The Fuddler January/February 2016

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Est. 2002

Dog Holiday Care Overnight stays and holiday care in our home - a great alternative to kennels.

Walks in the local countryside Est 1998 Collection available DAWN SMITH

Tel: 01234 764459 Mobile: 07789 585766

www.dogholidays.vpweb.co.uk alfred.smiths@btinternet.com Overnight Stays

NEED AN ELECTRICIAN? NIC-EIC Registered All electrical work Testing and Certification Free Estimates AMPTHILL ELECTRICAL SERVICES

01525 632921 07977173452

Hello to everyone and a very big welcome to the first Fuddler of the year!

As many of you will know we have been delayed by circumstances beyond our control - but now we’re so pleased to be back!

As always, we hope you will enjoy this issue and do

look carefully through at what our advertisers are saying as you never know what you might find in The Fuddler!

Thank you all so much for the many kind messages of support and offers of help and we look forward to seeing you again in March.

Steve Wildman’s High Quality Carpet, Upholstery, Rug and Leather Suite Cleaning Service Tel: BartonͲLeͲClay 01582 882620

Sick PC or laptop?

Call the Doc for Hardware & software Diagnosis & treatment

01525-402227 john.stafford@compu-doc.co.uk

C&R PEST MANAGEMENT x 40 Yrs experience x Fully Insured x Special Rates for OAPS! Wasps, Rats, Mice, Rabbits, Moles, etc Free Estimate 01525 450046 07500 431131

How do you know when an Accountants having a mid life crisis?

He buys a faster calculator!

Accounts, Payroll, Bookkeeping, Tax, Business Advice ... and much more.

Ring to book a free, noͲobligation meeting today!

114 High Street, Cranfield, Beds, MK43 0DG Tel: 01234 752566 Email: info@vowles.co.uk www.vowles.co.uk

Performing live on Valentine’s Day evening

EMMA ROBBINS Book your table now!

Bookings also being taken for Mother’s Day in our restaurant and fabulous new wine bar! www.bangkoklounge.com

When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re online too at www.thefuddler.com!

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Ampthill Glass Centre

Quality Windows Ͳ Doors Ͳ Conservatories Ͳ Glass Merchants Ͳ Glazing Contractors 12 Ampthill Business Park, Station Road, Ampthill, Bedfordshire, MK45 2QW Telephone: 01525 403015 / 403609 Fax: 01525 402521 www.ampthillglasscentre.co.uk

Winter

is

here!

With energy costs rising and temperatures falling why not save on your monthly bills and complement your house with great looking, thermally efficient windows and doors.

New Showroom Coming Soon!

No window or glazing job too small. x

10 Year insurance backed guarantee x Free quotations

Put your trust in a company that has been trading for over 30 years!

For all your window, doors and conservatory needs call us now or visit our website.

Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

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LOCAL BUS SERVICE NEWS From 4th January there are a number of important improvements to route 42, connecting Flitwick, Ampthill and Bedford. This popular service now offers:-

Golinska Foot Care Footcare for all the family

x

Buses up to every 20 minutes in the morning peak into Bedford.

Nails Cutting Corns/Calluses

Fungal Nails Verrucas

x

Half hourly buses back from Bedford in the afternoon peak period.

Cracked Heels

Ingrown Nails

x

Fares from as little as 99p single.

x

CCTV and satellite tracking on all our buses.

Home Visiting Practice

07926 944302 / 01582 512734 www.golinskafootcare.com

01525 719719 www.grantpalmer.com

Fancy doing something new and meeting some amazing people this year?

A local befriending Charity is looking for volunteers to help make a real difference in the community!

Respite at Home Volunteers are currently recruiting befriending volunteers in West Mid Beds and the Ivel Valley area.

This is your chance to make a positive and immediate difference to the lives of people living with life limiting illnesses and their carers in your local community.

If you have a couple of hours to spare each week, enjoy spending time chatting and listening, have a sense of humour and want to meet some genuinely interesting and inspiring people then this an opportunity for you.

As part of our befriending team you’ll receive full training and support as we match you with one of our families who are looking for a little extra companionship and help to live well with illnesses.

As a volunteer you don’t have to have prior experience of a life limiting illness, but you do have to have warmth, reliability, empathy, common sense and a ready smile.

For more information about how to join our team contact Nicola Mills 01234 743063 or email: respiteathomevolunteers@aol.co.uk

Kasia Golinska Foot Health Practitioner MCFHP MAFHP

After missing last year Maulden Players Pantomime returns in January 2016. Peter Pan, this years pantomime, will be a delight for families of all ages – and there will definitely be some fun to be had for all ages including those big kids who never grew up!!

The Darling family children receive a visit from Peter Pan, who takes them to Never Never Land where they must help The Lost Boys battle the evil and dastardly Pirate Captain Hook.

Come and join Maulden Players. Get ready with your cheers and boos.

The Pantomime will be performed on Friday January 29th at 8pm and on Saturday January 30th at 2pm and 7.30pm.

Tickets are ÂŁ9 adults ÂŁ6 children under 16 and concessions.

All profits go to charity.

Box Office numbers are 01525 402706 and 07799 895740.

Aragon Festival Committee are holding a Quiz Night at the Old Sun pub in Ampthill on Thursday February 4th. The event is at 7.30 for 8.00pm and entry is just ÂŁ2.00 per person in teams of up to six people.

Everybody will be made most welcome on the day.

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Absolute Beginner Dance classes in Rock n Roll at 8:15pm or Ballroom & Latin at 9:15pm in Kempston Hammers Sports and Social Club th starts Tuesday 12 January www.adrianmarshschoolofdance.com info@adrianmarshschoolofdance.com

When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re online too at www.thefuddler.com!

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LORD DEE’S PONDERINGS

SUPERVISOR REQUIRED TO WORK IN LOCAL CONVENIENCE STORE

As the memories of Christmas at The Hall fade into the dim and distant past, Duster IV and myself must start preparations for the tidying of the maze (where is Mellors when you need him) in readiness for the Spring visitors.

Part time evenings, 20 hours per week.

Will also be required to cover staff holidays For full details and application form please contact

McColl’s Convenience Store 17 Church Street, Ampthill 01525 404096

Across: 1 Gamble, 4 Bereft, 7 Pantomime, 9 Eden, 10 Else, 11 Crest, 13 Untrue, 14 Eatery, 15 Candid, 17 Dasher, 19 Dines, 20 Done, 22 Grit, 23 Tangerine, 24 Evenly, 25 Sister

Also hearty birthday felicitations to the Lady Miriam for the 18th February Ciao

A BRIANISM

Down: 1 Gateau, 2 Bran, 3 Entire, 4 Bemuse, 5 Rime, 6 Timely, 7 Pertinent, 8 Elsewhere, 11 Cupid, 12 Tapas, 15 Coddle, 16 Dinghy, 17 Debris, 18 Rotter, 21 Earn, 22 Gnus

CHEESEMANS PHARMACY OF AMPTHILL Tel: 01525 402173

I thought about going on the London Eye but I decided that my bar stool was high enough.

Huge range of fragrances for her and for him at up to a MASSIVE 65% OFF! Just right for Valentine’s day!

“The Fuddler” is published by MDA Publications. The views expressed herein are not necessarily those of the publisher. No part of this publication may be copied in any form or by any means without written permission of the Publisher. Copyright MDA Publications.

Like to book an ad, or ask about our absurdly low rates please ring Martin on

Or if you prefer, drop us an email to martin@thefuddler.com

Happy New Year Don’t be caught out, the temperature could drop!

Visit us today to discuss the possibility of have a wood burning stove installed.

1, Bedford Street, Ampthill, Beds Tel: 01525 841199 www.ampthillfireplaces.co.uk Mon - Fri: 10am - 5pm Sat: 10am - 4pm Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

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Sharman Law LLP S O L I C I T O R S o o o o o o

Wills, Probate & Trusts Civil Disputes Divorce & Separation Children Pre-nuptial Agreements Cohabitation Agreements

88 Dunstable Street, Ampthill 01525 750 750

o o o o o o

Elderly Client Services Business Services Employment Moving House Commercial Property Agriculture 1 Harpur Street, Bedford 01234 30 30 30

www.sharmanlaw.co.uk Most years there are a series of articles in the press announcing that the first working day back in the New Year is Divorce Day. It is true that Christmas can sometimes be a stressful and expensive time which can lead to conflict within families. For others the start of a new year heralds the opportunity to make changes in their lives. If they are unhappy in their relationships then this might be a change that they want to make.

At this firm we don’t consider that terminology such as “Divorce Day” is particularly helpful but for those who are experiencing difficulties in their relationship we can offer specialist legal advice. If you need assistance from us then please do not hesitate to contact Philip Elliott at philip.elliott@sharmanlaw.co.uk , Jonathan Copper at jonathan.copper@sharmanlaw.co.uk or Janet Brown at janet.brown@sharmanlaw.co.uk or any of us on 01234 303030. We can offer appointments in either Ampthill or Bedford.

When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re online too at www.thefuddler.com!

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JH

Garage Door Solutions Ltd

ELECTRICAL

Your local garage door expert for:

Replacements, Repairs and Spares

• DOMESTIC • INDUSTRIAL • COMMERCIAL

x All makes & designs available x 24 Hour repair service x No call out charge x All work guaranteed x Free quotations Call us now on: 01525 721615 / 07761 093468

24 HR CALLOUT AVAILABLE

Website: www.garagedoorsolutionsltd.co.uk

All electrical work undertaken

Or see the yellow pages

3, Woodcock Walk, Flitwick, Bedfordshire, MK 45 1RD

email: supaspark@tiscali.co.uk

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Sandra’s been busy again looking through her big book of words (dictionary?) and brings us the word below. (Nothing to do with the crossword.) Just look at the hexagon and see whether or not the word jumps out at you!

(Answer at the bottom of the page if it doesn’t!)

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Here’s another of Marjorie’s fine crosswords for our entertainment Across: Down: 1 Boisterous laugh (6) 1 The boss inf. (6) 4 Drivel (6) 2 Flutter (4) 7 Very funny (9) 3 Apparition (6) 9 Accomplishment (4) 4 Allured (6) 10 Light fawn (4) 5 Melancholy (4) 11 Absolute (5) 6 Tolerate (6) 13 Jaunty (6) 7 Longing (9) 14 Reserved (6) 8 Rascal (9) 15 District of New York (6) 11 Attendant (5) 17 Interfere (6) 12 Mention (5) 19 Object detection device (5) 15 Ship’s cable (6) 20 Meander (4) 16 Ripen (6) 22 The others (4) 17 Infuriate (6) 23 Bushy weed (9) 18 Total (6) 24 Mob (6) 21 Lacklustre (4) 25 Lump (6) 22 Peruse (4)

A R

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W

*Maintenance *Drainage *Driveways *Landscaping *Fencing

*Patios

Contact: Andi Brackenridge T: 07789 681252 Email: enquiries@abbuildingandgroundworks.co.uk Lawnmower

Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

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OSSORY ARMS 9 Arthur Street, Ampthill 07791 908699 www.ossoryarms.co.uk

FOOD SERVED MON - FRI 12.00 - 2.30 SAT/SUN from 10.30

Still serving the famous big and little Ozz breakfast Roast dinners served Sunday 12.00 till 3.00

New food menu being launched beginning of January Speciality teas and coffees available Prosecco on offer throughout Jan/Feb £15.00 per bottle Plus free olives

New in .....

Pilsner Urquell The world’s first golden lager brewed since 1842

Thursday 11th February Rock & roll bingo quiz £2 per card per person Starts at 8pm Charity event, raising money for Macmillan Saturday 13th February Valentine's disco 8 till late Sunday 14th February

‘The Numbers’ Unplugged Playing from 5 till 7...

Charity event raising money for Keech cottage BT SPORTS All BT sports games shown here

When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re online too at www.thefuddler.com!

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NEWPAPER DELIVERERS REQUIRED IN THE AMPTHILL/MAULDEN AREA

Need to be 13 years old or above.

For more information please contact

McColl’s Convenience Store 17 Church Street, Ampthill 01525 404096 With The Duchess of Troll

Reflections in the Dewpond .......

THE PHOTO ALBUM Over a homemade "knife and fork" turkey soup with herb dumplings and warmed crusty bread, lovingly made by Mrs Sam, the "Five Old Boys" - Sam Ilex, Charlie, Dapper Charlie, Ten Acre and Rabbit Bob sat warm and cosy in Sam's washhouse shed. Over the last of the mince pies, eaten with steaming hot cups of tea, brewed on the wood burning Stove Sam produced a large red photo album.

Roars of laughter swept across the dormant garden as the album brought back happy memories, Sam Ilex pointed to

the one showing the two Old English Sheepdogs, Barney and Lisa sitting bolt upright in the deep snow posing in their bright red legwarmers decorated with white snowmen, taken in Henry VIII Great Hunting Park in that winter - you know-1947 said Charlie, always eager to help, no not then, 1962/63, no not then either, suddenly Sam remembered the late 1980's!

The dogs were much admired and fussed over which they took in their stride. Loved their photo took!

What a day!

Where everyone came from was a mystery but come they did, as the Park overflowed with hundreds of excited children and people, sledging, throwing snowballs, dogs chasing around, burying themselves in the white

FARMERS MARKETS The Farmers Market in Woburn is held on the third Sunday of every month from 10.00 - 2.00 at The Pitchings, whilst Ampthill Farmers Market is held on the last Sunday of each month from 11.00 - 2.00 at the rear of Natwest Bank in Ampthill.

Don’t forget The Charter Market in Ampthill every Thursday and Flitwick Market on Fridays! snow-- looking for rabbits, remarked Rabbit Bob. Children seeing snow for the first time, making a first snowman.

Adults brushing snow off the wooden park benches, to sit, watch as everyone enjoyed themselves, talking together, sharing hot drinks from flasks.

Measuring of snow up the side of boots. Mrs Sam took the next series of pictures of a long line of children, holding on tightly to each other sat on large plastic sacks speeding down the hill when the chain split into two.

Oh dear only one shot taken what a shame!

Suddenly there were the children all posed again, shouting at Mrs Sam to retake the pictures. Great kids!

Mind you if you sledge down you have to walk back up

pulling the sledge back up Heartbreak Hill! Didn't seem to matter, might not get snow for years, for ages, you can never tell.

Just remembered my dear friend Mick who spent ages putting a sledge together, insisted he did the test run, fell off, broke his nose.

Not much safety equipment about then.

Sam recalled however a man in full ski outfit with proper skis flying down the hill, he looked out of place, not now, the Old Boys retorted.

Darkness came, everyone returning home for a good night's sleep ready for another action packed day tomorrow up Henry VIII Great Hunting Park.

Keep the snow coming.

D.O.T.

Maulden Garage Ltd FOR ALL YOUR VEHICLE NEEDS Modern Classic or Vintage Repairs, Servicing, Breakdowns, Fabrication, Tyres, Exhausts Classic Rally Car Preparation and on event service support Unit 10 Woodside Clophill Road Maulden Beds MK45 2AE www.mauldengarage.co.uk mauldengarage@btconnect.com

01525 862877 Free local delivery and collection service

Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

Page 9

YOUR LOCAL Memory Foam Mattresses Direct from the manufacturer at trade prices!

No.1 For Scooters, Stairlifts & Mobility Can’t get to us? Call now to organise a free no pressure home demonstration with one of our friendly sales advisors.

Curved & Straight stairlifts available.

AtȱComfortȱMattressȱweȱmanufactureȱ andȱdistributeȱhighȱqualityȱȱ MemoryȱFoamȱmattressesȱlocallyȱ fromȱShefford.ȱ Weȱsellȱdirectȱtoȱtheȱpublicȱandȱtradeȱ cuttingȱoutȱtheȱmiddleȱmen,ȱallowingȱ usȱtoȱsellȱaȱrangeȱofȱfoamȱproductsȱatȱȱ FANTASTICȱlowȱprices!!ȱ Takeȱadvantageȱofȱmassiveȱ discountedȱpricesȱonlyȱavailableȱȱ fromȱourȱFactoryȱOutletȱatȱȱ Unitȱ5B,ȱStȱFrancisȱWay,ȱȱȱ Shefford,ȱBedsȱSG17ȱ5DZȱ 30% Discount off web site prices with this voucher.

Not to used with any other offer

New and used Scooters, part ex welcome.

Wheelchairs, Ramps, Walking Sticks, Grab Rails, Tri-Walkers, Rollators, Bathlifts, Waterproof Clothing & much more.

For more information call us or visit our website at www.comforthomecare.co.uk

WWW.COMFORT MATTRESS.CO.UK When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re online too at www.thefuddler.com!

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DO YOU RUN YOUR BUSINESS FROM HOME ?

ALL BRICKWORK AND REPAIRS PLUS REPOINTING

Why not place an economical ad like this in The Fuddler and let everyone know what you do?

No job too small Please ring Joe

Just ring Martin on 01525 841434 for more details

01525 404334

With Jimmy The Voice With just one roll of the dice JTV has come up with another picture for us! But are the dice standing up or are they laying flat in the picture below?

JTV just cannot decide! But what do you think?

Happy Birthday to ‘Wheeze’ for 29th

By Julio Van Peebles Julio’s New Year Worries and Useless Facts: 1) Has anyone ever named their dog 'Down'?

2) Did you know cows have regional accents?

3) Who can remember Funny Feet ice creams?

4) Did you know that in the 1940's the BBC were not allowed to say "Gorblimey"?

5) On school sports days in China do they have the Egg and Chopstick race?

6) Did you know that one Hippopotamus would make 17,636 burgers?

CONGRATULATIONS TO THE WINGFIELD CLUB Many thanks to the organisers of the Children’s party at the Wingfield Club on the 20th December which was such a success and enjoyed by all.

Mary and Tony Cullip

Happy Anniversary Tony, love you lots, Mary xx 14th January

Belated Happy Birthday to the ‘Olympic Flame’ xx

A very Happy Birthday to Miriam for the 18th!

THE JOLLY COOPERS

Traditional Country Village Pub and Restaurant Well the weather has certainly got chillier! Good job we have plenty of logs and the fire is burning bright!

Come and relax in the warm and cosy surroundings of the bar. We can serve you some flavoursome winter ales or a glass of wine and maybe even tempt you to a bite to eat we have some warming winter favourites on offer.

If you are thinking of something a bit special then Valentine’s Day is just round the corner and you could treat your ‘someone special’ to a romantic dinner for two.

What ever the reason Bobbi and Ian will always be pleased to see you and look forward to welcoming you soon!

You can always check what is going on at jollycoopersflitton.co.uk THE JOLLY COOPERS, WARDHEDGES, FLITTON, BEDS TEL: 01525 860626 Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

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chauffeur service

Based in Cranfield Village and covering the Bedfordshire and Milton Keynes area, we offer a professional and friendly service in Airport Transfers and long distance travel.

All Airports & Sea Ports, London City.

Theatre, Shopping trips & business trips.

Travel in style and comfort.

call: 0782 5580092 email: info@premier-exec.co.uk or visit: www.premier-exec.co.uk

Babs got lost in her car in a snow storm.

She remembered what her dad had once told her. ‘If you ever get stuck in a snow storm, wait for a snow plough and follow it.’

Pretty soon a snow plough came past, so she started to follow it. She followed the plough for about forty five minutes. Finally the driver of got out and asked her what she was doing. She explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in the snow, to follow a plough.

The driver nodded and said, ‘Well, I’ve finished the supermarket car park, now you can follow me over to the DIY store.’

VACANCIES FOR BUS DRIVERS Experience is not essential for exceptional candidates Grant Palmer has won a contract with University of Bedfordshire to provide student bus services. We’re expanding our bus network too, & are recruiting to meet demand.

If you’re an experienced bus driver (Full PCV, cat D), ideally with a current CPC card, get in touch right away.

But if you have a clean car licence, a good, accident free, driving record, and are great with people, get in touch too.

We have limited vacancies on our contributory training scheme; in six weeks you could be driving our buses working close to home in this fabulous community.

01525 719719 www.grantpalmer.com

I can’t believe its been a whole year since I didn’t become a better person.

If you think you can see the light at the end of the tunnel be careful. It might be another train.

Old Chinese proverb: Man drives like hell, bound to get there.

Temptation will lean on the door bell, but opportunity knocks only once.

Try computer dating - you might meet someone nice if the computer doesn’t turn up.

It only seems as if you are doing something when you are worrying.

Is a boomerang a Frisbee for people with no friends?

My friend’s husband is so silly that she says that the only difference between him and a computer is she only has to punch information into a computer once.

If you get an email telling you that you can catch swine flu from tins of ham then delete it. It's spam.

Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.

Remember a sense of humour does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means you laugh at his.

1. By what name is Ernest Evans better known?

2. What is a ‘Scotch Blackface’?

3. I f y o u s u f f e r e d f r o m ‘Anthrophobia’, what do you fear?

4. In the USA there is a town called ‘Telephone’, in which state is it?

5. What is a Haboob?

6. Charles Van Depoele invented what?

7. W h e r e w o ul d y o u f i n d ‘Montague Tigg’?

8. ‘Float’ is the collective term for which creature?

9. In which game would you find the term ‘Control’?

10.Where would you find a ‘Gorget’?

1 Chubby Checker, 2 Breed of sheep, 3 Flowers, 4 Texas, 5 A wind, 6 Electric railway, 7 Martin Chuzzlewit, 8 Crocodile, 9 Bridge, 10 Suit of armour.

PREMIER- EXEC

dgs accountants SELF EMPLOYED TAX AND ACCOUNTS

XPRESS

£3.95 LUNCH

SUFFERING WITH ACCOUNTS BLUES? STUPIFIED WITH TAX RETURNS? STRUGGLING WITH TAX REMINDERS?

Tuesday - Friday

91, Dunstable Street Ampthill Tel: (01525) 404666 Free parking at rear next to garden

www.donatellospizzeria.co.uk

Call 07790 672699 Email derek_story@yahoo.co.uk For your free consultation

When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re online too at www.thefuddler.com!

Page 12

Once again many thanks for your splendid photographs of The Fuddler on its travels!

On the left this month are Sam and Joe with their Fuddler at the end of their John O Groats to Lands End bike ride and below are Trevor, Shirley and friends with their copy at the jazz festival in Perguia, Italy.

Excellent! Many thanks again.

Complete Tyre Support

If you have any pictures of a Fuddler being read away from home please send them in to martin@thefuddler.com

Call us now!

0844 8000 333 www.threecountiestyres.com

RIDGMONT STATION Tea Rooms A delightful hidden gem!

CAFÉ MENU x A selection of teas, coffees

and soft drinks x Home made cake and scones x Cream teas are our speciality! x Please note we are closed on Mondays x SMALL

FRESHLY MADE FOOD ...

SUNDAY FEBRUARY 14th

x Hot soups and jacket potatoes x A selection of fresh

Special Valentine’s Cream Tea Extravaganza! £15.95 per person

sandwiches x Toasted paninis x Plus lots more! x Great value and a friendly

service!

To book or for more details please pop in or ring us

BIRTHDAY PARTIES We can also cater for up to 16 people for a special Birthday Party!

RIDGMONT STATION | STATION ROAD | RIDGMONT BEDFORDSHIRE | MK43 OXP T: 01525 287 120 M: 07861 732 850 E:ridgmonttearoom@gmail.com Full disabled access, toilets and free car park

HOW TO FIND US: By rail alight at Ridgmont Station By road follow station signs from A507

Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

Page 13

Now that 2016 is here, We would like to wish all our customers a very Happy New Year.

Apart from us all being a bit older, I’m sure this year seems a lot colder.

So to help you all out, I’ll need to shout, We have THERMAL GLOVES and HATS to help keep the cold out.

So as it gets colder and soon may be snow, I’d like to remind you we deliver newspapers you know.

In AMPTHILL, MAULDEN we don’t mind There’s no house that we can’t find.

So if you would like a newspaper delivered from today Give us a call and we will send one on its way.

One, two, three or more We don’t mind they will be delivered through your door, We can also deliver magazines too, From our large great range, pop in and select a few.

Our store details can be found below, But I need to say something before I go.

To Mr Martin the Fuddler man, Please get well as quick as you can, We are all here if you need us, And we’re going to help you so don’t make a fuss.

GET WELL SOON MCCOLL’S YOUR LOCAL CONVENIENCE STORE 17 CHURCH STREET AMPTHILL TEL: 01525 404096 OPEN: MON-SAT 6AM TO 8PM SUNDAY 7AM TO 8PM

EAT LIKE AN ITALIAN! Homemade food served in a friendly and relaxed atmosphere

BUY ONE GET ONE FREE! (On main courses when 2 people dine)

ALL JANUARY 2016 Receive sms

message co your booking nfirming the evening befor e you travel.

Getting you there relaxed and stress free!

Your premier airport transfer, taxi company in the Bucks area Our rates are extremely competitive whilst providing a higher, more reliable level of sevice.

Place your trust in a well established, reputable company where reliability and professionalism are 1st and foremost.

T&C’s apply - excludes other offers

Seating up to 60 people on two floors with 5 dining rooms.

Birthdays Club Events Company Meals or just a family get together OPENING TIMES: Monday evening 6.00 Ͳ 9.00 Tuesday to Friday lunchtime 12.00 Ͳ 2.00 Tuesday to Thursday evening 6.00 Ͳ 10.00 Friday and Saturday evening 6.00 Ͳ 11.00

Don’t forget you can also book your onward travel in over 70 countries around the world from your Arrival Airport to your Resort, City or Hotel of your choice via our website and benefit from the same great reliability.

91, Dunstable Street Ampthill Tel: (01525) 404666 Free parking available

Book online at www.airportsdirectmk.com T: 01908 22 55 23 or 0800 707 6003 e: info@airportsdirectmk.com

www.donatellospizzeria.co.uk

When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re online too at www.thefuddler.com!

Page 14

Tel: 01525 403319 email: engineandtender@live.co.uk Engine & Tender - Bar

6 NATIONS RUGBY all games shown here!

LIVE MUSIC

In a local band and want to be heard?

Pop in and see us about playing.

QUIZ NIGHTS SUNDAY 31st JANUARY SUNDAY 28th FEBRUARY

COME AND TRY OUR FANTASTIC FOOD MENU Mon - Fri 12.00 - 2.00pm Mon - Thurs 5.00pm - 8.00pm

BT Sport & Sky Sports If it’s on - it’s on here!

Ampthill Town CC will this summer be fielding 4 senior elevens on Saturdays & Sundays.

On Saturday the first & second elevens will compete in the Saracens Hertfordshire League with the third & fourth eleven taking part in the more local Bedfordshire Invitation Saturday Cricket League.

Sunday all four elevens will take part in the Bedfordshire County League.

We also have a Mid-Week XI entering the Cup Competitions as organised by Beds Cricket Ltd & East Beds Charity Shield.

Indoor nets are on Sunday evenings starting on 14th February (for six weeks) between 6pm & 8pm at the new Flitwick Leisure Centre.

We also have the “Get Back Into Nets” at Marston Vale Middle School starting on Tuesday 19th January between 8pm & 10pm for 9 weeks (these are aimed at players looking to return to cricket after a break).

Practice during the season will take place on Wednesday nights on our Park ground.

More details from Jeremy Degnan 07958 524613 jeremy.degnan@ntlworld.com or Joey Evans 07736 517791 joey@seconsulting.co.uk for “Get Back Into nets” contact Graeme Presswell 07946 863262 graeme@howorths-shoesonline.co.uk We shall be running youth teams at Under 10, 12, 14 & 16.

To join this popular section of the club please contact Dave Bradley on 07774 052081 dave.bradley@hotmail.co.uk

Once again this February Ampthill Rotary Club are raising awareness of the campaign to eradicate Polio from the world.

We are lighting up St Andrew’s once more for a week as a way of drawing attention to our campaign to rid the world of Polio.

Every February Rotarians throughout the UK focus on raising funds to totally eradicate Polio worldwide.

Rotary has 1.2 million members around the world. When they first started their Polio Programme in 1985, there were 1000 cases a day across 126 countries. Last year, after huge efforts, there were 98 cases worldwide Now we need to finish the job - otherwise Polio will spread again very quickly.

Last year Nigeria was declared Polio free by the WHO. This leaves only 2 countries where Polio is still endemic.

The students in Ampthill schools are once again supporting our campaign with cake stalls, guess the name of the teddy and a “Wear Something Purple” days. Waitrose are kindly allowing us to have a collection in their store on 19 & 20th February. Look out for our display in Phonus window.

During half term week, there will also be a’ Teddy Trail’ in shops in Ampthill; pupils will be invited to track down the teddies in shop windows. All teddies will be wearing purple scarves as purple has become the colour associated with the campaign. A winner will be picked from all the entries received.

Bill Gates will treble any money we raise.

If you would like to support us in our campaign please go to the site below. http://www.justgiving.com/Ampthill-Rotary-End-Polio

Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

Page 15

When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re online too at www.thefuddler.com!

Page 16

BOB AMBLER HOME DESIGNS

Kitchens – Bedrooms – Home Offices – Bathrooms

Carpentry

36 Dunstable Street, Ampthill Telephone 01525 634857

Replacement Kitchen Doors and Worktops

A complete design, supply and installation service

2500+ Ales from April 2010

Free Designs and Quotations

THE PERMANENT BEER FEST

01525 405393 07889 058345

SOUTH BEDS CAMRA PUB OF THE YEAR 2014

SUNDAY 14th FEBRUARY It’s time for our renowned

Fruit Spirit Tasting Bring along some of your Fruit Spirits and donate them to Charity then let others make a donation to taste them.

Bring at 12.00 noon and start tasting at half past.

You can’t B&T it!

CAMRA BEDS PUB OF THE YEAR 2013 OUR OTHER PUBS ARE: The Globe, Winfield Street, Dunstable (Bedfordshire Pub of the year 2010) - Tel: 01582 512300 The Wellington Arms, Wellington Street, Bedford (North Beds Pub of the year 2010) - Tel: 01234 308033 The Elm Tree, Orchard Street, Cambridge - Tel: 01223 502632 The Brewery Tap, North Bridge Street, Shefford - Tel: 01462 628448 Seven Stars, Albert Square, Rugby, CV21 2SH - Tel: 01788 561402

www.banksandtaylor.com

With Dr. Benjamin J Häagen - ‘Traveller Extraordinaire’ Dear reader, you may be wondering why I do not stay in one place for very long. No, it’s not that I am being hunted down by Interpol or one of the many agencies that hide behind such titles as Homeland security or Corporate Crime Unit! It is purely that after a long medical career, I took to speaking at seminars and conferences whilst enjoying the travel that is an inevitable consequence. I will speak honestly and say it is now the travel that I enjoy the most and re-visiting such wonderful parts of our globe!

Flora and I were recalling our favourite places over dinner in the Bellagio which of course was followed by a visit to the Café Gelato. I have to admit that I would have been seen visiting that den of deliciousness many times in my stay in Las Vegas.

Ashley had decided that once his voice had recovered, rather than return to Oxford, where we had both lived following our college days, would fly down and join us for a few days off the Strip!

It was over a dish of Macadamia Crunch, a caramelised white chocolate and macadamia gelato with macadamia crunch, that I recalled how much Macadamia is loved in Australia. Whereupon discussing the delights of Sydney, Flora hit us both with a bombshell. Her long time partner, Thomas from the very old Baskin-Robbins family with large dairy estates in the south of England, had decided to pop the question. What I had not realised was that this was the main reason for calling me to join her in Granada, but with the trip cut short, due to Ashley’s challenging vocal dexterity, I had left before she could inform me of her news.

Sydney is known for many reasons, some more than others. For me one of the delights is a visit to the Cremeria De Luca!

Cremeria De Luca's gelato is classic, no-nonsense, creamy goodness. The De Luca family has been making gelato since 1937 when Salvatore De Luca was issued his licence on the streets of Messina, Sicily. Salvatore's son, Luigi, opened the first La Cremeria store on Leichhardt's Norton Street in 1995. It shut in 2009, but the De Luca family came back to the gelato fold in 2013 and opened a new shop in Five Dock.

There are no puns in the flavour names here and no Allens lollies in the mix. The gelato is (correctly) stored deep in the counter instead of piled up high like a Marge Simpson wig and tastes all the better for it.

Please dear reader, when you visit, order to eat-in so you can sit next to a vintage Early Kooka electric stove in the cute-as-a-button back room. You can have your zabaglione and gingerbread pannacotta gelati presented in a frosted handkerchief glass or sandwiched between two slices of brioche with Nutella and whipped cream.

I have got to go! How to I persuade these two?

Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

Page 17

Sight Tests

Childrens Contact Eyecare Lenses

C

Call to book your appointment today.

Other optician’s prescriptions welcome.

01525 715759 ideal eyewear Unit 3 Highfield House 110 The Hawthorns Flitwick MK45 1FN Your local independent optician

When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re online too at www.thefuddler.com!

Page 18

FREE PRESCRIPTION DELIVERY

ODD JOBS

Can’t get to the chemist or surgery?

Home Improvements

Don’t worry, we’ll pick up your prescription from your surgery and deliver your medication to your door.

Covering Ampthill, Clophill, Flitwick, Houghton Conquest, Maulden, Silsoe, Wilstead & surrounding villages.

Do you have a wish list of outstanding jobs around the home or garden?

Perhaps you think these are too small for specialist trades or you don’t have the time or proper tools We are a friendly local service based in Ampthill specialising in all your small building and DIY requirements around the home and garden.

Further details can be found on my website of the range of who we are, the services we can offer and local work previously done.

CHEESEMANS PHARMACY OF AMPTHILL Tel: 01525 402173

With Enid Grimshaw Pasta was not eaten in England...only in Italy..we ate macaroni or spaghetti.

Curry was a surname.

A take-away was a mathematical problem.

A pizza was something to do with a leaning tower.

All potato crisps were plain; the only choice we had was whether to put the salt/ vinegar on or not.

Rice was only eaten as a milk pudding.

Calamari was called squid and we used it as fish bait.

A Big Mac was what we wore when it was raining.

Thanks Enid - do send some more!!

Please call Ian to discuss your requirements on 07415 281969 Ͳ Turn DIY into Get It Done www.SandIpropertyservices.co.uk

Television companies will yet again fill their Christmas and New Year schedules with re-runs of old movies. Most will be of no interest to me but I have to admit that I am a sucker for a good adventure yarn so am looking forward to watching Johnny Weissmuller romping through the jungle. There will always be a creeper to swing on and it always amazed me that he only needed two words, ‘Simba’ and ‘Ungawa’, with which to converse with the animals that shared his jungle home, but this could be due to elephants having a somewhat limited vocabulary.

One thing that does puzzle me however is why they felt the need to speed up the film when Tarzan swam to do battle with the rubber crocodile. An Olympic gold medallist and the fastest swimmer in the world and they need to speed the film up?

Some academic will probably tasked to look into this and provide us with an answer and will be provided with a grant to cover the cost of the popcorn as well!

P.S. The ‘lights dimming’ ex-landlord is complaining about the cost of his new bed. He should realise that all the electrical circuitry needed to achieve the orthopaedic settings do not come cheap!

With Basher McGraw "Is this another bling extravaganza from across the pond to get more pantomime looking each year?

I am talking about the over zealous outside Christmas decorations lighting up many houses as one big gigantic Blackpool. Personally, I think all it does is mimic the chaotic and materialistic world which seems to have taken over. What is wrong with subtle decorations on a Christmas tree, which can be placed in the window for all to see? A cheerful and welcoming door wreath in the traditional colours of red and green?

All the twinkle, flash, whiz of bright distracting colours is so OTT. And so Urg!"

Painting and Decorating For all your interior and exterior decorating requirements.

City & Guilds qualified.

Professional, clean, reliable and friendly service.

Fully insured.

For a free competitive quotation please call Paul

01525 404645 or Mobile 07747 755943 www.prcdecorating.co.uk Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

Page 19

r home

Sell you from

*

5 9 9 £

Plus VAT

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No Sal ed Fee;

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We ARE NOT on the high street Does that affect how many properties we sell or let? Absolutely not! 95 % of buyers search for properties online using websites like Rightmove, Zoopla etc. They don’t set foot in an estate agents office.

you pay for selling starts from as little as £995 and if you’re letting your home our managed service is 9%, both plus VAT. Often we save our clients thousands of pounds compared to the prices quoted by High Street estate agents.

Don’t take our word for it Over 85% of our business comes from recommendations because we offer a straight

We ARE NOT an internet based estate agent

forward, professional service and deliver results on a fixed fee basis.

We are an independent, privately owned, nonfranchised estate agent located in Toddington,

So why pay more?

successfully selling and renting properties throughout Central Bedfordshire.

Our friendly professional service includes knowledgeable advice on your home’s market value and how best to sell it, using quality brochures with good photography and floor plans, local newspaper & internet advertising on all the major property sites, accompanied viewings, dedicated sales chasing and local knowledge gained over many years. WE ARE SUCCESSFUL.

What makes us DIFFERENT? Our local team is passionate about delivering positive results, we’re not ‘big national players’ so we work smarter and harder to make YOUR sale happen.

If you are thinking of selling please give Sally Aitken & the team a call on 01525 876600 to arrange a free, no obligation valuation.

Park Studios, Park Road, Toddington, Beds LU5 6AB

www.localagentnetwork.co.uk E: info@localagentnetwork.co.uk

T: 01525 876600

The savings we make by not trading on the High Street are passed onto our customers so the fee

When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re online too at www.thefuddler.com!

Page 20

TREE CARE & FENCING Preachers Place, Houghton Conquest, MK45 3LN

All types of tree work and fencing undertaken and all garden waste removed for a free quote and advice please call 07789 892554 email: tjbrown1@live.co.uk

With Alan Reader

Pathology: the study of crazy paving Peev ish : hav ing th e characteristics of a peev Pendant: my fenced-off mother's sister Pending: waiting for the bell to ring Persona: the legal possessor of a woman's handbag Perspire: cost unit of church towers Perturb: cost unit of a bath, in Northumberland Perverse: cost unit of poems Phoney: having the characteristics of a phone Many thanks again!

With The Imp

1. ‘ Th e y h ad a b ig penthouse with those great big glass windows.’

2. ‘They had shirts with extra sleeves.’

3. ‘I think they were crunching at straws.’

4. ‘What are those fruit and veg crates used for?’

5. ‘You need five eggs for this recipe, add half of them at the beginning.’

6. ‘How do you have your sugar?’

7. ‘I'm not sure if his car was new or brand new.’

8. ‘Kojak is a palindrome.’

DO YOU HAVE A JOB VACANCY?

Why not place an economical ad like this in The Fuddler and let everyone know?

Just ring Martin on 01525 841434 for more details 9. ‘All the 5's, twenty five.’

10.‘If I got a flat tyre I'd phone the RAF.’ 11.‘It’s 100% certain but might not be.’

12.‘There are only 29 days in a leap year.’

13.‘I remember growing up from when I was a little lad.’

14.‘Is there a cash-point here that gives change?’

15.‘Turn left at the next right.’

16.‘It's a normal sized van but bigger.’

Thanks again Imp

Happy Birthday JD for the 13th February

THIS MONTH’S CHESS PUZZLE Once again this month it is white to play and checkmate in two moves.

But how? If you can see please pop in and explain it to us and whilst you are here ask about our new chess challenge!

QUIZ NIGHT EVERY WEDNESDAY Our highly popular quiz is every Wednesday starting at 8.00pm sharp. Come and test your knowledge with our guest Quizmasters everyone welcome.

HAVING A BIT OF A ‘DO’?

Our lounge bar and adjacent function room are perfect for a small ‘soirée’ and are available for your exclusive use! Please give us a ring or call in and have a look and then see Richard to discuss your needs.

Hello everybody! I am an actress starring in a very popular epic currently being shown on your televisions.

Last year I was starring in another show of epic proportions! (And that’s a clue) But do you recognise me?

Answer at the foot of the page.

Saturday 30th January Following our highly successful charity evening last December we are pleased to once again present ...

‘THE NUMBERS UNPLUGGED ’

This time the whole evening is to help raise funds for local charities and you are invited to pre book your seat as numbers are strictly limited. Seats are priced at £5.00 and entry to the pub on the night will be by reservation only.

We hope you will be able join us from 7.30pm for an entertaining evening of music and all for a good cause.

SUNDAY LUNCHTIME NIBBLES You are invited to enjoy your Sunday lunchtime drink with more bar snacks than you could shake a stick at, and all with Richard’s compliments!

Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

Lily James - War and Peace

T. J. BROWN

Page 21

AMPTHILL COMMUNITY CINEMA

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&KLOGUHQ Â… &KLOGUHQ Â… $GXOWV Â…

]RQLWD FR XN When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re online too at www.thefuddler.com!

Page 22

Electrical Contractor Domestic and Industrial Your local Electrical Contractor All types of testing and certification undertaken

FREE QUOTATIONS NICEIC Approved Contractor Working with Ampthill Town Council 11 Cedar Close, Ampthill, Bedford, MK45 2UD

Tel & Fax: 01525 714057 With Geoffrey THE Golfer

A golfer who really was pretty terrible at the game decided to hire a caddie for his afternoon's heinous attempts at the game. The round proved somewhat tortuous for the caddie to watch and he was getting a bit exasperated by the poor play of his employer. At one point the golfer’s ball lay about 170 yards from the green and as the golfer sized up the situation, he turned to the caddie and asked: ‘Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?’ To which the caddie replied, ‘Eventually’ GTG

We are delighted to bring you another interesting recipe :

CHICKEN, CIDER & SWEETCORN SURPRISE You’ll enjoy this! - Well, preparing it anyway!

For 4 people you will need: 4 Supremes of chicken from your local butcher.

100 gm mushrooms 75 gm butter 50 gm flour seasoned with salt & pepper Approx 1/2 litre of cider (plus of course a little extra for you to slurp!)

1 large can sweet corn 125 ml cream Potatoes to make mash Firstly pop the oven on to heat to about 180c and whilst the oven is heating up chop up the

T.H.E. BEST BUTCHERS

* INTERESTING RANGE OF SPECIALITY SAUSAGES

Telephone (01908) 375275 www.bestbutcher.co.uk

Unit 5, Lower Rectory Farm, Great Brickhill, Milton Keynes, Bucks MK17 9AF

mushrooms and cut the chicken into chunks. Fry the mushrooms in 25 gm of butter, remove from pan and having rolled the chicken in the seasoned flour, fry in the remaining butter until golden.

Place chicken and mushrooms into an oven proof casserole dish.

Heat the cider in the frying pan stirring with wooden spoon then add cream, salt and pepper and cook for about 2 minutes without boiling. (Time for a crafty slurp!) Pour the sauce over the chicken and mushrooms, cover and cook for about 30 minutes.

Whilst this is cooking prepare your mash and when the casserole is ready, serve with the mash surrounded by hot sweet corn.

Top Tip: Add chopped ham too for a truly scrumptious delight!

January Birthday Greetings to ...

FG

kles Mr Chuc

Gorgeous Lil

Eddie

Tam

p Minicha

Dara A le x

Bootsie

Pat

Yogi

Mrs Miggins Seba stian

DOT

Oliver

Mr Hardie

For a Free 1st Class MILK DELIVERY SERVICE TELEPHONE 01525 402206 Please see our website at www.mauldendairies.co.uk We are now delivering to Greenfield, Flitton and Pulloxhill too!

Maulden Dairies Warren Farm, Woburn Street, Millbrook

Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

Page 23

Bigens e Scr

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Response

50`s, 60`s and 70`s Sat 8.30

Live

Live

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Late

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“Our Kev” Mus

ic

Sat

30th

8.30

till

Jan Late

Feb: 13th Valentine Disco; 27th The Soul Man Top Quality - Low Prices Beers, Wines & Spirits

Real Ales & Beers from £2.70 - Lagers from £2.95 Vodka/Whisky/Gin Doubles £2.20 New Prosecco £3.60 and Fine Wines £2.80

VW UG 6XQGD\V

Kids

Assortment of games

every

Meat Raffle Sunday

13 prizes

Bumper Raffle 17th January -

(YUHVUG\D\ 7KX

ZZZ WKHZLQJILHOGFOXE FR XN 37 Church St, Ampthill MK45 2PL 01525 403321

Private members club affiliated to CIU Mon - Thurs 12 - 3pm & 7 to 11pm - Fri & Sat (patrons only) 12 to 11:30pm - Sun 12 to 11pm

arking

26 Prizes

POOL

New Top Table Two function rooms and the Lounge bar available for hire - day and evening competitive rates - Weddings, Christenings, Birthdays, Wakes etc (all day opening available weekdays and weekends)

<RX DUH ZHOFRPH WR FRPH DQG WU\ WKH FOXE WKUHH WLPHV ,I \RX OLNH LW ZK\ QRW MRLQ RQO\ SHU \HDU SOXV MRLQLQJ IHH When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re online too at www.thefuddler.com!

Page 24

Guttering Problems?

Gutters Cleaned.

Our heated mobile grooming parlour comes to you for a no stress ONE to ONE experience. All work is carried out freestyle without the aid of any harsh restraining methods.

x I only use the finest natural products and always use

Leaking Gutters repaired.

FRESH WATER as my equipment is the latest on the market.

x x x x x

New Gutters Fitted.

All by a friendly local established company

Turbo Hand Drying ( no cage drying ) Double wash System coat conditioning included Nail clipping included if necessary Areas covered MK16, 40, 41, 42,43, 45, 46

Evening appointments also available Ͳ please ring for details

Call Rob on 01525 552066 or 07977 206403

Call Charlie on 07446 189808

Bradnam Guttering

or email charliegboy58@gmail.com

Where can you find a Bobby when you need one?

Autumn 1983, UK. Jean and I had not been settled long back in UK when we received an invitation to a party; we had the address, somewhere in West Herefordshire, but we did not know the area at all well, and we did not have a post code. We headed off, hoping to be in the area around dusk and sure enough, reached the small town before discovering that we had left the full instructions in Bedfordshire; all we could remember was

“The Old Manse”.

The invite was from an old friend of mine; whom I knew from my London days before I went to Australia, but the party address was not at his home so his details were irrelevant. No problem, we were sure we were within ten miles and there is normally no more than one Manse per Parish.

We soon found a police station and popped in to ask for directions. It started hopefully when the Bobby (SP!) behind the counter got the local address book, he was quite confident of success but was soon calling for help from the office; In less than 15 minutes three officers where scouring

everything before one bright spark decided to phone an off duty officer who was sure to know, he could not help but suggested calling the squad car who new more about locations etc.

After about 35 minutes we gave up, they probably considered asking MI6 or Interpol but reckoned they would not have the local knowledge. We may have been offered a cup of tea, it would have fitted the situation, but we eventually gave up and after apologise for wasting time and best wishes all round, we headed back home, we slept for an hour or two in the back of my FX4 London Cab East of Thame. One thing this

little episode proves is that not all police deserve a reputation of being unhelpful!

I do not often have direct contact with the UK Police but I have had a “frank exchange of views” with police in UK, Germany, Iran, Afghanistan, Sicily, Malta, Italy, Australia and USA, and while it did end happily, the only place I had concerns was Police Headquarters in Kabul, North East Afghanistan.

Most of them must be better than they are portrayed in the press.

Prof Reginald V Q da Ghama IPA With kind permission of Jim Barr

AA WINDOW REPAIRS DOUBLE GLAZING REPAIR SPECIALIST x MISTY DOUBLE

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REPAIRED x AND MUCH MORE

ON OUR WEBSITE

Building Preservation Specialists x

Damp Proofing

x

Woodworm Treatments

x

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x

Basement Waterproofing

TELEPHONE: 01525 718432

Telephone/Fax (01525) 406655 Mobile: 07850 727752

www.aatripleglazing.co.uk

16 Tavistock Avenue, Ampthill, Bedford. MK45 2RY

CALL FOR A FREE QUOTATION OR ADVICE

email: Jim@dunritepreservation.co.uk

Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

Page 25

With Lauren Louella Boughalls Hello to everyone and welcome to the first challenge of the year. Firstly, well done to Steve, Chris and everyone else who correctly spotted that the Lych Gate in the last edition is situated at St James Church, Husborne Crawley.

Now this month one of our readers has very kindly sent us this rather splendid old picture of buildings in Fuddlerland and we thought we ought to share it with you. Many thanks to Lis for sending this in!

But do you recognise the buildings and where they might be?

T Butlin Building and Plastering Est 1987

www.timbutlinbuilders.co.uk

26 years in business For your extensions, renovations, alterations, Upvc fascias / soffitts, guttering, block paving and all plastering including artex ceilings and walls plastered back to flat.

Tel: 01525 405670 / Mob: 07778 680393

Also offering: Impressions Female decorators All aspects of painting and decorating.

With female finesse to make the most of your home If you think you know drop us an email to martin@thefuddler.com Answer next month!

Tel 01234 751282 or 01525 405670 / Mob: 07944 710179

FREE PRE-WINTER BATTERY CHECK! Also please ask for details of The Ampthill MOT Centre complete '12 Point Winter Check' as listed below.

Tyres + Pressures [General condition + tread depth]

Antifreeze [Test of level and strength to ensure it will survive sub-zero temperatures]

Brake Discs + Pads [Condition of pads]

Lights [Front, back, fog, indicators & interior]

Coolant System / Heating [Water flow and condition]

Exhaust system [Security and leaks]

Battery condition [Load test for health of battery]

Oil level

Window wipers [Security and condition]

Power steering level [Test for level and observe for leaks]

Screen wash [Level, strength and freeze test]

Brake fluid [Test for level and water content]

We are a family run business who have been working in the motor trade for over 40 years

Total Fleet Care

Unit 5, Vass Industrial Estate, Station Road, Ampthill, MK45 2RB SERVICING

REPAIRS

Telephone: 01525 405055 Web: www.totalfleetcare.com

When you advertise in The Fuddler - youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re online too at www.thefuddler.com!

Page 26

R.S. TILING

Wall and Floor tiling specialist in Ceramic, Porcelain and all Natural Stone. x x x x

Under tile heating supplied and fitted.

Domestic and commercial.

All works guaranteed.

20 year’s experience For a free quote call Ron Shilton Home: 01525 793679 Mobile: 07887 990059 ronshiltonrs@gmail.com

The Masquerade Theatre group are holding an ‘Alternative Valentine’s Celebration Quiz’ on Friday the 19th February. The event kicks off at 7.30 pm at Flitwick Village Hall, Dunstable Road, Flitwick and tickets cost £10.00 which includes a candlelit sarnie supper. You are invited to bring your own drinks and glasses.

Contact telephone no: 07769 446 643 ‘Supporting East Anglia Air Ambulance’

Here we delve more into the whimsical, wacky and interesting world of Montgolfier:

BOXING DAY TRIPS Every Boxing Day I go on a Horse and Carriage trip for three hours and each year we have a different coach and horses. This year we had a super pair of perfectly matched Hungarian stallions. Last year we had a nice pair of Russian stallions. It can get cold sat up front so you need a good blanket round your legs. There is a choice of 6o horses and 150 coaches . You will often see them in films. I go for my rides with Gerard Naprous the owner. Do look them up at www.thedevilshorsemen.com On my table in a restaurant there was a card saying : ‘Fish and Chips - New recipe’ A man was taken to court for driving on a main road with no tread on his tyres. He was asked what sort of vehicle was he driving - he said a steam roller.

I saw Tim Peake going off into space for 6 months and noticed that his wife hadn’t packed him any sandwiches. Then I thought they may have a handy village shop up there.

I saw a programme on TV about a couple living in a caravan on a moorland site and it said they had to wash and bathe using rain water. We all do. There is no other form of water.

I was sent a Christmas card painted by someone holding the brush in their mouth. I couldn’t have done it using my hands!

Ampthill Park Hub Tel: 01525 406256

Ampthill Park Hub, Woburn Street, Ampthill MK45 2HX adjacent Ampthill Town Football Club

Ampthill Park Hub Christmas Fun Day On Sunday 20th December 2015 Ampthill Park Hub held their Christmas Fun Day and raised £812.87 for the Jigsaw Club, Ampthill.

They would like to take this opportunity to thank Cambridge Wine, Costa, Donatello’s, Fratellis, members of the Hub staff, Jigsaw, and St Andrews Church for their kind donations to the raffle, Country Properties for advertising the event and Ampthill Town Council for all their support.

A big THANK YOU also goes to David Hempsall and the Methodist Church carol singers on the day which was enjoyed by all, to Jigsaw members who helped out on the day and to ‘Santa’ for making an appearance.

Phil at the Hub supplied free mince pies, mulled wine and all the advertising involved for the day. WELL DONE EVERYONE. Also here at The Hub we sell LAVAZZA quality Italian coffee, plus teas, hot chocolate with cream and flake, ice creams, Slush, cakes and more Lots of seating inside and out in Ampthill’s historic country park and room for baby buggies!

Everybody welcome plus the dog (on a lead)! Plenty of parking + toilets with baby changing facilities We look forward to seeing you soon!

Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

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Digging up the Dirt

Part V (b): Who Are You? On arrival to the area where some archaeology had been uncovered the previous day, we were joined by a gorgeous long brown haired woman called Viv, it turned out that she and Ivan were very close, but that is another story. Viv was an archaeological illustrator, and I found out later that she was also a brilliant artist in her own right, yet another story. I helped Ivan and Viv draw and plan some of the archaeological features, I was the ranging rod and tape measure holder, but at the time I felt like a real archaeologist.

Soon instead of being bitter

and resentful of the history that was going to be lost in a few days time, I realised the importance of what we were doing and that just to record what was there was crucially important. It was fantastic, for the first time in my life I was actually doing something I really enjoyed doing, I had a purpose and was pretty good at it, well I certainly could dig holes, shift dirt and use a mattock. We stayed up on Foxholes Farm, the official name of the site, named after a farm that was here before the land had been claimed for the aggregate quarry, until late afternoon early evening. to be continued ....

All characters appearing in this work are factual. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is entirely intentional.

With Rocky Clifton who now brings us the crazy things that people say on the Australian version of Family Fortunes: Something you’d find in an operating room: ‘Operator’ An animal with three letters in its name: ‘Alligator’ Something that comes with a summer storm: ‘Snow’ Something you’d yell at if it stopped working: ‘Spouse’ Something you might buy that could turn out to be phony: ‘Horse’ Something you feel before you buy it: ‘Excited’ An animal whose eggs you would never eat for breakfast: ‘Hamster’ Something you might accidentally leave on all night: ‘Shoes’ A man’s best friend: ‘Rubies’ One of the three bears: Yogi’ A food that can be brown or white: ‘Potatoes’ Something that kills a lively party: ‘Gun’ A male dancer: ‘Betty Grable’ A kind of bear: ‘Papa bear’ Something London is famous for: ‘Pasta’ The longest you have been on the telephone: ‘Alaska’ Something you hang when its not working right: ‘Wall’ A food that comes smoked: ‘Tobacco’ Well, thanks once again for these - it seems that whatever part of the world you are in, people can’t help but give these crazy answers!

Fortnightly walks are held in and around Ampthill. If you need to get more active these short led walks could be just for you. You walk at your own pace in a friendly group and the walks last about an hour (there are some hills). It’s all free - just turn up. Next walks - all start at 10.00am: 29th January 12th February 26th February

Please telephone: 07903 171384

Danish Camp, Willington Wilstead, Whitworth Way CP Ampthill Park, West car park

For further information please contact: Lynda on 01234 740788 or at olivetree47@googlemail.com Or Laurie on 01525 403950 or at lalowe@btinternet.com or see http://ampthillheathwalks.blogspot.co.uk

When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re online too at www.thefuddler.com!

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Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com