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Hi everyone! Welcome to another sizzling edition of your Fuddler! As you look through the magazine you will find lots of useful information about local events, fetes and other attractions. You will also find man y important messages from our

C&R PEST MANAGEMENT x 40 Yrs experience x Fully Insured x Special Rates for OAPS! Wasps, Rats, Mice, Rabbits, Moles, etc Free Estimate 01525 288207 07500 431131

advertisers which we ask to carefully look at - because, without a doubt, ‘Whatever you need - you’ll find it in The Fuddler!’ We hope you have fun with the edition and if you decide you would like to advertise all our contact details are on page four.

WHITEHARTAMPTHILL.CO.UK 10 FANTASTIC EN SUITE DOUBLE ROOMS

EVERY WORLD CUP GAME

FIXED PRICE AERIAL INSTALLATIONS

Pint of Carling just £1.98 until the 1st goal scored! FREE BBQ ON ALL ENGLAND GAMES Watch all the games on over 15 TV screens!!

See our ad on page 24

AMPTHILL FESTIVAL’S 3 DAY EVENT!! See centre pages of this issue for all the information

NEED A LOCKSMITH? Please turn to our ad on page 34

Plus - All aspects of home security

D & G SHORT

Fairies n Frogs Children’s Gifts and Toys

Staples Garden Centre, Fordfield Rd, Millbrook, MK45 2HZ

Telephone 01525 402959 Workshops & Clubs available - please come in for details We stock card making supplies, decoupage, water colour supplies and much more! DMC Silks, Jewellery, beads and findings. Stockists of wool - Robin, Bretts, Come and Peter Pan & Wendy.

UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT

10% discount with this ad until 30th June

ask about our new

LOYALTY CARD!

NOW OPEN IN QUEENS ROAD,AMPTHILL (Opposite Russell Lower School)

Traditional Toys, Games, Books and Gifts Small & Friendly

With a BIG Choice If we don’t have it ~ we will attempt to get it Come and have a browse Opening Hours: Mon ~ Wed 10 ~ 5pm, Thur 10 ~3pm Fri 10 ~ 6pm, Sat 9.30 ~ 2pm

www.fairiesnfrogs.co.uk

When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re on line too at www.thefuddler.com!


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THE PRINCE OF WALES 24 Bedford Street Ampthill MK45 2NB Tel: 01525 840504 Fax: 01525 840574 New Special offer

Four Seasons at The Prince of Wales Our weekly menus will comprise of only the finest locally sourced fresh seasonal produce. Our aim is to provide good quality home produced food at an affordable price . Monday to Thursday Evenings from 7 pm 2 courses £15.00 / 3 Courses £20.00 Sunday Lunch 2 Courses £15.00 / 3 Courses £17.00 Children welcome and accommodated for and charged accordingly

Lunch times - we serve a wide variety of Jackets, Salads, Sandwiches and Main Courses from £5.00 to £10.00 We serve our full A la Carte menu on Friday and Saturday evenings. We would Like to apologise in advance that The Prince of Wales will not be Showing any Football during the World Cup .

However you will still be able to dine and enjoy quality home cooked food in our restaurant and bar.

With Summer now here, isn’t it time you considered replacing those doors and windows? Or maybe a new conservatory to enjoy. Don’t compromise on style - call into our showroom and see our stunning range of doors and windows including “The Composite Door”.

No window or glazing job too small.

33, RUSSELL DRIVE AMPTHILL

Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com


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Sharman Law S O L I C I T O R S Incorporating Sharman & Trethewy

The Solicitors who care for you, your family and your business 88 Dunstable Street, Ampthill Telephone: 01525 750 750 1 Harpur Street, Bedford Telephone: 01234 30 30 30 Email: mail@SharmanLaw.co.uk Website: www.SharmanLaw.co.uk

Saturday 19th June 10.30 am - 2.OO pm Grand Raffle, ploughman’s lunches, tombola and many other attractions. Have you ever wondered who is buried in our church yar d? Come on a 'Tombstone Trail' on fete day and find out........ DON'T MISS IT !'

Saturday 12th June at 2.00 pm sees the annual Church Fete at Millbrook Village Hall with traditional stalls, cream teas, Pimms bar and even trips around Millbrook Proving Ground! A ‘Quintessential English Summer Afternoon!’ Then in the evening there is to be a

Friday 18th June 7.00 pm Entrance Fee ÂŁ4 Come and be pampered to help raise funds for the school! The following treatments are available; Reiki, Indian Head Massage, Body Massage, Facial Massage, Manicure/Pedciure and Reflexology. You simply pay the therapist direct on the night. There will also be stalls selling candles, lingerie, make up, jewellery and cards.

Tickets are limited so book early Contact Debbie on 07752 390 829

SUMMER BBQ AND LIVE BAND

Sunday 4 July 2010 1.00 pm – 5.00 pm Lavender Court are holding a fete on the afternoon of Saturday 10th July. There are to be stalls and a Honky Tonk Brass Band! See next month’s Fuddler for more details.

starting at 7.30 pm with Classic Rock and Blues band ‘Out-Take’. There will also be a licensed bar, real ale and good food!

ÂŁ3 Adults, Children free Entrance programmes available from the Market Square on the day or before the event from Angie Murdoch

Tel: 01525 403076

FREE ADMISSION TO BOTH EVENTS

Email: angiemurdoch@virginmedia.com

Garage Door Solutions Ltd Your local garage door expert for:

Replacements, Repairs and Spares x All makes & designs available x 24 Hour repair service x No call out charge x All work guaranteed x Free quotations Call us now on: 01525 721615 / 07761 093468 Website: www.garagedoorsolutionsltd.co.uk Or see the yellow pages

3, Woodcock Walk, Flitwick, Bedfordshire, MK 45 1RD

HATTERS GARDEN SERVICES   

         

   

  ͉ͳͲ’‡”Š‘—” 

PHONE JONO: (01525)405767, 07787818590 When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re on line too at www.thefuddler.com!


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LORD DEE’S PONDERINGS With Royal Ascot coming up this month, in fact the 15th - 19th, Check-It-Out and Duster told me that I should inform you that horse racing is always referred to as just racing. It is still considered incorrect to say ’horse racing’. So now you know.

Must dust off the Topper though! Ciao

A BRIANISM I am taking this volcanic ash cloud situation quite seriously - I've sealed my wheelbarrow up in Clingfilm.

Office and commercial. Hotels, pubs and retail. Grounds maintenance and janitorial. Great packages for new customers. Telephone Natalie or Brenda on 01582 535291 or 07855 016872.

Across: 1 Strong, 4 Hinted, 7 Pedagogue, 9 Sten, 10 Slug, 11 Deter, 13 Noises, 14 Robber, 15 Breton, 17 Sacred, 19 Yodel, 20 Lied, 22 Step, 23 Rosinante, 24 Revere, 25 Export

Down: 1 Season, 2 Oxen, 3 Grapes, 4 Hooker, 5 Nous, 6 Dagger, 7 Perimeter, 8 Elaborate, 11 Decoy, 12 Royal, 15 Bolder, 16 Novice, 17 Sedate, 18 Depict, 21 Dove, 22 Stop

AT HOME OR WORK

Full and part valets, Hand washed and polished Seats and carpets cleaned Call Nigel on 01525 261485 Mobile 07977 605987 email: nigelpaul_nigelpaulrober@yahoo.co.uk

Visit our showroom. Over 70 modern and traditional fireplaces and stoves on display.

Selected Ex-Display Fireplaces 1, Woburn Street, Ampthill, Beds and Stoves Tel: 01525 841199 at up to www.ampthillfireplaces.co.uk - Fri: 10am - 5pm 30% off Mon Sat: 10am - 4pm Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

“The Fudd ler” is published by MDA Publications and printed by Fidelity Print Solutions. The views expressed herein are not necessarily those of the publisher. No part of this publication may be copied in any form or by any means without written permission of the Publisher. Copyright MDA Publications.

Like to book an ad, or ask about our absurdly low rates please ring Martin on


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SKIP and Mrs Skip welcome you to the

OSSORY ARMS 9 Arthur Street, Ampthill 01525 841508 www.ossoryarms.co.uk

QUIZ NIGHT

Every Thursday night is

Free Wi-Fi available Ideal for Business Meetings

Start time 8.30 pm 1st, 2nd, 3rd prizes Plus jackpot round COME AND JOIN THE FUN

NEW SUMMER BAR MENU

We regularly hold Charity Quiz Nights. Please contact us if you would like us to hold a quiz night for your School, Charity, Charity Organisation etc.

2 Large TVs ALL WORLD CUP GAMES SHOWN

SERVED MON - SUN 12.00 - 2.30 Daily specials available

SKIP’S FAMOUS BIG BREAKFAST SERVED FRI/SAT/SUN From 10.30 am

Snack menu and BBQ available during England games

When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re on line too at www.thefuddler.com!


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ARAGON WINDOWS Your local specialist in UPVC for:Windows, Doors, Patio Doors and French Doors, Conservatories Fascia, Soffit and Guttering Our windows and doors are 70mm internally glazed for security. All windows are fitted with fire hinges, locking handles, a twin action espagnolette mushroom headed bolt system, and with vent facility. Doors are fitted with claw and mortice lock, and panels are reinforced. Fully compliant with current FENSA Regulations, plus insurance backed guarantee.

CHRIS FREEMAN Tel/Fax 01525 403992 50 Russell Drive Ampthill Beds Established in 1990 and built on reputation

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So here we are again with yet another of Marjorie’s fine quick crosswords that she has very kindly sent to us. Thanks again!

Across: 1 Devastate (7) 5 Drill (5) 8 Leg joint (5) 9 Ship (7) 10 Rehearsed (9) 12 Fish (3) 13 Berated (6) 14 Made amends (6) 17 Small deer (3) 18 Royal Yacht (9) 20 Omen (7) 21 Tapas (5) anag 23 Eaten (5) 24 Length of material (7)

Down: 1 Steep slope (5) 2 Request (3) 3 Cinema (7) 4 Rubbish (5) 5 Attempted (5) 6 King of Mycenae (9) 7 Goaded (7) 11 Cessation (9) 13 Sheep’s disease (7) 15 Part Rep (7) anag 16 Anguish 6) 18 Strength (5) 19 Knowing (5) 20 e.g. Aegean (3) P

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This has nothing to do with the crossword, but Sandra is still looking up words in her big book (dictionary?). See whether or not the word jumps put at you. (Answer at the bottom of the page if it doesn’t!)

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*Maintenance *Drainage *Driveways *Landscaping *Fencing

*Patios

Contact: Andi Brackenridge T: 07789 681252 Email: enquiries@abbuildingandgroundworks.co.uk Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

Periscope

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McKENZIE BUTCHERS PROBABLY THE BEST B.B.Q SELECTION IN BEDFORDSHIRE (We’re worth a trip out - we guarantee it will be worth it) We specialise in making that B.B.Q great We can cut & marinade all meats to your choice and taste All meat is cut fresh on day of sale by our friendly fully trained team.

3 lbs freshly marinated B.B.Q chicken only £5.00 Choose from six marinades

3 lbs mighty meaty spare ribs only £5.00 3 lbs freshly made homemade sausages only £6.00 14 mouth watering varieties

2 tasty varieties chicken breasts on skewers Tasty King Prawns on skewers Fresh homemade steakburgers / pork + apple burgers

4 lbs boneless / skinless chicken breasts £10.00 Fresh sirloin / fillet/ rump t-bone steaks

OVER 50 FRESH MEATS We specialise in quality at affordable prices Call us today for help and advice

PLANNING A WORLD CUP B.B.Q - LET US HELP!

01234 851619 100, High Street, Kempston, Beds MK42 7AR OPEN TUESDAY TO FRIDAY 9 AM - 6 PM SATURDAY 9 AM - 5 PM SUNDAY 9 AM - 4 PM When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re on line too at www.thefuddler.com!


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Servicing Spares Repairs ON ALL MAKES OF CARS, MOTORCYCLES LIGHT COMMERCIALS OLD AND NEW

MOT’S ARRANGED, MOT WORK CARRIED OUT Reasonable Rates

Benedictus of the ‘9 Tails’.........

Remember Benedictus the Church cat of a few ‘Fuddler’ editions ago? How he went off to meet his pals? But the on the way things changed dramatically for him, remember?........... Bennie scurried up the lane dodging the people as he went for although in a state of confusion he decided to make for the Church at the top of the lane, his home, the place he knew…or rather

Experienced Mechanic

thought he knew! Reaching the door he rested for a moment well hidden underneath a huge bush near the Church door and then seizing the moment, unnoticed and with lightening speed, he slipped inside..…Oh my! This was certainly not the place he knew yet it was familiar. It was much bigger. There was a north aisle, a Chantry Chapel and a Guild Chapel. For a moment he panicked and then as though he knew where to go he ran straight into the Chantry Chapel escaping the

Traditional Irish cakes. Including Orange cake and Porter cake. We can supply to businesses. We are also distributors for Paul Hollywood artisan breads including Olive bread, brioche and Kentish Sour dough. Telephone Brenda on 07855 016872 many people flocking into church that morning. He needed to think. Then something even stranger happened …a moment when time slipped through time present and back into time past, yet time was still firmly in the future!.... for sitting in the corner was the most magnifice nt cat of enormous proportions and to Bennie’s amazement he immediately recognised h i m …… G r e a t Uncle Abraham! …. But he should not be here. What was happening?

Auntie Sue, Uncle Jim, Richard and Auntie Vera wish Sarah a fantastic 16th Birthday on the 22nd June Much love and have fun, go girl!! xxxxx

To be continued next month ….

Get your hands off - they are my chips!

Bedford Street, Woburn, MK17 9QB Telephone: 01525 290219

www.magpieshotel.co.uk

Traditional Sunday Roast at The Magpies Special offer 2 courses £9.95 3 courses £12.95 Bring this ad with you and get a further 10% discount Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com


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STAPLES GARDEN CENTRE

GREAT SUMMER GARDEN FURNITURE DEALS! ES M A H C TH N E B D O WO D R 9 9 HA . 9 6 £

MAD RID B GLAS LACK 6 Com S SE T fy ch

airs, para table sol £ & 399.9 9

2 & 4 SEATER HARDWOOD STORA TABLES Chairs that fit under the table when not in use

2 Seater £149.99 4 Seater £299.99 10% off Garden Furniture with this voucher during June

f o e ng a r s t e a u e q r e G b r a B k c a Outb

FORDFIELD ROAD, MILLBROOK, BEDFORD MK45 2HZ When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re on line too at www.thefuddler.com!


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Dick Molloy Local Painter & Decorator Free quotations

07872 938037 28 years experience

BMJ HOME & GARDEN SERVICES For all those jobs around the house and garden, that you never have time for!

We are an established, reliable trustworthy & a very reasonably priced company. NO JOB TOO SMALL

Tel: Joolz or Michael on 01525 211670 Mob: 07871 802815

June 4th MAGOO IS 50 !!

With Jimmy The Voice

JTV has again been kind enough to share another curious picture with us … it appears to show a happy couple. But are they?

Jimmy is not too sure because he looked at the image upside down! See what you think.

By Julio Van Peebles

(no longer a Tonka)

1) Does anyone live in a hot calling zone? 2) When is a shower deemed to be 'Squally' 3) If a deaf person goes to court, is it still called a hearing? 4) In public conveniences, does anyone ever wait for the hot water to come through? 5) Who on Earth puts fish in a kettle anyway? Different or not ! Julio’s Top Tip: If you wear glasses, save money on alcohol by drinking half as much and then taking your glasses off !!

JUNE 19th To my darling Hotlips on our 34th Wedding Anniversary much love, always and forever, Susie Q xxxx

Have a great 50th With Love Sue, Kerry & Bex

BOTOX YOUR HOUSE!

Before …

… And after

Give your house an extension and boost it’s value! Give Stuart Palmer a call fod limited, CHARTERED ARCHITECTS, 21 DUNSTABLE STREET, AMPTHILL MK45 2NJ

T: 01525 406117 Email: fodltd@hotmail.com Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com


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JH Building Preservation Specialists x

Woodworm Treatments

x

Dry / Wet Rot Treatments

x

Basement Waterproofing

Telephone/Fax (01525) 406655 Mobile: 07850 727752 email: Jim@jrobb65.fsnet.co.uk

16 Tavistock Avenue, Ampthill, Bedford. MK45 2RY

24 HR CALLOUT AVAILABLE All electrical work undertaken email: supaspark@tiscali.co.uk

I know I got a lot of exercise the last few years,...… just getting over the hill. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else. Temptation will lean on the door bell, but opportunity knocks only once. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. My friend’s husband is so silly that he studied for a blood test - and failed. If you are a vehicle travelling at the speed of light, what happens when you put your headlights on? Was Ernest Porridge a cereal killer? Keep your privacy in a railway carriage by simply impersonating a Formula one racing car very quietly. We all get heavier as we get older, because there's a lot more information in our heads. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Try computer dating - you might meet someone nice if the computer doesn’t turn up. Optimise the chances of successful video conferencing by wearing clothes.

OSTEOPATH Help for painful musculoskeletal conditions ŀ Back

• DOMESTIC • INDUSTRIAL • COMMERCIAL

ŀ Neck ŀ Shoulder

ŀ other muscle & joint pain ŀ trapped nerves

Tel: 01525 405759

1. By what name is Ernest Evans better known? 2. What is a ‘Scotch Blackface’? 3. I f y o u s u f f e r e d f r o m ‘Anthrophobia’, what do you fear? 4. In the USA there is a town called ‘Telephone’, in which state is it? 5. What is a Haboob? 6. Charles Van Depoele invented what? 7. W h er e w o ul d y o u fi n d ‘Montague Tigg’? 8. ‘Float’ is the collective term for which creature? 9. In which game would you find the term ‘Control’? 10.Where would you find a ‘Gorget’? 1 Chubby Checker, 2 Breed of sheep, 3 Flowers, 4 Texas, 5 A wind, 6 Electric railway, 7 Martin Chuzzlewit, 8 Crocodile, 9 Bridge, 10 Suit of armour.

Damp Proofing

Babs was trying to sleep. The next door neighbour’s dog was barking as it had done for months. It barked for hours robbing her of her sleep. Finally Babs put on her dressing gown and thought ‘Right, I've had enough, I’m going to do something about it.’ So she went out of the back door and a little while later she came back to bed. ‘What did you do? The dog’s still barking’ called her friend from the next room. ‘I put the dog in my back garden - let’s see how they like it.’ replied Babs sensibly.

ELECTRICAL AND PROPERTY MAINTENANCE SERVICES

x

FREE PRESCRIPTION DELIVERY Can’t get to the chemist or surgery? Don’t worry, we’ll pick up your prescription from your surgery and deliver your medication to your door.

Covering Ampthill, Clophill, Flitwick, Houghton Conquest, Maulden, Silsoe, Wilstead & surrounding villages.

The clinic is in Ampthill town centre, and you are most welcome to contact me for further advice about osteopathy, and whether it could help you. www.osteo-pathway.co.uk 1 Kings Arms Yard (off Church St) Ampthill MK45 2PJ

CHEESEMANS PHARMACY OF AMPTHILL Tel: 01525 402173 When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re on line too at www.thefuddler.com!


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Stewartby Way, Stewartby, Bedford MK43 9NB

FORTHCOMING EVENTS 8.00 pm START Rock & Roll 1st Friday of the month Sunday 13th June

REGULAR MONTHLY QUIZ NIGHT free entry Saturday Evening 26th June

MELVIS IS ELVIS (Live Tribute Act) free entry

Friday Evening 2nd July

ROCK & ROLL CLUB - LIVE BAND MIKE & THE RHYTHYM STARS Entry £7.00 on the door

Saturday 3rd July

SOUL & NORTHERN SOUL NIGHT Entry £5.00 on the door

LOUNGE BAR / GAMES ROOM / RECREATION HALL

CANCER (June 22-July 23) The moon in its ascendancy could prove to be a beneficial time for you perhaps in more ways than one. Listen carefully to those around you.

CAPRICORN (Dec 23-Jan 20) Your outlook seems to be changing in a more positive way. Some people may raise an eyebrow as your new persona becomes more confident.

LEO (July 24-August 23) As we approach the peak of summer, you may be considering far reaching changes in your life. Long term travel seems a distinct possibility.

AQUARIUS (Jan 21-Feb 19) When the full moon is in its ascendancy you will perhaps feel that anything is within your grasp. Beware taking advice from a stranger.

VIRGO (Aug 24-Sept 23) Your lucky streak appears to be continuing despite the negative comments that people are coming up with. Ignore them and do your thing.

PISCES (Feb 20-March 20) The excessive workload that you have recently been taking on appears to be easing. A long awaited holiday could be just the remedy.

LIBRA (Sept 24-Oct 23) There would seem to be several things playing on your mind of late one of which may be troubling you unnecessarily.

ARIES (March 21-April 20) You seem to have everything under control apart from one or two annoyances. Keep calm and all should turn out for the best.

SCORPIO (Oct 24-Nov 22) Now that the summer is really here, you seem to be drawn toward a new venture which has the chance of an exciting new beginning.

TAURUS (April 21-May 21) Your love life appears to be on shaky ground. Is this because you refuse to back down. It is not possible to always have things your own way.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov 23-Dec 22) There could only be the one thing holding you back from that which you really wish to achieve. Don’t heed the doubters.

GEMINI (May 22-June 21) If the news you are expecting is not what you want to hear, keep calm. There will always be another time to do as you planned.

FUNCTION ROOM TO HIRE AT VERY REASONABLE RATES! For your parties, receptions etc. We are also able to supply in house catering services plus our renowned ‘ACE’ Disco Roadshow

We take care of EVERYTHING WE WILL DESIGN AND INSTALL YOUR BATHROOM, OLD SUITES DISPOSED OF -

Please call us for more details

LIVE WORLD CUP FOOTBALL SHOWN

with reduced Bar prices during all England matches!

Plus ...

Line Dancing every Monday Adult Tae Kwon Do classes every Wednesday Bingo every Thursday

And lots more besides!

FULL SIZE SNOOKER TABLE

Families welcome - drinks at Club prices! Parking available

NEW MEMBERS ALWAYS WELCOME

ALL WORK FULLY GUARANTEED BEAUTIFUL RANGE OF TOP NAME SUITES & SHOWERS ; PLUMBING

; ELECTRICS

; CARPENTRY

; TILING

; FLOORING

; DECORATING

TELEPHONE: CLUBHOUSE 01234 768261 OFFICE

01234 768112

Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com


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YOUR LOCAL Memory Foam Mattresses Direct from the manufacturer at trade prices!

No.1 For Scooters, Stairlifts & Mobility Can’t get to us? Call now to organise a free no pressure home demonstration with one of our friendly sales advisors.

Curved & Straight stairlifts available. At Comfort Mattress we manufacture and distribute high quality Memory Foam mattresses locally from Shefford. We sell direct to the public and trade cutting out the middle men, allowing us to sell a range of foam products at FANTASTIC low prices!! Take advantage of massive discounted prices only available from our Factory Outlet at 12C Oldbridge Way, Shefford Ind Est, Beds SG17 5HQ 30% Discount off web site prices with this voucher. Not to used with any other offer

New and used Scooters, part ex welcome. Wheelchairs, Ramps, Walking Sticks, Grab Rails, Tri-Walkers, Rollators, Bathlifts, Waterproof Clothing & much more. For more information call us or visit our website at www.comforthomecare.co.uk

WWW.COMFORT MATTRESS.CO.UK When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re on line too at www.thefuddler.com!


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DOG WALKING ‡'DLO\ZDONVRIIRUW\ILYHPLQXWHV ‡'DLO\ZHHNO\RURFFDVLRQDOO\ ‡6DIHVHJUHJDWHGWUDQVSRUWDWLRQ ‡2IIOHDGZDONVZKHUHSRVVLEOH ‡0D[RIIRXUGRJVSHUZDONHU Excellent socialisation for your dog, peace of mind for you!

PET SITTING

Ampthill & District Lions are holding a ‘MURDER ON THE NILE’ mystery drama evening on Saturday 19th June. The event is to take place at Flitton & Greenfield Village Hall at 7.00 for 7.30 where teams will compete for a shared prize to solve the mystery and decide who is responsible for inflicting the evil deed! Tickets are priced at ÂŁ15.00 which includes 2 course meal with full bar facilities.

Please telephone 01525 630315 to reserve your seat or see www.ampthilllions.btik.com

‘Listening to Swing, Blues and Jazz on good quality sound equipment’ Our next meeting will be held on Thursday 17th June 2010 7.30 pm at the Ellen Pettit Memorial Hall, Woburn Sands

'RJV

Frances & Derek Davies, with “A Fine Romance� and Pete Meadows, with “Swing into June�

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ENTRY: Members: ÂŁ2.00, Non members: ÂŁ3.00 Guests very welcome Free car parking available behind the shops in the High Street, entry from Russell Street. Membership application forms available at the desk.

&DWV Â&#x2021;6WD\LQRZQKRPHHQYLURQPHQW Â&#x2021;2QHRUWZRYLVLWVSHUGD\ Â&#x2021;/HWRXWLQOLWWHUFKDQJHGDQGIHG Â&#x2021;Âś3XUUIHFW¡DOWHUQDWLYHWRDFDWWHU\

For further information call David Higgs, 01908 583937, or Rex Harris, 01908 281235

6PDOOSHWV Rabbits, guinea pigs, hamsters, birds, rats & ferrets are welcome in our home! Â&#x2021;&DJHVKXWFKHVIRRG EHGGLQJFROOHFWHG Â&#x2021;)HHGLQJSHWWLQJDQGH[HUFLVHJLYHQ

PET TRANSPORTING Â&#x2021;6DIHVHJUHJDWHGWUDQVSRUWDWLRQ Â&#x2021;7RDQGIURPYHWVDQGJURRPHUVHWF

...are Milton Keynesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s premier airport transfer company. Whether a business trip, or a much needed break, Airports Direct are dedicated to getting you to and from your airport stress free and in comfort and style. 100% reliable, professional service guaranteed. DVDâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s / coolers available.

01525 860606

www.thepetaup www.thepetaupair.co.uk pair.co.uk

,1685('_32/,&(&+(&.('_5()(5(1&(6$9$,/$%/(_(67

T: 0800 707 6003 E: info@airportsdirectmk.com www.airportsdirectmk.com 33 White Alder, Stacey Bushes Milton Keynes, MK12 6HE Company No. 5318754 (England & Wales)

Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com


Page 15

Registered Member of The British and Podiatry Association

Hosted by Ampthill Baptist Church

Sunday 20th June 2010 11.00 am to 4.30 pm at Ampthill Baptist Church (Dunstable St, opp Cottage Bakery) a FREE fun day out for all the family - YOU can make a difference!

Stalls from many organisations including: Greensand Trust, Energy Saving Trust; Green Business Network; Wildlife Trusts, Beekeepers Association Demonstrations and speakers throughout the day Swap Shop – bring your clothes, toys and books Photo competition and ‘Recycled Fashion’ Show Children’s craft activities, face-painting and story-telling Local food; live music 4.00 pm – informal all-age Celebration service for more information: www.ampthillbaptist.org.uk

Top Gear/Flitwick Motors Yard (6 High Street Flitwick) Sunday 4th July 2010 All Day from 10 am Busy Bees Pre-School will be holding a Charity Car Wash in aid of the pre-school. This will be held in the Top Gear/ Flitwick Motors Yard 6 High Street, Flitwick from 10 am. Come along and have you car washed for a minimum donation of £3* and enjoy a free Tea of Coffee courtesy of Annie’s Café while you wait! *£5 for larger vehicles i.e. 4x4’s and MPV’s For more details please contact Claire on 01525 719222

HPC Registration No. CH17913

THERESE GRAY FSSCh. Dip Pod Med. MBChA. Chiropodist/Podiatrist Surgery By Appointment

Telephone: 01525 841845 Email: therese_777@msn.com Corns, calluses, nails, bunions, verrucae, foot health advice, shoe advice, hot wax treatments, reflexology and one hour foot pamper.

Gift Vouchers available ICE Integrated Clinical Excellence 35 Russell Drive Ampthill MK45 2TX

Woburn Country Foods

BUTCHERS & FARM SHOPS

BBQ MEATS 28 Day Aged

Beef Rump Steaks £2.50

Hand Made 6oz Burgers Marinated Pork Ribs / Marinated Chicken Minty Lamb Grill Sticks

Plus lots more Bedfordshire meats...….

West End Farm London Lane Haynes West End MK45 3RA Tel:01234 740300

Food Hall Frosts Garden Centre

Woburn Sands MK17 8UE

woburncf@btconnect.com www.woburncountryfoods.com

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Page 16

OFFICE: SMART Motorcycle Training 38, Kings Road, Maulden, Beds MK45 2DT

TRAINING CENTRE: SMART Motorcycle Training, Redborne School, Ampthill, Beds MK45 2NU

We have so many great offers, I don’t know where to begin And I do not think there is enough space in The Fuddler to fit it all in. So let me start by telling you about our offers on newspapers delivered to your door, Or if you wish we can save them for you, to collect from our store. We can offer you the Express newspaper for 8 weeks at half price, Just think of having it delivered to your door, wouldn’t that be nice? Or what about a £25 gift voucher with 12 weeks with the Times, or the Sun Just think about what you could spend it on wouldn’t that be fun? Or would you like the Mirror, delivered through your door And after 6 weeks you will get a £10.00 M & S voucher, who could ask for more? It doesn’t matter what great offer, from Martins you wish to choose, With fantastic offers like these, you simply cannot lose. So for details on the offers above, and many more Please give us a call or pop in to our Church Street store. I would just like to remind you that Father’s Day is coming soon The date you need to remember is the 20th of June We have great cards and gifts on display To help you make it a great Father’s Day So that’s about all the info The Fuddler could squeeze in, So for more fantastic offers you will have to pop in. Hope to see you soon - Martins Newsagents 17 Church Street Ampthill 01525 404314

Benedickters Caterers

Wholesome food emporium

Established 1989

Stockists of HANDMADE PIES Freshly made soups and sauces using local produce Gluten free products and other dietary requirements Free Range Organic, Dairy, Tofu and Soya Products Lunchtimes: Jacket Potatoes, Hot Pies, Hot Soups & Baguettes Open: 10.00 am - 4.00 pm

High Quality, Freshly Prepared Food from a Café Royal Trained Chef Over 23 Year Experience x x x x x x x x

Summer Balls & Gala Events Dinner Parties Weddings Canapés & Cocktails Buffets Vegetarian Specialities Covering Beds, Corporate Functions Bucks, Herts & Surrounding Counties City & Guilds Qualified

92 Dunstable Street Ampthill MK45 2JP

92 Dunstable Street Ampthill MK45 2JP

01525 404753

01525 404753 01234 742762

email: janice@benedickters.fsnet.co.uk www.benedickterscatering.co.uk

email: janice@benedickters.fsnet.co.uk www.benedickterscatering.co.uk

Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com


Page 17

THE WINGFIELD CLUB LTD C.I.U. Affiliated

37 Church Street, Ampthill, Beds 01525 403321 (Bar) or 841736 (Office)

Appearing at The Ampthill Festival Gala Day in Ampthill Park on Sunday 27th June! Many Congratulations to Father (Doctor) Mouse!!

Happy Birthday Sandie for the 12th June Have a fabulous day

Much love Sue, Jim, Vera, Richard and Boris XXXX

Beat the credit crunch with Formula One Scooters ‘Now the summer is here to stay, its a pleasure to ride a scooter everyday.’ With the price of car-parking, tax and petrol, the ideal vehicle for commuting is a scooter; a years’ tax on a scooter is only £15. Very cheap to insure. At Most rail stations parking for a scooter is free (£6.20 a day for a car), coupled by the fact that you can actually park. The other obvious advantage is that you can get circa 100 miles to a gallon. You can ride a 50 cc at age 16, or if you have a full car licence, just twist and go, no test or ‘L’ plates required.* Come and visit our new showroom at Station Road Industrial Estate for loads of new and exciting models on display FROM AS LITTLE AS £750.00 BRAND NEW, TAXED & REGISTERED * Providing licence obtained prior to February 2001

F1 Scooters Unit D, Station Road Business Park, Ampthill, Beds MK45 2QY (Immediately behind Eckart)

0845 313 8400 Ɣ 07961 775420 www.f1scooters.co.uk

Meeting rooms & Large Lounge for hire Free WiFi

PLUS

Cheapest bar in Ampthill to enjoy the World Cup We have John Smiths £2.45, Fosters £2.70, Strongbow £ 2.70, Green King IPA £2.45, Guinness £ 2.85, Red Stripe £2.80, Carling £2.70 plus a fine selection of spirits

Wine Special for World Cup Pinot Grigio, Chardonnay, Chenin Blanc, Shiraz, Merlot & Liebfraumilch all at 187 ml for £2.50 each

Food laid on with every England game lads

Rosie’s special Beef burger, Hot Dogs Cheeseburger or a mouth watering B.L.T. First one FREE

When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re on line too at www.thefuddler.com!


I L L

A M

P T H

presents live in Ampthill Park

Starts 7pm Gates open 6pm Tickets £12.50

25.06.10

P T

A M

Page 18

AM P TH ILL FES T

2 N D A M PT

PAULINE BLACK

of The Selecter

SATURDAY at 7 GATES OPEN 6P

STAR

AMPTHILL CONC IN ASSOCIATION WITH STUDENTS

AMPTHILL T REDBORNE JAZZ B PETER HOARE TENOR & LICENSED BA WITH

sos e y b B s d o e t h S u p p o r C K a n d Mfurco m A vailable hill. J t p R E m A K TIN ETS now a eet, r t S d r o edf o.uk TICK c B . , s T k I c R o SPI mpr a . w MOON w Supported by: e a t w nd FOOD n i l n o a Or D BAR SE

LICEN

Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com AMPTHILL

ADVANCE TICKETS ADULTS £15 FAMILY TICKET £35

ON THE DAY TICKETS ADULTS £20 | FAMILY TICKET £50 (2 A

TICKETS AVAILABLE FROM OR ONLINE AT WWW.A


Page 19

T H I L L

Ampthill Gala Day

T IVAL PRESENTS

HILL PA RK

Sunday 27th June 2010 Celebrating 30 Years of Ampthill Festival

12.15pm – Parade: Theme – ‘Let’s Party’ from Station Road, via Dunstable Street & Woburn Street to Ampthill Park If you want to register your involvement in the Parade you can do so by contacting Clare Pickering on 07939522740 or at clareabell_2000@yahoo.com

Entertainment – 1pm to 5pm

M FOR PICNICS

RRING

ERT ORCHESTRA FROM REDBORNE UPPER SCHOOL

TOWN BAND AND BAND ALSO FEATURING LOUISE OWEN SOPRANO AR AND FOOD | CHILDREN (10YR AND UNDER) £7

(2 ADULTS + 2 CHILDREN) CHILDREN (10YR AND UNDER) £10 ADULTS + 2 CHILDREN)

M WAITROSE (AMPTHILL)

Knights of the Crusades Mr Topper Lennie the Land Train and much more...

I L L

JUNE 26TH 7PM

• • • •

P T H

A M

1pm – Gala Day in Ampthill Park

Music Acts* – 1pm to 7pm Singing 4 Chips Rubber Cindy The Whybirds - www.myspace.com/thewhybirds Duncan A Alias Tristan Infernoso Betaboy - www.myspace.com/betaboy Fran Bove - www.myspace.com/franmusic Rogue Radio - www.myspace.com/rogueradiowaves The Nimblewits - www.myspace.com/thenimblewits The Folk n Ska Souls - www.myspace.com/folknskasoul

Amusements, Fairground Rides, Licensed Bar, Charity & Business Stalls Festival Stalls If you want to book a stall for your group or business, you can do so by emailing mark.a.smith@ampthill.org.uk or visit our website to download a form.

www.ampthillfestival.co.uk

AMPTHILLPARKPROMS.COM

&

When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re on line too at www.thefuddler.com!

*Subject to Change

The White Hart Hotel Ampthill


Page 20

One for the ladies this month! I am a well known actor on your TV screens a lot in a popular US drama series. And I agree with the ladies - peeping round the wall is monstrous! You’ll find the answer at the foot of the page.

Happy Birthday Mandy for 22nd June!

Solo performing Trumpet player and vocalist with backing tracks Pubs, Clubs, Bars, Weddings Jazz, Jive, Rock ‘N’ Roll, Swing Tel: 01525 404069 or Mob: 07973 971 209

With Andy - our Hampshire correspondent The American State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska. The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38% If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died because of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes. Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on 4th July, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on 2nd August, but the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later. On which day are there more collect calls than any other day of the year? - Father's Day Thanks once more for these pearls of wisdom!?

Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

Dirty Dave's has a sign in his kitchen. ‘If you don't like my standards of cooking ... then lower your standards.’

Courtesy Ruby Here’s another splendid word of the month courtesy of Ruby! The word this time is ‘Seraglio’ but do you know what it means? The answer is at the foot of the page if you don’t.

Harem

Carpentry, Block Paving, Fencing, Heavy Duty Picnic Tables, Hanging Baskets etc ALL AT GREAT PRICES!

Honky Tonk Music By Paul Roberts

Eddie Cahill from CSI New York


Page 21

U.P.V.C. Installation Specialist Certass Registered. 10 year Insurance Backed Guarantee Installations Assured

Windows • Doors • Conservatories • Porches Porch Canopies • Replacement Units

Do you find it difficult to get a reliable tradesman to do the small to medium sized jobs around your house? Then we are the answer to your prayers! We have many years experience in carrying out all types of general domestic maintenance. No job is too small, work is carried out to the highest standards and is realistically priced.

Call Paul on 01525 751752 or 07906 221444 for a free written estimate. References available.

AT PRICES YOU CAN AFFORD

Tel: 01525 720 696 Email:welnewwindows@btinternet.com ‘A Business Built on Recommendation’

Sent in to us by an eagle eyed reader! ‘Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday bring it back or further steps will be taken.’ Well, thanks for that and if anyone else spots a daft sign, please send it in! Northy

Easty

Southy Happy Birthday for whenever it is!

Do the following exercise, it is guaranteed to raise an eyebrow. Think of a number from 1 to 10. Multiply that number by 9. If the number is a 2-digit number, add the digits together. Now subtract 5. Determine which letter in the alphabet corresponds to

email: paul@prbmaintenance.co.uk x x x x

General carpentry Kitchen fitting Tiling Coving

the number you ended up with: (example: 1=a, 2=B, 3=c etc.) Think of a country that starts with that letter. Remember the last letter of the name of that country Think of the name of an animal that starts with that letter. Remember the last letter in the name of that animal. Think of the name of a fruit that starts with that letter. Now look at the bottom of the page - you may be surprised!

If you would like to book an ad in the next edition of The Fuddler please ring Martin on 01525 841434 to check on space availability.

x x x x

Decorating Garden decking Fencing And much, much more ...

1. I didn’t know if we were coming out tonight or not had I known I would have looked forward to it. 2. I missed that call on my mobile because it was on vibrate and I didn’t hear it. 3. I’m glad that they didn’t have what we wanted, otherwise we would have queued up for hours to get it.

Happy Birthday Josh for the 29th June! Did you know that another obscure Royal appointment is ‘Officer of the Royal Innuendo’?

Electrical Contractor Domestic and Industrial

Outstanding gardens designed for outdoor living

Your local Electrical Contractor All types of testing and certification undertaken

Small garden? - no problem Large garden? - We love them!

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FREE QUOTATIONS Working with Ampthill Town Council 11 Cedar Close, Ampthill, Bedford, MK45 2UD

Tel & Fax: 01525 714057 When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re on line too at www.thefuddler.com!

Are you thinking of a Kangaroo in Denmark eating an Orange ?


Page 22

PARTY ROAST

Having a Bar-B-Q?

Outside Function? Why not have a Pig / Lamb Roast?

The Ultimate in Al Fresco Entertaining! We can supply: Roasting machine Meat or poultry Chef / Carver Glass hire Full outside bar facilities Salads, buns and other buffet items to your taste

Why not phone us for a quote and let us take the strain out of all your outdoor party needs? Tel: 01525 872140 07836 323835 / 07508 527155

By Michael McSpleen

Episode 4000000000000015

It was already getting beyond that dusky half light in the late winter air and a smell of homely wood fires mingled with the dank smell of last year’s dead vegetation lying on the sidewalks and under the neatly trimmed hedgerows. My oppo was looking casually around and I inwardly admired her professionalism; ‘not bad training in the limey branch of the Agency’ I thought as I drew calmingly on my Lucky Strike. I slowly finished my cigarette and tossed the glowing stub into the drain, still aware that we were right in the centre of some kind of dead zone that defied our scanner technology. Hard to believe given the highly sensitive nature of the advancements that had taken place since

those early encounters back in the fifties in the American desert with alien ambassadors. Sure, ordinary folk were now switching on their microwaves cookers or donning oven gloves that would protect their hands from extreme heat. Geez, even a space shuttle take off was no more news than a flight to Detroit! Yet right here, was some alien p re s e n c e t ha t c o u l d scramble our sensors like some early Radar, the kind they used to guide us to the Jap Zeros in the Pacific when I was just a normal young guy. That was before I served on that base when we had found a damaged space craft and the rescue party that was sent to us fixed my war wound and somehow gave me time resistance. I still looked (and felt) no more than forty yet I knew, as did my oppo, that I was into my eighties. To be continued

T Butlin Building and Plastering Est 1987

www.timbutlinbuilders.co.uk

For your extensions, renovations, alterations, Upvc fascias / soffitts, guttering, block paving and all plastering. Tel: 01525 405670 / Mob: 07778 680393

Also offering: Impressions Female decorators All aspects of painting and decorating. With female finesse to make the most of your home Tel 01234 751282 or 01525 405670 / Mob: 07944 710179

Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com


Page 23

When you advertise in The Fuddler - youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re on line too at www.thefuddler.com!


Page 24

COME AND SEE OUR RANGE OF MACHINES AND GET EXPERT ADVICE FROM OUR 25 YEARS OF EXPERIENCE

WE SERVICE ~ REPAIR ~ SELL MOST LEADING MAKES OF LAWNMOWERS AND GARDEN MACHINERY CHECK OUT OUR WEBSITE FOR MORE INFORMATION ON BIG BRAND NAMES AT www.bladeslawnmowers.co.uk

BLADES LAWNMOWERS, STAPLES GARDEN CENTRE LTD, THE NURSERIES, FORDFIELD ROAD, MILLBROOK, MK45 2HZ

01525 840 270

New Beginnings Hello my name is Oscar and I have recently come to live in your neck of the woods due to my old humans passing me on to a couple out here in the country. I was having my lunch one afternoon in my new kitchen when I glanced at the printed material under my bowl. It was a copy of this ‘Fuddler’ thing, quite interesting in places but in general lots of adverts for stuff and people offering to fix the stuff after other people had bought the stuff. There were occasional pieces of fine journalism though and I thought I too could write my memoirs or a journal perhaps, something for other cats to read while eating or using the litter tray (The main function of this pamphlet seems to be to line litter trays and to protect kitchen flooring from cat food spills). My journal will also be a good way of keeping my old humans informed of my new life here and how I am getting on, I will remind my new humans to send them a copy in

Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

their new home. I now live in old house with a lovely garden or two for my use and a nice French lady next door who likes to invite me in for drinks or supper a few times a week. I have my own door to my new house so I can come and go as I please. I used to have to try and rouse the larger hairier human from his sleep, without much success I may add, if I wanted to go outside. There are a few feline chums in the area and sometimes they visit me in my two gardens, a black one and two tabby’s. I think one of the tabbies’s maybe a female, she is trying to be elusive and show no interest in me at all but I have spotted her sneaking a peek at me whilst I wash myself and when she thinks I’m not looking, she may have some potential. I do miss my old humans though – I enjoyed living with them, and they had lovely hot pipes under the carpets – Happy days! – I let them look after me for many years after I left the big city I used to live in, but that’s another story.


Page 25

THE FIRS GUEST HOUSE & CAFE 85, High Street, Ridgmont, Beds

Tel: 01525 280279

GREAT VALUE AT THE FIRS! Bed & Breakfast from only £25.00 pppn

CONTRACTORS WELCOME Why not call in for one of our

FAMOUS ALL DAY BREAKFASTS?

Plus … Teas, coffees, sandwiches, rolls and a large selection of home cooked meals at £5.00 or less! Eat in or take away

not a sniff of a fairy tale . . . . . in Arthur’s World Ampthill’s wacky Frog Racing night had all the ingredients of a Fairy Tale or two There were more frogs than you’re likely to find on any king sized lily pad. There was more than a fair gathering of the town’s damsels, rigged out in their finery. Some were just hoping for the chance to kiss a frog who would then turn into a prince and whisk them away to a life of untold riches. It had all the makings for a good read of a “grandkids story at bedtime”. But sadly it was not to be. The damsels seemed up for it.

The frogs would have no option but to be up for it. However there didn’t appear much chance of any dashing Prince Charming emerging from among the lads of Ampthill if the frogs couldn’t come up with the goods I certainly didn’t see a Dandini “look alike” anywhere in the long lines of punters waiting to put their 20p bets on their favoured cardboard fillies. So I gave up on that idea after a couple of races to concentrate on the real action. It wasn’t Royal Ascot or Epsom on Derby Day. But our favourite Parkside Hall – the home of the Frog Racing Classics – certainly had that magic big race aura about it ! There were plenty of rich pickings taken from the

BOB AMBLER HOME DESIGNS Carpentry Kitchens - Bedrooms Home Offices - Bathrooms Replacement Kitchen Doors Worktops and Built in Appliances A complete design, supply and installation service

01525 405393 ans. phone Mobile: 07889 058345 betting tables. As usual I left more at the table than I took away from it – but that’s life. The big issue was that 1,700 quid was raised on the night for Festival funds and that was the real winner – it was quite a night. My roving reporters ear wigged in on some intriguing conversations. I heard of Nick the Slipper trying to negotiate a deal with our Ampthill Fireplace man. Now that Nick’s newly qualified as a fully fledged granddad he fancied himself in a new pair of proper slippers in keeping with is new role in life. Trouble is he also fancied a new fireplace to warm them by – hence the serious negotiations I heard about third hand. Our video whizz kid Howard – he of the Cecil B.

De Mills academy - shot some wonderful footage of proceedings. It’s all on video and on the web site. You will particularly like his camera angles looking down the race track at the *pullers*. If you don’t fancy seeing yourself in a compromising pose – keep your eyes closed while watching ! At the end of the night someone received the overall champion’s trophy and I believe a few bob en route. It was all lost in the euphoria of a brilliant evening and the Grande Finale of a money spinning auction. I suppose there was a real fairy tale ending after all . . . a lot of money raised with more than just a few laughs along the way in raising it ! ! Well done to everyone. See you next year - I hope.

T.H.E. BEST Full range of beauty treatments. Now including Bio-Sculpture Gel Nails by ‘Emma’ Ample free parking Tel: 01525 292657 (Woburn)

BUTCHERS

* FRESH FISH NOW AVAILABLE FRIDAY & SATURDAY

Telephone (01908) 375275 www.bestbutcher.co.uk

Unit 5, Lower Rectory Farm, Great Brickhill, Milton Keynes, Bucks MK17 9AF

When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re on line too at www.thefuddler.com!


Page 26

We are delighted to bring you another interesting recipe that one of our readers has very kindly agreed to share with us:

CHICKEN, CIDER & SWEETCORN SURPRISE You’ll enjoy this! - Well, preparing it anyway! For 4 people you will need: 4 Supremes of chicken from your local butcher. 100 gm mushrooms 75 gm butter 50 gm flour seasoned with salt & pepper Approx 1/2 litre of cider (plus of course a little extra for you to slurp!) 1 large can sweet corn 125 ml cream Potatoes to make mash Firstly pop the oven on to heat to about 230 c and whilst the oven is heating up chop up the mushrooms and cut the chicken into chunks.

TRADITIONAL FREEHOUSE PUB AND RESTAURANT WITH LARGE PATION GARDEN Louise and James welcome you to their real country pub in a fabulous village location only a couple of minutes or so from Woburn Safari Park. Traditional home cooked food, real ales and wines by the glass The Green Man Church End Eversholt MK17 9DU Telephone – 01525 288111 Website www.greenmaneversholt.com

Fry the mushrooms in 25 gm of butter, remove from pan and having rolled the chicken in the seasoned flour, fry in the remaining butter until golden. Place chicken and mushrooms into an oven proof casserole dish. Heat the cider in the frying pan stirring with wooden spoon then add cream, salt and pepper and cook for about 2 minutes without boiling. (Time for a crafty slurp!) Pour the sauce over the chicken and mushrooms, cover and cook for about 30 minutes. Whilst this is cooking prepare your mash and when the casserole is ready, serve with the mash surrounded by hot sweet corn. Top Tip: Add chopped ham too for a truly scrumptious delight!

• TYRES, BATTERIES AND EXHAUSTS AT DISCOUNT PRICES • ELECTRONIC WHEEL BALANCING • WHEEL ALIGNMENT

UNIT C STATION ROAD, FLITWICK, BEDS

24HR FREEFONE 0800 026 6009

Tel: (01525) 713333 & 713437 (24 hrs) Night Tel: (01525) 713333 ASK ABOUT OUR MOBILE FITTING SERVICE

Monday to Friday, 8.00 am - 6.00 pm Saturday, 8.00 - 5.00 pm Established 1971

PARACHUTE JUMP COMPLETED!! Greg, Joe and friends would like to extend a huge thank you to everyone who kindly sponsored them and are pleased to say that they raised over £6,000 for charity!

Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com


Page 27

Habanero, Jalapeno, Scotch Bonnet, Dorset Naga, Thai Dragon, Super Chilli available now!

Come and see us in Ampthill Park at The Ampthill Festival Gala Day

Ampthill & District Lions’ Diabetic Officer and Registered Nurse are offering FREE diabetic screening at Ampthill Festival Gala Day on Sunday 27th June at Ampthill Park. Their invitation is ‘So get cool & be checked’.

FARMERS MARKETS The Farmers Market in Woburn is held on the third Sunday of every month at The Pitchings, whilst Ampthill Farmers Market is held on the last Saturday of each month at their new home at the rear of The White Hart Hotel.

Don’t forget The Charter Market in Ampthill every Thursday and Flitwick Market on Fridays!.

Dunstable Street Ampthill

Tel: 01525 403319 email: engineandtender@live.co.uk

Open Monday - Thursday 11 am - 2 pm & 5 pm - 11 pm OPEN ALL DAY FRIDAY, SATURDAY & SUNDAY!

CHOICE OF REAL ALES IPA and OLD SPECKLED HEN plus a regular guest ale

Ɣ WE’VE GOT A NEW GAGGIA COFFEE MACHINE!! This machine produces magnificent coffees! Luscious, sweet and creamy cappuccinos and lattes – why not come in and try one?

Ɣ PROMS IN THE PARK HAMPERS, SATURDAY 26 JUNE 2010 The Proms committee asked us if we would supply hampers for you to enjoy at the Proms evening and we were delighted to accept! Pre-set hampers are available or you can create your own! Pop into the shop for more info.

Ɣ CHEESEBOARDS AND PICNICS If you’re having a dinner party or going on a picnic, we’d be delighted to create a cheeseboard for you! Just give us a ring or drop in to the shop to place your order.

Open 7 days a week Mon - Sat 9.00 - 17.30 + Sun 11.00 -17.00!

4b Bedford Street, Ampthill

Tel: 01525 402023

ALL WORLD CUP GAMES SHOWN Charity BBQ with England Games to support ‘Help For Heroes’ Great value ‘Pub Grub’ new menu served Monday to Friday 12.00 - 2.00

When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re on line too at www.thefuddler.com!


Page 28

Ampthill & District Good Neighbours is a Voluntary Group that provides a link between those residents in Ampthill, Maulden & Millbrook needing help and those who are willing to offer it. The Group acts as a safety net for all residents, young and old. Using local volunteers Ampthill & District Good Neighbours builds on existing help already provided in the area and also fills gaps in that provision. The scheme has now been in operation for four years and has helped many people in that time. Our Volunteers can help those in need that require shopping, transport to the doctors or hospital, the collection of prescriptions, help in carrying out small jobs (e.g. changing light bulbs), dog walking or other pet care (e.g. during holidays/ illness), befriending or gardening. If you need help in Ampthill, Maulden & Millbrook please contact us on 07833 314 903. Please give us as much notice as possible! If you would like to volunteer with the scheme, please contact Mark Smith on 01525 402560 (Home) or 01234 354366 (Work) or via mark.a.smith@ampthill.org.uk. We are particularly keen to recruit more volunteers that are willing to drive those in need to doctors and hospital appointments. In addition we could do with more volunteers that are willing to hold the schemes mobile phone and accept requests for help and then arrange a suitable volunteer to carry out that request. If you do decide to volunteer we can guarantee it will be a very rewarding experience. Mark Smith, Chairman, Ampthill & District Good Neighbours

Norman Mole DESIGN AND BUILDING CONSULTANT HOME EXTENSION AND NEW BUILD Plans Drawn Planning Permission Building Regulations Structural Calculations Thermal Calculations Obtained

Mob: 07831 224064 Tel: 01525 862121 email: norman.mole@btconnect.com

Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com


Page 29

With Kerf Headcap Kerf’s been out and about again finding more silly words and their new dictionary definitions: Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other. Classic: A book which people praise, but do not read. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together. Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece. Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present. Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on. Dictionary: A place where divorce comes before marriage. Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip. Divorce: Future tense of marriage. Etc: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Dippy Doris returns for one month only - will she make it? Will she get on the right flight? We are talking about the person who went to Spain and lost the hotel - it was only 20 storeys high!

Welcome to England Paul hope you both have a great holiday. Lots of love from all the family and friends. xxx

BOOK YOUR SEAT FOR THE BEST SHOW IN TOWN!! Yes, the famous Ampthill Festival Gala Day Parade passes our doors on Sunday 27th June - so arrive early to make sure of your place, grab a drink and make yourself comfortable to watch this annual spectacular!

YUMMY ROAST DINNERS SERVED EVERY SUNDAY 12.00 - 3.00

The Number 1 Ironing and Laundry Service Professional, high quality and friendly service Free delivery and collection

Planning an event? If you're hiring a hall for a special function and need a professional full bar service brought in, then look no further. We supply a fully manned and equipped bar service for any special occasion.

Drop-in and collect service available

We do it all so you and your guests can simply relax and have a good time.

Optional same day service

Plus: Super ‘Sundowner’ side patio

( Open from 8 am daily )

For further information contact

LOUISE on

01525 841114 Or see our website at www.pressed4time.info

Traditional games from Pool to Crib, Dominoes & Darts Quiz Night every Wednesday

31, Russell Drive, Ampthill MK45 2TX When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re on line too at www.thefuddler.com!


Page 30

Ampthill TV images of Ampthill & Ampthill life

A collection of videos and photographs of events in this area over recent years Including Ampthill Festival parades Showcase of local talent A new bell for Millbrook Proms in the park Christmas Lights Wartime Dance Ferret Racing Frog Racing Aragon Day May Day Join the Showcase of local talent Add your own photographs & videos to enhance the collection

www.ampthill.tv

With Geoffrey THE Golfer

A golfer who really was pretty terrible at the game decided to hire a caddie for his afternoon's heinous attempts at the game. The round proved somewhat tortuous for the caddie to watch and he was getting a bit exasperated by the poor

Happy Birthday Lottie for the 24th June

play of his employer. At one point the golfer’s ball lay about 170 yards from the green and as the golfer sized up the situation, he turned to the caddie and asked: ‘Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?’ To which the caddie replied, ‘Eventually’ GTG

Happy Birthday Megan for the 6th June

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in what oredr the ltteers in a word are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is that frist and lsat ltteer is at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can still raed it wouthit porbelm. This is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by itslef but the wrod as a wlohe.

Happy Birthday Hastings for 20th June - Poirot

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Page 31

Ampthill Festival is celebrating its 30th Anniversary this year, with the theme ‘Lets Party’ and is now expanded over three days, with Gala Day on Sunday 27th June, preceded by Ampthill Park Proms on the Saturday 26th and AmpRocks Concert on the 25th. With the expansion of the Festival we need your help, as we are looking for the following volunteers: Setting up the Festival (morning); the siting of Stalls; car parking attendants; Stewarding; Litter Picking ; taking down the Festival (early evening); marshalling the Parade/Charity Bucket Collection; assisting with setting up Festival Queen's Float.

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So if you have a few hours to spare and want to help out and be part of the continuing success story of Ampthill Festival in its 30th year, contact Mark Smith at mark.a.smith@ampthill. org.uk or by phoning 01525 402560 (home) or 01234 354366 (work). Visit www.ampthillfestival.co.uk for the latest news on this year’s Festival.

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One Dog Night!

Continued from last month

Melbourne Victoria, 1976 Before I could get vertical, I could see the enormous black shadowy shape over her as she fell to her knees, A shot from my rifle was out of the question, I would almost certainly hit Jean, besides I never went to sleep with a loaded gun and it would take ages to find the bullets! By now my eyes were focussing and could make out the wild assailant. A large black and very frie nd l y Labrador, we believe it had been waiting outside

for ages, hoping someone would come out to play, the mistake it made was to jump up at Jean from behind! We settled down soon after and in the morning black dog was sitting patiently waiting for breakfast. After we struck camp in the morning, we set off for Hallet, but before we got more than a few miles our way was blocked by a fallen tree, already there was a skinny 70 year old wielding a massive axe like a professional, I got my own axe and joined him but Jean told mine to stop, â&#x20AC;&#x153;You just look

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sillyâ&#x20AC;? Soon other folk arrived with chain saws and a JCB and within a few hours we were on our way, it would seem that the locality had a larger population than it first appeared. We tried to save some tiny â&#x20AC;&#x153;flying miceâ&#x20AC;? that came down in the tree, but failed. They were pretty creatures but the fall had damaged them too much, they all died during the following night. Prof Reginald V Q da Ghama IPA With kind permission of Jim Barr

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Page 33

With Lauren Louella Boughalls

Once again thank you to everyone who entered my little competition and congratulations to all who correctly identified the ‘roof and chimney’ picture from last month as the building at the bottom of Woburn Street, Ampthill adjacent to the town clock. For this month’s poser I have been out and about around the villages with Algi again and I spotted this interesting arrangement: but where is it?

Teri Baker, formally owner of award winning Youngs Fish n Chips in Barton Le Clay is happy to announce she is once again offering top quality fish n chips, together with other “chip shop type” foods. The cornerstone which built our excellent reputation for customer satisfaction remains firmly in place:

Very best ingredients Highly trained staff Highest hygiene standards Youngs mobile van will be at:

Burgoine Business Centre 117 Clophill Road Maulden Come and check us out: Open 4.30 pm to 8 pm Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. Also - Youngs mobile van will be at:

The Royal Oak Car Park Church Street Lidlington Come and check us out: Open 4.30 pm to 8 pm Tuesday

Plenty of free parking Answers by email to martin@thefuddler.com or on a postcard to The Fuddler, PO Box 756 Ampthill Bedford MK45 2WZ

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Page 34

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As a change, and for your entertainment and amusement Montgolfier has sent us a wonderful little story this month: Did I ever tell you about the Ridgmont lorry driver? Well, he went up to the Midlands to do a delivery and on the way back he stopped to talk to a man who had dug a huge hole in his garden. He asked what it was for and the man said a swimming pool. He said to him ‘I’ve always wanted a swimming pool, will you sell it to me and dig yourself another one?’ Well, he bought this big hole and they lifted it onto the flat bed lorry with a lot of difficulty. Anyway, he was driving back to Ridgmont and got as far a Lidlington Hill and the lorry was struggling with the weight of this huge hole on the back. Eventually the lorry stalled and then rolled back and very sadly the lorry and driver were never seen again.

Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

Thanks again!


Page 35

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Episode 21 “It’s the Pits”

One year father decided that for that year’s holiday we would visit our relations in Northumberland. We were going to drive! I thought that the journey we made every summer to the east coast was a long way; on those trips we used to stop for our lunch the other side of Bishops Stortford before getting to Braintree on the A112 about halfway from where we lived in Hertfordshire, but this planned journey was a real adventure, about 280 miles. FG, my brother, had just got his driving licence and was employed as father’s relief driver. I remember the two of them having a route planning session and several places along route were signalled out for suitable rest stops. Mother and I made up several hampers of assorted sandwiches, flasks and

bags of sweets - we were ready. As we packed the car, an Austin 1300 Countryman, our cat; Blackie, was sitting in his usual spot on the fence watching bemused as we set off on our epic journey, he always came and said goodbye when we left to go anywhere. This was going to be by far the longest journey our car had gone on one trip, and mother and I had packed enough foodstuffs to feed a small street party. At the time I had no idea of the route; the ‘great north road’, or how long the journey was going to take, but it seemed to take all day, although we did stop several times. One of these stops was to check the car was ok, oil, water etc and FG foolishly, I remember being quite pleased at the time, unscrewed the radiator cap whilst the engine was still warm, steam everywhere, it was impossible to determine where the steam had come from but it was either from

out of the radiator or my father’s ears. FG was sent off to get more water and the engine and my father had time to cool off. We got to our destination without further incident, our relations were spread about in several of the then prosperous mining towns of Northumberland; Ashington, Ellington and Morpeth. When we arrived I was greeted by a very large jolly lady who I later found out was my auntie Mary, ‘wye aye lad, cum ere yer little booga’ and with that I was swept up and was lost in her ample bosom. It turned out that this was the first time she had met me and was not going to let go for the immediate future. My uncle and cousins were ‘doon pit’ and would be home after spending most of their pay packet in the working men’s club later that night - it was a Friday and that meant payday. Auntie Mary spent most of her time in the kitchen and even though we

were in Northumberland, Yorkshire pudding came with everything and seemed to be eaten at any meal time, with sugar and jam for breakfast, with gravy and meat at dinner time and with custard at tea time. Auntie used to make giant ones about five times a day and they were delicious. Regular readers may remember FG and myself walked Hadrians Wall, it was these relatives and thought we were ‘bloomin crazey mun’ O swallow, swallow, flying, flying south, fly to her, and fall upon her gilded eaves, and tell her, tell her, what I tell to thee. O tell her, swallow, thou that knowest each, that bright and fierce and fickle is the South, and dark and true and tender is the North. -Tennyson As always the characters and places in this story are real and any resemblance to reality is purely intentional.

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The Fuddler June 2010