The Fuddler March 2019

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Est. 2002

MOTHERING SUNDAY March 31st Your favourite fragrances with huge discounts! CHEESEMANS PHARMACY OF AMPTHILL Tel: 01525 402173

Greetings everyone and as always a very big welcome as always to another bright and breezy edition of your Fuddler! As always you’ll find lots of local information inside, there are a lot of stories and all the fun and nonsense you’ve come to expect!

OFFER Two Suits Drycleaned For £20 Our Many Services Include

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SERVICES NIC-EIC Registered All electrical work Testing and Certification

01525 632921 07977 173452

Sick PC or laptop? Hardware & software Diagnosis & treatment

BRADLEYS DRYCLEANERS

01525-402227

109 Dunstable Street, Ampthill, Bedford. 01525 405817 Open Mon - Fri 8.30am - 7pm ] Sat 9am - 4pm

Over 30 years’ experience Local friendly services Can undertake all aspects of building and maintenance to an exceptional standard No job too small Free & competitive quotes

Call Dave 07976 766143 or 01525 841670 dhcoxbuilding@hotmail.co.uk

ELECTRICAL

Call the Doc for -

DH Cox & Sons General Builders x

AMPTHILL

NOW OPEN EVENINGS

Specialist Drycleaning Wedding Dress cleaning Shoe Repair Key Cutting Shoe & Bag Cleaning Ironing Service

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Please also look carefully at what our advertisers are saying as you never know what you might find in The Fuddler! We hope you enjoy the edition and in the meantime a very happy Mother’s Day to all Mothers wherever they are!

john.stafford@compu-doc.co.uk

B W Deacon High Class Family Butcher

Order Now For Easter (And don’t forget Mother’s day)

Fresh legs of Lamb, Fresh legs of Pork Whole roasting Chickens Boneless Turkey Crowns And Our Mature Topside of Beef Joints ideal for all the family Available at both Ampthill and Westoning

Tel: Ampthill 01525 402175 Or Westoning 01525 712108 www.bwdeacon.co.uk

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Ampthill Glass Centre

Windows - Doors - Conservatories - Glass Merchants - Glazing Contractors Quality 12 Ampthill Business Park, Station Road, Ampthill, Bedfordshire, MK45 2QW

Telephone: 01525 403015 / 403609 Fax: 01525 402521 www.ampthillglasscentre.co.uk

Flush 100 (R9 Windows)

&ůƵƐŚ ϭϬϬ ;ZϵͿ ŽĨĨĞƌƐ ƚŚĞ ĂƉƉĞĂƌĂŶĐĞ ŽĨ Ă ƚƌĂĚŝƚŝŽŶĂů ƚŝŵďĞƌ ǁŝŶĚŽǁ͕ ƚŚĞ ϭϬϬŵŵ ĨƌĂŵĞ ĚĞƉƚŚ ĂŶĚ ĨůƵƐŚ ĐĂƐĞŵĞŶƚ ĚĞƐŝŐŶ ĐŽŵďŝŶĞ ƚŽ ŽĨĨĞƌ Ă ĐŽƐƚͲĞĨĨĞĐƚŝǀĞ ƚŝŵďĞƌ ƌĞƉůĂĐĞŵĞŶƚ͘ tŝƚŚ Ă ĐŚŽŝĐĞ ŽĨ ĚŝĨĨĞƌĞŶƚ ĐŽůŽƵƌĞĚ ĨŽŝůƐ͕ ƚƌĂĚŝƚŝŽŶĂů ƐƚLJůŝŶŐ ĂŶĚ ĨƵƌŶŝƚƵƌĞ ĂůŽŶŐ ǁŝƚŚ ŵĂŶLJ ŽƚŚĞƌ ĨĞĂƚƵƌĞƐ ĂŶĚ ďĞŶĞĨŝƚƐ͕ ĞŶƐƵƌĞ ƚŚĞ ƌĂŶŐĞ ůŽŽŬƐ ĂŶĚ ĨĞĞůƐ ůŝŬĞ ŶĂƚƵƌĂů ƚŝŵďĞƌ͘

Visit our showroom today!

Aluminium Bi-folding Doors

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ǀĂŝůĂďůĞ ŝŶ ĂŶLJ ƐŝŶŐůĞ Žƌ ĚƵĂů Z > ĐŽůŽƵƌ ŽƉƚŝŽŶ͘ &Ƶůů ƌĂŶŐĞ ŽĨ ƐƵŝƚĞĚ ŚĂƌĚǁĂƌĞ͘ ,ŝŐŚ ƐĞĐƵƌŝƚLJ ŚŝŶŐĞƐ ĂŶĚ ůŽĐŬŝŶŐ ŵĞĐŚĂŶŝƐŵƐ ĂƐ ƐƚĂŶĚĂƌĚ͘ /ŶƚĞƌŶĂůůLJ ďĞĂĚĞĚ ǁŝƚŚ Ă ƐŽĨƚůŝŶĞ ƐĂƐŚ͘

No window or glazing job too small. Put your trust in a company that has been trading for over 40 years! For all your window, doors and conservatory needs call us now or visit our website.

Don’t forget - if you have missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com


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Do You Want To Feel Like NEW Again? Book Your:

@acgmassage acgmassage.co.uk

Sports & Remedial Massage Deep Tissue Massage Kinesiology Taping Cupping

Call Kelly Marie today for a free quote All aspects of tree and gardening work carried out Weeding, Digging, Pruning, Grass Cutting, Hedges Trimmed, Trees Pruned, Jungles Cleared and all rubbish taken away Please Call:

Many More Treatments Available..

A.C.G MASSAGE Call Alfie to book your home visit 07861 198696

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March 21st Aspley Village Hall Arguably the most dramatic and influential post-Renaissance artist Caravaggio was born in Milan in 1571. The title of the talk being presented at the Hall is “Caravaggio – murderer or genius”. There is no doubt he was a genius – he painted with direct spontaneity – no preparatory cartoons - and he painted with entirely realistic observations of the human state. His dramatic use of lighting, his “chiaroscuro”, is known to have influenced Rubens and Rembrandt and later painters up to this day. His paintings frequently catch the moment – they are like photographs. He had a tempestuous character, was thought to have been directly implicated in at least two deaths and was the reason for his frequent moves from state to state as Italy was divided at that time. Not many more than 40 of his paintings survive. Ms Julia Musgrave is our speaker. She got her first degree in Chemical engineering before switching to Art and as an Art Historian has a graduate diploma in Art History and an MLitt in “Art, Style and Design”. She lectures at the City Literary Institute. Her lecture will follow the dramatic incidents of the artist Caravaggio’s life and looks at why and how his influence spread so far. The Arts Society Woburn Area Thursday March 21st Aspley Guise at 7.30 p.m. Non-members welcome £7.50.

Next meeting - Tuesday March 19th at 2.30pm in the Addison Centre, Kempston, Bedford. Plenty of parking space available. "John Greening, Poet" John introduces a selection of his poems, and shows how they have been shaped by particular places, from the Pyramids of Giza to the Cardington Sheds. There will be a small charge for entry. Everyone welcome.

For more information contact Betty Thomas on 01480 860 421 Meet at ARA club Manton Lane Bedford MK41 7PF. Thursday 21st March at 7.30 pm Ben Macdonald, conservation writer and wildlife television researcher presents, ‘Rebirding: Restoring our birds and rewilding our landscapes’. Suitable for Experts and Novices, RSPB membership not essential. Entrance fee, group members £1 Guest £2 annual group membership £5. Reg. Charity No. 207076, more info www.rspb.org.uk/groups/ bedford Artists Network Beds invites you to an Art Exhibition in Poplars Garden Centre Learning Zone on Saturday 30 and Sunday 31 March from 10.30-5 each day A wide range of paintings and 3D artwork will be on show throughout the weekend. Come along and meet some of our artists. Everyone will be very welcome.

FOR ALL YOUR SECURITY REQUIREMENTS ProControl+ The ProControl+ is an innotive two-way wireless technology. No wires so ideal for newly decorated houses or listed buildings

JCA SECURITY SYSTEMS LTD Intruder Alarms CCTV Systems & Complete Maintenance agreements available

Supply & Installation of security systems for your home or business Upgrades including Additional Detectors, Remote Monitoring, Apps & Wireless Remotes

T: 01582 493283 / 07785 112580 Beds 09

CCTV Systems

or email: carruthersjca@yahoo.co.uk

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LORD DEE’S PONDERINGS

Things have been absolutely marvellous on the estate with the recent glorious weather. The water feature looks a picture, the ovine creatures are cleaned and polished, the maze is looking ship shape, just a little more work to be done on the eastern terrace and we will be ready for the first visitors of Spring. Ciao

A BRIANISM (With fond memories)

If there’s one thing I like more than beer, then I haven’t discovered it.

When the time comes to say goodbye Talk to Pam Woods Civil Funeral Celebrant for a service that reflects only your own beliefs and wishes. 01234 742 3 07515282755 pamwoods55@gmail.com

Across: 1 Tabard, 4 Cackle, 7 Pragmatic, 9 Flee, 10 Coho, 11 Deign, 13 Endear, 14 Earned, 15 Octets, 17 Hatred, 19 Steed, 20 Aeon, 22 Oats, 23 Nosferatu, 24 Rankle, 25 Social

Down: 1 Trifle, 2 Acre, 3 Dagger, 4 Charge, 5 Chic, 6 Enfold, 7 Perdition, 8 Cointreau, 11 Darts, 12 Naiad, 15 Orator, 16 Stifle, 17 Hearts, 18 Dismal, 21 Nook, 22 Otic

Experienced and reliable, no job too small. Completing all those jobs you’ve been meaning to do from doors to floors and much more. For your free quotation please call 07814 679337 or email ben_woodcraft10@hotmail.com

“The Fuddler” is published by MDA Publications. The views expressed herein are not necessarily those of the publisher. No part of this publication may be copied in any form or by any means without written permission of the Publisher. Copyright MDA Publications.

Like to book an ad, or ask about our absurdly low rates please ring Martin on

Or if you prefer, drop us an email to martin@thefuddler.com

Delivering a local service for local people for over 25 years

Linka

Ride

Enquiries 01525 840511 We can assist with journeys to:

Headway MS Centre Appointments including doctors, dentists, physio etc Social visits to friends and family Shopping Hairdressers Garden centres Coffee shops Pub lunches

Link-A-Ride Community Transport offer a bespoke door-2-door service, for those who find it difficult to access public transport, through disability, illness, those who are elderly and frail, and those who may live in rural locations. We have regular day trips which are a great way to get out and meet new friends. If you would like to know more about our services and how to join, please contact us on

01525 840511 ALSO AVAILABLE FOR PRIVATE HIRE.

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DEREK G STORY

LET US BE A PART OF YOUR SUCCESS STORY In order to provide the best possible advice, first we like to get to know you. If you would like a free no obligation introduction meeting to discuss your accountancy and tax planning needs, then get in touch today and we’ll arrange to meet with you.

CALL OR EMAIL DEREK STORY TODAY ON: +44 (0)7790 672 699 / DEREK_STORY@YAHOO.CO.UK

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Est 1965 Electrical Contractor Domestic and Industrial Rewires & Fuseboard upgrades

Your local Electrical Contractor All types of testing and certification undertaken PAT testing & Landlords

FREE QUOTATIONS NICEIC Approved Contractor over 25 Years 11 Cedar Close, Ampthill, Bedford, MK45 2UD

07702 080623 Tel & Fax: 01525 714057 2

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Sandra’s been busy again looking through her big book of words (dictionary?) and brings us the word below. (Nothing to do with the crossword.) Just look at the hexagon and see whether or not the word jumps out at you! (Answer at the bottom of the page if it doesn’t!)

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Here’s another of Marjorie’s fine crosswords for our entertainment Across: Down: 1 Car mat (anag) (6) 1 Cracking! (6) 4 Notwithstanding (6) 2 Make fast a boat (4) 7 Illicit liquor (9) 3 Opposite (6) 9 Layer (4) 4 Horrified (6) 10 Emanate (4) 5 Scourge (4) 11 Forcibly seize (5) 6 Hard dental deposit (6) 13 Fear (6) 7 Sweet-sounding (9) 14 Bank employee (6) 8 Moisturiser (9) 15 Show clearly (6) 11 Grimace (5) 17 Dream of (6) 12 Curt (5) 19 Run away to wed (5) 15 Commence (6) 20 Cloud (4) 16 Large antelopes (6) 22 Mosquito (4) 17 Greek God (6) 23 Sleepy (9) 18 Perpetuate (6) 24 Small hills (6) 21 Register (4) 25 Deposed (6) 22 Wildebeests (4)

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Flitwick Pet Services We care for your pets while you’re at work or on holiday Countryside walks Home boarding Puppy care Canine first aid trained Day care Police checked/fully insured Secure transportation

Pat Eldin Carpentry, Joinery and Building Services

07768 008951

www.flitwickpetservices.co.uk or find us on facebook

01462 812242

07379 690824 / 01525 635465

pateldinbarbel@hotmail.co.uk

Don’t forget - if you have missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

Doubtless

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ABOUT BLUE SPEAR...

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John Dearman - Bonds Homes 'We have been using Bobby from Blue Spear Cars for many years, as the service he provides is exceptional and great value. We have and would recommend him to anyone looking for professional taxi service'

TO DISCUSS YOUR TRANSPORT REQUIREMENTS CALL BLUE SPEAR : 01525 839333

Airport Transfers - Events - Special Occasion - Business Travel - Chauffeuring When responding to an advert please say you found it in The Fuddler!


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With The Duchess of Troll Reflections in the Dewpond.

‘The No 200 Bus’

36 Dunstable Street, Ampthill Telephone 01525 634857 3500+ Ales from April 2010 THE PERMANENT BEER FEST SOUTH BEDS CAMRA PUB OF THE YEAR 2014 A very big thank you from Russell for all your kind messages of support! Together with Josh and the rest of his team he is now planning a series of events which will be taking place during the Spring and Summer!

Please keep your eyes peeled for more details. Ampthill Writers’ Group meet at The Albion, first Wednesday of every Month 8pm You can now see us on Facebook You can’t B&T it!

CAMRA BEDS PUB OF THE YEAR 2013 OUR OTHER PUBS ARE: The Globe, Winfield Street, Dunstable (Bedfordshire Pub of the year 2010) - Tel: 01582 512300 The Wellington Arms, Wellington Street, Bedford (North Beds Pub of the year 2010) - Tel: 01234 308033 The Elm Tree, Orchard Street, Cambridge - Tel: 01223 502632 The Brewery Tap, North Bridge Street, Shefford Tel: 01462 628448

www.banksandtaylor.com

The bus route that meanders through the secret Bedfordshire countryside between the hills of Barton Le Clay to Biggleswade in the rich growing fields, rich hedgerows, and following the lazy passage of the River Flit, hidden at times by village houses. This land, the rich river-gravel soil, the market gardeners for centuries producing food for locals and the big cities, transporting by horse and cart to local towns, gave a living to many, when the railway came even more needed to be grown to go to the London Markets. Farmers prospered, as did transport carriers, makers of vegetable boxes, all shapes and sizes, to suit the needs of the growers. As the Five Old Boys and the Mrs Sam passed fields that once grew the vegetables, now growing wheat, sadness of once busy fields, needing local people to harvest the ready crops by hand. Ten Acre knew only too well of the back breaking work, his gnarled, lined hands a testament to his hard work, as he told, many times, all weather's, all daylight hours. As with many of his generation despite the conditions, he was a gentle man, happy with his lot, just to have a job and a cottage, life itself to him. Times change the friends agreed, have to accept that food can be grown abroad cheaper, transported here or to those London Markets. Wondering if it will turn back and the land grows food again. The Mrs Sam told of a grower she knows the land has sold, by his son's, for housing. So good growing land will be growing houses instead. As in parts of Bedfordshire houses are built, while underneath the ground lie seams of London Clay, for

Don’t forget - if you have missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

making bricks, we now import bricks. The next bit of the route twisted and turned into Southhill, it's narrow lanes, just as when house and carts were the latest mode of transport. This is called the pretty route, and so it is, country pubs, and tearooms, cricket pitches, playing fields, village school, red pillar boxes, and the iconic red phone box. The Old Boys were head twisting to see picturesque cottages and large farmhouses, almost too much to see. There is the return journey, everything always looks different on the way back. The village outskirts has tree plantations and a new lake is maturing. In the Spring the old woods are full of Bluebells, primroses, every corner that the road twists more flower treasures. Some lanes have had trees cut down be interesting to see what plants reappear. Whatever time of the year you catch the No 200 Bus there are surprises en route. Watch out for ancient planes taking to the air from Old Warden Airfield, also known as Biggleswade Airfield, on flying days, often can be glimpsed flying around the area on non flying days too. Shame the bus route doesn't go there. The Shuttleworth Collection is well worth a visit. There is nothing better than watching the cricket on the Green at Ickwell on a sunny summer's day, enjoying a picnic under the trees. Lovely! All the Five Friends and the Mrs Sam smiling at the memories. The big house is not open to the public on the Southhill Estate. The family house of the Whitbreads, many have served the county over the generations as High Sherriff of Bedfordshire. The next village is Broom, as pretty as a picture. D.O.T.


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Free, no obligation surveys this month

Visit the showroom to book 1 Bedford Street, Ampthill, Beds Tel: 01525 841199 www.ampthillfireplaces.co.uk Mon - Fri: 10am - 5pm Sat: 10am - 4pm When responding to an advert please say you found it in The Fuddler!


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NEWPAPER DELIVERERS REQUIRED IN THE AMPTHILL/MAULDEN AREA

Need to be 13 years old or above. For more information please contact

McColl’s Convenience Store 17 Church Street, Ampthill 01525 404096

With Jimmy The Voice This month JTV has got his compass and pencil out and has drawn these shapes which he has kindly sent to us - but he reckons the lines are the same length ,,,

... but we reckon the top one is the longer of the two. But, what do you think?

OUTSIDE BAR AVAILABLE FOR ALL OCCASIONS Weddings, parties Ͳ you name it! Please call 079012 090023 email: j.harrisjjp@gmail.com

By Julio Van Peebles Julio’s worries and useless facts: 1) Would a shop selling second hand bicycles be a recycle shop? 2) Did you know that on average we spend 26 years of our lives asleep? 3) Why does global warming make everywhere colder? 4) Did you know that singer Chesney Hawkes’ Dad was in the Tremeloes? 5) Has anyone ever been caught doing something wrong and when they looked down their hands had turned red? Julio’s interesting ‘Pie’ fact: Did you know that an old name for a pie filled with chopped or minced innards was called Umble pie?

Birthday Greetings Dan for the 28th March

As always - a very Happy Birthday to ‘Beanie’ for the 17th March Happy Birthday Flo for the 22nd March

Congratulations to ‘The Smithies’ on their Wedding Anniversary on the 31st March Happy birthday to Jim on March 20th With all our love on your special day Sue, Rich & of course …. Boris xxxxxx

Maulden Garage Ltd FOR ALL YOUR VEHICLE NEEDS Modern Classic or Vintage Repairs, Servicing, Breakdowns, Fabrication, Tyres, Exhausts Classic Rally Car Preparation and on event service support Unit 10 Woodside Clophill Road Maulden Beds MK45 2AE www.mauldengarage.co.uk mauldengarage@btconnect.com

01525 862877 Free local delivery and collection service

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T.H.E. BEST BUTCHERS

What do Accountants do for fun? Add up the telephone book!

* INTERESTING RANGE OF SPECIALITY SAUSAGES

www.bestbutcher.co.uk

Unit 5, Lower Rectory Farm, Great Brickhill, Milton Keynes, Bucks MK17 9AF

A VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO WENDY FOR THE 1st APRIL!! Thought for the month: Don’t look where you fall, but where you slipped.

Congratulations to Mr ‘Honky Tonk’ and Lis on their Wedding Anniversary on the 1st April!

with Auntie Vi The older we get, the fewer things seem worth queuing up for.

Accounts, Payroll, Bookkeeping, Tax, Business Advice ... and much more. Ring to book a free, noͲobligation meeting today! 114 High Street, Cranfield, Beds, MK43 0DG Tel: 01234 752566 Email: info@vowles.co.uk www.vowles.co.uk

Some people can be like clouds. When they disappear it is a beautiful day. I wish I had more self-esteem, but I don’t deserve it. I’m giving up with this new shampoo. It says it gives you extra body. My friend’s husband is so silly that he drew a picture of Earth and put the ground underneath it. After all is said and done, an awful lot more is said than done. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes. If only we’d stop trying to be happy we’d have a pretty good time. I was a vegetarian until I started leaning towards the sunlight. Experience is that marvellous thing that enables you to recognise a mistake when you make it again. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses. Rule of life: the night you can’t be bothered to go out, your hair will be looking too good to stay in. Is it possible to be a closet claustrophobic?

Guttering Problems?

1. In which year was the novel ‘Ivanhoe’ written? 2. By which name was ‘Ernest Evans’ better known? 3. What sort of animal is a ‘Swedish Landrace’? 4. Who fought ‘The Earp Brothers’ at the OK Coral? 5. If you suffered from ‘Sitophobia’ what would you fear? 6. Where would you come across the term ‘Overcall’? 7. A ‘Quiver’ is the collective term for which creature? 8. Who wrote the novel ‘The Professor’? 9. Which is the 1st country in the world to see the sunrise? 10.In which Dickensian novel would you meet ‘Isaac List’? 1 1819, 2 Chubby Checker, 3 Pig, 4 The Clantons, 5 Food, 6 Bridge game, 7 Cobra, 8 Charlotte Brontë, 9 New Zealand, 10 The Old Curiosity Shop

Telephone (01908) 375275

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Bradnam Guttering

All electrical work undertaken email: supaspark@tiscali.co.uk

When responding to an advert please say you found it in The Fuddler!


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Don’t forget - if you have missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com


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When responding to an advert please say you found it in The Fuddler!


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Once again here are some more splendid photos of The Fuddler enjoying its voyage around the world! On the left this month we have Mike with his copy in Grand Cayman and below is Patrick with his Fuddler deep in the heart of Zambia’s Lower Zambezi region! Many thanks for those and if you are going away don’t forget to pack your Fuddler too! Please send your photos of a Fuddler being read away from home to martin@thefuddler.com

Beer n o ditati Accre

In addition to our weekly specials and fantastic Sunday Roasts we are pleased to offer ... Available now ... Takeaway Menu Our Freshly Cooked Food in your own home!!! (Collection only) Menu on our website 'Fish Supper Friday' Battered Cod, Wholetail Scampi or Fishcakes served with all the trimmings. (Eat in or Takeaway)

Dates for the diary ... 1st February - 16th March 'Guinness Six Nations Rugby' (All England Matches on a Big Screen) Tasty Bar Snacks available before, during & after.

at Maulden Garden Centre on the A507 near A6 at Clophill

Friday 15th March

Live Music with JOJO & THE MOJO’S

BOOKINGS NOW BEING TAKEN FOR MOTHER’S DAY 31st MARCH

(drive safe - turn at roundabout)

It’s time to get growing so visit us now for your .... x

Food served 12 Ͳ 6pm Please see our website for full menu

Seasonal and hardy plants for Pots, Baskets and garden

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Vegetable seeds and plants

Serving food 7 days a week

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Hanging Baskets and pots

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Composts, fertilisers and tools and helpful advice - “just ask”

(Until 9.00pm Monday to Saturday and 12.00 to 6.00pm Sunday)

To Book call 01525 280565

The White Horse, 1 Mill Road, Husborne Crawley, Bedford, Mk43 0XE www.whitehorsehusbornecrawley.squarespace.com whitehorsehc@gmail.com.

Telephone: 01525 861696 Postcode: MK45 2GP

Don’t forget - if you have missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com


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Well, well, well, soon Mother’s day will be here, A special day, one we all hold dear. After recently losing my mum, this day will not be fun, She meant so much to me, she was always there for me. Not just a mum and a friend - it's so sad her life had to end. So mum this one is for you, And I will keep this poem as you always did do. So to everyone out there - please celebrate this day And show our mums how much we do really care. So now in store our Mother's day cards are already here And many gifts out on display with Mother’s day signs to make them clear. So whatever you decide to get, to all the mums we won't forget. Also in store there's other things going on I would like to let you know, We are also helping the mums and children in Ghana did you know. Many mums and children die They just don't have things like you and I. So we are collecting any clothing, towels, and any toys Any age for girls and boys. Cleaning products they also require And shower gels, shampoo they would desire. How is the stuff getting there you would like to know My sister will be taking it when they're ready to go. She is part of a charity with a group of people that go over there, And she helps train and supports with nursing care. So if you can help in any way Please let's us know, we are open most of the day. Well I think that's it from me I'm done, So to all of you go have some fun, And happy Mother's day to every mum .......

MCCOLL’S YOUR LOCAL CONVENIENCE STORE 17 CHURCH STREET AMPTHILL TEL: 01525 404096 OPEN: MON-SAT 6AM TO 8PM SUNDAY 7AM TO 8PM

GOLD AWARD WINNERS

2016/17 Best UK Pizza Restaurant

FINALISTS Best Team 2017 Pasta Chef 2017 2018 Pizza Chef 2018

OPEN FOR LUNCH ON MOTHER’S DAY All your favourites plus a special menu for Mum too! Please see our Facebook page or ring for details OPENING TIMES: Monday evening 6.00 Ͳ 9.00 Tuesday to Friday lunchtime 12.00 Ͳ 2.00 Tuesday to Thursday evening 6.00 Ͳ 10.00 Friday and Saturday evening 6.00 Ͳ 11.00 www.donatellospizzeria.co.uk

91, Dunstable Street Ampthill Tel: (01525) 404666 Free parking available

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Ben Keenan

HUMAN GIVENS THERAPIST MHGI. HG Dip. (Dist) PSA. Public Standards Authority Accredited Register

The world of counselling/psychotherapy is a very different place to what it was even ten years ago! Neurological science has provided insights that when combined with the best of other approaches provides a fast and effective solution focused therapy (SFBT) that is embodied in Human Givens. Treatment does not just mean sitting and endlessly talking, it is also about effectively understanding the issues and providing lasting realistic change. Therapy thoughts Our imagination is a problem solving tool. It gives us the ability to observe difficulties from multiple perspectives to find solutions. If however we can find no solution or way forward we can begin ruminating playing scenarios over and over in our mind. To our brains this represents repeated arousal that needs to be discharged. Our means of doing this is through REM sleep. Our sleep is divided between slow wave restorative sleep and REM sleep to discharge our unmet arousals of the day. REM sleep uses a huge amount of energy and can exhaust us if periods of REM sleep expand as a result of too much ruminating. We go to bed and wake up exhausted which can sometimes trigger the cycle of depression. Understanding this process and its causes enables Human Givens therapists to provide fast effective drug free treatment to a large majority of people suffering from depression.

Ben Keenan Ͳ 07860 195303 or email: therapyinbedforshire@outlook.com www.therapyinbedfordshire.co.uk Advert funded by BKPH Ltd

T Butlin Building and Plastering Est 1987

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Over 30 years in business For your extensions, renovations, alterations, Upvc fascias / soffitts, guttering, block paving and all plastering including artex ceilings and walls plastered back to flat.

07778 680393 email: timbutlin@hotmail.co.uk

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Impressions Female decorators All aspects of painting and decorating. With female finesse to make the most of your home

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email:sophiebutlin@hotmail.co.uk

All About Us .... Have you wanted to paint but lacked the confidence or are you an experienced artist who wants to experiment with a new and exciting medium? Then visit the friendly, helpful Houghton Conquest Art Society. We produce an extensive yearly programme of art techniques ranging from pastels, watercolour, pen & ink, pencil, clay modelling, acrylic paint/inks, paper making, lino printing, calligraphy, portraits, plaster casts and printing. The evenings consist of a basic demonstration with a hands-on approach so it is possible to gain experience and also produce a piece of art. We also have Saturday Workshops. The “Big Paint” is where we enlarge a famous painting and divide it into sections to copy, then the sections are joined together like a jigsaw. We meet on the 1st & 3rd Wednesday of every month from 7.30pm to 9.30pm at Houghton Conquest Village Hall. Individual annual Membership is £20, £35 for a married couple and £10 for a junior. On Sunday May 5th 2019 we hold an Art Exhibition and sale of work in the village hall and the Tea Room serves delicious refreshments. Full details and dates of our programme and events are on our website www.houghon-conquest-art-society.co.uk. where you will also find details of who to contact to get involved or find out more.

Maydencroft Limited is working with the Greensand Country Landscape Partnership (GCLP) to administer the Living Heaths Working Woodlands Grant Scheme. The grant scheme aims to create, restore and manage important habitats within Greensand Country (Leighton Buzzard to Gamlingay) to form a robust ecological network. Eligible habitats can include woodland, heathland, acid grassland, neutral grassland and hedgerows, and the funding scheme is open to all manner of landowners and sites including farms, estates, woodlands, and parks. Grants range from £1,000 to £15,000, covering up to 70% of the project’s total cost with the rest to be secured by match funding. The application window is currently open with the aim for all projects to be delivered in 2019-20 and completed by December 2020. For further information or to discuss project ideas, please contact Lottie Miles of Maydencroft Limited on 01462 420851 or lottie.miles@maydencroft.co.uk, or visit our website at www.maydencroft.co.uk

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16 Tavistock Avenue, Ampthill, Bedford. MK45 2RY

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Page 17

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Page 18

FREE PRESCRIPTION DELIVERY Our prescription service means you can have your repeat prescription dispensed and delivered hassle free! FREE DELIVERY TO YOUR DOOR The NHS Electronic Prescription Service allow Doctors to send your prescription to us at Cheeseman’s Pharmacy. We will then dispense your repeat prescription and deliver to your address. We cover/deliver around Ampthill, Clophill, Flitwick, Houghton Conquest, Marston Moretaine, Maulden, Silsoe, Stewartby, Wilstead and Wixams. TO REGISTER OR FOR MORE INFORMATION CALL US NOW ON 01525 402173

CHEESEMANS PHARMACY OF AMPTHILL Tel: 01525 402173

Garage Door Solutions Ltd Your local garage door expert for:

Replacements, Repairs and Spares x All makes & designs available x 24 Hour repair service x No call out charge x All work guaranteed x Free quotations Call us now on: 01525 721615 / 07761 093468 Website: www.garagedoorsolutionsltd.co.uk Or see the yellow pages

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The Month of March - with Henrietta Wainsworth. March is a month for looking forward as winter gives way to spring on the 21st and well known are dates such as St David’s day on the 1st; the Ides of March on the 15th and St Patrick’s day on the 17th but, what of some other less well know historical dates that have taken place in March? Here are just a few. The field of aviation has a place of importance for on the 2nd 1969, Concorde the Anglo-French supersonic airliner made its maiden voyage and on the 5th 1936, the Spitfire made its first test flight from Eastleigh, Southampton On the 7th 1876 Alexander Graham Bell patented the telephone. I wonder what he would make of the communication systems of today. Our canine friends were honoured on the 10th 1886 when Charles Cruft first established what would become the great event of dog breeder’s year. It was called ‘The First Great Terrier Show’ but it was not until 1891 that the show was given the name ‘Crufts’. So began the pampering of the pooch for the gratification of adoring owners. On 16th 1872, The Wanderers beat the Royal Engineers 1-0 at Kennington Oval in the first ever English FA Cup final The ‘Glorious Game’ has been at the heart of British sport ever since. Ironically on the 19th1649, The House of Commons passed an act abolishing the House of Lords, because it was considered ‘useless and dangerous to the people of England’. Umn, pot, kettle black, springs to mind in this present political climate - (no letters to the editor please!) On a more emotional note, on the 23rd 1956 HM The Queen laid the foundation stone of the new and very modern cathedral being built in Coventry next to the ruins of the 14th century cathedral which was destroyed by the German Luftwaffe in 1940 Much to Hitler’s fury (tough), at 10pm on 30th 1944,the first Allied prisoners crawled out of the tunnel into the snow but just short of the line of trees around the German prisoner of war camp Stalag Luft 111 at the start of the courageous ‘Great Escape.’ Who can ever forget the wonderful character Hilts played by Steve McQueen in the film of the same name. On the 30th 1912 both Oxford and Cambridge boats sank in the annual Boat Race making Father Thames the victor before the race was run again a few days later. Let’s hope they have better luck this year. I find it quite eerie that the race took place and both boats sunk, only a few days before of the sinking of the Titanic. On 31st 1889 the Eiffel Tower was opened but not without controversy. Many of the French intellectual establishment hated the idea and though ti would be ‘a hate column of bolted sheet metal’ but the celebrated bridge-maker, Gustave Eiffel stuck to his guns and the tower was an instant hit and within the first week alone around 30,000 people climbed to the top. The old saying goes, March ‘comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb’ but writing this on an unusually balmy February day surely the ‘jury must remain out’ on this one. © Henrietta Wainsworth

01525 405393 07889 058345

Congratulations and a very Happy Birthday to Fred for the 19th March!

Now would be a great time to book your advert in the next edition of The Fuddler! For more details please email martin@thefuddler.com or ring 07530 869 365 Don’t forget - if you have missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com


Page 19

When is an Alarm a False Alarm? The Muscovy Ducks were a rule unto themselves, one minute chasing people, and causing upset, amongst the rest of the animals, then sitting in the Sun in the paws of the old English Sheepdog. Two moments in their lives were never the same. One winter's night the noise of the quacking of the ducks awoke the household. Downstairs to investigate. By now the chickens and the rest of the flock were joining in. In those days, the traffic noise and heavy trains thundering by, lighter than today. Then you could hear a further distance than today. With a big torch, Sam Ilex treading lightly made his way to the henhouse to check why the disturbance had occurred. Everything fine. Nothing about, no Fox no cat, no dog. Looking down the yard, everything looked fine. The office door locked, the stores door the same. Back upstairs, nothing to worry about, no one about. Just settling back to sleep, the noise began once more. Up once more, Sam Ilex, big torch in hand retraced his steps. Checking the hens, rabbits, ducks, all unsettled. No Fox about, no dog, no cat. No one down the office or stores. Back up the house by now cold. The Mrs Sam suggested a cup of tea. Great idea. Back upstairs, nothing to worry about. Just settling back to sleep, the noise returned. Not again. The quiet suddenly came. Thank goodness. To sleep, to dream!! Next morning it became clear that the ducks knew best , the stores had been broken into. We should have known that Nature Knows Best. D.O.T.

POTENTIAL DEVELOPMENT LAND WANTED If you have land that you think may be suitable for development for one house or one hundred houses give us a call and we will be pleased to come round and give you our opinion at no charge and without any obligation. It might be the best call you make this year. HUNTERHILL ESTATES Ltd 01234 766271 & 07786 038906 hunterhillestate@btinternet.com

EN E S V! T S A N O

SUNDAY LUNCHTIME NIBBLES You are invited to enjoy your Sunday lunchtime drink with more bar snacks than you could shake a stick at, and all with Richard’s compliments!

‘TOAD IN THE HOLE’ PLAYERS WANTED! If you would like to join our new league to play in this good old fashioned English bar game please come in and see Richard. It’s all starting soon. ‘Foozball’ also played here! Come and see!

THIS MONTH’S CHESS PUZZLE Now can you help us with this one? As usual it’s white to play and checkmate is achieved in just two moves. But can you see how? If you can - please pop in and tell us and whilst you are here enjoy a beer!

Sunday 17th March Come and help us celebrate St Patrick’s Day! There’s bound to be some music, plenty of Guinness and we’ll be inviting you to try the Landlord’s Irish Stew to raise money for the charity PTSD.

Sunday 31st March - Mother’s Day For something different - why not bring Mum in

for a delicious homemade cheese scone? WEDNESDAY QUIZ FROM 8.00pm Our highly popular quiz starts each Wednesday at 8.00 sharp. There’s no charge and we can probably even find you a pencil! We have a regular guest quizmaster each week including H & Miri, Malcolm, JVP and many others - if you would like to be a quizmaster please speak to Richard and add your name to the rota! Everyone welcome

When responding to an advert please say you found it in The Fuddler!


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KINGS ARMS PATH GARDENS, AMPTHILL These beautiful gardens are open on the last Sunday of the month from January until October from 2.30 until 5.00pm Adults £1.00 admission under 16’s free Plants for sale. Refreshments available.

FARMERS MARKET

The Farmers Market in Woburn is held on the third Sunday of every month from 10.00 - 2.00 at The Pitchings in the village.

Don’t forget The Charter Market in Ampthill every Thursday and Flitwick Market on Fridays!

With The Imp

Thanks again Imp

By Henry Flagstaff Gladys was busy catching up on her cross-stitch, the cat was asleep on the chair so as the weather had turned warmer I nipped off up to the library to see that I could find. I found myself drawn to an exciting looking tome called ‘A Legacy of Spies’ by John le Carré which seemed to need reading. The plot concerned a member of the British Secret Service being summoned from retirement to London. The

reason? His Cold War past had come back to claim him. As it said on the fly ‘interweaving past with present so that each may tell its own story, John le Carré has given us a novel of superb and entreating quality.’ Rushing to get back to the wing back, I poured a goodly measure of malt and commenced reading. If truth be told I had to reread a couple of pages as I got a bit lost in the narrative but what a fabulous read!

Happy Birthday to Julian for the 8th!

Don’t forget - if you have missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

Hello everybody! I am not an actress but you will see me very regularly on your television screens with news of high pressures, low pressures, isobars what the Gulf Stream is up to and a whole lot more! (And that’s a clue.) Answer at the foot of the page.

Lucy Verasamy ITV Weather

1. ‘It takes me days to wake up in the morning’ 2. ‘They cook Haggis in the sheep’s stomach.’ 3. ‘Is Somerset in Devon?’ 4. ‘I played the recorder in the choir.’ 5. ‘That was your fame to claim.’ 6. ‘They came from behind to win 2-0.’ 7. ‘I'm going for a face manicure.’ 8. ‘Are there sharks in the Channel tunnel?’ 9. ‘I usually work all over Europe and Greece,’


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An Afternoon “In Concert” with the

With Lauren Louella Boughalls

Hello again everyone and welcome to this month’s pictorial poser! Firstly very many thanks to everybody who had a go the photograph from last month. Well done if you correctly identified the water pump at Steppingley, and many thanks to the reader who sent us the picture. Now this month another of our readers has been kind enough to send us this delightful old photograph of a rustic scene in Fuddlerland - and thank you so much for sending it in and sharing it with us. But do you recognise it and where it might be?

Vauxhall Male Voice Choir

+ + + PLUS + + +

Special Guest Artiste

Matt Quick (Trombone) ts Ticke 0 £10.0 en r d l Chi 2) r1 (Unde

FREE

If you think you know drop us an email to martin@thefuddler.com Answer next month!

Parkside Hall

Woburn Street, Ampthill MK45 2HX

Saturday 9 March 2019 2:30pm (doors open 2:00pm)

Refreshments available during interval

Tickets available from Ken Jones 01525-753110 or Brian Matthews 01525-841077 or on the door Choir Website: www.vmvc.org

THE WINGFIELD CLUB 37 Church St, Ampthill, MK45 2PL (01525) Bar - 403321 Office - 841736 thewingfieldclub@tiscali.co.uk

DATES FOR YOUR DIARY

6 NATIONS RUGBY

6 large HD screens showing all main sporting events

Supreme pool table and spacious darts area

All games shown live on our big screen projector Complimentary food with England games

Large car park for members

Saturday 30th March

Private parties catered for

Come and join in the entertainment with

Meeting rooms available

DYLAN’S KARAOKE 8.00pm onwards

Competitively priced Drinks

NEW MEMBERS WELCOME Please fully complete a membership form and hand the money to The Bar staff, Your New Membership card will be posted to your address.

Sunday Meat Raffle & Members Tote

2019 MEMBERSHIP NOW AVAILABLE FROM THE BAR

New Members Welcome

When responding to an advert please say you found it in The Fuddler!


Page 22

Here we delve more into the whimsical, wacky and interesting world of Montgolfier: Driving out of the central car park of a nearby town I noticed that I drove over 18 speed bumps to get out of town. When I joined the forces I was given a new rifle and after ten and a half months of firing thousands upon thousands of bullets the armourer checked my rifle out. He said is was completely worn out and it was a wonder the bullets didn’t do somersaults down the barrel. I got a new rifle. If you wish to get married in Litchfield Cathedral apparently you can do so but you have to hire it for the day. I know a couple from the West Country who are doing just that at a cost for the day of £30,000. Going to a house in Fuddlerland they have two very large dogs who bark just enough to let their owners know that someone has arrived. Then you can put your hand over the gate and stroke them. They are Rhodesian Ridgebacks. I have never seen any before and I think they are lovely. Why do we put an ‘X’ for a kiss? Well lovers years ago used to kiss the bottom of the page before putting the letter in the envelope and mark the spot with an ‘X’. The person receiving it would kiss the spot before opening it. I love travelling and have done 30 countries including sailing all round South America, I have been on 39 islands from Falklands to Shetlands. One island I was dropped on from a fishing boat was uninhabited. I was with a group of 11 others doing Archaeology on a 2,000 year old earth house. The weather was foul, we were left for 2 weeks but it was 3 weeks before a boat came and collected us.

A very Happy Birthday to Andy for March 13th

NOW OPEN The Bedford Phoenix Angling Club held their end of season fishing match at Stevington and Pat Eldin retained the Series Winners Shield! Pictured are those hardy anglers plus, of particular interest to Fuddler readers, you will notice Steve with his copy of The Fuddler! Just goes to show The Fuddler is read everywhere!!

ARE YOU WORKING FROM HOME?

Why not place an economical ad like this in The Fuddler and let everyone know what you do?

Just email all the details to martin@thefuddler.com

Come and discover Ampthill’s rich history and learn about the towns association with Henry VIII and why Kit Williams chose the town as the hiding place for the treasure of his 1979 book Masquerade. The museum occupies part of the top floor of Ampthill Fireplaces showroom in Bedford Street and is open 6 days a week. Admission is free

‘Possibly the smallest museum in the world’

Don’t forget - if you have missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com


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Episode 71 ........ Trains, Planes & Automobiles (and boats) Pt. 1 Anglesey Last Christmas I bought my lady friend a 2019 calendar which depicted coastal views around mainland Britain. January's picture was of a lighthouse in Anglesey. In a moment of madness I suggested that we should visit each month's location and try to capture an image as close as possible to the one on the calendar. This would be a great way of visiting areas of Britain that I, and my lady friend had probably not previously visited. Plus, it would be a little longweekend jolly each month. As I mentioned above, January's location was on the Isle of Anglesey, where neither of us had been before. Adding to the excitement and un-expectation to the adventure, was the factor that neither she or I drove. The subject of the image we had to capture was the Tǒr Mawr Lighthouse (meaning "great tower" in Welsh,) on Ynys Llanddwyn (Llanddwyn Island), with the spectacular Llanddwyn beach, and marks the western entrance to the Menai Strait. The nearest town is Newborough, about 4 miles away. I booked a self-catering cottage for two nights which was fantastic. It was close to a pub, local grocery store, a wonderful fish & chip shop (called the "Cod Mother"), and a quaint teashop (called the "Red Squirrel Cafe"). This area of Wales is famed for the red squirrels, unfortunately they were not obliging on our visit. We caught the train from London Euston bound for Holyhead. All the stations from Euston onwards were announced in Welsh as well as English. When we left Crewe the conductor passed through our coach and saw that we were getting off of at Bangor. He asked where we were heading to and I told him about our mission, he thought it was a good plan and told us about several local attractions including the beach and the red squirrels. He was from Holyhead, and bizarrely knew my university professor and another pal from there. We

arrived at Bangor and looked for the bus stop. There was one bus an hour from Bangor station that went to Newborough on Anglesey, according to the timetable we had 35 min to wait. After 50 min and not a sign of a bus, I offered to go and explore to see if anybody knew about the buses. I discovered another bus stop round the corner to where we had been standing. On speaking to a local we discovered that since last December no buses were using the stop we were standing at any longer. After a little wait we were on our way and crossing the Menai Bridge onto Anglesey. After an hour or so and a lovely bus journey across southeast and the south of the island we arrived in Newborough. The next day we had a look round the immediate area and checked out the map to the beach. It turned out that if we walked it would be more like 8 miles, so I managed to get a number for a local guy who acts as a taxi for locals and the odd tourist. He offered to take us right down to the car park by the entrance to the beach and return to pick us up in 3 hours. The cottage where we were staying had a special key and an ID badge that allowed free access to the beach, normally non-residents have to pay a £5 fee. On doing a little research it turns out that in the height of summer the beach gets absolutely packed. Last year alone there were more than 650,000 visitors to the beach. We spotted the lighthouse and headed towards it. There is a small tidal causeway that separates the small island to the main island but we managed to get a very good comparative photo. After a wonderful walk back along the beach, stopping for a picnic we'd made earlier, we headed back to our lift. On returning to Newborough we visited the local hostelry and sampled the fish & chips from the "Cod Mother" which was excellent. The next day we did the journey again in reverse. Mission 1 completed. “Araf deg mae mynd ymhell" (roughly translated:Go slowly and go far) .. To be continued

MARCH 2019 Volunteer Task - Millennium Country Park Saturday 9 March 10am to 3.30pm anna.charles@marstonvale.org or 01234 76261 Learning Lunchtime Monday 18 March 11am to Noon Bedfordshire's Butterflies 01234 767037 or www.marstonvale.org/events Volunteer Task - Millennium Country Park Thursday 21 March 9.30am to 3.30pm stephen.gascoyne@marstonvale.org or 01234 762610. Volunteer Task - Grange Estate Tuesday 26 March 10am to 3.30pm darren.woodward@marstonvale.org or 01234 762603. Family Fun in the Woods

APRIL 2019 Michael Bublé Tribute Friday 5 April 7pm to 10pm £15 per head. Booking essential 01234 767037 or www.marstonvale.org/events Spring Migrants Bird Walk Saturday 6 April 8am to 11am £4 per head. 01234 767037 or www.marstonvale.org/events Sunday Stroll 7 April at 10.30am About 2 hours. Booking not required. Free but donations welcome. 01234 767037 Symbol Spot Trail Tuesday 9 April 10am to Adventures in the Park with Captain Alice Sessions 9.30am, 11.30am, 2pm £6 per child 01234 767037 or www.marstonvale.org/events For a full list of events - see www.marstonvale.org/events

Short led walks, all welcome. Need to get more active? This could be just the thing for you. Walks last about an hour and a quarter (some hills). Walk at your own pace in a friendly group. It’s all free - just turn up. Next walks - all start at 10.00am: 8th March 22nd March 5th April

The Compasses PH, Greenfield Danish Camp, Willington Silsoe, Village Hall car park

For further information please contact: Lynda on 01234 740788 or at olivetree47@googlemail.com Or Laurie on 01525 403950 or at lalowe@btinternet.com or see http://ampthillhealthwalks.blogspot.co.uk

When responding to an advert please say you found it in The Fuddler!


Page 24

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