The Fuddler April 2016

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Est. 2002

Dawn Smith Dog Holidays Overnight stays and holiday care in our home - a great alternative to kennels.

Walks in the local countryside Est 1998 Collection available

Mobile: 07789 585766

www.dogholidays.vpweb.co.uk alfred.smiths@btinternet.com Overnight Stays

NEED AN ELECTRICIAN? NIC-EIC Registered All electrical work Testing and Certification Free Estimates AMPTHILL ELECTRICAL SERVICES

01525 632921 07977173452

Hello once again everyone and a very big welcome to your super sunny springtime edition of your Fuddler!

As always we very much hope you will enjoy the edition - there’s loads of local information inside, lots of stories, the usual fun and nonsense and of course

please look carefully at those important messages from our advertisers as you never know what you might find in The Fuddler!

If you decide that you too would like to advertise with us, you will find all our contact details on page four of each issue.

Sick PC or laptop?

Call the Doc for Hardware & software Diagnosis & treatment

01525-402227 john.stafford@compu-doc.co.uk

What do Accountants do for fun?

Add up the telephone book!

Accounts, Payroll, Bookkeeping, Tax, Business Advice ... and much more.

Ring to book a free, noͲobligation meeting today!

114 High Street, Cranfield, Beds, MK43 0DG Tel: 01234 752566 Email: info@vowles.co.uk www.vowles.co.uk

Express Lunches from £6.95 served 12.00 - 2.30pm 7 days a week Group bookings welcome

C&R PEST MANAGEMENT x 40 Yrs experience x Fully Insured x Special Rates for OAPS! Wasps, Rats, Mice, Rabbits, Moles, etc Free Estimate 01525 450046 07500 431131

ESTATE • FARM • GARDEN SERVICES Lawn Mowing, Hedge Cutting, Tree surgery, Fencing and Fence Repairs, General Gardening Now’s the time to give Josh a call to get your garden in ship shape order ready for the Spring!!

www.bangkoklounge.com When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re online too at www.thefuddler.com!

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Ampthill Glass Centre

Quality Windows - Doors - Conservatories - Glass Merchants - Glazing Contractors 12 Ampthill Business Park, Station Road, Ampthill, Bedfordshire, MK45 2QW

Telephone: 01525 403015 / 403609 Fax: 01525 402521 www.ampthillglasscentre.co.uk

Flush 100 (R9 Windows)

Flush 100 (R9) offers the appearance of a traditional timber window, the 100mm frame depth and flush casement design combine to offer a cost effective timber replacement.

With a choice of different coloured foils, traditional styling and furniture along with many other features and benefits, ensure the range looks and feels like natural timber.

Visit our new showroom today!

Put your trust in a company that has been trading for 40 years!

Aluminium Bi-folding Doors x

x

x

x

Available in any single or dual RAL colour option.

Full range of suited hardware.

High security hinges and locking mechanisms as standard.

Internally beaded with a soft line sash.

No window or glazing job too small.

For all your window, doors and conservatory needs call us now or visit our website.

Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

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AMPTHILL ACCOUNTANCY

New pop up Barbers every Friday Flitwick Market (Haircuts in Village Hall)

TUTORS ONE TO ONE TUITION COVERING ALL AAT UNITS and F1, F2, F3, F7 ACCA

PGCE Qualified Tutor Call 07790 672699 Email derek_story@yahoo.co.uk meet at ARA club Manton Lane Bedford MK41 7PF. On Thursday 21st April 2016 at 7.30p.m.

Author of ‘Dragonflies of Bedfordshire’ Steve Cham Presents ‘Birds and Dragonflies’ Everyone Welcome. Suitable for Experts and Novices, RSPB membership not essential.

Entrance fee, group members £1 Guest £2 annual group membership £5 For more info 0782 757160 or www.rspb.org.uk/groups/bedford There is to be a Grand Garden Party to celebrate St George’s Day on Saturday April 23rd at the Flitton & Greenfield Playing Field including a Pimms reception at 5.00pm followed by a superb 3 course dinner at 6.30pm with Raffles and Entertainment and all for just £30.00 per person. The event is to help raise money for Help for Heroes, Keech Hospice Care and Macmillan Cancer Support. Dress for the evening will be formal or patriotic and therefore the organisers request no trainers, jeans or sportswear. To reserve your tickets please contact Carl Lowe on 077790 10704, 01525 861111 or stgeorgegardenparty@gmail.com

Steve Wildman’s High Quality Carpet, Upholstery, Rug and Leather Suite Cleaning Service Tel: BartonͲLeͲClay 01582 882620

There is to be an ‘Olde Tyme Music Hall’ evening at St Andrew’s Church, Ampthill on Saturday 30th April at 7.30pm. There will be songs, community singing and recitations all in the best possible taste.

Tickets are priced at £10.00 to include pie and mash.

To secure your ticket please ring either Mandy on 01525 402320 or Beverley on 01525 404625.

On Sunday May 15th Parkside Singers are giving a concert at Parkside Hall in Ampthill to help raise funds for Aragon Day, 2017. The performance starts at 2.30pm and refreshments will be available.

Tickets cost £7.00 each and are available from Country Properties, Ampthill on 01525 403033 or 01525 751629.

Ampthill and District Choral Soc will be performing Mozart Mass in C (Coronation Mass) and Rossini Stabat Mater on Saturday May 21, 7.30 at Ampthill Methodist Church.

Tickets £7 on the door.

This year on May 28th to 30th See page 26 for more details

EXPRESS BUS TO

197 MILTON KEYNES Every Tuesday and Saturday, our express bus heads off from Clophill, Maulden, Ampthill and Flitwick, to Central Milton Keynes Shopping Centre. It’s great for a day out shopping, and with our family ticket it is great value.

English National Concession Passes are also welcome.

The bus leaves Clophill 09:52, Maulden 09:59, Ampthill 10:04 and Flitwick 10:11 (runs 5 minutes later on Saturdays). It returns from CMK at 13:30 (14:00 on Saturday).

Family Return only £8 01525 719719 www.grantpalmer.com

When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re online too at www.thefuddler.com!

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LORD DEE’S PONDERINGS I have continued to prepare the estate at the Hall and decided to spruce up the maze.

It is a very good job I took Duster IV with me as I am sure that otherwise I might have got lost as it’s grown a lot!

I must also convey heartiest birthday felicitations to Sir Howard for the 6th April.

Security installations…

01525 606162 07821 347434 info@alphasecure.co.uk www.alphasecure.co.uk

Across: 1 Thirst, 4 Totter, 7 Glamorous, 9 Lore, 10 Gent, 11 Floor, 13 Dry out, 14 Rafter, 15 Florin, 17 Beamed, 19 Laden, 20 Tend, 22 Knee, 23 Deficient, 24 Eleven, 25 Dawdle

Ciao

A BRIANISM

Ƚ Alarm & CCTV & repairs Ƚ High security door locks Ƚ CCTV images to mobile phones Ƚ Security for outbuildings

Down: 1 Tailed, 2 Role, 3 Tumult, 4 Torpor, 5 Trug, 6 Rotter, 7 Greyhound, 8 Sentiment, 11 Fusil, 12 Raven, 15 Futile, 16 Nation, 17 Belied, 18 Dredge, 21 Derv, 22 Know

DO YOU HAVE A JOB VACANCY?

“The Fuddler” is published by MDA Publications. The views expressed herein are not necessarily those of the publisher. No part of this publication may be copied in any form or by any means without written permission of the Publisher. Copyright MDA Publications.

Like to book an ad, or ask about our absurdly low rates please ring Martin on

I considered getting another tortoise to replace my last one but I don’t think I could cope with the speed.

Why not place an economical ad like this in The Fuddler and let everyone know?

Just ring Martin on 01525 841434 for more details

Or if you prefer, drop us an email to martin@thefuddler.com

Call in to our showroom today to view our extensive range of traditional stoves and fireplaces on display.

1, Bedford Street, Ampthill, Beds Tel: 01525 841199 www.ampthillfireplaces.co.uk Mon - Fri: 10am - 5pm Sat: 10am - 4pm Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

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Win a chance to sell your property for free.

Due to a very successful year we are pleased to announce this amazing promotion to Indigo customers that sell their property with us. Each month we will randomly draw one lucky person to win the opportunity of paying no agency fees.

If you are thinking about selling your property please call us for a free market appraisal.

Visit our website

www.indigo-res.co.uk Ampthill & villages Barton Road Stopsley Leagrave

01525 213321 01582 847800 01582 512000 01582 490696

T&Cs. The draw will take place for all our selling clients month to month across all four of our branches. If you are already in a sole agency agreement with another estate agent you must check terms and conditions to avoid having to pay two fees, we can advise you on this.

When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re online too at www.thefuddler.com!

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JH ELECTRICAL • DOMESTIC • INDUSTRIAL • COMMERCIAL

24 HR CALLOUT AVAILABLE All electrical work undertaken email: supaspark@tiscali.co.uk

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Sandra’s been busy again looking through her big book of words (dictionary?) and brings us the word below. (Nothing to do with the crossword.) Just look at the hexagon and see whether or not the word jumps out at you!

(Answer at the bottom of the page if it doesn’t!)

23

24

Here’s another of Marjorie’s fine crosswords for our entertainment Across: Down: 1 Pamper (6) 1 Large wading bird (6) 4 Accident (6) 2 Eyelid swelling (4) 7 Conference (9) 3 Favourite drink (6) 9 Filigree (4) 4 Type of wine (6) 10 Frock (4) 5 Garden pest (4) 11 Crow (5) 6 Pedestal (6) 13 Chirp (6) 7 Bird scarer (9) 14 Channel (6) 8 Illicit booze (9) 15 Absolve (6) 11 Shine (5) 17 Bubbles (6) 12 Delicacy (5) 19 Scamper inf. (5) 15 Wrap (6) 20 Nincompoop (4) 16 Currant filled cake (6) 22 Poker stake (4) 17 Unbind (6) 23 Healthful (9) 18 Watery of eye (6) 24 Glut (6) 21 You arch. (4) 25 Number (6) 22 So be it (4)

C Q

1

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*Maintenance *Drainage *Driveways *Landscaping *Fencing

*Patios

Contact: Andi Brackenridge T: 07789 681252 Email: enquiries@abbuildingandgroundworks.co.uk Acquiesce

Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

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Bigens e Scr

The Win gfieLD

RDG Funk & Reggae sic u Band M Live Sat 9

Mus

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8.30

Live

till

Late

St George's day Cloud 9 Disco

Coming Soon: Membership Draw Play Your Cards Right

SAT 23rd APR

Cash in the Box

8.30

till

Late

A Bumper May coming: The Three Legged Race The return of The Num3ers & The Journeymen Top Quality - Low Prices Beers, Wines & Spirits

Real Ales & Beers from £2.70 - Lagers from £2.95 Vodka/Whisky/Gin Doubles £2.20

every

Meat Raffle Sunday

13 prizes

Bumper Raffle

New Prosecco £3.60 and Fine Wines £2.80

VW UG 6XQGD\V

Kids

Assortment of games

\ U H Y ( UVGD\ 7KX

ZZZ WKHZLQJILHOGFOXE FR XN 37 Church St, Ampthill MK45 2PL 01525 403321

Private members club affiliated to CIU Mon - Thurs 12 - 3pm & 7 to 11pm - Fri & Sat (patrons only) 12 to 11:30pm - Sun 12 to 11pm

arking

10th April -

26 Prizes

POOL

New Top Table Two function rooms and the Lounge bar available for hire - day and evening competitive rates - Weddings, Christenings, Birthdays, Wakes etc (all day opening available weekdays and weekends)

<RX DUH ZHOFRPH WR FRPH DQG WU\ WKH FOXE WKUHH WLPHV ,I \RX OLNH LW ZK\ QRW MRLQ RQO\ SHU \HDU SOXV MRLQLQJ IHH When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re online too at www.thefuddler.com!

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ALL BRICKWORK AND REPAIRS PLUS REPOINTING No job too small Please ring Joe 01525 404334 With The Duchess of Troll

Reflections in the Dewpond .......

THE PHOTO ALBUM 'The Five Old Boys' still giggling about the Cricket Match found loose in the front of the album more photos along with old postcard photos dated WWI, others of Ampthill Town Football Team of 1934, more snow pictures of the Two Old English Sheepdogs resplendent in their red leg warmers with white snowmen, posing beautifully, as always, with young Chris Ilex with his gal Becky.

Ten Acre, a great local footballer in his own right, was thrilled to see his old mate

George also the manager Fred.

‘Well’ said Sam Ilex peering at the photo ‘that's my Dad and Grandad, however I didn't inherit their love of football, that was left to other family members,’ turning to the others, ‘didn't you ever see copies hanging in Pinny's Barber's and the Ossory Arms for donkey’s years, in fact my young un's saw them and were proud of them both, neither knew them gone before they were born.

One postcard photo showed WWI soldiers, wounded at the front recovering in the Camp Hospital. Sam Ilex retold the story of The Mrs Sam's grandfather, an Ampthill man, wounded on the Somme, shown in the pictures

FARMERS MARKETS The Farmers Market in Woburn is held on the third Sunday of every month from 10.00 - 2.00 at The Pitchings, whilst Ampthill Farmers Market is held on the last Sunday of each month from 11.00 - 2.00 at the rear of Natwest Bank in Ampthill.

Don’t forget The Charter Market in Ampthill every Thursday and Flitwick Market on Fridays!

surrounded by nurse's, and more men in different stages of recovery. Most had life long disabilities as did The Mrs Sam's Grandfather.

Ampthill Park WWI had been a training camp, set up and funded by the then Duke of Bedford. Gyms, cooking facilities, tents for the men, huts where they were allowed to sleep if it wasn't pouring with rain. The wet conditions they had in the park were nothing compared to the experiences of the front later on. All this knowledge gained by a chance meeting with some young old boys - Stephen Hartley Hare and the two Ians

by Sam Ilex out walking, as always got chatting. Well he told the other old boys, they are

planning something really great to commemorate the 100 Yrs since the Camp closed and of the 707 out of 2235 that didn't return to their hometown, a display of white footprints going up the hill with wooden crosses for names or words, should be ready for the 13 to 20 November 2016.

We will all go, sadly remembering relatives and friends of their families, those volunteers said the Five Old Boys to see Tommy's Footprints, at least we will be able to pay our respects and raise a glass to them that didn't come home.

(Wonder if Richard will do us sausage and mash ) We will remember them…

D.O.T.

Maulden Garage Ltd FOR ALL YOUR VEHICLE NEEDS Modern Classic or Vintage Repairs, Servicing, Breakdowns, Fabrication, Tyres, Exhausts Classic Rally Car Preparation and on event service support Unit 10 Woodside Clophill Road Maulden Beds MK45 2AE www.mauldengarage.co.uk mauldengarage@btconnect.com

01525 862877 Free local delivery and collection service

Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

Page 9

The Crown Station Rd, Flitwick / MK45 1LA / 01525 713737

A Proper Pub for Proper People Now With 4 Real Ales!

Themed Nights Live Music And much much more…

Events and Live Music Coming Soon Saturday 16th April – Live Music with The Numb3rs Saturday 23rd April – St George’s Day Free Buffet and live music with Big In Brazil

Saturday 30th April – Mexican Night with Music and Games!

Friday 6th May – Karaoke! Free shot with every song!

Beer Festival 15th, 16th, +17th of July When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re online too at www.thefuddler.com!

Page 10

Ampthill and Flitwick Churches Together Pentecost and Christian Aid Celebration Flitwick Millenium Park Sunday 15th May 2.30 pm Free children’s activities and refreshments Service at 3.15 pm followed by Birthday Cake

With Jimmy The Voice JTV has been gardening!

This month he has sent us this picture of a snake he believes he found in his garden when he was busy over the Easter weekend ...

... but, if you look very carefully, we don’t reckon it can exist at all!

But what do you think?

Christian Aid Week House-to-house collection in Flitwick and Ampthill Sunday 15th – Saturday 21st May Caring for our global neighbours

By Julio Van Peebles Julio’s Worries and Useless Facts: 1) Did you know that watching someone eat in the hope that they will give you some is called Groaking?

2) If dogs could go bankrupt, would they call in the retrievers?

3) Did you know that Esperanto means 'hopeful' in Esperanto?

4) Why don't automated answerphone messages just start with "If you want to speak to an advisor, please press 1" 5) Did you know that a popular Roman hangover cure was 'Deep Fried Canary' 6) Why are there no Irish tennis players?

Happy Birthday to ‘The Mouse’ for the 27th April!

A BIG Happy Birthday to Lanie for the 27th April

4th April Happy Birthday Doris Lots of love from everyone xxx Happy Birthday Choc for 5th April!

And that’s the darn thing of it!

April 26th Happy Birthday Hayley Rose Love from Ampthill xx

THE JOLLY COOPERS

Traditional Country Village Pub and Restaurant Easter has been and gone and with that the clocks went forward 1 hour, the nights are drawing out and spring IS really just around the corner. The daffs have been in bloom for a while now and we will soon be looking to Ian to get the bedding plants ready and the summer tubs planted.

With the season changing we look to chef to put his thinking cap on and come up with some scrumptious dishes to tempt you. Come and visit, enjoy some homecooked food and a glass of something, be it one of our 3 everchanging real ales (good beer guide & cask marque) or a glass of wine from our wine list. Whatever we are always delighted to see you.

As we plan ahead May brings 2 bank holiday weekends and once more we will have entertainment for you to enjoy.

Sat 30th April Ͳ QUIZ NIGHT st

Sun 1 May Ͳ LIVE MUSIC WITH AMY B

Mon 2nd May Ͳ OUR 3 MEAT ROAST HOPEFULLY IN THE SUNSHINE!

Bobbi and Ian look forward to seeing you soon

You can always check what is going on at jollycoopersflitton.co.uk

THE JOLLY COOPERS, WARDHEDGES, FLITTON, BEDS TEL: 01525 860626 Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

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Guttering Problems?

Gutters Cleaned.

ODD JOBS Home Improvements

Do you have a wish list of outstanding jobs around the home or garden?

Perhaps you think these are too small for specialist trades or you don’t have the time or proper tools We are a friendly local service based in Ampthill specialising in all your small building and DIY requirements around the home and garden.

Further details can be found on my website of the range of who we are, the services we can offer and local work previously done.

Leaking Gutters repaired.

New Gutters Fitted.

All by a friendly local established company

Bradnam Guttering

Babs was very excited. She had heard that an antiques programme was coming to the area and she had found something in her loft that she wanted a value on. Her father had told her it had been there since before she was born, even before he was born and not only that before her grandfather was born.

Off she went excitedly with a photo of said item to meet the antiques valuer.

‘How much is it worth’ she gasped, ‘And do you know what it is?’

‘Well’ said the valuer wearily, ‘I can tell you what it is - the water tank.’

www.SandIpropertyservices.co.uk

I suppose I should have listened when I pulled a face and they told me what would happen if the wind changed.

I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

My friend’s husband is so silly he bought their friends a radiator as a housewarming gift.

I recognise the need to be reliable, but so is my need to remain an enigma.

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

Experience is a comb that life gives you after you after you lose your hair.

Does running late count as a form of exercise?

Real difficulties can be overcome. It’s only the imaginary ones that are difficult to conquer.

The day the world runs out of wine is just too terrible to think about.

A sheet of sandpaper makes a cheap and effective substitute for costly maps when visiting the Sahara desert.

Even your shadow need time to itself - away from you and your worries.

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

BOB AMBLER HOME DESIGNS

Kitchens – Bedrooms – Home Offices – Bathrooms

Carpentry

Replacement Kitchen Doors and Worktops

A complete design, supply and installation service

Free Designs and Quotations

1. Where would you find the ‘Mount of the Moon’?

2. In which Dickensian novel does ‘Horatio Fizkin’ appear?

3. A ‘Corriedale’ is a breed of which creature?

4. In which US state is there a town called ‘Normal’?

5. I f y o u s u f f e r e d f r o m ‘Sciophobia’ what would you fear?

6. Who presented Blue Peter from 1981-94?

7. ‘Clous’ is the collective term for which creature?

8. W h ic h cou n tr y h as a Parliament called a ‘Diet’?

9. Where do Panama Hats come from?

10.What is a ‘Foehn’?

1 The hand, 2 Pickwick Papers, 3 Sheep, 4 Alabama, 5 Shadows, 6 John Leslie, 7 Gnats, 8 Japan, 9 Ecuador, 10 Wind

Call Rob on 01525 552066 or 07977 206403

Please call Ian to discuss your requirements on 07415 281969 Ͳ Turn DIY into Get It Done

Garage Door Solutions Ltd Your local garage door expert for:

Replacements, Repairs and Spares x All makes & designs available x 24 Hour repair service x No call out charge x All work guaranteed x Free quotations Call us now on: 01525 721615 / 07761 093468 Website: www.garagedoorsolutionsltd.co.uk Or see the yellow pages

01525 405393 07889 058345

3, Woodcock Walk, Flitwick, Bedfordshire, MK 45 1RD

When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re online too at www.thefuddler.com!

Page 12

THE WHITE HORSE Husborne Crawley

Very many thanks again for your wonderful photos of The Fuddler on its travels around the world! On the left this month is Mark with his Fuddler in Puerto Banus, and below is a charming photo of Phil and his wife Jenny on a visit to see Chembe and his family who live in a remote village in central Malawi, Africa.

If you have any pictures of a Fuddler being read away from home please send them in to martin@thefuddler.com

Now serving Great, Fresh, Pub Grub and well kept Real Ales.

23rd APRIL Ͳ CELEBRATE ST GEORGE’S DAY Free pint of Real Ale with every St George’s Day ‘Great English Special’ meal ordered!

Weekly Specials (Booking Advisable) Monday Ͳ 2Ͳ4Ͳ1 Main courses off our à la carte menu (excluding bank holidays)

Tuesday Ͳ 'Celebrate the Sausage' Ͳ Build your own Sausage & Mash for just £8.95.

Wednesday Ͳ 'Day of the Steak’ Ͳ 8oz Rump Steak Dinner for only £10.00

Thursday Ͳ ‘Blast from the Past’ Ͳ Two classic pub main courses for £15.00.

Choose from our specially created pub menu.

Complete Tyre Support

Sunday Ͳ ‘Traditional Sunday Roasts’ Quality, locally sourced produce put together to create one of the best Sunday Roasts in the area.

Gluten free and vegetarian roasts are also available.

Adults £10.95, Children £6.95

(The full À la carte, Vegetarian and Children’s Menu will also be available alongside these offers)

Serving food 7 days a week (Until 9.00pm Monday to Saturday and 12.00 to 6.00pm Sunday)

Matt, Sharon and the team look forward to welcoming you to The White Horse.

To Book call 01525 280565

The White Horse, 1 Mill Road, Husborne Crawley, Bedford, Mk43 0XE www.whitehorsehusbornecrawley.squarespace.com whitehorsehc@gmail.com.

Call us now!

0844 8000 333 www.threecountiestyres.com

Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

Page 13

I’ve got so many things going on It doesn’t help now my P.C. has died and gone, I was told it’s great - use windows ten So after some updates it’s died again Then restarts and more updates, Forgotten passwords, and now Mr Fuddler says hurry up your poem’s late.

So no emails, and internet gone, No you tube so no singing my favourite song.

Oh and no Facebook, Twitter what can I do I must get my poem done ready for all of you.

It just shows how we all rely on this modern technology Do we need it, do we, honestly.

Newspaper sales are falling fast, How long will the daily newspaper last Everyone’s going to read it on line But we want to stop the newspaper sales decline.

So here at your local McColl’s convenience store We have a new offer so let me tell you more.

We will not charge for the delivery of your newspapers for 10 weeks That should make you happy peeps.

Just call into your local store where we can tell you so much more Or collect one of our leaflets that are in the stand just by the door. Thank you.

MCCOLL’S YOUR LOCAL CONVENIENCE STORE 17 CHURCH STREET AMPTHILL TEL: 01525 404096 OPEN: MON-SAT 6AM TO 8PM SUNDAY 7AM TO 8PM

5VGRJGPŐU 2NCPVU at Maulden Garden Centre on the A507 bypass (near A6 / Clophill)

for your Seasonal and hardy plants

Vegetable seeds and plants Hanging baskets and tubs plus composts and fertilisers all with EXPERT ADVICE

CPF C UOKNG

Telephone: 01525 861696

RIDGMONT STATION Tea Rooms A delightful hidden gem!

FRESHLY MADE FOOD ...

CAFÉ MENU x A selection of teas, coffees

and soft drinks x Home made cake and scones x Cream teas are our speciality! x Please note we are closed on Mondays x SMALL

x Hot soups and jacket potatoes x A selection of fresh

sandwiches x Toasted paninis x Plus lots more! x Great value and a friendly service!

LOCAL TAKE-AWAY SERVICE AVAILABLE x Telephone 01525 287 120 or

mobile 07861 732 850 for pre-orders x Collection point for takeaway orders

BIRTHDAY PARTIES We can also cater for up to 16 people for a special Birthday Party!

RIDGMONT STATION | STATION ROAD | RIDGMONT BEDFORDSHIRE | MK43 OXP T: 01525 287 120 M: 07861 732 850 E:ridgmonttearoom@gmail.com Full disabled access, toilets and free car park

HOW TO FIND US: By rail alight at Ridgmont Station By road follow station signs from A507

When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re online too at www.thefuddler.com!

Page 14

SATURDAY 28th May 2016

REGISTRATION 11:30AM – ENGINE AND TENDER

Tel: 01525 403319 email: engineandtender@live.co.uk Engine & Tender - Bar

Introducing our

‘MID WEEK MEAL DEAL’ Every Wednesday buy 1 meal and get one FREE between 7.00-8.00pm!!

Last food orders 7.45pm Please ask for details

Sunday 24th April

QUIZ NIGHT Cash prizes MAY BANK HOLIDAY BBQ Sunday 1st May food from 2.00pm

All sports shown live here!

BT Sport and Sky Sport

Please support us again, by entering the annual Ampthill “Fancy Dress” Three Legged race. Last year we raised approximately £4,500 which has again provided local support as well as funded projects in Gambia.

The money raised last year, helped us to provided support and materials to the prosthetic limb centre in Banjul, as well as providing a driving course to assist a young man to help secure employment. Closer to home, we provided Leonard Cheshire Disability with a significant donation to move them closer to reaching their target for the "eye gaze appeal" Join us on the day, help support and have fun!

Nomination forms and further information available from all participating pubs or via the web page on http:// www.ampthillthreeleggedrace.com Dear Sir, I thought I would just like to write to your enjoyable magazine The Fuddler, to tell you how kind so many of the people of Ampthill are.

Last Saturday it was a particularly windy morning and I was crossing Station Road - particularly tricky as you have three ways to look - when a car coming up Station Road stopped and not only stopped but a young man got out and crossed me over the road but asked if he could give me a lift anywhere. I was also using my walking aid. I declined as I was only going a short distance. Also I get a lot of help from passing cars and pedestrians crossing Dunstable Street to go to the Bakers. What a lot of helpful people there are. Best wishes, a very grateful old pensioner.

T Butlin Building and Plastering Est 1987

www.timbutlinbuilders.co.uk

26 years in business For your extensions, renovations, alterations, Upvc fascias / soffitts, guttering, block paving and all plastering including artex ceilings and walls plastered back to flat.

Tel: 01525 405670 / Mob: 07778 680393

Also offering: Impressions Female decorators All aspects of painting and decorating.

With female finesse to make the most of your home Tel 01234 751282 or 01525 405670 / Mob: 07944 710179

Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

Page 15

Sight Tests

Childrens Contact Eyecare Lenses

C

Call to book your appointment today.

Other optician’s prescriptions welcome.

01525 715759 ideal eyewear Unit 3 Highfield House 110 The Hawthorns Flitwick MK45 1FN Your local independent optician

When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re online too at www.thefuddler.com!

Page 16

36 Dunstable Street, Ampthill Telephone 01525 634857 2500+ Ales from April 2010

Ampthill’s Spring Food Fair returns to Parkside on Sunday 8th May from 10.00am – 4.00pm. Entrance is free! This twice yearly gastronomic treat is becoming one of the regular events in the Ampthill calendar that you just don’t want to miss. As ever there will be a wide array of stalls selling gorgeous goodies to eat and drink. Ampthill Brewhouse will be there with their latest beers, The Chocolatier with his amazing luxury chocolates, Crayfish Capers will be selling their tasty fishcakes made from freshwater crayfish, Paul’s pickles with his fabulous chutneys and preserves, there will be Jo’s Loaves with her amazing artisan breads, there will be cakes to die for and so much more. As ever entrance is free and you could win a huge hamper in the raffle. It really is an event for all the family and this time we will be holding a competition for kids – look on the website and Facebook for more information.

Go to www.parksidehall.org.uk for more information or email claire.upton@parksidehall.org.uk or call 01525 634205

THE PERMANENT BEER FEST SOUTH BEDS CAMRA PUB OF THE YEAR 2014

IT’S OUR CHARITY QUIZ TIME Thursday 21st April, 8 for 8.30pm start.

“It's All About Numbers Quiz” £2 per person, max 6 per team Cash Prizes All in aid of both Keech & St John’s Hospices.

Coming up in May:

3 Counties Beer & Cider Fest.

Beer on the bar from Beds, Herts & Bucks You can’t B&T it! Now we are 6!

CAMRA BEDS PUB OF THE YEAR 2013 OUR OTHER PUBS ARE: The Globe, Winfield Street, Dunstable (Bedfordshire Pub of the year 2010) - Tel: 01582 512300 The Wellington Arms, Wellington Street, Bedford (North Beds Pub of the year 2010) - Tel: 01234 308033 The Elm Tree, Orchard Street, Cambridge - Tel: 01223 502632 The Brewery Tap, North Bridge Street, Shefford - Tel: 01462 628448 Seven Stars, Albert Square, Rugby, CV21 2SH - Tel: 01788 561402

www.banksandtaylor.com Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

Page 17

YOUR LOCAL Memory Foam Mattresses Direct from the manufacturer at trade prices!

No.1 For Scooters, Stairlifts & Mobility Can’t get to us? Call now to organise a free no pressure home demonstration with one of our friendly sales advisors.

Curved & Straight stairlifts available.

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Wheelchairs, Ramps, Walking Sticks, Grab Rails, Tri-Walkers, Rollators, Bathlifts, Waterproof Clothing & much more.

For more information call us or visit our website at www.comforthomecare.co.uk

WWW.COMFORT MATTRESS.CO.UK When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re online too at www.thefuddler.com!

Page 18

Electrical Contractor Domestic and Industrial Your local Electrical Contractor All types of testing and certification undertaken

FREE QUOTATIONS NICEIC Approved Contractor Working with Ampthill Town Council 11 Cedar Close, Ampthill, Bedford, MK45 2UD

Tel & Fax: 01525 714057 3rd April Hiya Sis, Birthday greetings!

Lots of love, me xxx

With Al B. Suppin

Before thermometers were invented, brewers would dip a thumb into the mix to find the right temperature for adding yeast. Too cold and the yeast wouldn't grow; too hot and the yeast would die.

This ancient practice is where we get the phrase 'rule of thumb'.

Birthday Greetings to Katy for the 16th April

With Basher McGraw The mobile phone has a very u s e fu l , n e c e s s a r y a n d worthwhile place in today’s society. However, is it not also one of the most misused and abused items o f technology? It is demanding requiring immediate attention.

It rudely interrupts conversations and with self importance places itself at the

Our heated mobile grooming parlour comes to you for a no stress ONE to ONE experience. All work is carried out freestyle without the aid of any harsh restraining methods.

x I only use the finest natural products and always use FRESH WATER as my equipment is the latest on the market.

x x x x x

Turbo Hand Drying ( no cage drying ) Double wash System coat conditioning included Nail clipping included if necessary Areas covered MK16, 40, 41, 42,43, 45, 46

Evening appointments also available Ͳ please ring for details

Call Charlie on 07446 189808 or email charliegboy58@gmail.com centre of social events.

People out in a social gathering cannot ignore the often trivial messages; so sad to see groups of people sitting together completely oblivious to each other because they are clicking away on their phones!

In future generations, we may well see a new social disease.

A tricky one for the psychologists; assuming of course they themselves have not succumbed!

This year Flitwick & Ampthill Sea Cadets celebrate our 50th Anniversary. To help us celebrate we would like to build a detailed history spanning those 50 years, starting with our roots in Ampthill as TS Russell.

Have you been a cadet or adult volunteer with us over the last 50 years, or know someone that was??

Do you have written documents or photos you could share with us?

If you can help please contact us either via our fb page or email Debbie on: psa.chairman@fasea-cadets.org

Happy Birthday to Bob for 8th April

with Auntie Vi Old age is so unpredictable.

You wake up one morning and there - you have it.

Spotted by a reader and sent to us: Wanted: Ejection seat tester.

Involves a small amount of travelling.

When you can’t see this sign, the road is under water.

Telepath wanted. You know where to apply.

And thanks for those!

AA WINDOW REPAIRS Building Preservation Specialists

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16 Tavistock Avenue, Ampthill, Bedford. MK45 2RY

TELEPHONE: 01525 718432

Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

Page 19

OSSORY ARMS 9 Arthur Street, Ampthill 07791 908699 www.ossoryarms.co.uk

FOOD SERVED MON - FRI 12.00 - 2.30 SAT/SUN 10.30 - 3.00

Still serving the famous big and little Ozz breakfast

Thursday 14th April St George’s Rock & roll bingo quiz £2 per card with up to 4 games played All proceeds going to Help for Heroes, Macmillan and Keech Hospice Starts at 8pm

Celebrate with us on ...

St George’s Day Saturday 23rd April Novelty Nibbles Selfie props

Roast dinners served Sunday 12.00 till 3.00

New food menu coming soon

LIVE MUSIC with the popular

‘THE NUMBERS UNPLUGGED’

Speciality teas and coffees available

BANK HOLIDAY WEEKEND AT THE OZZ Join us on Sunday 1st May

Roast served until 3.00pm plus ...

LIVE MUSIC WITH EMMA ROBBINS from 7.30pm

Prosecco on offer throughout April £15.00 per bottle

BT SPORTS All BT sports games shown here

When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re online too at www.thefuddler.com!

Page 20

EAT LIKE AN ITALIAN! Homemade food served in a friendly and relaxed atmosphere

Seating up to 60 people on two floors with 5 dining rooms.

BOOK YOUR PARTY WITH US Birthdays Club Events Anniversaries Company Meals or just a family get together OPENING TIMES: Monday evening 6.00 Ͳ 9.00 Tuesday to Friday lunchtime 12.00 Ͳ 2.00 Tuesday to Thursday evening 6.00 Ͳ 10.00 Friday and Saturday evening 6.00 Ͳ 11.00

91, Dunstable Street Ampthill Tel: (01525) 404666 Free parking available

www.donatellospizzeria.co.uk

With Dr. Benjamin J Häagen - ‘Traveller Extraordinaire’ I am very pleased to tell you Flora and her Ashley has taken my advice and will be honeymooning in Australia. They have also set the date for May, so we have not long to wait. I have set out ideas for their travel taking in some of the best places to visit, which dear reader, are so large in number you would need to stay a couple of years to appreciate all there is to offer. One of my favourite places is the Gold Coast south of Brisbane. Then travel the coast route up to Cairns and spend time at the Whitsunday’s en route. One of the most beautiful parts of this word of ours!

Now, I know that Flora would not want her Uncle around during her honeymoon, even though I am her favourite travel companion, a role shortly to be handed to Ashley, but by sheer coincidence, I do have to give yet another presentation in Sydney around May time!

Not sure how to explain and convince dear Flora of the coincidence!

No although I don’t mind such conferences, I am getting a little older now and although I do want to spend time travelling; if only I could do this without the work, life would indeed be very sweet!

I put down the Smartphone, after Flora gave me the good news about Australia, for the said communication device to spring into action with a rendition from Carl Orff. I don’t remember setting that music to accompany calls from my old research department, but I have tried so many options that anything is now possible!

“Benny my dear friend”, was what I first heard, simultaneously thinking, how I have always detested having my name shortened, especially when calls come from Pieter, who I worked with for many years but never saw eye to eye. We worked on different research topics but his funding seemed so too easy to receive, whereas I had to jump through so many hoops! The call lasted around 10 minutes, resulting in me agreeing to travel to Reykjavik.

After putting the phone down, the realisation that I had succumbed to his wishes so easily was overwhelming! Why? I was only just saying to Flora that a little time at home would be good.

I have been to Iceland many times and if dear reader, you have not, please do! This is a land like no other. With Geysers and volcanic landscapes as part of day to day life, it does take some time to get used to. No matter how much you have travelled, If Iceland has not been a destination to date, make it soon!

But of course, with Reykjavik comes spending time is wonderful cafes and restaurants around the harbour area. The less posh they look the better the food. Now don’t get me wrong, food is wonderful wherever you go here. I spent a wonderful birthday in the Apotek just along from my favourite Hotel Borg. The food here is to be tasted to be believed.

Just around the corner is Reykjavik's primary shopping district centred on its main artery, Laugavegur, in the downtown area. A selection of boutiques, designer labels, arts and crafts galleries and jewellery design studios can be found here, including the popular 66°North and the Blue Lagoon shop.

Over the past few years, Skólavödustígur (the street leading from Laugavegur to the Hallgrímskirkja church) has been transforming into one of the most chic shopping streets in Reykjavik.

The latest addition to the old harbour is the Ice cream shop, Valdís.

It is safe to say it is the trendiest ice cream shop in Reykjavik.

It has a great selection of Italian style gelato and sorbets in a wonderful waffle. I don´t think they have a standard list of ice cream on the menu; all of the stuff is handmade.

When last there, dear reader, I had the largest ice cream on offer. In fact it was so impossibly huge that it fell apart when the girl preparing the ice cream handed it to me so a new one had to be made and myself and my wallet, was covered in strawberry flavoured sorbet. Anyway, I had the mint, strawberry and fruit sorbet in a lovely waffle. It was truly wonderful, but, I liked the fruit sorbet the most, but that´s just me!

Right, I need to start packing. I should let Flora know!

Dr. Benjamin J Häagen

Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

Page 21

When you advertise in The Fuddler - youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re online too at www.thefuddler.com!

Page 22

FREE PRESCRIPTION DELIVERY Can’t get to the chemist or surgery?

Don’t worry, we’ll pick up your prescription from your surgery and deliver your medication to your door.

T.H.E. BEST BUTCHERS

Covering Ampthill, Clophill, Flitwick, Houghton Conquest, Maulden, Silsoe, Wilstead & surrounding villages. * INTERESTING RANGE OF SPECIALITY SAUSAGES

Telephone (01908) 375275 www.bestbutcher.co.uk

Unit 5, Lower Rectory Farm, Great Brickhill, Milton Keynes, Bucks MK17 9AF CHEESEMANS PHARMACY OF AMPTHILL Tel: 01525 402173

Gros Al’s Poulet et Bacon Tartiflette To serve 6 ... Allegedly 700g charlotte potatoes 300g fresh baby spinach 1 tbsp olive oil 1 large onion, finely chopped 2 large garlic cloves, chopped or crushed 250g smoked bacon lardons 2 tbsp plain flour Butter for greasing dish 200ml double cream 200ml chicken stock 3 chicken breasts or about 350g leftover roast chicken, shredded 250g Reblochon cheese, rind removed.

Lightly poach the chicken breasts in a saucepan with the chicken stock for 10 mins and shred when cooked through.

Preheat the oven to gas mark 6 (200c). Slice the potatoes and simmer in salted water for 5 minutes until just tender. Drain. Put the spinach in a colander, pour over freshly boiled water from a kettle to wilt, then refresh under cold running water and squeeze dry.

Heat the oil in a frying pan over a medium heat and soften the onion, stirring, for 8 minutes. Stir through the garlic and cook for 2 minutes more, then remove to a bowl.

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Add the bacon to the pan and fry until starting to crisp. Add to the onion, and then stir in the flour. Lightly grease a large ovenproof dish with butter. Mix the cream with the stock and season.

Layer the potato, onion and bacon, spinach, shredded chicken and half of the cheese, pouring over the cream sauce as you go. Finish with a layer of potatoes and season.

Bake for 30 minutes, then scatter over the remaining Reblochon and return to the oven for 10-15 minutes more until golden and piping hot.

Serve with some nice French bread, salad and a good bottle of Côtes du Rhône red.

It is also delicious served cold next day.

Thank you for that one!

Happy Birthday Howie for 6th April from one old pensioner to another ‘You’ve caught up again!’

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JO For 17th April Love from all your friends!!

Oh, and me! J x

Happy Birthday Rocketman for the 9th April

For a Free 1st Class MILK DELIVERY SERVICE TELEPHONE 01525 402206 Please see our website at www.mauldendairies.co.uk We are now delivering to Greenfield, Flitton and Pulloxhill too!

Maulden Dairies Warren Farm, Woburn Street, Millbrook

Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

Page 23

I do have a little sympathy for today’s students. They leave university with a large debt which has to be paid off. I was lucky enough to attend college when one received a grant to cover living costs and tuition was free. It is therefore no wonder that a lot of students now choose to study close and live at home in order to keep the debt down. They do, however, miss out on the life skills that one learns when living away from home for the first time.

After a couple of weeks the pile of clothing in the corner of my room in the hall of residence showed no sign of diminishing. At home it was put into a basket and a short time later re-appeared in the wardrobe. It was time to take action, so off to the supermarket for washing powder. I found myself, somewhat bewildered, in an aisle containing shelves of different powders. Hand wash, twin tub, automatic? Once automatic was chosen which brand was the next problem.

There was obviously more to this laundering than I had first thought. Then to the college launderette, clothes in, powder added to the drawers as per the instructions on the machine.

Conditioner?

Off to the bar whilst the machine worked its magic. Couldn’t see what all the fuss was about. Whilst in the bar I was informed that I shouldn’t really have put my new red gym tops in with my white tennis gear. Still they say it takes a real man to wear pink!

Happy Birthday Yatesy for the 7th April

from everybody in Ampthill

EN E S V! T S A N O

HAVING A BIT OF A ‘DO’?

ST GEORGE’S DAY 23rd APRIL

Our lounge bar and adjacent function room are perfect for a small ‘soirée’ and are available for your exclusive use! Please give us a ring or call in and have a look and then see Richard to discuss your needs.

Come an join us for a mighty party to celebrate!

We have Bombardier aplenty, fine wines, stirring music from Elgar and other greats - plus traditional Bangers and Mash!

It all starts at 12.00 noon! Bang on!

THIS MONTH’S CHESS PUZZLE Can you help? It’s white to play and checkmate in just two moves - but how?

If you can work it out please pop in and tell us, and maybe join in our soon to be forthcoming chess challenge!

QUIZ NIGHT EVERY WEDNESDAY Our highly popular quiz is every Wednesday starting at 8.00pm sharp. Come and test your knowledge with our guest Quizmasters everyone welcome.

Sunday 1st May TRADITIONAL MAY DAY CELEBRATIONS! As always we will be open from 7.00am for our breakfast extravaganza with Redbornstoke Morris and the other dancers after they have danced in the sunrise in Ampthill Park!

Plus live music with

ELECTRIC UKES performing from 3.00pm for a bit of a whoop up!

When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re online too at www.thefuddler.com!

x Redbornstoke Morris in action!

Page 24

If you’re quick you could book your advertisement in the May edition of The Fuddler!

For more details or to book your space please ring Martin on 01525 841434 Happy Birthday to ‘Fenny’ for the 4th April!

Happy Birthday Martin B. for the 22nd

Birthday greetings to Roger for the 7th April

With Alan Reader Polynesia: to forget the name of one's parrot Portly: shaped like a port Probate: the maggots used by full-time anglers Proceeds: the choice of top gardeners Professor: one who talks in someone else's sleep Prologue: a chopped down tree regarded as an expert in its field

With The Imp 1. ‘Southampton is near Blackpool isn't it ?’

2. ‘What colour whitewash are you having?’

3. ‘Is he a teenager?’ ‘Yes he's 21.’

4. ‘I'm using minced steak not beef.’

5. ‘I'm going to use the round oval dish.’

6. ‘There are only 29 days in a leap year.’

7. ‘Venice is famous for its pigeons.’

8. ‘It was made in the early 19th Century about 1905.’

9. ‘This fog is really foggy.’

10.‘Is the ice in the fridge?’

11.‘We've only got three floors to clean, 1st, 2nd, 3rd and ground.’

12.‘How are the charity bike riders getting to France?’

13.‘I had chicken and shredded rice from the Chinese’ 14.‘The three of us would make a good barbershop quartet.’

Many thanks again!

Happy Birthday ‘Tinky Winky’ for the 20th!

Thanks again Imp

Happy Birthday to Peter for the 15th April, from your younger brother!

Hello everybody! I am an actress starring in the latest series of a popular US show that is currently being shown on your televisions.

My character is a forensic anthropologist with a terrific brain and a helpful partner!

But do you recognise me?

Answer at the foot of the page.

Ampthill Park Hub Tel: 01525 406256

Ampthill Park Hub, Woburn Street, Ampthill MK45 2HX adjacent Ampthill Town Football Club

AMPTHILL PARK HUB EASTER FUN DAY On Good Friday 25th March 2016 we held our Easter Fun Day and raised £510.50 for The Seesaw Club (Sight Concern) Ampthill.

We would like to take this opportunity to thank the following for their fantastic raffle prizes:Ͳ Center Parcs Woburn, The White Hart (Ampthill), Flitwick Leisure Centre, The CoͲop (Maulden), Waitrose (Ampthill), Tesco (Flitwick), Headmasters Hair Salon (Maulden), Jack Burgoine Florist (Maulden), The Seesaw Club (Ampthill), Sweet Sensations and our staff & customers.

A big THANK YOU also goes to Ampthill Town Council for all their support, to Corals Bookmakers for supplying all the pens for the Egg Hunt and to all who supported us on the day.

WELL DONE EVERYONE. Also here at The Hub we sell LAVAZZA quality Italian coffee, plus teas, hot chocolate with cream and flake, ice creams, Slush, cakes and more Lots of seating inside and out in Ampthill’s historic country park and room for baby buggies!

Everybody welcome plus the dog (on a lead)! Plenty of parking + toilets with baby changing facilities We look forward to seeing you soon!

Emily Deschanel - ‘Bones’

Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

Page 25

With Lauren Louella Boughalls Greetings to everybody and a big thank you to everyone who sent us an answer to last month’s poser. Well done to Brian, Martin, Josh, Steve, Jenny, James and the many others who correctly identified one of the stones atop Alameda Gates in Ampthill!

Now, this month one of our readers has been out and about in Fuddlerland and has very kindly taken a photograph of this wall showing part of an old bridge and sent it in to us.

But do you recognise it and where it might be?

Receive sms

message co your booking nfirming the evening befor e you travel.

Getting you there relaxed and stress free!

Your premier airport transfer, taxi company in the Bucks area Our rates are extremely competitive whilst providing a higher, more reliable level of sevice.

Place your trust in a well established, reputable company where reliability and professionalism are 1st and foremost.

Don’t forget you can also book your onward travel in over 70 countries around the world from your Arrival Airport to your Resort, City or Hotel of your choice via our website and benefit from the same great reliability.

Book online at www.airportsdirectmk.com T: 01908 22 55 23 or 0800 707 6003 e: info@airportsdirectmk.com

If you think you know drop us an email to martin@thefuddler.com Answer next month!

MOT TESTING STATION IN AMPTHILL We cater for MOT and Servicing for all your individual requirements whilst also accommodating fleet needs.

Ampthill MOT Centre have a fully featured Class IV MOT testing bay. We launched the service in early 2009, serving Herts, Beds and Bucks. Fully qualified MOT inspectors are available for cars and small vans, with over 40 years experience. Authorised vehicle testing station approved by the vehicle inspectorate.

At Ampthill MOT Centre, we carry out servicing and repairs to all makes and models. To prolong the life of your vehicle it is important that you have it serviced regularly. We service all vehicle types and models, including cars, vans, miniͲcoaches & small plant / equipment. If you have your vehicle serviced with us, it will not invalidate the manufacturer's warranty.

Competitive rates.

Collection & delivery

Fault finding

Code reading / Diagnostics Brakes

Engine rebuilds

Batteries

MOT repairs

Fault lights reset

Tyres & Exhausts

Courtesy vehicles

We are a family run business who have been working in the motor trade for over 40 years

Total Fleet Care

Unit 5, Vass Industrial Estate, Station Road, Ampthill, MK45 2RB SERVICING

REPAIRS

Telephone: 01525 405055 Web: www.totalfleetcare.com

When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re online too at www.thefuddler.com!

Page 26

Here we delve more into the whimsical, wacky and interesting world of Montgolfier:

Keech 10K trail Compete in our first ever running event around Putteridge Bury and the Chiltern Hills.

Sunday 15 May 2016 at 10am Supported by:

Putteridge Bury, Hitchin Road, Luton, Bedfordshire, LU2 8LE

To sign up now or for more information contact www.keech.org.uk/keech10K or call 01582 707940.

Registered Charity No. 1035089

Tel: 01582 492339 info@keech.org.uk www.keech.org.uk

I had a Morris Minor many moons ago and my car insurance was £23 (equivalent to about £300 today). At that time the Police used Morris Minors. A friend of mine in Cranfield has one but has had to remove all Police signs etc. The first Morris Minor made looked too narrow and was cut in half (nose to tail) and had one inch added to make it look right.

We have lived at our present address 16 years and have a large quite wild garden but we have never seen a hedgehog.

(Pity) I was looking at a guitar to buy without any strings. Another customer looked over my shoulder and said ‘I should buy that one - there’s no strings attached.

Did you know I have been to 33 countries and visited 27 of them without a passport. I did 12 years as a Royal Marine and after 10½ months training I went to 27 countries and had a fantastic time. My last two year I did plain clothes duty, I could live and dine anywhere I liked and went home every weekend. My boss was a General. I never saluted him as I was in civvies. I did salute him when being interviewed for the job.

I remember when I joined the forces and we were writing letters home one lad at the far end of the room called out ‘how do you spell Concentration Camp?’

There was a restaurant in the Midlands where if a family or group booked a table and didn’t turn up the owner would give them a phone call at about 3.00am and say ‘Will you be turning up or can I send my staff home?’

Parkside Hall Ampthill Saturday 18th June 7.30-11.30pm Presenting A Great Local Group

Gerry And The Attricks Playing 60, 70, 80’s Music For Dancing The 8th Mentmore Arts Festival will be held in Mentmore Church and Mentmore Village Hall. We are raising money for local charities and the Church

In Aid of Keech Hospital Care Tickets £15 To Include Fish and Chip Supper Bring your own Drinks Bumper Draw Bring your friends and support this worthy cause Tickets can be obtained from Roger 01525 405539 Mobile 07541803576 Carol 01525 413042

Do come along to this special Evening Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

Page 27

Your

Local Carpet and Upholstery Cleaning Service

‘Providing a Hassle

Free

service from our professional and friendly cleaners’

All furniture moved and replaced

All work fully insured & guaranteed

Stain and odour removal

Stain Shield protective treatments

Full range of new carpets supplied and fitted Furniture removed and replaced We remove all waste plus vacuum and tidy Samples brought to your home or please ring for an appointment at our Ampthill showroom.

01525 862744 / 07999 909982 Email: thecarpetman1@virginmedia.com

See our website at www.thecarpetman-bedfordshire.co.uk

Digging up the Dirt

Part Vl A Career in Ruins This is an edited and abridged version of a section of the author’s unpublished biography ‘The Extraordinary Adventures of a Very Ordinary Individual’ ‘Tank!’ It was Pete, my assistant site supervisor.

‘Clive wants to see you in his office tomorrow morning first thing.’ Bother, I thought, or words to that effect, ‘What for?’ I shouted out with a frown, ‘How am I supposed to get back over here afterwards?’

We were currently working alongside the A10 dual carriageway extension in Turnford, and we met at the office in Hertford every

morning at 08.00 and went by van to the site; Clive did not drive.

‘I’ll have to get a bloomin bus and then walk to site.’ I added sulkily.

‘Perhaps you won’t have to,’ suggested Pete. ‘You might be getting your UB40,’ he said laughing cruelly.

‘Seriously Pete,’ I said, pretending to ignore his last comment. ‘What’s going on?’

‘Dunno mate, honest.’

He stopped shovelling and sat down on the spoil heap and got out his tobacco tin and made a roll up. Pete and I got on really well. He was born with a stump on his right hand and never took up the offer a synthetic prosthetic limb, but opted instead for a hook. As well as being quite skilled in rolling his cigarettes one handed, he could shovel and

use a spade or a mattock better than most able bodied folk and when we had new guys who struggled with shovelling, or couldn’t be bothered to do it properly, he would make them feel small by showing them up by doing it himself, he even had a special trowel attachment where his hook was attached.

I sat in the wheelbarrow opposite him and gestured towards his baccy tin, he threw it over.

‘Perhaps Clive wants you to go somewhere else, we’re almost done here anyways, I heard that the site in Ware was being prepared’, he said. to be continued ....

All characters appearing in this work are factual. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is entirely intentional.

With Enid Grimshaw Healthy food consisted of anything edible ... meat and potatoes.

People who didn't peel potatoes were regarded as lazy.

Indian restaurants were only found in India.

Cooking outside was called camping.

Seaweed was not a recognized food.

‘Kebab’ was not even a word, never mind a food.

Surprisingly, muesli was readily available, it was called cattle feed.

Water came out of the tap. If someone had suggested bottling it and charging more than petrol for it, they would have become a laughing stock!!

Fortnightly walks are held in and around Ampthill. If you need to get more active these short led walks could be just for you. You walk at your own pace in a friendly group and the walks last about an hour (there are some hills). It’s all free - just turn up. Next walks - all start at 10.00am: 8th April 22nd April 6th May

Ampthill Park, west car park Chequers PH, Houghton Conquest Flitwick Recreation Centre (old cp)

For further information please contact: Lynda on 01234 740788 or at olivetree47@googlemail.com Or Laurie on 01525 403950 or at lalowe@btinternet.com or see http://ampthillheathwalks.blogspot.co.uk

Please telephone: 07903 171384

When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re online too at www.thefuddler.com!

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Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com