The Fuddler March 2016

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Est. 2002

C&R PEST MANAGEMENT x 40 Yrs experience x Fully Insured x Special Rates for OAPS! Wasps, Rats, Mice, Rabbits, Moles, etc Free Estimate 01525 450046 07500 431131

Sick PC or laptop?

Greetings everyone and as always a very big welcome to this ‘bursting to the seams’ edition of your Fuddler!

As always you’ll find lots of local information inside, lots of stories and all the fun and nonsense you’ve come to expect!

Golinska Foot Care Footcare for all the family Nails Cutting Corns/Calluses

Fungal Nails Verrucas

Cracked Heels

Ingrown Nails

Home Visiting Practice

Call the Doc for Hardware & software Diagnosis & treatment

01525-402227 john.stafford@compu-doc.co.uk

Also please carefully look through all the important messages from our advertisers as you never know what you might find in The Fuddler!

We hope you all enjoy the Easter holidays and a very happy Mother’s Day to all Mothers wherever they are!

07926 944302 / 01582 512734 www.golinskafootcare.com Kasia Golinska Foot Health Practitioner MCFHP MAFHP

Our heated mobile grooming parlour comes to you for a no stress ONE to ONE experience. All work is carried out freestyle without the aid of any harsh restraining methods.

x I only use the finest natural products and always use FRESH WATER as my equipment is the latest on the market.

x x x x x

Turbo Hand Drying ( no cage drying ) Double wash System coat conditioning included Nail clipping included if necessary Areas covered MK16, 40, 41, 42,43, 45, 46

Evening appointments also available Ͳ please ring for details

Call Charlie on 07446 189808 or email charliegboy58@gmail.com When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re online too at www.thefuddler.com!

NEED AN ELECTRICIAN? NIC-EIC Registered All electrical work Testing and Certification Free Estimates AMPTHILL ELECTRICAL SERVICES

01525 632921 07977173452

Dawn Smith Dog Holidays Overnight stays and holiday care in our home - a great alternative to kennels.

Walks in the local countryside Est 1998 Collection available

Mobile: 07789 585766

www.dogholidays.vpweb.co.uk alfred.smiths@btinternet.com Overnight Stays

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Ampthill Glass Centre

Quality Windows - Doors - Conservatories - Glass Merchants - Glazing Contractors 12 Ampthill Business Park, Station Road, Ampthill, Bedfordshire, MK45 2QW

Telephone: 01525 403015 / 403609 Fax: 01525 402521 www.ampthillglasscentre.co.uk

Flush 100 (R9 Windows)

Flush 100 (R9) offers the appearance of a traditional timber window, the 100mm frame depth and flush casement design combine to offer a cost effective timber replacement.

With a choice of different coloured foils, traditional styling and furniture along with many other features and benefits, ensure the range looks and feels like natural timber.

Visit our new showroom today!

Aluminium Bi-folding Doors

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Available in any single or dual RAL colour option.

Full range of suited hardware.

High security hinges and locking mechanisms as standard.

Internally beaded with a softline sash.

No window or glazing job too small. x

x Free quotations Over 30 years’ experience

Put your trust in a company that has been trading for over 30 years!

For all your window, doors and conservatory needs call us now or visit our website.

Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

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LOCAL BUS SERVICE NEWS It has been a terribly wet winter, and we can well understand if you haven’t wanted to brave the weather.

Have you visited our fabulous new Wine Bar? Bookings now being taken for Mother’s Day www.bangkoklounge.com

Fortunately, patronage on our buses has held up, and we have been encouraged that passenger numbers increased 20% year on year on our popular 42 and 44 services.

With spring coming, now is the time to get on board.

Fares start from as little as 99p single, and we all know how bad the traffic and parking in Bedford has become.

And don’t forget our regular shopping buses to Milton Keynes and Hitchin Market.

Call us, or visit the website, for more information.

01525 719719 www.grantpalmer.com

This year Flitwick & Ampthill Sea Cadets celebrate our 50th Anniversary. To help us celebrate we would like to build a detailed history spanning those 50 years, starting with our roots in Ampthill as TS Russell.

Have you been a cadet or adult volunteer with us over the last 50 years, or know someone that was??

Do you have written documents or photos you could share with us?

If you can help please contact us either via our fb page or email Debbie on: psa.chairman@fasea-cadets.org

The Friends of Ampthill’s Christmas Lights are holding a fundraising quiz night at the Cross Keys public house in Pulloxhill on Friday 1st April. The quiz is timed to start at 7.30 for 8.00pm and teams of up to 4 persons are invited to enter. The cost per person is £10.00 which includes a Lasagne or Bangers & Mash supper, with a vegetarian option available on request. There will also be a raffle on the night. To enter please call 07904 953096 (eve/weekends) or 01525 844171 (day). All proceeds from the event are in aid of Ampthill’s Christmas Lights.

Tuesday 22nd March is the date for a Charity Flower Demonstration with a difference with Neil Gurney! Organised

by Ampthill and District Tangent, supporting Parkinsons UK, the event is to take place at 7.30pm at Flitwick Village Hall and tickets cost £8.00 to include a glass of wine. For tickets or more details please contact Gill on 01525 721936.

There is to be a Grand Garden Party to celebrate St George’s Day on Saturday April 23rd at the Flitton & Greenfield Playing Field. The party includes a Pimms reception at 5.00pm followed by a superb 3 course dinner at 6.30pm with Raffles and Entertainment and all for just £30.00 per person.

The event is to help raise money for Help for Heroes, Keech Hospice Care and Macmillan Cancer Support. Dress for the evening will be formal or patriotic and therefore the organisers request no trainers, jeans or sportswear. To reserve your tickets please contact Carl Lowe on 077790 10704, 01525 861111 or stgeorgegardenparty@gmail.com

Watch out for details in next month’s Fuddler of the 8th Mentmore Arts Festival which is to be held from Saturday 28th May to Monday 30th May.

dgs accountants SELF EMPLOYED TAX AND ACCOUNTS

SUFFERING WITH ACCOUNTS BLUES? STUPIFIED WITH TAX RETURNS? STRUGGLING WITH TAX REMINDERS?

Call 07790 672699 Email derek_story@yahoo.co.uk For your free consultation

Steve Wildman’s High Quality Carpet, Upholstery, Rug and Leather Suite Cleaning Service Tel: BartonͲLeͲClay 01582 882620

When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re online too at www.thefuddler.com!

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LORD DEE’S PONDERINGS

Duster IV and myself have been busy scouting round the estate preparing a list of things that have to be done in preparation for the influx of Spring and Summer visitors to The Hall. The eastern meadow still seems a trifle waterlogged but repairs to the Ha Ha have been carried out so our ovine friends are quite happy.

The String Fellows Ukulele Band require a Bass Player for informal/social meetings, Tuesday evenings, Start time 7.30 to 10.00 p.m. at the 'Queens Head', Ampthill.

Contact Dennis, mob: 07769 786281.

Across: 1 Guffaw, 4 Babble, 7 Hilarious, 9 Feat, 10 Ecru, 11 Utter, 13 Rakish, 14 Demure, 15 Harlem, 17 Meddle, 19 Radar, 20 Wend, 22 Rest, 23 Groundsell, 24 Rabble, 25 Nodule

Ciao

Security installations…

A BRIANISM

I’m confused!

My horoscope said do not go out on any day that ends in a ‘y’.

Down: 1 Gaffer, 2 Flit, 3 Wraith, 4 Baited, 5 Blue, 6 Endure, 7 Hankering, 8 Scoundrel, 11 Usher, 12 Refer, 15 Hawser, 16 Mature, 17 Madden, 18 Entire, 21 Drab, 22 Read

01525 606162 07821 347434

Ƚ Alarm & CCTV & repairs Ƚ High security door locks Ƚ CCTV images to mobile phones Ƚ Security for outbuildings

“The Fuddler” is published by MDA Publications. The views expressed herein are not necessarily those of the publisher. No part of this publication may be copied in any form or by any means without written permission of the Publisher. Copyright MDA Publications.

Like to book an ad, or ask about our absurdly low rates please ring Martin on

Or if you prefer, drop us an email to martin@thefuddler.com

info@alphasecure.co.uk www.alphasecure.co.uk

AMPTHILL FIREPLACES STOVES

10% OFF SELECTED STOVES AND ACCESSORIES IN MARCH 2016.

Visit our extensive showroom for more information.

1 Bedford Street, Ampthill, Bedfordshire, MK45 2LU CALL: 01525 - 841199 EMAIL: www.ampthillfireplaces.co.uk

Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

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The Crown Station Rd, Flitwick / MK45 1LA / 01525 713737

A Proper Pub for Proper People Now With 4 Real Ales!

Themed Nights Live Music And much much more…

Events and Live Music Coming Soon

Thursday 3rd March – Open Mic Night! 9pm all welcome!

Friday 4th March – Karaoke! (First Friday every month)

Sunday 6th March – Mother’s Day, now taking bookings for Sunday

Roasts!

Saturday 12th March – Join us for our 2 year anniversary here at The Crown with live music from Chris Cole and the Rockets Saturday 26th March – Live Music from 9pm with R’n’R

When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re online too at www.thefuddler.com!

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*Maintenance *Drainage *Driveways *Landscaping *Fencing

*Patios

Contact: Andi Brackenridge T: 07789 681252 Email: enquiries@abbuildingandgroundworks.co.uk

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Sandra’s been busy again looking through her big book of words (dictionary?) and brings us the word below. (Nothing to do with the crossword.) Just look at the hexagon and see whether or not the word jumps out at you!

(Answer at the bottom of the page if it doesn’t!)

E

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Here’s another of Marjorie’s fine crosswords for our entertainment Across: Down: 1 Longing (6) 1 Followed (6) 4 Careen (6) 2 Part (4) 7 Alluring (9) 3 Uproar (6) 9 Myths (4) 4 Apathy (6) 10 Refined fellow (4) 5 Gardener’s basket (4) 11 Storey (5) 6 Boor (6) 13 Detoxify inf. (3,3) 7 Swift canine (9) 14 Roof support (6) 8 Emotion (9) 15 Old English coin (6) 11 Light flintlock musket (5) 17 Radiated (6) 12 Large bird (5) 19 Burdened (5) 15 Pointless (6) 20 Gravitate (4) 16 State (6) 22 Leg joint (4) 17 Repudiated (6) 23 Skimpy (9) 18 Bring up (6) 24 Number (6) 21 Diesel oil (4) 25 Dally (6) 22 Perceive (4)

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Guttering Problems?

Gutters Cleaned.

Electrical Contractor Domestic and Industrial

Leaking Gutters repaired.

Your local Electrical Contractor All types of testing and certification undertaken

FREE QUOTATIONS

New Gutters Fitted.

NICEIC Approved Contractor

All by a friendly local established company

Working with Ampthill Town Council 11 Cedar Close, Ampthill, Bedford, MK45 2UD

Bradnam Guttering

Tel & Fax: 01525 714057

Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

Completed

Call Rob on 01525 552066 or 07977 206403

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wing o h s o Als ita: n o Z t a H 5th C R A M ee: Matin

UT O E D I INS re: eatu F n i a M

RS A E Y 5 4

When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re online too at www.thefuddler.com!

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FARMERS MARKETS The Farmers Market in Woburn is held on the third Sunday of every month from 10.00 - 2.00 at The Pitchings, whilst Ampthill Farmers Market is held on the last Sunday of each month from 11.00 - 2.00 at the rear of Natwest Bank in Ampthill.

DO YOU RUN YOUR BUSINESS FROM HOME ?

Why not place an economical ad like this in The Fuddler and let everyone know what you do?

Just ring Martin on 01525 841434 or email martin@thefuddler.com

Don’t forget The Charter Market in Ampthill every Thursday and Flitwick Market on Fridays!

With The Duchess of Troll

Reflections in the Dewpond .......

THE PHOTO ALBUM

The Photo album remained open on the pine kitchen table in Sam Ilex's wash house shed, while the last of the Christmas cake eaten with a freshly made cup of tea enjoyed by the Five Old Boys, Ten Acre still laughing about the snow pictures, which brought back memories of being stuck in the fields unable to work but enjoying the white magic of the countryside anyhow. Sam remarks that Young Andrew seized his motor engine up!

Turning the pages of the album Rabbit Bob found photos of a cricket match. Sam Ilex leaning over said that was a great day. The Mrs Sam had decided that the two

who was best. Lunch soon came round after a uneventful morning's play. Mrs Sam had returned, the dogs lay down beside the seat, waiting for titbits from the basket as the lunch laid on plates. It looked good, good enough to eat!

The two teams were ages before walking out, a long refreshing lunch, no doubt. The Old Sun fielding, the game slow and steady, the Old Sun bowlers too good for the young un's, then out of the blue a great bat hit the ball high and far to an Old Sun fielder, who quick as lighting tried to catch the flying ball above his head, his arms outstretched to wrap long fingers around the ball, missing he fell flat on his back, others now chasing to retrieve and throw to hit the wicket. suddenly two players run into each other with such force that they too lay flat out!

In the meantime the Young Sun

Old English Sheepdogs needed a whole day out as did themselves, so she busied herself getting a picnic basket together. Not going far, just up Henry VIII Great Hunting Park, No worry about cost of petrol.

On arrival, that morning the car park seemed full, so up alongside the Cricket Pitch finding an empty bench rugs and picnic basket were handily placed. Sam Ilex, in Panama hat watched the last minute pitch inspection. (Rabbit Bob knew that under the green hundreds of tunnels had been excavated by industrious rabbits, that one day the whole lot would collapse.) As Mrs Sam walked the dogs leaving the other half to read the papers, enjoy the balmy day, and watch cricket.

This was just a fun match between The Old Sun and The Young Sun, a yearly event, lots of banter on

batsmen kept running between the wickets. Score kept rising!

Everyone eyes glued on the action.

Having woke up from her nap The Old English Sheepdog Lisa saw the loose ball, picked it up and ran and ran. The Old Sun fielders joined in trying to catch the much faster dog, she loved these newfound friends, twisting, turning, running through legs, two players fell one on top of the other.

The Old Sun players lay scattered in heaps around the pitch. The Young Sun batsmen kept scoring.

The highest Score ever. There wasn't a dry eye up the park, having cried with laughter.

Everyone had watched from the pavilion, cheering the dog on as she made her way between the fallen players. Too exhausted to get up.

What a dog! What a match! What D.O.T. a day !

THE JOLLY COOPERS

Traditional Country Village Pub and Restaurant The weather has turned a bit colder now, but the days are drawing out and the daffs are in bloom??!! So snuggled next to the roaring fire our thoughts turn to spring.

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March is a busy month Sunday 6 is Mothering Sunday so don’t forget Mum treat her to lunch Ͳ we are still taking bookings, and you know she deserves it!

The end of the month brings Easter, early this year.

Saturday 26 is Quiz night teams of 2Ͳ6 battle for the honour of winning the cash prize – really it’s just all good fun, so come along and enjoy. th

Easter Sunday is time for the family so let us cook for you, and you relax and enjoy some good food and a glass of something nice while we do the hard work. Then in the evening let your hair down we have KARAOKE from 8.30pm so we can have some fun.

Easter Monday we are open all day and will serve our three meat roast from 12Ͳ4.

Bobbi and Ian look forward to seeing you soon

You can always check what is going on at jollycoopersflitton.co.uk

THE JOLLY COOPERS, WARDHEDGES, FLITTON, BEDS TEL: 01525 860626 Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

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OSSORY ARMS 9 Arthur Street, Ampthill 07791 908699 www.ossoryarms.co.uk

FOOD SERVED MON - FRI 12.00 - 2.30 SAT/SUN from 10.30

Still serving the famous big and little Ozz breakfast Sunday 6th March Mother’s Day

Book now for Sunday Lunch (Roast Dinner) Special Offer for all Mums Terms and conditions apply

Thursday 10th March Rock & roll bingo quiz £2 per card per person Starts at 8pm Charity event, raising money for Russell Lower School

ST PATRICK’S DAY Thursday 17th March

Paddy’s Day celebrations Irish Stew Selfie Irish props

LIVE MUSIC with ‘G LA ROCHE’

EASTER WEEKEND AT THE OZZ Live music all weekend Saturday 26th March ‘JENNY SALMON AND THE SWITCH’ 8.00pm Sunday 27th March LIVE MUSIC WITH EMMA ROBBINS 6.00pm

Childrens’ entertainment during the afternoon SUNDAY ROAST SERVED 12.00-3.00 Pilsner Urquell The world’s first Pilsner beer brewed in the Czech Republic since 1842

BT SPORTS All BT sports games shown here

When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re online too at www.thefuddler.com!

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CHEESEMANS PHARMACY OF AMPTHILL Tel: 01525 402173

ALL BRICKWORK AND REPAIRS

Huge range of ladies fragrances at up to a MASSIVE 65% OFF!

No job too small

PLUS REPOINTING Please ring Joe

Just right for Mother’s day!

With Jimmy The Voice This month JTV has sent us this picture of 2 lovely Easter eggs pictured on the front of the boxes - but JTV reckons the one on the right is inside the box at the bottom, but where is it? ...

01525 404334

By Julio Van Peebles Julio’s Worries and Useless Facts: 1) Has anyone ever saved some money and not spent it until it's raining?

2) Did you know that the Hawaiian pizza was invented by a Greek man in Canada?

3) Why do women open their mouths when putting on make up?

4) Did you know that if you tickle a rat, it will laugh?

5) Who can remember The Durango Kid? 6) Did you know that The Great Fire of London started on a Sunday?

... we can’t work it out! We reckon that both eggs are on the bottom of each box!

But what do you think?

Another year has rolled by so it’s time to wish Jimmy a Happy Birthday for the 20th March!

Lots of love Sue, Rich and of course Boris xxx

Congratulations to Mr ‘Honky Tonk’ and Lis on their Wedding Anniversary on the 1st April!

with Auntie Vi If my memory gets any worse I’ll be able to plan my own surprise party.

HIYA SIS Thank you so very much for all your kind help!! xx

MOT TESTING STATION IN AMPTHILL We cater for MOT and Servicing for all your individual requirements whilst also accommodating fleet needs.

Ampthill MOT Centre have a fully featured Class IV MOT testing bay. We launched the service in early 2009, serving Herts, Beds and Bucks. Fully qualified MOT inspectors are available for cars and small vans, with over 40 years experience. Authorised vehicle testing station approved by the vehicle inspectorate.

At Ampthill MOT Centre, we carry out servicing and repairs to all makes and models. To prolong the life of your vehicle it is important that you have it serviced regularly. We service all vehicle types and models, including cars, vans, miniͲcoaches & small plant / equipment. If you have your vehicle serviced with us, it will not invalidate the manufacturer's warranty.

Competitive rates.

Collection & delivery

Fault finding

Code reading / Diagnostics Brakes

Engine rebuilds

Batteries

MOT repairs

Fault lights reset

Tyres & Exhausts

Courtesy vehicles

We are a family run business who have been working in the motor trade for over 40 years

Total Fleet Care

Unit 5, Vass Industrial Estate, Station Road, Ampthill, MK45 2RB SERVICING

REPAIRS

Telephone: 01525 405055 Web: www.totalfleetcare.com

Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

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For a Free 1st Class MILK DELIVERY SERVICE

The Accountants you can count on!!

TELEPHONE 01525 402206 Please see our website at www.mauldendairies.co.uk

Accounts, Payroll, Bookkeeping, Tax, Business Advice ... and much more.

Ring to book a free, noͲobligation meeting today!

Maulden Dairies Warren Farm, Woburn Street, Millbrook

Babs was driving along when she saw the flash of a traffic camera. She thought that her picture must have been taken for exceeding the limit, even though she was pretty sure she wasn’t speeding. Just to be sure, she went round the block and passed the same spot but driving more slowly. Again the camera flashed. Now Babs thought that this was quite funny so she drove round again passing the camera even more slowly and still it flashed. She tried it twice more even moving at a snail’s pace with the same result. Two weeks later she got five tickets for driving without wearing a seat belt.

114 High Street, Cranfield, Beds, MK43 0DG Tel: 01234 752566 Email: info@vowles.co.uk www.vowles.co.uk

I would love to grow my own food except I can’t find any bacon seeds.

The good feelings that flow from giving a compliment are as good as the recipient’s are.

Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

I don't need anger management. I need people to stop annoying me.

My therapist said it is OK to have invisible friends. I haven’t got a therapist.

It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and overtake them.

At last. My friend has managed to stop her vaguely silly husband biting his nails. He now wears socks.

How is it possible to have a civil war?

I don’t deserve my boyfriend. So I thought I would try someone else.

If you didn’t know there was a trampoline in the room, why would you dust the ceiling for fingerprints?

I am a nobody and nobody is perfect. Therefore I am perfect.

1. Where would you find the ‘Sebaceous Gland?’

2. What is a ‘Sacred Chank?’

3. Who was Prime Minister of Great Britain from 1924-29?

4. A ‘Wake’ is the collective term for which creature?

5. When was the Battle of Rabaul?

6. I f y o u s u f f e r e d f r o m ‘Anablephobia’ what would you fear?

7. Who created ‘Superintendent Richard Jury’?

8. In which US state is there a place called ‘Cook’s Hammock’?

9. In which novel would you find ‘Benjamin Bailey’?

10.What sort of creature is a ‘Charolais?

1 Skin, 2 Seashell, 3 Stanley Baldwin, 4 Buzzard, 5 1943 WWII, 6 Looking up, 7 Martha Grimes, 8 Florida, 9 Martin Chuzzlewit, 10 Cattle

We are now delivering to Greenfield, Flitton and Pulloxhill too!

Building Preservation Specialists x

Damp Proofing

x

Woodworm Treatments

x

Dry / Wet Rot Treatments

x

Basement Waterproofing

Telephone/Fax (01525) 406655 Mobile: 07850 727752 email: Jim@dunritepreservation.co.uk

16 Tavistock Avenue, Ampthill, Bedford. MK45 2RY When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re online too at www.thefuddler.com!

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T Butlin Building and Plastering

Once again many thanks for your splendid photographs of The Fuddler on its travels! This month on the left we have Gus and Pauline with their Fuddler in front of the Shiva monument in Mauritius and below left there’s John at Miami Beach in Nice, France and below right is Joe trying to interest a suit of armour in Malta!

Est 1987

www.timbutlinbuilders.co.uk

26 years in business For your extensions, renovations, alterations, Upvc fascias / soffitts, guttering, block paving and all plastering including artex ceilings and walls plastered back to flat.

If you have any pictures of a Fuddler being read away from home please send them in to martin@thefuddler.com

Tel: 01525 405670 / Mob: 07778 680393

Also offering: Impressions Female decorators All aspects of painting and decorating.

With female finesse to make the most of your home Tel 01234 751282 or 01525 405670 / Mob: 07944 710179

EN E S V! T S A N O

SUNDAY LUNCHTIME NIBBLES You are invited to enjoy your Sunday lunchtime drink with more bar snacks than you could shake a stick at, and all with Richard’s compliments!

QUIZ NIGHT EVERY WEDNESDAY Our highly popular quiz is every Wednesday starting at 8.00pm sharp. Come and test your knowledge with our guest Quizmasters everyone welcome.

THIS MONTH’S CHESS PUZZLE We’re stumped with this one! It’s white to play and checkmate in two moves.

But how? If you can fathom it out please come in and tell us, have a pint and ask about joining our chess league.

Thursday 17th March ST PATRICK’S DAY Join us for The Craic!

Wall to wall ‘Fiddly Diddly’ music and Guinness a' plenty!

Easter Saturday - 26th March Live music at The Queens with

‘ELECTRIC UKES’ playing 5.00 - 7.00pm HAVING A BIT OF A ‘DO’?

Our lounge bar and adjacent function room are perfect for a small ‘soirée’ and are available for your exclusive use! Please give us a ring or call in and have a look and then see Richard to discuss your needs.

Every Tuesday UKULELE NIGHT

Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

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This is the story about the Easter bunny; I know it’s true some of you will find this funny.

Well the story begins in our small little town Where the Easter bunny is panicking running around, You see all the Easter eggs have been lost somewhere under the ground.

So do you know what he did?

Well let me tell you, only the best thing, a bunny could do.

He hopped to McColl’s, his local convenience store And was amazed what he found as he hopped through the door.

Easter eggs big, medium and some small, Even Easter eggs made to look like a football.

The great cracking deals were so good he was in shock, But he suddenly remembered to check the time on his clock.

Soon there will be lots of children around And as we all know the Easter bunny must not be found.

So filling some baskets, with loads of eggs, He even managed to balance some on his front legs.

He paid the nice man which was of course me, And then off he went to his burrow which was under a tree.

So now when the children all go out on that Easter egg search, Just think of the bunny that’s asleep under a tree somewhere near to the church.

But don’t worry there’s still enough Easter eggs for all of you, You know where to go as the bunny gave you a clue.

MCCOLL’S YOUR LOCAL CONVENIENCE STORE 17 CHURCH STREET AMPTHILL TEL: 01525 404096 OPEN: MON-SAT 6AM TO 8PM SUNDAY 7AM TO 8PM

DID YOU KNOW? ...

During our life time, our brains record events that happen to us through touch, taste, sight, sound and smell. It is stored on neuro pathways in our brain.

Without us being aware, our brain accesses information constantly. Sometimes we are aware, sometimes we are not. I am sure if you think about a certain smell or taste it brings back a memory. Fresh bread always reminds me of visiting my Aunty Pam when I was a child. If I am in a store that is baking bread I am instantly transported back in time to happy school holiday visits.

Whilst it’s great to store happy events, unfortunately negative events are also stored. Over time, whilst not consciously being aware of the feelings, negative data can represent itself as Fears, Phobias, Stress and Anxiety. You can find yourself feeling LOW and not know why.

SO….. how would you feel if you were free from any depression, phobias, stress, anxiety, panic attacks, fears you may have?

It’s an interesting thought isn’t it?

The great thing about my service is that it is not a talking therapy, it’s not counselling and it’s not hypnotherapy. If you look on my face book page (Sarah Wood UK/NLP) there are also some great audios on there, to help with all sorts of things like sleeping, anxiety and positivity.

Why not visit my website sarahjanewood.co.uk and face book page Sarah Wood UK/NLP for more information or give me a call 07818 474175. I look forward to hearing from you, and remember, if you always do what you’ve always done you’ll always get what you’ve always got!

Sarah Jane Wood Emotional Management and Mindfulness Coach Neuro Linguistic Programming Practitioner

When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re online too at www.thefuddler.com!

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Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

Page 15

Felicity Scott, Chairman of the Friends of Bedford Hospital, pictured with Paul Mead of Michael R. Peters and the prizes that can be won in the charity raffle supporting the ‘Friends’ - this does not include the World Cup though!

Call us on 01234 352107 or visit us www.michaelpeters.co.uk When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re online too at www.thefuddler.com!

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FREE PRESCRIPTION DELIVERY Can’t get to the chemist or surgery?

Don’t worry, we’ll pick up your prescription from your surgery and deliver your medication to your door.

Covering Ampthill, Clophill, Flitwick, Houghton Conquest, Maulden, Silsoe, Wilstead & surrounding villages.

CHEESEMANS PHARMACY OF AMPTHILL Tel: 01525 402173

EAT LIKE AN ITALIAN!

EASTER SERVICES IN AMPTHILL 2016 COME AND JOIN US

Homemade food served in a friendly and relaxed atmosphere

Seating up to 60 people on two floors with 5 dining rooms.

BOOK YOUR PARTY WITH US Birthdays Club Events Anniversaries Company Meals or just a family get together OPENING TIMES: Monday evening 6.00 Ͳ 9.00 Tuesday to Friday lunchtime 12.00 Ͳ 2.00 Tuesday to Thursday evening 6.00 Ͳ 10.00 Friday and Saturday evening 6.00 Ͳ 11.00

91, Dunstable Street Ampthill Tel: (01525) 404666 Free parking available

www.donatellospizzeria.co.uk

Good Friday – March 25th - Walk of Witness through Ampthill: starting at St Andrews Church at 10.00am, stopping at the Market Square and ending at Ampthill Methodist Church.

Ampthill Baptist Church Maundy Thursday – March24th Agape Supper with communion at 7.30pm Easter Sunday–March 27th Sunrise Service near Katherine’s Cross in Ampthill Park at 6.30am. All age service at 10.45am Ampthill Church of England – St Andrews Maundy Thursday – March 24th Morning Praise Service at 10.15am Eucharist service at 8.00pm Good Friday – March 25th Remembering Together Service at 12.00-1.00pm Reflections (Thoughts and Prayers) at 1.00-3.00pm Easter Saturday– March 26th Easter Vigil at 8.00pm Easter Sunday– March 27th Holy Communion at 8.00am Eucharist and Easter Egg hunt at 9.30am Eucharist at 11.15am (St Michael and All Angels, Millbrook) Communion at 11.15 (St Lawrence, Steppingly) Service of Hymns and Readings for Easter at 6.30pm Ampthill Methodist Church Easter Sunday - March 27th Easter Service with communion at 10.30am Flitwick Catholic Church - Sacred Heart, (Serving both Flitwick and Ampthill) March 19th - Palm Sunday Vigil Mass at 6.00pm March 20th - Palm Sunday Mass at 11.00am March 21st - Lenten Service of Reconciliation at 7.30pm Good Friday - March 25th Good Friday Service at 3.00pm Stations of the Cross at 7.00pm Easter Saturday - March 26th Easter Vigil at 9.00pm Easter Sunday - March 27th Easter Sunday Mass at 11.00am

March 13th Birthday greetings and very best wishes to Andy

Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

A VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO WENDY FOR THE 1st APRIL!!

Page 17

Bigens e Scr

The Win gfieLD c

Musi e v i L

Uche Eke Band Sat 12th Mar

8.30

Live

till

Live

Late

Mus

ic

Children’s Easter Disco Sun 27th Mar

Mus

ic

All day

(Adults

from

2pm)

See posters in club for full details

Apr: 9th RDG - Live Band Top Quality - Low Prices Beers, Wines & Spirits

Real Ales & Beers from £2.70 - Lagers from £2.95 Vodka/Whisky/Gin Doubles £2.20 New Prosecco £3.60 and Fine Wines £2.80

VW UG 6XQGD\V

Kids

Assortment of games

every

Meat Raffle Sunday

13 prizes

Bumper Raffle 13th March -

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Private members club affiliated to CIU Mon - Thurs 12 - 3pm & 7 to 11pm - Fri & Sat (patrons only) 12 to 11:30pm - Sun 12 to 11pm

arking

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New Top Table Two function rooms and the Lounge bar available for hire - day and evening competitive rates - Weddings, Christenings, Birthdays, Wakes etc (all day opening available weekdays and weekends)

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Page 18

AMPTHILL ACCOUNTANCY TUTORS ONE TO ONE TUITION COVERING ALL AAT UNITS and F1, F2, F3, F7 ACCA

36 Dunstable Street, Ampthill Telephone 01525 634857

PGCE Qualified Tutor

2500+ Ales from April 2010

Call 07790 672699

THE PERMANENT BEER FEST

Email derek_story@yahoo.co.uk

SOUTH BEDS CAMRA PUB OF THE YEAR 2014

All 6 Nations Rugby shown Plus ...

Enjoy the Epicurial delights of our Gourmet Pickled Eggs and Pork Scratchings. (see Trip Adviser) Other snacks also available

Don’t tell anyone but we’re celebrating our 6th Anniversary in April!

Watch this space for details!

You can’t B&T it!

CAMRA BEDS PUB OF THE YEAR 2013 OUR OTHER PUBS ARE: The Globe, Winfield Street, Dunstable (Bedfordshire Pub of the year 2010) - Tel: 01582 512300 The Wellington Arms, Wellington Street, Bedford (North Beds Pub of the year 2010) - Tel: 01234 308033 The Elm Tree, Orchard Street, Cambridge - Tel: 01223 502632 The Brewery Tap, North Bridge Street, Shefford - Tel: 01462 628448 Seven Stars, Albert Square, Rugby, CV21 2SH - Tel: 01788 561402

www.banksandtaylor.com

With Dr. Benjamin J Häagen - ‘Traveller Extraordinaire’ Well dear friends. I last left my travel blog thinking how I could get both Flora and Ashley to Australia after my thoughts focused on those lovely Gelateria in the bay!

We spent hours discussing Flora’s news and where she could honeymoon.

Expense and luxury were not going to be a problem as Thomas BaskinRobbins was the heir to the largest dairy estate in southern England, supplying some of the best delicious cold, creamy and flavourful food that excites all that tastes such a delicacy.

Flora looks to her uncle for advice and guidance and as I have been her guardian since the loss of her parents and my brother some years ago, I do feel morally bound to ensure that my travel experiences are always to the fore so she can benefit from my extensive knowledge. Flora showed me how to browse the interweb on my new smart phone as I had asked her how to find a certain address in the state of New South Wales.

Flora, my dear, travel Australia for your honeymoon and stay in Manly, where there are the very best beaches and you can use this as your base for that part of the south east. Manly Beach is another of Australia's most popular suburban beaches along Sydney's long stretch of northern coastline.

Manly Beach was named in 1788 by Captain Arthur Phillip, the first governor of New South Wales, because he was impressed by “the confidence and manly behaviour” of the area's original Aboriginal population. Take the majestic Manly ferry from Circular Quay and in half an hour you'll be at Manly Wharf. Nestled between a tranquil Sydney Harbour beach on one side and a popular Pacific Ocean surf beach on the other, the laid-back character of Manly Beach seems a thousand miles from busy Sydney, yet it is only a ferry ride away.

I love Manly and lived there for some three years when I was on secondment to the Australian Government for various research projects.

Being close to Sydney, my mind started wandering again back to the Cremeria De Luca!

But wait, how could I have forgot the marvellous Royal Copenhagen. Royal Copenhagen Ice Cream is an Australian company founded in 1982 by BT Wykoff after he imported the first circular gas fired cone cooker from Denmark. His intention was to introduce an ice cream parlour, based around waffle cones fresh off the cooker being filled with freshly made ice cream, all made on the premises from authentic Danish recipes.

The Danish theme continued into the store design and uniforms.

The first shop opened in December 1983 on The Corso in Manly to a fascinated and enthusiastic public and still draws and excites its customers today. Me included!

You will not believe the flavours, which amount to some 52 in number and range from Anzac Biscuit via Devils Chocolate onto Orange and poppy seed!

My favourite, Pistachio Nut, packed with so many nuts you better ensure your dentures are fixed well!

Now, to persuade Flora and Thomas this is where to come and for me to work out how I can be there as well!

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Page 19

Sight Tests

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Page 20

BOB AMBLER HOME DESIGNS

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Carpentry

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email: engineandtender@live.co.uk Engine & Tender - Bar

6 NATIONS RUGBY

Final day 19th March CHILLI AND A DRINK £5.00!

EASTER BBQ

Sunday 27th March food from 2.00pm Look out for QUIZ dates

SUNDAY 3rd April COME AND TRY OUR FANTASTIC FOOD MENU Mon - Fri 12.00 - 2.00pm Mon - Thurs 5.00pm - 8.00pm

BT Sport & Sky Sports If it’s on - it’s on here!

According to Meerkat’s research “January is named after Janus, the god of beginnings and transitions. The name has its beginnings in Roman mythology coming from the Latin word for door (ianua) since January is the door to the year” (Wikipedia) January 2016 saw Central Hairdressing Salon, Dunstable Street, Ampthill (01525) 403111 take on its own transition when it discarded its old, rather tired looking overcoat and adorned a beautiful gown in delicate silver grey. Yes, I am talking about re-decoration. Everything matches, tones and with an artistic touch to detail, things such as ornaments, mirrors, wall clocks, display shelving etc compliment the overall decor ...... it is rather like adding the jewels and tiara ... the finishing touch. As one of the customers said ‘it’s absolutely beautiful’ Meerkat thinks there is much more to visiting the hairdressers than a chop with the scissors, or a curl with the rollers although of course that is important - it is a place of relaxation, a place to read, to chat or just while away a little bit of time in thought and comfort. Central Hairdressing Salon has always had a good reputation for being, and I quote other customers, ‘home from home’ ..... ‘the best shop in town for courtesy and friendship’ What more can Meerkat say?...

JH ELECTRICAL AND PROPERTY MAINTENANCE SERVICES • DOMESTIC • INDUSTRIAL • COMMERCIAL

24 HR CALLOUT AVAILABLE All electrical work undertaken email: supaspark@tiscali.co.uk

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Page 21

YOUR LOCAL Memory Foam Mattresses Direct from the manufacturer at trade prices!

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Page 22

STARTING A BUSINESS? If you would like to book an economical advertisement in The Fuddler to get the word around just ring Martin on 01525 841434 for all the details!

As always - a very Happy Birthday to ‘Beanie’ for the 17th March

With Alan Reader Picador: instruction to choose an entrance Piccalilli: instruction to choose a flower Piccaninny: instruction to choose an idiot Pillage: how old the tablets are Placebo: stand in for a Spanish tenor Plaque: prize for a dentist Pliers: members of a football team - as spoken in Mayfair Many thanks again!

With The Imp

1. ‘I used to drink that when I was older.’

2. ‘He told her she was his son.’

3. ‘It's definitely false misrepresentation’ 4. ‘It will be at 11 O'clock this afternoon.’

5. ‘I didn’t see you in your Hi Vis jacket.’

6. ‘They shouldn't send a spokesperson to speak to the press, they should send someone who can tell them what's going on.’

7. ‘I like the look of those ham shanks.’

8. ‘Between the three of them, those two can do it.’

9. ‘I had a full glass of port and they filled it up with champagne.’

10.‘Queen Anne made furniture didn't she?’

11.‘I'm sure there was an odd number of people there, yes, there was sixteen of us.’

12.‘If it stays this sunny it will be nice.’

Thanks again Imp

Happy Birthday to Fred for the 19th March!

Hello everybody! I am an actress starring in the latest series of a hard hitting and very popular US television show in which I play a detective in a specialist police unit. (And that’s a huge clue!)

But do you recognise me?

Answer at the foot of the page.

Ampthill Park Hub Tel: 01525 406256

Ampthill Park Hub, Woburn Street, Ampthill MK45 2HX adjacent Ampthill Town Football Club

COME AND JOIN US FOR OUR EASTER FUN DAY ON GOOD FRIDAY 25th MARCH Starting at 11.00 am with bouncy castle, Easter Egg hunt, Tombola, music and more!

Also here at The Hub we sell LAVAZZA quality Italian coffee, plus teas, hot chocolate with cream and flake, ice creams, Slush, cakes and more Lots of seating inside and out in Ampthill’s historic country park and room for baby buggies!

Everybody welcome plus the dog (on a lead)! Plenty of parking + toilets with baby changing facilities We look forward to seeing you soon!

Kelli Giddish - Law & Order SVU

Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

Page 23

T.H.E. BEST

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Back in the seventies I went to stay with a girl-friend and her family in Chippenham. Here I was introduced to her brother and his best friend, a cousin. The brother was a mechanic who mended tractors and the such like whilst the cousin worked on the family farm. They had tried the usual country pursuits of fishing and shooting but their shared passion was speedway, fans of the Swindon Robins. They only attended home fixtures however, in fact it was doubtful if they had ever left the county. They were certainly more agricultural than worldly-wise. In order to broaden their horizons a trip to London was planned. This was the ‘happening place’ which had new fangled things like electricity and piped water (OK that was a slight exaggeration, but you get the picture).

Consequently one morning saw the pair rolling wide-eyed into Waterloo Station. They had been told that the Underground was the way to get around and so upon spotting the sign descended into the tube system. An hour and a half later, and getting increasingly more anxious, they were still on the Underground system having tried several trains and lines but getting more and more lost. Quite by chance they arrived back at Waterloo, got off the tube, climbed the stairs and boarded a train just about to depart for Wiltshire, relieved and vowing never to return P.S. The anachronistic ex-landlord has recently purchased a bag for life. Hmm? Hope he didn’t spend too much.

P.P.S. I have a confession to make. The person spotted by Sam Ilex skiing in Ampthill Park was yours truly.

ODD JOBS Home Improvements

Do you have a wish list of outstanding jobs around the home or garden?

Perhaps you think these are too small for specialist trades or you don’t have the time or proper tools We are a friendly local service based in Ampthill specialising in all your small building and DIY requirements around the home and garden.

Further details can be found on my website of the range of who we are, the services we can offer and local work previously done.

Please call Ian to discuss your requirements on 07415 281969 Ͳ Turn DIY into Get It Done

Now serving Great, Fresh, Pub Grub and well kept Real Ales.

Weekly Specials (Booking Advisable) Monday Ͳ 2Ͳ4Ͳ1 Main courses off our à la carte menu

Tuesday Ͳ 'Celebrate the Sausage' Ͳ Build your own Sausage & Mash for just £8.95.

Wednesday Ͳ 'Day of the Steak’ Ͳ 8oz Rump Steak Dinner for only £10,

Thursday Ͳ ‘Blast from the Past’ Ͳ Two classic pub main courses for £15.00.

Choose from our specially created pub menu.

Sunday Ͳ ‘Traditional Sunday Roasts’ Quality, locally sourced produce put together to create one of the best Sunday Roasts in the area.

Gluten free and vegetarian roasts are also available.

Adults £10.95, Children £6.95

(The full À la carte, Vegetarian and Children’s Menu will also be available alongside these offers)

Serving food 7 days a week (Until 9.00pm Monday to Saturday and 12.00 to 6.00pm Sunday)

Matt, Sharon and the team look forward to welcoming you to The White Horse.

To Book call 01525 280565

The White Horse, 1 Mill Road, Husborne Crawley, Bedford, Mk43 0XE www.whitehorsehusbornecrawley.squarespace.com whitehorsehc@gmail.com.

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Page 24

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www.aatripleglazing.co.uk YOU CAN EAT IT, BUT YOU WOULDN’T WANT TO LIVE ON IT! Some years ago, a couple of years before I went to boarding school, I spent a few happy years at a prep school in Ipswich. It was the ONLY school I ever enjoyed being in, not sure I learned much but that was partly on account of Aspergers syndrome, not popular in those days, or even understood. So I bumbled through life in a haze of misunderstanding, trying to keep a low profile, rather tricky for an energetic extrovert!

We had several lessons that had strange names, like “English Comprehension”, I was probably in my 30’s before I understood what the

word comprehension meant, how ironic?! What records I have, suggest I was no older than eight years old at the time, but certainly more than six.

I remember one clever activity was a system whereby a topic was taught, and later on we were “tested” by simply drawing a picture of what we believe we had learned. Not appropriate for many topics but good for some. A case in point was the Geography lesson during which we learned about the life and activities of natives of central Africa, what they wore, the houses they lived in, how and what they hunted and ate etc.

On that occasion we had two tasks, one was to make a little model straw roofed hut using cardboard and raffia and later we had to draw a picture that showed some aspect of their

Please telephone: 07903 171384 lives.

I started with enthusiastic pencil strokes and colouring in crayons and soon teacher, while wandering past came to an abrupt stop, “that’s a nice drawing James, can you explain it”. Now my drawing was of a LARGE dead Elephant, lying on its side with several little huts on its back.

After several attempts at explanation met with a blank look of disbelief, I lost it and said “Look! Miss Pringle, you told us that if these people managed to hunt a large elephant, they could live on it for weeks” I think her reaction was a mixture of sympathy and slight intrigue as to what was going on between my ears. I am happy to say that my mind still works that way, and I would not wish to change it.

The Pseudo Rustic

Congratulations to ‘The Smithies’ on their Wedding Anniversary on the 31st March

A lady golfer paid a lot of money to her professional for lessons in an attempt to improve her game. After playing 18 holes she turned to her caddie and with a degree of self satisfaction enquired "Noticed any improvements today caddie?" to which the caddie replied "Yes ma'am you've had your hair done!"

A very Happy Birthday Julian for the 8th!

Garage Door Solutions Ltd Painting and Decorating For all your interior and exterior decorating requirements.

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Your local garage door expert for:

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Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

Page 25

With Lauren Louella Boughalls Hello again to everybody and very many thanks to all those who correctly identified the last picture as being the Feoffee Almshouses, Church Square, Ampthill. So congratulations to the very many people who got the answer right including Patricia, Josh, Carolyn, Brian, Roy, Iris and everyone else that we haven’t room here to name - but thanks! And of course thanks again to Lis for sending in the photo. Now, this month we have been out and about in Fuddlerland and couldn’t resist bringing this photo to you! But do you know where it is?

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Book online at www.airportsdirectmk.com If you think you know drop us an email to martin@thefuddler.com Answer next month!

T: 01908 22 55 23 or 0800 707 6003 e: info@airportsdirectmk.com

Maulden Garage Ltd FOR ALL YOUR VEHICLE NEEDS Modern Classic or Vintage Repairs, Servicing, Breakdowns, Fabrication, Tyres, Exhausts Classic Rally Car Preparation and on event service support Unit 10 Woodside Clophill Road Maulden Beds MK45 2AE www.mauldengarage.co.uk mauldengarage@btconnect.com

01525 862877 Free local delivery and collection service

When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re online too at www.thefuddler.com!

Page 26

Here we delve more into the whimsical, wacky and interesting world of Montgolfier:

Complete Tyre Support

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0844 8000 333 www.threecountiestyres.com

We have a large orchard and had masses of apples last year.

After storing and giving lots away there were masses left.

Probably about a ton left lying there. I thought I will never put them in a compost heap. So they were all left an got less and less. Eventually not an apple was left and probably not a pip. The birds and deer cleared them. One afternoon there were 24 pheasants and 2 blackbirds helping themselves. A very big thank you.

I almost always use a fountain pen except when doing crosswords. It’s easy to buy a bottle of ink but have you ever tried buying blotting paper? The only place I found any was in Great Missenden just over one hour’s drive away.

A lot of gnomes went missing from a garden on the outskirts of Aylesbury. They were found 2 days later at the main bus station queuing up for a bus to get home.

According to my last Fuddler a hippopotamus would make 17,636 burgers. We’ve got some hippos near here and I’ve never seen them make just one.

A garage on the way to the West Country had a big sign saying PETRROL. Lots of motorists pulled in for petrol just to say they had spelt it wrong.

Major Tim Peake was in a vehicle travelling at 17,500 mph and got out for a walk. I wouldn’t even get out of a train for a walk even if it was only doing 70 mph.

Did you know that the doors on Cardington Hangars weigh over 400 tons each? That’s 800 tons for each hangar and when they are being opened you can just see them moving.

RIDGMONT STATION Tea Rooms A delightful hidden gem!

FRESHLY MADE FOOD ...

CAFÉ MENU x A selection of teas, coffees

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sandwiches x Toasted paninis x Plus lots more! x Great value and a friendly service!

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BIRTHDAY PARTIES We can also cater for up to 16 people for a special Birthday Party!

RIDGMONT STATION | STATION ROAD | RIDGMONT BEDFORDSHIRE | MK43 OXP T: 01525 287 120 M: 07861 732 850 E:ridgmonttearoom@gmail.com Full disabled access, toilets and free car park

HOW TO FIND US: By rail alight at Ridgmont Station By road follow station signs from A507

Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

Page 27

R.S. TILING

Fortnightly walks are held in and around Ampthill. If you need to get more active these short led walks could be just for you.

You walk at your own pace in a friendly group and the walks last about an hour (there are some hills). It’s all free just turn up. Next walks - all start at 10.00am: 11th March 25th March

For further information please contact: Lynda on 01234 740788 or at olivetree47@googlemail.com Or Laurie on 01525 403950 or at lalowe@btinternet.com or see http://ampthillheathwalks.blogspot.co.uk

Digging up the Dirt

This is an edited and abridged version of a section of the author’s unpublished biography ‘The Extraordinary Adventures of a Very Ordinary Individual’ ‘OK that will do guys, we’ve done enough for today, lets clear up and get out of here,’ Ivan called out, ‘I think we all deserve a beer.’ He continued.

‘We can finish off tomorrow, and I’ll come up here on Monday with Clive, we’ll photograph what is exposed and try and salvage anything significant that we can that comes out of these pits’.

‘Clive?’ I asked Hugh as we packed up. ‘Clive’s the Unit Director,’ he replied.

As we made our way back

Your

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down the track where the earthmovers and bulldozers etc were parked like sleeping giant mechanical monsters, I pondered all the archaeology and history that ignorantly and unwittingly I had helped destroy whilst laying the gas pipes over the last three years.

From now on I decided I would be interested in what was coming out of the holes rather than what was going to go in them. About a month later I finished my apprenticeship, left the Gas Board and joined the Hertfordshire archaeology unit.

I had no experience in archaeology but I had enthusiasm and a new passion that was driving me with a keen thirst for knowledge, plus I could dig holes. Ivan and Hugh put in a good word for me to Clive and I was taken on.

I started out as a trainee field archaeologist and within a

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month or so had graduated to the heady height of experienced field archaeologist. Ivan had been tragically killed in a motorcycle accident in the week leading up to my start, and it was a sombre place indeed for a while. People got on with their work though and archaeology does give you the opportunity to be at peace with yourself and deal with stuff in a way some other vocations may not afford. One Thursday afternoon I was working away in a world of my own wondering what secrets I was about to reveal when I was hailed. to be continued ....

All characters appearing in this work are factual. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is entirely intentional.

With Enid Grimshaw Brown bread was something only poor people ate.

Oil was for lubricating, fat was for cooking.

Tea was made in a teapot using tea leaves and never green.

Sugar enjoyed a good press in those days, and was regarded as being white gold.

Cubed sugar was regarded as posh.

Fish didn't have fingers in those days.

Eating raw fish was called poverty, not sushi.

Prunes were medicinal.

Thanks Enid - do send some more!!

Local Carpet and Upholstery Cleaning Service

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Page 28

Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com