The Fuddler April 2019

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Est. 2002

Sick PC or laptop? Call the Doc for Hardware & software Diagnosis & treatment

Hello everyone and once again a huge welcome to this sunny springtime edition of your Fuddler! We very much hope you will enjoy this very busy issue - there’s lots of stories inside, local information plus the usual fun and nonsense and of course

don’t forget to look carefully at those all important messages from our advertisers! After all, you never know what you might find in The Fuddler! We wish you all a happy and peaceful Easter and if you are off on holiday have a splendid time!

B W Deacon

01525-402227

High Class Family Butcher

john.stafford@compu-doc.co.uk

AMPTHILL

Order Now for Easter

ELECTRICAL

Fresh legs of Lamb Fresh legs of Pork Whole roasting Chickens Boneless Turkey Crowns And Our Mature Topside of Beef Joints ideal for all the family

SERVICES NIC-EIC Registered All electrical work Testing and Certification

01525 632921 07977 173452

Available at both Ampthill and Westoning

Tel: Ampthill 01525 402175 Or Westoning 01525 712108 www.bwdeacon.co.uk

A good accountant never makes mistrakes!

THEȱ DROVER’Sȱ ARMSȱ FlitwickȱRoadȱ Steppingleyȱȱ MK45ȱ5BAȱ ȱ

FINEȱINDIANȱDININGȱȱ &ȱTAKEȱOUT,ȱ Deliveryȱserviceȱwithinȱ5ȱ mileȱradius.ȱ ȱ

Tel:ȱ(01525)ȱ715697

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www.droversarms.ukȱ

Call Kelly Marie today for a free quote All aspects of tree and gardening work carried out

Accounts, Payroll, Bookkeeping, Tax, Business Advice ... and much more. Ring to book a free, noͲobligation meeting today!

114 High Street, Cranfield, Beds, MK43 0DG Tel: 01234 752566 Email: info@vowles.co.uk www.vowles.co.uk

Weeding, Digging, Pruning, Grass Cutting, Hedges Trimmed, Trees Pruned, Jungles Cleared and all rubbish taken away Please Call:

01525 794103 / 01908 887295

When responding to an advert please say you found it in The Fuddler!


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Ampthill Glass Centre

Quality i Windows - Doors - Conservatories - Glass Merchants - Glazing Contractors 12 2 A Ampthill Business Park, Station Road, Ampthill, p Bedfordshire, MK45 2QW

Telephone: 01525 403015 / 403609 Fax: 01525 402521

www.ampthillglasscentre.co.u k k

Flush 100 (R9 Windows)

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Happy Easter!

Aluminium Bi - folding Doors

ǀĂŝůĂďůĞ ŝŶ ĂŶLJ Ɛ ŝŶŐůĞ Žƌ ĚƵĂů Z > ĐŽůŽƵƌ ŽƉƚŝŽŶ͘ &Ƶůů ƌĂŶŐĞ ŽĨ ƐƵŝƚĞĚ ŚĂƌĚǁĂƌĞ͘ ,ŝŐŚ ƐĞĐƵƌŝƚLJ ŚŝŶŐĞƐ ĂŶĚ ůŽĐŬŝŶŐ ŵĞĐŚĂŶŝƐŵƐ ĂƐ ƐƚĂŶĚĂƌĚ͘ /ŶƚĞƌŶĂůůLJ ďĞĂĚĞĚ ǁŝƚŚ Ă ƐŽĨƚůŝŶĞ ƐĂƐŚ͘

No window or glazing job too smalll .

P your trust in a company that has been trading for over 40 Put years! For all your w indow, doors and conservatory enquiries call us now or visit our website. sit

Don’t forget - if you have missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com


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DH Cox & Sons General Builders x x x x x

FOR ALL YOUR SECURITY REQUIREMENTS The ProControl+ is an innotive two-way wireless technology. No wires so ideal for newly decorated houses or listed buildings

Over 30 years’ experience Local friendly services Can undertake all aspects of building and maintenance to an exceptional standard No job too small Free & competitive quotes

SATURDAY 25th MAY 2019 REGISTRATION 11:30AM – ENGINE AND TENDER Please support us again by entering the annual Ampthill “Fancy Dress” Three Legged race. Last year we raised approximately £5,000 which has enhanced the lives of three local people who were in need of support. Additionally, some of the proceeds continued to support long standing projects in Gambia (Adult Education and Schooling) as well as the purchase of a Tilling Machine for a local village, thereby increasing their much needed crop yield. One of this year’s projects is to enable a seven year old Gambian Girl to undergo complex heart surgery. The proceeds from the race will play a significant part into making this happen. So please continue to support the charity, especially by entering into it and giving generously to change this little girl’s life. Nomination forms and further information available from all participating pubs or via the Web Page on http://www.ampthillthreeleggedrace.com

*OFFER*

Wedding Dress Cleaning Specialist Hand Cleaning & Boxing

FREE

Boxing Plus £15 Discount Voucher With this advert

Pop Your Wedding Dress In For A Quote Ends 30.04.19 @BradleysDryCleaners

BRADLEYS DRYCLEANERS 109 Dunstable Street, Ampthill, Bedford. 01525 405817 Open Mon - Fri 8.30am - 7pm ] Sat 9am - 4pm

Intruder Alarms CCTV Systems & Complete Maintenance agreements available

Supply & Installation of security systems for your home or business Upgrades including Additional Detectors, Remote Monitoring, Apps & Wireless Remotes

Call Dave 07976 766143 or 01525 841670 dhcoxbuilding@hotmail.co.uk

JCA SECURITY SYSTEMS LTD

ProControl+

T: 01582 493283 / 07785 112580 Beds 09

CCTV Systems

or email: carruthersjca@yahoo.co.uk

The Clophill Friends of Leonard Cheshire DisABILITY Home at Ampthill are holding their next Grand Jumble Sale on Friday, 26th April, at Clophill Village Hall. Doors open at 7.00pm. Entry is charged at 30p per adult , accompanied children are free. Refreshment will also be available. All profits are donated for the direct benefit of the Residents at the Leonard Cheshire DisABILITY Home at Agate House in Ampthill. The organisers look forward to seeing you there. Ampthill & District Choral Society are holding their Spring Concert on Saturday 18th May at Ampthill Methodist Church at 7:30pm. Programme: Haydn – Imperial ‘Nelson’ Mass & Rheinberger - Mass in C. Tickets are priced at £10 including light refreshments and are available on the door. We hope you are able to join us for what promises to be a very enjoyable evening. ‘Retired and missing the contact that professional/ business life provides? If so Probus needs you - why not come along to the Cross Keys at Pulloxhill on the first Tuesday of any month at 12.30 for a without obligation taster meeting. Find out more by contacting Alan Clarke Club Secretary on 01234 961786 or visit www.ampthillprobus.co.uk’

FREE PRESCRIPTION DELIVERY Our prescription service means you can have your repeat prescription dispensed and delivered hassle free! FREE DELIVERY TO YOUR DOOR The NHS Electronic Prescription Service allow Doctors to send your prescription to us at Cheeseman’s Pharmacy. We will then dispense your repeat prescription and deliver to your address. We cover/deliver around Ampthill, Clophill, Flitwick, Houghton Conquest, Marston Moretaine, Maulden, Silsoe, Stewartby, Wilstead and Wixams. TO REGISTER OR FOR MORE INFORMATION CALL US NOW ON 01525 402173

CHEESEMANS PHARMACY OF AMPTHILL Tel: 01525 402173

When responding to an advert please say you found it in The Fuddler!


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LORD DEE’S PONDERINGS

Having made excellent progress in the grounds in the glorious weather of late, I took the opportunity to attend an appointment and it struck me that one really does notice a great deal more when being driven. On reaching my destination I duly thanked the gentleman who drove the Park & Ride bus. And Birthday felicitations to Sir Howard for the 6th.

Ciao

Server, Printer, Apple, Setup, Repairs, Data recovery, Internet, Wireless, Network, Virus infection, Mail setup, Home/Office computer problems. Services from £40. Your local IT support, 7 day service, we visit you. Qualified & Experienced No Fix - No Fee

01525 306316 - 07925 338435

“The Fuddler” is published by MDA Publications. The views expressed herein are not necessarily those of the publisher. No part of this publication may be copied in any form or by any means without written permission of the Publisher. Copyright MDA Publications.

pclaprepairs@gmail.com

Across: 1 Tarmac, 4 Albeit, 7 Moonshine, 9 Tier, 10 Emit, 11 Wrest, 13 Phobia, 14 Teller, 15 Evince, 17 Aspire, 19 Elope, 20 Blur, 22 Gnat, 23 Somnolent, 24 Knolls, 25 Ousted

Down: 1 Tiptop, 2 Moor, 3 Contra, 4 Aghast, 5 Bane, 6 Tartar, 7 Melodious, 8 Emollient, 11 Wince, 12 Terse, 15 Embark, 16 Elands, 17 Apollo, 18 Extend, 21 Roll, 22 Gnus

Like to book an ad, or ask about our absurdly low rates please ring Martin on

When the time comes to say goodbye

A BRIANISM

Talk to Pam Woods Civil Funeral Celebrant for a service that reflects only your own beliefs and wishes.

(With fond memories) The good thing about watching a repeat is if you fall asleep you are not disappointed.

Or if you prefer, drop us an email to martin@thefuddler.com

01234 742 3 07515282755 pamwoods55@gmail.com

THE WINGFIELD CLUB 37 Church St, Ampthill, MK45 2PL (01525) Bar - 403321 Office - 841736 thewingfieldclub@tiscali.co.uk

DATES FOR YOUR DIARY

The Wingfield Club AGM is on Friday 26th April at 8.00pm Voting for the new Committee takes place on Friday 3rd May, Saturday 4th, Sunday 5th and Bank Holiday Monday 6th May

NEW BAR OPENING HOURS MonͲThur 14.00 Ͳ 23.00 Fri 14.00 Ͳ 23.30 Sat 12.00 Ͳ 23.30 Sun 12.00 Ͳ 23.00

6 large HD screens showing all main sporting events

Supreme pool table and spacious darts area

Large car park for members

EASTER SUNDAY 21st APRIL

Easter Party with Disco for Member’s Children and Grandchildren

14.00 Ͳ 17.00

Private parties catered for

Meeting rooms available

Competitively priced Drinks

NEW MEMBERS WELCOME Please fully complete a membership form and hand the money to The Bar staff, Your New Membership card will be posted to your address.

Sunday Meat Raffle & Members Tote

2019 MEMBERSHIP NOW AVAILABLE FROM THE BAR

New Members Welcome

Don’t forget - if you have missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com


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Annual Charity Golf Day

19 September 2019 - Pavenham Park Golf Club MK43 7PE

Golfers

Local Businesses

£80 for individual entries £320 for team entries

£100 to sponsor a hole Opportunity to donate raffle prizes

Coffee & bacon rolls on arrival 18-hole shotgun start competition Three-course evening meal & prize-giving

Hole sponsors can post their signage around the tee.

For more information about St John’s Hospice at Moggerhanger, visit their website at www.sueryder.org For more information about the arrangements for the day and to enter as an individual or as a team, please contact:

steve.williamson@sharmanlaw.co.uk When responding to an advert please say you found it in The Fuddler!


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Garage Door Solutions Ltd Your local garage door expert for:

Replacements, Repairs and Spares x All makes & designs available x 24 Hour repair service x No call out charge x All work guaranteed x Free quotations

Pat Eldin Carpentry, Joinery and Building Services

Call us now on: 01525 721615 / 07761 093468

07768 008951

Website: www.garagedoorsolutionsltd.co.uk

01462 812242

Or see the yellow pages

3, Woodcock Walk, Flitwick, Bedfordshire, MK 45 1RD

pateldinbarbel@hotmail.co.uk

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Here’s another of Marjorie’s fine crosswords for our entertainment Across: Down: 1 Prattle (6) 1 Apparition (6) 4 Support (6) 2 Open pastry (4) 7 Soft French cheese (9) 3 Protective eye covering (6) 9 Press (4) 4 Small lynx (6) 10 Bother! (4) 5 String (4) 11 Ultimate (5) 6 Measly (6) 13 Abhorrence (6) 7 Low female singing voice (9) 14 Peevish (6) 8 Belligerent (9) 15 Winding ski race (6) 11 Criminal (5) 17 Small bullet (6) 12 Embankment (5) 19 Aristocratic (5) 15 Intellectual (6) 20 Overrule (4) 16 Short time (6) 22 Poker stake (4) 17 Wading bird (6) 23 Watchful (9) 18 Conical tent (6) 24 Ability (6) 21 Musical instrument (4) 25 Irritate (6) 22 Soon (4)

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B

Sandra’s been busy again looking through her big book of words (dictionary?) and brings us the word below. (Nothing to do with the crossword.) Just look at the hexagon and see whether or not the word jumps out at you! (Answer at the bottom of the page if it doesn’t!)

E

23

24

6

N R

2

A

JH ELECTRICAL • DOMESTIC • INDUSTRIAL • COMMERCIAL

24 HR CALLOUT AVAILABLE All electrical work undertaken email: supaspark@tiscali.co.uk Don’t forget - if you have missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

Carbuncle

1


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When responding to an advert please say you found it in The Fuddler!


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With The Duchess of Troll Reflections in the Dewpond.

‘The No 200 Bus’

Beer n o ditati Accre

In addition to our weekly specials and fantastic Sunday Roasts we are pleased to offer ... Available now ... Takeaway Menu Our Freshly Cooked Food in your own home!!! (Collection only) Menu on our website 'Fish Supper Friday' Battered Cod, Wholetail Scampi or Fishcakes served with all the trimmings. (Eat in or Takeaway)

SERVING FOOD ALL EASTER WEEKEND Good Friday 12 - 9pm Saturday 12 - 9pm Easter Sunday 12 - 6pm Bank Holiday Monday 12 - 6pm Chocolate Eggs for the children Serving food 7 days a week (Until 9.00pm Monday to Saturday and 12.00 to 6.00pm Sunday)

To Book call 01525 280565

The White Horse, 1 Mill Road, Husborne Crawley, Bedford, Mk43 0XE www.whitehorsehusbornecrawley.squarespace.com whitehorsehc@gmail.com.

The Five Old Friends, Rabbit Bob, Dapper Charlie, Charlie, Ten Acre and Sam Ilex along with the Mrs Sam nattering and enjoying each other's company, and the fascinating countryside as the bus travelled to the last of fourteen villages from Flitwick to Biggleswade. The village of Broom sits on the edge of its neighbour Biggleswade with the River Ivel winding through the fields. Crops long harvested in the fields edging up to the twisting country road. The village has a pubs village hall, and a small green with a mixture of housing, a well balanced place. The Old Boys peering through the window at the men climbing up ladders with reeds, to the Thatchers working at the towards the ridge of the roof. Sam Ilex remarked that the old Granddad didn't travel out this far, when he was a Thatcher, nor did his uncle, their work they liked to keep to their neck of the woods. Wondering if the reed used was from Norfolk or nowadays from abroad. Even today it is hard work, just as it was in Granddad's day, and finishing the day with a pint at the pub. Most country workers popped in the local for a chat, as many could be working alone all day, some walking miles in the fields, and a step or two to get home. Ten Acre had been given his nickname, affectionately by the fact he could be heard anywhere in a ten acre field, his real name long forgotten. Must have been exhausting during the last hot summer working anywhere on the land, on building sites, or those Thatchers on the cottage roofs. If the thatch is of reed it will not need a thatch for at least 50 years, straw less, maybe 30. The bus waiting for a car to finish crossing the narrow bridge over The River Ivel, it's water tumbling through the lock, just newly renovated, guarded by a statue. The road turns a sharp right past Jordan's Mill, now a place to visit and have a meal. Most rivers had a mill alongside, it is a wonder they all made a living grinding corn for flour, there were hundreds once upon a time in Bedfordshire, of course wind and later on steam mills littered the riverbank. Every river itself not only provided a means of transportation of goods and people, a barrier to invasion, as many had wet boggy fen land that run for miles, hard to cross, and in different locations stilts were used to get about, or above the water a wooden walkway. It was a long time before drainage strategies helped to contain the problem. The highly sort after eels and freshwater fish, some earning a living, by license, others by poaching. The country dwellers felt that the wildlife belonged to everyone not just the landowners, so throughout time have hunted and fished for food to feed the family. As Sam Ilex reflected one of his namesake in the 1735, as told by Joyce Godber in her History of Bedfordshire the story of two ducks offered for sale in Carlton, shot at Harrold Bridge by Hollis and another. The rector's wife recognised the ducks as hers. Appealed to Sir Rowland Alston, who agreed that the live and dead ducks were much alike, that might be from same brood. He sent for the alleged offenders, who said they must be guilty as they wouldn't have come without a warrant. Hollis said he had shot the ducks, no sign of them being shot. Sir Rowland Alston said Mr Farrer, who was on the Bedfordshire commission of the peace, was visiting next day and would confer with him. And as Joyce Godber writes the end of the story is unknown. Wonder if he did serve time, or got away with it, but most importantly who kept and who ate the two ducks. Waste not want not! The journey continued past the mill, with the River Ivel temporarily running along side the road, with its steep banks, aiding the water to run faster. We will all have to find out more about the River Ivel, and have a walk along its banks. This is ideal walking country, peaceful and uninhabited, were the thoughts of the Five Old Friends and The Mrs Sam. Ten Acre spotted someone tending the field behind the Jordan Mill, does my heart good that someone loves the fields as much as me, he commented. Quickly in sight came the huge structures of the wind farm. Tall and proud the sails turning slowly on this lovely Autumn sunny day to feed the turbines to produce electricity. A wonderful sight, they might not be as romantic as the watermill, or indeed the windmills of the past, but are more useful in today’s energy requirements. Under the bridge to Biggleswade. D.O.T.

Don’t forget - if you have missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com


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DEREK G STORY

LET US BE A PART OF YOUR SUCCESS STORY In order to provide the best possible advice, first we like to get to know you. If you would like a free no obligation introduction meeting to discuss your accountancy and tax planning needs, then get in touch today and we’ll arrange to meet with you.

CALL OR EMAIL DEREK STORY TODAY ON: +44 (0)7790 672 699 / DEREK_STORY@YAHOO.CO.UK

When responding to an advert please say you found it in The Fuddler!


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FARMERS MARKET

The Farmers Market in Woburn is held on the third Sunday of every month from 10.00 - 2.00 at The Pitchings in the village.

Don’t forget The Charter Market in Ampthill every Thursday and Flitwick Market on Fridays!

With Jimmy The Voice This month JTV has sent us this picture of 2 lovely Easter eggs pictured on the these boxes. - JTV reckons there’s one on the top of each box or inside each box at the back ...

... we can’t work it out! We reckon that both eggs are on the bottom of each box! But what do you think?

Experienced and reliable, no job too small. Completing all those jobs you’ve been meaning to do from doors to floors and much more. For your free quotation please call 07814 679337 or email ben_woodcraft10@hotmail.com

By Julio Van Peebles Julio’s worries and useless facts: 1) Did you know that Duck billed platypus do not have a stomach? 2) How fit exactly is a Butchers dog? 3) Did you know that there are currently 83 stones visible at Stonehenge? 4) Has anyone ever been called William Nilley? 5) Did you know that you are not allowed to mow your lawn in France after 7.30 on weekdays or on Sunday afternoons? Julio’s interesting ‘Pie’ fact: Did you know that the most expensive pie was filled with Japanese Wagyu beef fillet, fine wine and had gold leaf pastry. It was served at the Fence Gate Inn in Lancashire and cost £1,024 a slice!!

3rd April - Hiya Sis Birthday Greetings! xxx

Congratulations to Hannah and Jamie on the arrival of the gorgeous Eli Edward on 12 March. With love from proud Grandparents, Lanie and Chris and Great Grandma Jean xxxx

April 26th Happy Birthday Hayley Rose

Love from Ampthill xx 12th April A very Happy Birthday to Mary

Love Tony xxx

EN E S V! T S A N O

WEDNESDAY QUIZ FROM 8.00pm

APRIL 23rd ST GEORGE’S DAY

Our highly popular quiz starts each Wednesday at 8.00 sharp. There’s no charge and we can probably even find you a pencil! We have a regular guest quizmaster each week including H & Miri, Malcolm, JVP and many others - if you would like to be a quizmaster please speak to Richard and add your name to the rota! Everyone welcome

Celebrate with a pint of Bombardier!

THIS MONTH’S CHESS PUZZLE Here’s another one! Can you help? As always, it’s white to play and checkmate is achieved in just two moves. If you can work out how please pop in and show us, and maybe enjoy a pint of our finest!

EASTER WEEKEND Hopefully, weather permitting, we will be firing up the Barbeque please ask Richard for more details.

WEDNESDAY 1st MAY - OPEN AT 7.00am! After watching dancing in our great park come and enjoy breakfast served from 7.00am. Then we are open all day for shenanigans!

FRIDAY MAY 3rd - LIVE MUSIC The return of ‘ENZO’ with his Dire Straits and Guitar Legends evening - from 8.00ish

TUESDAY EVENING DARTS TEAM Come and support your local in house men’s darts team on a Tuesday evening - there may even be some ‘Toad in the Hole’ played!

SUNDAY LUNCHTIME NIBBLES You are invited to enjoy your Sunday lunchtime drink with more bar snacks than you could shake a stick at!

Don’t forget - if you have missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com


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Building Preservation Specialists x

Damp Proofing

x

Woodworm Treatments

x

Dry / Wet Rot Treatments

x

Basement Waterproofing

Telephone/Fax (01525) 406655 Mobile: 07850 727752 email: Jim@dunritepreservation.co.uk

16 Tavistock Avenue, Ampthill, Bedford. MK45 2RY

I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific. It’s so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don’t say it. My friend’s husband is so silly that he studied for a blood test - and failed. I’ve been on a Vodka diet - I’ve lost three days already. You realise you are getting out of shape when you can’t pull the supermarket shopping trolleys apart. Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect. One way to prevent conversation from being boring is to say the wrong thing. Try computer dating - you might meet someone nice if the computer doesn’t turn up. Don’t ever take a fence down unless you know why it was put up. Plastic surgery is something that makes you look ten years scarier. (Wearing a toupee makes you look 30 years sillier) I would never say boo to a goose. I am not a coward but I realise it would be largely pointless.

With very best wishes, Piers Happy Birthday to ‘The Mouse’ for the 27th April!

with Auntie Vi I'm still waiting patiently for the wisdom that supposedly comes with age.

BOB AMBLER HOME DESIGNS

Kitchens – Bedrooms – Home Offices

Carpentry

Replacement Kitchen Doors and Worktops

A complete design, supply & installation service

Do You Want To Feel Like NEW Again? Book Your:

Many More Treatments Available..

Free Designs and Quotations

A.C.G MASSAGE

01525 405393 07889 058345

@acgmassage acgmassage.co.uk

Sports & Remedial Massage Deep Tissue Massage Kinesiology Taping Cupping

1. ‘Edo’ is the old name for which major city? 2. Where would you find a ‘Bailey’? 3. What do you call the young of a weasel? 4. Who wrote the novel ‘Black Beauty’? 5. In which year was ‘Rock Around the Clock’ written? 6. I f y o u s u f f e r e d f r o m ‘Autophobia’ what would you fear? 7. Where is the US is a place called ‘Nothing’? 8. A ‘Gang’ is the collective term for which animal? 9. In which Dickensian novel would you come across ‘William Guppy’? 10.What is a ‘Cachucha? 1 Tokyo, 2 Castle, 3 Kit, 4 Anna Sewell, 5 1955, 6 Loneliness, 7 Arizona, 8 Elk, 9 Bleak House, 10 Spanish dance.

13th April Congratulations and a very Happy Birthday to Peggy Greenhood on this momentous occasion!!

Call Alfie to book your home visit 07861 198696

When responding to an advert please say you found it in The Fuddler!

RON HILL MBE


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We are delighted to bring you yet more of your brilliant photos of The Fuddler as it travels the world! This month on the left we have David with his copy at Coogee, New South Wales, Australia and below is Ian with his Fuddler out in the Arizona desert! Many thanks for those and if you are going away don’t forget to pack your Fuddler too! Please send your photos of a Fuddler being read away from home to martin@thefuddler.com

36 Dunstable Street, Ampthill Telephone 01525 634857 3500+ Ales from April 2010 THE PERMANENT BEER FEST SOUTH BEDS CAMRA PUB OF THE YEAR 2014 GIANT EASTER EGG AND EASTER BUNNY RAFFLE We have a giant Easter Egg with 1 kg of chocolate plus an Easter Bunny to be raffled in aid of Keech Hospice and Ampthill Lions Charities. Draw takes place at 8.30pm on 17th April

T Butlin Building and Plastering Est 1987

www.timbutlinbuilders.co.uk

Ampthill Writers’ Group meet at

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Page 13

Here comes that egg-citing time, so let's get eggs on your mind. Yes Easter will soon be here We have loads of eggs I would like to make that clear. Big ones medium ones small ones too We have plenty for you to choose. In my eggs-perience they do sell well, But which ones you choose, only you can tell. But you must be quick while we have plenty Cause it won't be long before our shelves will be empty. We also have a special eggs-tra deal on crème eggs, They're going so fast you would have thought they have grown legs. A box of 48 would have cost you £31.20, which will give you plenty, But you can buy them for now just 24 pound So now that's got be the best price around. And we will also chuck in six eggs for free, That sounds like an egg-cellent deal to me... And don't forget those bags of mini eggs too, I've ordered in loads for you, They did sell out very quick last year That's why I have so many bags now here, And they are still only one pound, So you better buy many to make enough for them to share around. So crème eggs, golden eggs, mini eggs too, These are to name just a few, Great displays you'll find in store But don't go yet I want to tell you more. Easter toys, Easter hats, chirping birds, and Easter gifts out on display So please don't miss but what ever you buy and take away, I'd just like to say happy Easter day to everyone And I do hope you’ll all have some fun, And our shop is open Easter Sunday at the normal time For those little things that have slipped your mind Happy Easter

MCCOLL’S YOUR LOCAL CONVENIENCE STORE 17 CHURCH STREET AMPTHILL TEL: 01525 404096 OPEN: MON-SAT 6AM TO 8PM SUNDAY 7AM TO 8PM

at Maulden Garden Centre on the A507 near A6 at Clophill (drive safe - turn at roundabout)

It’s time to get growing so visit us now for your .... x

Seasonal and hardy plants for Pots, Baskets and garden

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Vegetable seeds and plants

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Hanging Baskets and pots

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Composts, fertilisers and tools and helpful advice - “just ask” Telephone: 01525 861696 Postcode: MK45 2GP

When responding to an advert please say you found it in The Fuddler!


Page 14

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Page 15

When responding to an advert please say you found it in The Fuddler!


Page 16

EASTER SERVICES AND EVENTS 2019 IN THE AMPTHILL AREA COME AND JOIN US Palm Sunday - April 14th - ARISE - Easter Prayer Trail in Kings Arms Garden, Ampthill - 2.00 - 4.30pm Good Friday – April 19th - Walk of Witness through Ampthill starting inside St Andrews Church at 10.00am, stopping at the Market Square and Ampthill Methodist Church and ending at Ampthill Baptist Church for Hot Cross Buns and Tea or Coffee. Easter Sunday – April 21st – 5.45am - Sunrise Service near Katherine’s Cross in Ampthill Park Ampthill Baptist Church Maundy Thursday – April 18th Agape Supper with communion at 7.30pm Easter Sunday - April 21st - All age service at 10.45am Ampthill Church of England – St Andrews (Services at St Andrews unless shown otherwise) Palm Sunday - April 14th - Procession to Church with palms starting at 9.15am at the Market Square followed by Sung Eucharist at 9.30am. Holy Communion at 11.15am at St Michaels, Milbrook Holy Communion at 11.15am at St Lawrence, Steppingley Holy Week Monday April 15th - Compline and Readings at 7.30pm Tuesday April 16th - Compline and Readings at 7.30pm at St Michaels, Millbrook Wednesday April 17th - Compline and Readings at 7.30pm at St Lawrence, Steppingly Maundy Thursday - April 18th - Solemn Eucharist and stripping of altars at 8.00pm Good Friday - April 19th - 1.00pm, 2.00pm and 3.00pm hourly devotions with music and reflections Easter Eve - April 20th - Easter Vigil at 7.00 – 10.00pm Easter Sunday - April 21st - New light followed by Eucharist at 8.00am Festal Eucharist at 9.30am followed by Easter Egg Hunt Holy Communion at 11.15am at St Michaels, Millbrook Holy Communion at 11.15am at St Lawrence, Steppingley Hymns and Readings for Easter Day at 6.30pm Ampthill Methodist Church Easter Sunday – April 21st - Easter Family Service with communion at 10.30am Flitwick Catholic Church - Sacred Heart, (Serving both Flitwick and Ampthill) April14th - Palm Sunday Mass at 9.00am April 18th - Maundy Thursday at 8.00pm Good Friday - April 19th Good Friday Service at 3.00pm Stations of the Cross at 7.00pm Easter Saturday – April 20th - Easter Vigil at 9.00pm Easter Sunday- April 21st - Easter Sunday Mass at 9.00am (Please confirm these times on our website www. sacredheartflitwick.co.uk)

If you would like to reserve an advertisement in our next edition please send an email martin@thefuddler.com for details

The Ampthill Literary Festival, under the auspices of The Ampthill Festival, will take place at Parkside Hall on 27th April 2019. Details can be found on www.ampthillfestival.com, and tickets can be purchased from Eventbrite under AmpLiterary and from No.14 in Ampthill. Vintage Be will return, by popular demand, with an extended menu to feed the body, whilst our guests provide a cornucopia to feed the soul. A short, locally based film “Car Keys” will be premiered, with Robert Daws and the team behind this project in discussion thereafter. Robert will also chair a discussion with local authors Anthony Lowery and Adam Croft. Claire McGlasson will speak about The Bedford Panacea Society, on which her debut novel “The Rapture” is based. Ruth Hogan returns to present prizes awarded for the writing competion ( please see our Facebook page for more detail) and share her latest book with us; and hopefully also ”premier” some fabulous boots. Journalist and novelist Allison Pearson will discuss her hilarious and thought provoking books “I Don’t Know How She Does It” and “How Hard Can It Be?” which investigate the challenges of developing both family and career. “The Antipoet” will entertain during the day. These innovative performance artists are gaining in reputation and will bring a further new dimension to our festival. Our workshops include a session at Ampthill Library for under 9s, a session for adult writers and children’s story telling activities. Tickets for these will be limited. We hope to achieve another joyous day, akin to 2018, celebrating the written and spoken word. The bookshop will be open and there will be the chance to get copies signed where appropriate. The bar will again, we feel sure, be an area alive with discussion of the delights on offer. The Ampthill Literary committee look forward to welcoming everyone, especially all those who have so wonderfully supported our “Beer and Books” and quiz evenings throughout the year, the proceeds of which go towards supporting this festival. It is our hope that the whole day will inspire and entertain new and returning aficionados. “The Friends Of Ampthill’s Christmas Lights 2019 series of fundraisers got off to a brilliant start. Our sold-out general knowledge quiz with hot cooked supper at The Cross Keys, Pulloxhill was very keenly contested and we have a new name on the ‘champions’ board. Superb prizes very kindly donated by The White Hart Ampthill, Waitrose and Partners Ampthill, Tesco Flitwick and many individuals helped boost the amount raised to a magnificent £496-50. We would like to recruit more people to join our organising committee – just three more meetings this year – and welcome extra helpers for switch-on Sunday which this year will be Sunday November 17th with stalls, funfair and entertainment to enjoy before the town’s incredibly popular icicle lights go live at 5pm. Crowd control remains a concern, and although Church Street will again be closed to vehicular traffic between 2.30pm and 6.00pm, more marshals are needed in the town centre. If you wish to volunteer or would like more information please contact Donna Searle on 01525 404355 or Richard Holden on 01525 403141.” Richard Holden The Friends Of Ampthill’s Christmas Lights.

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Page 17

Free, no obligation surveys this month

Visit the showroom to book 1 Bedford Street, Ampthill, Beds Tel: 01525 841199 www.ampthillfireplaces.co.uk Mon - Fri: 10am - 5pm Sat: 10am - 4pm When responding to an advert please say you found it in The Fuddler!


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POTENTIAL DEVELOPMENT LAND WANTED If you have land that you think may be suitable for development for one house or one hundred houses give us a call and we will be pleased to come round and give you our opinion at no charge and without any obligation. It might be the best call you make this year. HUNTERHILL ESTATES Ltd 01234 766271 & 07786 038906 hunterhillestate@btinternet.com

After a lecture on British Post-modernist painting with its tendency to Brutalism, followed by the March presentation on Caravaggio, the Bad Guy of Renaissance Art, genius or murderer, it’s time to switch to something completely different – Wallpaper – its origins and development. Wallpaper has a fascinating history, replacing fresco painting and rooms hung with tapestry or curtains and regarded unfairly as the Cinderella of the Decorative Arts – ephemeral, inexpensive, found in stately mansions and humble tenements. Wallpaper required the manufacture of suitable materials, papers and adhesives, the invention of large machine printing presses, and the desire of the public to find papers that reflected their wealth or their personalities. Who hasn’t spent hours poring over books of papers to find that just-right pattern for their walls. This is a subject for everyone’s taste as we encounter Modernist or Contemporary designs that go well in our decorating schemes. Move house – the first thing to make the house your home is to change the wallpaper ! The presentation will be at Aspley Guise village Hall on Thursday 25th April. Non-members are always made welcome. The illustrated talk will be given by Jo Banham, hugely experienced curator, with National museum and gallery experience. The talk starts at 7.30 p.m. Meet at ARA club Manton Lane Bedford MK41 7PF. Thursday 18th April at 7.30 pm Ken Davies, ‘Rutland Water Ospreys’ - Ken, a member of the Osprey conservation team, tells us more about these magnificent birds and the Rutland Water Osprey conservation programme. Suitable for Experts and Novices, RSPB membership not essential. Entrance fee, group members £1 Guest £2 annual group membership £5. Reg. Charity No. 207076, more info www.rspb.org.uk/groups/bedford

All About Us .... Have you wanted to paint but lacked the confidence or are you an experienced artist who wants to experiment with a new and exciting medium? Then visit the friendly, helpful Houghton Conquest Art Society. We produce an extensive yearly programme of art techniques ranging from pastels, watercolour, pen & ink, pencil, clay modelling, acrylic paint/inks, paper making, lino printing, calligraphy, portraits, plaster casts and printing. The evenings consist of a basic demonstration with a hands-on approach so it is possible to gain experience and also produce a piece of art. We also have Saturday Workshops. The “Big Paint” is where we enlarge a famous painting and divide it into sections to copy, then the sections are joined together like a jigsaw. We meet on the 1st & 3rd Wednesday of every month from 7.30pm to 9.30pm at Houghton Conquest Village Hall. Individual annual Membership is £20, £35 for a married couple and £10 for a junior. On Sunday May 5th 2019 we hold an Art Exhibition and sale of work in the village hall and the Tea Room serves delicious refreshments. Full details and dates of our programme and events are on our website www.houghon-conquest-art-society.co.uk. where you will also find details of who to contact to get involved or find out more. Don’t forget - if you have missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com


Page 19

ABOUT BLUE SPEAR...

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TO DISCUSS YOUR TRANSPORT REQUIREMENTS CALL BLUE SPEAR : 01525 839333

Airport Transfers - Events - Special Occasion - Business Travel - Chauffeuring When responding to an advert please say you found it in The Fuddler!


Page 20

Guttering Problems? Est 1965 Electrical Contractor Domestic and Industrial Rewires & Fuseboard upgrades

Gutters Cleaned. Leaking Gutters repaired.

Your local Electrical Contractor All types of testing and certification undertaken PAT testing & Landlords

New Gutters Fitted.

FREE QUOTATIONS NICEIC Approved Contractor over 25 Years 11 Cedar Close, Ampthill, Bedford, MK45 2UD

All by a friendly local established company Call Rob on 01525 552066 or 07977 206403

Bradnam Guttering Happy Birthday Howie for 6th April from one old pensioner to another -

‘Youngster’

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JO For 17th April Love from all your friends!!

Oh, and me! J x A BIG Happy Birthday to Lanie for the 27th April

07702 080623 Tel & Fax: 01525 714057 Birthday Greetings to Katy for the 16th April

Here we bring you a super recipe that another reader has agreed to share with us.

TASTY GAMMON SUPPER To serve 4 people: Firstly nip off to your local butchers and buy 4 thick gammon rashers, each about 2cms thick. Then you will need about 100 gm Demerara sugar 3 tsps dry mustard 250 ml milk cornflour A little something to gently sip whilst cooking. Pre – heat oven to about 190 C, then trim gammon rashers and lay them in a

If you are quick you could book an advert like this in

casserole dish. Sprinkle 75 gm of the sugar over mixed with the mustard powder. Then pour the milk over, cover and cook in centre of oven for 45 minutes. Remove the gammon and place on a shallow oven proof dish. Then thicken the sauce with corn flour and water mixed to a paste. Pour the sauce over the gammon, sprinkle the remaining sugar over and place under a hot grill to finish. Serve with lashings of green salad.

Here’s a little more whimsy from one of our readers:

I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, ‘How flexible are you?’ I s a i d , ‘ I c a n ' t ma k e Tuesdays.’ Oh Dear! But thanks!

Happy Birthday Choc for 5th April!

And that’s the darn thing of it!

T.H.E. BEST BUTCHERS

our next edition! Just ring Martin on 07530 869 365 or email martin@thefuddler.com

* INTERESTING RANGE OF SPECIALITY SAUSAGES

Telephone (01908) 375275 www.bestbutcher.co.uk

Unit 5, Lower Rectory Farm, Great Brickhill, Milton Keynes, Bucks MK17 9AF

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Page 21

With DGS Suddenly we find ourselves waking to the sound of birdsong, smelling spring flowers, admiring the revival of our trees and shrubs after Winter. April brings us all these thrills and much, much more for the practising accountant. For it is Tax Time ! The time when accountants come out of their gloom of winter hibernation and into the delights of double entry, excel spreadsheets and annual tax returns. The prospect of April 5th brings colour to the cheeks and a spring in one’s step. Self assessment beckons with all its interesting, budding branches of tax allowances, tax rates, P60’s, pension provisions, personal allowances and of course payment of tax. Oh, this joyous, uplifting time. April provides for those quiet, unassuming accountants amongst us a chance to come out of our winter shells and the chance to learn a new script……….. “Oh to be in England, now that the 2019/20 Budgets here” Lets toss away the encumbrances that bind us to the formality of accountancy practice……… Away with the necktie, braces and waistcoat………. On with the open neck check shirt, trendy chinos and loafers. So, now for an audience……….who will be the next unsuspecting individual to fall under the power of tech speak and the conjuring computer. Good morning ! Are your tax affairs up to date?

Happy Birthday Rocketman for the 9th April

April 7th A very Happy Birthday to James

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FRESHLY PREPARED ITALIAN FOOD Specialising in Pizza and Pasta Please see our Facebook page or ring Mick for details on 01525 404666 OPENING TIMES: Monday evening 6.00 Ͳ 9.00 Tuesday to Friday lunchtime 12.00 Ͳ 2.00 Tuesday to Thursday evening 6.00 Ͳ 10.00 Friday and Saturday evening 6.00 Ͳ 11.00 www.donatellospizzeria.co.uk

91, Dunstable Street Ampthill Tel: (01525) 404666 Free parking available

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Page 22

Ben Keenan

HUMAN GIVENS THERAPIST MHGI. HG Dip. (Dist) PSA. Public Standards Authority Accredited Register

The world of counselling/psychotherapy is a very different place to what it was even ten years ago! Neurological science has provided insights that when combined with the best of other approaches provides a fast and effective solution focused therapy (SFBT) that is embodied in Human Givens. Treatment does not just mean sitting and endlessly talking, it is also about effectively understanding the issues and providing lasting realistic change. Therapy thoughts Ͳ Coaching Coaching forms a part of a therapist’s work load. So often when it comes to "that wedding speech", "the presentation at work", "the dread of social functions" or the dropping feeling in your stomach that stops you nailing the moment in sport, we really struggle (the list goes on). When that feeling overtakes us we often rationalise it, by saying "our nerves are no good", "I am not mentally strong enough", or even "I am not good enough". The truth is that the part of our brain that protects us from danger has perceived a threat in those situations and has switched on at the wrong time and is over protecting us. Coaching comes in to help recognise, understand and overcome this process. That debilitating feeling that arises in these situations is not because there is something wrong with your mind it is often because your mind is working a little too well.

Ben Keenan Ͳ 07860 195303 or email: therapyinbedforshire@outlook.com

NOW OPEN Come and discover Ampthill’s rich history and learn about the towns association with Henry VIII and why Kit Williams chose the town as the hiding place for the treasure of his 1979 book Masquerade. The museum occupies part of the top floor of Ampthill Fireplaces showroom in Bedford Street and is open 6 days a week. Admission is free

‘Possibly the smallest museum in the world’

Little words Big meanings Adult explanation of who we are to an eight year old. ‘We are fifty per cent of our Dad, and fifty percent of our Mum and we are one hundred percent ourselves.’ Eight year old replies ‘That’s 200 percent.’ An adult asking an eight year old for the meaning of ‘deserted.’ Reply came after much thought, sweetly given ‘Is it a pudding you give away?’ The young lad watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. ‘Why do you do that, Mummy?’ he asked. ‘To make myself beautiful,’ said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. ‘What's the matter?’ asked little Johnny, ‘Giving up?

April’s Host - with Henrietta Wainsworth. On April 15th 1802 a brother and sister were taking a walk around Glencoyne Bay, Ullswater in the Lake District. Little did they know this was to be the catalyst for one of the most beautiful poems in the English language which still resonates today. In fact in1995, when a poll was conducted by BBC4 Bookworm programme, to find the Nations favourite poem, it came fifth. On that walk over two hundred years ago, William Wordsworth and his sister Dorothy came across a ‘long belt’ of daffodils which they found awe inspiring - these would of course have been wild daffodils as seen in April. Later, Dorothy wrote the following in her journal....... “I never saw daffodils so beautiful they grew among the mossy stone about and about them; some rested their heads upon the stones as on a pillow for weariness and the rest tossed and reeled and danced and seemed as if they verily laughed with the wind that blew upon them over the lake.” It was this journal account that gave Wordsworth the inspiration for his famous poem which was written sometime between 1804 and 1807. Wordsworth himself states that he wrote the poem in1804, after all he should know! How the time span of three years came about is a little puzzling; however, a clue may lay in the fact that the poem was first published in 1807 in ’Poems in Two Volumes,’ making 1807 the more notable date. Surprisingly, the two lines which Wordsworth himself said were the best two lines of the poem....... ‘They flash upon that inward eye Which is the bliss of solitude’........ was in fact a contribution by his wife Mary. Wordsworth revised his poem in 1815 and changed a few of the words to give us the poem we know today. Mary’s two lines were never altered cementing Wordsworth generosity in acknowledging these lines to his wife. Apart from being a beautiful spring flower the daffodil stands tall in other ways. It is the national flower for Wales and is worn on St David’s Day (1st March). It is also the emblem of the Marie Curie Nurses as it symbolizes ‘rebirth and new beginnings.’ In England it has a long association with Lent and is often referred to as ‘the Lent Lily.’ However, one remembers the humble daffodil it does herald the beginning of spring and lifts the spirit as it dances away in the breeze to look forward to, hopefully, a glorious summer. © Henrietta Wainsworth

Happy Birthday Yatesy for the 7th April

from everybody in Ampthill

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Page 23

Your advertisement in The Fuddler is only a click away! If you have decided that you too would like an advert in The Fuddler all you have to do to book your space is to send an email over to martin@thefuddler.com for all the details Happy Birthday to ‘Fenny’ for the 4th April!

With The Imp

1. ‘There's three hitchhikers over there, you'll never get three people in a car.’ 2. ‘I don’t eat game but I eat venison.’ 3. ‘ I ' m w o r k i n g t w o Saturdays next week.’ 4. ‘With the time difference they were a year ahead.’ 5. ‘I don’t like to fly, I prefer using public transport.’ 6. ‘Would you like some tomato sauce or ketchup?’ 7. ‘I didn't leave with him, we just left together.’ 8. ‘Would you like milk with your sugar?’ Thanks again Imp

By Henry Flagstaff Gladys has been very kind and popped to the library for me as I have been taking turns to walk the cat. Anyway, knowing that I enjoy James Patterson’s novels she triumphantly returned clutching a book entitled ‘7th Heaven’ by the aforementioned author who co-wrote the tome with Maxine Paetro.

A series of arson attacks had broken out in San Francisco and it was up to Detective Lindsay Boxer and the team to find the culprit. But as the main cover said ‘How do you catch a deadly fire starter when the trail has gone cold?’ Absolutely gripping stuff, believable characters and a brilliant twist at the end! I shall find more!

Happy Birthday Martin B. for the 22nd

Birthday greetings to Roger for the 7th April

Hello everybody! I am an actress playing one of the lead roles in a powerful and very absorbing US legal and political drama, the latest series of which is currently being shown on your televisions. Answer at the foot of the page.

Maulden Garage Ltd FOR ALL YOUR VEHICLE NEEDS Modern Classic or Vintage Repairs, Servicing, Breakdowns, Fabrication, Tyres, Exhausts Classic Rally Car Preparation and on event service support

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When responding to an advert please say you found it in The Fuddler!

Christine Baranski - The Good Fight

Unit 10 Woodside Clophill Road Maulden Beds MK45 2AE www.mauldengarage.co.uk mauldengarage@btconnect.com


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KINGS ARMS PATH GARDENS, AMPTHILL These beautiful gardens are open on the last Sunday of the month from January until October from 2.30 until 5.00pm Adults £1.00 admission under 16’s free Plants for sale. Refreshments available. A Good Nights Sleep. Sleepless nights are never welcome, but keeping animals at anytime will entail at some point involve lost sleep. Dogs teething, snoring so loud that one's partner gets blamed, cats deciding your pillow is the best sleeping spot, and unless you cover up your pet bird, they will sing or talk all night, or the dog that sneaks into your bed, which is much better than theirs. Wonder how many pet owners get injured falling out of bed because the dog has took over the bed. One friend his pet guinea fowls

broke his marriage up, the wife heard him coming in late, very late, once too often, as the noise of the birds woke her up. How many times does your adorable cat wake you up to go out or come in, or frighten you by tapping on the window to be let in. So as pet owners we dream of a decent night's sleep. The barking began, didn't stop, so Sam Ilex got up to investigate. No one about, must have been a late homegoer. Outside light on. Back to bed. Since Sam Ilex "could sleep on a washing line" soon back to sleep, snoring as always! Barking

OUTSIDE BAR AVAILABLE FOR ALL OCCASIONS Weddings, parties Ͳ you name it! Please call 079012 090023 email: j.harrisjjp@gmail.com commenced. Up again. Looking over the drive to the dogs run and house, (had been poorly so confined to outdoors). The dog was pacing up and down, just an excited bark. By now every one out of bed looking out of the window. Look, look, that's what has been upsetting the dog. A Fox was pacing along the run just as the dog mimicked its actions. This went on for some time. Fascinating. Next moment coming down the drive appeared the black Labrador dog from Denel End Farm, who spotted the Fox, who

Don’t forget - if you have missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

attempted to leave the scene, however the two faced each other, no gravel flew, the Fox rolled over onto its back, the farm dog inspected the prone Fox, having a good sniff. The pair having displayed no interest in each other went their ways. The Fox crying as it hurried under the hedge the farm dog turned round walked back up the drive, to continue its late night walk. None of us couldn't wait to tell the late night time antics of the farm dog to the farmer and his wife. But wait we will, back to hopefully a restful rest of the night ! D.O.T.


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With Lauren Louella Boughalls

Greetings to everyone and welcome to another picture poser! Very many thanks to everybody who had a go at last month’s challenge and congratulations to John, Piers, Sue, Mick and everyone else who correctly identified the photograph as the lovely village of Millbrook. Now once again one of our readers has been kind enough to send in this month’s picture challenge which we are delighted to bring you rather splendid old photograph of a lovely scene in Fuddlerland. Many thanks for sending this one to us! But do you recognise it and where it might be?

If you think you know drop us an email to martin@thefuddler.com Answer next month!

ote: Diary n

ook up b o t e m t ti Brillian ition! d e y a M ing for s i t r e v d a ler.com d d u f e h artin@t m l i a m E tails. e d e h t l fro al

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Page 26

Here we delve more into the whimsical, wacky and interesting world of Montgolfier: I am reading General Chuck Yeager’s book and found the fastest he ever flew was 31 miles per second. So he could go from Land’s End to John O Groats in 2 seconds under half a minute. Try beating that on your bike. Driving out of Fuddlerland into the next county my petrol light came on so I thought I would stop at a petrol station on the Leighton Buzzard by pass. I got there and the garage had disappeared from the face of the earth - there was just a metal fence enclosing where it used to be. Driving back even the Police station had disappeared there was just a wooden fence. I filled up at another petrol station and on leaving I passed a sign saying ‘Exit - see you soon’. I hope it would be longer than that. At least 250 miles. We see the Lloyds Bank black horse on the TV ads and when I see him in his stable he always comes and leans his head over the door to be stroked and I have a chat with him. I went into a roadside restaurant for a breakfast. When I left I wrote in the Visitor's book: ‘Look after your chef he fries the best plastic egg in the country’. You see lots of twin lambs in the fields but none are identical. Other than human beings the only other creature to have identical twins is the Aardvark. We see archaeologists using ordinary tooth brushes on digs. Why don’t they move with the times and use electric ones? Perhaps they would need long extension leads.

Happy Birthday to Peter for the 15th April, from your younger brother!

ARE YOU SEEKING A CHALLENGE? Citizens Advice Mid Bedfordshire is looking for volunteers who would like the opportunity to learn new skills and develop existing ones. Located at offices in Ampthill and Biggleswade with satellites at Sandy and Stotfold, Citizens Advice assessors and advisers interview clients face to face and on the telephone. They help people with a wide range of problems including debt, benefits, housing, employment and family matters. Advisers receive free formal accredited training with all expenses paid. As well as advice-giving, the service has volunteering roles for fundraising, research and campaigns, book-keeping and social media. We are also looking for new trustees and would welcome anyone with accountancy skills. All sorts of people volunteer for the CAB, but one thing that unites them all is that they find it challenging, rewarding and varied – and you never stop learning. If you would like further information please email us recruitment@midbedscab.cabnet.org.uk or call us on 01525 404715. We will then send you more details about the various roles and how to apply. Don’t forget - if you have missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com


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Episode 71 ........ Trains, Planes & Automobiles (and boats) Pt. 2 Harris On the 1st of February my lady friend turned over the calendar to see our location for that month, then called me straight away. "Oh dear" she exclaimed, "I think our calendar picture project has hit a snag". "Why's that" I asked"? February's location was a beach on Harris in the Outer Hebrides, neither of us had never been to the Inner Hebrides, that alone the Outer ones. This was going to take some planning. So after a fair bit of research I managed to book a rail journey from London Kings Cross direct to Inverness ... a journey of just a few minutes under 8 hours. However, the part of the journey from Newcastle to Inverness goes through some truly beautiful country. We had a night booked in a pretty reasonable hotel along the River Ness. After a good night's sleep and a hearty breakfast we took the Scotrail crosscountry train from Inverness to Kyle of Lochalsh. 2 hours and 30 minutes later we had arrived in the Kyle, again passing through some really wonderful country. But this was nothing to what awaited us soon. We had to get the coach from the Kyle next morning, that would get us to the ferry in Uig on the far side of the Isle of Skye in the Inner Hebrides. After a nice meal in the Hebrides Hotel and another good night's sleep, we gathered our stuff together and made for the coach stop. The previous afternoon we popped into the local library, where a very nice and helpful lady printed off the coach timetable, for the return leg, and sold us our coach tickets. She also looked up the coastguard information to see if the ferry was scheduled to sail, it was, but the weather could change quickly. With only one coach running and one ferry sailing

per day, it was vital our connections were made. There was a comedy moment when the coach turned up at the Kyle, as the driver said there would be a short 10 minute break here. The coach had originally left from Glasgow earlier that morning. An elderly man got off and told the driver he was going for a stroll. "I will leave in 10 minutes ... on time" he informed the man. Just on 10 minutes an elderly lady came out of the onboard restroom and sat down. The driver sat down, closed the doors and set off. "Oh dear", the lady exclaimed, "I've lost my husband". As we went round the turning area and were about to hit the road, the totally oblivious missing husband appeared and the driver stopped to let him on. I'm not totally sure the driver would have turned back to get him. Nowadays you get to Skye via a large road bridge. The geology of the island was completely alien to me, truly spectacular, and it looked like Lord of the Rings could have been filmed there, with mountains, lakes and coves round every corner. We arrived in Uig a couple of hours later to find out the ferry was there and was sailing on time. We purchased our tickets and in no time we were in open water heading to the Isles of Harris and Lewis in the Outer Hebrides. We arrived another 2 hours later and after nearly 2 and a half days we arrived at our destination. We were spending 2 days and 3 nights and after spending 1 day getting our picture on a truly magical beach in the West of Harris, and a further day in Lewis, we set off on the Monday morning to do the return journey. We had no idea where the March location will be, so watch this space. "Lochaber no more, Sutherland no more, Lewis no more, Skye no more" The Proclaimers ... to be continued

APRIL 2019 Sunday Stroll 7 April at 10.30am About 2 hours. Booking not required. Free but donations welcome. 01234 767037 Symbol Spot Trail Tuesday 9 April 10am to 4pm Adventures in the Park with Captain Alice Sessions 9.30am, 11.30am, 2pm £6 per child 01234 767037 or www.marstonvale.org/events Storytelling Tea in the Woods Wednesday 10 April 10am to 4pm £8 per person (adults have to pay) includes refreshments. Suitable for age 5 upwards. 01234 767037 or www.marstonvale.org/events Kids Easter Drop In Crafts Thursday 11 April and Tuesday 16 April 10am to 4pm £4 per child (No booking necessary) 01234 767037 or www.marstonvale.org/events Easter Trail Daily from Thursday 18 April to Monday 22 April 10am to 3pm £3 per child (Age 1+) includes trail sheet and chocolate (alternative for special diets). 01234 767037 or www.marstonvale.org/events Hitchin Band Spring Concert Saturday 27 April 7.30pm to 10pm £8 - In Aid of the Lewis Foundation 01234 767037 or www.marstonvale.org/events Volunteer Task - Millennium Country Park Sunday 28 April 10am to 3.30pm anna.charles@marstonvale.org or 01234 76261 Volunteer Task - Grange Estate Tuesday 30 April 10am to 3.30pm darren.woodward@marstonvale.org or 01234 762603. For a full list of events - see www.marstonvale.org/events

Short led walks, all welcome. Need to get more active? This could be just the thing for you. Walks last about an hour and a quarter (some hills). Walk at your own pace in a friendly group. It’s all free - just turn up. Next walks - all start at 10.00am: 5th April 19th April 3rd May

Silsoe, Village Hall car park Knife & Cleaver, Houghton Conquest Maulden Woods, A6 layby

For further information please contact: Lynda on 01234 740788 or at olivetree47@googlemail.com Or Laurie on 01525 403950 or at lalowe@btinternet.com or see http://ampthillhealthwalks.blogspot.co.uk

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