The Miscellany News | April 22

The Miscellany News Since 1866 | miscellanynews.com

April 22, 2010

Vassar College Poughkeepsie, NY

Volume CXLIII | Issue 21

Executive Board hopefuls debate VSA goals, plans Angela Aiuto

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flickr.com Eric H. Holder, Jr., pictured above, was sworn in as the Attorney General of the United States on Feb. 3, 2009. Holder will present a lecture entitled “On Public Service and the Common Good” to the Vassar community today at 5 p.m. in the Chapel.

Eric Holder to give lecture U.S. Attorney General to make special visit to Vassar’s campus Matthew Brock

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Senior Editor

oday, April 22, Vassar will host the Attorney General of the United States Eric H. Holder, Jr., who will give an address entitled

“On Public Service and the Common Good” in the Vassar Chapel at 5 p.m. “[Holder] will be coming to talk about public service and the reasons and benefits of getting involved,”

College to allow test prep firms Matthew Brock Senior Editor

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Are unpaid summer internships fair?

Kelly Stout

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NEWS

Features Editor

y late April, many Vassar students have begun solidifying their summer plans. For students, the pressure may be on to find summer internships, but recent legal buzz in articles in The New York Times and

other publications in early April has put pressure on firms and programs hiring unpaid interns, leading some at Vassar and throughout the country to question the fairness of internships that cannot offer compensation. For Vassar students, summer financial obligations often figure into

summer planning, proving that the Vassar community is by no means exempt from the dilemmas unpaid summer employment presents.

“I have been screaming about this for years,” said Director of Career Development Mary Raymond, expressing her anger at the ability for

employers to hire summer interns without pay. She continued, “It is an abuse of student talent.”

According to Raymond, summer internships that offer no compensation to participants raise serious questions about socio-economic See INTERNSHIPS on page 5

ViCE to add Band Union to its board Rachael Borné

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Reporter

eed an accordion-playing harpist-drummer who is into Afrofunk, trip-hop, blues and ska?

Well, believe it or not, the Vassar Student Band Union (VSBU) probably has just want you’re looking for, plus a whole lot more.

With its growing online database of enthusiastic and talented musicians, not to mention its recent fusion with Vassar College Entertainment (ViCE) After Hours, one thing is for sure—the Union is ready to make like Spinal Tap and take the band scene at Vassar up to eleven.

“We’ve already gotten a lot of people interested and helping each other out with gigs, playing, collaborating, advertising, and all

Inside this issue

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Although the attorney general has lectured on this issue before, this particular speech will be geared towards the Vassar community and the unique service See HOLDER on page 3

he candidates running the Vassar Student Association (VSA) Executive Board debated each other this past Tuesday, April 20, on the second floor of the Students Building. The event was moderated by incoming Miscellany News Editor-inChief Molly Turpin.

A majority of the questions were directed toward the four candidates for VSA President: Elizabeth Anderson ’11, Mat Leonard ’11, Stephanie DamonMoore ’11 and Benjamin Reichman ’11. Questions generally focused on the role of the VSA as a body, and of the VSA president in particular, in discussing and deciding the outcome of contentious campus issues.

Anderson stressed the importance of soliciting student opinion in order to effectively address issues that are important to students, and resolve them in a manner that is aligned with the larger student opinion.

“I think it’s really important that we continue to ask for feedback from dorms, class councils, and the general student body,” she said.

Leonard agreed, adding that the VSA President does not vote on Council, but instead breaks ties. In which case, he argued, “You have to draw the line when you know that there’s something that can thoroughly benefit the students…and the world.”

Damon-Moore shared that sentiment, stating that while she placed primary importance on student opinion, should she be elected it would be a vote of confidence in her judgment.

Reichman disagreed, however. “[The VSA] does have an obligation to represent its constituencies, but I think the VSA should be tasked with acting as conscious moral actors in the Vassar community.”

Campus controversies were also the focus of questions directed toward candidates for See DEBATE on page 4

Vassar to begin new Zip Car program starting this fall

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FEATURES

that goes with music and performance,” said one of the Union’s co-founders, Andy Dymond ’12.

Ben Conant ’12, the other founder of the group, got the idea from friend, former roommate and fellow musician Sam Caravaglia ’12. “[Caravaglia] realized that there were a lot of campus bands and only two organizations to book them—VCPunx and After Hours,” explained Conant.

VCPunx tends to be fairly genre specific, drawing mostly offcampus hardcore, metal or punk bands, and After Hours usually showcases singer-songwriters.

VSBU plans to provide an outlet for all other musicians on campus: “Most student bands play accessible, pop music that’s easy to dance See BAND UNION on page 14

Vassar students complete the 2010 US Census

Madeline Zappala/The Miscellany News

ext year, students will likely have the option to take preparatory courses for graduate school exams on campus. As of April 20, the Committee on College Life (CCL) is still considering the proposal but appears to be in favor of passing it.

According to Senior Associate Dean of the College Raymon Parker, who brought the new policy before the Committee, CCL originally decided to ban test prep courses several years ago “because they felt that their services weren’t equally available to everyone,” due to the fact that not all students could afford to take the courses.

Having test prep courses on campus violates Vassar’s philosophical views, said Parker, because, with the courses, “students could buy higher scores.”

However, Vassar Student Association (VSA) Vice President for Operations Brian Farkas ’10 believes that this policy stemmed from an anti-corporate attitude, in which “we didn’t want to invite for-profit corporations to our ivory tower educational environment.”

According to Director of Career See TEST PREP on page 4

said Press Secretary Hannah August, his spokesperson. “It’s something that the attorney general has spoken about before and something that is really important to him,” she continued.

Senior Editor

Zach Huckel-Bauer ’10 performed the opening act at a recent Vassar Student Band Union and Democracy Matters concert at Babycakes café on Thursday, April 8.

14 ARTS

ViCE concert: Dancing with the Flaming Lips

The Miscellany News

Page 2

April 22, 2010

Editor in Chief Ruby Cramer Molly Turpin Senior Editor

Angela Aiuto Matthew Brock

Contributing Editors Caitlin Halasz Chloe McConnell Elizabeth Pacheco Lila Teeters

News Features Opinions Arts Sports

Katie De Heras/The Miscellany News

Photo of the Week: Wayne Coyne, lead singer for The Flaming Lips, begins ViCE’s Civic Center concert on Saturday, April 17.

Miscellany News Staff Editorial

Voting is a vital part of student self governance I

n this upcoming Vassar Student Association (VSA) election, students must be active participants in student government.

Each student has his or her own views on the current strengths and weaknesses of the College and the VSA, and has the opportunity to shape the future of the College through his or her vote. Whether you are an ardent supporter of the VSA, or skeptical of its efforts, it is vital that you participate in this week’s election, so that your governing body be reflective of the entire campus.

The VSA tackles problems and achieves initiatives that greatly affect the lives of students; therefore, electing candidates whom students believe best embody their ideas of leadership and seek to foster their vision of Vassar’s future is of the utmost importance.

This year alone, the VSA produced an indepth review into the Office of International Programs after students voiced concerns about the application procedures for studying abroad; they published “Vassar Security Frequently Asked Questions” in response to students’ requests for answers to their queries about security procedures and policies; they endorsed the initial proposal that would later grant academic credit to varsity athletes; and they updated the campaign bylaws to allow students running for office to take advantage of new technologies. From this list alone, it is clear that the VSA considers student opinion during the year as well as in the campaigning process.

Furthermore, not only will students be voting for VSA Council members, but also for candidates in joint committees, a vital part of college life for students. These committees work directly with the administration to recommend changes to Vassar’s policies; it is one of the greatest sources of power for

students to voice and implement their desired changes in the future of the College.

If students felt that the VSA did not express their views enough to the administration this year, they should attentively analyze the can-

“Whether you are an ardent supporter of the VSA, or skeptical of its efforts, it is vital that you participate in this week’s election”

didates for these positions, as these are the representatives who will be dealing directly with the upper echelons of the College to stand up for student views. Reviewing every candidate’s statement to find those who students think will represent their ideas as a Vassar student most faithfully and strongly to the administration is essential, and is the duty of any student who is an active participant in his or her campus’ community.

Complaints of the VSA being detached from the student body have been a troubling undercurrent of student life this past academic year and always, leading to many

students reporting feelings of alienation in Vassar’s community. Now is the time for all students who have had complaints—as well as those who haven’t—to participate in the upcoming VSA election to mold student governance to their ideal. If students who do not vote complain about the lack of proper representation, it should weigh heavily upon them that they passed up their chance to make changes. Each vote is powerful, and gives students a voice in the many proposals, changes and conflicts the VSA and the College inevitably encounter each year.

So please, carefully read each candidate’s statement with an open mind, but also focus on finding a candidate who shares your vision for the College’s future and best upholds your own leadership ideals. Even with candidates running unopposed, see what their vision entails and get to know who will be representing you next year. Students must also remember to stay involved after elections.

Even if you vote for the person you most agree with, you must ensure that they hear your perspectives on the College. We at The Miscellany News urge all students to have a stake in how the VSA will change student life and help create Vassar’s future by voting on Wednesday, April 23, at 3 p.m.

—The Staff Editorial reflects the opinion of at least two-thirds of the 21-member Editorial Board.

EDITOR’S NOTE On April 14, the Editorial Board elected its Fall 2010 Executive Staff. Molly Turpin will serve as Editor in Chief. Angela Aiuto and Matthew Brock will serve as Senior Editors. Lila Teeters will serve as Contributing Editor. Together, the incoming Executive Staff will lead The Miscellany News through its 144th year of publication as Vassar College’s newspaper of record.

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

Design Copy Photography Online Managing

Jillian Scharr Kelly Stout Kelly Shortridge Carrie Hojnicki Erik Lorenzsonn Mitchell Gilburne Andy Marmer Eric Estes Katie Cornish Kathleen Mehocic Elizabeth Jordan Eliza Hartley

Assistant News Caitlin Clevenger Aashim Usgaonkar Assistant Features Daniel Combs Danielle Gensburg Assistant Opinions Alanna Okun Joshua Rosen Assistant Online Kara Voght Assistant Copy Katharine Austin Sammy Creath Sarah Marco Gretchen Maslin Assistant Photo Juliana Halpert Crossword Editor Jonathan Garfinkel Reporters Thea Ballard Matthew Bock Rachael Borné Esther Clowney David Lopez Christie Musket Danielle Nedivi Xiaoyuan Ren Alexandra Sarrigeorgiou Columnists Martin Bergman Steve Keller Nate Silver Nik Trkulja Photographers Patricia Cruz Gabriel Kelly-Ramirez Jared Saunders LETTERS POLICY

The Miscellany News is Vassar College’s weekly open forum for discussion of campus, local and national issues, and welcomes letters and opinions submissions from all readers. Letters to the Editor should not exceed 450 words, and they usually respond to a particular item or debate from the previous week’s issue. Opinions articles are longer pieces, up to 800 words, and take the form of a longer column. No letter or opinions article may be printed anonymously. If you are interested in contributing, e-mail misc@vassar.edu.

The Editorial Board holds weekly meetings every Sunday at 9 p.m. in the Rose Parlor. All members of the Vassar community interested in joining the newspaper’s staff or in a critique of the current issue are welcome. The Miscellany News is not responsible for the views presented in the Opinions pages. The weekly staff editorial is the only article which reflects the opinion of the Editorial Board. The Miscellany News is published weekly by the students of Vassar College. The Miscellany News office is located in College Center Room 303, Vassar College.

April 22, 2010

NEWS

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VSA endorses FAQs about Security’s role Caitlin Clevenger

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New heights in the Windy City Two male students were found on the roof of Chicago Hall on the night of April 16. When the students saw Security officers approach, they attempted to run but were caught and informed that the roof is dangerous.

—C.C.

Tour de Vassar

security.vassar.edu

should not be in conflict with either the proposed policy or the current Handbook. Said Schmidt, “The FAQs are not protocol, and they are not college regulations. They are just a guideline to what usually happens.” The FAQs will include a disclaimer to this effect, stating that, “context and discretion may impact student conduct procedures.”

Though the Student Handbook and the Residential Life Guide give some information about what students can expect in situations with Security, the Student Life Committee has found it to be written in confusing language.

“People don’t use the Handbook,” said Schmidt, “We want this to be accessible to students and we want people to refer to it.” The FAQs are primarily designed to help students advocate for themselves and their rights in interactions with Security, so it is important that “the document is student driven, and not supposed to come from administrators,” according to Anderson.

Despite the VSA’s effort to coordinate answers from different administrators, not everyone has approved it. Horowitz expressed his concern in an e-mailed statement: “The orien-

tation of the FAQs includes strongly downplaying that there are some real limitations with regards to behavior in order to be part of the Vassar community. This reality shouldn’t be ignored as it’s an important part of the context.”

The FAQs can still be seen as undermining the Security Department by encouraging students to take advantage of the Department’s procedures, as well as being inaccurate about the amount of discretion Security officers have in individual situations. Horowitz proposed a number of changes to the FAQs that were largely rejected by the VSA. According to Noyes House President Hannah Groch-Begley ’12 at Sunday’s Council meeting, “[It] would be in no way helpful for students if we included [his] revisions.”

The FAQs will be available soon on the VSA website. The Student Life Committee hopes to have the document included in the Residential Life Guide and used during house team training. The document may be particularly relevant to incoming freshmen, those least familiar with their rights as students, and to student fellows, who are relied on to answer Security-related questions.

Holder to speak on public service

At 1:18 a.m. on the morning of April 17, a Security officer on patrol saw three non-students riding bikes on campus.

The three had been seen earlier without bikes, so the officer attempted to stop the teenagers. All three ran into the woods when approached and left the bicycles.

The teenagers have since been identified and given trespassing warnings. —C.C.

Prospie pilfered On April 18, a prospective student staying overnight on campus found that someone had entered the room she was staying in and stolen $160 from her luggage. —C.C.

Smells like teen spirit Three male teenagers have been reported several times for causing havoc while biking and skateboarding on campus.

On April 18, one of the three pretended to have been hit by a car driven by a student while the others prevented the driver from moving the car.

—C.C.

Indecent exposure A student was approached on Monday evening, April 19, by two suspicious individuals selling cameras from a backpack. The individuals were later spotted near campus and apprehended by the Dutchess County Sheriff’s Department.

—C.C.

Thwarted thieves On April 19, two men from Poughkeepsie were arrested for thefts at the Thompson Memorial Library of over $5,000 in cash and valuables. Two laptops and two wallets were recovered, and the suspects are facing felony charges. The investigation was jointly conducted by Vassar Security Department and the Town of Poughkeepsie Police Department.

—C.C.

VSA endorses SAVP and Sustainability Proposals

flickr.com

HOLDER continued from page 1 programs on campus, said the Attorney General’s Press Assistant Ross Weingarten ’07.

Holder is coming to Vassar thanks to the efforts of United States District Court Judge Richard Roberts ’74, a former member of the Vassar Board of Trustees and close friend of the attorney general. “[Roberts] encouraged us to pursue this, and he facilitated the communications,” said Director of Development for Regional Programming John Mihaly, who is overseeing the event. “We were just lucky that we have friends in high places and that he’s interested in doing this,” he continued.

Roberts will also be moderating the question and answer session after the debate, said August. Professors, mainly from Political Science, History and other related departments solicited questions from their students over the past week and submitted them to Roberts, who will select the final list.

Prior to giving his main lecture, Holder will meet with local high school students and their teachers for what August termed an “informal” question and answer session. “He meets with students of all ages, and has three kids himself,” she said.

Holder previously served as deputy attorney general under former Attorney General Janet Reno during the last three years of former President William Clinton’s administration.

During his tenure as deputy attorney general, Holder is noted for recommending the pardon of three members of the Boricua Popular Army, a Puerto Rican terrorist group. This

Taking a stand Sometime last week, a newly refurbished podium was reported stolen from Rockefeller Hall 300. The Security Department has called for the podium to be returned, no questions asked.

—Caitlin Clevenger, Assistant News Editor

Assistant News Editor

he Vassar Student Association (VSA) voted this past Sunday to endorse a set of frequently asked questions (FAQs) about students’ rights and the general practices of Security Department and the Office of Residential Life.

The Student Life Committee entered the 2009-2010 year after finding that during leader training and orientation, both students and members of the Security Department were unclear about the way officers operated under certain circumstances. “We agreed that the Student Life Committee wanted to work on transparency between students and Security,” said VSA Vice President for Student Life Liz Anderson ’11.

The document addresses 21 questions collected in the Fall 2009 semester by the VSA Student Life Committee and the Board of House Presidents from their constituents. The answers were put together in cooperation with the directors and associate directors of the Security Department and Office of Residential Life.

Though the VSA first thought the document would be a short-term project, the FAQs became a six-month endeavor as the Student Life Committee struggled to reconcile the answers of Director of Security Donald Marsala and Associate Director of Security Kim Squillace with those of Director of Residential Life Luis Inoa and Associate Director of Residential Life Richard Horowitz. Some questions, especially those pertaining to when Security officers can enter a student’s room, were points of contention among those working on the project.

“They were more extensive and important issues than we had originally anticipated,” said Lathrop House President Zan Schmidt ’12.

One unexpected consequence of the process was transparency—not just between Security officers and students, but also between the Offices of Security and Residential Life. In the course of the project, Anderson discovered that “there wasn’t that much communication between Security and Residential Life. [The FAQs] got them in the same room together thinking...it was probably a good learning experience for the Offices.”

The Board of House Presidents is currently working on creating a room entry policy to be included in the Vassar Student Handbook that will clarify the current policy, but the FAQs

News Briefs

Eric H. Holder, Jr., pictured above, previously served as deputy attorney general under former Attorney General Janet Reno during former President of the United States William Clinton’s administration. case was unusual in that these terrorists were not required to repudiate their actions or divulge any information in exchange for the pardon.

Although these pardons raised some eyebrows during Holder’s confirmation hearings, he was ultimately approved by Congress for the position of attorney general last year.

As attorney general, Holder opposes many of former President George W. Bush policies

carried out under the Patriot Act, including conducting electronic surveillance without a warrant, interning prisoners at Guantanamo Bay and waterboarding, although the Obama administration has yet to repeal any of these policies.

For students, faculty or staff who do not yet have tickets to the lecture, tickets will be available at the Campus Activities Office Info Desk until they sell out.

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

On Sunday, April 18, the Vassar Student Association (VSA) Council unanimously endorsed the Sustainability Proposal and the Sexual Assault Violence Prevention (SAVP) Coordinator Proposal.

The former asks for a movement of $500 from the Council’s Great Works Fund and the latter asks for the VSA’s endorsement on a proposal to Vassar’s administration that calls for the establishment of a new position entitled the SAVP coordinator, who will, according the Proposal, “[create] one central person whose sole mission it is to provide services, proactive and reactive, in areas of interpersonal violence.”

An SAVP coordinator would cost the College $35,000 for compensation of this new employee, and about $20,000 in administrative costs associated with the hiring. Vassar College employed a SAVP counselor until Spring 2009 when the Office of Health Education Department of Justice Grant for the Prevention of Violence Against Women expired.

While endorsed by the VSA, the ultimate outcome of the Proposal will have to pass, first, the Office of Health Education, the Office of the President and, ultimately, the Board of Trustees.

—Aashim Usgaonkar, Assistant News Editor

NEWS

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April 22, 2010

Vassar to introduce Zip Cars Xiaoyuan Ren Juliana Halpert/The Miscellany News

Stephanie Damon-Moore ’11, Mathew Leonard ’11, Liz Anderson ’11 and Ben Reichman ’11 field questions about goals during the Vassar Student Association Executive Board Debate.

Candidates field questions DEBATE continued from page 1 Vice President for Student Life Erin Clarke ’11, Daryl Duran ’12 and Syed Samin Shehab ’11. Duran stressed the importance of social consciousness at Vassar, claiming that he would like to develop a program to deal with any racial and gender issues that arise.

In comparison, Shehab stressed the importance of utilizing house presidents, the house fellow program as well as affected student organizations to generate dialogue. Clarke suggested instituting a series of events similar to the LGBTQ Center’s Fruit Salad in order to encourage dialogue and understanding.

Another source of contention has been the economy; candidates for Vice President for Finance Elizabeth Boateng ’11, Louise Conner ’11 and Travis Edwards ’12 were asked how they planned to allocate a strained budget. Each candidate emphasized fundraising and event collaboration.

However, Boateng recognized that difficult choices would need to be made: “We need to make sure that we’re funding things that are need and not things that organizations feel that they want.” Edwards was of

a similar mind, saying he hoped to develop a clearer definition of what a “need” is.

Candidate for Vice President for Academics Laura Riker ’11 and candidate for Vice President for Operations Ruby Cramer ’12 are both running unopposed. Riker stressed the importance of maintaining a diverse curriculum and utilizing majors committees to solicit student opinion. Cramer explained that she hopes to incorporate more alumnae/i into campus events so that students would be more willing to use them as a resource.

Tanay Tatum ’12, a candidate for Vice President for Activities, also expressed that she would like to increase alumni involvement in campus programming. Her sole opponent, Michael Longue ’12, proved himself to be stiff competition, promising to students, “My vomit is no less pungent than the vomit of my opponent…I’m going to vomit on your behalf.” Longue later offered a more palatable idea: a cookout on the quad for employees of the ACDC and Retreat and their families.

Voting began on Wednesday, April 21 and will continue through Friday at 6 p.m.

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tarting next semester, students will be able to rent cars through the College via Zipcar, an independently contracted car rental company that often works with colleges. The program was proposed in consideration of students’ and employees’ transportation needs.

“We have vans and cars available for student organizations to use and for field work students,” said Associate Director of Security and Transportation Director Dennis Cody, continuing, “Our present student body registers about 800 vehicles per academic year, which leaves a considerable number of students on campus without a vehicle to use...[We want] to provide students without personally owned vehicles the availability to rent a small size passenger car if the need arises where they want to leave campus for a personal trip to the mall or to just check out the local area or visit local attractions.”

“This adds to our diversity of transportation options on campus and joins our shuttle service to assist students in their efforts to take advantage of the Hudson Valley and surrounding areas,” wrote Dean of the College Christopher Roellke in an emailed statement, expressing his anticipation of this new system.

Zipcars are also more environmentally friendly as they serve as a variation of public transportation. “The overall objective by the College is to lessen the number of student vehicles on campus by making these vehicles available to the entire student population,” said Cody.

Students also express anticipation regarding the program. “Many students don’t want the hassle of bringing a car to campus, since Vassar is a largely pedestrian community,” said Vassar Student Association Vice President for Operation Brian Farkas ’10. “Still, some would like to drive to specific conferences or competitions on one or two occasions each semester. Without having to worry about parking or maintenance, these Zipcars will allow Vassar students to have the best of both worlds.”

The program has been discussed for the past two years, but because of Zipcar’s expensive initial fees, the College could not afford the program.

Test prep policy revoked TEST PREP continued from page 1 Development Mary Raymond, “This attitude is pervasive with all small liberal arts colleges.”

Raymond previously worked at Sarah Lawrence College, where she helped introduce these courses to the campus. However, when she came to Vassar she found the College particularly resistant to the idea.

Because of this policy, students are forced to travel long distances to take prep courses, or to fit them in on vacations or over the summer, according to VSA Vice President for Student Life Liz Anderson ’11, who sits on CCL. According to Anderson, the current policy gives students who have cars a distinct advantage over those without cars because they can drive to the course locations.

The College does offer practice tests on campus through the Learning and Teaching Center, said Anderson, and according to Raymond, most students who want to take the courses eventually manage to do so.

Furthermore, this policy places Vassar students at a disadvantage compared to students who attend schools that offer the courses on campus. “Everyone else does it…we are a huge outlier,” said Farkas. “It puts us at a detriment because everyone else offers it and we don’t and because we’re not near a huge urban area where students can take these courses,” he continued.

“For us, we had to buy books and suffer for hours trying to figure it out on our own,” concluded Farkas.

“There’s a difference between some students having an advantage over other students here and all students having a disadvantage in the general applicant pool,” said Anderson.

However, according to Parker, this was not a concern. “Just because other schools don’t have a philosophical problem [with the courses] doesn’t mean that we should offer them,” he said.

That said, Farkas feels that test prep courses have become too important for these philosophical concerns. “These courses changed from something for the elite to something that everyone has to do,” he said.

“It’s just fair, and we should do everything we can to help our students succeed, and if that means bringing these companies to campus, then I’m fine with it,” said Raymond.

Beyond conveniencing students, allowing test prep companies on campus will provide a revenue stream for the College because the company will have to rent a classroom.

According to Parker, “The goal is to use the revenue to help students who cannot afford the courses.” However, the specifics of this program have not yet been fully worked out.

For instance, Vassar could use the money to discount the course for qualified students, or it could give the company rooms for free in exchange for the company providing free courses to a certain number of students.

Although test prep companies are always interested in offering courses at a new school, thus expanding their market, the College only wants to bring one company to campus.

“There’s no sense in several companies offering the same product,” said Parker.

According to Anderson, there is some disagreement over whether to bring in a well-known company such as Kaplan or the Princeton Review, or to bring in a local, alternative course.

“They didn’t want big names coming in and taking over,” said Anderson. Although the specifics have not yet been worked out, according to Raymond, when she worked at Sarah Lawrence, the test prep companies would each set up tables at the College each year, and they would hire whichever company enrolled the most students. Anderson, however, suspects that the College will most likely see the presence of larger firms as opposed to local, smaller ones.

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

However, this year, Zipcar waived the startup fee normally charged to colleges as part of an attempt to promote its business.

“Zipcar has programs at more than 120 colleges and universities across the country,” according to Zipcar representative James Quick. “We’re pleased to be partnering with Vassar on this exciting program to bring economical and environmentally friendly transportation options to campus.”

The rental system will start operating over the summer. According to Cody, all rental details take place directly between the Zipcar program and the student or staff employee who has to register an account on the Zipcar website.

“By registering and having been acknowledged

by Zipcar as part of the Vassar Community via the 999 ID number, the prospective driver will now be able to go online with the company and make a reservation to use a vehicle for a set time and date,” said Cody; suggesting that interested students “go online directly to find out the requirements needed and the cost factors.”

According to the Zipcar’s rates and plans for colleges, there is a $35 one-time application fee, and for each rental period there will be an $8 per hour usage fee with a maximum charge of $66 per 24 hour time period. Also, insurance and gas for the first 180 miles are free, with a charge of $0.45 per mile thereafter.

“We will start our program off with two cars that will be located in established parking spots in North Lot. All drivers will pick up their reserved car from this location and return them to this location after usage,” said Cody. Students will be able to join Zipcar online starting June 1.

“The Zipcar program is most beneficial to those students who have no individual means of transportation on campus,” said Cody. Financially speaking, it is cheaper to use the Zipcar program than to buy your own vehicle, pay insurance, gas and maintenance each month.” Financial comparisons are also offered on the Zipcar website.

Students will soon be receiving more information on the new Zipcar system. “We anticipate some Internet promotional e-mails to all students before they go home for summer break so they can discuss the program with their parents for the next academic year,” said Cody.

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April 22, 2010

FEATURES

Page 5

Brief history of a day that’s all too brief Matthew Bock Reporter

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Molly Turpin

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here’s a day in the springtime As the campus knows well When the book is laid upon the shelf And silent’s the bell.”

—Founder’s Day traditional song, as quoted from the Vassar Encyclopedia The campus does know well, indeed.

Founder’s Day—the annual celebration of Founder of the College Matthew Vassar’s birthday—takes place on Ballantine Field on the first Saturday in May. Members of the Vassar community and beyond congregate for food, music, rides and, for those of legal drinking age, beer—a celebration of Matthew Vassar’s professional life as a brewer through abundant beer drinking.

However, the event has changed significantly since its 1866 inception. The first Founder’s Day, a surprise birthday for Matthew Vassar, took place in Main Building and featured piano solos, lectures, poetry readings and close conversation between faculty and students.

According to the Vassar Encyclopedia, Vassar was so excited by this surprise celebration that, with tears in his eyes, he exclaimed, “This one event has paid me for every cent I have spent for the College!”

In the years following Vassar’s death, students grew tired of the event’s predictable festivities, which, according to a 1915 issue of The Miscellany News as cited by the Vassar Encyclopedia, “lacked the spontaneity inspired by [Matthew Vassar’s] presence.” In the spirit of reinvention, the College established a committee in the 1920s to make the event more exciting. The Founder’s Day Committee has been responsible—with varying degrees of administrative involvement over the years—for the evolution of the celebration from the intimate gathering of the late 1800s to what it is today. It is now divided into five subcommittees responsible for food and beer, rides, decorations, music and merchandise. Associate Director of Campus Activities Michelle Ransom serves as the Committee’s current adviser.

Students celebrate Founder’s Day in the spring of 2000. This year, the Founder’s Day Committee is chaired by Olivia Mak ’10, Andrew Chang ’10 and Desislava Simeonova ’11. The theme is Nintendo.

One of the greatest changes that resulted from the formation of the Committee was the inclusion of an annual Founder’s Day theme.

This year’s theme is ’90s Nickelodeon, which is sure to bring back childhood memories.

“We are focusing on the Nickelodeon from our childhoods,” Committee member Sarah Potts ’10 explained in an e-mailed statement, “Rugrats, Doug, Hey! Arnold and the like.”

Themes of recent years have included Nintendo and Candy Land, while notable themes from Founder’s Days of long ago have included 1988’s “Matt to the Future” (a pun on the popular film Back to the Future) and 1948’s “Fedora Day.” Committee Chairs Olivia Mak ’10, Andrew Chang ’10 and Desislava Simeonova ’11 explained the theme selection process in a joint e-mailed statement: “We sent out a campuswide e-mail asking for suggestions. After compiling the list, we put them on an online survey. Then we took the top five themes from this survey and created another survey. The reason we had people vote among the top five again was because there wasn’t a distinct win-

ner from the first survey. Over 1,800 students voted, and ’90s Nickelodeon won first place.”

In terms of music: “Josh Sturm [’11] and Movement will be student performers. Jel, Odd Nosdam, Edan and Paten Locke will be hip-hop performers, DJ/rupture the electronica performer and The Walkmen will be headliners. Jahdan Blakkmoore is special guest emcee.”

Mak, Chang and Simeonova report that planning for the event is going smoothly despite the financial difficulties facing the College, and are anticipating a large turn out.

However, disproving conventional wisdom that the entire College turns up for the event, planners “expect at least half of the campus, roughly 1,200 people, to show up. That’s not including alums, faculty members and their families, and people from the local area.”

“We are in crunch time right now,” they said, “but we are on track with our timeline.

We expect to have all unfinished planning settled by the end of next week.” The Committee will be tabling merchandise for sale this week in the College Center.

Interns seek summer funding grants INTERNSHIPS continued from page 1 equity. In Raymond’s opinion, students who come from wealthy families do have an advantage in the job market in an invisible way.

The problem is that although a degree from Vassar is attractive to employers on its own, experience matters too, and for many students, unpaid work is financially prohibitive. This leads to “blank spots” on their resumes when it comes time to interview for jobs after graduation, emphasized Raymond.

The issue is far reaching, she said, because in the long run, “People who are doing these jobs [that require unpaid internship experience] are people who come from means.”

Raymond called this “a discrepancy in the Vassar education.”

Additionally, some firms, companies and agencies run internships that require students to obtain course credit to participate because it exempts them from having to pay students, since students cannot double-dip and receive both compensation and credit.

According to Raymond, this is to the unfair advantage of the employers and to the disadvantage of students who cannot afford to work without pay.

According to Director of Financial Aid Michael Fraher, approximately 56 percent of Vassar students are currently receiving financial assistance from the College, but this figure does not include students receiving scholarships that come from outside sources.

As part of every student’s financial aid package, there is an expected summer savings contribution that requires students to make some income over the summer. In the vast majority of cases, students cannot be exempt from this expectation unless they encounter a medical or similar personal emergency. According to Fraher, Vassar financial aid packages cannot be adjusted to

40% of Vassar students turn in 2010 census

take unpaid summer work into account.

The maximum a third-year student can receive in federal loans is $7,500, and Vassar uses no more than $5,500 of this loan eligibility to cover the total cost for a student to attend Vassar. This leaves $2,000 for eligible students that they may use to cover anything from household expenses to summer internships. However, Fraher could not say whether Vassar students routinely do this.

Nor could he recommend it. According to Fraher, students who want to take part in unpaid summer work are in a financial bind.

In large part due to budget constraints, the Office of Financial Aid does not give financial aid for summer work. Said Fraher, “We’d love to be in a position to help with that, but we’re not.”

This is part of the reason why the Career Development Office developed the Internship Grant Fund in 2008, which gives students grants to support unpaid summer internships, but cannot be used for students’ summer contributions to their financial aid packages. Students may apply to the alumnae/i-supported fund every spring, and grants are awarded until the $25,000 fund runs out.

Every year the fund has been used up in its entirety, but students across disciplines have sought summer compensation from sources other than the Internship Grant Fund. Rebecca Rose ’11, a chemistry major, has conducted research on lipids in E. coli bacteria under Assistant Professor of Chemistry Teresa Garrett at Vassar’s Undergraduate Research Summer Institute (URSI) for the past two summers and plans to do the same in the summer of 2010. According to Rose, URSI pays students a stipend of $3,200 per summer and charges students $5 per day to live in the dorms.

Food is not included, and neither are personal expenses, but Rose found that the

situation was “not a financial strain, [she just had] to be frugal.” She predicted that if URSI had not paid a stipend, she would have applied for a part-time job to cover her summer expenses.

Rose, who is attending Vassar on workstudy, is in tune with the fact that she has to meet the summer contribution required by the Office of Financial Aid, remarking that, “I need to save as much of the stipend as possible for the school year.” But Rose believes staying home for the summer in rural Brooklyn, Conn. would limit her professional options. According to Rose, who plans to pursue a Ph.D. in structural chemistry after graduation, lab experience is as important as grades and GRE scores for getting into graduate school. Rose feels lucky to be able to participate in URSI, particularly because of the importance of summer experiences, which are “probably one of the most important aspects” of a resume that graduate schools use in making admissions decisions.

Senior economics major Matthew Fixler echoed the importance of summer experience in a very different field: finance and investment banking. Fixler spent the summer learning how to assess investments at a hedge fund started by a Vassar alumnus, the name of which he declined to state. For Fixler, who was paid an hourly wage, the summer was very valuable: “You can learn relevant skills, meet people who will help you in the future, and of course boost your resume.”

The summer after his sophomore year, however, Fixler took an unpaid internship that “ended up paying [him] in experience.”

He is not too optimistic about the fairness of such internships though: “If unpaid internships were outlawed, some would become paid, but I imagine many would just disappear.”

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

Editor in Chief

he census has come and gone from the Vassar campus. Though students received the census form in their mailboxes last week, the April 20 deadline has already passed.

As of the morning of April 20, Vassar had about 40 percent participation in the census, or about 800 out of the 2,000 that were sent out to Vassar students. According to U.S. Census Bureau employee Paul Lill, who collects the census from the Residential Life Office, this participation rate is very good in comparison to the other schools from which he has been collecting forms. Though he would not name the university, Lill said that another local school had only received four percent participation.

While Vassar has done well in comparison to other college populations, it lags behind New York’s 66 percent participation rate and the national rate of 71 percent. Participation is partly determined by the diligence of the college or university in collecting responses. For example, on April 7, the Yale Daily News reported 94.6 percent participation from undergraduates after issuing serious incentives to students in the University’s residential colleges. This was a dramatic increase over the University’s 30 percent participation rate in the 2000 census.

Though the manner in which college students are counted is the same for this year’s census as it was in 2000, according to a March 16 article from the Pew Research Center, the fact that they are counted on campus rather than in their parents’ household can be confusing, especially as parents often count their college-aged students as dependents. As this residence rule is likely to only ever apply once to a typical family, the confusion may be renewed with each new generation of college students and parents.

Students received a census form designed for “group quarters,” which include emergency and transitional shelters and nursing homes in addition to college and university dormitories.

Though the assumption is that students would count Vassar as their residence because they spend the majority of the year on campus, on the group quarters form the resident does have the option to fill in another residence by checking “no” to the sixth question, “Do you live or stay in this facility most of the time?” and adding an additional address.

Professor of Political Science Richard Born suggested that there was no reason for Vassar students not to fill out the census, and elaborated on why it was beneficial to fill it out with the College as residence, including bringing funding to the community and allotting district votes.

According to Director of Institutional Research David Davis-Van Atta, even with both Vassar and Marist College students counting in Poughkeepsie, the added number would not make a large difference in the drawing of congressional lines. He also speculated about how many students would choose to be counted at home or at school, “That question can be a little murky as to how people will answer it,” he said.

“The census takes those data and assigns them back.”

Born agreed that the difference in national legislation would not be widely felt, but he added that student census data can make a difference in local elections. He recalled last November’s local voting controversies, (see “Vassar students’ right to vote in local elections challenged at polls,” 11.5.09), highlighting that while the census is not tied to voting regulations, “it is a step in the right direction.” The census also determines the amount of federal and state funding that a community receives, so the ability to count a student population can be beneficial to the district in which the school resides.

“When you get to lower levels of aggregation, county legislative levels or seats on the Town Board of Poughkeepsie,” said Born, “getting hundreds of students counted rather than not counted can make an important difference in whether or not Vassar students can control a district or at least influence a district.”

FEATURES

Page 6

April 22, 2010

Living history: a chat with College historian Daniels Matthew Vassar

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lizabeth “Betty” Daniels ’41 has been the Vassar College historian since 1985. Her job runs the gamut from fielding inquiries from people who want to learn more about family members that attended the College, to compiling information about Vassar’s academic and athletic departments, and everything in between. In addition, Daniels dedicates much of her time towards the development of the Vassar College Encyclopedia, an online work in progress that aims to preserve the College’s history by presenting articles of varying length on diverse topics.

Born in Westport, Conn., Daniels moved to New York City halfway through her sophomore year in high school and enrolled in St. Agatha’s, a private high school in Brooklyn.

While in high school, Daniels discovered a passion for English. One of her English teachers guided her towards choosing Vassar, and in 1937, Daniels arrived at the College. She recalls having attended a convocation lecture by then-Professor of English Helen Drusilla Lockwood, Class of 1912, who would become, according to Daniels, “one of the great women of the Vassar English Department.” Daniels later enrolled in a class taught by Lockwood, and fondly remembers taking a seat in the front row and listening to the start of the day’s discussion: “What is man?” In that class, Daniels recalled reading a series of poems by American poet Archibald MacLeish, articles in The New York Times and novels by Virginia Woolf. She continued to develop her interest in English, and still maintains her firm belief in the importance of writing and said, “At the time, I could see myself progressing.” She ultimately declared an English major, and in 1941, graduated from Vassar and moved on to graduate studies at the University of Michigan, where she received a master’s in American Literature.

In 1948, Daniels returned with her husband to Poughkeepsie, where the Vassar English Department offered her a job as a professor.

For the next 38 years, she remained involved at Vassar in many ways; she was dean of freshman from 1954 to 1957, acted as dean of studies in 1965 and continued to teach in the English Department throughout. In 1985, under the presidency of Virginia Smith, Daniels applied for the position of Vassar College historian.

Daniels remembers widespread anxiety at Vassar during the turbulent period of the 1960s, specifically referring to the debate on whether to merge with Yale University. In November of 1967, then-President Alan Simpson announced the Board of Trustees’ refusal

to merge with Yale. A year after Vassar’s refusal, the Committee on New Dimensions, established in response to the Yale-Vassar collaboration and discussion of the previous year, formed a subcommittee—which Daniels chaired—to analyze the entire scope of Vassar’s education. Says Daniels, “It was a time of great change. In fact, the present curriculum that the College has today is derived from that discussion.” Finally, in 1969, the College began admitting, as Daniels described it, “handfuls of men,” and became the first of the Seven Sisters colleges to become co-educational.

But one of the most interesting things about Daniels is her involvement with the Vassar College Encyclopedia. The inspiration for such an undertaking began when Daniels was dean of studies. Directly beneath the Dean of Studies Office, in the basement of Main Building, Daniels discovered what she describes as “boxes in various states of being, piled on top of one another, which contained student records dating back to the late 1860s and onwards, a copy of all the records of students that had ever applied for admission to Vassar.”

Daniels had a great desire to preserve these records, which captured the vast history of the College and, with the help of student interns, began a process of cleaning out the basement.

Daniels said, “I devoted a great deal of time during the next seven or eight years to getting these records out of the basement. I was digging for archival material.” With Daniels’s initiative, the College soon transferred half of the records to acid-free boxes in the Thompson Memorial Library and the other half onto microfilm.

Thus began the creation of the Vassar College Encyclopedia, which Daniels and Editor Colton Johnson, along with several student interns, have developed online as they continue to delve into campus history. The Encyclopedia has received support from Presidents Frances Daly Fergusson and Catharine Bond Hill and works in collaboration with the Special Collections Library and the College Relations Office. With the help of student interns, who, according to Daniels, “are what made the Encyclopedia possible,” the Vassar Encyclopedia, although still in development, contains a range of material organized into general categories, comprised of texts like poems and novels by various authors that have graduated from Vassar, illustrations and many other forms of media.

Daniels has dedicated much of her life to Vassar, not only contributing to its development as an institution, but, more importantly, preserving that history for the future generations to come.

KFC’s new sandwich, the KFC Double Down, skips the bread in favor of two pieces of chicken. Between these fried pieces are squeezed a couple pieces of cheese, a few strips of bacon and the “Colonel’s Sauce.”

No, this is why you’re fat: KFC Double Down Dan Combs

Assistant Features Editor

I

’m sure you’ve heard of it by now; it’s the greasy sensation that’s sweeping the nation. I’m referring, of course, to the one, the only, the KFC Double Down. The sandwich, if you can even legitimately call it that, consists of two pieces of fried chicken between which are squeezed a couple pieces of Monterrey and pepper jack cheese, a few strips of bacon and what KFC refers to as “The Colonel’s Sauce,” all of which together create a mountain of wet, sliding glacial pieces of animal. You are then given the charge to somehow miraculously eat this with your hands.

People are rightfully appalled by the fact that any company could actually try to market and sell this product across America. “Who on the chain of command approved this as an actual meal?” is something I’ve heard more than once.

But besides the appalling nutritional statistics associated with this kind of meal (540 calories, 32 grams of fat and 1380mg of sodium according to KFC’s website) and the equally frightening experience of actually eating this construction (zingy, microwaved bacon; an appallingly corrosive sauce that is equal parts salty, tangy and sweet; the inescapable bursting bubble of wetness that unavoidably accompanies the first bite; and—maybe the scariest bit of knowledge—that you’re kind of actually enjoying eating it), KFC’s Double Down sandwich successfully represents the pinnacle of three thoroughly American trends. The sandwich is a testament to the disgusting status of the food industry in our country, our subsequent fetishization and intellectualization of “things we know are terrible for us” and the absolutely incomparable power of good marketing.

KFC buys its chicken from a variety of industrial food giants, among them Purdue and Tyson, two notoriously unethical companies. This means that the two deep-fried breasts that you’re holding not only didn’t come from the same chicken, they probably didn’t even come from the same state. The birds most likely spent their entire life in a giant unlit barn alongside tens of thousands of other chickens, living in their own feces, barely able to walk more than a few steps due to atrophied leg muscles and genetically engineered ballooning breasts, watching their comrades drop dead all around them only to be periodically picked up every couple hours in a roving backhoe, being fed on a diet of equal parts petroleum-grown cornmeal and antibiotics. That’s what you’re holding in your hands, between which you have cheese from a cow that has never moved more than a few feet and who sleeps in her own shit, bacon from a bag, which probably has more chemicals in it than it does rubbery skin, and fat from the poor pig that it originally belonged to: a pig that most likely spent its life blind from disease, with its snout perennially pressed in between the buttocks of its 100 or so neighbors. And then we have the colonel’s sauce, maybe the most diabolical

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

aspect of the entire experience. Supposed to be a tangy mayonnaise, you may think that all you need are egg yolks, oil, a little vinegar, and maybe some adobo sauce and garlic. Little would you know, until you consult text message-based miscellaneous inquiryfielding service ChaCha, that there are actual parts of dehydrated chicken in the sauce that is on your chicken. That’s after they mix together propylene glycol alginate, MSG, autolyzed yeast extract and a slew of corn-based (i.e. petroleum-based) extractions meant to persuade your tongue that it is tasting sweet and salty things, satisfying your instinct for energy dense foods and releasing all the right endorphins to make you think you’re enjoying your meal.

But what really makes the masticatory experience unavoidably enjoyable is probably a little scarier than chemical-induced happiness. It’s hard not to get a kick out of lavishing yourself with something that you know is this horrible. There is a certain element of black humor that necessarily accompanies this kind of gastronomic adventure and the intellectualization of these gratuitous pursuits. We know we’re killing ourselves through food, we know we are prostrating ourselves before an industry with pervasive detriment to the environment, our society and our economy, and somehow we have turned this knowledge into a form of sarcasm. Is eating this kind of food a sarcastic act? Is fast food the new medium for an ironic backlash against healthy America? The popularity of websites like ThisisWhyYoureFat. com, a photo sharing site for proselytizing nutritional abominations, and of recipes for such eccentricities as brownie and peep pizza, says something about our ability to hold thing such as “deliciousness” and “absurdity” as more important than mere nutrition. The government doesn’t give you a percent daily value for these necessary human experiences, but maybe they should, because people are buying the Double Down. And KFC has marketed itself amazingly well.

By exploiting this ironic sub-attitude towards health, the chicken giants have carved out a niche for their little sandwich. With advertisements promoting the Double Down as “…so meaty there’s no room for a bun” and a wildly successful viral campaign, KFC managed to secure a place for their sandwich as the apex of the mountain of culinary absurdity. Dining forums across the Web have been talking about the pending arrival of the sandwich since it was “leaked” in December.

It seems absurd to think of The New York Times’ dining critic reviewing a fast food restaurant, but last Monday, there was Sam Sifton, waiting in line to eat and write about the new sandwich sensation (with foodie paparazzi taking stalker picture from the bushes to boot). Somehow the Double Down is flying off the shelves even though everyone knows it’s basically the culinary equivalent of Iceland’s Eyjafjallajokull volcano. What’s wrong with us? I don’t know, but I’ve eaten it three times already.

FEATURES

April 22, 2010

Page 7

Puffy, pillowy potatoes: transcending pasta Nate Silver Columnist

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Vassar in pictures

Exposure is the photojournalism blog of The Miscellany News, featuring the work of our own photographers, as well as Vassar community members producing outstanding work in the medium. The blog aims to capture the visual culture of the Vassar College campus.

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Gnocchi with mascarpone, peas and prosciutto For the gnocchi: »» 3 medium russet potatoes, peeled and quartered (about 2 lb) »» 2 c. flour »» 1 egg »» 1/2 c. ricotta cheese »» 2 T chopped fresh parsley »» 1 T chopped fresh basil »» Salt to taste Boil the potatoes until they are forktender. Drain them and set aside to cool for a few moments. This is the tricky part: You want to remove all lumps from the potatoes to ensure soft, pillowy gnocchi. Ideally you would pass the potatoes through a food mill or a ricer. If, like me, you do not own one of these you can also work them through a wire sieve. Your absolute last resort should be a potato masher, and if you do elect to use one, you’ll just need to settle for a few lumps in your pasta.

Add the egg, ricotta, herbs and salt to the potatoes and mix well. Begin to add the flour a little bit at a time (you may not

Roasted Asparagus »» »» »» »»

1 bunch asparagus (the thinner, the better) 2 T olive oil Salt and pepper to taste 1 lemon

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees. Remove the bottoms from the asparagus: if you gently hold an asparagus spear in one hand bend the base with the other, you will find its natural break and the tough, inedible bottom portion will easily come off. Lay the asparagus out on a sheet tray.

On top of the asparagus, pour the olive oil, sprinkle some salt and pepper and squeeze the lemon juice; roll around to combine. Roast for 10-12 minutes, until golden brown and tender. Zest the lemon on top before serving.

need all 2 c., you may need a bit more) and work into the dough. Pour the dough out onto a floured surface and begin to knead gently. Continue to add flour and knead the dough until it comes together into a nice ball and is no longer sticky to the touch. Over-working the dough will lead to slightly tough and gummy gnocchi, so I find that as little as I can touch it, the better.

Quarter the dough and roll each quarter into a long dowel, about 3/4 inch thick.

Cut the dowel of dough about every 3/4 inch or to form pellets. Take each small piece of dough and form into an elongated dumpling – you can also flick these with a fork to get the traditional gnocchi shape. They do not have to be perfect: the only people that will really see them are you and your friends, and they’ll taste so good no one will care about their shape.

Cook the gnocchi in a pot of boing water for 3 minutes, until they float to the top. Remove them with a slotted spoon or sieve and place right into the sauce.

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In a large saucepan heat the olive oil over medium heat. Add the leek, garlic and onions (and a pinch of salt) and sauté for about 5 minutes until soft. Add the vegetable stock and mascarpone and cook until the mascarpone has melted and the sauce is thick and creamy.

Once the gnocchi is cooked and added to the saucepan, add the peas, parsley, half of the basil and half of the prosciutto. Stir to combine.

Pour out into your serving bowl and top with the remaining basil and prosciutto. For good measure, grate some parmesan cheese on top.

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For the sauce: »» 2 T olive oil »» 1 large leek, top part removed, chopped »» 1 medium onion, chopped »» 1 clove garlic, chopped »» 1 c. vegetable stock »» 1 c. mascarpone cheese »» 1/2 c. fresh or frozen peas »» Salt and pepper to taste »» 2 T chopped fresh parsley »» 2 T basil, chopped chiffonade (small ribbons) »» 4 slices prosciutto, sliced into thin ribbons

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his is better than anything I’ve ever tasted.” The words gushed out of sophomore Kelley Van Dilla’s mouth when he finished savoring his first creamy, pillowy gnocchi on Monday evening. I think he was speaking in reference to his previous encounters with the Italian potato dumplings, but I prefer to think he was experiencing one of those moments of utterly transcendent gastronomy.

This recipe for gnocchi is tried and true, one that I take great pride in and, if Kelley’s reaction is any signal, one that is sure to capture the minds and stomachs of any sort of company. If your only experience with gnocchi involves tough little ribbed pellets out of a sketchy looking package in a pasta aisle, I submit that your mouth has not come close to tasting the breathtaking magic of homemade gnocchi. It’s that word that I will continue to harp on this week: homemade.

I was told by my acting teacher sophomore year that the only fair thing in the entire world was the gym: You get out exactly what you put in. True as that may seem, I would add making fresh pasta to that short list. The difference in taste, texture and satisfaction that fresh pasta brings compared to its dried, packaged counterpart is astounding. Putting in a half hour’s time in the kitchen, getting your hands dirty, and rolling out dough with friends will change your life.

This week I initially planned to make tagliatelle, those thick strands of pasta that can wrap themselves around just about anything, but when I searched my cabinet and discovered that my pasta machine is resting at home in Providence, I had to come up with plan B. Good thing I did, as gnocchi is certainly a much more manageable first pasta to attempt.

Please don’t be intimidated by the length of the instructions for preparing the gnocchi (I discovered that explaining how to knead dough via the written word is more difficult than I had anticipated). Rest assured that start-to-finish gnocchi is only an hour-long ordeal.

The secret to this recipe is the twist I put on the pasta. My recipe adapts the idea behind traditional gnocchi, made with potatoes, and what I consider to be gnocchi’s handsome half-brother, gnudi. Gnudi are Italian dumplings made from ricotta and are usually a bit lighter and fluffier than gnocchi, which can sometimes end up a bit dense. Adding the ricotta to the gnocchi recipe brings a fantastic balance and yields what I consider to be some of the most pillowy, delectable gnocchi west of Sorrento.

The only other ingredient that may require an explanation this week is the mascarpone, which is a wonderfully creamy, soft cheese, most commonly found in tiramisu. All pretense aside, the roasted asparagus was an absolute afterthought. The gnocchi is substantial enough to stand on its own, but I had a few bucks left and decided to fire up some asparagus. It’s an incredibly simple recipe—one that I make often—and is my go-to whenever I’m assigned a side dish for a potluck. (I find asparagus holds up and travels well.)

As you go home tonight and contemplate what to make for dinner, consider digging a bit deeper than the box of Barilla on your pantry shelf: grab some potatoes, an egg, some flour, and start working from scratch. Your stomach will thank you.

OPINIONS

Page 8

VC students fail to grasp basictenents of causality Ben Reichman

Guest Columnist

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t seems a little bit rich to me the way that Vassar College students purport to understand so much about the world and yet fail to grasp concepts as basic as cause and effect. For example, students do not appear to comprehend the seemingly self-evident correlation between laying off workers and the apparent “untimeliness and ineffectiveness” of the remaining staff members. This is what struck me as I read the article entitled “Buildings and Grounds to be re-evaluated” (4.8.2010) in the The Miscellany News. Apparently, grievances towards Buildings and Grounds are piling up.

This is to be expected in the best of times—there will always be building maintenance problems, and Vassar students will always need Buildings and Grounds to fix them. But after the recent lay offs of Buildings and Grounds employees as a result of Vassar’s so-called economic restructuring, does it come as a surprise to anyone that Buildings and Grounds as it exists today is a little less than timely or effective? Apparently, the overwhelming pressure to restructure Vassar’s finances ourselves seemed more important at the time than timely and effective Buildings and Grounds performance.

How dare we compile grievances when all we are witnessing are the direct byproducts of our own economic decisions.

Every student who failed to protest the economic restructuring decisions of Vice President of Finance and Administration Elizabeth Eismeier and President of the College Catharine Bond Hill and others effectively gave up the right to expect speedy service from any College facilities. As if the irony wasn’t sweet enough already, The Miscellany News reported that though it attempted to contact him, “Director of Buildings and Grounds Thomas Allen was unable to be reached for comment.” And no wonder—he was no doubt busy with the extra work hoisted onto his shoulders as a result of our need to maintain the bottom line and our apparent lack of care for the ultimate consequences of our economic decisions.

What is really the issue here is the fact that Vassar students act without thinking. This is a lesson taught to tiny children all across the world every day: that we should think before we act, and consider the consequences of our actions. We hold events like Hawaiian luaus and Free Weezy: A Mug Night and Miami ViCE and then—only then, after the event has been created—do we consider whether it might have offended someone. We lay off workers and complain about slow service. We shoot ourselves in the foot and cry when we lose the triathlon. As if anything else could have resulted. As if there could have been any other possible outcome. How naïve, how irresponsible, how self-satisfied of us to exhibit the privilege and confidence of acting first and asking questions later. We need to learn that, unless our intentions are crystal clear, intentions don’t matter.

The time has indeed come for us to put ourselves on the line and hold ourselves accountable for the consequences of our actions. All of the knowledge we purport to gain during our time here will go to waste if we do not learn this simple lesson.

—Ben Reichman ’11 is the Treasurer of The Vassar Feminist Majority Leadership Alliance and is a candidate for Vassar Student Association President.

April 22, 2010

Vassar relies on, reviews investments CIRC oversees responsible investing Rachel Kitzinger and Brian Farkas Guest Columnists

L

ike most selective private colleges, Vassar College relies on an endowment to support its annual budget. Our endowment—valued at about $750 million—is a long-term investment fund that supports the College’s many activities, from teaching to research to financial aid.

Funds have come from the generous gifts of Vassar’s alumnae/i and friends over the past 150 years, and are invested in such a way that they can provide for annual spending and also sustain their value over time.

As an investor, Vassar is remarkable for two reasons: First, we’re big. We have a very large amount of money to invest. Second, we’re in the market for the long term. We invest with the assumption that the College will exist in perpetuity. We’re not a fly-by-night investor hoping to turn profits in a hurry.

While the yield on our investments is essential to Vassar’s ability to educate its students, the College also takes on the responsibility of monitoring its investments to be sure that the conduct of companies whose stock is owned directly by Vassar does not violate the College’s own policies. For example, through voting company proxies on social issues, we are able to press companies to make progressive and responsible choices that are in keeping with the values we espouse as an educational institution.

How does Vassar do this? The Campus Investor Responsibility Committee (CIRC)— the most fascinating committee you’ve probably never heard of—makes recommendations to the Investment Responsibility Committee of the Board of Trustees on proxy voting and on issues that arise on campus that might affect our investment policies.

CIRC has 10 members, including four Vassar Student Association-elected students, two alumni, two faculty members and two administrators. Rachel Kitzinger, professor of classics and dean of planning and academic affairs, serves as the chair. The Committee is a really unique space on campus, where history, geography, economics, political science and environmental science truly come alive.

So what does CIRC actually do? The Committee’s primary role is to carefully study proxy resolutions for American companies in which the College holds publicly traded shares. Proxy resolutions are formal resolutions written by investors. If the resolutions pass scrutiny by the Securities and Exchange

Commission and are passed by a vote of the majority of shareholders, the corporation will enact the policies requested in the resolution.

Resolutions that CIRC discusses involve issues of social and political significance—for example, requesting companies to report on plans to reduce carbon emissions or publish political contributions or raise labor standards. Proxy voting provides a valuable opportunity for investors to pressure companies to weigh issues of social importance as they also fulfill their responsibilities to their shareholders to ensure profitability.

Committee members diligently research the topics and context for resolutions, and then engage in incredibly lively debate about the proper course of action. Let’s look at a couple examples of the types of resolutions that CIRC considered recently.

At our meeting last week, we voted unanimously that ConocoPhillips (an international energy company) should add gender identity to its nondiscrimination policy. Why did we vote in favor of this? Because Vassar itself includes gender identity and gender expression in its own nondiscrimination policy. Ideally, of course, we believe that the companies in which we invest should share our values, especially regarding issues of inclusion.

Here’s another, more involved example.

We considered a resolution for Wells Fargo (a large bank) to release the names of the trade associations that it financially supports. (Trade associations are organizations that connect businesses within a certain industry. While they are not political organizations themselves, they often participate in political lobbying, advertising and fundraising.) The Committee recognized that Wells Fargo already has a high bar for transparency about contributions, and actually prohibits contributions directly to political candidates or parties. But this resolution was focused specifically on requiring the company to report the membership in trade associations, which the company does not currently do.

One of the students, a political science major, immediately brought up the Supreme Court’s recent Citizen’s United v. FEC ruling. If the Court wants to treat corporations as human entities with freedom to “speak” through political funding, Committee members asserted, then investors have the right to know exactly where that funding is going. So, despite Wells Fargo’s generally good record, we felt it was appropriate to ask them to reveal their membership in and contributions

to trade associations. The vote was 8-1 in favor of the resolution. (The opposing vote was cast in the belief that revealing membership in trade associations whose policies conflict with Wells Fargo’s may damage the company.)

Beyond making recommendations to the Trustees on how the College should vote on specific resolutions, CIRC also advises the College on the desirability of disclosing information regarding Vassar’s portfolio, as well as divestment from corporations that could be deemed inconsistent with Vassar’s mission and values. A few years ago, for example, Vassar divested from certain companies operating in the Sudan because of the horrific genocide in Darfur. CIRC also recently considered a request from students to recommend a divestment policy in CocaCola to the Trustees.

In short, we often hear the cacophony of complaints that liberal arts education is wholly separate from real-world issues or problem solving. These grumbles—expressed with an uncertain blend of sarcasm and fear—often arise from worried liberal arts students and their even-more-worried parents.

But in our Vassar experience, CIRC offers perhaps the most direct link between the abstract theories learned in the classroom and the concrete realities of life outside the ivory tower. At its best, Vassar imbues its students with the radical curiosity and intellectual verve to lead principled lives of consequence. We should do this as students, as investors and as human beings.

Have questions about Vassar’s investments? Have questions about the work of CIRC and how we decide on proxy resolutions? Please get in touch with the student representatives on the Committee—Brian Farkas ’10, Daniel Savage ’10, Louise Conner ’11 and Arjun Agarwala ’10 at vsaoperations@ vassar.edu. The Committee will hold a meeting on April 30 with a member of the Responsible Endowments Coalition, a group that brings together committees like CIRC from many campuses to discuss issues of mutual interest. If you are interested in the work of the Committee or curious about issues of socially responsible investment, please come and join the discussion.

—Brian Farkas ’10 is VSA Vice President for Operations. Rachel Kitzinger is the Dean of Planning and Academic Affairs and Matthew Vassar Jr. Professor of Classics.

In cases of offense, thicker skin needed Julian Mundy

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Guest Columnist

s you probably know if you’ve read any of my other articles, I’m a big fan of naked honesty, regardless of the backlash. That said, what you are going to read below may piss you off. Maybe you’ll decide to write me hate mail, maybe you’ll give me dirty looks as we pass each other on campus, maybe you’ll find the nerve to vent your righteous indignation to my face.

Whatever you decide to do is entirely your call, and short of physically attacking me, I’m okay with taking the fallout. Just so you know, none of what I say here is meant to offend anyone, but I’m sure it will offend somebody, and that conveniently brings me to the argument I want to pose to you, the reader.

Funny how that works, isn’t it?

Without dancing around it any more than I already have, the issue I’m here to write about is that of offense, as we are well acquainted with in discussions of the Offended? group on Facebook, the Davison Luau, Free Weezy: A Mug Night and so on. I get that as college students of a certain age, we all feel strongly about a range of issues, and that is absolutely a healthy use of time and energy.

We should get involved in whatever group or cause we feel resonates deeply with us, and when opinions clash, disagreements are

going to spring up. It just comes down to who can argue longest, loudest or, in rare cases, best, that decides who can come away from these disagreements with the attitude of the victor. The articulation of opinions is important above all else, and ideally, no one person or group should be silenced based on the va-

“Again, as a white kid, I have no reason to call people out on issues of race, but I do know a thing or two about intent.” lidity of their argument.

In any case, my personal opinion on the topic of taking offense is that while I love arguing, we, as a student body, have seriously lost the very crucial skill of knowing when and where to pick a fight. Now, I know that as an upper-middle class white boy, I have no right to complain over how whiny people got over a Mug night they perceived to be derogatory to black students or a luau that

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

Hawaiian students found demeaning. However, I happen to be pretty skinny, pale as a ghost, and I wear a lot of black clothing. As a result, high school helped me grow a much thicker skin, and, more importantly, it taught me what situations need to be fought over.

To be honest, I thought everyone overreacted to Free Weezy and the luau to a ridiculous degree. Really, I got sick of hearing about them. Again, as a white kid, I have no reason to call people out on issues of race, but I do know a thing or two about intent.

Intent is everything when it comes to situations like Free Weezy. Everything.

While the last few weeks have let me know that all is not well on our beloved Vassar campus, you can’t honestly think that the Free Weezy Mug night was orchestrated to maliciously and consciously belittle black people. If the opposite were true, I would be screaming fire and brimstone about racism on campus. But even with all our disagreements, I know in my heart that we love where we are and that we are Vassar students. No one meant any harm in thinking up Free Weezy.

Some people just thought it would make for a fun night of music and dancing, so is it really so important that they be vilified?

In a nutshell, Vassar: Think before you speak. It’s easier for everyone.

April 22, 2010

OPINIONS

Page 9

Women should not be blamed for sexual assault Angela Aiuto Senior Editor

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as last Thursday opposite day? Surely that can be the only explanation for the latest column written by my co-editor, Kelly Shortridge, which accused me of “[blaming Vassar men] for the repression of women, for supporting ‘the patriarchy,’ for ills that many of these men do not want to play a part of and don’t support.” Shortridge continued: “Arguments like Aiuto’s only serve to impose further pressures of stoicism onto men, that their feelings should be kept inside and not expressed.” (“Manbox a practical jumble but promising concept,” 04.15.10) Let me take a moment to apologize: My bad, Vassar men! I had no idea I was playing a part in your victimization and oppression—this must be some terrible misunderstanding. See, I thought I was arguing that the manbox effectively highlights the way men are victims of patriarchy, but nevertheless ignores male agency in preventing sexual assault and eradicating sexism. I thought I was encouraging men to speak up, to share the way they feel, to be more vocal than just writing anonymous comments on a wooden box in the College Center. Am I missing something?

Perhaps Shortridge’s comments would make more sense to me if I exposed myself to a male’s perspective on the manbox. So I turned to Bobby Benjamin’s April 15 column, “Why the

manbox isn’t helping.” Here’s what Benjamin had to say: “I find that Ms. Aiuto’s disregard of the difficulties in ‘stepping out of the manbox’ to be callous and unhelpful...As any man who has tried to stand up for a woman’s right to be respected in the company of other men—and I’m speaking from personal experience—a man faces emasculation and ostracism, in a way that is considered acceptable by society.”

Ah, I get it now.

You know, Shortridge and Benjamin are right: It is so hard to be a man. I absolutely agree that men do get made fun of by their male peers when they stand up for women— that was kind of the point that the manbox was trying to make. Since I’d really hate to cause Benjamin even more discomfort, I’d like to direct this particular column toward my lady friends. Here goes: Girls, it’s time to quit complaining about gendered violence. You guys sound like a bunch of man-hating harpies! Guys like Benjamin, we know they’re good people, and we know they’re on our side, but they’ve got their reputations on the line! We wouldn’t want Benjamin or other well-intentioned men to feel emasculated, to be called a pussy or worse by their sexist (yet awesome) male buddies, now would we? Can women even comprehend that kind of shame and embarrassment?

And really, us women can’t expect men to make that kind of sacrifice just to end domestic

violence and sexual assault. This is especially true given that, as someone wrote on the manbox, those terms encompass the “broadest definition” of what is considered domestic violence and sexual assault. In other words, we’re not talking about “rape” rape, here, so why place so much importance on it? Again, as I said: Reputations are on the line! Men will be called pussies and will be ostracized!

This emasculation of men can be avoided, Benjamin suggested, if women just realize that they, too, have the agency to prevent gendered violence. That’s right, ladies: If you’ve been raped, you obviously didn’t struggle, and you obviously didn’t say “no.” To add to that: Why don’t you quit dressing like sluts and flirting with every guy you meet? Don’t be a lush. You’d better not walk alone at night, and stay out of dark places. Most importantly, never, ever go anywhere alone with a man, even if you know him well and trust him. Yes, this makes it absolutely clear: Women have the power to prevent sexual assault. And if you don’t exercise that agency, you have no one to blame but yourself.

Does this sound really messed up and awful?

Yeah, it should. But I think it’s a comprehensive, albeit exaggerated example, of how even some well-meaning men view sexual assault.

Obviously Benjamin didn’t intend to blame women for their own rapes, but he doesn’t realize the consequences of placing emphasis on the woman’s role in preventing sexual assault.

Here are just a few: It causes further pain, embarrassment and guilt to the victim than what is felt after the initial sexual assault; it will lead to fewer reported assaults, as victims will feel directly responsible for their victimization; it gives men an excuse to commit sexual assault; it perpetuates a world view that men cannot control themselves, and that it is up to the woman to take precautions; and it will keep sexual offenders on the streets. I’m sure I’m missing some, but I’m working with a word limit, people.

Another point that I wanted to address, raised by both Benjamin and Shortridge, is that nobody intends to invoke the entire male population at Vassar when these discussions occur.

(Side note to Benjamin: When complaining about being labeled a sexist because you’re male, it’s probably best not to immediately follow that complaint with a sexist statement.)

Still, it’s not my fault, or the fault of anyone else who discusses gender or race at Vassar, that a lot of the offensive statements seem to be coming from white or male students. So can you please just stop being so sensitive about it?

Oops, there I go, emasculating you again!

—Angela Aiuto ’11 is the Senior Editor. This year, she and Opinions Editor Kelly Shortridge ’12 are maintaining an alternating column called “Point, Counterpoint,” in which they engage one another in conversation. Aiuto is majoring in political science.

The need for a manbox Indian Point plant dangerous From another male perspective Tobey Fox

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Guest Columnist

would like to respond to Bobby Benjamin’s article from last week, “Why the manbox isn’t helping” (4.15.10). I will preface this by saying that I am a CARES counselor, which does inform my opinions, but I do not at all speak for CARES. As an organization, CARES is content to have raised this discussion in the way described in last week’s article. In this article, I speak from a personal level. In order to enter this discussion as an individual, I fully divorce myself from the organization (whose members, of course, hold a variety of opinions) that provides a non-judgmental service for those who need it.

Benjamin exemplifies exactly some of the attitudes that the manbox points out as potentially harmful. To clearly lay out once more the point about the manbox: It is not about attacking men, nor does it name all men as abusers. The idea behind the manbox is simply that it is acceptable in society for men to hold certain attitudes that allow a minority of other men to commit sexual assault and get away with it on both a social and legal level.

I’ll give an example of this kind of attitude.

I don’t mean to single Benjamin out, but I will use his article as an example of some of the problematic stances that many men hold.

Examples could be found anywhere, and the abundance of resentful comments on the manbox itself suggest that there are plenty of potentially harmful attitudes on campus, in addition to very valid concern and opposition to possible implications of the manbox.

Benjamin suggests in his article, “Try just saying ‘no’ to a man who wants to have sex with you.” As a friend of several survivors of sexual assault, I find this callous and offensive for two reasons. First of all, it invalidates the experiences of millions of women who have said “no” and been assaulted anyway.

Had Benjamin attended some of the other events that CARES put on for Sexual Assault Awareness Week, such as the screening of NO! The Rape Documentary and talk with

its producer, Aishah Shahidah Simmons, he might have seen how “just saying ‘no’” has worked out for some women.” Saying “no” should and could work, but it doesn’t, largely because our society has made this kind of assertion unacceptable. The manbox seeks to change this as much as anything else.

The second reason I find Benjamin’s statements offensive is that it contributes to an environment where men can say, “Well, she didn’t say ‘no,’ so she must have wanted it!”

Benjamin, to his credit, points this out as a problem, but contributes to the problem by suggesting saying “no” as a solution in the first place. The other suggestion, that someone say “I’m feeling tired. I think I’ll go to bed,” would be laughably ineffective in cases where, for example, a man has walked a drunk woman back to her room with the intent to have sex with her, a common occurrence on college campuses. However, requiring that a woman make up an excuse to not want to have sex is just as problematic as requiring that she say “no.” Here’s a thought: How about requiring that a woman say “yes”?

What about actually getting consent, rather than assuming it? The attitude that Benjamin is inadvertently supporting —that if a woman doesn’t indicate otherwise, it is perfectly okay to have sex with her—is exactly the kind of attitude that many otherwise well-meaning men hold that lets perpetrators off the hook.

Benajmin’s example of not wanting to blame all Muslims for the terrorist activities of a few is an apt example on which he misses the point. It is absolutely correct that the religion of Islam cannot be categorically blamed for its terrorists, just as the manbox does not blame all men for sexual assault. But it is certainly the case that terrorists—Islamic or otherwise—rely on the support of at least some of their peers. The individual Muslims who in their hearts finds violence repulsive but do not speak out against it are not to blame for the violence that happens. But that is not to See MANBOX on page 10

must be decommissioned Joseph Schaivo Guest Columnist

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s the crow flies, the Indian Point nuclear power plant is just 30 miles south of Vassar. Opposition to nuclear power plants runs deep—images of Chernobyl and memories of Three Mile Island are tritely commonplace. Is opposition to Indian Point driven by “not in my backyard” arguments? The plant should be decommissioned for many reasons: With the Nuclear Regulatory Commission currently reviewing Indian Point for a 20-year license renewal, compelling evidence is emerging that the plant is a threat to both human populations and the environment. Nuclear power is important to the future of energy, but Indian Point is not a safe and effective example

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of this promising power source.

The New York State Department of Environmental Conservation (DEC) thinks so, too—on April 3, The New York Times reported that the DEC found Indian Point in violation of the federal Clean Water Act. This is a major setback for Indian Point’s operator, Entergy Corporation, as the DEC’s approval is a vital step in the relicensing process. The DEC found that Indian Point’s “once-through” cooling system, which draws billions of gallons of Hudson River water daily to cool the reactors, kills billions of fish every year. This is due to the fact that the system discharges heated water from the plant, which increases the temperature of the Hudson’s fragile estua See INDIAN POINT on page 10

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OPINIONS

Page 10

April 22, 2010

Goldman has the Republicans singing, ‘Yes, we can’ Obama must distance himself from financial firms David Keith

Guest Columnist

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n interesting discussion is heating up concerning the upcoming race for the 2012 Republican presidential nomination process. While Democrats are desperately praying the GOP nominates an activist conservative such as Newt Gingrich or Sarah Palin, there are bigger issues that should be troubling Democratic Party officials’ thoughts concerning the 2012 elections.

Many pundits are arguing that the 2010 health care overhaul and the administration’s Afghanistan decisions will be President of the United States Barack Obama’s major obstacles when he attempts to obtain re-election. While they are correct in saying that those two decisions will affect his campaign’s staunchly liberal, transformative platform, there will be an elephant in the room with the name Goldman Sachs.

In a campaign for higher office, there is no stronger attack on a candidate than criticizing where the candidate’s major donations come from. In 2007, a major debate took

Consent means more than lack of saying ‘no’ MANBOX continued from page 9 say that more cannot be done: If more people on all levels spoke up and spoke out against violence in their everyday lives, adding to the already commendable efforts being made, so much could be achieved. If every single Muslim (as per Benjamin’s analogy) along with people of all religions, made it loudly clear that terrorism was an unacceptable tactic—that this is an unacceptable interpretation of their faith—then those who would commit attacks would quickly dwindle to a few disorganized loose cannons. If every man made it so clear that all forms of sexual violation were unacceptable, far fewer men would abuse other men, women and children, and it would be far easier to hold those perpetrators accountable. I agree with Benjamin that female involvement in enacting social change is necessary too. Women, however, are in general far more invested and active in this particular movement than men, who tend to ignore it completely. This is why there is a manbox but not (this year at least) a womanbox.

Crying in mock pain that our gender is being villainized is just a way for men to evade having to actually take action and change the environment that implicitly condones so many instances of assault as well as domestic abuse.

I would like Bobby Benjamin and all other men in the Vassar community to know that this is not about villainizing men. It is the men within CARES who pushed for the manbox in the first place.

The idea came, as has been said, from Tony Porter, an activist and educator who is also male. I encourage people to visit his website at www.acalltomen.org to learn more about his organization’s perspective.

The manbox has succeeded impossibly well by provoking this conversation and allowing people in the community to discuss what is—and, just as importantly, what is not—problematic about masculinity.

While we have this discussion we have to remember that this is not about blaming men. It’s about getting our fellow men to help stop the sexual violence that scars hundreds of thousands of loved ones in the United States every year, something a little more significant than our collective wounded pride.

place between then-Senators Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama, with Clinton condemning Obama for taking money from political fundraiser Tony Rezko, whom she termed a “slum landlord” in a Jan. 22, 2008 debate with Obama, according to The New York Times.

However, the attacks never amounted to an electoral blow as few people either knew or cared who Rezko was because he did not represent an institution that looted Main Street America on a daily basis.

Goldman Sachs is just that demon. The investment banking mega-firm represents to millions of Americans what was wrong with America before the economic crisis and what continues to be wrong with America after the meltdown.

Every news viewer, whether he or she is a Fox stalwart or a MSNBC loyalist, knows that Goldman Sachs, among many other financial sector firms, received billions in taxpayer bailouts and used them without restrictions.

Main Street America perceives Wall Street as the bully and Goldman Sachs as a firm that may represent the ringleader.

With fraud charges now becoming widely known, Goldman Sachs’s sterling reputation is heading down the lines of other known financial deviants such as Bear Sterns and Lehman Brothers. Worst of all, the firm has staunchly supported Obama, a for certain blow to the President’s hopes of calling the GOP the party of Wall Street.

In the 2008 election season, almost all investment banking political action committee money went to Democrats. Worst of all, the PAC money from the major firms, among them, Goldman Sachs and Citi Group, sent political cash to Obama.

This will hurt the opportunity for Obama and Congressional Democrats, who are on the brink of debating financial reform, to claim that Republicans are Wall Street fat cats, just as they claimed the GOP was the insurance industry’s puppet during the recent health care proceedings.

Furthermore, when it comes time for the 527 organizations—which are tax-exempt groups that are permitted to advocate certain issues but not to directly support or oppose specific

candidates—to roll in 2012, the link between Goldman Sachs and Obama will create the kind of fire and damage to the president’s campaign as did the Swift Boat for America 527 group ads against Senator John Kerry during his 2004 run for the White House.

As I have been arguing for months now, the president has been digging himself into a deep hole. He has been narrowing his base, and the “Yes We Can” crowd, which began as a screaming choir on the streets of Springfield, Ill. now seems to be a distant whisper.

President Barack Obama needs to disavow Wall Street.

He needs to make it clear to the American people that he will never accept another dime from the financial industry and that he vows to defeat whoever the Republican presidential nominee may be in 2012 by becoming the populist hero, much like he was the liberal savior in 2008. If there is anything we already know about the 2012 race, it is that populism will dominate the debate, and whoever wants to be the president in January 2013 will need to act like Main Street’s hero.

Point not reflective of nuclear power INDIAN POINT continued from page 9 rine environment. This increase in temperature reduces the amount of oxygen that can dissolve in the water, which causes aquatic life to suffocate.

But the DEC’s decision isn’t necessarily the end of the line for Indian Point. The DEC’s concerns could be alleviated by retrofitting the plant with a “closed-loop” cooling system, which uses cooling towers to cycle water through the reactors, drawing significantly less water from the Hudson. However, this would come at an enormous aesthetic and financial cost: We must put up with enormous cooling towers on the banks of the Hudson, and Entergy must invest an estimated $1.1 billion to carry out the retrofit, according to the New York Times April 3 article “New York Denies Indian Point a Water Permit.” In any case, Entergy is likely to challenge the DEC’s decision and long legal battles could erupt in the courts.

Thinking more broadly about Indian Point, water quality violations are just the tip of a very large iceberg. Clearwater, an environmental advocacy group championed by folk singer Pete Seeger, has been vocal about environmental justice concerns raised by Indian Point. Census data reveal that the risk posed

by Indian Point is concentrated among minority populations, since the proportion of black and Hispanic populations in Westchester County is higher than the national average.

How do we plan for the unthinkable?

Alarmingly, Indian Point’s evacuation plan only accounts for the community within a 10-

mile radius of the plant. A radiological event, caused by a severe fire, a serious leak or even a meltdown, could spread dangerous levels of radiation over an area much larger than 10 miles. In the face of such terminal risks, I am wont to distrust statistical analyses that declare “unlikely” events that have extremely adverse consequences.

Indian Point sits a mere 33-miles north of New York City, home to over 8 million people, and is only 30 miles south of Poughkeepsie. Since the Governmental Nuclear Regulatory Commission first granted Indian Point a license, the “emergency preparedness zone” that surrounds the plant has grown to become the most densely populated of any such zone in the country. A radiological event, caused by a severe fire, a serious leak or even a meltdown, could spread dangerous levels of radiation over an area much larger than 10 miles (in the Chernobyl disaster radiation was detected over 800 miles away from the site.)

If we close Indian Point, what will the future of energy in the Hudson Valley look like? Estimates of decommissioning costs for Indian Point vary significantly, but they are consistently higher than the estimated $1.1 billion needed to retrofit the plant. Proponents of relicensing Indian Point rightly argue that decommissioning the plant will leave a two-gigawatt capacity shortfall in New York’s electricity grid, but realistic alternatives exist. In 2006, a National Research Council committee published a study that found that natural gas powered plants and

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other sources could feasibly replace Indian Point’s capacity ahead of the plant’s license expiration. Of course, extensive retrofitting to elevate Indian Point’s environmental and safety standards remains a practicable option.

At stake in the Indian Point debate is the broader issue of nuclear power as an energy source. For all its perceived evils, nuclear power is promising for its efficiency and extremely low emissions. Unfortunately, the National Research Council’s solution relies mostly on fossil fuels.

Nuclear energy is by no means a renewable resource, but it does not burn fossil fuels and is simultaneously commercially viable.

31 years after Three Mile Island, President Obama has announced a new policy of nuclear power investment, ending an obdurate hiatus on nuclear growth.

New technologies from Westinghouse and GE Hitachi have made possible nuclear reactors that can safely shut themselves down and convert their own radiological waste into fuel.

Are we calling for Indian Point to be shut down for the right reasons? Indian Point is an exceptionally dangerous nuclear power plant—the concerns of Hudson Valley residents extend far beyond the fact that the plant is in their backyard. Nuclear energy has a bright future as an immediately available, zero-carbon energy source, and it would be foolish to close Indian Point simply because it is a nuclear power plant: Obsolescence and specific circumstances have doomed Indian Point, not the viability of nuclear energy.

April 22, 2010

OPINIONS

Ron Paul not viable for 2012 election T

he year is 2013 and the reign of Obama is over. In a backlash against big-government policies, the Republican Party has triumphed to final victory, and the new president is the 77-year-old Ron Paul. In his first act as president, he has decided to disband the entire federal government.

Mission accomplished!

If that sounds crazy, it’s because it kind of is. But not according to Rasmussen Reports and their friends at Fox News and the rightwing blog-o-rama. Yes, much hay has been made of the recent poll, done by Rasmussen Reports, that shows current President Barack Obama checking in at 42 percent support for the 2012 election, and Ron Paul checking in at 41 percent. For an incumbent president to be tied with Ron Paul, the modern-day godfather of libertarianism—why, that can only mean that the backlash against health care reform was truly as severe as House Minority Leader Representative John Boehner (ROH) warned us it would be!

Not so fast. As Nate Silver of fivethirtyeight. com pointed out in a recent post on his blog, Rasmussen polls are notoriously skewed to the right, for the following reasons. They tend to assume more party identification with the Republicans than other pollsters do—the average of major pollsters is 9.6 points in favor of the Democrats, while Rasmussen has it at 3.8, though it can be argued that Rasmussen is biased against data from lower income households. And Rasmussen also uses an automated voice recording to conduct its polls, which, as Silver theorizes, attracts only people who are really intense about politics. Which, during this political season, is probably the Tea Party protesters.

Now this would be all fine and dandy, but I want to warn the Republican Party. Nominating Ron Paul for a presidential run would be absolutely disastrous. Let me first say that while I disagree fervently with Ron Paul and the libertarian ideology, I do respect the man

for sticking to his guns. His philosophy has always been small government—through Republican and Democratic administrations.

He wasn’t one of those Republicans who supported the Iraq war and then complained about our expanding deficit. Unlike Glenn Beck, he didn’t support the bailout and then oppose it when it became unpopular.

He’s stubborn, and I respect him for that.

What I do not respect is the libertarian philosophy, and it’s something that the vast majority of Americans will find themselves more incompatible with than Obama’s vision of government that works for the people.

While the Tea Party protesters may believe that they’re for small government, many of them rely on the federal government for subsidies and support. I truly believe that even the majority of Tea Party protesters will find themselves at odds with Ron Paul’s philosophy and non-interventionist libertarianism— if they find out what he stands for.

While Ron Paul may, through the intricacies and loopholes of the Republican nominations process, find himself as the party’s representative and public face in 2012, he will have a lot of trouble capturing the independent vote. No, I’m not talking about the “maverick” vote—the people who are so dissatisfied with both parties that they make a far-right turn and end up in Alaska. I’m talking about actual everyday Americans who are caught in between the parties, and unlike the far right, will actually pay some attention to the issues.

Even on the surface, it won’t be hard for centrist voters to come to the conclusion that Barack Obama’s center-left policies are better than hard-right libertarianism. In the public’s mind, the debate will be very simple during the fall of 2012.

Barack Obama engaged the world in multilateral diplomacy during his first term, getting us out of Iraq, fighting terror in Afghanistan and improving our image around the world. Ron Paul wants to withdraw from

Goldman Sachs fraud shows need for reform Joseph Hoffheimer

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Guest Columnist

n the past week, an increasing amount of disturbing news has emerged surrounding the invincible elitist Wall Street firm known as Goldman Sachs.

We already know politically-connected Goldman may have benefited from bailout bonuses, the demise of many similar but less-fortunate firms during the Great Recession, the continued support from conservatives who oppose financial regulation, and corporatist Democrats, the professional gamblers who arguably masterminded every bubble since the Great Depression, who took another turn when they literally bet against themselves in order to make greater profits.

According to the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC), the government entity responsible for regulating the financial giant, Goldman crossed the line when its mortgage division sold investments that it secretly intended to fail. Through what the New York Times labeled as credit default swaps— something neither average citizens nor Wall Street bankers can define— employees in Goldman’s glass tower, the most expensive in history, placed negative bets on mortgage investments, while leading outside investors

into believing that they would benefit.

In this case, I should emphasize Goldman as an organization, rather than the employees explicitly mentioned in the impending lawsuit, because the corporate attitude demonstrated by the firm shows they have no interest in anything beyond their bloated wallets. Rather than forcing implicated employees to answer tough questions in order to protect the company’s reputation and dissociate it from possibly criminal activity, Goldman remains on the defensive, seemingly believing that they are indeed too big to fail—that is, invincible.

After the recent scandal, Goldman’s eternal cockiness has grown in a way that can only happen at a corporation with ties as close as it has with such Washington figures as former CEO Hank Paulson, ally Tim Geithner—who had very strong ties with prominent figures at Goldman Sachs—and former White House Counsel Gregory Craig, whom the firm had hired to help fend off outside criticism, according to Politico. Perhaps these types of connections demonstrate how Goldman, in the face of now knowing about its fraudulent activity just as it did in the bailouts, continues to give away what the Associated Press has determined as $5.8 billion in recent bonuses.

See GOLDMAN on page 13

the United Nations. Barack Obama never hesitated to use the military to be tough on terror. Ron Paul wants the government to issue “letters of marque” which would authorize private citizens to go out and fight terror—which would inevitably give private military contractors like Xe, formerly known as Blackwater, more legitimacy.

Barack Obama wants to reform the tax system to increase equality of opportunity.

Ron Paul wants to eliminate the income tax system altogether, as well as eliminate most government agencies. Yes, that includes public schools.

In perhaps the most laughable example of libertarian economics gone wrong, Ron Paul actually believes in allowing the free market to regulate itself so as to protect the environment. That’s right, if the government just got off their backs, corporations would stop polluting the environment! Your daughter died of cancer because that factory put toxic chemicals in the river? That was just the free market doing its job. To be fair, Paul believes that regulation should be enforced primarily through tort law—but what good is that when you’ve already got cancer? No, regulations need to be in place to prevent such things from happening in the first place.

The crux of the issue is this. If the 2012 race ends up being Barack Obama versus Ron Paul, it will truly be a clash of completely incongruent ideologies. Barack Obama will represent centrism. Ron Paul will represent cold, cold libertarianism. Americans will look at Paul’s interpretation of Austrian economics and have to decide which is the greater crime: forcibly taking money from the rich, or allowing the hungry, ill-clothed, sick and poor to die for want of a basic standard of living.

—Steve Keller ’11 is a political science major editorializing on American politics this semester.

Goldman not to be faulted for financial risks

Page 11

What’s your favorite bathroom on campus?

“The one by the Rose Parlor is pretty cool.”

Alex Sarrigeorgiou ’13

“The Mug bathroom”

the band Buru Style

“Davison. They have shower stalls with locks.”

Nada Mohamed ’13

“The one closest to my room”

Will Serio ’13

Yi Tan

Guest Columnist

O

n last Friday, the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) mounted an allegation against Goldman Sachs Group, Inc., a Wall Street investment banking powerhouse, accusing it of fraud by claiming that Goldman intentionally misled investors into buying securities that were thought to devalue.

The deal under question is called Abacus 2007-AC1. It is a portfolio that largely consisted of synthetic collateralized debt obligations (CDOs), a kind of security that is believed to be the culprit of the 2008 housing market crash and the ensuing financial crisis.

The Abacus CDOs are highly toxic assets since their values are tied to the underlying toxic subprime mortgages whose risks are dangerously unpredictable. As financial intermediaries and market makers, investment banks like Goldman Sachs and Morgan Stanley often play the role of creating such securities and underwriting them to investors. A synthetic CDO deal often involves two counter-parties—one who invests in the underlying asset, which is a long position, in which profit is incurred when the value of the instrument rises, and one who bets against the value, a short position, which incurs profit See SACHS on page 13

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

“The first floor Rocky bathroom”

Emil Ostrovski ’12

“The bathroom near the Lehman Loeb”

Peri Akchurin ’12 —Kelly Shortridge Opinions Editor

OPINIONS

Page 13

Goldman must be held accountable for fraud, crimes

Finance giant not responsible for their clients’ risk-taking behavior SACHS continued from page 12 when the value drops.

In early 2007, Goldman was approached by hedge fund Paulson & Co., Inc to orchestrate a portfolio that would allow the hedge fund to bet against the housing market.

In a short word, Goldman let Paulson select the underlying assets of this portfolio that are most likely to lose value in Paulson’s opinion.

Then, they packaged the securities and sold it to investors like ACA Management and IKB Deutsche Industriebank, two investors that stood to lose more than $1 billion in this deal.

To simple minds and outsiders—like the film director Michael Moore, who filled his film Capitalism, A Love Story with inflaming anti-Wall Street anger and liberal political propaganda—this lawsuit might seem like another one of those dramas that have characterized the greed and pathology of the nation’s brightest brains. But how big really is Goldman’s role in the failure of its clients’ investments in Abacus?

To answer this question, let us imagine a simple analogy. Suppose all this happens in a real estate business where Goldman is the real estate agent and Paulson is the seller, while ACA and IKB are the buyers. One day, Paulson finds a house that has a small crack in the ceiling and makes a bet that the house will soon collapse because of the crack. To profit from this bet, they decide to “short” the house, which means that they borrow the house from the owner, sell it to some idiots, and when

the house falls down, they buy it back at a lower price, returning the house to the owner and walking away with premiums in hand.

So Paulson comes up to Goldman, who can make the market by finding some buyers for the house.

After some schmoozing and abetting, Goldman has convinced ACA and IKB to invest in the house without revealing the fact that the house has a crack. Meanwhile, Goldman also extracts huge amount of intermediary fees for the deal. Everyone seems happy until the day when the house eventually collapses and IKB and ACA find out that their investment is now worth nothing.

So here comes the lawsuit. The SEC’s charge of fraud rests upon the point that Goldman, as a market maker and intermediary, has not provided enough information to the buyers regarding the house and the motivation of the seller. The S.E.C. claims that Goldman misrepresented the position that the Paulson hedge fund took on the CDOs and thus duped IKB and ACA into bad investments. But as independent investors who claim to have leading experience and sophisticated knowledge in CDO investing, shouldn’t IKB and ACA also possess the basic capability of analyzing and evaluating CDO portfolios and tell the difference between potentially good and bad ones? In our analogy, should the buyer blame the real estate agent when they fail to find the small crack in the house on their own, especially when they have the access to expert appraisal?

Where is the fine line between the sloppy work of the market maker

April 22, 2010

and irresponsible purchase of the customers?

The core of this lawsuit really boils down to the legal concept of “materiality”—whether the disclosure of the counter-party information would potentially change the behavior of the investors. Whereas in our analogy the revelation of the crack would definitely change buyer behavior, the situation in the real case is different and much more complicated. In the real case, there is no hard evidence of the direction of the housing market. There is no “crack” to be found. What we really have are just two counter-parties betting against each other on the uncertainty of some financial assets. To the participators of the deal, the toxic nature of the CDOs, its damaging power to the economy and the housing market crash were largely unexpected.

Unless sufficient evidence can be found, Goldman’s destructive role in the deal is small. That being said, this allegation is not without its impact. In the first halfhour of trading after the suit was announced, shares of Goldman plunged by more than 10 percent.

As of April 20, the stock price has reached under $160, a fall of another 2 percent. Worse is the political backlash Goldman will encounter in Europe, where it used to be the leading underwriter of government debt and top financial advisors to policy makers. As politicians in the United Kingdom and Germany start to call on their governments to cut ties with Goldman, the firm might suffer a fair amount of loss in business in the near future.

GOLDMAN continued from page 4 It comes as no surprise that columnist Matt Taibbi, in a well-regarded Rolling Stone article foreshadowing the impending debacle, labeled Goldman as a “great vampire squid wrapped around the face of humanity, jamming its blood funnel into anything that smells like money.”

Perhaps, one could best describe the current state of the company as a vampire that sucks from its own blood yet masks its true character with a seersucker suit.

Only a corporation of this stature could get away with what amounts to betting against the competitiveness of the team to make greater profits, something that invites a comparison with the Pete Rose baseball betting scandal, when one of the game’s greatest players bet against his home team. Footage of Rose playing at his prime reveals a man who absolutely dominated the sport. He led the Cincinnati Reds during the “Big Red Machine” era, and nobody wanted to face him in a World Series during the 1970s. If anybody, he perhaps came closest to representing the Goldman Sachs of baseball.

Unlike Goldman Sachs, however, the people Rose represented– from either his team or the rest of the sport–did not sanction his illegal actions. As much money and publicity as he generated for both, his removal became imminent when the nation learned of his il-

legal gambling. Moreover, because his employers and the public realized he cheated, Rose to this day remains ineligible for the baseball Hall of Fame. While professional sports occasionally appear corrupt, even their leadership can have the decency to dismiss those with power who blatantly cheat. Goldman Sachs does not, which demonstrates why we have to count on the government for financial regulation.

One would hope that our nation had learned from the recent actions of Goldman Sachs but, unfortunately, recent Republican actions suggest otherwise. Two out of the five SEC members, both who happen to belong to the Republican Party, opposed suing Goldman, and the same holds true at the national level.

In Congress, conservative Democrats and literally the entire Republican Party, despite its frequent pandering to the allegedly anti-Wall Street Tea Party Movement, continue to support the lack of government regulation that has invited such debacles as the gambling that led to Goldman’s illegal behavior and, perhaps more significantly, the entire economic mess of 2008. To combat these sorts of problems, we must stand behind the passage of strong financial reform and, only then, can we once again expect legitimacy from Wall Street.

Crossword by Jonathan Garfinkel ACROSS 1. Format of bouts in the Octagon 4. High-speed connection, briefly 7. Plead 10. Org. for docs 13. Sr.’s group 15. Lead-in to “friendly” 16. “Same” prefix 17. “Of Mice and ___” 18. Icy track 19. Tuesday’s molecule of the day, perhaps (abbr.)

20. Radio button (abbr.)

21. What Snoop smokes whilst rolling down the

street 22. Run off 24. Despise 26. Actress Tara ____ 27. Bronte title heroine 29. Prefix with “game” 30. Musee d’_____ 31. Certain curve 34. XBOX live points 35. *String-pulling ability 37. “Hotel, motel, Holiday ___” (Pitbull lyric) 38. Drummer Ringo, and others 40. Degrade 42. “Tomb Raider” Croft, and others

Answers to last week’s puzzle

43. Judge 48. ‘59-’75 war, briefly 49. Daily prices 50. ___ Lingus 53. *Section now gone 56. Inca home 58. Director Welles, and others 61. Firm (in support) 62. Seattle outdoors co.

63. Author Joyce Carol _____ 67. With “out”, just barely make it 68. With “off”, doze 69. Don Draper for one 71. Cellular messenger (abbr.)

72. TV host Sajak and others 74. Big name in ballpoints 75. Deuce Bigalow, for one 77. Everyone’s favorite organic solvent 81. Break in the chaos 82. Certain citation style (abbr.)

83. Some window accessories, briefly 85. The Emerald Isle 86. Pie ___ mode 87. Car stat 88. DVD forerunner 89. Ms. Longoria and Ms. Mendes

90. Cam. type 91. Watch closely 92. “Is”, to Claudius 93. Annoyance DOWN 1. XY 2. Horned Darth ____ 3. Prefix with “naut” 4. Investigator (abbr.)

5. Haul 6. Cray-cray to Jose 7. Restaurant type 8. Deliberately avoid 9. *Is no more 10. Memory FAIL 11. Center barriers 12. Deliberately inoffensive 14. Cartoon Le pew 21. Fumble 23. Oglers 25. iPhone add-ons 28. Scripts, briefly 30. Cookie-creamcookie 31. Immigrant’s class, briefly 32. Ex-Soviet ending 33. Singer Bareilles 36. Harris of “Apollo 13” and others 39. Badass Johnny 41. Mark 43. Noah’s ride 44. Tree juice

45. Amtrak stop, briefly 46. Brain scan (abbr.)

47. L.A. to San Diego dir.

51. Paradise 52. Comedy Central’s “____ 911” 54. Soon, to Hamlet 55. Jefferson Davis’ domain, briefly 56. Mountain feature

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

57. The Clap, for one (abbr.)

58. “Are you a man ___ mouse?”

59. *It gives you wings!

60. *(So) alike 61. “Alias” 64. Like an acid trip 65. Involve 66. ___ Paulo 67. Eras

70. Oft-torn knee connector 73. High angled 75. Monopoly, for one 76. Wash, poetically 78. Bee’s crib 79. Times 80. Lounge about 81. ___ Vegas 84. Concord, briefly

HUMOR & SATIRE

April 22, 2010

Page 13

OPINIONS

The battle for the presidency Alanna Okun

Assistant Opinions Editor

S

o Vassar Student Association (VSA) elections are upon us. You’re all probably grappling with the difficult decision of who to vote for, especially for the illustrious position of VSA President. Will it be the doeeyed, steel-balled Stephanie Damon-Moore ’11, or the able-bodied Liz Anderson ’11, or one of two boys who didn’t live in my dorm last year ergo I don’t know who they are because I am lazy and possibly agoraphobic? The correct answer: none of them. I’d like to throw a proverbial monkey wrench into the works and tell you why I, Alanna Okun ’12, would be the best candidate for VSA President. My only experience with student leadership is whatever I fabricated in eleventh grade in order to get into the National Honor Society and my position as a member of the Josselyn Grouse Team*, but I have a plethora of great ideas to make Vassar the paradise we always knew it could be.

1. A spoon for every bowl

Exactly who do you need to screw at the All Campus Dining Center to get a spoon? The place is now officially BYOS. I mean, I knew the recession hit us hard, but I didn’t realize it necessitated the mass sell-off of crucial silverware. Don’t even get me started on the Great Cup Shortage of Two Days Ago. If elected president, I promise that never again will a Vassar student have to suffer the indignity of eating Lucky Charms with a fork.

2. BathroomEDU

In my hypothetical regime, all incoming freshmen boys must complete the online course BathroomEDU before they are allowed to matriculate. Lesson 1: Putting the Seat Down. Lesson 2: Remembering to First Put the Seat Up, You Drunk Fool. But don’t worry, I’m not being a scary post-neo-feminist and only picking on the males; women will have to pass their own version of the course as well. Lessons include The Sink: Not for Shaving Legs! and Using Your Own Face Wash Even Though It’s Not as Fancy as the Stuff in the Cubby to the Left. Don’t be discouraged if you don’t pass the first time; the program was my idea and I’ve failed the Not Singing Showtunes in the Shower at Nine a.m. section. Twice.

3. Student bands will be taxed heavily, especially the one that plays directly underneath my floor during naptime

This intrepid group of musicians seems to know exactly when my head touches my pillow for some long-awaited slumber. It is always the moment when they start playing “Don’t Stop Believing” at full volume. For every bad ’80s throwback song that rips through the delicate fabric of dorm silence**, the offending band in question will have to pay 50 Retreat points. And don’t get on my case about “freedom of expression blah music is great blah blah you’re in a wicked loud a cappella group, you hypocrite blah blah blah.” Seeking vengeance for personal vendettas is the hallmark of student government. When I’m in power, the bands will pay for their crimes against my REM cycles. Hahahahahaha!

4. Academic credit for going to the gym, ever

Not that contorting myself into pigeon pose isn’t my favorite way to spend a Friday afternoon, but mama needs a little something extra for her troubles (besides sore abdominals and a smug sense of accomplishment). Whenever I do manage to drag myself to the gym, there’s the usual cadre of muscled, gently glistening Adonises and lady-Adonises working out on machines that look like they were once used to great effect in Guantanamo Bay. However, most Vassar students do not fall into that category. Most of us are closer to the “soggy noodle” end of the fitness spectrum, and thus should be compensated for the enormous amount of effort it takes to first get to the gym and then to spend an hour pretending to look like we know what we’re doing on the elliptical. I think half a credit per visit in the department of your choice sounds reasonable.

As you’ve no doubt realized by now, my experience, innovative spirit and selflessness make me the ideal candidate for VSA President. Alanna in 2010: Vote for Okun, or your nose might get broken.

Editor’s Note: Alanna is not actually campaigning to be elected, and thinks that any one of the four candidates would make an excellent VSA President. This should be obvious considering this is the Humor & Satire section, but you never know with Vassar kids. Incidentally, I am the editor of this section. Hello. ­—Alanna

* Grouse Team is comprised of me and a bunch of other low-rent slackers who are neither Student Fellows nor elected officials. Our primary duty is to whine a lot, especially about the labor-intensiwve and well-thought-out decisions made by the legit House Team. ** That was a bitchin’ metaphor. Don’t tell me my English degree is worthless, Mom and Dad!

A post-hipster manifesto Kelly Stout

T

Features Editor

he Plaid Revolution: the post-hipster manifestoI’m pretty ironic. I’m so ironic, in fact, that I consider myself post-ironic.

You could say I’m so ironic that I do things with earnestness and sincerity. I apply for jobs, check my Facebook, do my homework, and wear plaid because I think it looks cool, and wear browline glasses because I can’t see.

If there’s one thing the entire world can agree on, it’s this: No one likes hipsters. But since few will admit to hipsterdom—unless of course, they’re doing it ironically—the “hipster” has become more of an I’ll-knowit-when-I-see it category than anything else, making it a hard group to target. As far as I’m concerned, hipsters get way too many words devoted to them in print and blog form, but when I set out to write this week’s Weekly Calendar (see below, amigos) I felt like I was ironically using abbreviations and Internet slang with no meaning. The jig was up on making fun of hipsters making fun of nonhipsters. I wanted more. I wanted to start a post-ironic revolution. And I have to say, I sincerely believe that sincerity is the postirony irony. It’s truly the only way to beat hipsters at their own game. Post-irony ironic earnestness will surely be appealing to current hipsters because it will be totally inaccessible to them. Like coolness, sincerity is something you either have or you don’t.

This movement will go beyond ironically applying for an internship at Citibank over the summer and ironically enjoying it. I’m trying to start a revolution of the masses. So, post-hipsters of Vassar College—and yea, the world!—I ask you to answer the call of the Plaid Revolution. To help us all get started, I’ve provided some tips for how to be earnest in an ironically post-ironic world.

•Burn mixes for your friends with Rihanna songs on them. Write messages like, “Only four weeks ‘til graduation?!?” on the covers.

•Send pix messages of cute animals to your housemates with captions that read something like “Can we please get one for the house?” Mean it.

•Join an a capella group and admit that you love it. Participate even during the non-ironic songs, like the ones by Fleetwood Mac that your group sings with hands to hearts and eyes welling with tears.

•Laugh at your own jokes every now and then.

•Admit with a sheepish-but-charming smile that your wayfarer sunglasses give you a headache, but you think they make you look

Weekly Calendar: 4/22 - 4/28

by Kelly Stout, Features Editor

THURSDAY, 4/22

11 p.m. Feminist Alliance Mug Night. Where Lady Gaga will

3 p.m. Tea. Would you rather…Rose Parlor.

be promoting her upcoming tell-all memoir about her sex life. The Mug.

5 p.m. Talk: Attorney General of the United States Eric H.

SUNDAY, 4/25

why laptops keep getting stolen from the Thompson Memorial Libez. The Chapel.

2 p.m. Main House Outdoor Party. Might as well be an invi-

11 a.m. Annual Robot Competition. This is an annual thing?

I have been MISSING OUT. Villard Room.

3 p.m. Tea. Always smell like the inside of ACDC or be re-

tation to budding hipsters to take ’shrooms and annoy everyone else all day. Ballantine Field.

from Across Poughkeepsie,” a panel discussion. Or, why your jokes about not having a job for next year are really insensitive, you entitled liberal arts a******. Faculty Commons.

MONDAY, 4/26

WEDNESDAY, 4/28

9 a.m. Storage Expo. Find out the truth about the most bor-

9 a.m. Storage Expo. For those who can’t get enough. Col-

ing thing on earth in The Miscellany News’s upcoming “Storage Exposé.” College Center North Atrium.

lege Center North Atrium.

3 p.m. Tea. Have to watch a 24-hour marathon of your peers’

quired to dress like Cappy every day of your life? Rose Parlor.

3 p.m. Tea. Be roommates with Lisa Kudrow in Romy and 8 p.m. Dancing with the Professors. I never thought I’d

ever write this sentence, but I would have preferred Rod Blagojevich. UpCDC.

SATURDAY, 4/24 8 a.m. Relay for Life. Coincidentally, this was the alternate

title considered for Sarah Palin’s upcoming tell-nothing memoir about her sex life. Noyes Circle.

stairs in Main or the one by the Media Cloisters in the Library? Rose Parlor.

6:30 p.m. “A Roof Over My Head: Housing Perspectives

Holder, Jr. Don’t forget to ask probative questions about

FRIDAY, 4/23

cool.

•When your younger brother calls you a “hipster” and makes fun of you for wearing big watches and having messy hair, blush and say, “I guess I do have a touch of hipster.” Recognizing that you’re a little ironic subverts the paradigm.

•Be nice to strangers.

•Post Facebook albums that remind your friends how much you love them. Avoid adding ironic Zs after everything or dotting the captions with ironic “OMGs.” For example, an appropriate post-ironic caption underneath a picture of you and your friends barbecuing in the sun might read, “I’ll never forget our trip to Vermont! Thank you for hosting us, Greg!”

•Wear your purple unitard only when you’re practicing your rhythmic gymnastics routine.

•Attend a ViCE concert and be honest about how much you enjoyed it.

•If a pre-post-ironic hipster offers you a rolled cig on your way back from the Art Library late at night, politely decline and earnestly tell her that you’re torn between the health of your lungs and how badass/tortured people look when smoking.

•Announce that you like MGMT to everyone in your media studies seminar.

•Rather than posting an obscure quote from a Nicholas Cage film on the “About Me” section of your Facebook profile, actually write something about yourself. For example, “My name is Kelly Stout. I write for the Misc. I love Swiss cheese and Woody Allen movies.”

•Purchase a Class of 2010 sweatshirt. Wear it.

•Move to Brooklyn post-grad because you think it will up your cool factor. Admit that the most Brooklyn-y thing you could possibly do is move to Brooklyn. Work at a highend cheese and olive oil shop, but only because you love Mediterranean food. Work at a literary magazine, but only because you actually like Paul Auster or Rae Armantrout.

•Wear L.L. Bean boots only when logging in Maine.

•Watch The Hangover with your boyfriend on Thursday night instead of Vertigo. Bonus! Admit that you fell asleep during Citizen Kane.

•Vote for the person you actually think would make a good Vassar Student Association President instead of submitting J. Edgar Hoover as a write-in candidate. Or go for the ultimate ironically post-ironic gold: Run for office yourself and actually try to get elected.

It’s time to start the revolution.

Michele’s High School Reunion or Meryl Streep in Julie and Julia? Rose Parlor.

9 p.m. Trivia Night. Question no.16: Have I started my re-

search paper that’s due tomorrow? Matthew’s Mug.

TUESDAY, 4/27 3 p.m. Tea. Lose your virginity in the bathroom under the

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

media studies installations without a break, or be subjected a 48-hour sophomore Composition reading? Keep in mind that you couldn’t be drunk for either. Rose Parlor.

5 p.m. “Freshman Fifteen.” Fifteen angsty poems about life in the Jewett’s tower??? I’ll see you there! UpCDC.

ARTS

Page 14

April 22, 2010

Flaming Lips: behind the balloons Sabini brings

lesser-known films to discuss

Esther Clowney Reporter

U

Danielle Nedivi Juliana Halpert/The Miscellany News

p until about 4 p.m. on Saturday afternoon, I planned on attending the Flaming Lips concert as a member of the general public. But when I got a call from a friend in Vassar College Entertainment (ViCE) looking for a few more people to dance on stage alongside the band, I couldn’t possibly say no.

The Flaming Lips put on legendary live shows, and I had the feeling there might be costumes involved. I was instructed to go backstage via a particular entrance at 9:40 p.m., at which point lead singer Wayne Coyne directed me to the “Dancer Room,” and I found myself integrated into what I’ll call “The Flaming Lips concertmachine.”

The whole production was regimented in neon orange. After signing a waiver and outfitting myself in full Yo Gabba Gabba regalia, Jake from the road crew led me and 19 other dancers backstage to wait for the start of the show.

“Where do you guys go next?” I asked on the way. Jake paused. “Umm,” he said, “That depends on what city we’re in right now.”

The Flaming Lips set began with each member of the band appearing from on high and ascending down an orange ramp, but I only knew this after the fact, when I saw photos. From backstage, all I could see were roadies inflating Coyne’s hamster ball. Once onstage, luckily, I was able to observe both the crowd and the band.

The Mid-Hudson Civic Center looked filled to capacity, a tribute to the amount of work ViCE put into organizing and promoting the event. The band opened with a banger, “The Yeah Yeah Yeah Song,” which asks, “With all your power, what would you do?” The Flaming Lips are a band with an unrelentingly positive message about the possibilities, and responsibilities, of individual action. The band’s crew released a barrage of multi-colored balloons, which looked beautiful bouncing through the arena. “It always seems like too many balloons at the beginning there, but trust me, it’s not,” Coyne said when the song ended.

Other crowd pleasers included “Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots, Pt. 1” and the rather pre-

Lead singer for The Flaming Lips Wayne Coyne performs during the recent concert sponsored by Vassar College Entertainment. The Flaming Lips performed at the Mid-Hudson Civic Center on April 17. dictable encore, “Do You Realize??” None of the songs stood alone. Each was accompanied by crew members rolling a new thing onstage, from a gong (which Coyne hit each time with a lovable expression of childlike glee) to smoke machines and a pair of giant laser-shooting hands.

The mechanization of the concert robbed the performers of any opportunity to improvise. When I talked to Coyne after the performance, he sighed about how heavy his laser hands are, and how his guitarist has to keep that particular guitar solo short. Even though the show seemed interactive, the ability of the band to react to the audience was infringed by their responsibility to their concert-machine.

Wayne Coyne talked about trying to create a meaningful moment for every audience, but he outsourced most of his work to gadgets. In 1998, the group had the bizarre idea of broadcasting the show over radio waves and having the audience listen through headphones.

I imagine that would have been exponentially stranger, but it demonstrates the goal of the band’s live performances, which is to tran-

scend the normal concert-going experience.

It’s the reciprocity of this dynamic more than merely the output of the performers that turns a good show into a great show. The Flaming Lips played a technically flawless set. Yet something about the band-crowd interaction struck me as false. The band’s five members, Coyne in particular, threw out plenty of vibes, but the energy output of the band itself was dwarfed by the efforts of the road crew. They let machines overpower their set, and then asked the audience to somehow respond with equal force. “Come On!” Coyne shouted several times, as if to coax the audience into giving back as much total voltage as the Flaming Lips concert-machine had released. But of course they couldn’t—they were up against confetti cannons and a human hamster ball, and were armed only with laser pointers. This dynamic added awe to the spectacle, but it didn’t create a relationship that really added meaning to the music. I’d like to see Wayne Coyne battle his own robots. If they ever turned against him, the man wouldn’t have a chance.

Student Band Union joins After Hours BAND UNION continued from page 1 to. It’s stuff that a broad array of Vassar students would like,” said Conant.

“I think the VSBU is here to make a quasimusic department outside of the formal one,” said co-founder Andy Dymond ’12. “It’s a place where kids who want to get better at music can learn from others with more experience, find people to play with, and have a good time,” he added.

After joining forces with ViCE, VSBU will not only act as the face of student bands at Vassar, but will also have the tools to grow, move forward and make things happen. According to Director of ViCE Peter Denny ’10, “The structure of ViCE places all the concert entertainment programming committees under one umbrella organization. They can then communicate easily and share the same resources.”

As far as resources go, equipment definitely makes the top of the list. Most Vassar bands struggle with limited access to sound systems and have a hard time transporting big, bulky instruments. “We want to purchase a drum set—a cheap one, a practice one, one that any registered member of VSBU could check out and use,” said Conant. Partnering with ViCE gives the organization a sound equipment hook-up and a budget, so renting more or better equipment in the future is a feasible option.

In addition to getting equipment and funds, being a certified VSA organization will also help VSBU publicize bands. “We have a committee of people who are there specifically to design posters and to table and to come up with creative publicity stunts that will attract more attention. I think everyone is interested in student bands, but they have to hear about it. ViCE does a good job of getting the word out,” explained Denny.

One way that the VSBU publicizes its own

members is through a multi-faceted online database created by Dymond that consists of three different blogs. The first blog acts as the VSBU homepage. It describes the group’s philosophy and exists as a place to post news and events. The next blog is a musician’s directory that lists students who have sent Dymond information about their talents and goals as musicians. To navigate this section, users simply search based on genre, instrument or any other musical keyword. The third blog is mostly for advertising: It highlights all the campus bands interested in playing live. The list could easily be used as a booking agent for parties, campus events and concerts .

According to VSBU enthusiast Ethan Buckner ’13, “As a freshman singer-songwriter without many connections to other musicians yet on campus, the VSBU’s new musician directory has addressed the issue that so many of us artists have in finding, say, the perfect mandolin-playing-fiddler-harpistdrummer for a show.”

In reference to the database, Dymond explains, “What’s cool about the blog is that it allows you to browse through and find out what the campus is interested in overall, find exceptions, and maybe find someone you can make something really cool with. I think that at Vassar we have a lot of creative people who don’t necessarily know what they’re doing yet, so browsing musicians and experimenting is a really important part of getting better as a musician.” To peruse the directory, check out campus bands, or contact Andy Dymond, search vsbu.wordpress.com.

Once musicians find each other, the next task is usually finding practice space, an issue the VSBU also plans to address. “We’ve thought about using [Josselyn House’s] basement as a practice space, but what we’d really like would be a room in Skinner [Hall of Mu-

sic]. We think it’d be a good thing for the Department of Music,” said Conant. “We want a room with a drum set and a couple of amps. I don’t think that’s too much to ask,” he added.

As far as shows are concerned, the VSBU has high hopes. What started out as a desire to raise the quality of Matthew’s Mug shows quickly turned into a list of new and creative concert venues. “One idea is to have an open mic night for singers and song writers every Thursday at Zorona’s hookah bar,” said Conant. “It’s awesome to get off campus, to have a show that’s not in the Mug, and to get to dance and have a good time,” he added.

This Thursday, April 22 will mark the first of these Zorona Thursdays, featuring three Vassar acts: The Giantman Band, Sharkwrangler and Anthony Parks ’10.

The Facts and Figures, a student band featuring Conant and Dymond, recently had a show at Babycakes Cafe--a testament to the VSBU’s community outreach ambitions. “The show was great, and it didn’t cost anything,” said Conant. “If you inject a little money into that type of show as far as staging and equipment, it could have been even better.”

Next year, Conant will vamp up on-campus shows by heading After Hours. He’ll leave room for singer-songwriters, but will also make a place for student bands. “We want to have staging and light shows. We want to do stuff with projectors and strobe lights and even have a show in 3-D,” he said.

Conant and Dymond clearly have big dreams for the VSBU, and they’re no doubt backed 100 percent by student musicians.

“I am so excited and relieved that an organization is emerging that is purely focused on supporting the interests of good, oldfashioned, Vassar-grown musicians,” said Buckner. Even though the VSBU is fairly new, they’ve definitely got the ball rolling in the right direction.

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

T

Reporter

he titles Citizen Kane and Gone with the Wind carry an aura of cinema’s golden age recognizable to most who have never even watched these films. Jamaica Inn and Air Mail, on the other hand, might cause even the biggest film aficionados to scratch their heads, despite the fact that the revered Alfred Hitchcock and John Ford, respectively, directed them. Friday, April 23 from 2 to 8 p.m. and Saturday, April 24 from 10 to 4 p.m., the Vassar Filmmakers will hold screenings of lesser-known classic-era films by respected directors, accompanied by a discussion with noted film historian Lou Sabini. Sabini will showcase three underrated films each day, describing their background and production process.

All of the movies will be in their original format on 16mm film and will come from Sabini’s private collection of over 1,000 titles. Sabini said of the films in the screening, “They may not be the most representative works of these directors.”

But such is the purpose of the screenings. When deciding which films to screen, Vassar Filmmakers President Kyle Porter ’10 initially proposed showing films even more obscure than the ones currently planned. Sabini, on the other hand, recommended veering slightly more mainstream for Vassar students. “I didn’t think it was a good idea,” he explained, “because many young people have not been exposed enough to black and white films in the first place,” which, Sabini laments, is a shame, and something he is trying to turn around with his lectures.

The films Sabini plans to screen will include Steam Boat Bill, Jr. with actor Buster Keaton, of which Sabini said, “It was pretty much his [Keaton’s] film. He told the director what he wanted.” Sabini will also show The Lady Vanishes by Hitchcock. He explained, “Rather than Psycho or The Birds, we’ll show one of his British films—before he came to the United States and entered Hollywood film. Those brought him to the United States.” Other films include Platinum Blonde with Jean Harlow, Hail the Conquering Hero, Dodsworth and Frisco Jenny.

An oft-asked question in film history is why certain movies, such as Casablanca and Citizen Kane, are praised today far more than at their debut, while other films fall into obscurity forever regardless of critical success. Sabini attempts an answer by acknowledging that much has to do with changes in society. “Some films are timeless because of content,” he said. “In many ways history repeats itself.

Films of the Depression and World War II seem timely today.” he added, alluding to the economic crisis and Iraq war, “But just a few decades ago, many thought World War II movies were jingoistic propaganda. Today we think they hold some truth.”

Using Avatar as an example, Sabini predicts that today’s hits may very well be reviled in a few decades.

Sabini commends modern classics such as The Godfather (“a masterpiece”) and The Graduate (“groundbreaking”), as well as lesser-known films such as Paul Newman’s The Verdict. However, he explained, “My interests tend to lie from the silent era up to 1950.” He says that this classic era of Hollywood is prime study material for aspiring filmmakers. “Today’s classic directors’ work comes from those golden age directors. Martin Scorsese learned his craft from [British ’40s, ’50s director] Michael Powell.”

Although Sabini’s passion for movies lies with Hollywood’s classic era, he waves away any nostalgic “they don’t make films like they used to” outlook. When asked why he thinks the older movies were better, he answered, “I’m not sure they were.”

He continued, “You have to remember, back then each studio made over 50 films a year. And there were lots of studios, including B-movie studios.”

He confessed, “Altogether, movies are probably better today. There was a lot of garbage back then.” Yet the wide array of films, Sabini asserts, meant there were also far more winners than there are today.

Whether black and white films are losing or gaining attention is arguable, yet Sabini falls on the more pessimistic side. “I think the status of classic films is beginning to slack off incredibly. Now there is only one TV station, AMC, that plays these films. It’s very sad.” Sabini wants his screenings and discussions to change this development. He said, “I hope people come just to be exposed to these great movies. They’re pretty much time capsules for a bygone era. Students might find some parts corny or hokey, but overall they will enjoy these films a lot.”

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April 22, 2010

Page 15

VHP, Music Squirm celebrates 10th Anniversary Dept to join A for benefit Thea Ballard Reporter

Jenna Konstantine

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Guest Reporter

rystal Tung ’11 has had to balance her commitments as a music major with her involvement in Vassar Haiti Project (VHP) this semester. However, this semester, Tung was able to channel both of her passions into an event that will be one of the most impressive and moving musical experiences of the year. The Vassar College Department of Music and the Vassar Haiti Project will present a benefit concert called Harmony and Hope: A Musical Bridge to Haiti on Saturday, April 24 at 7 p.m. in the Vassar Chapel.

“I thought, ‘Great, I can finally take advantage of my involvement in the Department of Music to help the Vassar Haiti Project make a difference,’” wrote Tung in an e-mailed statement.

The concert will benefit the Holy Trinity Music School in the Haitian capital, Port-auPrince. The school, which was home to Haiti’s only concert hall, was badly damaged by Jan. 12’s disastrous earthquake. Two of the school’s faculty members were killed, and many of the instruments and facilities were destroyed, though all of the students survived .

“Some of the students from the school also visited Vassar a few years ago, so we as an institution have even more of a connection with them,” Tung wrote.

The concert is co-sponsored by the Vassar Haiti Project and the Vassar College Department of Music. Key administrators of the event include Director of International Services and Special Projects Andrew Meade and his wife Lila Meade, founders and co-directors of the Vassar Haiti Project; Karen Murley, Department of Music concert administrator; Kathryn Libin, Music Department chair and associate professor of music; and Christine Howlett, assistant professor of music and director of choral activities.

“It is exciting to think of the opportunity to make beautiful music on our campus in order that music can once again enrich the lives of schoolchildren in Haiti,” said Andrew Meade.

He also said that the Project hopes to fill 1,000 seats at the event. Tickets are $10 for students, and a minimum donation of $20 for general admission. Donations of $50 and above will include admission to a post-concert President’s Reception.

“The money will go towards rebuilding the Holy Trinity Music School in Haiti, and that is our primary goal, but it’s also not what the event is all about,” Tung wrote. “We sincerely See CONCERT on page 17

row of 10 oversized prints of magazine covers adorns a right wall: The high-contrast images, cast in sepia tones, are for the most part close-ups of faceless models unhooking bras or reaching into their Vassar sweatshorts, dressed in fetishwear or not dressed at all.

It is 12:30 p.m. on a Saturday, and in celebration of their 10th anniversary, Squirm has taken over a pair of Kenyon Hall classrooms, which to the best of my knowledge have never seen this much exposed skin. Those present seem unfazed, eating sushi and chitchatting in small groups amidst piles of glossy magazines adorned with more nude figures. The group, a mix of about 25 people, includes students and alumnae/i from Vassar, as well as representatives from Bard, New York University and Harvard University’s respective erotica magazines.

Those assembled are here to celebrate and discuss Squirm’s past and present, as well as the greater purpose behind the magazine’s existence, which is more detailed than many seem willing to give credit to.

Squirm is Vassar’s hallmark “submissionsbased magazine about sex and sexuality,” as stated in its Vassar Student Association (VSA) description. In the words of Gretchen Heinel ’13, who will be the magazine’s treasurer next year, “I see Squirm as, ideally, a celebration of the varied sexualities on campus.”

“Squirm exists to promote a level of comfort on campus with sex,” added Heinel. “On its pages are pictures and words submitted by people who are comfortable enough with laying out their own sexuality in a very public manner.”

The magazine currently publishes once a year and hosts a number of events, including Hot Chocolate and the Sex Toy Auction. After 10 years of establishing and creating a place for itself within the school’s community, Squirm remains a bit misunderstood. “I think people have this idea that we’re, like, this crazy orgy club,” said Ally Brill ’10, the current editor-in-chief.

“It’s basically just a bunch of nerds in a room talking about sex, having a good time and trying to put out a magazine.”

Squirm’s start was not a huge stretch from this. Christine Fawley ’03 and Jason FleetwoodHumboldt ’01 were members of the magazine’s founding staff, and during the conference shared the story of the publication’s beginnings.

Vassar used to have an event called Homo Hop that protested the treatment of gay couples at dances. But by the time Fleetwood-Humboldt and Fawley were on the event’s committee, it had grown into something much wilder. The last Homo Hop in 1999, a sell-out “cathedral of sex”-themed event, devolved into such a drunken mess that it was shut down shortly after midnight. “The issue was that students were drinking because they didn’t feel comfortable enough with their sexuality to show

up sober,” said Fawley. “The question kind of became, ‘What kind of project can we do to create sexual expression that people can’t fuck up, that people can’t mess up with their own shame and their own guilt?’ So the idea of the magazine emerged.”

The first issue was published in spring of 2000, funded by the Queer Coalition of Vassar College (QCVC) and special VSA funds. Advertisements asking for submissions to he first issue included flyers that read, “Postmodern cock: a new magazine of smut and sensibility.”

The name Squirm came about in an unlikely way, after an original contributing member informed his father of his new extracurricular endeavor. “What are you going to call it,” the father asked, “Squirm?”

Of the first issue, Fawley said, “We kind of threw it together pretty quickly. We wanted to keep it not highbrow, highfalutin, but we wanted to keep it classy, not porn. We knew if we wanted to make it lasting, it had to have some academic weight.”

The magazine, after fundraising, guerillastyle marketing (including passing out issues to freshman tour groups) and adjustments to content, hit its stride on campus around its third issue, according to Fawley. “It went from this kind of experimental project to what we had planned on being: a full organization,” she said.

Hosting events also helped to solidify Squirm’s status on campus. The events served to both raise the magazine’s profile and show the VSA its ability to fundraise, making a case for its independence from QCVC. And they were successful: The Sex Toy Auction in its first year raised nearly $1,000, a figure that caused an astounded reaction among Squirm’s current staff; today, a great auction raises maybe half that.

Though the increased presence of Squirm on campus was a welcomed change, a sudden spike in publicity off-campus was a bit more problematic. For example, a local radio station offered free tickets to a concert for anyone who was able to bring a copy of the magazine to them, leading local high school students to come onto campus in an attempt to get copies.

Incidents like this raised issues of consent, as the publication’s circulation proved wider than originally intended. Squirm was originally conceptualized as exclusive to Vassar, and issues of consent and privacy for contributors were not taken as seriously.

Although it had its share of problems, Squirm was well-received. Fawley did recall one incident, in which an administrator took issue with an advertisement featuring a piece of student artwork subtly depicting two figures engaging in oral sex. The administrator’s explanation of why this was not okay was simply, “It’s oral sex,” to which Fawley replied, “It’s an etching.”

During the panel, Squirm’s current problems were compared with the positive experiences shared by the alumnae/i. Noted Julian Mundy ’13, “We were just talking about earlier a flier

that we had made. It was a really simple, just sort of ‘Submit to Squirm’—it was words and a pair of handcuffs. We couldn’t put them up in bathrooms. People tore them down.”

For Mundy, this is indicative of a larger problem within the Vassar community. “Honestly, it’s sort of troubling,” he said. “I came to Vassar under the impression that this was a really accepting school, and to a degree it is, but especially in recent weeks, there have been a lot of rumblings.”

Heinel added, “To clear things up, we don’t have orgies every week. We’re too busy trying to get money to print, since we like to keep our magazine free to the Vassar campus… For some reason not everyone is as comfortable with the organization that makes free erotica as I had imagined they’d be.”

Squirm’s presence on campus fills a muchneeded role for its members. Those who gripe about Vassar’s hookup culture after the inebriated weekend encounter may find truth in their larger message. “Something that’s really key to me, for a lot of people on this campus, sex is something that happens to them,” said Brill. “They don’t feel empowered to voice what they want in bed, or wherever they happen to be engaging in sexual activity. We want readers to come away from this saying, ‘I know what turns me on. I know my body. I feel comfortable as a sexual being, being able to voice what I want and give someone else what they want.’”

The magazine is also aware that, issue-to-issue, it does not represent the full student body.

Part of this is an issue of self-perpetuating content. For example, if one issue is heavy on thin white female bodies, then readers may assume that this is what is acceptable for models, and lose interest. But Heinel reminds that, for those who would like to see different body types featured, or greater variation in sexuality, or anything else, it is up to them. “We as a magazine rely on the campus to come forward with submissions,” she said. “If people want representation, we need them to submit!”

In terms of increasing diversity within Squirm, Heinel encourages men to come forward. “There are so few guys in the magazine!

This is strange to me since whenever I go on Chatroulette there are more than enough men willing to take it all off… but for some reason, on this campus women are far more comfortable submitting to Squirm,” she noted.

For Fawley, whether or not Squirm is the most popular publication on campus, and whether or not it is satisfying every reader, it provides an essential forum for its participants. “All on the pages are these dialogues, and that’s part of the reason for existing,” she said, addressing this year’s staff. “I would just encourage you all to keep documenting those conversations, like put it in the magazine. And maybe the next year part of that dialogue comes back. These conflicts are why the magazines exist.”

Dancing with Professors cha-chas back for second year Sydney Hessel Guest Reporter

K

yle Epstein ’10, president of the Vassar Ballroom Dancing Club, has his dance lingo down: “There’s Latin: salsa, rumba, mambo, merengue, cha-cha; and traditional American: fox trot, waltz, tango, swing,” he explained enthusiastically. But this week, student dancers are perhaps less on the spot than their professors. This coming Friday, April 23 at 8 p.m., the second floor of the Students’ Building will house Vassar’s second annual Dancing with the Professors event, a nod to ABC’s hit reality television show, Dancing with the Stars. Pairing student Ballroom Club members with faculty members in a collaborative learning and performing endeavor, this event will be the culmination of weeks of practice on the part of six couples.

The event began over a year ago when Epstein threw out the idea in a Club meeting.

From there, it was just a matter of finding professors willing to rumba and mambo outside of the confines of their offices and homes (where we suspect the urge to dance must on occasion strike them). Vice President of the Club

Mrin Patil ’12 commends the professors who have chosen to participate. “This is a really fun event. The professors really put themselves out there. I think it’s a real bonding experience and a brave thing to do,” she said with excitement.

Professors were not initially hasty in lining up to shake their stuff. Epstein detailed: “It’s definitely a fear on the faculty. A lot say, ‘I don’t know how to dance.’ Some professors say it’s something they just don’t do.” Patil added with a smile, “We had to go knocking on a lot of doors saying ‘c’mon, c’mon.’ One professor of mine even said, ‘Mrin, you’re a nice girl, but no.’”

Those who have courageously agreed to do what most only have nightmares about include: Professor of Classics Robert Brown dancing with Michelle Cantos ’11, Professor of Sociology Seungsook Moon with Alex Wang ’12, Associate Professor of Chemistry Christopher Smart with Katrina Mateo ’10, Associate Professor of Hispanic Studies Eva Woods with Alan Kenney ’13, Darrin Weaver—better known as TC—Chef’s Helper for Campus Dining Services with Patil and Assistant Professor of Education Maria Hantzopoulos with Epstein.

The couples have been hard at work practicing entire routines choreographed by students with input from the staff for around a month now. Some faculty who performed last year expressed an interest in participating again, but this year there are no returning professors.

This shouldn’t be an issue: Staff members do not need any dance experience to take part, and there are no judges as in the television show.

“The last performance is a culmination of a lot of the dancers’ growth. We’re not there to show off elaborate crazy moves, though of course they’re encouraged,” Epstein said. He and Hantzopoulos are especially thrilled to be performing a cha-cha to Outkast’s “I Like the Way You Move.” Hantzopoulos has some dance experience, but Epstein appreciates her eagerness most of all. “She’s been extremely enthusiastic,” he explained.

Hantzopoulos elaborated in an e-mailed statement, “I love to dance, though the only formal dance training I have is when I took flamenco in my late teens—and that was a long time ago. I have also harbored secret desires to perform as a singer, despite the fact that I cannot sing at all. Dancing with the Professors

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

is the next best thing I suppose—a relatively safe venue for marginally talented folks like me who have suppressed their inner diva (thank goodness).”

What you may be thinking at this point: aren’t student-professor couples kind of awkward on principle? After all, though ballroom dancing may not equal the level of lasciviousness you may discover (to your dismay or excitement) on a late night trip to Matthew’s Mug, the chacha-cha can get pretty sexy.

Epstein assuages any worries about these relations: “Since there may be that awkwardness in whatever theme or sequence you have, you just take a different angle, so it becomes a nonissue. Professors are people too at the end of the day.”

As the Ballroom Club puts it: “Thought your professor was cool in class? Well you haven’t seen anything yet. Come to [Dancing with the Professors] and watch them dance, dip and death drop like never before.” Skeptical? Check out last year’s performance on YouTube via the event Facebook page. You may find yourself wishing, surprisingly, that your professors busted out their moves more often.

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Choir will be performing Handel classic David Lopez

D

Reporter

Facts and Figures meet demand Connor O’Neill Reporter

I

t begins with a pulsing drum beat followed by a yelping voice. Then a scorching guitar riff comes in, kicking down the rhythm door and sweeping the listener into the world of “Internet,” the most recent song by The Facts and Figures.

The band, composed of Vassar students Ben Conant ’12, who takes lead vocal duties and playing rhythm guitar, Ricky Goldman ’12 on saxophone and backup vocals, Andy Dymond ’12 playing lead guitar, Jackson Pynchon ’13 on bass guitar and Erik Snow ’12 filling out the rhythm section on drums, has a foot-tapping sound, engaging vocals and a splash of funk. They cite The Hold Steady, Lou Reed and Neutral Milk Hotel as their influences, “with some jazz, blues and funkflavored sprinkles,” adds Goldman.

Taking shape organically, the founding sessions of this funky musical dessert began last fall when Goldman and Conant met as freshman and started tossing ideas around.

“As music lovers, we just started showing each other what we could do, just jamming,” says Goldman. After Conant shared the stage with Dymond during an After Hours concert, the two became three. Having filled out the higher registers, the band went looking for a drummer to round out the sound.

Snow, who was in the same Reading French Literature and Film class as Goldman, filled the void. The two Francophones also shared a similar taste in music, and the band then had a time keeper. It took only a month of rehearsals to get acquainted with the drummer before the band began playing shows on campus.

Something was still missing, however, and it wasn’t until Pynchon, a high school friend of Conant’s, came to campus this year that the band was able to flesh out the lineup. Says Goldman on the addition of the bass player, “Sure, we had a name when Mr. P joined us, but we weren’t really The Facts and Figures until he did.”

With a solidified lineup and a dedication to work on their craft, the band has

Kathleen Mehocic/The Miscellany News

on’t let the black dresses and tailored suits fool you; the Vassar College Choir isn’t for the faint of heart. All that diaphragm and vocal work would surely make most people need to take a breather.

This school year’s spring concert will feature George Frideric Handel’s “Israel in Egypt.”

As Choir tenor Alex McCoy ’11 put it, “It’s really impressive. Maybe because it’s so different from repertoire we’ve done in the past.”

“Handel took as his story the central story of the Jewish people, the events leading up to the Passover, the words quoted directly from the Book of Exodus,” wrote Lecturer in Music Drew Minter in an e-mailed statement. Minter, a voice instructor and Opera Workshop director, normally conducts the Madrigal Singers. For this semester, Minter is conducting “Israel in Egypt” due to his extensive knowledge and experience with Handel. “I have loved this piece for many years. I sang often as a soloist in it in the ’80s and ’90s. I’m known in the music biz for my association with the works of Handel,” wrote Minter. “I’ve recorded more than a dozen of his works (as a singer), and have performed nearly half of the operas and oratorios of Handel that exist.”

The piece is unique in its use of standard instruments to invent audible imagery. “More vivid material than the series of plagues and the parting of the Red Sea could hardly be found,” wrote Minter. “Handel employs endless pictorial devices: hopping string figures for the frogs, skittering figures for flies, an accumulation of notes that results in a deluge of falling figures for the hailstorm, and endless other inventions.”

Preparing for the concert can seem daunting, especially considering the work’s complexity. “‘Israel in Egypt’ has many choruses and seems kind of overwhelming, and it took us a long time to learn the words and notes. After that, we were really able to get into the phrases and meaning,” said McCoy. Instead of performing a recognizable piece, the Choir tackled the obscure under the careful guidance of Minter. “It’s a LOT of singing for the Choir. So in terms of stamina it’s a challenge,” wrote Minter.

“Minter has a lot of experience in Baroque music, particularly in Handel oratorios. He can be hard in rehearsals, especially about diction, but it’s all been helpful. Minter has been a good leader through whole process,” said McCoy. Although the pressure is on to put on a concert worthy of the epic exodus of 60,000 Israelites and iconic stories such as the parting of the Red Sea, Minter and McCoy are more excited than anything. “It’s not stressful. As with any Handel project, I learn so much when I take a piece up again. And the research is also fun,” wrote Minter. “There are always new things to learn about Handel’s composition process.”

“We have four-and-a-half hours a week of practice, all semester long. It can be a lot of rehearsal with all my other work. The experience has definitely been worth it,” expressed McCoy. “I understand what it was more like to be a singer in Handel’s time. A lot of music composed at that to time is usually never done today.” The Choir has only been practicing with the piano accompaniment, but soon the Vassar College Orchestra will begin performing with them in the days leading up to the performance. McCoy is thankful to have such a unique musical experience under his belt. “The experience to sing in such a big event is hard to come by or pass up,” explained McCoy. For those seniors who are preparing to sing one last time, the experience can seem bittersweet and they are happy to be performing such an impressive piece. “What a privilege it has been to know them and to witness their growth, and to participate in my small way in that,” wrote Minter. “We couldn’t do it without them, that’s for sure. They add so much with all their experience.”

“Israel in Egypt” is a positive musical and spiritual experience. “The music is very vivid and stirring,” wrote Minter. The beauty of such a concert is that it gives us an insight to an ancient world long-ago, but never forgotten. “There’s so much music out there that this is my first time doing anything like this. It allows you to understand what it was all like in Baroque period, at least musically,” expressed McCoy. “Israel in Egypt” by the Vassar College Choir will be performed on April 25 at 3 p.m. in the Mary Anna Fox Martel Recital Hall in Skinner Hall.

April 22, 2010

The Facts and Figures, pictured above, perform on the second floor of the Students’ Building.

The band has been successful traveling to and performing at gigs both on and off campus. been practicing three to four times a week ever since. With on-campus practice space at a premium, the band must scramble for a place to play, usually descending into the basement of Lathrop House to rehearse.

Tucked into a corner of the cellar, the band bumps elbows and writes songs with a laudable enthusiasm, and it is paying dividends.

Not only have they booked shows on campus, but recently they have been traveling to New York City for a few dates.

There is no doubt that the band is quickly growing in reputation. April is a busy month for the crew, which recently played a concert at Babycakes Cafe and is currently preparing to perform as the musical entertainment at the Relay for Life event next Saturday, April 24 and the Main Pool Party on Sunday, April 25.

The payoff has come not only in a rainfall of gigs, but in the form of a record deal. The local imprint Jam Session has offered The Facts and Figures a deal whose terms they are currently considering. In the meantime, the band remains focused on playing music

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MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

and honing their live sound.

When jokingly asked to describe the experience of seeing the band live, sharptongued lyricist Conant answered palindromically, “‘Satan oscillate my metallic sonatas,’ but more in the vein of ‘Do geese see God?’” All jokes aside, the band has a zeal for music and is consistently producing new material. Goldman commented on the songwriting process, “Usually [Conant] or [Dymond] will have an idea and bring a proto-song. [Pynchon] and [Snow] will work out the trajectory of the rhythm, and I’ll come up with a saxophone line that vacillates between melody, harmony and rhythm.”

The band encourages folks to come out to Noyes Circle on April 24 to see them perform and to support the worthy cause of raising money for the American Cancer Society. The band will be the afternoon entertainment for the event which goes from noon to midnight. More information can be found at relayforlife.org/vassarcollege and myspace.com/thefactsandfigures.

April 22, 2010

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Kick-Ass is shockingly brutal, intense Kick-Ass Matthew Vaughn [Universal]

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ick-Ass is a comedy that asks a simple question: What happens when your average dorky high schooler decides to become a superhero? Answer: When he tries to stop a carjacking in a parking lot, he gets stabbed by hoodrats and promptly gets leveled by a businessman’s car when he staggers out into the street.

Which is totally funny. Look at that kid in his ridiculous green and yellow wetsuit, gasping in pain as he stumbles around, clutching at the gaping wound in his gut and bleeding profusely. And then watching him get further bloodied by a speeding Honda is just the cat’s pajamas. Hilarious, right? Kind of? A little, maybe?

Harumph, harumph. Okay, I’ll admit that I laughed a little during the carjacking scene in Kick-Ass. But it was the same kind of laughter that you make when your girlfriend’s uncouth dad tells you a dirty joke when you come over for dinner: Forced, uncertain, squeamish and more a product of discomfort than amusement. On occasion, I would even glance around at the people sitting around me to see if they were as uncomfortable as me for reassurance, much like how I made nervous glances at Barbara across the dinner table when daddy-o wouldn’t stop guffawing about the nuns in the cucumber patch.

That’s pretty much Kick-Ass in a nutshell. It looks like a comedy, it sounds like a comedy and by golly it makes the occasional funny just like a comedy. But more often than not, the funnies are so dark, gruesome and just plain intense to the point where

it’s jarring. Black humor can be an amazing thing, but when the blackness begins to overwhelm the humor, things can get a little dicey. And when the humor turns into Quentin Tarantino-esque action sequences, it’s just plain confusing. To be honest, I just did not know what to make of this movie.

The exposition of Kick-Ass is promising enough. Peter Parker-inspired protagonist (Aaron Johnson) is a socially-inept nerd who decides to translate his love of comic books and desire to curb violence in his neighborhood by becoming a superhero.

Although his first attempt to curtail a carjacking ends in near-death, he actually gains somewhat of a power because of it: His nerve-endings become highly desensitized, meaning he has a higher threshold for pain.

He soon improves to become actually a mediocre crimefighter, and makes a huge splash around New York City as an iconic superhero. But it turns out he isn’t the first caped crusader in town, and soon his new superhero status gets him mixed up in a clash between the mob and a father-daughter team of vigilantes. Big Daddy (Nicholas Cage) and Hit-girl (Chloe Moretz) have a mission of avenging the death of a family member, who kingpin Frank D’Amico (Mark Strong) is responsible for.

The father-daughter superhero team is another great example of how jarring the movie is. The absurdity of a cheery 12-yearold girl who knows how to handle butterfly knives, can throw a shuriken with deadly aim and curses like a sailor is sort of within the realm of comedic safety. But when she begins slaughtering enemies without mercy, leaving a trail of decapitated bodies and pools of blood in her wake, the humor becomes a little bit problematic. Once again, the effect is more jarring than funny.

The action sequences involving Big Daddy and Hit-girl are also shocking because

of their pure intensity. No lie: You will be on the edge of your seat. That sounds like such a cliché blurb, but it’s true. The emotional undercurrent that runs beneath the deadly duo’s mission, coupled with the elegance and brutality of the choreography, packs a heavy punch. Layer on top of that a stylish soundtrack and the absurdity of the characters, and you’ve basically got yourself something on par with Tarantino. You heard me right. But as awesome as these scenes are, more than anything else it leaves you confounded. Scenes so slick and highoctane are rarities in actual action movies.

What are they doing in a movie starring Christopher Mintz-Plasse? You got me.

Kick-Ass also shoots for the Jean Apatow-style humor by making potshots at the protagonist’s awkwardness, masturbatory habits and attempts at courtship. The humor there is still of a discomforting and squeamish nature, but at least it’s what is expected from a comedy like this. It’s actually sort of comforting to laugh awkwardly at something because it’s relatable, and not because it’s gratuitously violent and involves someone exploding in a walkin microwave (I closed my eyes for many scenes…yeesh).

Kick-Ass can be a barrel of monkeys to watch. If you can appreciate a movie for some stellar narrative and some mindblowing action sequences, great. But if you look at the movie as a sum of its parts, I can’t in good consciousness say that this was a great movie. It was just too weird. And certainly not a wholesome Flaming Lips-sort of weird, mind you. Speaking of which, what an awesome concert! Wayne Coyne wrote me a happy birthday note; just sayin’.

Image courtesy of Global Connections

In addition to the concert, the Vassar Haiti Project auctioned off works of art by Haitian painters, similar to “La Bonne Recolte,” by J.B. Chery, pictured above.

Gilkyson, arranged by Craig Hella Johnson, “Sure on this Shining Night” by Morten Lauridsen, “I Have Had Singing” by Ron Jeffers and “The Storm is Passing Over” by Charles Tindley.

“Requiem” is a beautifully simple arrangement of a folk song by Austin, Texas folksinger, Gilkyson,” Howlett wrote. “The other pieces were chosen with the appropriateness of the texts in mind. I wanted the opening of the concert to move from a sense of grief we all feel for what happened

Artist: David Byrne and Fatboy Slim Album: Here Lies Love Label: Nonesuch

Artist: Coconuts

Album: Coconuts EP

Label: No Quarter

Artist: New Pornographers

Album: “Crash Years” [Single]

Label: Matador

Artist: Dr. Dog

Album: Shame, Shame

Label: Anti

Artist: NoMoreShapes

Album: Creesus Crisis

Label: Drip Audio

Listen live at wvkr.org

—Erik Lorenzsonn ’12 is writing a bi-weekly column on movies and their meanings. He is the Arts Editor.

Concert to benefit destroyed music school CONCERT continued from page 15 hope that people come and enjoy the music because much of the repertoire is thoughtprovoking and very relevant to the situation in Haiti—dire, but not without hope.”

The concert will feature hundreds of participants, with performances by nine musical ensembles drawn from Vassar College as well as from the Hudson Valley community.

The concert will bring together faculty-run groups such as the Vassar College Orchestra, Jazz Ensemble, Choir and Women’s Chorus and student-run groups such as Mahagonny and Camerata. The program will also include community ensembles such as the Cappella Festiva Chamber Choir and Treble Choir, two local choral ensembles; Eric Hepp, organist; Vivace, a selective string orchestra made up of highly-trained high school students; and the Strawberry Fiddlers.

Both Vivace and the Fiddlers are part of the Stringendo Orchestra School of the Hudson Valley. Conductors will include Howlett, Eduardo Navega of the Vassar College Orchestra, Jonathan Handman of Vivace, Susan Bialek of the Cappella Festiva Treble Choir, Women’s Chorus and Cappella Festiva, Mark Van Hare ’10 of Mahagonny Ensemble, and Nick Rocha ’11 and Emily Bookwalter ’10 of Camerata Ensemble.

“It’s a huge turnout in terms of performers,” Howlett wrote in an e-mailed statement.

The concert will begin with a prelude of Samuel Barber’s “Adagio for Strings” performed in an arrangement for organ by Eric Hepp. All of the choral ensembles will then sing a group of pieces together. These pieces will include “Requiem” by Eliza

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to a sense of hopefulness.”

The choirs will also sing with the orchestra at the end of the concert. “It’s a ‘cast of thousands,’” Murley wrote. “The program will be both hopeful and thankful.”

Specific information about performers, including a quote from the community group organizer, can be found on the Vassar Haiti Project’s blog: http://blogs.vassar. edu/haitiproject/. Tickets will be available in advance at the College Center Information Desk in Main Building.

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

New York City Edition Owen Pallett Webster Hall Thursday, April 22, 8 p.m. $20 The Arcade Fire, The Mountain Goats, Grizzly Bear, Beirut, Mika: each of these major rock bands have incorporated the string arrangements of Owen Palett in their music. The violinist has spent the last ten years contributing to the projects of other indie leviathans, but he has also recorded his own unique material under the name Final Fantasy, and his latest work Heartland was released under his own name to critical acclaim. But even more renowned than his recorded work are his live performances, which feature Pallett, a violin, and a loop pedal: nothing more. Extra Life and The Luyas will open.

—Erik Lorenzsonn Arts Editor

Owl City Terminal 5 Saturday, April 24, 2 p.m. $20 You probably know Owl City even if you think you don’t. His single “Fireflies” tore up the radio airwaves, peaking at number one on the Billboard Hot 100 Singles. The man behind the song is Adam Young, who began making synthpop music in his basement in Owatonna, Minnesota to deal with insomnia. Through word of mouth and his MySpace page, Young soon found himself with a small following, which soon earned him a record deal. Now Young tours as Owl City with the likes of Reliant K, who provides backup vocals for his Postal Service-esque jams.

—E.L.

SPORTS

Page 18

April 22, 2010

Vassar teams complete weekend games Andy Marmer

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Ethan Shanley Guest Reporter

M

iscellany News: First of all, tell me a little about yourself. Where are you from?

Jon Martin: I was born in Cincinnati, Ohio.

I’m a diehard Cincinnati Reds fan. When I was six years old, I moved to Virginia Beach, and I lived up in Virginia Beach the rest of my life. I thought I was going to be a football guy coming out of high school and looked at a lot of opportunities to play football at a larger school, but then ended up playing Division III baseball. I also played baseball in high school and went to Lynchburg College in Virginia.

Small school, about the same size of enrollment as Vassar, and it’s in the Old Dominion athletic conference. I was a pitcher there for four years. I had a great career and a great time. After I finished playing, I wanted to get into coaching, so I stayed there for two years and went to graduate school. I was an assistant coach and finished my master’s. I saw that there was an opening at Vassar for an assistant job, and I applied for it. I was fortunate enough to get it, and I’ve been here ever since.

MN: How long ago was that?

JM: This is my seventh year at Vassar. This is my fifth season as the head coach. My first season I was an interim head coach, so this is really my fourth full one as a full time head coach.

MN: And how has the season gone thus far?

JM: We’ve made some big time improvements from the last year—the last two years— with the addition of some players and obviously the new facility [Prentiss Baseball Field] has helped. We’re not playing bad baseball right now; we’re playing smart baseball. Most of the mistakes that we make right now are just simple physical mistakes that happen throughout a game. Baseball’s a game where you don’t practice the oddball plays, you don’t practice the diving play in the hole for a ball, you practice the routine plays. And it seems like some of the balls that are getting hit are just out of our reach, or we’re diving and knocking it down, but we can’t get up and make the throw. So those are some of the things. There’s a lot of luck involved. There’s a lot of chance involved. That’s the game. And it seems like right now—I mean, we still have 16 games left—but it seems like right now that the luck is on the other side right now and not our side. But we’re playing well. We’re not playing a bad brand of baseball right now.

We’re making a majority of the routine plays, our pitchers are throwing strikes, and as a team we’re hitting over .300. Like [April 14] we left a lot of guys stranded on base, and we didn’t score them, and we needed to. And we had nine or 10 hits in the game but they were like singles that didn’t add up to runs. So a little more luck, a little more making a play here and there to kind of eliminate a big inning and timely clutch hitting is really what we need.

MN: So what are your goals for the rest of the season?

JM: Win as many games as possible. Win as many games as we possibly can and finish the season on a high note. We have [12] games left so we’re just over the half-way mark. We have a tough schedule from here on out. [Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute] [this] weekend and they’re a good team. So I mean we have to See COACH’S CORNER on page 19

Image courtesy of Sports Information

Jon Martin talks baseball with the Miscellany

Sports Editor

omen’s lacrosse: April 16, Vassar 15 Clarkson University 14; April 17, Vassar 15 St. Lawrence University 19 This past weekend, the women’s lacrosse team made the trek to northern New York state for a pair of Liberty League contests. In both matchups the Brewers fell behind early only to battle back. Vassar trailed Clarkson 11-6 after a Clarkson goal with 23:52 remaining in the game. Four different Brewers scored the next four goals of the game in a 10-minute span to cut the deficit to one. The two teams traded goals over the next five minutes with Vassar trailing by two with eight minutes to go in the game. With 7:57 left in the game, Allie Morgan ’11 put one in the net off of an assist from Liz Pacheco ’10. Larisa Lasko ’10 then tied the game at 14 with 3:46 to go off an assist from Sarah Warner ’11. Lasko also netted the winner with just four seconds to go, assisted by Moe Byrne ’11. The Brewers were led by Warner, who notched five goals and four assists on the day, along with Morgan, who scored four goals. Goalie Heather Kesselman ’12 recorded three saves in the waning minutes without allowing a goal to pick up her second win of the season.

The following day, Vassar fell behind 7-0 early against St. Lawrence, only to battle strong until the end and fight back to within four, the eventual margin of defeat. Warner led Vassar with four goals, while Byrne notched three of her own.

Ryan Hart ’11 carries the ball during an away April 10 game against Hamilton College. The Brewers fell 10-5 to Hamilton. The game was followed by a 11-7 loss to St. Lawrence University on April 16. each). London’s 17 points helped to thwart a late Marist’s comeback attempt, and helped to avenge the Brewers’ fall-season loss to Marist.

in each match, without dropping a single set.

Next weekend, the Brewers will travel to St. Lawrence University for the Liberty League Championships.

Last Friday, the men’s lacrosse team hosted St. Lawrence. Midway through the third quarter, Vassar trailed by just one, 6-5, but the Brewers were able to muster just two goals the rest of the way as St. Lawrence scored three in a row en route to the victory. Christopher Toffoli ’12 scored his first career hat trick (three goals in a game) for Vassar.

Women’s rugby: April 16, Vassar 34 Siena College 7

Baseball: April 17, University of Rochester 13 Vassar 11

Freshman Laura Howard scored four tries for the Brewers, just two away from the school record of six, in leading Vassar over Siena.

After the Brewers fell behind 7-0 in the early going, they scored 34 unanswered points en route to the victory.

Men’s rugby: April 16, Vassar 32 Marist College 26

Women’s tennis: April 17, Vassar 9 Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) 0

The men’s rugby team defended the Vassar Farm, defeating local rival Marist College 32-26. Jake London ’10 led the Brewers with a try (worth five points), two penalty kicks (worth three points each), both in the waning minutes, and three conversions (two points

Playing in her final home match, senior Nicole Pontee ‘10 led the Brewers over visiting MIT 9-0. Playing at no. 1 singles, Pontee, the no. 8 ranked player in the Northeast, dismantled her opponent, the no. 7 ranked player in the same region, 6-0, 6-1. Vassar prevailed

After losing the first three games of their series to the host Yellow Jackets, Vassar staked themselves to an 11-8 lead entering the ninth inning. Needing just three outs to hand the no. 23 ranked team in Division III its first Liberty League loss in 16 games, pitcher Zachary Prudoff ’12 retired two of the first three batters in the inning. However, two more walks, a hit batter, a triple and a double given up by Prudoff and Scott Allen ’12 provided Rochester a 13-11 lead they would not relinquish. Joe Castilla ‘11 led Vassar, going 3-4 on the day, while teammate Liam Lee ‘12 stole home twice Sunday.

Men’s lacrosse: April 16, Vassar 7; St. Lawrence University 11

The next Jordan: Kobe or LeBron?

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or years, basketball fans have religiously awaited the second coming of the great Michael Jordan. We have repeatedly attached the label of “the next MJ” to so many players, none of whom have lived up to the hype, failing either in terms of individual ability or team success. But now, in the midst of these 2010 NBA playoffs, we could be the closest we’ve ever been to finally having such a player in the league.

The present-day frontrunner for the title is, unsurprisingly, LeBron James of the Cleveland Cavaliers. Everyone it seems has jumped onto the boy king’s bandwagon, rightfully expecting unbridled greatness from the shoo-in 2010 MVP. LeBron easily has more potential than any past candidate. Old frontrunners like Penny Hardaway, Grant Hill and Tracy McGrady were all humbled by injuries. Jerry Stackhouse and Vince Carter never even came close, and everyone has long forgotten the fiasco that was Harold “Baby Jordan” Miner. Even just a few years ago Dwyane Wade looked like he would carry the torch, managing to secure the first and only Jordan brand sponsorship which allowed him to wear MJ’s own shoe line. But since then, Wade has somehow stalled, not developing to the heights needed of such a megastar, allowing LeBron to take over the mantle. However, I can’t help but feel that amidst all this King

James hoopla we are all overlooking the player closest to the goal: Kobe Bryant of the Los Angeles Lakers.

To truly be compared to Michael Jordan, a player must not only be incredibly dominant on the court, but also unnaturally competitive and incomparably successful. Bryant fits that definition better than anyone out there. He’s got Jordan’s competitive spirit, even forcing himself to play an entire season through a fractured right index finger, a bum knee and injured right ankle. Apart from his individual statistics, which easily put him in contention for MVP honors, he also led the NBA with six game-winning shots, a category Jordan also excelled in. Most importantly, Bryant enters this year’s playoffs with four NBA championships, four more than LeBron and just two away from Jordan’s mark of six.

Going into these 2010 NBA playoffs, Bryant is hurtling towards basketball immortality. Despite Bryant’s prowess, pretty much all of the NBA pundits have written off his Los Angeles Lakers’ title chances, questioning his health and saying that his team fell off track at the end of the season. With the odds stacked against him, Kobe has the ultimate platform to show that he belongs in that conversation with Jordan, and at age 31, his window of opportunity is closing. Bryant simply needs to win the championship this year. Doing so

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

would put him just one NBA ring away from serious consideration as the best of all time.

Unfortunately though, it seems that this storyline has been forgotten by fans enthralled by the idea of James challenging for his first championship. While James undoubtedly deserves the attention, NBA fans are missing out by not understanding the extreme significance of these playoffs for both LeBron and Kobe. If Kobe’s Lakers win, we will be half a step away from finally accepting that we are witnessing the new NBA messiah. If, though, James’ Cavaliers win the championship, then we will have to accept that only LeBron legitimately remains in contention for the title of greatest ever, however far away he is from that distinction. And if neither wins, then we might just have to accept that the prophecy of a new Jordan is still far from being realized, and James and Bryant might have to be grouped with Dwyane Wade as has-been contenders.

Whatever the outcome, of this postseason all I know is that I will be glued to the television hoping to witness history. I was unfortunately too young to truly understand the significance of Michael Jordan’s sixth title with Chicago and his impact on basketball, but I am not too naive to miss the significance of these playoffs and their potential ramifications for basketball history.

SPORTS

April 22, 2010

Dollar signs compromise NCAA Andy Sussman

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Guest Columnist

or a business that depends on fan viewership and attendance, the NCAA sure has little regard for these fans’ opinions. For nearly a decade, a majority of fans have supported a playoff to determine the college football champion rather than one championship game determined by computers. However, the NCAA has stuck to its guns, coming up with a litany of reasons why at the moment the idea of any sort of playoff would be impractical.

While most fans want a college football playoff, just as many do not want any change to the NCAA basketball championship. With college basketball’s popularity at an all-time high, it is all but official that the NCAA will expand the current 65 team postseason field to 96, giving the top 32 teams first round byes. However, the NCAA does not care about what the people want because they know that they can make more money playing more highprofile games. And frankly, that is what the NCAA is, a purely for-profit machine.

Every president and board member of the association can ramble about how they are simply looking out for the best interest of the student-athletes, but that is downright false.

The only people who benefit from a 96-team tournament are the employees of the NCAA and coaches of second-tier programs. With 50 percent more games to

be played in March Madness, the NCAA can get significantly higher attendances and higher revenue from both sponsors and television deals. Also, more coaches are likely to keep their jobs for making the tournament even if their results are exactly the same as they were when their respective teams did not make the “big dance.”

This is all well and good for the head coaches, but as a college basketball fan, I am adamantly opposed to such expansion. One popular argument for having more teams in the NCAA tournament is that the percentage of Division I schools which make the basketball championship tournament is significantly less than that of Division I teams that make postseason bowls. This reasoning is flawed on multiple levels. First of all, right now there are three postseason college basketball tournaments that are not the NCAA tournament, which has a total of 64 more teams.

If the tournament expands, will there really be a need for the College Insider Tournament? So it’s entirely possible that that there will be about the same number of teams playing postseason basketball when all is said and done.

Also, in college football, only two teams have a chance to win a championship after the regular season ends, as opposed to 65 in basketball. Furthermore, nearly every basketball team has an opportunity to win its conference tournament to automatically gain a berth into the NCAA

tournament. So a football team such as Texas Christian University (TCU) or Boise State University not having a chance to win a championship despite going undefeated last year is akin to a mediocre Virginia Tech team not making the 65-team NCAA field? According to the NCAA, Virginia Tech basketball has more of a right to the championship than TCU. In addition, with the top 32 teams getting first round byes, there is no longer a level playing field, and the underdog upsets that the public immensely enjoys will be far less likely to occur.

In his mock bracket for next year’s projected 96-team tournament, ESPN college basketball expert Joe Lunardi had all twelve Atlantic Coast Conference (ACC) teams in the field. To put that in perspective, last season the ACC had seven teams that made the tourney, and that was relatively high for the conference. So more big-money programs will be able to stroke their egos by flaming out in the first round against some slightly less mediocre program in a 16-17 seed matchup.

How is this supposed to be good for the tournament? As it was, this past year, the committee had a tough time finding enough teams qualified to play in March Madness. However, the NCAA does not care what I or any other fan thinks because they know that we will still go to games and watch them on television. As Jerry Maguire said: “Show me the money.”

Baseball team seeks hard-fought wins COACH’S CORNER continued from page 18 show up and play. Play hard, and realize that even though it’s a short amount of time there’s a lot of games packed into those next couple weeks so we need to maximize our potential and really finish the season on a high note.

MN: Can you guys still make playoffs?

JM: Yeah. We still can right now. It’s really too early to tell in our league. We play 24 conference games so we’ve [played 16], so everything is still up in the air right now.

Nothing is set in stone right now. After this week, more of a picture will be painted for us, I think, as kind of who can get in, who can’t get in kind of thing, but right now it’s still wide open. Long way to go.

MN: Have you guys had any key wins this year?

JM: I mean, our first win of our season was a big one against Salem State College of Massachusetts which is a very good team. We beat them down in Florida 13-9, and we just played. We pretty much played a perfect baseball game, and we were able to beat them, and they’re a very good team. We had a win against Skidmore College that was big. We beat their ace, their no. 1 pitcher who is a top pitcher in the

conference. And then our last conference win against Clarkson University this past weekend was good. After losing the first three, we bounced back and won the last one and it was good to see that.

MN: Are there any players who have played particularly well this year?

JM: Ari Glantz is a senior outfielder, and he had a minor injury the first couple weeks of the season, but he’s been hot lately. He’s player of this week in the Liberty League. I mean, he’s hitting the ball, stealing bases and making plays in the outfield. He’s one of the better players in the League for sure. And then, freshman Mike Perrone, shortstop, is really hitting the ball well. He’s hitting over .380 right now I think, and stealing bases. He’s stolen about 12 bases. And he’s only a freshman, so he’s just getting started. He’s going to be a great player for us. Our pitching staff, I mean we have a freshman, Lawrence Flicker who is from Florida, who is throwing the ball real well—a lefty, kind of a Tom Glavine-type guy. He hits his spots, mixes up the speeds well and throws a ton of strikes. He threw a great game last weekend. He’s had a good start just about every one out. It’s been much more of a team effort this year. We

haven’t had one or two or three guys that really kept us going. Everybody is contributing here and there. It’s good when you have a team that knows their roles, know what their job is. When they show up every day like, “This is what we need to do, this is what my part is going to be on this team, and this is where we’re going to be,” and that’s big. That’s big for us. So we’ve had some good individual performances so far, but it’s been a team effort for the most part. Everybody is doing their thing.

MN: Anything else that I haven’t covered?

JM: We’ve got a good group of guys here, and they love to play. We’ve been very fortunate with the weather so far, and it’s been nice weather. It’s been a fun season, and we’re having a good time with it, and we’re working hard. We’ve set our own team goals and our own personal goals, and I think that with 16 games left, if we play well, prepare and show up to play, then we can accomplish a lot of those goals. This is a good team. This is definitely a good team, and we’re building; we’ve been building.

We’re finally starting to break ground, and we’re moving in the right direction which is a good thing to see.

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Page 19

National League East predictions set season’s tone Adam Newman

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Guest Columnist

hile the American League East looks to be a twohorse race between the New York Yankees and the Boston Red Sox, with the Tampa Bay Rays playing the role of possible dark horse, things are nowhere near as predictable in the National League East. Aside from the Philadelphia Phillies, who continue to steamroll their competition, this division is open to a host of possibilities. Will Bobby Cox finish off an illustrious managing career in Atlanta with one last pennant? Will the New York Mets return from their season on the disabled list? Will the upstart Florida Marlins surprise everyone once again? Questions abound and definite answers are hard to come by, but let’s look to the teams and see what we can expect in this next season of National League baseball.

Philadelphia Phillies

After two straight World Series appearances (including one World Series title) and three straight National League East Division championships, one might think that the Phillies couldn’t get any better, but they seemingly have with the addition of Roy Halladay. Though they lost pitcher Cliff Lee this season, Halladay, the premier pitcher of this past off-season market, should prove to be a significant upgrade. Between adding an ace of Halladay’s caliber and inserting power-hitting third baseman Placido Polanco into what was already the National League’s number one lineup, the Phillies certainly have a recipe for yet another World Series appearance on their hands. Barring any major injuries to key players, even another bad season from Cole Hamels or Brad Lidge won’t be enough to keep the Phillies from cruising through the season and being a powerful contender when fall comes around.

New York Mets

After a season marred by injuries to virtually every major player, the Mets face the big question this season of whether they can manage to stay healthy. If they can, though, they look to be right in the playoff race, with David Wright, Jose Reyes and Carlos Beltran anchoring a lineup that has been bolstered by recent additions like outfielders Jason Bay and Jeff Franceour. The biggest question, aside from health, will be the starting rotation, which is still young and rather shaky. But if pitcher Johan Santana is not alone in providing quality starts, this team might just have a shot at the wild card, along with the Atlanta Braves and Marlins, but they’ll have to prove themselves before anyone seriously considers them pennant contenders.

Atlanta Braves

In what looks to be Bobby Cox’s last year as manager of the Atlanta Braves, the question is whether he will go out on a high note or a low note. While they were able to ride their excellent starting pitching to a respectable finish last year, the Braves leave it to be seen whether they can continue their unexpected resurgence. This past offseason saw the departure of rotation lynchpin Javier Vasquez, but they also managed to add Billy Wagner at closer, and hopes are that Melky Cabrera and Troy Glaus might be able to take some of the pressure off of an aging Chipper Jones and provide enough of an offensive boost to propel this team to a wild card berth.

Florida Marlins

Over past few years, the Florida Marlins have proven time and time again that no matter how small the payroll, a team can still be in it until the end with cheap young talent. And though they will have some serious competition from the Phillies, Mets and Braves, the Marlins are likely to put up quite the fight. Hanley Ramirez, Dan Uggla and last year’s Rookie of the Year Chris Coghlan look to continue their impressive offensive production, and Josh Johnson should continue to dominate on the mound, leading the Marlins into the thick of the wild card race.

Washington Nationals

Though the Nationals managed to add future hall-offamer Ivan “Pudge” Rodriguez behind the plate, I’m doubtful that even this talented a team of youngsters will be able to pull it together and finish anywhere but last place this season. The youthful Ian Desmond and Nyjer Morgan add to the proven talent of Ryan Zimmerman, who is coming off of a Gold Glove/Silver Slugger, and All-Star season, but I don’t think this team has enough to do much more than finish in the basement, yet again for the third straight year.

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

SPORTS Men’s tennis sweeps Liberty League crown Page 20

April 22, 2010

cal, and at that point, half-way through doubles, I knew we were going to take it.”

Beyond any specific match, Arthur believes that it is the team’s Zen mixture of focus and fluidity that contributed to their uncontested dominance. He says, “The most surprising thing was our focus. There was a lot of pressure and expectation, and I was worried that we would respond to that by being tight and nervous. On Saturday we had played tight and nervous, and I was worried we’d continue with that, but we showed right from the start of doubles that we were going to win and take the expectations and roll with them.” Through their network of internal support, arduous preparation and unshakable conviction, the Brewers were destined to prevail.

The day was not at a loss for few nail-biting moments. Mattelson remembers overcoming a mild injury in the name of triumph: “My shoulder was hurting a little bit, so I couldn’t serve 100 percent. I was serving in the second set, and I didn’t want to hurt my shoulder, so I was serving very softly that game and he broke me early, but the very next game on his serve I won four points and the match. It was incredible to be able to have enough confidence in my game that I can take it easy on my shoulder and then step it up.”

Looking forward, the team is gritting their teeth in preparation to take nationals by storm.

“Winning [Liberty Leagues] is entirely important,” says Arthur, “but our entire season is based on the fact that our expectations of ourselves is that we’re in it to win a national title.”

The Brewers still know how to celebrate a well-deserved win. Donahue recalls the immediate aftermath of the championships: “Afterwards we had a little sparkling cider fight and that’s kind of when it [the victory] sunk in—as we were running around soaking each other.”

Donahue hopes that this sudsy moment of supremacy will carry into future competitions.

Mitchell Gilburne

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Sports Editor

Image courtesy of Sports Information

s finals creep up on the rest of us, spring athletes have an entirely different beast on their minds. Victory at the Liberty League Championships opens the door for a shot at nationals and glory beyond the boundaries of Division III. Thus, schools across the division select their champions and condition them for what could be the final bout of their season.

Taking a Liberty League title requires skill, determination and a small serving of luck. In order to be confident going in to this challenge, a team must balance on their experience and stand poised to strike hard, fast and mercilessly. Luckily for Vassar, the men’s tennis team, led

by Captain Michael Mattelson ’10, sure packs a wallop. On Sunday, April 18, the Brewers swept St. Lawrence University 9-0 at the Josselyn Tennis Courts. While an avid follower of the men’s tennis team would be aware of their considerable talent, a full sweep is always an unexpected pleasure.

The Brewers, however, were not surprised by their victory. Entering the championships with high expectations and higher confidence, the Brewers knew that they were the team to beat. Senior Jeremy Arthur reflects on his pregame mental state: “The thoughts coming in [this year] were a little different than normal.

In previous years—and I think I speak for the team here—I’ve never felt the pressure of expectations to win Liberty Leagues...It’s a different feeling, and it’s a type of pressure that we aren’t used to, but the results speak for themselves.”

This charming sentiment is echoed by Mattelson who explains, “We feel like we’re a strong team top to bottom, and if we put all of our effort into every match and leave it all on the court, then you can’t regret a match.” It is exactly this mentality that allows the Brewers to savor their victories, learn from their defeats

Senior Shane Donahue returns the ball during a recent match. Last weekend, the men’s tennis team swept the Liberty League Championship. The Championship was held at Vassar on April 17 and April 18. and play at their highest potential.

The camaraderie and dedication that characterize the students on the men’s tennis team is both inspiring and potent. Arthur remembers, “When I was playing my match, I looked over, and our freshman Andrew Guzick ended up winning his match. It was a clinching point, and even though I was in the middle of my match, it was an incredibly rewarding feeling of pride that we clinched it and won the tournament.”

For the Brewers, the game is not regulated to their individual matches; their superior aptitude for focus and empathy allow them to

form a complex network of victories while being constantly mindful of each other’s performance. The team as a single unit has the raw and devastating power of a writhing hydra, cut one head down and expect two to come back at you in return.

In fact, the team unanimously cites a moment of cooperation as the definitive instance in which it became clear that the Brewers were going to walk away with the title. “I think during doubles you could tell who was the better team right away,” says Shane Donahue ’10. “We had more intensity. Our guys were loud and vo-

Vassar track and field thrives at League championship Kristine Olson

Guest Columnist

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ran personal bests in the 1500m.

As for the men’s team, there were four personal bests in the 1500m for Sam Wagner ’13, Matt Blair ’12, Evan Russek ’12 and David Reuss ’12. Wagner’s performance was good enough to place him in third place, while also setting the school record in the event.

In the men’s sprints, “Matt Duhaney ’13 has been struggling, but not so much that he couldn’t lead us in the 100m with an 11.60 100m, and finished no. 6 overall. Despite his nagging strains, he came back in the 200m with a season best, and ran a season best 400m leg in the 4x4,” explained McCowan. “Philip McDermott ’12 was right out of the money in the discus with a huge [personal record], and Daniel Pearlman ’12 also threw a big [personal record] in the discus, with Zach Ward ’11 throwing a near season best.” McCowan, along with coaches John Brooks, Bryan Lundy and Ron Stonitsch all expressed their joy in Vassar’s performances on Saturday.

Other noteworthy performances included championship performances in the women’s 800m for Kelly Holmes ’13 and in the women’s javelin for Laura van Eerde ’13 The Liberty League Championship Meet, for Vassar, was characterized by personal best after personal best. The day before the meet, Coaches McCowan and Brooks told the team that the only thing anyone could do was to do their best. And the team did just that.

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Image courtesy of Sports Information

e’ve got soul.” The Vassar track and field team adopted this motto for the first Liberty League Championship meet hosted by Vassar last Saturday, April 17.

Although Vassar’s team is large compared to past years, it was still small in comparison to the other teams: St. Lawrence University, Union College and Rennselaer Polytechnic Institute (RPI). But what Vassar lacked in numbers, it made up for in spirit. The Vassar women’s track team finished with 90 points behind first place finishes from Johanna Spangler ‘12, Kelly Holmes ‘13 and Laura Van Eerde ‘13. The men’s team notched 28 points on the back of a Zach Williams ‘12 first place finish in the 800 meter dash.

These performances and many others inspired Head Coach James McCowan to say after the meet: “At the first Championship meet Vassar has hosted, you guys thrived!”

Despite the strong performances from several Vassar runners, it was not enough to overtake defending champion RPI who prevailed in both the men’s and women’s meet.

One might think that six hours is an excruciatingly long duration for any sporting event, but time at track and field meets, especially Saturday’s, flies by like Usain Bolt in the 100m dash; ok, maybe not quite that fast. The many exciting races, jumps and throws made the time pass quickly.

The first race of the day was an astounding women’s 3K steeplechase performance

by All-American Wendy Pavlus of St. Lawrence. In second was Vassar’s very own Brittany Davis ’11, who finished just three seconds shy of the East Coast Athletic Conference (ECAC) qualifying time of 12 minutes, setting a new school record in the process “while running with a bum ankle,” noted McCowan. From the start to the end of the meet, Liberty Leagues was filled with personal records and new school records set by Vassar athletes.

Looking to the women’s sprints, McCowan noted, “Emily Crnic ’13 dropped two seconds from her season best 400m to place second.” Katy Hwang ’12 (16.69 seconds) and Kate Warrick ’13 (17.52) both ran season bests in the 100m hurdles and came back in the 400 hurdles with 70.08 and 72.07, respectively. Commenting on these performances, McCowan said, “again season bests and a new school record in the 400H,” said McCowan, “and Tiffany Marchell ’13 ran 13.90 and then came back in a 13.76 for fourth in the finals, while nursing a bad hamstring.”

Continuing to women’s distance running, Johanna Spangler ’12 set two school records in the 1500m and the 5K (and a league record in the 5K. Both Spangler and Elizabeth Forbes ’12 qualified for ECAC with All Time Top 5 Vassar 5K times. Melissa McClung ’12, Nina Huang ’10 and Samantha Creath ’12 also

Sophomore Katy Hwang competes in the Mount Holyoke Invitational that was held on April 3. The team hosted the Liberty League Championship this past weekend.

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