The Fuddler August 2016

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Est. 2002

Dawn Smith Dog Holidays Overnight stays and holiday care in our home - a great alternative to kennels.

Walks in the local countryside Est 1998 Collection available

Hello once again everyone and a massive summery welcome to this very busy August edition of your Fuddler!

As always we very much hope you will enjoy the issue - there’s loads of local information inside, lots of stories, the usual fun and

Mobile: 07789 585766

nonsense and of course please look carefully at those important messages from our advertisers as you never know what you might find in The Fuddler!

If you decide that you too would like to advertise with us, just ping us an email to martin@thefuddler.com

RIDGMONT STATION

www.dogholidays.vpweb.co.uk alfred.smiths@btinternet.com Overnight Stays

Tea Rooms

Sick PC or laptop?

Call the Doc for Hardware & software Diagnosis & treatment

01525-402227 john.stafford@compu-doc.co.uk

A delightful hidden gem!

C&R PEST MANAGEMENT x 40 Yrs experience x Fully Insured x Special Rates for OAPS! Wasps, Rats, Mice, Rabbits, Moles, etc Free Estimate 01525 450046 07500 431131

CAFÉ MENU x A selection of teas, coffees and soft drinks x Home made cake and scones x Cream teas are our speciality! x Please note we are closed on Mondays

FRESHLY MADE FOOD ...

x Hot soups and jacket potatoes x A selection of fresh sandwiches x Toasted paninis x Plus lots more! x Great value and a friendly service! x Small Birthday parties

RIDGMONT STATION | STATION ROAD | RIDGMONT T: 01525 287 120 M: 07861 732 850

Riverside Beer Garden open all day Saturday and Sunday Enjoy our Express Lunch

from £6.95 served 12.00 - 2.30pm www.bangkoklounge.com When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re online too at www.thefuddler.com!

NEED AN ELECTRICIAN? NIC-EIC Registered All electrical work Testing and Certification Free Estimates AMPTHILL ELECTRICAL SERVICES

01525 632921 07977173452

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ĞůĞďƌĂƚŝŶŐ ϰϬ LJĞĂƌƐ ŝŶ ďƵƐŝŶĞƐƐ ϭϵϳϲ Ͳ ϮϬϭϲ

tŝŶĚŽǁƐ hWs Θ ůƵŵŝŶŝƵŵ Zϵ tŝŶĚŽǁƐ sĞƌƚŝĐĂů ^ůŝĚŝŶŐ tŝŶĚŽǁƐ

ŽŶƐĞƌǀĂƚŽƌŝĞƐ

džĐĞůůĞŶƚ ƚŚĞƌŵĂů ŝŶƐƵůĂƚŝŽŶ ƌĞĚƵĐŝŶŐ ĞŶĞƌŐLJ ĐŽƐƚƐ͘ tĂƌŵĞƌ ŝŶ ƚŚĞ ǁŝŶƚĞƌ ŵŽŶƚŚƐ͘ ŽŽůĞƌ ŝŶ ƐƵŵŵĞƌ ŵŽŶƚŚƐ͘ ƵĂů ĂĐƚŝŽŶ ƐĞůĨͲĐůĞĂŶ ŐůĂƐƐ͘

ŽŽƌƐ ƌĂŶŐĞ ŽĨ ůƵŵŝŶŝƵŵ ĂŶĚ hWs ŽŽƌƐ͘

No ǁŝŶĚŽǁ Žƌ ŐůĂnjŝŶŐ ũŽď ƚŽŽ ƐŵĂůů͘

&Žƌ Ăůů LJŽƵƌ ǁŝŶĚŽǁ͕ ĚŽŽƌƐ ĂŶĚ ĐŽŶƐĞƌǀĂƚŽƌLJ ŶĞĞĚƐ ĐĂůů ƵƐ ŶŽǁ Žƌ ǀŝƐŝƚ ŽƵƌ ǁĞďƐŝƚĞ͘ Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

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Steve Wildmanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s High Quality Carpet, Upholstery, Rug and Leather Suite Cleaning Service Tel: BartonͲLeͲClay 01582 882620

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Saturday 10th September is the date for this yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Flitton and Greenfield Gala Day which is held at Flitton & Greenfield Village Hall and Recreation Ground, Greenfield Road, Flitton MK45 5DR. The event is from 1.00pm until 5.00pm, and admission is free.

The Flitton and Greenfield Gala is an annual event to raise funds for the village hall and is a fun day for all to enjoy. This yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s theme is â&#x20AC;&#x153;Team GB Rioâ&#x20AC;?. The opening of the Gala starts with the Gala Queen's vehicle procession through Greenfield, Flitton and Wardhedges from 12.45pm and the crowning of the Gala Queen in the village hall at 1pm. Activities include Army Cadet Corps of Drums, Ampthill singers, Zumba, Ampthill Town Band, Jazzercise, Affinity Tribal Belly Dancers, Imajica Theatre Company, Kids Olympics, Colour an Olympic mascot, Bring a fruit animal/garland, Pickles and chutneys competition, Football tournament, Grand raffle, Stalls, Tug of war and many more attractions. Licensed Bar, BBQ, Hot drinks, Cakes and Ice Cream. A great day out for all the family! Come dressed in Carnival Costumes!

For more information all enquiries contact Simon Sadler on 01525 861727 or flittonsadler1@btinternet.com or Margaret Lowe on 01525 861111.

Facebook: Flitton & Greenfield Village Events.

â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;The See-Saw Club is for the blind and partially sighted and is held every Tuesday afternoon 2-4pm, at Katherine Gardens Ampthill. The club membership varies between 15-20 and we meet to have a cup of tea, chat, play Bingo and generally enjoy ourselves. I can guarantee our game of Bingo is unique and second to none in its originality! The main aim is to have fun, be with like minded people and not take life too seriously.

The club has two volunteer organisers, one of whom is temporarily unable to continue her role due to ill health, so we are looking for someone to step into the breach to enable the club to continue to run smoothly.

If you are someone who enjoys a laugh, has a good sense of humour and could spare two hours a week to help us out that someone could be you! Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m sure you would find it very rewarding. If you are interested please contact Jacquie McGuinness Telephone Number 01525 403522â&#x20AC;&#x2122; The next meeting is on Tuesday 20th September, 2016 at 7.30pm at the Addison Centre in Kempston. The speaker will be Margaret Badley on â&#x20AC;&#x153;Eleanor, by the Wrath of God, Queen of Englandâ&#x20AC;?. Tea and biscuits will be served.

If you decide to come you will have a warm welcome. For more information contact Betty Thomas on 01480 861 421

New pop up Barbers every Friday Flitwick Market (Haircuts in Village Hall)

DH Cox & Sons General Builders x x x x x

Over 30 yearsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; experience Local friendly services Can undertake all aspects of building and maintenance to an exceptional standard No job too small Free & competitive quotes

Call Dave 07976 766143 or 01525 841670 dhcoxbuilding@hotmail.co.uk When you advertise in The Fuddler - youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re online too at www.thefuddler.com!

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LORD DEE’S PONDERINGS

Good news from the eastern meadows. Now that we have had a considerably drier period everything is gradually coming back into order.

The water feature no longer look as if it is about to overflow and Duster IV is no longer getting lost in the long grass. The Hall is once again regaining its resplendence!

Ciao

A BRIANISM If you look like your passport photograph you are probably too ill to travel.

Accounts, Payroll, Bookkeeping, Tax, Business Advice ... and much more.

Ring to book a free, noͲobligation meeting today!

114 High Street, Cranfield, Beds, MK43 0DG 01234 752566 info@vowles.co.uk www.vowles.co.uk

Across: 1 Strong, 4 Hinted, 7 Pedagogue, 9 Sten, 10 Slug, 11 Deter, 13 Noises, 14 Robber, 15 Breton, 17 Sacred, 19 Yodel, 20 Lied, 22 Step, 23 Rosinante, 24 Revere, 25 Export

Down: 1 Season, 2 Oxen, 3 Grapes, 4 Hooker, 5 Nous, 6 Dagger, 7 Perimeter, 8 Elaborate, 11 Decoy, 12 Royal, 15 Bolder, 16 Novice, 17 Sedate, 18 Depict, 21 Dove, 22 Stop

Jonathan’s Interior Decorating Services Painting, Wallpapering, Tiling

“The Fuddler” is published by MDA Publications. The views expressed herein are not necessarily those of the publisher. No part of this publication may be copied in any form or by any means without written permission of the Publisher. Copyright MDA Publications.

Like to book an ad, or ask about our absurdly low rates please ring Martin on

Est 1999

Based in Lower Shelton Bedfordshire

Fully Insured and references available.

Please call 07968 659877 or 01234 767597 to arrange a quote.

Or if you prefer, drop us an email to martin@thefuddler.com

No chimney? No problem!

If your home doesn’t have a chimney, it can still be possible to install a fireplace or stove using a twin wall flue system.

Receive 10% off selected stoves & fireplaces with this ad before 31 August AMPTHILL

FIREPLACES

1 Bedford Street, Ampthill, Beds, MK45 2LU Call us: 01525 841199 www.ampthillfireplaces.co.uk Email us: moreinfo@ampthillfireplaces.co.uk facebook.com/ampthillfireplaces

@AmpthillFires

*Discount applies only to cost of the appliance being installed in homes without a chimney using the twin wall system. Offer excludes installation, materials and parts. Ampthill Fireplaces reserve the right to withdraw this offer at any time.

Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

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When you advertise in The Fuddler - youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re online too at www.thefuddler.com!

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AMPTHILL ACCOUNTANCY TUTORS

ELECTRICAL • DOMESTIC • INDUSTRIAL • COMMERCIAL

ONE TO ONE TUITION COVERING ALL AAT UNITS and F1, F2, F3, F7 ACCA

24 HR CALLOUT AVAILABLE

PGCE Qualified Tutor

All electrical work undertaken

Call 07790 672699

email: supaspark@tiscali.co.uk

Email derek_story@yahoo.co.uk

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Sandra’s been busy again looking through her big book of words (dictionary?) and brings us the word below. (Nothing to do with the crossword.) Just look at the hexagon and see whether or not the word jumps out at you!

(Answer at the bottom of the page if it doesn’t!)

R

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Here’s another of Marjorie’s fine crosswords for our entertainment Across: Down: 1 Snooze (6) 1 Breath sweetening sweet (6) 4 Engross (6) 2 Christmastide (4) 7 Deceit (9) 3 Hawk door to door (6) 9 Drag (4) 4 Sector (anag) (6) 10 Horse’s foot (4) 5 Accompanying (4) 11 Anxiety (5) 6 Purloin (6) 13 Dishonest (6) 7 Throng (9) 14 Speaker (6) 8 N.E. County (9) 15 Measurement standard (6) 11 Financial inspection (5) 17 A bit (6) 12 Long tailed parrot (5) 19 Flung (5) 15 Gull’s cry (6) 20 Expansive (4) 16 Form of payment (6) 22 Type of lily (4) 17 Alcove (6) 23 Expressiveness (9) 18 Brouhaha (6) 24 Peek (6) 21 Dash (4) 25 Emphasis (6) 22 Type of tree (4)

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Garage Door Solutions Ltd Your local garage door expert for:

Replacements, Repairs and Spares x All makes & designs available x 24 Hour repair service x No call out charge x All work guaranteed x Free quotations Call us now on: 01525 721615 / 07761 093468 Website: www.garagedoorsolutionsltd.co.uk Or see the yellow pages

3, Woodcock Walk, Flitwick, Bedfordshire, MK 45 1RD

Inspector

Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

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DĂƌƚĂ ƐƉŝŐĂ ;tŝůůƐ͕ WƌŽďĂƚĞ Θ dƌƵƐƚƐͿ

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When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re online too at www.thefuddler.com!

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ALL BRICKWORK AND REPAIRS PLUS REPOINTING No job too small Please ring Joe 01525 404334 With The Duchess of Troll Reflections in the Dewpond.

The Photo Album 'The Old House'

The Old biscuit tin's contents were giving The Five Old Boys a most pleasant afternoon as they mulled through the photos, especially the sepia ones, remembering times past, and Howie seemed much simpler, even rosier, yet how life was hard. Women spent all day washing on a Monday, the copper in the scullery, or outside wash house, was hot and damp, sheer hard work turning the mangle to squeeze every last drop of water out of the never ending pile of wet washing.

Hanging out the pressed washing on the wiped clean line, getting a lunch for the family, and those

who walked home from work.

Then spending all afternoon ironing, with a heavy black iron hotted on the open fire or range.

Then getting an evening meal ready. That was just Monday's.

One of the faded sepia just shows the scullery, but as The Mrs Sam told the Five Old Boys she cannot remember what it looked like inside, was that where the copper was or was it in the barn the other side of the cottage? Children weren't allowed in the scullery or the barn so memories are of looking in at doorways. But like most children the smell of freshly washed clothes, the blue bag (made whites whiter, also good for wasps stings) and the precisioned ironed washing were well remembered. The thoughts of the mice that inhabited the space under the stairs just near the ever

Who has your keys??

When was the last time you replaced your locks?

All lock work undertaken from installation to repairs and maintenance. All major cards accepted.

Call your local locksmith today!

TELEPHONE: 01525 721001 www.lockmastersmobile.co.uk office@lockmastersmobile.co.uk open scullery door was enough to deter any child's curiosity.

The Five Old Boys giggled at the thought of The Mrs Sam being scared of anything! That room always seemed a hive of activity.

A mystery to this day!

Like the scullery, children were not allowed in the attached barn, The Mrs Sam felt it might have been the coal and wood store, faint memories of the smell of coal, it would make sense for that to house the copper. A Mystery to this day! Why when you spend so much time in a place the tiniest details you cannot recall! ?

The Stables The Mrs Sam told were easier to recall, that's where the hens roosted at night, the clucking of the hens told you that she had laid an egg, still warm to the touch, and with a distinctive smell all of it's own, then as a child couldn't wait to collect

from the sweet smelling straw, to have that so freshly laid egg for lunch, boiled, put in your own personal eggcup, top cut off with a teaspoon, lightly peppered and salted with the village baked bread, cut into soldiers spread with Consumers (Ampthill grocery shop , much missed) butter. All The Old Boys felt the same, shop eggs never taste like your own hen's eggs. Mind you thank goodness people are starting to keep hens again, and making henhouses, and super designs too, said Sam Ilex, an expert at shed making, who thought the hens don't mind so long as they are safe from marauding foxes, and nowadays wild mink. Will tell you sometime about me and The Mrs Sam about a henhouse, as a plate of doorstep bread and damson jam sandwiches appeared.

D.O.T.

Maulden Garage Ltd FOR ALL YOUR VEHICLE NEEDS Modern Classic or Vintage Repairs, Servicing, Breakdowns, Fabrication, Tyres, Exhausts Classic Rally Car Preparation and on event service support Unit 10 Woodside Clophill Road Maulden Beds MK45 2AE www.mauldengarage.co.uk mauldengarage@btconnect.com

01525 862877 Free local delivery and collection service

Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

Page 9

The George Inn George Street Maulden Bedfordshire, MK45 2DF T: 01525 841 559 www.thegeorgemaulden.com @thegeorgemaulden

Lovingly restored and welcoming you from the beginning of August 2016. #HomeFromHome When you advertise in The Fuddler - youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re online too at www.thefuddler.com!

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FARMERS MARKETS The Farmers Market in Woburn is held on the third Sunday of every month from 10.00 - 2.00 at The Pitchings, whilst Ampthill Farmers Market is held on the last Sunday of each month from 11.00 - 2.00 at the rear of Natwest Bank in Ampthill.

ARE YOU WORKING FROM HOME?

Why not place an economical ad like this in The Fuddler and let everyone know what you do?

Just email all the details to martin@thefuddler.com

Don’t forget The Charter Market in Ampthill every Thursday and Flitwick Market on Fridays!

Oh ! Hi Bri !

With Jimmy The Voice JTV has been frantically doing some DIY and has cut up these planks of wood to add to the decking outside.

He reckons there are 30 pieces here ...

... however, we reckon there are only 21 pieces!

But what do you think?

By Julio Van Peebles Julio’s worries and useless facts: 1) Who can remember Phensic?

2) Did you know that when England won the World Cup in 1966, the referee was from Switzerland?

3) Has anyone ever been 4 sheets to the wind?

4) Did you know that women look their oldest at 3.30 on Wednesdays?

5) How long is a cotton picking minute?

6) Did you know that you can be fined for cycling furiously?

To my darling Hubby, thank you for a blissful 2nd year of marriage on the 16th August!

A very Happy Birthday to ‘The Duchess’ for the 21st August

love your dutiful wife xxx

all my love George xx

A very Happy Birthday for the 7th August!

17th August A very Happy Birthday to Susan! lots of love Jim, Richard and of course The ‘B’ Man xxx

THE JOLLY COOPERS

Traditional Country Village Pub and Restaurant Summer has finally arrived!! The sun is shining and the garden is looking wonderful and what’s more people are sitting out there enjoying it.

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August brings our 3 Beer Festival so put the bank holiday dates in your diary to visit The Jolly Coopers – the place to be!

Sat Aug 27th The beer festival starts here with a wide and varied selection of real ales, both in our beer tent and on the pumps in the bar plus ciders & perry – something for everyone’s taste

Sun 28th is our Charity day – we try and raise some money for our nominated charities of the year KEECH HOSPICE & THE BRITISH HEART FOUNDATION. There will be live music in the garden, and new for this year some fun inflatables for the more adventurous, plus Ian & Dave will be manning the pig roast & BBQ. Great beer, great food in the best location with music & fun – can’t beat that! ENJOY!!

In the eve from 8.30 Karaoke let the party continue.

Mon 29th More food & Beer in the garden.

Bobbi and Ian look forward to seeing you soon

You can always check what is going on at jollycoopersflitton.co.uk

THE JOLLY COOPERS, WARDHEDGES, FLITTON, BEDS TEL: 01525 860626 Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

Page 11

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GLAZING REPLACED x DRAUGHTY WINDOWS

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CALL FOR A FREE QUOTATION OR ADVICE

TELEPHONE: 01525 718432

www.aatripleglazing.co.uk

Why work your way to a considered conclusion when jumping to one saves so much time.

Keep a thing seven years and it’s bound to come in handy.

My friend’s husband is so silly that he needs instant replay on TV sports because after 30 seconds he has forgotten what happened.

We weren’t rubbish. The Accrington Stanley under 13’s second eleven are a hard nut to crack.

I’m not clumsy it is just that the floor hates me.

An important lesson I’ve learnt from watching the movies is that a man will show no pain while taking the most terrific beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

What do sheep count when they can't get to sleep?

You know you have had too much coffee when you can type sixty words a minute with your feet.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

I’m very good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know why.

dgs accountants SELF EMPLOYED TAX AND ACCOUNTS

SUFFERING WITH ACCOUNTS BLUES? STUPIFIED WITH TAX RETURNS? STRUGGLING WITH TAX REMINDERS?

Call 07790 672699 Email derek_story@yahoo.co.uk For your free consultation

1 Loch Morar, 2 Margaret Erskine, 3 Tooth, 4 Paper measure, 5 Mole, 6 Dunnet Head, 7 Lonliness, 8 Fish, 9 Arnold of Soissons 10 Quebec

Babs decided that she wanted a whole new look so booked an appointment at her local hairdresser.

She duly arrived at the appointed time, made herself comfortable in the chair and waited with anticipation as the hairdresser approached.

After about 30 minutes of gentle snipping and making small talk about the holidays and the weather, the hairdresser said she had finished. She held up a mirror to show Babs her work asking if she liked it.

‘It’s great but could you make it a little longer at the back?’ said Babs, sensibly.

1. What is the deepest lake in the UK? 2. Who created ‘Inspector Septimus Finch’?

3. Where would you find the ‘Pulp Canal’?

4. What is a ‘Haven Cap’?

5. A ‘Labour’ is the collective name for which creature?

6. What is the Northernmost part of Great Britain?

7. I f y o u s u f f e r e d f o r m ‘Ermitophobia’, of what would you be afraid?

8. What sort of creature is a ‘Cichlid’?

9. Who is the Patron Saint of ‘Hop Pickers’?

10.Where in Canada is there a town called ‘Saint-Louis-du-Ha!Ha!’?

Guttering Problems?

Gutters Cleaned.

Leaking Gutters repaired.

New Gutters Fitted.

All by a friendly local established company Call Rob on 01525 552066 or 07977 206403

Bradnam Guttering

When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re online too at www.thefuddler.com!

Page 12

T Butlin Building and Plastering Est 1987

www.timbutlinbuilders.co.uk

26 years in business For your extensions, renovations, alterations, Upvc fascias / soffitts, guttering, block paving and all plastering including artex ceilings and walls plastered back to flat.

Tel: 01525 405670 / Mob: 07778 680393

Also offering: Impressions Female decorators

Here are some more of your splendid photos of The Fuddler on it’s travels! On the left this month we have Sir Peter ‘Jock’ Davis reading his Fuddler in a bar at Varna in Bulgaria, and below a lovely picture of Hannah and Caroline with their Fuddler at Ocean Beach, Denmark, Perth, Western Australia.

Thanks again!

If you have any pictures of a Fuddler being read away from home please send them in to martin@thefuddler.com

All aspects of painting and decorating.

With female finesse to make the most of your home Tel 01234 751282 or 01525 405670 / Mob: 07944 710179

12 Sundon Road Harlington Beds LU5 6LS

August Bank Holiday Weekend 2016

BURGER FESTIVAL Come along and try some of our fantastic HOMEMADE BURGERS - BIGGER AND EVEN TASTIER

For Reservations Call: 01525 872384 Normal Menu also available www.thecarpentersarmsharlington.com

Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

Page 13

The sun has got it’s hat on hip hip hip hooray, So come and rush to your local McCool’s and purchase some cold beers today.

We also have chilled wine on sale every day, So while the sun has it’s hat on, why not grown ups come out to play.

We also have cold drinks for children and ice cream too, So come and see the selection, we have plenty from which you can choose.

But don’t worry if it’s raining and you don’t know what to do; We have a great range of puzzle books that will amuse you.

So, the sun has got it’s hat on hip hip hip hooray You better rush to your local McCool’s before the sun goes away.

And just before I finish there’s still a few things on my mind, I must tell you about the great range of alcohol and the great deals that one can find.

We also sell wines, beers and spirits, lagers and ciders too, So pop into your local McColl’s convenience store, where we are waiting to serve you.

I think that’s it from me now, because it’s getting late, Oh I nearly forgot to tell you that we stay open now till 8 lol MCCOLL’S - YOUR LOCAL CONVENIENCE STORE 17 CHURCH STREET AMPTHILL TELEPHONE: 01525 404096 OPEN: MON-SAT 6AM TO 8PM SUNDAY 7AM TO 8PM

HOLIDAY LET IN THE LAKE DISTRICT OF COUNTY MAYO IRELAND Ͳ LAKE VIEW LODGE, PONTOON

This 3 Bedroom Bungalow is set in extensive gardens, complete with its own stream and enjoys stunning lake and mountain views.

This famed Angling destination a t t r a c t s fisherman from many corners of the globe. Foxford Town Centre is home of the Tiernan Brothers who have been serving Anglers for four Generations. www.themoy.com

Pontoon nestles between Lough Cullen and Lough Conn. There are a number of sheltered Beaches one of which is the most famous Drummin Wood, which is a mere 3 minutes drive from the property.

Visit Enniscrone which is a 25 minute drive. Snuggled into Sligo’s Coast Line, forming part of the Wild Atlantic Way and boasting a Blue Flag Beach. www.discoverenniscrone.com

The area is ideal for walking holidays and there are a number of Forest and lakeshore walks close by.

For Golf lovers a Trip to Mayo would not be complete without playing at the renowned Carne Golf Links in Belmullett. Include County Sligo, Enniscrone and Connemara on your Itinerary and you will have played all four of the most naturally beautiful Links Courses in the World. www.carnegolflinks.com

Take one of many Cruises on either Lough Corrib with its 365 Islands and take in the stunning views of Ashford Castle. Or take in the views on Clew Bay in the beautiful Town of Westport to include the mighty Croagh Patrick.

Complete Tyre Support

Visit Cong, the Home of the Quite Man Film staring John Wayne. www.virtualtourist.com/travel/Europe/Ireland/County_Mayo/ CongͲ296388/Things_To_DoͲCongͲTGͲCͲ1.html

The more adventurous would love the Kayaking and Stand up P a d d l e B o a r d i n g i n C l e w B a y W e s t p o r t www.theadventureislands.com/WaterͲPoweredͲActivities/seaͲ kayaking.html

Lastly a trip to Mayo would not be complete without a visit to the Wonderful Galway. This Vibrant City has so much to offer, from Theatres and Night Clubs. To a plentiful selection of Traditional Irish Music Bars and Restaurants .

Once you have been to Mayo you will be longing to come back to this truly magical place.

Sleeps 6 Prices from £450.00 per week. Direct Flights from Luton Airport to Knock Airport. Low Cost Flights and cheap car hire make this an excellent value Holiday.

Lake View Lodge is 30 mins from the Airport.

Call us now!

0844 8000 333 www.threecountiestyres.com

Contact Chris or Val for details on either 07455198427 or chris.hackett723@ntlworld.com When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re online too at www.thefuddler.com!

Page 14

Friends of Ampthill’s Christmas Lights are holding a ‘Fun Race Night - With Audience Participation’! The event is to take place on Saturday 17th September at Parkside Hall, Woburn Street, Ampthill. Doors open: 7.00pm / First Race: 7.30pm Tickets: £10 (adults) & £7 (under 12’s). Includes choice of hot chip supper (Fish, Chicken, Sausage or Cheese Pasty). Please bring your own drink & glasses. To book your tickets and order your menu choices contact: Donna - 01525 844171 or Philip – 07904 953096 or Richard - 01525 403141

Tel: 01525 403319 email: engineandtender@live.co.uk Engine & Tender - Bar

THE FOOTBALL SEASON IS ON IT’S WAY! 2 HD screens BT Sport & Sky Sports If it’s on - it’s on here!

BBQ SUNDAY 28th AUGUST

Food served from 2.00pm

Enjoy a bottle of Prosecco for just £16.00 in the sun trap patio!

FANTASTIC FOOD MENU Mon - Fri 12.00 - 2.00pm Mon - Thurs 5.00pm - 8.00pm

QUIZ NIGHT Bank Holiday MONDAY 29th CASH PRIZES

Friends of Ampthill’s Christmas Lights are also holding a Quiz Night, with Lasagne or Bangers & Mash supper (vegetarian option available on request) at The Cross Keys Pub, Pulloxhill on Friday 30th September at 7.30 for 8.00pm.Teams of up to 4 persons - £10.00 each person which includes supper. To enter please call 07904 953096 (eve/weekends) or 01525 844171 (day). All proceeds in aid of Ampthill’s Christmas Lights.

2017 will see our 70th anniversary concert and we are looking for new members to join us for this event. Like many choirs we particularly need more men. If you are a closet Pavorotti or Terfyl come along to our first rehearsal on Monday 12.9 in the music department at Redborne School in Ampthill.

We are a friendly group who enjoy singing, learning new music and having fun. No audition necessary and no subscription for a trial period.

If you are interested please contact Penny Stimson 01234 357750 email i.p.stimson@gmail.com or June Lockley 01525 404238 email lockleyjune@hotmail.com

The compassionate and generous residents of Ampthill, showed how much they care about those who are near death by donating over £2,250 to St. John’s Hospice Moggerhanger, in under a week. The Chairman of the Ampthill Festival Committee Ian Scarr, announced in an emotional speech at Ampthill Proms, that the Ampthill Festival would donate £1,000 to St John’s Hospice, in memory of Brian Young, a long-term member of the Ampthill Festival Committee, who died at St John’s one day before the start of the Ampthill Festival.

Margaret Wilson the Mayor of Ampthill, assisted by “Team Waitrose” and local volunteers, then held a collection at Waitrose Ampthill and raised another £1,250.00 for St John’s.

Margaret Wilson the Lady Mayor of Ampthill told us, “Ampthill has a long and rich tradition of supporting local charities. The monies raised by the collection at Waitrose, together with the £1,000 donated by the Ampthill Festival in memory of Brian Young, means that Ampthill residents donated over £2,250 to St John’s in under a week - enough to pay for one bed for 4½ days. The compassion and generosity of Ampthill residents never ceases to amaze me.”

On being told of the amount raised by residents of Ampthill, Simon Burne of St. John’s Hospice said, “sadly we can’t change the destination for many of our patients, but with the support of our local community we can change their journey”. He went on to thank the residents of Ampthill for their generosity, and Waitrose for allowing St. John’s to hold a collection at their Ampthill store. St. John’s, has been providing care and support to residents of Bedfordshire for over 35 years. It costs over £2.8M p.a. to run St John’s, the vast majority of which is donated by local residents and businesses.

Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

Page 15

When you advertise in The Fuddler - youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re online too at www.thefuddler.com!

Page 16

36 Dunstable Street, Ampthill Telephone 01525 634857 2500+ Ales from April 2010 THE PERMANENT BEER FEST SOUTH BEDS CAMRA PUB OF THE YEAR 2014 Lee Owen (Mr Titanium) Everyone at The Albion is thinking of you.

The Man that may have made Georgian Ampthill was the 2nd Earl of Upper Ossory (1745-1818) who made a significant impact on what makes Ampthill such an attractive market town. Lord Ossory married the divorced Duchess of Grantham, Anne Liddell, after a scandal which resulted in them being ostracised from London Society and confined to Ampthill for most of their time. The Ossorys employed Lancelot ‘Capability’ Brown from 1772-75 and spent a lot of money on landscaping the Park. They also commissioned Katherine’s Cross in 1773 and rebuilt the Market Square and Town Pump.

2016 is Brown’s 300 birthday and the restored Ampthill Great Park is part of the tercentenary celebrations.

You can come and see the impact of The Ossorys & Brown made on the Park by coming on a Guided Tour around Ampthill Great Park on 18th September 2016.

The final Guided Tour of the Park this year will enable you to experience & have explained the Capability Brown features. The Friends of Ampthill Park will take groups around the Park from 10 am to 4pm and show the Capability Brown landscape. The three tours are of varying lengths depending on peoples walking ability.

On Friday 16th of September there is also a one man theatrical show about Capability Brown, “The Eye Catcher”, at Parkside Hall Ampthill starting at 7.30pm. The show by John Cobb, dramatized Brown’s life as probably one of England’s greatest gardeners. Tickets priced £10 are available from Ampthill Town Council email council@ampthilltowncouncil.org.uk Tel. 01525 404355, or The Park Hub and Stationery Boutique Ampthill.

Get yourself better soon The A6 being closed for 6 hours is a record and there’s a bloke in here who says he’ll take what’s left of your motorbike for a fiver!

Take care

Russell and all at The Albion You can’t B&T it!

CAMRA BEDS PUB OF THE YEAR 2013 OUR OTHER PUBS ARE: The Globe, Winfield Street, Dunstable (Bedfordshire Pub of the year 2010) - Tel: 01582 512300 The Wellington Arms, Wellington Street, Bedford (North Beds Pub of the year 2010) - Tel: 01234 308033 The Elm Tree, Orchard Street, Cambridge - Tel: 01223 502632 The Brewery Tap, North Bridge Street, Shefford - Tel: 01462 628448 Seven Stars, Albert Square, Rugby, CV21 2SH - Tel: 01788 561402

www.banksandtaylor.com Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

Page 17

The Crown

Station Rd, Flitwick / MK45 1LA /01525 713737

A Proper Pub for Proper People

Opening Times

Live Music and

Events

(Aug – Sept)

MONDAYTHURSDAY 11.30 - 3 / 5:30 - 11 FRIDAY & SATURDAY 11.30 – MIDNIGHT

Large Beer Garden /

Fri 5th – Karaoke 20th – Jet Black Sat Blues Band th Sat 27 – R’n’R Fri 1st – Karaoke

Sat 24th – Popscene

Also Look out for our BIG events at Halloween, Bonfire Night, Xmas and New Year’s.

All Year round The Crown is the place to be!

Pool table & darts /PingǦ Pong /Traditional HomeǦ Cooked Pub Food / Real Ale / Cocktails

FOOD SERVED EVERYDAY 12 - 2:30 /6-8 OPEN SUNDAY 12 10:30 SUNDAY ROAST FROM 12 TILL 4 *BOOKING ADVISABLE

When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re online too at www.thefuddler.com!

Page 18

HUMAN GIVENS ‘A NEW APROACH’ Ben Keenan

The world of counselling/psychotherapy is a very different place to what it was even ten years ago!

Neurological science has provided insights that when combined with the best of other approaches provides a fast and effective solution focused therapy (SFBT) that is embodied in Human Givens. Treatment does not just mean sitting and endlessly talking, it is also about effectively understanding the issues and providing realistic change.

FREE PRESCRIPTION DELIVERY Can’t get to the chemist or surgery?

Don’t worry, we’ll pick up your prescription from your surgery and deliver your medication to your door.

Covering Ampthill, Clophill, Flitwick, Houghton Conquest, Maulden, Silsoe, Wilstead & surrounding villages.

CHEESEMANS PHARMACY OF AMPTHILL Tel: 01525 402173

Depression, Sleeplessness, Anxiety, OCD, Phobia’s, PTSD, Addiction (drugs, cigarettes, alcohol, food)

These are difficult and sometimes dangerous emotions. For the majority of people they are not biological illnesses but complex arousals that can arise from our spectrum of thought and emotion.

These conditions arise as a result of circumstances preventing our innate needs being met. This gives access to fast, safe, non invasive, and drug free methods of effective treatment in as few sessions as possible, often in weeks not years!

Having had 27 years’ experience of offering emotional support in the voluntary sector, I retrained in the Human Givens approach. Achieving a distinction in the Level 2 Diploma in March 2015 allowed me to start accepting clients. Now operating as an HG.DIP.P Trainee (with supervision) as I work towards a higher level of accreditation. I also carry comprehensive professional insurance.

If you want to learn more, the Human Givens r e s e a r c h i s f r e e l y a v a i l a b l e o n www.humangivens.org. Alternatively, you can contact me for a free initial interview. A fee is payable for treatment but it is very much dependent on ability to pay.

Human Givens means it no longer has to be this way for a great many people.

Ben Keenan Ͳ 07860 195303 or email: benkeenan@ntlworld.com

Hay fever What it is and how can I treat it?

Hay fever is caused by an allergy to pollen. It can affect people from March to October. The symptoms of hay fever runny, itchy and/or blocked nose, sneezing, and itchy eyes are caused by you immune system reacting to the pollen.

Cells on the lining of the nose and eyes release histamine and other chemicals when they come into contact with pollen.

This causes inflammation in the nose and eyes and sometimes the sinuses and throat can also be affected.

Hay fever is very common - it affects 1 in 5 people in the UK and it tends to run in families. But the good news is that in most cases it eventually goes away or improves.

The severity of symptoms can vary from person to person but most of the common symptoms can be treated using a variety of methods.

• Antihistamine nose sprays • Antihistamine tablets • Steroid nose sprays • Eye drops Most of these can be bought at your local pharmacy, supermarket or store. Own brand products are just as effective as branded products and are much more reasonably priced.

They are often cheaper to buy than to have on prescription so avoid asking your GP for them.

Although it is impossible to totally avoid pollen, symptoms tend to be less severe if you reduce your exposure to it: x Stay

indoors as much as possible and keep windows and doors shut x Avoid cutting grass, large grassy places and camping x Shower and wash your hair after being outdoors, especially after going to the countryside x Wear wrap-around sunglasses when you are out x Keep car windows closed, and consider buying a pollen filter for the air vents in your car. These should be changed at every service.

Visit www.nhs.uk for more information on hay fever.

Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

Page 19

ŝĚĞĂů ĞLJĞǁĞĂƌ

dŽƚĂů ĞLJĞ ĐĂƌĞ ĨŽƌ ƚŚĞ ǁŚŽůĞ ĨĂŵŝůLJ ŝŶ ƚŚĞ ŚĞĂƌƚ ŽĨ ƚŚĞ ůŽĐĂů ĐŽŵŵƵŶŝƚLJ͘

hŶŝƚ ϯ ,ŝŐŚĨŝĞůĚ ,ŽƵƐĞ ϭϭϬ dŚĞ ,ĂǁƚŚŽƌŶƐ &ůŝƚǁŝĐŬ D<ϰϱ ϭ&E ϬϭϱϮϱ ϳϭϱϳϱϵ /ĚĞĂůĞLJĞǁĞĂƌ͘ĨůŝƚǁŝĐŬΛŐŵĂŝů͘ĐŽŵ ǁǁǁ͘ŝĚĞĂůĞLJĞǁĞĂƌĨůŝƚǁŝĐŬ͘ĐŽ͘ƵŬ

^ŝŐŚƚ dĞƐƚƐ ŽŶƚĂĐƚ ůĞŶƐĞƐ ^ƵŶŐůĂƐƐĞƐ

'ŽŽĚ ůŽŽŬŝŶŐ ĞLJĞǁĞĂƌ ĨĨŽƌĚĂďůĞ E,^ tĞůĐŽŵĞ

ϬϭϱϮϱ ϳϭϱϳϱϵ ƚŽ Ŭ LJŽƵƌ ĂƉƉŽŝŶƚŵĞŶƚ ƚŽĚĂLJ͘ Ăůů Ϭ

KƚŚĞƌ ŽƉƚŝĐŝĂŶ͛Ɛ ƉƌĞƐĐƌŝƉƚŝŽŶƐ ĂůǁĂLJƐ ǁĞůĐŽŵĞ͘

When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re online too at www.thefuddler.com!

Page 20

DO YOU HAVE A JOB VACANCY?

Times to suit you.

1st assessment FREE 45 mins lessons ALL AGES

Why not place an economical ad like this in The Fuddler and let everyone know?

Just email all the details to martin@thefuddler.com

With Geoffrey THE Golfer Jonathan was 26 over par by the eighth hole; he had landed a fleet of golf balls in the water hazard, and dug himself into a trench fighting his way out of the rough.

When his caddy coughed during a 12-inch putt, Jonathan exploded.

‘You've got to be the worst caddy in the world!’ he screamed angrily.

‘I doubt it,’ replied the caddy. ‘That would be too much of a coincidence.’

Happy Birthday Tash for the 1st August

For further information contact

Guy on 07811 364 328 Happy Birthday ‘Havers’ for the 28th August

With Great Aunt Althea Here we bring you a selection of things that were told to you that you promised yourself you would never pass on to your own kids!

Of course it won’t hurt.

Because I said so!

You wait till your Dad gets home.

We never had mobile phones/play stations when we were young.

I never did that when I was your age.

No. I remember when ...

Take your coat off otherwise you won’t feel the benefit when you get outside.

You’ll poke somebody’s eye out with that.

Do you think money grows on trees?

You’re not going out looking like that!

Put your coat on - you’ll catch your death of cold.

You’d look after it if you had to pay for it.

Make sure you have clean underwear on in case you get run over.

That is not music - it’s just noise.

You don’t know you’re born.

When I was your age ...

Here’s a bit more mischief that a kind reader has sent in:

In the picture below, how many triangle do you think there are?

Answer below

EN E S V! T S A N O

QUIZ NIGHT EVERY WEDNESDAY

Saturday 13th August

Our highly popular quiz is every Wednesday starting at 8.00pm sharp. Come and test your knowledge with our guest Quizmasters everyone welcome.

To celebrate Richard’s sixth year at the helm of The Queen’s Head we are holding a

Help! It’s white to play and mate in two moves! But how? Can you see it?

Please pop in and tell us and whilst you are here have a pint and ask about competing in our chess challenge!

SUNNY WEST TERRACE NOW OPEN! Come and enjoy your drinks on our sun trap West Terrace where you can enjoy the afternoon sun long into the evening!

for him! There will be music, food and more fun than you could shake a stick at!

It all starts at about 7.30 but please don’t tell Richard - it’s the best kept secret in town!

1st Monday of every month

ACOUSTIC NIGHT Come and have a listen or join in if you like!

HAVING A BIT OF A ‘DO’?

Our lounge bar and adjacent function room are perfect for a small ‘soirée’ and are available for your exclusive use! Please give us a ring or call in and have a look and then see Richard to discuss your needs.

Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

40

THIS MONTH’S CHESS PUZZLE

SURPRISE PARTY

Page 21

Want to pay us nothing to sell your home?

Simply instruct Indigo Residential to market your property and we will enter you into our prize draw every month.*

Visit our website www.indigo-res.co.uk

If you are thinking about selling your property please call us for a free market appraisal.

Ampthill & villages: 01525 213321 • Barton Road: 01582 847800 • Stopsley: 01582 512000 • Leagrave: 01582 490696 T&Cs. The draw will take place monthly. All customers marketing their property via Indigo Residential across all four branches will be included continuously until they win the draw or their sale has completed. In order to qualify you must sell your property to a buyer introduced via Indigo Residential. If you are already in a sole agency agreement with another estate agent you must check the terms and conditions to avoid paying two fees, we can advise you on this.

When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re online too at www.thefuddler.com!

Page 22

T.H.E. BEST BUTCHERS

* INTERESTING RANGE OF SPECIALITY SAUSAGES

Telephone (01908) 375275 www.bestbutcher.co.uk

Unit 5, Lower Rectory Farm, Great Brickhill, Milton Keynes, Bucks MK17 9AF

For a Free 1st Class MILK DELIVERY SERVICE TELEPHONE 01525 402206 Please see our website at www.mauldendairies.co.uk We are now delivering to Greenfield, Flitton and Pulloxhill too!

Maulden Dairies Warren Farm, Woburn Street, Millbrook

Here’s a lovely potato dish with a difference!

DE-LUXE POTATOES

I have to admit to feeling somewhat uneasy about the proliferation of coffee shops that are swamping our High Streets up and down the land.

Whilst the quintessential English tea room is a perfectly respectable and innocent establishment the same cannot be said about the coffee shop. They are the starting point of a slippery slope and downward spiral. From coffee shop it is all too easy to progress to some back street speakeasy which is one step away from a bordello or opium den.

Drink tea for your salvation!

For 4-6 people (or just 4 with hearty appetites!) you will need: ¾ kilo potatoes 4 tbsp dry white wine 100 gm streaky bacon 2 onions sliced up and ready ½ green pepper chopped up and ready 100 gm mushrooms sliced up and ready 25gm butter 100 gm grated Cheddar cheese Salt and pepper Chopped parsley to garnish your creation Now this what you do:

Assuming you have more than the 4 tbsp of white wine pour yourself a slurp!

Firstly pre-heat the oven to about 220 deg C. The peel the potatoes and cook in boiling salted water for about 10 - 15 minutes.

Drain, cut into slices and place in the bottom of a casserole dish. Pour the wine over. De rind the bacon and cut into small pieces then chuck in a pan with the melted butter and cook with onions, green pepper and mushrooms until tender.

Season to taste. Spoon mixture over the potatoes and sprinkle with the grated cheese. Cook in the centre of the oven for about 15 minutes.

Serve sprinkled with parsley.

Sounds lovely! Thanks

Happy Birthday Lis for the 15th August

Love Honky xx

with Auntie Vi When I was a child I thought nap time was punishment. Now it's like a mini holiday.

Happy Birthday Auntie Mags for the 11th August xx Here’s a little more whimsy from one of our readers:

I had a dream last night.

A voice said ‘On your marks, get set, go!’ and I woke up with a start.

BOB AMBLER HOME DESIGNS

Enjoy a FREE glass 125ml of house white or red wine when you order a starter and main!

Kitchens – Bedrooms – Home Offices

Carpentry

Replacement Kitchen Doors and Worktops

A complete design, supply & installation service

Free Designs and Quotations

01525 405393 07889 058345

91, Dunstable Street Ampthill Tel: (01525) 404666 Free parking at rear next to garden

www.donatellospizzeria.co.uk

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Page 23

YOUR LOCAL Memory Foam Mattresses Direct from the manufacturer at trade prices!

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Curved & Straight stairlifts available.

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New and used Scooters, part ex welcome.

Wheelchairs, Ramps, Walking Sticks, Grab Rails, Tri-Walkers, Rollators, Bathlifts, Waterproof Clothing & much more.

For more information call us or visit our website at www.comforthomecare.co.uk

WWW.COMFORT MATTRESS.CO.UK When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re online too at www.thefuddler.com!

Page 24

Electrical Contractor Domestic and Industrial Your local Electrical Contractor All types of testing and certification undertaken

FREE QUOTATIONS NICEIC Approved Contractor Working with Ampthill Town Council 11 Cedar Close, Ampthill, Bedford, MK45 2UD

Please telephone: 07903 171384 from TV shows of the time; Benny Hill lived only 10 doors up the road from us but I never saw him, I did see Terry Thomas in Waitrose from time to time but he was very private.

One name you may recall was that of Jim Beck, the spiv, Joe Walker from Dads Army, he was a great guy and before the event recorded in this tale, I had seen him many times in one of the local pubs off Gloucester Road, he was always happy to acknowledge recognition by the public but I don’t suppose I exchanged more than 10 words with him prior to this incident.

My work took me to

WHO ARE YOU? London/ Southampton 1972 After my return from Sicily I returned to my flat in Kensington SW7, and found new work with a microfilm company as a technician servicing BIG cameras, (two tons), all over UK. The flat in Kensington was shared with several folk one of whom joined me later to travel overland to India and beyond.

This part of London was favored by a large number of TV stars including Benny Hill, Terry Thomas, Hugh Griffiths and many other faces you would recognize

Tel & Fax: 01525 714057 Southampton from time to time, servicing the cameras at The Ordinance Survey, during one visit, I needed spares that had to be sent from London and thus I was waiting one morning on the station platform in Southampton for a Red Star delivery.

A train came in, not the one I was waiting for, and out steps Jim Beck, He sees me and says “Hi”, looks at his watch and says “No hurry, fancy a drink?” I was surprised but it seemed an OK plan.

There was a bar very near by and I had a coffee and he had something else, we chatted for a while about nothing in particular until

after about twenty minutes he suggested we should get going; I said “where?”. “To the Docks, where we are filming”. Pause “Aren’t you my driver?

His exclamation at the time is unprintable, he had seen a face he knew, drawn a conclusion and missed his lift to the film set.

A lot later, back in London, we laughed about it.

Prof Reginald V Q De Gama IPA With kind permission from Jim Barr

Happy Birthday Mum (Mabel) for 7th August

lots of love Martin xx

ODD JOBS Home Improvements

Do you have a wish list of outstanding jobs around the home or garden?

Perhaps you think these are too small for specialist trades or you don’t have the time or proper tools We are a friendly local service based in Ampthill specialising in all your small building and DIY requirements around the home and garden.

Further details can be found on my website of the range of who we are, the services we can offer and local work previously done.

Please call Ian to discuss your requirements on 07415 281969 Ͳ Turn DIY into Get It Done www.SandIpropertyservices.co.uk

Building Preservation Specialists x

Damp Proofing

x

Woodworm Treatments

x

Dry / Wet Rot Treatments

x

Basement Waterproofing

Telephone/Fax (01525) 406655 Mobile: 07850 727752 email: Jim@dunritepreservation.co.uk

16 Tavistock Avenue, Ampthill, Bedford. MK45 2RY

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Page 25

An Alternative Way On Your Special Day 07969361041 Info@alternativeweddingvehicles.co.uk www.alternativeweddingvehicles.co.uk When you advertise in The Fuddler - youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re online too at www.thefuddler.com!

Page 26

THE WHITE HORSE Husborne Crawley

Book now for August Bank Holiday Food served 12.00 Ͳ 6.00pm Now serving Great, Fresh, Pub Grub and well kept Real Ales.

Weekly Specials (Booking Advisable) Monday Ͳ 2Ͳ4Ͳ1 Main courses off our à la carte menu

Tuesday Ͳ 'Celebrate the Sausage' Ͳ Build your own Sausage & Mash for just £8.95.

Masquerade Theatre Group is a local community group who are willing to turn their hands to just about anything that'll make a good show! We do musical theatre, serious theatre, one -act plays, sketch evenings, comedy and quiz evenings. We are all ages, and believe in enjoying ourselves off stage too, so we do lots of social stuff, including theatre trips, community support work and treasure hunts.

Our sole aim is to provide an excellent evening’s entertainment; whatever form that may take.

Our next production will be a Pantomime “Puss in Boots” at Parkside Hall, Woburn St, Ampthill, on 14th and 15th January 2017. There will be parts for young adults of all abilities and talents to join the extensive cast.

We will also need a large backstage crew for lighting, sound and stage logistics for this production, so if you want to join in the fun, but don’t like being on stage, we would still love to see you.

If you haven’t done this sort of thing before, please don’t worry, we will give you all the training and help that you may need.

We are holding our first readings on Tuesdays in September at Flitwick Church Chapter House. We will start at 8pm. If you can’t make this date, please let us know, and you are still very welcome to join us at a slightly later date. You can contact us by email at masqueradetheatregroup@gmail.com, or phone Shirley on 07817 528077.

Please keep an eye on our Facebook page for more information.

'August 25th. Happy Anniversary Jilly.

All my love Peter xxx.'

Wednesday Ͳ 'Day of the Steak’ Ͳ 8oz Rump Steak Dinner for only £10,

Thursday Ͳ ‘Blast from the Past’ Ͳ Two classic pub main courses for £15.00.

Choose from our specially created pub menu.

Sunday Ͳ ‘Traditional Sunday Roasts’ Quality, locally sourced produce put together to create one of the best Sunday Roasts in the area.

Gluten free and vegetarian roasts are also available.

Adults £10.95, Children £6.95

Receive sms

message co your booking nfirming the evening befor e you travel.

Getting you there relaxed and stress free!

Your premier airport transfer, taxi company in the Bucks area

(The full À la carte, Vegetarian and Children’s Menu will also be available alongside these offers)

Serving food 7 days a week (Until 9.00pm Monday to Saturday and 12.00 to 6.00pm Sunday)

Matt, Sharon and the team look forward to welcoming you to The White Horse.

Our rates are extremely competitive whilst providing a higher, more reliable level of sevice.

Place your trust in a well established, reputable company where reliability and professionalism are 1st and foremost.

To Book call 01525 280565

The White Horse, 1 Mill Road, Husborne Crawley, Bedford, Mk43 0XE www.whitehorsehusbornecrawley.squarespace.com whitehorsehc@gmail.com.

Don’t forget you can also book your onward travel in over 70 countries around the world from your Arrival Airport to your Resort, City or Hotel of your choice via our website and benefit from the same great reliability.

Book online at www.airportsdirectmk.com T: 01908 22 55 23 or 0800 707 6003 e: info@airportsdirectmk.com

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Page 27

WARDEN ABBEY The community vineyard

With Lauren Louella Boughalls Greetings one and all! Lovely to be with you again and we have to say that not many correctly guessed the location of last month’s bus stop! It is located outside Husborne Crawley Village Hall and right opposite the White Horse public house so well done to Josh, Geoff, Jackie, Steve and everybody else who got it right! Now for this month’s challenge, one of our readers has been out and about around the towns and villages of Fuddlerland and has sent in this photograph for us to identify. But do you recognise it and where it might be?

A Bedfordshire Rural CommuniƟes Charity project

VINEYARD TOURS 2016 Adults £8 Children welcome free

Advance booking only

Fri 26th Aug Fri 30th Sept 11am & 2.30 pm

OPEN DAY Sunday 11th Sept 11am-4pm Wine sales, tours, wine school, local stalls, BBQ, refreshments Including rare chance to visit Warden Abbey building, open courtesy of Landmark Trust No booking required, Adults £2, children free

www.wardenvineyard.org.uk

If you think you know drop us an email to martin@thefuddler.com Answer next month!

MOT TESTING STATION IN AMPTHILL We cater for MOT and Servicing for all your individual requirements whilst also accommodating fleet needs.

Ampthill MOT Centre have a fully featured Class IV MOT testing bay. We launched the service in early 2009, serving Herts, Beds and Bucks. Fully qualified MOT inspectors are available for cars and small vans, with over 40 years experience. Authorised vehicle testing station approved by the vehicle inspectorate.

At Ampthill MOT Centre, we carry out servicing and repairs to all makes and models. To prolong the life of your vehicle it is important that you have it serviced regularly. We service all vehicle types and models, including cars, vans, miniͲcoaches & small plant / equipment. If you have your vehicle serviced with us, it will not invalidate the manufacturer's warranty.

Competitive rates.

Collection & delivery

Fault finding

Code reading / Diagnostics Brakes

Engine rebuilds

Batteries

MOT repairs

Fault lights reset

Tyres & Exhausts

Courtesy vehicles

We are a family run business who have been working in the motor trade for over 40 years

Total Fleet Care

Unit 5, Vass Industrial Estate, Station Road, Ampthill, MK45 2RB SERVICING

REPAIRS

Telephone: 01525 405055 Web: www.totalfleetcare.com

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Page 28

Your advertisement in The Fuddler is only a click away!

If you have decided that you too would like an advert in The Fuddler all you have to do is email details to martin@thefuddler.com

Thought for the month:

‘You know it’s cold outside when you go outside and it’s cold.’

With The Imp

Here are my qualifications for you to overlook.

If this CV doesn't blow your hat off, then please return it in the enclosed envelope.

I am a rabid typist.

Education: College, August 1880 - May 1984.

Please disregard the attached CV - it is terribly out of date.

Thanks for those - please send us some more!

1.‘I’m having trouble with my tennis knee.’

2.‘She doesn’t like you because you’re smoking Guinness.’

3.‘I like a lady in fishtail tights.’

4.‘He’s managing to kick the ball with only one arm.’

5.‘The two coldest places I’ve visited are the freezer and Brighton.’

6.‘In which country did apples originate?’ ‘Kent.’

7.‘I want to learn how to cook ice cream.’

8.‘What time does the ferry land?’

9.‘You have to mix it slowly but quickly.’

10.‘I’m closer to the ground because I’m so tall.’

11.‘If you turn professional can you go back to being un-professional?’

12.‘I remember Shanks and McEwan beer.’

13.‘Don’t forget - there’s a storm in every port.’

Thanks again Imp

Congratulations to Simon and Harriet on their 9th Wedding Anniversary on the 3rd August

Hello everyone! I am an actress starring in a lavish production of a costume drama currently being shown on your televisions.

My character plays the love interest of one of the leading men in a fast moving, exciting and fun show!

Answer at the foot of the page.

Ampthill Park Hub Tel: 01525 406256

Ampthill Park Hub, Woburn Street, Ampthill MK45 2HX adjacent Ampthill Town Football Club

SCHOOL HOLIDAYS Food and drink served all day until late Come and enjoy a quality LAVAZZA coffee, teas, ice creams and cakes or let us tempt you to a range of delicious meals including Paninis, sandwiches, ‘gourmet’ burgers, jacket potatoes, pasties, sausage rolls, bacon rolls etc. all served in the lovely rural setting in Ampthill’s historic Country Park.

Bring the children along and let them play on our Giant Connect 4!!

Lots of seating inside and out!

Everybody welcome plus the dog (on a lead)!

Plenty of parking + toilets with baby changing facilities Tamla Kari - The Musketeers

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Page 29

The latest to come under scrutiny in the alleged spying case at The House of Lordships is Lord East of Westy. It was suggested that he is in fact that most devilish of operators as in the Cold War, a double agent!

However, having spent some considerable time looking into the possibility, it was thought unlikely. For a start, when questioned, his responses only contained details about the fairer sex, which has little bearing on the matter (but does demonstrate his prominent train of thought). Also, as was pointed out, by the time he reached The House of Commoners it would be some days later, rendering the information outdated. Add to this the fact that he would likely be incoherent at this point, a fresh line of investigation is now on the cards.

Ret Insp Morse Code

immediately at risk of joining the devalued world of many of today’s celebrities.

By the way, at the time of writing, Basher is wearing a pair of shabby trainers with frayed laces; a pair of last year’s faded jeans and a shirt with no tie and two buttons missing on the sleeves. Interested?

No, Basher thought not.

With Basher McGraw Why oh why, does the National Press continually spoil any article or picture shown of The Duchess of Cambridge and her children by giving us details of the price of the clothes they are wearing? Does it matter? and by doing so, the article or photograph in question is

CELEBRATING 35 YEARS!

EAT LIKE AN ITALIAN! Enjoy a FREE glass 125ml of house white or red wine when you order a starter and main!

love from Fred and the rest of the quiz team!

2nd August - Happy Birthday to Heather

Homemade food served in a friendly and relaxed atmosphere

Flittabus needs YOU !

Seating up to 60 people on two floors with 5 dining rooms.

Volunteer drivers wanted!

BOOK YOUR PARTY WITH US Birthdays Club Events

Driving a Flittabus can be fun; it’s also very worthwhile.

We have 3 buses and 11 routes, driven (and managed) by over 30 volunteers, providing scheduled services around Central Bedfordshire, helping many elderly people to remain independent.

If you can spare just one or two half days a month we would like to hear from you. Why not come for a trial drive & see if you like it? Lady drivers very welcome.

Anniversaries Company Meals

or just a family get together OPENING TIMES: Monday evening 6.00 Ͳ 9.00 Tuesday to Friday lunchtime 12.00 Ͳ 2.00 Tuesday to Thursday evening 6.00 Ͳ 10.00 Friday and Saturday evening 6.00 Ͳ 11.00

Full support & training will be provided. To learn more please contact Chris Tarmu 01525 861940.

91, Dunstable Street Ampthill Tel: (01525) 404666

Note: New drivers do need to be under the age of 67

Free parking available

Help line for bus information 07960 388 111

www.donatellospizzeria.co.uk

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Page 30

Here we delve more into the whimsical, wacky and interesting world of Montgolfier:

A gamekeeper’s wife phoned the Doctor to say their young baby had swallowed a bullet. He said ‘I can’t get there for about an hour so in the meantime give him a pint of Castor Oil. Oh, and do watch which way you point him.’

I love going to the Isle of Skye but it is not classed as an island any more as it is joined to us by a bridge, but I’d still go.

Doing my big daily crossword, I cam across the following clue; An evergreen Oak (4). I only got - O - -. The following day I read the answer: Holm. I’d never heard of the word.

Did you know that Thurleigh Airfield was not allowed to fire at any enemy aircraft as it would give it’s position away. Also did you know that the Airfield was designed by a magician.

The buildings look like farm buildings. I have a piece of parachute (about 1 foot square) which was ploughed up at Thurleigh 41 years after WWII. It is still as white as new.

Met a couple on a Scottish tour who have a very old vintage car and the wing mirrors vibrate so much they have to carry a ladies dressing table mirror to see what’s behind.

A friend of mine is the proud possessor of Oliver Cromwell’s axe. He’s owned it many years and in that time has only changed the head twice and the handle three times.

A friend commented that he was worried about getting old.

His mate said ‘I shouldn’t worry - it won’t last for ever.’

The Queen always sends a Birthday card on people’s 100th birthday. I wonder who will have the pleasure of sending the Queen hers.

Last Guided Walk 18th September

JOIN US FOR OUR BIG SUMMER WEEKEND 12 -14 AUGUST TH

TH

events at

SUMMER R PICNIC FUN N

Country Park SSaturday Sa Satur turd 13th August from 5pm

Friday 12th August from 10am

SUM SUMMER FAYRE Fun Dog Show F Sunday 14th August 11am - 4pm

Bring your teddy

Free admission, arts, crafts, refreshments & fun activities

Featuring local musical talent For more details visit: www.greensandtrust.org

For concert tickets visit: www.eventbrite.com

Email: visitorservices@greensandtrust.org

Follow us:

@greensandtrust

/rushmerepark

Rushmere Country Park is managed by the Greensand Trust on a not for profit basis. It is jointly owned and governed by the Greensand Trust and Central Bedfordshire Council Registered charity no: 1077055

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Page 31

If you too have decided that you would like an advertisement in our next edition just ping over the details to martin@thefuddler.com

Episode 53 ......................

Genie of the Lamp A few years back I was working on an excavation and unearthed an old lamp.

As it was nearly tea-break I placed it in a bag, labelled it up and placed it in the finds tray. I was on my own that afternoon and as I finished my tea, I took another look at my recent find. I took it out of the bag and cleaned a little dirt off the bottom to see if there were any markings. There looked like something on the side and I carefully rubbed it and out popped a genie. The genie said "OK. OK. You released me from the lamp, blah, blah, blah. This is the 4th time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three. You only get one wish!

Well, I sat and thought about it for a while and said, "I've always wanted to go to America but don't like flying and I get very seasick. Could you build me a bridge so it would be possible to drive over there

whenever I wanted.

The genie laughed and said, "That's impossible! Think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the ocean? Think of how much concrete and how much steel would be needed, no, think of another wish!"

I said OK and tried to think of another good wish.

Finally, I said, "I've had two or three long-term girlfriends, and they always said that I don't care and that I'm insensitive. So, I wish that I could understand women better, know how they feel inside and what they're thinking when they give me the silent treatment, know why they're crying and why they are upset, know what they really want when they say, 'nothing' and know how to make them truly happy "The genie thought for a while and then said, "Would you like that bridge with two lanes or four?"

4.30pm on Saturday 13 August 2016

In concert at Wayside Cottage 74 Manor Road, Barton-le-Clay, Bedfordshire MK45 4NR

To make the most of this beautiful setting you are invited to bring your own picnic and garden chairs Tickets £8 (under 12s free) Bar available for beer, wine and non-alcoholic drinks Tickets available online at: 'GET TICKETS' www.caritasharmony.co.uk Or phone: Jackie Howe on 01582 599520

“The absolutely awesome incredible power of belief is the genie in your life.”

Eldon Taylor

Need to get more active? You walk at your own pace in a friendly group. Choose from: Longer walks about 3 miles, last about an hour and a quarter, possibly with hills and uneven terrain.

NEW!! Shorter walks about 2 miles, last about an hour on easier terrain, slower pace. It’s all free - just turn up.

Next walks - all start at 10.00am:

12th August 26th August 9th September

Ampthill Park, west car park Silsoe Village Hall car park Marston Vale Forest Centre

For further information please contact: Lynda on 01234 740788 or at olivetree47@googlemail.com Or Laurie on 01525 403950 or at lalowe@btinternet.com or see http://ampthillheathwalks.blogspot.co.uk When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re online too at www.thefuddler.com!

Page 32

Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com