17 Scarab, 18 Employ, 21 Teak, 22 Apse

ARE YOU WORKING FROM HOME?

A BRIANISM

“The Fuddler” is published by MDA Publications. The views expressed herein are not necessarily those of the publisher. No part of this publication may be copied in any form or by any means without written permission of the Publisher. Copyright MDA Publications.

Like to book an ad, or ask about our absurdly low rates please ring Martin on

(Please see page 3)

Do whatever you like for my funeral 'cos I'm not going..

Why not book an economical ad like this in The Fuddler and let everyone know what you do?

for details please just ping an email across to martin@thefuddler.com

Or if you prefer, drop us an email to martin@thefuddler.com

Annual Sweep & Service Offer

We offer an annual Sweep & Service with an experienced HETAS engineer for any wood burning or multiͲfuel stove we’ve installed.

This will ensure your stove continues to look and perform at its best.

Call us today to book your Sweep & Service at the discounted price of

£114.00 1, Bedford Street, Ampthill, Beds Tel: 01525 841199 www.ampthillfireplaces.co.uk Mon - Fri: 10am - 5pm Sat: 10am - 4pm Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

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The Jolly Coopers

Now Open After our beautiful Refurbishment.

Open 11am –11pm Monday –Saturday & Noon until 10.30pm Sunday

Good Homemade food available daily Noon –9pm

ϬϭϱϮϱ ϴϲϮϰϬϬ

When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re online too at www.thefuddler.com!

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Garage Door Solutions Ltd Your local garage door expert for:

Replacements, Repairs and Spares x All makes & designs available x 24 Hour repair service x No call out charge x All work guaranteed x Free quotations Call us now on: 01525 721615 / 07761 093468 Website: www.garagedoorsolutionsltd.co.uk Or see the yellow pages

3, Woodcock Walk, Flitwick, Bedfordshire, MK 45 1RD

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Building Preservation Specialists x

Damp Proofing

x

Woodworm Treatments

x

Dry / Wet Rot Treatments

x

Basement Waterproofing

M

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Sandra’s been busy again looking through her big book of words (dictionary?) and brings us the word below. (Nothing to do with the crossword.) Just look at the hexagon and see whether or not the word jumps out at you!

(Answer at the bottom of the page if it doesn’t!)

U

23

24

Here’s another of Marjorie’s fine crosswords for our entertainment Across: Down: 1 Me (6) 1 Deadly (6) 4 Well groomed (6) 2 Otherwise (4) 7 Alias (9) 3 Thrifty (6) 9 You (arch) (4) 4 Cattleman (6) 10 Calmness (4) 5 Tax paying system (1,1,1,1) 11 Located (5) 6 Disclose (6) 13 Small evergreen tree (6) 7 Peevishness (9) 14 Small stream (6) 8 Enormity (9) 15 Handy kitchen device (6) 11 Round flattish cap (5) 17 Grass cutting tool (6) 12 Simpleton (5) 19 Conical tent (5) 15 French (6) 20 Filigree (4) 16 Deeply respect (6) 22 Norse God (4) 17 Became aware of (6) 23 Dear (9) 18 Man’s name (6) 24 Chess move (6) 21 Egress (4) 25 Forthright (6) 22 Spell at batting (4)

F M

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Electrical Contractor Domestic and Industrial Your local Electrical Contractor All types of testing and certification undertaken

FREE QUOTATIONS NICEIC Approved Contractor

Telephone/Fax (01525) 406655 Mobile: 07850 727752

Working with Ampthill Town Council 11 Cedar Close, Ampthill, Bedford, MK45 2UD

email: Jim@dunritepreservation.co.uk

Tel & Fax: 01525 714057

Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

Flummoxed

16 Tavistock Avenue, Ampthill, Bedford. MK45 2RY

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ŝĚĞĂů ĞLJĞǁĞĂƌ Ăůů ƵƐ ƚŽĚĂLJ ƚŽ Ŭ LJŽƵƌ ĂƉƉŽŝŶƚŵĞŶƚ͘ ϬϭϱϮϱ ϳϭϱϳϱϵ

^ŝŐŚƚ ddĞƐƚƐ 'ŽŽĚ ůŽŽŬŝŶŐ ĞLJĞǁĞĂƌ ^^ƵŶŐůĂƐƐĞƐ

ŽŶƚƚĂĐƚ ůĞŶƐĞƐ Z ZĞƉĂŝƌƐ Θ ZĞŐůĂnjĞƐ E E,^ ǁĞůĐŽŵĞ KƚŚĞƌ ŽƉƚŝĐŝĂŶ͛Ɛ ƉƌĞƐĐƌŝƉƚŝŽŶƐ ǁĞůĐŽŵĞ ŝĚĞĂů ĞLJĞǁĞĂƌ ϭϭϬ dŚĞ ,ĂǁƚŚŽƌŶƐ &ůŝƚǁŝĐŬ D<ϰϱ ϭ&E ǁǁǁ͘ŝĚĞĂůĞLJĞǁĞĂƌĨůŝƚǁŝĐŬ͘ĐŽ͘ƵŬ ŝĚĞĂůĞLJĞǁĞĂƌ͘ĨůŝƚǁŝĐŬΛŐŵĂŝů͘ĐŽŵ

When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re online too at www.thefuddler.com!

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ANTIQUES OR COLLECTIBLES TO SELL? Call Elfyn Groves previously of Town Hall Antiques Woburn - 07831 120311 or email elfyn.groves@btconnect.com I am wanting to buy medals, coins, jewellery, gold & silver items, ephemera, vintage toys, ceramics, woodenware and anything that might loosely be described as antique especially the unusual.

With The Duchess of Troll

Reflections in the Dewpond.

'The Old House' All the Five Friends were still chuckling over the Friday bathtime routine in front of the fire, and all wanted to be the first to use the tin bath and not the last one! You never hang around long, as you never knew when a head would pop around outside door and just walk in.

The local doctor did just that on his weekly visit to Great Aunt Lizzie, recalled The Mrs Sam, I did no more than fled to the Apple tree in the garden, being only four forgot that the village road was only feet away, finally Mum rescued me with a huge bath towel, never lived that down, became one of the tales told at family gatherings. The reason for the dash to freedom the memories of that same doctor coming to put hot kaolin poultices on the back as a

cure for croup and dreading seeing him. The Five Friends Sam Ilex, Rabbit Bob, Dapper Charlie, Charlie and Ten Acre joined in with more laughter, no sympathy there then!

Can you remember the birds in the glass case asked Ten Acre that you was telling us about Mrs Sam. That is easier said than done, the case seemed huge as a child, came the reply, it stood on the floor and towered over me. The colourful birds however fascinated me, they were different to the local ones that visited the garden, can recall a white pheasant with an extraordinarily long tail, sitting on a rocky mound, looking so proud. Have never seen another like it! Can see in my minds eye a blue bird, this I now know to be a Jay then no idea. The yellow of the Yellowhammer sitting on a branch at the top of the case appeared to have been coloured on, a goldcrest peeped from behind a clump of twigs, just as if it had been to it's nest. A huge black bird with

feathers that glimmered in the light, so always knew that a black bird had a hidden wealth of colour, you just had to look, even the humble starlings have feathers of multiple colours. The case also had a very rare pheasant, now only living in this part of Bedfordshire , my belief it was a Lady Amherst's Pheasant, they wandered from Woburn. In one corner hidden amongst a tuft of grass a green woodpecker, alongside a bullfinch, with a splendid rose-red breast.

Everyone had a different view of this sort of collection that we have today, we would rather see the wildlife in the great outdoors than in a glass case. The Victorians had no idea that the plentiful fauna and flora would be so endangered by humans in the countryside as they are today.

Thankfully we have become more aware. The Five Friends knew how they too had changed towards the precious woods and fields.

Rabbit Bob turned to Sam Ilex, as

they gathered around the scrubbed white wooden table and said do you remember that time you gave me a little toy bird, which I placed amongst the corden trained Apple trees. When the Mrs Vera came home, I told of a rare bird that had landed in the garden and had put food down for it, she and me sat then knelt down in the conservatory peering through the window. There it is I whispered to Mrs Vera, there it is. A delighted Mrs Vera, now armed with her favourite book on birds ready to thumb through to identify the species, having put on her looking glasses for a better view, then putting on her reading glasses flicked the pages. Couldn't find it, not nowhere! It's not moving much, she turned to me, and knowing me so well realized that she had been tricked. I made a quick exit to put the kettle on before the Mrs Vera could get up.

She never did see the funny side chuckled Rabbit Bob.

Ampthill Park Hub Tel: 01525 406256

Here at The Hub we sell hot food, LAVAZZA quality Italian coffee, plus teas, hot chocolate with cream and flake, ice creams, cakes and more.

We look forward to seeing you soon!

Ampthill Park Hub, Woburn Street, Ampthill MK45 2HX adjacent Ampthill Town Football Club Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

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The Crown Station Rd, Flitwick / MK45 1LA /01525 713737

A Proper Pub for Proper Opening Times People

MONDAY-THURSDAY 11.30 - 3 / 5:30 - 11

Events and Live Music Coming Up!

FRIDAY & SATURDAY

11.30 – MIDNIGHT

Sat

FOOD SERVED EVERYDAY 12 - 2:30 /6-8 OPEN SUNDAY 12 - 10:30 SUNDAY ROAST FROM 12 TILL 3.30 *BOOKING ADVISABLE

Mar – Live Music with ‘Caught Stealing’ Sat 25th Mar – Pub favourites R’n’R

18th

Sat 8th April – Lash Heavy Rock Covers band

Sat 15th April - Karaoke

Sun 16th April – Quiz! 8pm

Sat 22nd April – The Authentics Sat 29th April - Milner Rock Covers New This Year!

The Crown is now home to rotational Craft Lager and Ale on draft 7 days a week.

Come and try something new and exclusive to The Crown in Flitwick this year!

This year also brings changes to our menu. We are giving our talented chef the chance to experiment by bringing out new specials every week. New items will be added to the menu when YOU show your approval. Help us build an exciting and unique menu with something for everyone to enjoy. All feedback and suggestions are welcome.

We are also looking forward to our annual Beer and Music festival 7th – 9th July! Save the date!

Large Beer Garden / Pool table & darts /Traditional HomeǦ Cooked Pub Food / Real Ale / Cocktails/ Live Music When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re online too at www.thefuddler.com!

Page 10

FARMERS MARKETS The Farmers Market in Woburn is held on the third Sunday of every month from 10.00 - 2.00 at The Pitchings, whilst Ampthill Farmers Market is held on the last Sunday of each month from 11.00 - 2.00 at the rear of Natwest Bank in Ampthill.

DO YOU HAVE A JOB VACANCY?

Why not place an economical ad like this in The Fuddler and let everyone know?

For details just ping over an email to martin@thefuddler.com

With Jimmy The Voice This month JTV has sent us this very curious picture of a carton he has made with a shelf next to it ...

However, we don’t think it’s possible - we can only see two cartons!

But, what do you think?

Don’t forget The Charter Market in Ampthill every Thursday and Flitwick Market on Fridays!

By Julio Van Peebles Julio’s worries and useless facts: 1) How can you have a smile on the other side of your face?

2) Did you know that plants grow more quickly if you talk to them in a Geordie accent?

3) Has anyone ever been called Anna Dinn?

4) Did you know that the shortest war ever fought was 38 minutes?

5) Why are Chinese Takeaways closed on Tuesdays?

6) Did you know that the can opener was invented 48 years after the can?

Yet another year has rolled by so it’s time to wish Jimmy a Happy Birthday for the 20th March!

Lots of love Sue, Rich and of course Boris xxx

As always - a very Happy Birthday to ‘Beanie’ for the 17th March

Congratulations to Mr ‘Honky Tonk’ and Lis on their Wedding Anniversary on the 1st April!

A very Happy Birthday Julian for the 8th!

March 13th Birthday greetings and very best wishes to Andy

MOT TESTING STATION IN AMPTHILL We cater for MOT and Servicing for all your individual requirements whilst also accommodating fleet needs.

Ampthill MOT Centre have a fully featured Class IV MOT testing bay. We launched the service in early 2009, serving Herts, Beds and Bucks. Fully qualified MOT inspectors are available for cars and small vans, with over 40 years experience. Authorised vehicle testing station approved by the vehicle inspectorate.

At Ampthill MOT Centre, we carry out servicing and repairs to all makes and models. To prolong the life of your vehicle it is important that you have it serviced regularly. We service all vehicle types and models, including cars, vans, miniͲcoaches & small plant / equipment. If you have your vehicle serviced with us, it will not invalidate the manufacturer's warranty.

Competitive rates.

Collection & delivery

Fault finding

Code reading / Diagnostics Brakes

Engine rebuilds

Batteries

MOT repairs

Fault lights reset

Tyres & Exhausts

Courtesy vehicles

We are a family run business who have been working in the motor trade for over 40 years

Total Fleet Care

Unit 5, Vass Industrial Estate, Station Road, Ampthill, MK45 2RB SERVICING

REPAIRS

Telephone: 01525 405055 Web: www.totalfleetcare.com

Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

Page 11

Best Independent Pizza Restaurant UK 2016/2017

91, Dunstable Street Ampthill Tel: (01525) 404666 Free parking at rear next to garden

www.donatellospizzeria.co.uk

One evening Babs invited some friends round for a glass of wine or two and to watch a film on the new streaming service that she had just joined.

After the film she found her Trivial Pursuit game and just for fun they all decided to play.

It was Babs’ turn so she rolled the dice and landed on Science and Nature.

Her question was: ‘If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, would you be able to hear it?’

Perplexed, Babs thought for a time: ‘Would it be on or off?’ she asked sensibly.

ATL HYPNOTHERAPY AND COUNSELLING Ann TwiggͲLoizou DHP (NC) MNRHP, CPM +ET

Hypnotherapist, Counsellor, Fertility, Education Performance & EFT Practitioner

Are you finding things difficult, nowhere to turn, feeling stuck? Need confidential help?

Ring me on 07704 816110

Based Wootton Beds MK43 9DG

Happiness comes through door you didn’t know you had left open.

Hospitality is the art of making guests feel like they're at home when you wish they were.

I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.

I was going to give him a nasty look, but he already had one.

To keep your railway carriage to yourself, try using nail scissors to cut out paper dollies in the newspaper of the person sitting opposite.

I think I'll just put an ‘Out of Order’ sticker on my forehead and call it a day.

My friend’s husband is so silly that he thinks that artery is a study of paintings.

A man with one chopstick will surely go hungry.

Television may insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.

I don't mean to brag, but I finished my 14-day diet food in 3 hours and 20 minutes.

Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?

1. Approximately how long is The Panama Canal?

2. Where would you find the ‘Pineal Body’?

3. In which Dickensian novel would you find ‘Sir Tomas Clubber’?

4. Who was Prime Minister of Great Britain from 1902-5?

5. I f y o u s u f f e r e d f r o m ‘Scotophobia’ what would you fear?

6. Who created ‘Inspector Harry James’?

7. In which US state is there a town called ‘Ordinary’?

8. What is a ‘Double Large Post’?

9. An ‘Obstinacy’ is the collective term for which creature?

10. A ‘Pietrain’ is a breed of which animal?

1 48 miles, 2 Brain, 3 Pickwick Papers, 4 Arthur James Balfour, 5 Darkness, 6 Kenneth Giles, 7 Kentucky, 8 Paper measure, 9 Buffalo, 10 Pig

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Call 07790 672699 Email derek_story@yahoo.co.uk For your free consultation

When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re online too at www.thefuddler.com!

Page 12

Muctruk Grab Hire & Aggregates info@muctruk.co.uk

www.muctruk.co.uk

x 8 Wheel Grab Lorries with 10 metre HIAB crane x Grab Hire service for the removal of – Soil, Bricks, Concrete, Muck Away, Green Waste & Mixed Loads. x Full / Part Load available x Loose & Bagged Aggregates Supplied MOT, Crushed, Sand, Ballast, Shingle, Top Soil, Decorative Slate & Stone

Look where your Fuddler has gone now! On the left this month is Iris relaxing with her Fuddler at the Taj Mahal, and below is Ian with his copy of The Fuddler at the Geysir in Iceland.

Excellent stuff and very many thanks again and please your pictures coming!

If you have any pictures of a Fuddler being read away from home please send them in to martin@thefuddler.com

SAVE TIME & MONEY… Have your waste collected and your aggregates grabbed off at the same time!

For a quote, call now….

07775 622113

01525 405466

THE OLD SUN

Ampthill.

Paddy, Jenny and Staff look forward to seeing you!

THE OLD SUN AMPTHILL

-

WITH A WARM AND FRIENDLY ATMOSPHERE,

THERE’S ROOM FOR THE CAR THE KIDS AND EVEN THE DOG!

SAT 18TH MARCH MUSIC AND DANCE NIGHT Free jukebox, tap your feet to your favourites!

Offer on Prosecco too!!!

JEN’S FREE DING A LING

Continues with a twist!

Loads of prizes including free drinks!!

CHARITY QUIZ THURS 16TH MARCH 8.15PM PROCEEDS TO MACMILLAN AND MIND

SUNDAYS BOARD GAMES WORD SEARCHES CROSSWORDS COME YOURSELF OR BRING THE

KIDS!

CHECK THE BOARDS OUTSIDE THE PUB FOR OTHER EVENTS

87 Dunstable Street , Ampthill MK45 2NQ Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

Page 13

Well, there’s an important day on its way, Because it’s going to soon be Mothering Sunday...

March 26th is the day, so please don’t forget this important day As it’s not too far away, Those special cards are out on display And a great range of gifts and chocolates ready for you to purchase and take away.

We need to show our mums that we really do care And there are millions of great mums out there.

If you’ve got a mum just like mine You will know she’s there for you all the time, A mum to talk to, and ask advice Having a mum like mine is really nice, And have you noticed when you’re ill, Your mum is there still With all her medical advice Making you take medications that are not nice (lol) So please don’t forget your mums on this special day And even those special mums that have passed away, So now all I need to say Is to all the mums have a great Mother’s day.

Happy Mother’s Day, mum.

MCCOLL’S YOUR LOCAL CONVENIENCE STORE 17 CHURCH STREET AMPTHILL TEL: 01525 404096 OPEN: MON-SAT 6AM TO 8PM SUNDAY 7AM TO 8PM

T Butlin Building and Plastering Est 1987

www.timbutlinbuilders.co.uk

26 years in business For your extensions, renovations, alterations, Upvc fascias / soffitts, guttering, block paving and all plastering including artex ceilings and walls plastered back to flat.

Tel: 01525 405670 / Mob: 07778 680393

Also offering: Impressions Female decorators All aspects of painting and decorating.

With female finesse to make the most of your home Tel 01234 751282 or 01525 405670 / Mob: 07944 710179

GOLD AWARD WINNERS Best Independent Pizza Restaurant UK 2016/2017 Sunday 26th March

MOTHERING SUNDAY Open from 12.00pm Special menu Ͳ please ring Mick to book or for more details on

01525 404666 Seating up to 60 people on two floors with 5 dining rooms.

Birthdays Club Events Company Meals

or just a family get together OPENING TIMES: Monday evening 6.00 Ͳ 9.00 Tuesday to Friday lunchtime 12.00 Ͳ 2.00 Tuesday to Thursday evening 6.00 Ͳ 10.00 Friday and Saturday evening 6.00 Ͳ 11.00 www.donatellospizzeria.co.uk

91, Dunstable Street Ampthill Tel: (01525) 404666 Free parking available

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Page 14

The next meeting is on Tuesday 21st March 2017 at 2.30pm at the Addison Centre in Kempston. The speaker will be Alexandra Milner on “History of the FANYS”: The First Aid Nursing Yeomanry (Princess Royal’s Volunteer Corps); an all-female organisation, started in 1907.

Tea and biscuits will be served.

It costs £3 for NT guests and £3.50 for non-NT members.

If you decide to come you will have a warm welcome. For more information contact Betty Thomas on 01480 861 421

36 Dunstable Street, Ampthill Telephone 01525 634857 2500+ Ales from April 2010 THE PERMANENT BEER FEST SOUTH BEDS CAMRA PUB OF THE YEAR 2014 Thurs 9th March

BINGOQUIZ

8.30pm start In Aid of Keech & St John’s Hospices Cash Prizes £2 per person Sat 1st April

KARAOKE

50s, 60s & 70s Get ready for a Charity Karaoke June 2017.

You can’t B&T it!

CAMRA BEDS PUB OF THE YEAR 2013 OUR OTHER PUBS ARE: The Globe, Winfield Street, Dunstable (Bedfordshire Pub of the year 2010) - Tel: 01582 512300 The Wellington Arms, Wellington Street, Bedford (North Beds Pub of the year 2010) - Tel: 01234 308033 The Elm Tree, Orchard Street, Cambridge - Tel: 01223 502632 The Brewery Tap, North Bridge Street, Shefford Tel: 01462 628448

www.banksandtaylor.com

Following our AGM on Wed 15 March, the Spring programme continues with: Saturday 18 March 10am-4pm, "Landscape for all seasons": a watercolour workshop with Paul Fullstone, popular local artist and Society member.

Saturday 8 April, 10am-4pm, "Animals in pastel": a workshop with Cate Weatherall.

At www.midbedsart.co.uk you will find links to artists'websites and location maps of our venues. For more info about workshops, call 01525 712735 or email vivianne.callow@hotmail.co.uk

DANESBOROUGH CHORUS SPRING CONCERT – RARE JEWELS Beat the winter blues by looking forward to some rare jewels in the Danesborough Chorus Spring concert on Saturday 25 March in Woburn Parish Church at 7.30 pm. The choir will perform Duruflé’s Requiem and Hummel’s Mass in B flat.

The programme will also include Gustav Holst’s charming St Paul’s Suite. The soloists will be Lilly Papaioannou (mezzosoprano) and Chris Williams (baritone), and the choir will be accompanied by the Milton Keynes City Orchestra.

Musical Director, Ian Smith, says: “This is a rare opportunity to hear the Hummel Mass, a lesser-known gem in the choral repertoire, and the more frequently heard Duruflé Requiem, both performed in the wonderful acoustic of Woburn Parish Church. Composed in contrasting styles, both works provide expressive insight into the matching of words and music, brought to life through the choir’s enthusiasm and expertise.”

Born in 1902, Maurice Duruflé became chorister at the Rouen Cathedral Choir School, where he studied piano and organ.

He was always highly self-critical and spent much time reworking his compositions, so his output totalled just 14 published works. His Requiem is undoubtedly the best known and was first performed in 1947. Based largely on Gregorian plainchant themes, Duruflé’s Requiem embodies the same sense of tranquillity and peace found in the Fauré Requiem.

By contrast, Austro-Hungarian Johann Nepomuk Hummel was an infant prodigy who became a prolific composer, as famous as his friend and rival Beethoven and his mentor Mozart. He made his first concert appearance at the age of nine at one of Mozart's concerts. Sadly, his music fell out of fashion until his wonderful Trumpet Concerto was rediscovered in 1958. The Mass in B flat demonstrates his exhilarating choral writing, superb orchestration, and gift for memorable melodies.

Tickets for this concert are £20, £15 (reserved) and £10 (concession tickets of £5 are available for under-18s). Please telephone 01908 583460 for tickets or visit our website http:// www.danesborough.org.uk.

Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

Page 15

THE WHITE HORSE Husborne Crawley

01525 280565 The White Horse, 1 Mill Road, Husborne Crawley, Bedford, Mk43 0XE

Starters Homemade Leek & Potato Soup, Bread £5.25 (GF) King Prawn Cocktail, Ciabatta Bread £6.75 (GF) Pork & Black Pudding Terrine, Apple & Fig Chutney £6.50 (GF) Smoked Mackerel Pâté, Pickles, Toast £6.25 (GF) Deep Fried Whitebait, Fresh Lemon, Tartar Sauce £6.25

Main Courses 8oz Sirloin Steak (GF) Grilled Field Mushroom & Tomato, Chips, Peas £18.95 Penné Pasta Roasted Red Peppers, Sun Blushed Tomatoes, Parmesan, Basil Pesto £9.50 ‘The White Horse’ Beef Burger (GF) Prime Steak Mince Burger with Bacon, Cheddar, Chips, Homemade Coleslaw £11.50

Luxury Whole Tail Scampi Chips, Garden Peas, Tartar Sauce, Fresh Lemon £9.95 Roasted Chicken Breast (GF) Lyonnaise Potatoes, Tomato & Chorizo Sauce, Seasonal Vegetables £13.50 Roast Leg of Lamb (GF) Roast Potatoes, Yorkshire pudding, Meat Gravy, Seasonal Vegetables £12.95 Roast Top Rump of Beef (GF) Roast Potatoes, Yorkshire pudding, Meat Gravy, Seasonal Vegetables £12.95 Roast Loin of Pork (GF) Roast Potatoes, Yorkshire pudding, Crackling, Meat Gravy, Seasonal Vegetables £12.95

All our Meat is supplied by Woburn Country Foods

Homemade Desserts (£6.25 Each) Warm Dark Chocolate Brownie, Chocolate Sauce, Vanilla Pod Ice Cream (GF) Vanilla Panna Cotta, Berry Coulis (GF) White Chocolate Crème BrulĤe, Chocolate Chip Cookies (GF) Sticky Toffee Pudding, Caramel Sauce, Vanilla Ice Cream

House Ice Cream & Sorbet (GF) 1 scoop £1.75 – 2 scoops £3.40 – 3 scoops £4.95

Cheese Board (GF) A Selection of 3 British Isle Cheeses £6.95 (Somerset Brie, Black Bomber Cheddar, Clawson Stilton)

(GF)Ͳ Dishes with this symbol are either Gluten Free or a Gluten Free version can be prepared upon request, please ask

Serving food 7 days a week (Until 9.00pm Monday to Saturday and 12.00 to 6.00pm Sunday)

Matt, Sharon and the team look forward to welcoming you to The White Horse.

www.whitehorsehusbornecrawley.squarespace.com whitehorsehc@gmail.com.

When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re online too at www.thefuddler.com!

Page 16

This year we are celebrating our 70th anniversary and our spring concert will revisit some of the music we have done in previous years. It will include the Faure Requiem, some choruses from Messiah, The Cantique de Jean Racine and Mozart's Ave Verum Corpus. All very popular works. We have a new conductor this season and some new members and we hope you will be able to come and join us at Ampthill Methodist Church on Saturday 13 May at 7.30. Tickets £10 on the door.

Further information will be available on our website.

As always, we are looking to recruit more members, particularly men. If you would like to know more you can contact June Lockley on 01525 404238 or Penny Stimson on 01234 357750.

Tel: 01525 403319 email: engineandtender@live.co.uk Engine & Tender - Bar

Saturday 18th March Final Day 6 Nations Rugby All games shown live Starting @ 12.30

You may have seen our buses out and about and wondered what we do? Link-A-Ride Community Transport provide a valuable transport service to residents in Central Bedfordshire who cannon easily access public transport. This maybe because of illness, disability, or they are frail/ elderly.

We help people get to therapy sessions, Doctors,and Dentist appointments, shopping, social visits, hairdressers and so much more.

We have just taken delivery of our fourth bus, which like all of our buses is equipped with a lift and can take up to two wheelchairs.

All of our drivers are fully trained and DBS checked. They are caring and helpful and ensure passengers arrive at their destination safely.

If you would like to know more about our service please contact us on 01525 840511

RIDGMONT STATION Tea Rooms A delightful hidden gem!

FRESHLY MADE FOOD ...

CAFÉ MENU x A selection of teas, coffees

and soft drinks x Home made cake and scones x Cream teas are our speciality! x Please note we are closed on Mondays x SMALL

x Hot soups and jacket potatoes x A selection of fresh

sandwiches x Toasted paninis x Plus lots more! x Great value and a friendly service!

LOCAL TAKE-AWAY SERVICE AVAILABLE x Telephone 01525 287 120 or

mobile 07936 189 909 for pre-orders x Collection point for takeaway orders

BIRTHDAY PARTIES We can also cater for up to 16 people for a special Birthday Party!

RIDGMONT STATION | STATION ROAD | RIDGMONT BEDFORDSHIRE | MK43 OXP T: 01525 287 120 M: 07936 189909 Ridgmont Station Vintage Tearoom

Full disabled access, toilets and free car park

HOW TO FIND US: By rail alight at Ridgmont Station By road follow station signs from A507

Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

Page 17

LAND WANTED Are you sitting on an untapped GOLD MINE? Do you have a garden that is too big for you, an old dwelling on a large plot, a business that no longer thrives?

We may be able to convert your potential GOLD MINE into development land to your significant advantage.

Give us a call and we can give you a no obligation assessment of your property very quickly.

You may not know itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s potential until we look into it.

Call Peter Sayer at

HUNTERHILL ESTATES Ltd on 01234 766271 or 07786 038906 or email: hunterhillestate@btinternet.com When you advertise in The Fuddler - youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re online too at www.thefuddler.com!

Page 18

An Afternoon “In Concert”

ART FOR ALL

with the

The 9th Mentmore Arts Festival will be held from Saturday 27th to Monday 29th May 2017 from 11.00 am to 5.00 pm.

We are delighted that our favourite artists continue to support the event and are also very happy to make new artists a welcome addition to the team. We now showcase the work of over 60 contributors, twice the number from our opening year.

This, together with record numbers of visitors, has meant that we have been able to donate to charity the fantastic sum of £9,000 in 2016 and over £50,000 in total from eight events. The lead charity for 2017 will be our local Air Ambulance.

The weekend is an opportunity to have a family day out with our refreshment tent offering light lunches, teas, coffee and a bar including Pimms and local beer. We also have a raffle with some great prizes.

Many thanks to all those who make this such a popular event, including our exhibitors, all our visitors (some from as far afield as Wales!) and everyone who supports the Committee over the weekend.

For full information please visit our website and we look forward to welcoming you in May. www.mentmore-arts-festival.co.uk

Vauxhall Male Voice Choir

++ PLUS ++ Special Local Guest Artiste

Gary Wood (trumpet) Jazz and swing music

Parkside Hall s ket Ti c

£8

Woburn Street, Ampthill, MK45 2HX

Saturday 29 April 2017 2:30pm (doors open 2:00pm)

Refreshments available during interval

Tickets available from Ken Jones 01525-753110 or Brian Matthews 01525-841077 or on the door Choir Website: www.vmvc.org

Complete Tyre Support

Call us now!

0844 8000 333 www.threecountiestyres.com

She could see the staircase from the dining room. There was something rather sad and sinister about it. Wooden and beautifully made in a spiral of about five steps around each landing space and there were six landing spaces making it very impressive even though the whole construction was fairly narrow in width. Within a few minutes the little girl appeared bouncing down the stairs with all the excitement you have when only about six with not a care in the world.

Suddenly, she stopped on one of the landing spaces, about half way down and moved to one side, as if to let someone pass.

Amy could not quite understand what her daughter was doing – there was no one else on the staircase. The little girl bowed her head and then continued down the staircase. “ Amelia, why did you stand to one side on the stairs just now”? “Well I had to let them pass” came the reply. Puzzled Amy said “Who”? “Well” said Amelia “There were these two ladies. One of them was dressed all in white and she nodded her head and smiled at me so kindly as she passed. The other lady was rather sad, but she had the most gorgeous red petticoat. Showing at the bottom of her long dress” There was a pause for a moment, - an interlude of thought caught up in the conversation and then Amelia said quite softly but with feeling “SShe did not look at me as she went by, she was crying” Amelia then decided that setting about the cornflake packet was much more important than continuing the conversation, so Amy left things. Checking out later that morning, Amy still fascinated by the breakfast revelations asked the receptionist if the old Inn had any ghosts. “We think so” was the reply. Amy felt a little uneasy, although her daughter was prone to a very vivid imagination, something this morning seemed to be different. The receptionist continued, “The Inn was rebuilt in 1625 using some of the stone from Fotheringay Castle and the wooden staircase over there also came from the Castle and Mary Queen of Scots is said to have come down them on her way to her execution” Amy felt the rush of a soft breeze as it swept through the reception area and was gone.

The sun crept through the window and life continued –

Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

Page 19

When you advertise in The Fuddler - youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re online too at www.thefuddler.com!

Page 20

JH ELECTRICAL • DOMESTIC • INDUSTRIAL • COMMERCIAL

24 HR CALLOUT AVAILABLE All electrical work undertaken email: supaspark@tiscali.co.uk

‘Alice,’ did not look through her looking glass Basher is now convinced that many of today’s so called ‘celebrities’ do not own a mirror. If they did, surely they would not come out into the media dressed in what can only be described – in Basher’s book – as rubbish looking for somewhere to get recycled into something half decent. It is amazing what one can do with bin liners, material that hardly covers the subject, safety pins, bailer twine and outrageously heeled, badly fitting shoes all in the name of fashion!

Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who’s about to make a fall?

Please telephone: 07903 171384

With Andy - our Hampshire correspondent Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat name requested? Obsession.

Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history: Spades - King David, Hearts - Charlemagne, Clubs Alexander the Great, Diamonds - Julius Caesar.

What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers have in common?

All were invented by women.

In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes, the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase…

'Goodnight , sleep tight' .

It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his sonin-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon.

Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. 'Wet your whistle' was the phrase inspired by this practice.

Thanks for these pearls of wisdom!?

Congratulations to ‘The Smithies’ on their Wedding Anniversary on the 31st March

with Auntie Vi It usually only takes four or five attempts for me to get something right on the first try.

A VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO WENDY FOR THE 1st APRIL!!

Happy Birthday to Fred for the 19th March!

BOB AMBLER

AA WINDOW REPAIRS

HOME DESIGNS

DOUBLE GLAZING REPAIR SPECIALIST x MISTY DOUBLE

Kitchens – Bedrooms – Home Offices

Carpentry

Replacement Kitchen Doors and Worktops

A complete design, supply & installation service

Free Designs and Quotations

GLAZING REPLACED x DRAUGHTY WINDOWS

REPAIRED x WINDOW&DOOR

HANDLES REPLACED

x WINDOW & DOOR

ADJUSTMENTS x LEAKING GUTTERS

REPAIRED x AND MUCH MORE

ON OUR WEBSITE

CALL FOR A FREE QUOTATION OR ADVICE

TELEPHONE: 01525 718432

01525 405393 07889 058345

www.aatripleglazing.co.uk

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Page 21

When you advertise in The Fuddler - youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re online too at www.thefuddler.com!

Page 22

Your advertisement in The Fuddler is only a click away!

If you have decided that you too would like an advert in The Fuddler all you have to do to book your ad is to ping an email to martin@thefuddler.com for all the details

1.‘You’re in fighting fitting form.’

2.‘I removed about 10 paints of coat.’

3.‘I was a bit disappointed with my all day breakfast I’d finished it by 11.00.’

4.‘My first child was born a week late, the second was 4 days early and the third arrived on her birthday.’

5.‘If your parents do not have children - it is unlikely that you will.’

6.‘I’ve been on a diet consisting of pineapples and coconuts for a while now. I haven’t lost any weight but I can certainly climb trees.’

Thanks again Imp

Best friends Jack and Len decide to play a quick round of golf. As they were a bit short on time they decided to play just 9 holes. Jack said to Len ‘Why don’t we add a bit of fun to the game and make the game worthwhile at least for one of us and spot £5.00 on the lowest score for the day?’ Len agreed and they enjoy a splendid game.

However, after the 8th hole Len is ahead by one stroke but cuts his ball into the rough on the 9th.

‘Would you help me find my ball; you look over there.’ he said to Jack. After about 5 minutes, neither has had any

luck, and since a lost ball carries a two stroke penalty, Len pulled a ball from his pocket and dropped it on the ground. ‘I’ve found my ball!’ he announced triumphantly.

Jack looked at him forlornly and said, ‘After all the years we’ve been friends, you’d cheat me on golf for a measly fiver?’

‘What do you mean cheat?’ replied Len ‘I found my ball sitting right here!’

‘You’re a liar too’ said Jack in amazement ‘I’ll have you know I’ve been standing on your ball for the last five minutes!’

And thanks for that!

Hello to everyone! I am an actress currently starring in the final series of an incredibly popular and fast moving, US show that is being shown on your televisions.

But do you recognise me?

Answer at the foot of the page.

EN E S V! T S A N O

Our highly popular quiz is every Wednesday starting at 8.00pm sharp. Come and test your knowledge with our guest Quizmasters everyone welcome.

THIS MONTH’S CHESS PUZZLE Can you help? It’s white to play and checkmate in two moves - but how?

If you can work it out please pop in and tell us and whilst you are here have a pint and ask about joining our chess club.

HAVING A BIT OF A ‘DO’?

Our lounge bar and adjacent function room are perfect for a small ‘soirée’ and are available for your exclusive use! Please give us a ring or call in and have a look and then see Richard to discuss your needs.

Friday 17th March

PADDY’S DAY PARTY! Come and join us for the Craic!

There will be plenty of the black stuff flowing, ‘Diddley Dee’ music and it all starts at about 3.00pm!

Sunday 26th March

ALTERNATIVE MOTHER’S DAY! Why not send the men to us for some beer, banter, peace and quiet (depending on Richard’s choice of music) while the children spoil the ladies of the family!!

•ȱCHANGE IN OPENING HOURS • In honour of our departed friend we shall now be opening from 3.00pm on a Friday and not 12.00.

However if you have a special occasion we are happy to open from 12.00 any day with prior warning.

Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

Sarah Shahi - Person of Interest

QUIZ NIGHT EVERY WEDNESDAY

Page 23

Here we have another great recipe that us been sent to us:

CHICKEN WITH AN INFLUENCE OF ITALY This is chicken with an Italian touch which will delight the family!

For 4 you will need: 1 kilo chicken joints from the butcher.

100 gm mushrooms 1 green pepper 1 garlic clove 25 gm seasoned flour 8 small white onions 3 tbps olive oil 1 can condensed tomato soup and 1/2 soup can of water 2 tbps lemon juice 1 tbps Worcestershire sauce 1/2 teaspoon thyme 200 gm spaghetti And - as we are Italian how about some decent Chianti

for slurping purposes!

This is what to do: Dust chicken in seasoned flour, fry in the oil till browned, then remove.

Slice pepper into strips, slice mushrooms and chop up the garlic.

Chuck all this into the frying pan and lightly brown.

Throw in all the remaining ingredients except spaghetti and replace chicken.

Cover and simmer for 30 minutes stirring occasionally, giving you ample time for a crafty slurp and to get the spaghetti on.

Drain spaghetti and serve with the chicken and sauce.

Warning - if you over consume the Chianti you might be tempted to burst into a rousing rendition of Nessun Dorma much to the chagrin of your family members and possibly the neighbours!

HUMAN GIVENS ‘A NEW APROACH’ Ben Keenan

The world of counselling/psychotherapy is a very different place to what it was even ten years ago! Neurological science has provided insights that when combined with the best of other approaches provides a fast and effective solution focused therapy (SFBT) that is embodied in Human Givens. Treatment does not just mean sitting and endlessly talking, it is also about effectively understanding the issues and providing realistic change.

Depression, Sleeplessness, Anxiety, OCD, Phobia’s, PTSD, Addiction (drugs, cigarettes, alcohol, food)

These are difficult and sometimes dangerous emotions.

For the majority of people they are not biological illnesses but complex arousals that can arise from our spectrum of thought and emotion. These conditions arise as a result of circumstances preventing our innate needs being met. This gives access to fast, safe, non invasive, and drug free methods of effective treatment in as few sessions as possible, often in weeks not years!

Having had 27 years’ experience of offering emotional support in the voluntary sector, I retrained in the Human Givens approach. Achieving a distinction in the Level 2 Diploma in March 2015 allowed me to start accepting clients. Now operating as an HG.DIP.P Trainee (with supervision) as I work towards a higher level of accreditation. I also carry comprehensive professional insurance.

If you want to learn more, the Human Givens research is freely available on www.humangivens.org. Alternatively, you can contact me for a free initial interview. A fee is payable for treatment but it is very much dependent on ability to pay.

Human Givens means it no longer has to be this way for a great many people.

Therapy thoughts.

The more aroused we become through complex emotions the more our thinking packs down until it becomes black and white, all or nothing. When we are in the grip of black and white thinking it is hard to see things any other way. Depression, Anxiety, Anger, or Phobias are conditions that arise out of this packed down thinking. They arise because of a range of complex issues yet the temptation is to view them as definable symptoms and we seek to pathologies them. If we start to undo the arousals that have brought about these “symptoms” about then for most people they rapidly dissipate.

Black and white thinking = insurmountable symptoms Calm and open thinking = the ability to understand and deal with the emotions that cause the symptoms.

Ben Keenan Ͳ 07860 195303 or email: benkeenan@ntlworld.com When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re online too at www.thefuddler.com!

Page 24

Flittabus needs YOU !

Volunteer drivers wanted!

Driving a Flittabus can be fun; it’s also very worthwhile.

COMING SOON at Trefoil House, Birdsfoot Lane, Luton LU3 2DN ‘Dementia Diner’ (Demenࢢa Café)

Last Tuesday of every month 10:30am – 12:30pm

We have 3 buses and 11 routes, driven (and managed) by over 30 volunteers, providing scheduled services around Central Bedfordshire, helping many elderly people to remain independent.

If you can spare just one or two half days a month we would like to hear from you. Why not come for a trial drive & see if you like it? Lady drivers very welcome.

What is a ‘Demenࢢa Café?

It is a monthly gathering of people that are a@ected by memory loss.

Trefoil House provides a safe, comfortable and supporࢢve environment for people to engage with others in the local community and feel at ease in doing so.

Who can come?

Everyone is welcome including care givers, families, friends and professionals.. Trefoil House Demenࢢa Café welcomes anyone that lives in the community of any age, race, colour, religion, creed or naࢢonality.

Full support & training will be provided. To learn more please contact Chris Tarmu 01525 861940.

Note: New drivers do need to be under the age of 67

It’s FREE to a end. No booking required.

If you would like further informaࢢon please telephone Neࢰe on 01582 494158 or email trefoil@quantumcare.co.uk www.quantumcare.co.uk

Help line for bus information 07960 388 111

Come and spend some personal quiet moments in Lent Churches together in Ampthill and Flitwick y to invite you

PRAYER SPACES FOR LENT based on themes from people that Jesus encountered ‘on the way’ to the cross.

10.00am – 12.00pm on Saturday mornings Come and go as you please DATE March 4th

CHURCH Flitwick Methodist

March 11th

Sacred Heart Flitwick

March 18th

April 1st

Ampthill Baptist St Peter and St Paul Flitwick Ampthill Methodist

April 8th

St Andrews Ampthill

March 25th

Person/s Mary and Martha Large crowds following Jesus Ten lepers A blind man Zacchaeus The triumphal entry and the crowds

What is a prayer space? - A prayer space is simply a room set aside for people to reflect and pray. Prompts to prayer are included. People pray and reflect in different ways and respond to different kinds of inputs, whether they be pictures, craft, bible verses or something else.

However, the space is yours to use.

Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

Page 25

With Lauren Louella Boughalls Hello again to everyone! Firstly many thanks to everyone who took the trouble to have a go at last month’s picture poser and congratulations to David, Richard, Joe, Jacqueline, Russell, Brenda, Chris and everybody else who correctly identified the picture of the ruins of All Saints Church at Segenhoe, near Ridgmont.

Now for this month’s piece of photographic mischief, our intrepid photographer has again been out and about in the glorious villages and towns in Fuddlerland looking for a picture that would be a challenge and has sent us this interesting photo.

But do you recognise it and where it could be?

We are sure you will have been past on many occasions!

If you think you know drop us an email to martin@thefuddler.com Answer next month!

Receive sms

message co your booking nfirming the evening befor e you travel.

Getting you there relaxed and stress free!

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Here we delve more into the whimsical, wacky and interesting world of Montgolfier: The car in the ditch down the road has now been there for over 11 weeks. It was bright shiny black when it went in, it is now a very dull grey with traffic spray. Surely it can’t be there much longer?

Recently I stayed 3 nights in a nice hotel and was given a room with a big four poster bed. I thought if the rain comes through the ceiling I won’t get wet. I slept just the same as if it was an ordinary bed.

Someone said ‘Could you change a £15.00 note for me?’ I said as long as you don’t mind me giving you five £3.00 ones.

The largest bird we had in our last large garden was an European Eagle Owl. It was there for 1 month. You would see it sat on the fence in the morning and it was still there in the evening. It was eventually caught by its owner using a Larsen Trap.

Driving through Fuddlerland the other week I passed a Heron standing on the narrow grass verge. It was still there when I got way past. I think it must have been waiting for a bus.

Sadly there are none on that road.

I went into the Harbour shop on a Scottish island on a Tuesday morning and asked what time the morning papers came in. The shopkeeper said ‘Tomorrow night after we’ve closed if they’ve remembered to put them on the ferry. So we should have them on Thursday morning. The island was Colonsay.

Did you know that Sennight was an old fashioned word for one week? No neither did I.

Watch out for more details!

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Episode 60 ............

I Give Up So, what did I give up for Lent this year? I thought about all the usual stuff; drinking alcohol (that usually lasts a few days at most), curries (about a week), miscellaneous treats and other indulgencies (also about a week), they all fall by the wayside after a gallant but somewhat halfhearted attempt. No, this year I thought I'd not bother at all. Then on March 01st (first day of Lent) whilst introducing my new significant other to my pals in a hostelry in London, I was asked what I'd given up for Lent? I could have, and should have said nothing, but somehow, somewhat stupidly, I replied "I'm not going to let Nick wind me up during the whole of Lent". Now, I believe it was originally said in jest, but my pals, including Nick who was there too, jumped at the chance to deride and belittle this statement of intent, so much I then upped the stakes and challenged Nick to a bet, suggesting I could last the whole duration of Lent without squabbling or getting wound up by him. Nick immediately accepted, rubbed his hands excitedly and grinning said "this was going to be the most fun he'll have in winning a bet".

Whether it was my misplaced pride in front of my new lady friend, or desperation in trying to get one over on my old nemesis Nick, I have to stay calm and not get wound up or cross for forty days, until actually 16th April. It is highly expected, and most probable, that by the time you read this column, a

monetary exchange between myself and Nick will have already taken place, and the rules for a new bet between us both been put in place.

But who knows. On the way back from our drinks my partner asked "what was all that about then?" I told her about Nick's ability to push my buttons and get me into a tizzy and a confused agitated state where I normally end up losing £5 in a futile attempt to win back some self-esteem.

Somewhat ironically we were on our way to meet my Brother at our regular Indian restaurant, it was the first meeting between my friend and my Bro too, and frequent readers of this column will no doubt recall that my Brother and I have previous history of regular squabbles in this restaurant and other locations. The standard definition of a squabble is ... "a noisy quarrel about something trivial". I had pre-warned my friend that my Brother and I had these 'squabbles' and not to worry. On our departure from the restaurant my friend turned and said "well you did warn me, I just did not expect you two to fall out so quickly". I was about to reply when she giggled and added "I think you're going to lose your bet with your friend quite soon". to be continued "It has taken us two million years to elevate politics from the level of a monkey squabble, to a level comprehensible to a six year old child."

Peter J. Carroll.

As always all characters and events portrayed in this diary are real and any resemblance to real people or incidents is purely intentional.

Health Walks Wednesdays 10.30am Free, no need to book. Most walks start at Reception but some elsewhere – see notice board or ring 01234 767037.

Learning Lunchtime Monday 13 March 11am to midday Traditional and Green Woodworking.

Ed Burnett talks about and demonstrates traditional woodworking.

Free but £1 donation suggested.

Lionel Ritchie Tribute Friday 17 March 7.30pm to 10pm Malcolm Pitt returns. £15 per person, booking essential. 01234 767037, or visit Forest Centre to book.

Doors 7.30pm, Show 8pm to 10pm approx.

Volunteer Task - Millennium Country Park Saturday 18 March 10am to 4pm Meet at the Barn at Forest Centre. email anna.charles@marstonvale.org if you wish to come.

Learning Lunchtime Monday 27 March 11am to midday Birds and Wildlife of the Millennium Country Park.

Long-time Volunteer Bob Hook talks about the wildlife seen here over the years.

Free but £1 donation suggested.

Volunteer Task - Grange Estate Tuesday 28 March 10am to 3.30pm Meet in Dovecote Car Park. Email darrenwoodward@marstonvale.org or call 01234 762603.

Sunday Stroll 2 April at 10.30am A gentle walk around the Park £1, About 2 hours. Booking not required. 01234 767037.

Short led walks, all welcome.

Need to get more active? This could be just the thing for you. Walks last about an hour and a quarter (some hills).

Walk at your own pace in a friendly group.

It’s all free - just turn up.

Next walks - all start at 10.00am: 10th March 24th March

Harlington, Village hall car park Flitton, White Hart PH

For further information please contact: Lynda on 01234 740788 or at olivetree47@googlemail.com Or Laurie on 01525 403950 or at lalowe@btinternet.com or see http://ampthillhealthwalks.blogspot.co.uk

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Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com