The Fuddler June 2014

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Est. 2002

Dog Holiday Care Overnight stays and holiday care in our home - a great alternative to kennels.

Walks in the local countryside Est 1998 Collection available DAWN SMITH

Tel: 01234 764459 Mobile: 07789 585766

www.dogholidays.vpweb.co.uk alfred.smiths@btinternet.com Overnight Stays

C&R PEST MANAGEMENT x 40 Yrs experience x Fully Insured x Special Rates for OAPS! Wasps, Rats, Mice, Rabbits, Moles, etc Free Estimate 01525 288207 07500 431131

Yes, hello everyone and a very big welcome to another super sizzling June Fuddler!

There’s lots of information about local events inside plus your usual fun and nonsense too! We very much hope you enjoy the edition and don’t forget to

look carefully at what our advertisers are saying as we all know - ‘What ever you’re looking for - you’ll find it in The Fuddler’!

Again there’s a handy 4 page supplement with all the details of this year’s exciting Ampthill Festival in the centre of this issue!

NEED AN ELECTRICIAN? NIC-EIC Registered All electrical work Testing and Certification Free Estimates AMPTHILL ELECTRICAL SERVICES

01525 632921 07977173452

Quality eyewear at affordable prices and now ideal eyewear do sight tests too.

Sick PC or laptop?

To find out more call Geri 01525 715 759

Call the Doc for Hardware & software Diagnosis & treatment

See page 5

01525-402227 john.stafford@compu-doc.biz

HELP!!!!!!

WHERE DO I START???

DeͲcluttering? Reorganising?

Moving Home?

If you could use a professional helping hand with: x General deͲcluttering or reorganising x Removal and disposal of unwanted goods x Sale of goods and charity drops

Call TaylorMaid Home Services on 07854 223434 for a free, no obligation home visit. Fully insured.

Email: info@taylormaidhomeservices.co.uk Website: www.taylormaidhomeservices.co.uk

When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re online too at www.thefuddler.com!

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Summer is here!

No window or glazing job too small. x

10 Year insurance backed guarantee x Free quotations x Est. 1976

Put your trust in a company that has been trading for over 30 years!

New showroom coming soon!

For all your window, doors and conservatory needs call us now or visit our website.

Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

Upgrade from XP only ÂŁ100*

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We also upgrade offices/commerical sites with a full range of networking and IT Services. ŏƾůĹ?Ć? /d >ƚĚ͕ dŚĞ Ä‚ĆŒĹś Ďą ĹšĆľĆŒÄ?Ĺš ^ƚ͕ žƉƚŚĹ?ĹŻĹŻ Ͳ ĎŽĎą Ç‡ĆŒĆ? W ÄžÇ†Ć‰ÄžĆŒĹ?ĞŜÄ?Äž *Subject to availability, minimum 2gb RAM (we can upgrade to this) and other minimum requirements.

The Aragon Day Festival is holding a Table Top Sale at the Old Sun in Ampthill on Saturday, 21st June from noon until 4 pm. This is to raise funds for our Festival day next year, and entry to the Sale is free, with tables available for individuals, companies and other organisations at £8.00 each. Proceeds of the table hire go towards next year’s Aragon Day. As you probably know, Aragon Day Festival is held every two years in Ampthill (at the Old Sun) and is a historically themed family fun day with professional re-enactors illustrating life in the times of Katherine of Aragon. It is very popular but the enactors are fairly expensive and raising money for the event is never easy – we are always looking for local companies interested in sponsoring the event, and for new ways to find money.

If you are interested in hiring a table please contact Jenny Harris on jharrisjjp@googlemail.com or call her at the Old Sun on 01525 405466. For more information on Aragon Day itself, please see our website at www.aragondayfestival.org.uk The lovely Millbrook fete takes place this year on Saturday 12th July at Millbrook Village Hall. The event is to start at 2.00pm and there will be stalls, cream teas and many other attractions.

Also, watch out for a character looking suspiciously like Miss Marple! More details in next month’s Fuddler.

How much do you know about wine? You may enjoy drinking it, of course, but we bet you have lots of gaps in your knowledge about wine! Which is best, screw top or cork?

Which wine goes with what food, or does it matter? Can you really buy a decent wine at ÂŁ4.99 from a local supermarket?

Ampthill Festival are delighted to invite you to a fun winetasting evening when these and many more questions will be answered. On Friday 13th June, 8.00pm at the Wingfield Club in Ampthill there will be opportunities to drink some fine wines, win a bottle or two in our bottle raffle, buy a bottle or two at very competitive prices, and at the same time be educated and entertained by someone who really knows what’s what in the often rather snobbish world of wine.

Tickets are ÂŁ10 which includes wines and nibbles. They are available from Cambridge Wine Merchants in Church Street and The Stationery and Gift Boutique in Dunstable Street. We are limited to only 60 guests so it is vital that you get your tickets in good time!

For more details see posters around the town, call in to Cambridge Wines or ring Jill on 07840 932930 or Belinda on 07880 734148 or mail p.rose13@ntlworld.com

STAY SHARP Affordable sharpening of all scissors, including hairdresser and barber scissors, clippers, shears, vets, blades, dog grooming tools & more!

Phone: 07702 131345 Email: cliffalmondstaysharp@hotmail.com at Flitwick Market last Friday every month When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re online too at www.thefuddler.com!

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LORD DEE’S PONDERINGS

I am absolutely delighted this month Mellors has saved the day. He came round and has restored order to the eastern meadow, also attending to damage in the Ha Ha caused by the wet weather and even the runner beans are in.

Duster IV can now enjoy the sun terrace without a worry.

Ciao

A BRIANISM

I can’t wear shorts because I live in a listed building.

Events catered for Parties - Fetes Weddings

soft99whip

Scott - 07927 896402 Email -info@soft99whip.com www.soft99whip.com

Across: 1 Humble, 4 Zigzag, 7 Dalmatian, 9 Elan, 10 Well, 11 Angel, 13 Toggle, 14 Runlet, 15 Format, 17 Fright, 19 Eerie, 20 Scut, 22 Ante, 23 Sentiment, 24 Natter, 25 Yonder

Down: 1 Honest, 2 Bran, 3 Ermine, 4 Zither, 5 Glow, 6 Gimlet, 7 Dangerous, 8 Negligent, 11 Algae, 12 Lucre, 15 Fasten, 16 Teeter, 17 Firmly, 18 Tremor, 21 Text, 22 Anon

Spick and Span cleaning

07847 460 351

Reliable, thorough and personalised domestic cleaning.

“The Fuddler” is published by MDA Publications. The views expressed herein are not necessarily those of the publisher. No part of this publication may be copied in any form or by any means without written permission of the Publisher. Copyright MDA Publications.

Like to book an ad, or ask about our absurdly low rates please ring Martin on

Regular weekly/fortnightly or oneͲoff deep cleans. Ͳ Natural/ecoͲfriendly products used Ͳ Fully insured Ͳ References available Ͳ PetͲowners welcome

Or if you prefer, drop us an email to martin@thefuddler.com

If you’ve had a stove installed by us you may be due your annual Sweep & Service Stove service and chimney swept by our HETAS engineers

Please call for more details 1, Bedford Street, Ampthill, Beds Tel: 01525 841199 www.ampthillfireplaces.co.uk Mon - Fri: 10am - 5pm Sat: 10am - 4pm

Don’t Don’t worry worry if if you you missed missed an an issue issue -- you you can can catch catch up up at at www.thefuddler.com www.thefuddler.com

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ideal eyewear 01525 715 759 Unit 3 Highfield House – High Street 110 The Hawthorns, Flitwick, MK45 1FN

Quality eyewear at affordable prices and now we do sight tests too. If you need an eye test give us a call to book an appointment.

All frames include FREE scratch resistant single vision lenses and start from just £35

Top Quality Varifocals

Silhouette Rimless

Sight Tests Now available

All major brands Including

Essilor – Zeiss – Nikon Seiko - Rodenstock

Mon Tues Weds Thurs Fri Sat Sun

CLOSED 10.00 – 16.30 10.00 – 16.30 10.00 – 13.00 10.00 – 16.30 9.00 – 13.00 CLOSED

with Thinner/Lighter Scratch Resistant Anti Glare Lenses

£185

Large range of quality frames from classic styles to fashionable designers

Email: idealeyewear.flitwick@gmail.com Website : http//idealeyewearflitwick.co.uk When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re online too at www.thefuddler.com!

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*Maintenance *Drainage *Driveways *Landscaping *Fencing

*Patios

Contact: Andi Brackenridge T: 07789 681252 Email: enquiries@abbuildingandgroundworks.co.uk

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Painting and Decorating For all your interior and exterior decorating requirements.

City & Guilds qualified.

Professional, clean, reliable and friendly service.

Fully insured.

M

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Sandra’s been busy again looking through her big book of words (dictionary?) and brings us the word below. (Nothing to do with the crossword.) Just look at the hexagon and see whether or not the word jumps out at you!

(Answer at the bottom of the page if it doesn’t!)

C

23

E

Y

Electrical Contractor Domestic and Industrial Your local Electrical Contractor All types of testing and certification undertaken

FREE QUOTATIONS NICEIC Approved Contractor

For a free competitive quotation please call Paul

Working with Ampthill Town Council 11 Cedar Close, Ampthill, Bedford, MK45 2UD

01525 404645 or Mobile 07747 755943 www.prcdecorating.co.uk

Tel & Fax: 01525 714057

Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

Mendacity

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Here’s another of Marjorie’s fine crosswords for our entertainment Across: Down: 1 Corpulent (6) 1 Bandit (6) 4 Peek (6) 2 Atop (4) 7 Absolute (9) 3 Bestow (6) 9 Advantage (4) 4 Stringed instrument (6) 10 Nobleman (4) 5 Anguish (4) 11 Toast (anag) (5) 6 Eagle chick (6) 7 Unquestionably (9) 13 Mob (6) 8 Garrulous (9) 14 Din (6) 15 Contradicted (6) 11 Precipitation (5) 17 Sift (6) 12 Nocturnal mammal (5) 19 Singing voice (5) 15 Narrative song (6) 20 Verdant (4) 16 Shortage (6) 22 London cricket ground (4) 17 Ensue (6) 23 Irreverence (9) 18 Savour (6) 24 Disengage (6) 21 Ditch (2,2) 25 Gripping tool (6) 22 Giant (4)

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WK $QQXDO %HHU )HVWLYDO DW $PSWKLOO 5XJE\ &OXE 6DWXUGD\ WK -XQH SP 0LGQLJKW 5HDO $OHV SOXV &LGHUV 3HUU\V /,9( 0XVLF DQG ,QGLDQ )RRG When you advertise in The Fuddler - youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re online too at www.thefuddler.com!

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D. Hymus Carpentry

All types of Carpentry & Joinery undertaken including, Doors, Locks, Skirting, Kitchens, Laminate/Real wood flooring, Fencing and Decking, also Ceramic wall/floor tiling.

Fully insured qualified tradesman Please call Dan on 01525 636230 Mob 07794 004037 For a competitive quote.

For everything you need for all types of party - and more ... please have a look at our website to see! www.bigkids-littlekids.co.uk or call Zoe on 07794 144601

With The Duchess of Troll Age is only a number.......

Sam Ilex was joined by his two neighbours for a cup of hot and strong Bedfordshire tea and homemade jam sponge. All three sat looking out of the “washhouse” shed’s double doors, admiring the neat and tidy garden of vegetables and flowers, talking about hobbies old and new.

The soon to be ninety year old “Railway Joyce” had long been a keen cyclist and had only in the last decade given up her much loved pastime. However, she began telling Sam that she had seen a beautiful painted tradesman’s bike with a basket for deliveries set above the front

Bedfordshire tea with cheese and biscuits. No pint that night.

By the way, years later Sam Ilex came across the same cyclist.

Yes, went on another 10 mile bike ride..........some people never learn!

Sam Ilex passed another cup of tea and slice of jam sponge to “Railway Joyce” and “Friday Jan”, the afternoon being warm and just right for storytelling.

She and her friend “Friday Jan” told of during their long winter wartime nights, and way into the fifties too, sitting cutting up old coats, trousers and thick skirts into long strips to thread through hessian sacking using a wooden shaped peg, or purpose made metal needle. These rugs took many hours to complete, became heavier and heavier as the work progressed so were rested on the scrubbed kitchen

wheel, which now held a notice asking for sponsors for a hundred mile charity bike ride and wondered if she could take part in one of the stages. What a gal....

Many years before - then in his late fifties Sam rarely cycled after becoming a car owner - on the walk to his favourite watering hole, he engaged in a conversation with a tandem bike rider who was repairing a puncture, so offered to help, as the chap was much pleased with an experts help and advice, suggested to Sam that he join him in a short ride to say ‘thank you’. However, 10 miles later he arrived exhausted back at the door of the hostelry, only to find it closed.

Thirsty and hot, walking home seemed miles and uphill – just a few feet – at last to enjoy a hot cup of

table.

When finally laid on the floor, all the family hunted for their favourite pieces of cloth or pattern and remembered where and when the item had been worn. These rugs were dust traps so, outside they went to be hung on the washing line to be beaten with a carpet beater, either made of metal or cane, shaped like an old fashioned pre war tennis racket. Kept you fit, calmed you down after a row with hubby. No need to go on reality T.V as nowadays to air ones frustrations. You just beat the rug. Made you cough. Must have done you some good!?.....mind you neighbours would know if you had a row, that is, if they had not already heard you.... “There she is, beating the rugs again!”

D.O.T

MOT TESTING STATION IN AMPTHILL We cater for MOT and Servicing for all your individual requirements whilst also accommodating fleet needs.

Ampthill MOT Centre have a fully featured Class IV MOT testing bay. We launched the service in early 2009, serving Herts, Beds and Bucks. Fully qualified MOT inspectors are available for cars and small vans, with over 40 years experience. Authorised vehicle testing station approved by the vehicle inspectorate.

At Ampthill MOT Centre, we carry out servicing and repairs to all makes and models. To prolong the life of your vehicle it is important that you have it serviced regularly. We service all vehicle types and models, including cars, vans, miniͲcoaches & small plant / equipment. If you have your vehicle serviced with us, it will not invalidate the manufacturer's warranty.

Competitive rates.

Collection & delivery

Fault finding

Code reading / Diagnostics Brakes

Engine rebuilds

Batteries

MOT repairs

Fault lights reset

Tyres & Exhausts

Courtesy vehicles

We are a family run business who have been working in the motor trade for over 40 years

Total Fleet Care

Unit 5, Vass Industrial Estate, Station Road, Ampthill, MK45 2RB SERVICING

REPAIRS

Telephone: 01525 405055 Web: www.totalfleetcare.com

Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

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YOUR LOCAL Memory Foam Mattresses Direct from the manufacturer at trade prices!

No.1 For Scooters, Stairlifts & Mobility Can’t get to us? Call now to organise a free no pressure home demonstration with one of our friendly sales advisors.

Curved & Straight stairlifts available.

AtȱComfortȱMattressȱweȱmanufactureȱ andȱdistributeȱhighȱqualityȱȱ MemoryȱFoamȱmattressesȱlocallyȱ fromȱShefford.ȱ Weȱsellȱdirectȱtoȱtheȱpublicȱandȱtradeȱ cuttingȱoutȱtheȱmiddleȱmen,ȱallowingȱ usȱtoȱsellȱaȱrangeȱofȱfoamȱproductsȱatȱȱ FANTASTICȱlowȱprices!!ȱ Takeȱadvantageȱofȱmassiveȱ discountedȱpricesȱonlyȱavailableȱȱ fromȱourȱFactoryȱOutletȱatȱȱ Unitȱ5B,ȱStȱFrancisȱWay,ȱȱȱ Shefford,ȱBedsȱSG17ȱ5DZȱ 30% Discount off web site prices with this voucher.

Not to used with any other offer

New and used Scooters, part ex welcome.

Wheelchairs, Ramps, Walking Sticks, Grab Rails, Tri-Walkers, Rollators, Bathlifts, Waterproof Clothing & much more.

For more information call us or visit our website at www.comforthomecare.co.uk

WWW.COMFORT MATTRESS.CO.UK When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re online too at www.thefuddler.com!

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FARMERS MARKETS AT WOBURN

Don’t forget Town Hall Antiques in Woburn.

Silver, jewellery, porcelain, pictures and much more.

01525 290950.

Don’t forget the famous Woburn Farmers Market is on Sunday the 15th and is held on the Pitchings in Woburn from 10.00am - 2.00pm.

You are welcome to come and peruse a great variety of fresh produce!

With Jimmy The Voice JTV has been drawing with his pencil again and has sent us this picture of a hexagon, but is it a hexagon? ...

Market Place, Woburn, Beds. MK17 9PZ Open Tues to Fri 10am until 5.30pm, 11am until 5.30pm Sunday www.townhallantiques.co.uk info@townhallantiques.co.uk

PS We’re always looking to buy as well

By Julio Van Peebles 1) How do you apply for a job at the Job Centre?

2) Why don't they call the boat race, 'The Face'?

3) If a loaf of bread was shaped like a horse, would it be thorough bread?

4) What happened to 'Yuppies'?

5) Can anyone remember Laredo?

A Very Happy 18th on the 10th June Niall.

Love Mum, Dad, Kieran and Caitlin.

Northy

Easty

Julio’s Useless Fact: Did you know that plants grow more quickly if you speak to them in a Geordie accent !!!

Southy ...we reckon that if you look at the picture it somehow changes into a cube - or does it? But, what do you think?

June 9th Happy Birthday to Charlotte R.

Happy Birthday Richard for the 4th June from all your customers except one!

love from everybody X

Happy Birthday for the 23rd!

Happy Birthday Jas for the 23rd June

THE PRINCE OF WALES 24 Bedford Street Ampthill MK45 2NB Tel: 01525 840504 Fax: 01525 840574

‘ENJOY THE WORLD CUP ON A PLATE’

During the competition we will be serving authentic dishes from the Countries playing matches during that week

Special drinks offers available for the whole Tournament

We will also be showing all Brasil and England matches during the Tournament

So good luck to England ! and Vai Brasil !

Come and enjoy the Spirit of Brasil at The Prince of Wales Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

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FREE PRESCRIPTION DELIVERY Can’t get to the chemist or surgery?

Receptionist: There’s an invisible client in reception

Accountant: Tell them I’m sorry, I can’t see them today!

Don’t worry, we’ll pick up your prescription from your surgery and deliver your medication to your door.

Covering Ampthill, Clophill, Flitwick, Houghton Conquest, Maulden, Silsoe, Wilstead & surrounding villages.

Accounts, Payroll, Bookkeeping, Tax, Business Advice ... and much more.

Ring to book a free, noͲobligation meeting today!

Babs was determined to prove to her friends that she was not so silly after all.

So she and her two friends went out for a long walk in the countryside.

On their walk they came to a wide river and one of her friends decided that the best way across was to swim across.

Babs’ second friend thought that to swim would be too hazardous so she suggested that they went down the river bank in search of a suitable boat.

After further discussion ‘Why don’t we just cross using the bridge?’ Babs said, cleverly.

CHEESEMANS PHARMACY OF AMPTHILL Tel: 01525 402173

Not to get technical but according to chemistry alcohol is a solution.

Why do people keep running over a thread a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

My friend’s husband is so silly that he decided he would like to be a farmer. So he took a pharmacy course.

If you feel that people are treating you as a loser you have to recognise the fact that your disguise is too good.

Multitasking. Why be rubbish at just one thing when you can be rubbish at lots of things.

A word to the wise isn’t necessary. It’s the stupid ones that need it.

Laugh at yourself first before anyone else can.

Reincarnation can’t be true. If it were we wouldn’t keep marrying the same mistakes.

Medical research has discovered that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men. Who mention it.

Sorry I’m late but I've been searching for the hero inside myself.

Building Preservation Specialists x

Damp Proofing

x

Woodworm Treatments

x

Dry / Wet Rot Treatments

x

Basement Waterproofing

Telephone/Fax (01525) 406655 Mobile: 07850 727752 email: Jim@dunritepreservation.co.uk

16 Tavistock Avenue, Ampthill, Bedford. MK45 2RY When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re online too at www.thefuddler.com!

1. Who created ‘Superintendent Roderick Alleyn’?

2. In which US state is there a town called ‘Likely’?

3. What is a ‘Ballon’?

4. A ‘Cete’ is the collective term for which creature?

5. In which year did George Burns win an Oscar for ’The Sunshine Boys’?

6. Where would you find a ’Plackart’?

7. I f y o u s u f f e r e d f r o m ‘Logophobia’ what would you fear?

8. When was the song ‘Love is all Around’ written?

9. What was one of Jeremy Irons 1st jobs?

10.Who presented ‘Blue Peter from 1972-9?

1 Ngaio Marsh, 2 California, 3 Ballet leap, 4 Badger, 5 1976 (aged 80), 6 Suit of armour, 7 Words, 8 1967, 9 Busker, 10 Lesley Judd

114 High Street, Cranfield, Beds, MK43 0DG Tel: 01234 752566 Email: info@vowles.co.uk www.vowles.co.uk

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FOR HIRE

What fantastic photos you are sending us! Many, many thanks! This month on the left we have Heather with her Fuddler on her way to the botanic gardens in New South Wales, Australia and below is this delightful photo of Evie on her 11th Birthday in The Maldives. Thanks again.

If you have any pictures of a Fuddler being read away from home please send them in to martin@thefuddler.com

Millbrook Village Hall Perfect for your party

For further informaƟon call 01525 404221

www.millbrookvillagehall.co.uk

THE JOLLY COOPERS

Traditional Country Village Pub and Restaurant Summer is with us now and we are all thinking of our holidays and spending time in the garden. Ian has finished the planting and the troughs and baskets are looking beautiful.

Why not come and enjoy a relaxing time in the sun with a cool glass of wine or a pint of beer (3 real ales all changing regularly) and maybe a snack from the bar menu.

The new summer a la carte menu is now available and offers some very tasty choices all prepared from the freshest ingredients from Covent Garden and Billingsgate.

We do hope you'll come and give it a try

UPDATE Ͳ The Full Monty is set for Sunday of the August Bank Holiday 24th.

A fun filled day with music, Hog roast and a whole lot more ending with The Jolly Cooper's version of the FULL MONTY. Put the date in your diary!

Bobbi and Ian look forward to seeing you soon

You can always check what is going on at jollycoopersflitton.co.uk THE JOLLY COOPERS, WARDHEDGES, FLITTON, BEDS TEL: 01525 860626 Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

Page 13

We have so much going on in store over the next few weeks, I’m so excited I can barely speak. (Which is not like me lol).

With the world cup already started, Watching England play is not for the weak hearted.

So we have world cup gifts out on display And world cup scratch cards that we are giving away.

To acquire one of these unique scratch cards* Just spend over five pounds now come on that’s not going to be too hard.

With many great gifts to be won, So why not call in and join in the world cup fun.

Also coming up is Father’s day, 15th of June is the day, And as there’s so many great fathers out there, Come in and buy them a card to show them you care.

I also hear we are mentioned on Ampthill TV Below is their web site so you can all go and see.

There’s only a small piece that’s been done by Chris Hayes, Telling you about a fantastic offer that will leave you amazed.

Also we have so many offers and promotions in store, I just wish I had more space in the Fuddler so I could tell you about more.

So I think that’s it for my little rhyme, And as usual it late as I never get them done on time.

So it just leaves me one more important thing to say, To my great dad HAPPY FATHERS DAY. Your local newsagent MARTINS 17 CHURCH STREET AMPTHILL 404096 THE WED SITE IS www.ampthill.tv *terms and conditions apply

FIONA G R AY

Independent Financial Advisers

“

Fiona is friendly, caring and very knowledgeable about financial matters, especially tax planning. She listens to what your needs are and will give you appropriate advice tailor-made to your circumstances. I have recommended her on several occasions and always received positive feedback.

36 Dunstable Street, Ampthill Telephone 01525 634857 1500+ Ales from April 2010 THE PERMANENT BEER FEST SOUTH BEDS CAMRA PUB OF THE YEAR 2014 WEDNESDAY 18TH JUNE 8.30pm CHARITY QUIZ IN AID OF KEECH HOSPICE CARE Themed from ‘Who Wants to be a Millionaire’ Teams of up to 6 £2.00 entry Charity Raffle

If you would like to hold an event at The Albion please talk to Russell

CAMRA BEDS PUB OF THE YEAR 2013

”

01525 450037

The Brewery Tap, North Bridge Street, Shefford - Tel: 01462 628448

www.graymoney.co.uk

Seven Stars, Albert Square, Rugby, CV21 2SH - Tel: 01788 561402

The Old Forge, 39A Woburn Street, Ampthill, Bedfordshire MK45 2HX

Bricklayers Arms, 29 Queen Street, Hitchin, SG4 9TP - Tel: 01462 422700

Mrs E M, Beds

Call to arrange a free initial meeting

Fiona Gray Financial Planning Limited is an appointed representative of Caliber Financial Associates Limited, which is authorised and regulated by the Financial Conduct Authority

OUR OTHER PUBS ARE: The Globe, Winfield Street, Dunstable (Bedfordshire Pub of the year 2010) - Tel: 01582 512300 The Wellington Arms, Wellington Street, Bedford (North Beds Pub of the year 2010) - Tel: 01234 308033 The Elm Tree, Orchard Street, Cambridge - Tel: 01223 502632

www.banksandtaylor.com

When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re online too at www.thefuddler.com!

Page 14

Parkside Hall Wins Prize for Best Public Service Building

Ampthill Open Gardens

Parkside Community Hall won the best Public Service Building Award at the LABC (Central;) Awards in Milton Keynes on Friday 16th May. LABC (Local Authority Building Control) awards are for "Excellence" shown from a construction and technical building control point of view. They recognise “not just buildings but celebrate their design and construction teams that have tussled with technical issues, difficult sites and found innovative and creative solutions”.

Having won this regional competition the winning Parkside Hall team will now go forward to grand national finals to be held in London in November.

But the success is not all about bricks and mortar. The hall is alive and singing with choirs, keep fit, dancing, Karate, Zumba and much more.

Special events coming to Parkside in June: 6th June Gary Wood and Adrian Ward perform and evening of Jazz and Magic 21st June ‘Scout Aid’ – Live Aid style midsummer party to raise money for a new heating system for our local scouts 27th – 29th June The Sound of Music will be performed by the Ampthill Musical Theatre Society The management committee of Parkside wants to thank everyone who has supported, and continues to support, the hall.

See www.parksidehall.org.uk for details of all activities and more forthcoming events at the hall.

AMPTHILL GARDENERS – DON’T MISS OUT! The Ampthill Open Gardens event is now in its fifth year and has proved to be a most popular occasion attracting 400-500 visitors and raising over £1000 for local charities.

Each year we welcome new gardens to participate – this year’s date is Sunday 29 June. Your garden doesn’t have to be pristine – appealing features and attractive planting are much more interesting, including the odd weed! The only stipulation is that you are a resident of Ampthill.

Don’t let the weather put you off, we’ve enjoyed 4 years of good weather for our Open Gardens and everyone’s garden looked a picture!

So don’t miss out! Contact Angie Murdoch on 01525 403076 (mobile 07736 452131) or email angiemurdoch@virginmedia.com as soon as possible for further details.

As part of the Ampthill Festival 2014

4th June - Happy Birthday to Lord Fred Ash

Happy Birthday Mandy for the 22nd June

Ampthill Park Hub Tel: 01525 406256

AMPTHILL FESTIVAL Ͳ PROMS, AMPROCKS & GALA DAY Food and drink served all day until 9.00pm Come and enjoy a quality Lavazza coffee or a cup of tea and maybe a cake in the lovely rural setting in Ampthill’s historic Country Park. Bring the kids along and let them play on our Giant Connect 4!!

Ampthill Park Hub, Woburn Street, Ampthill MK45 2HX adjacent Ampthill Town Football Club Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

Page 15

When you advertise in The Fuddler - youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re online too at www.thefuddler.com!

Page 16

Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

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When you advertise in The Fuddler - youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re online too at www.thefuddler.com!

Page 18

Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

Page 19

Heartiest congratulations to Richard and KT on your engagement!

love from everyone!!

Sunday 15th June

IT’S FATHER’S DAY!!

Fortnightly walks are held in and around Ampthill. If you need to get more active these short led walks could be just for you. You walk at your own pace in a friendly group and the walks last about an hour (there are some hills). It’s all free just turn up. Next walks - all start at 10.00am: 20th June 4th July 18th July

Marston Vale Forest Centre Maulden Church Ampthill Park, West Car Park

For further information please contact: Lynda on 01234 740788 or at olivetree47@googlemail.com or Dennis on 07508 827279 or at fortytwa@virginmedia.com Or see http://ampthillheathwalks.blogspot.co.uk

June 4th

Happy Birthday to Mr Magoo

from Sue and you know who!

Birthday Boy, Last one ‘single’ enjoy! (No stags allowed) Me and

small person xxx

Why not treat Dad to a gift he really will appreciate?

Put a couple of pints in for him then leave him to enjoy them! (Gift vouchers available)

Saturday 21st June we are pleased to welcome back ...

RANCE’S ROCKIN’ CHAIR BAND ‘Jazz, often amusing - always entertaining’

5 piece jazz band 8.30 - 11.00pm “Me and Jane in a plane”

Sunday 6th July

AMPTHILL FESTIVAL GALA DAY Make sure you arrive early to get your seats to watch the best show in town with the Festival Parade!

Plus...

EVERY WEDNESDAY - QUIZ NIGHT Our highly popular quiz is every Wednesday starting at 8.00pm sharp. Come and test your knowledge with our guest Quizmasters everyone welcome.

EVERY THURSDAY - VINYL NIGHT Starting at about 8.00 pm each Thursday you are invited to bring along your old vinyl records to play, or simply come along and enjoy the music!

SUNDAY LUNCHTIMES Come and enjoy a truly sumptuous array of bar snacks and nibbles for you to enjoy with your drinks ... with Richard’s compliments

CHESS PLAYERS WANTED For our ongoing chess challenge - please ask at the bar for details

SUNNY WEST TERRACE Enjoy the last of the day’s sunshine

For more information contact Becky sinclairz@aol.com 07977 575 196

And all this in our newly decorated pub (courtesy of Steve and, of course, Robbie!!)

When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re online too at www.thefuddler.com!

Page 20

T Butlin Building and Plastering Est 1987

www.timbutlinbuilders.co.uk

26 years in business For your extensions, renovations, alterations, Upvc fascias / soffitts, guttering, block paving and all plastering including artex ceilings and walls plastered back to flat.

Tel: 01525 405670 / Mob: 07778 680393

Also offering: Impressions Female decorators All aspects of painting and decorating.

With female finesse to make the most of your home Tel 01234 751282 or 01525 405670 / Mob: 07944 710179

Caritas Harmony Caritas Harmony (previously known as Pasque Harmony) have been performing in theatres, churches, village halls, gardens, and conference centres to a variety of fee paying audiences and wedding congregations since 2003. During that time the choir has raised in excess of £130,000 for Keech Hospice Care, recorded 2 CDs and has built up a repertoire of over 130 pieces from modern pop songs to classical arrangements. Performing with other choirs that have included the world renowned Morriston Orpheus Male Voice Choir and The London Welsh, Peterborough, Stevenage and Vauxhall Male Voice Choirs. The Choir has built up a great reputation and a loyal Luton following and has been fortunate to be compered by well known personalities such as Pam Rhodes, Esther Rantzen and Nick Owen.

In partnership with Macmillan Caritas Harmony now chooses a charity to support each year and Macmillan Cancer Support will benefit in 2014. The choir members are delighted that they are to be partnering with Macmillan Cancer Support in their first year as Caritas Harmony. The charity perfectly reflects the choir’s name and ethos of charity, friendship and compassion.

WHERE YOU CAN SEE CARITAS HARMONY IN 2014 A full listing of concerts scheduled for 2014 is given on our website at www.caritasharmony.co.uk, or call Brenda on 01582 873656 or Fay on 01763 853696. Please come along to hear us and help us to raise money for this vitally important work.

Josh - Happy Birthday for 29th June

27th June - Birthday greetings to LBJ!!

Maulden Garage Ltd FOR ALL YOUR VEHICLE NEEDS Modern Classic or Vintage Repairs, Servicing, Breakdowns, Fabrication, Tyres, Exhausts Classic Rally Car Preparation and on event service support Unit 10 Woodside Clophill Road Maulden Beds MK45 2AE www.mauldengarage.co.uk mauldengarage@btconnect.com

01525 862877 Free local delivery and collection service

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Page 21

In the previous edition of The Fuddler I related how I once went walking with wolves and ended up getting bitten. We take up the story with the group making their way down a field with the men on the leads making a great show, when in reality they were merely taking big dogs for a walk. The phalanx of T-shirted women cleared the way when, apart from us, the field was empty. Upon reaching a fence I stepped forward to open the gate, something I must have done hundreds of times. As I reached for the latch there came an order to stop. ‘You haven’t been gate trained’ I was informed.

A T-shirt stepped forward ‘I’ve been gate trained’ she proudly informed the group and then proceeded to make a great show of opening and closing the gate. How much training does that need? We were now on a disused rail line when in the distance a man was observed taking his dog for a walk. ‘We’ve got to leave now’ and so after another pantomime performance of opening and shutting the gate we made our way back up the field. One of the wolves pounced.

A shrew lay on the ground the wolf's claw having caused considerable damage. A T-shirt started to sob quietly. I reached down in order to poke the shrew to determine whether it needed to be put out of it’s misery as it’s stomach had been torn open. With it’s last action the shrew latched onto my outstretched finger it’s teeth clamping shut. to be continued P.S. The ‘time has not been kind to him’ ex-landlord knowing that he would be in foreign climes during the recent election applied for a postal vote. He could not fill in the ballot paper as he was unable to locate the Whig party box.

Tel: 01525 403319 email: engineandtender@live.co.uk Engine & Tender - Bar

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Sunday 29th June

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Page 22

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Unit 5, Lower Rectory Farm, Great Brickhill, Milton Keynes, Bucks MK17 9AF

37 Russell Drive Ampthill MK45 2TX Phone: 01525 402509 ROCKET’S SECOND “GRAND TOUR” ON A B.M.W. MOTOR CYCLE Continued from last month: July 2012 I find myself out of the built up area and back in the countryside. Then the road starts climbing and winding through dense cool forest, further and further up I wind until my ears pop, I look at the sat nav and see I’m at 1800 feet above sea level and carry on climbing to a very impressive 2500 feet where I cross the border into the old Czechoslovakia now the Czech republic.

Immediately I notice the difference in road condition

with everything around me grey concrete. I ride down a dual carriageway similar to the A1 and only see two cars. I move from the empty carriageway into an urban area, since its mid day it seems the Czech people have a siesta like the Spanish because the towns are all deserted – well not completely deserted! Every 50 to 100 yards both sides of the road are some of the most beautiful women I have ever seen, and yes they are all waving me to stop! I slow down at some traffic lights and a very friendly young lady jumps up from the curb where she has been sat playing with her phone and starts waving “hello English man” “Hello” I say

out of courtesy “Fancy …………” I never heard what she finished that sentence with, the lights changed! I’ve always found old ex eastern block countries very interesting.

The soviet influence is still quite strong here with the concrete roads and structures everywhere. They are deteriorating and its strange to see tufts of grass growing between the concrete road sections. I’m out of the town and back on a deserted raised carriageway, I look over and there are a lot of tower blocks poking out of the forest, many have been cheered up by being painted very bright colours, they remind me of my childhood

(and adulthood) building lego houses. I ride back into another town and sit in behind another set of traffic lights to the left of me there is another very pretty girl sitting in a farm gateway reading a book, I see she has a flask of coffee and some sandwiches, just another day for her at work! She looks up and gives me a smile that could melt the hardest of men. The lights change and before I know it I’m back in Germany and the prostitutes have been replaced by market stalls in the lay-bys selling strawberry’s and soft drinks, Not so interesting I’m afraid! ... to be continued

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Page 23

Woburn Village Open Gardens Day and Scarecrow Competition is on Saturday June 14th, 10.30am to 5.30pm.

Approx a dozen gardens will be open around the village and there will be scarecrows on The Green opposite the Inn at Woburn, along the streets and in some gardens. Entry to all gardens is £4 and programmes are available on the day at The Heritage Centre, the free car park and on The Green. Each programme contains a map of the open gardens and a voting slip for the scarecrow competition.

Refreshments will be available in some gardens and at Woburn Lower School next door to The Heritage Centre.

All proceeds in aid of Woburn Heritage Centre Trust and Woburn Lower School.

Fancy a dip? The lovely Woburn Lido in Crawley Road, Woburn is now open every day until September.

Gifted to the Community over 100 years ago by the Duke of Bedford, the Lido faced certain closure earlier this year, until a group of locals came together to save it for the Community.

Restoring the pool has been a huge task, which could not have been done without the invaluable support of local people and businesses like Nonna’s Italian Restaurant, Queensway Print Ltd, Souster & Hicks, Vector Lighting and Feast Catering.

Belated Birthday greetings to Geoff ‘Poet Extraordinaire’ for the 30th May

RIDGMONT STATION Tea Rooms A delightful hidden gem!

CAFÉ MENU x A selection of teas, coffees and

soft drinks x Home made cake and scones x Cream teas are our speciality! x Set afternoon cream teas £5.95 x Please note we are closed on

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HOW TO FIND US: By rail alight at Ridgmont Station By road follow station signs from A507 RIDGMONT STATION | STATION ROAD | RIDGMONT BEDFORDSHIRE | MK43 OXP T: 01525 287 120 M: 07861 732 850 E:ridgmonttearoom@gmail.com Full disabled access, toilets and free car park

When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re online too at www.thefuddler.com!

Page 24

The Fuddler will be 12 years old next month!! To book your ad in this special Birthday edition or to find out more details please ring Martin on 01525 841434 Happy Birthday to Nick ‘The Slipper’ for 20th June

Happy Birthday to James Laursen with love from Roo x

With The Imp

Here’s a bit more mischief that a kind reader has sent in:

If you write down the following: 101-102 = 1, you will see that the equation is wrong. However, by moving one number you can make it correct!

Answer below

Thought for the month:

‘That which is essential is invisible to the eye.’

1. ‘I don’t need glasses but you are a bit blurry.’

2. ‘I can’t walk in these glasses.’

3. ‘I don’t need my cigarettes because I don’t walk in the street.’

4. ‘We know a sing about that don’t we?’

5. ‘He was the same size as he is now but smaller.’

6. ‘Sorry, I got mislaid.’

7. ‘It was the only black dog out of the two black dogs.’

8. ‘Is that one off the hot press?’

9. ‘Chips are made in Belgium.’

10.‘There’s only one window open but it’s closed.’

11.‘Why don’t people hear what I think?’

Thanks again Imp

Birthday wishes to Hester and Thomas (aka Granni & UT) enjoy and we will raise a glass in your direction xxx KT & Roo

Hello everyone. I am an actress in a very popular TV show that is currently being shown on your televisions.

I play one of the main characters in a programme that is a spin off from the original series.

But do you recognise me?

Answer at the foot of the page.

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Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

101-102 = 1

Page 25

Astonishment must be girded at all cost within close proximity of a lady, to avoid alarming such gentle of beings. However, there are exceptions to this rule. Astonishment can purvey a Gentlemen’s ardent and unsullied wonderment upon hearing the news that said lady friend has completed her very first crossstitch. When accompanied with loss of monocle-adhesion, such attentiveness can add certain flair to a Gentlemen’s wooing arsenal.

Welcome to the tertiary digest of Briars & Brogues. We endeavour to continue the meandering journey through the plethora of purveyors of intoxication, (both public and free) scattered about our delightful county and offer you our nonpartisan contemplation of such noble establishments.

This month we tender our reconnaissance of: The Green Man, Eversholt My humble cohort and I were driving our motor-carriages through the delightful surrounds of Eversholt when we slowed to appreciate the Norman architecture of St. John the Baptist church.

The first official mention of the church was in 1166 when Simon de Beauchamp gave away two-thirds of his tithes to the Priory of Newnham on the occasion of its foundation. We mused that we must raise a glass to such a fine Gentleman and we searched with haste for a suitable taproom to conduct such homage.

We quickly stumbled across a local establishment, and we duly instructed the valet to take care of the cumbersome task of parking the motor-carriage. A Gentleman must never let such menial tasks hinder the noble pursuit of imbibing. Upon arrival we were welcomed personally by the Landlord which we found to be most charming. We both agreed that we would instruct our attaché to pen a telegram of thanks.

During our perusal of the chambers, we discovered that The Green Man has been part of the village of Eversholt since 1765, originally under the name ‘Go Further, Fare Worse’ which we both remarked upon, and likened to the unspoken rule that a Gentleman must never run. As we sat charging our pipes, we watched as a rather pleasant young lady proceeded to spill the contents of her receptacle over an unsuspecting hound beneath her feet. Hilarity ensued.

We both agreed that Simon would be proud of such an establishment. Here’s to you Simon, we salute you.

Ambience 7.25 A true ‘country pub’ with ample capacity for a Gentleman to invite his fellow associates to discuss politics, economics and pipe smoking.

Disbursements 7 £3.50 for a pint of Jack's Spaniels ale. A fantastic tipple for a thirsty Gentleman.

Sustenance 7.25 Beautifully presented, equally pleasing to the palate, and at a cost that would satisfy the most humble of pocket.

Bounders Hound 8.5 The majority of the punters being dog aficionados, a Gentleman’s working dog is most welcome.

Locus, Locus, Locus 7.75 Wonderful surrounds and easy to locate for a sharp navigator.

Allotment for one’s carriage is ample, although rather too close to the local sheep for our liking.

Total Score: 37.75/50 In the next edition, we shall be answering the fundamental questions: what is the optimum temperature where it is permissible for a Gentleman to remove his dress-shirt? And in what scenario is this acceptable behaviour?

If you are a landlord, and wish your noble establishment to be critiqued by our brace of hirsute Gentlemen here in The Fuddler, please instruct your attaché to correspond. © 2014 Briars and Brogues™

Houses Cleared Bedford: 01234 864565 Milton Keynes: 01908 769737

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When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re online too at www.thefuddler.com!

Page 26

JH ELECTRICAL AND PROPERTY MAINTENANCE SERVICES • DOMESTIC • INDUSTRIAL • COMMERCIAL

24 HR CALLOUT AVAILABLE All electrical work undertaken email: supaspark@tiscali.co.uk 1978 for about £15 from the Melbourne stockist and it had poppers instead of “original” buttons, ALL the main characters in the film had specially made “authentic” driz-a-bones with buttons and other things from the period; when I got back to London in 1978 the driz-a-bones coat had become a fashion accessory and you could buy one in Knightsbridge for over £300! You still see them around but the company had sold the trademark name to another manufacturer and maybe they did change the design a bit, I have heard some negative comments about them re comfort and how hard it was to care of the fabric, plus the fact that

City Slickers BE SEEN BUT NOT HEARD Part 2 of 4 East Australia, early 1978 It would be wrong to suggest that the film company took over or changed the station but they did leave a mark, even if only temporary, For instance they built a substantial mock up of a cattle station homestead and yard on an out of the way hill side where there was NO chance of scenes appearing with 20th century artefacts. A less conspicuous topic, the classic clothing of an early 20th century stock man included an Akubra bush hat and a long coat called a “driz -a-bones”; I bought mine in

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they can smell a bit ripe but I think that some of these comments are from folk who maybe “ride to hounds” or other haute école pursuits where style and appearance is more important than trying to stay dry for 9 hours on a horse in the pouring rain!

Other changes to the daily routine did affect me directly, one of these changes was feeding the horses, after the normal monthly big rides, the horses had to eat well and put on some of the condition that they had lost but they had plenty of time for that on grass and a bit of Lucerne but now, they were working harder for the training and required superior nourishment. So every

morning I would drag a large sack of Barastoc, (VERY good quality horse feed), on a sack trolley to a paddock where the horses would hear m e c a l l , a n d c o me thundering in across the Delatite river or from the direction of Mt Timbertop, (where Prince Charles went to school some 12 years earlier).

Next time, a tale to emphasise just how tasty the Barastoc horse feed was, and still is, then the embarrassing moment that inspired the title of these few tales, which may seem familiar to those who know me!

Prof Reginald V Q da Ghama IPA With kind permission of Jim Barr

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Page 27

TASTY GOULASH STYLE CHICKEN For 4 people you will need: 4 chicken joints from your local butcher 1 medium onion 1 can chopped tomatoes 1 tbs flour 2 tsp tomato puree 1 tsp paprika 1 carton natural yoghurt (125ml) Salt and pepper Chicken stock A little cooking oil A little white wine for you to enjoy whilst you are cooking.

Firstly season the chicken pieces with slat and pepper and fry until golden brown, then remove from pan. Peel

and finely chop the onion, fry until tender then add the paprika and tomato puree.

Transfer to saucepan.

Strain the tomatoes and make up the juice to about 250 ml with chicken stock, then add to saucepan with the tomatoes, bring to the boil and replace chicken.

Cover and gently cook for about 45 minutes until chicken is cooked through, then remove chicken to a serving dish and keep hot.

Finally blend the flour with a little water and stir into saucepan. Bring to the boil and cook for a further 1 minute stirring all the time.

Stir in the yogurt and pour sauce over chicken.

Congratulations to Jim and Sue on your Wedding Anniversary on 19th June!

Happiest of Birthday wishes to Mark and Chap, all our love KT & Roo

THE WHITE HORSE Mill Road Husborne Crawley, Beds Tel: 01525 280565 FREE WI-FI

‘JAZZY JAM’ - (JAZZ NIGHT) Every other Tuesday - June 10th then 24th

FOOD SERVED Lunch: Tuesday - Sunday 12.00 - 2.00 Evening: Tuesday - Saturday 6.30 - 8.30

MUSIC ON FRIDAY NIGHTS BREAKFAST CLUB First Sunday of each month 10.00 - 11.30

STEAK NIGHTS Last Wednesday of each month.

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Page 28

With Alan Reader

Fully Qualified Fully Insured 10 years Salon Experience

Cuts •Colours• Blowdrys •Hair Up Ladies• Gents •Children

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Agenda: Male, female Approach: computer program about fish Assess: female donkey Audit: nearly a German sports car Antimony: in favour of bartering Aromatic: a crafty device used by Robin Hood Arcade: what Noah served aboard ship?

Abundance: a baker's ball Absinthe: makes the heart grow fonder Abstain: a mark across one's belly Accent: perfume for an axe Access: a female axe Accrue: people who work on a ship

with Auntie Vi Don’t let aging get you down. It’s too hard to get back up.

Don’t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

Adamant: the very first insect Admire: overwhelmed in advertising Admit: fingerless glove for handing out leaflets Adultery: a fully grown tree Aerofoil: what silver planes are wrapped in Aerobics : ball point pens for use when flying Ampere: announcer at an electric show Ampersand: grit that gets in your picnic basket Animate: one's cartoon character friend Antelope: to run away with your mother's sister Antimacassar: my mother's sister who's Scottish ‘Bing!’

Greetings to G.G.!!

The Wingfield With Lauren Louella Boughalls A very cheery June welcome to everybody! Thanks very much to everyone who had a go at last monthâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s picture poser!

Congratulations to Mr Honky Tonk, Roy, Bob, Ian, Joe, Sue, Michael and everybody else who correctly identified the photograph as the bridge over the river Flit at Greenfield Road, Flitwick.

Now hereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a tricky little puzzle for this monthâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s poser!

Once again we have been scouring the towns and villages in Fuddlerland looking for something a little unusual.

This month we came across this rather splendid looking well and couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t resist bringing a photograph of it to you!

But do you recognise it and where it could be?

If you think you know drop us an email to martin@thefuddler.com Answer next month!

Page 29

Club

37 Church St, Ampthill MK45 2PL Office: 01525 841736 - Bar: 01525 403321 Private members club affiliated to CIU Mon - Thurs 12 - 3pm & 7 to11pm Fri & Sat 12 to 11:30pm - Sun 12 to 11pm

:RUOG &XS /LYH

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Beers from ÂŁ2.70 House Doubles ÂŁ2.20 Fine Wines ÂŁ2.80 5HDO $OHV DOO ÂŁ2.70 Open days non members welcome

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Page 30

Here we delve more into the whimsical, wacky and interesting world of Montgolfier:

Receive sms

message co your booking nfirming the evening befor e you travel.

Quite a lot of the yellow flowers you see growing along the roads is not ragwort but is tansy. They both grow to the same height in the months June to September. They look alike but tansy has a denser head and the leaves are a bit more fern like.

The most colourful thing in our garden recently is a large rose bush called Canary Bird - it has over 1,000 yellow flowers varying from 1 inch to 2 inches across.

Some 53 million ÂŁ50 notes that are in circulation are to be withdrawn. I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have any now, but a couple of weeks ago I was given 14 as payment for something I had bought at a local car boot sale for just ÂŁ4.00.

My partner just said that when her brother was a wee lad and was going fishing early morning he would tie a piece of string to his big toe and hang the string out of the bedroom window for his mates to pull.

A politician came to a village hall to give a talk. After a while he called â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Can you hear me all right at the back?â&#x20AC;&#x2122; One man said â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;No.â&#x20AC;&#x2122; A man in the front row said â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll go and change places with him.â&#x20AC;&#x2122; Driving along I thought that looks like a huge nest in a tree. I stopped to check and found it was s huge black bear. It had climbed up 25 feet of trunk then onto the end of a branch where it just sat and looked as thought it was waiting for a bowl of porridge. I remember once being told that if you get chased by a bar somewhere like Canada, run downhill as bears canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t.

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Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com

Page 31

Martin Smith Builders Fully qualified & established for over 27 years

G. LAWSON FLOORING (Locally based)

01525 860996 Mobile: 077686 40500

All types of flooring undertaken including

Email: martin.smith52@aol.com

CARPETS / WOODS AND LAMINATES

Extensions x Refurbishments x Complete kitchen & bathroom service x

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brickwork x Block paved drives x All work guaranteed

All aspects of building work undertaken Quality workmanship Free estimates

Confessions of a Dog Walker Episode 5: Small is Beautiful ....cont’d from last month

I arrived at the top floor apartment, where I was to collect Nutmeg and take him on his first half hour walk.

He reacted as I had expected by growling in reluctant anticipation of his walk with this disagreeable new walker.

He made a right fuss whilst I was trying to put his minute harness on and to cap it all he had a pink suede coat with little studs all around the edges and stamped with a little paw print in the corner.

This was not going to be an

Your

enjoyable relationship for either of us.

I had not walked to the park via this route before, as it was at the opposite end of Maida Vale, and the only access to the park was along a crescent and a line of 4 storey Georgian terraces that had been turned into flats, that was having a complete refurbishment of the exterior.

As I made my way along the path I could see a large group of builders and scaffolders sitting on the wall.

At this particular time it was apparently their tea-break and they looked at me and Nutmeg in quiet bemusement. Nutmeg took it upon himself to make the most of this opportunity and used the lamppost right in front of a group of very burly

KARNDEAN / VINYLS (Including wet rooms) CERAMICS AND NATURAL STONE Supply and fit or fit only service available

Tel: 07595 474675 builders. As I hurriedly encouraged Nutmeg to speed things up and turned the corner into the park entrance I could hear the giggling coming from the workmen.

At least in half an hour they would be back to work.

After Nutmeg’s walk round the park, in which I was constantly reminded that “oh how cute” he was, and “arrr, isn’t he lovely”. I cautiously rounded the bend into the crescent where the builders had been, and was pleasantly surprised to survive the walk up to Nutmeg’s flat with only just one wolf whistle from some humorous character who must have spotted us from the scaffolding.

I looked forward begrudgingly to our next appointment that very

afternoon. Whilst I was on the bus to Maida Vale for my second instalment in the Nutmeg affair, I muddled over in my mind the builders daily routine and decided that at the time, about 3.15 pm, they would surely not be on their lunch or afternoon tea break, but as we turned the corner my heart sank as I saw the unmistaken sight of a row of white safety helmets and yellow hi-vis waist coated sun-tanned figures sitting on the wall again. “Blast” I said not so quietly to myself and a look of smugness appeared on Nutmeg’s expression. .................to be continued

Happy 40th for the 1st June to Dammo from the Ampthill Vets

Local Carpet and Upholstery Cleaning Service

‘Providing a Hassle

Free

service from our professional and friendly cleaners’

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When you advertise in The Fuddler - you’re online too at www.thefuddler.com!

Page 32

Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t worry if you missed an issue - you can catch up at www.thefuddler.com