The Miscellany News
Vassar College’s student newspaper of record since 1866
Student organizations push for labor rights
On April 2, the Working Student Coalition (WSC) released a petition advocating for an improvement to Vassar student workers’ labor conditions. The petition argues, “While Vassar prides itself on supporting low-income students and promises to meet 100% of demonstrated financial need, the College falls short of this commitment.”
WSC’s main concerns are twofold. First, although the Work Study allotment of $3,500 is an essential part of many students’ financial aid, most students do not earn their full allotment, which jeopardizes their ability to pay for their education. Second, current wages are not increasing to match tuition raises, despite student workers performing essential work across campus.
The petition also advocates for an overhaul of the hiring process, adequate and paid training for all student jobs and direct negotiations between the College and student workers.
In an email to The Miscellany News, WSC wrote, “As of April 15, 663 student workers, students, faculty, alumni, and other members of the Vassar community have expressed their support for our demands.”
WSC’s petition argues that student worker wage increases are insufficient to cover rising tuition. Vassar students earn the New York minimum wage, which increased by a little over 3 percent from 2024 to 2025 to stand at $15.50. According to Vice President for Fi-
nance and Administration Bryan Swarthout, the total cost of attending Vassar will increase by 4.5 percent between the 2024-2025 and 2025-2026 school years, outpacing minimum wage.
In a collaborative written correspondence, Swarthout, Vice President of Operations for Technology and Human Resources Carlos García and Director of Human Resources Operations Linda Wessberg wrote, “While the federal Work Study minimum wage remains $7.25/hour, Vassar has chosen to match New York State’s minimum wage… As both tuition and financial aid have risen, Vassar has kept the maximum Work Study allotment steady, meaning students work fewer hours
each year to earn the same total amount.” In fact, according to the Department of Education’s Federal Student Aid Handbook, Vassar did not choose to match the New York minimum wage: The handbook states, “If a state or local law requires a higher minimum wage, the school must pay the FWS student that higher wage.”
In the petition and an Instagram post from April 7, WSC noted that only 37 percent of student workers report earning their full Work Study allotment. The petition says this figure has been verified through internal communication; the Instagram post says the verification came from the Student Employment Office. Swarthout, Garcia and Wess-
berg wrote, “About 75% of student workers met or exceeded 75% of their allotment, and about 37% earned 100% or more. While students are not required to accept or maintain the schedules and roles offered to them, the percentage of Work Study allotments earned by students increased from AY 2023 to AY 2024.” While students can earn up to $3,500 through positions that are paid on an hourly basis, some students have earned additional money through stipends received from another job.
Swarthout, García and Wessberg also explained, “Student Employment makes every effort to place Work Study students in jobs, but Vassar neither requires students to accept positions nor guarantees employment for students who do not meet expectations. Since Human Resources began tracking placements in 2020, Vassar has never run out of available positions for Work Study students.” Despite the availability of Work Study positions on campus, WSC’s petition notes that the current hiring platform for on-campus jobs, JobX, is often inefficient. According to the VSA’s Second Annual Comprehensive Survey, only 29.5 percent of students more often than not hear back from employers about Work Study job applications. WSC’s petition states, “When work-study funds are part of the financial aid package, but jobs and allotments are not guaranteed, Vassar’s commitment to meeting 100% of financial need becomes hollow.”
Fire causes damage to Strong House Islamophobia, antisemitism panel held
Afire[Disclaimer: This article makes mention of Islamophobic remarks made by an attendee who interrupted the event’s format.]
On Wednesday, April 9, Khaled Beydoun and Ken Stern participated in a public dialogue moderated by Associate Professor of Religion Kirsten Wesselhoeft titled, “Islamophobia and Antisemitism: Hate and the Contours of Speech and Expression.” The event was sponsored by Engaged Pluralism, the Dean of Faculty, the Africana Studies Department, the American Studies Department, the Dean of the College, Religious and Spiritual Life and Contemplative Practices (RSLCP) and the Office of the President. As audience members filed in, they were handed notecards to write questions, as opposed to verbally posing them.
Beydoun is an Associate Professor of Law at the Sandra Day O’Connor College of
broke out in a student’s room in Strong House Monday, April 7 at 9:54 p.m. The College reported in an email to campus that the incident arose after a portable phone charger exploded in a student’s hand with said student sustaining minor injuries. The charger malfunction created a small fire in the student’s room, triggering the building’s fire alarm and sprinkler system, which caused water damage to parts of the dormitory. Emergency Management Lieutenant Gary Hulbert confirmed that the Strong sprinkler system extinguished the fire before the Fire Department arrived and caused little fire damage to the room.
The lithium-ion batteries used in some portable phone chargers have been known to explode. Hulbert explained in a written correspondence with The Miscellany News, “Basic lithium ion batteries contain a flammable solvent that is easily ignited when the battery experiences an uncontrolled discharge of stored electrical energy. High quality Lithium Ion batteries can safely operate through thousands of recharge cycles, whereas poorly made batteries have caused the majority of battery fires.” He continued, “It’s also important to use the battery that’s recommended for the specific device that’s being charged.”
Rameen Gondal ’26, a Strong resident, shared of her experience Monday night, “We were in our rooms, and then the fire alarm went off and we went outside and it seemed pretty usual until some of our other friends came down and said that they could smell smoke and then we were like, ‘Oh, maybe it’s not usual.’” After exiting the building, Gondal observed smoke emissions from a window while it was being hosed down by the Arlington Fire Department.
Lerie Marasigan ’26 was not in their room at the time of the fire alarm but returned to Strong after receiving a text from a friend:
“I was only outside for about 10–15 minutes until the Vassar grounds security people said we couldn’t go back in. Good news and bad news: the good news was mostly everyone’s stuff was okay, nothing was destroyed. The bad news was that we couldn’t return back to Strong for like two to three hours.”
At 1:11 a.m., the student body received an email from Hulbert notifying residents they would be able to return to their rooms, except for two students and Assistant Professor of Psychological Science and Strong House Fellow Lori Newman. Two subsequent fire
Evil admitted students day is soon. How will you prepare?
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WSC petition calls for labor improvements
Continued from WSC on page 1
Swarthout, García and Wessberg noted that not all students receive the maximum Work Study allotment of $3,500 because the total is determined by their individual financial aid package. The administrators wrote, “In 2023, we shifted to a semester-based ‘bucket of hours’ system to give students and supervisors greater flexibility in scheduling… This change also created opportunities for students to earn beyond their Work Study allotment.”
While WSC’s petition also demands that the College enter direct negotiations with student workers, when asked by The Miscellany News if administrators would engage in such negotiations, Swarthout, Garcia and Wessberg explained: “Since forming the Student Employment Advisory Group in March 2023, we’ve implemented changes that have improved hiring rates, increased student earnings, and raised the percentage of Work Study funds utilized. We remain committed to working with students to identify additional improvements—through the VSA, regular surveys, and other feedback channels.”
Student workers interviewed by The Miscellany News expressed that meeting their Work Study allotment is difficult. Patrick Cincotti ’28, a lifeguard at the Athletics and Fitness Center, said, “It’s hard to get shifts, especially now that the swim team doesn’t practice in the mornings or in the afternoon. I would just work swim practices, and that’s how I would get, like, eight hours a week. But now I work once a week.” Although Cincotti is busier now due to sports practices, he ex-
pressed that a freer schedule likely would not make working easier: “I would still probably just be working two [hours]. Because there’s no shifts available for the work.”
Student employees with guaranteed weekly hours have also raised concerns about receiving just compensation for their time, especially House Team. House Teams, the groups of students who provide support to residential houses as Student Fellows, House Fellow Interns, Community Fellows and other roles, are required to arrive on campus two weeks before returning students move in. During these two weeks, students receive situation-based training on how to support their peers, attend workshops and engage in bonding exercises. While House Team members are paid hourly wages during the school year, they are not compensated for their two weeks of training.
Jewett House President Jadon Sobejana ’25 wrote by email, “I absolutely think that HT [House Team] members should be paid for their training. I think a lot of ResLife activity at Vassar comes from the engagement of our College’s individual HTs and their members. And a large part of that role comes from having to arrive at Vassar about two weeks early before move-in, and going through this intensive training.” Sobejana noted that his thoughts on this are not anomalous: “I’ve heard some complaints & frustration about HT training being unpaid for sure! As I’ve mentioned before, this is because, in large part, the training is super-long, time-consuming, and quite energetically draining.”
The Vassar Student Association’s (VSA)
Student Financial Affairs Committee (SFAC) has been advocating for similar changes as WSC. At its April 13 meeting, the VSA Senate passed a resolution submitted by SFAC in support of WSC’s petition. The petition reads, “Collaboration between the WSC and SFAC to realize the demands of student workers will allow both groups to utilize their advocacy resources most effectively. With this understanding in mind and the knowledge of the Association’s long history of advocating for better labor standards, the Association stands firmly with the student workers of Vassar College in support of this petition.” VSA Senator Ian Saunders, who sits on SFAC, elaborated on the VSA’s support for the petition by written correspondence: “This is a glaring concern that cannot be solved by one student organization but must be addressed by a variety of students, including the Vassar Student Association.” In an email, VSA Senator Charlie From ’25, the SFAC Chair, explained the committee’s next steps: “To work with the WSC to see the petition demands realized! Student workers are stronger together!”
During the VSA’s March 30 meeting, senators described discussing proposals about cost of living, wage increases and just-cause terminations with Wessberg. Representatives also explained that Wessberg proposed a system in which wages are determined based on positions’ difficulty level, but noted that this idea has been contentious. Similarly, a seniority-based system has been proposed in which workers’ compensation would increase the longer they stay in their position.
On April 13, SFAC emailed student workers requesting they fill out a Google Form with feedback on two proposals. Proposal No. 1 is to get rid of JobX and the 30-day hiring period solely for Work Study students at the beginning of each semester. Instead, about 80 percent of each workplace’s jobs would be reserved for Work Study students, with the remaining jobs being open to all students. Proposal No. 2 consolidates Wessberg’s proposals by suggesting instituting tiered wages based on job difficulty, seniority by grade level or seniority by experience in a particular job; the lowest wage will be at least the current one. Swarthout, García and Wessberg wrote, “This idea originally emerged from discussions in the Student Employment Advisory Group. We are open to further exploration and have encouraged the VSA to submit a detailed proposal, as agreed at our most recent meeting.”
As of April 15, according to Saunders, 91 students have filled out the proposal form. Saunders wrote, “As for the JobX concern about transitioning from the 30-day priority to an 80/20 job split, there is an even split between students who support the model and students who don’t… Currently, there is an exact split between no tiered wages and wages dependent on skill level required/difficulty of job, with the two remaining options within four percent of each other.” WSC commented, “We are open to considering different proposed solutions as long as they meet our bottom line: fair compensation for all student workers, regardless of position or seniority.”
Community honors Grace Hopper with celebration
Maryam Bacchus Senior Editor
Last Thursday, April 10, amidst the grey skies and rain, members of the Vassar community at large gathered in Vassar’s Institute for the Liberal Arts to celebrate 100 years since the 1925 arrival of Grace Hopper, Class of 1928, to the College. The event featured a fireside chat and panel with alumnae/i and drew a crowd of over 100 students, fellow alumnae/i, faculty and community members. Recognized as the mother of modern computing, Hopper taught mathematics at her alma mater, and, upon retirement from teaching, she embarked on a 22year stint in the U.S. Navy.
The evening began with a speech by President of the College Elizabeth Bradley, who was introduced by Chair of the Computer Science Department Marc Smith. She began by thanking Smith before lauding Hopper and her achievements. Bradley also acknowledged the physical space and the audience’s ability to freely celebrate and explore the liberal arts. She concluded, “I just want to make that moment precious, because now we know how important that is in our world.”
Reflecting on her first few times meeting the organizer of the event—Alison Albeck Lindland ’00—Bradley recalled her drive to gain recognition of the Hopper name. Recently, leading technology company NVIDIA named their superchip “Hopper,” a nationally-recognized move which served as a partial catalyst for this event, to raise awareness of Hopper and her contributions.
In a written correspondence with The Miscellany News, Lindland reflected on planning the event: “We wanted the event to both honor Hopper and highlight how her liberal arts values continue to thrive in the tech industry through our alumni—both
those who knew her directly and those who were influenced by her.”
Following Bradley’s speech, Smith offered remarks about his experience with visiting Winifred “Tim” Asprey ’38, when he arrived to begin teaching at Vassar in 2006. Upon learning that Asprey lived in the house Hopper’s husband built during her tenure, Smith said, “It was then I realized I was sitting in computer science-hallowed ground.” Smith shared that Asprey was fond of her friend, and would be happy to see the turnout for the day’s event in honor of Hopper. He then introduced Kurt Beyer, continuing lecturer at the University of California, Berkeley’s Haas Business School and Hopper’s biographer.
Beyer began with a recap of Hopper’s accomplishments, including her development of subroutines and identification of the first computer bug. As he delved into her early notions of software, he began to connect the dots in her scientific background. Highlighting his own background as a historian of science and technology, he wondered why Hopper’s past would lead her to break the tradition of single-use technology. His investigation led him back to her roots as a Vassar professor.
According to Beyer, Hopper had an innate ability to distill any concept into math. During her time as a professor, she audited classes in disciplines like art history and architecture, which she incorporated into the mathematics curriculum she taught. These cross sectional ways of thinking led her to develop the first compiler, which led to theories of programming languages, and eventually source code, which she called pseudocode at the time. Explaining Hopper’s reasoning behind her exploration of these high-level concepts, Beyer remarked, “As she says, you let the humans write in human, and you let the computer figure things
out for itself.”
Following Beyer’s remarks, Lindland interviewed Naomi Seligmann ’55, who is one of Hopper’s mentees, distinguished in the fields of computing and information technology. This visit was the first time the latter has returned to Vassar since her graduation. When Lindland asked about her day on campus, Seligmann remarked, “The library is exactly as it was, and I loved it. I always loved libraries because it got me away from a house full of brothers.” Her comment garnered laughs from the audience.
Seligmann met Hopper while speaking at a panel the latter was moderating. Hopper immediately identified her as a Vassar girl owing to their matching hairstyles. Starting then, Hopper mentored Seligmann through significant career shifts, particularly when she and her husband were considering entrepreneurship. From meetings to shopping at Saks Fifth Avenue, Hopper was always in full regalia, which Seligmann said highlighted her theatrical tendency.
Seligmann also commented on Hopper’s long stint in the Navy, saying, “She loved the military. She said she didn’t have to decide what to wear. She didn’t have to decide what to serve for dinner. She didn’t have to do any of the routine things. She just had a focus on what she cared about. And she was driven to do whatever she did magnificently well.”
Lindland expressed her enjoyment of the interview with Seligmann, writing, “For me, moderating the fireside chat with Naomi was an absolute highlight. Her humor, candor and insightful perspective on Hopper were truly invaluable.”
Similarly, Sashinka Poor ’24 and Abigail Kotar ’24, who returned to campus for the event, also highlighted the interview as their favorite part of the night. Poor commented, “I would say I think my favorite part of the event was getting to hear Naomi talk because
she’s a very impressive woman and I think she had a really good perspective on what Grace Hopper’s perspective on the world was and I loved hearing little anecdotes stories about her interactions with Grace Hopper. It made her feel like a real person.” Kotar said, “I feel like I only know Grace Hopper from an aspirational level, and it was cool to hear about someone who knew her firsthand, so that was probably my favorite part.”
Poor also reflected that she wished the event could have been longer. She continued, “There’s a lot more that can be done to connect computer science alumni together and things like that and so I think it was just trying to do a lot of things in a short space and there’s definitely potential for it to be a bigger event.”
Founder of Vassar’s Computer Science Department and Professor Emerita Nancy Ide headed a panel featuring accomplished alumnae/i Peter Leonard ’97, Reena Mehta ’01 and Matt Foster ’14. Before introducing her panelists, Ide recounted the first and only time she met Hopper. “Grace had refused to come to Vassar for several years after 1969 because Vassar admitted men,” she began, followed by laughter from the audience. Ide continued, “She reluctantly came one time and I did get to sit next to her at lunch, so that’s my one memory of Grace Hopper.”
“At the eve of the first computing era, Hopper leveraged her liberal arts foundation demonstrating critical thinking, intellectual curiosity, communication and creativity to “see around corners” (as Naomi said) and make significant breakthroughs that we still benefit from today,” Lindland wrote. She furthered, “On the cusp of the AI revolution, Hopper stands as a powerful reminder that a liberal arts education is more essential than ever—preparing Vassar graduates to thrive in an AI-enabled economy.”
Incidental fire induces water damage in Strong House
Continued from FIRE on page 1
alarms went off later that same night. Strong House President Sola Arowolo reported the alarm went off at 2:52 a.m. and again an hour later. The ordeal took its toll on residents; Arowolo shared that they were not able to attend class the next day after not being able to sleep: “My head was pounding from the migraine, the noise, and the flashing lights. My body was exhausted, and getting out of bed felt impossible. The whole thing was awful.”
Newman was among one of the affected residents of Strong. Newman’s apartment was located beneath the room of the original fire and sustained significant water damage, including her dining room flooding. Newman commented on the expected repairs of her apartment in a written correspondence
with The Miscellany News: “Unfortunately and understandably, we don’t have a timeline for repairs yet. Strong is an old building (the first residential house on campus!) and it will take time to assess and plan how to rebuild the space.” Newman added, “I want to thank the Arlington Fire Department as well as Vassar safety and security, facilities, res life [Residential Life], and especially Bianca Keesler and Dean Carlos Alamo who worked to both assess the situation and find places for me and the student affected to stay.”
However, not all residents felt as supported. Arowolo said of Vassar’s response, “Honestly, what was most disappointing was how unprepared Vassar seemed to be when it came to supporting us. There was no designated space for Strong residents to go during
those hours we were displaced. We had to figure it out on our own. Crashing in friends’ rooms, finding common areas, just making it work. Some people couldn’t go back to their rooms at all because of water damage from the sprinklers or how close they were to the fire.” They continued, “I really hope this experience pushes Vassar to think more deeply about what real support during emergencies looks like. This shouldn’t be the blueprint for how students are treated in moments of crisis.”
In light of the incident, Strong House has remained a tight-knit community. Arowolo remarked, “We were all shaken up, but we tried to make the most of it. We made new friends while waiting around and shared a strange kind of togetherness when the alarm
went off two more times that night. It was a mess, but if there’s one thing Strong knows how to do, it’s support each other. We’re resilient, it’s kind of in the name.” Newman expressed similar sentiments reflecting on the fire’s impact, “It will take time, but I do think the students are doing an incredible job and are relying on the close knit community of Strong House to get through this together. I have been comforted by the support they have shown me and each other.”
To prevent future battery-related fires, Hulbert recommends checking for a testing mark from a Nationally Recognized Testing Lab (NRTL), ensuring damaged batteries are disposed of properly and purchasing products with newer battery chemistries like lithium iron phosphate (LFP).
College hosts panel on Islamophobia and antisemitism
Continued from Panel on page 1
Law at Arizona State University (ASU). His academic work examines constitutional law and race. According to ASU’s website, he is one of the leading experts on Islamophobia globally. A public-facing intellectual, Beydoun has 2.6 million followers on Instagram.
Stern is the director of the Bard Center for the Study of Hate, established in 2018. He is an award-winning author and attorney, having argued before the United States Supreme Court and testified before the United States House of Representatives and Senate. According to Bard’s website, “Mr. Stern was the lead drafter of the ‘working definition’ of antisemitism,” also known as the International Holocaust Remembrance Alliance’s definition per NPR.
The event was inspired by a BeydounStern dialogue at Marist University this past December. Highlighting their intellectual relationship, Associate Professor of Education and Director of Engaged Pluralism Kimberly Williams Brown told The Miscellany News, “I was deeply impressed.”
As a moderator, Wesselhoeft said she hoped to solicit questions that could be addressed by both panelists, stating that the speakers had something to offer to one another in conversation that could not be achieved in isolation.
The event began with an introduction from Williams Brown. Speaking about organizing the event to The Miscellany News, she emphasized the nature of dialogue rather than framing the panel as a debate. Williams Brown’s opening comments noted that the former involves real concern for all participants, including an openness to learn from one’s own mistakes or biases. Salih Awouda ’25 and Nina Sandman ’26 then offered brief remarks and introduced each panelist; both students work for RSLCP.
Wesselhoeft posed the panel’s initial question, asking the scholars when and how they define antisemitism and Islamophobia, respectively. Stern noted that antisemitism’s definitions all describe a core characteristic of antisemitic thinking: conspiracies blaming Jewish people for the world’s problems. He highlighted shortcomings related to the definition of antisemitism, specifically the term being weaponized against campus education or guest speakers. Beydoun likewise underscored his response in relation to recent drastic changes aimed at higher education. He began closely thinking about the definition of Islamophobia during the Global War on Terrorism, concerned with how its definition typically addressed private, individual bigotry as opposed to structural issues. He expressed worry
for how Islamophobia’s definition, when utilized in an accusatory manner, may limit free speech, noting his own view on Islamophobia’s definition has shifted over time.
After Beydoun finished responding, an attendee unaffiliated with Vassar interrupted the event’s format, reading a prepared statement which expressed Islamophobic, anti-Muslim sentiments. He asserted the program was based on a false premise: “There is hate, and there is justifiable fear.” Notably, the attendee later claimed, “For Jews and Christians, fear of Islam is entirely rational,” eliciting yells of displeasure from the crowd before he was eventually escorted out of the room. In an email the next morning, President of the College Elizabeth Bradley stated: “The attendee’s conduct was hateful, intimidating, and antithetical both to our values of inclusion and respectful debate and to the spirit of the event.” She continued, “Islamophobia and all forms of discrimination have no home at Vassar.”
Williams Brown told The Miscellany News that the College had taken precautions for the event, anticipating potential tensions. Reflecting on the moment, Beydoun wrote: “In fact, one disruption illustrated how commonplace Islamophobia is, and highlighted [the] need to address it so Muslim students, campus members, and staff feel safe at Vassar.” Discussing the difficulties of the panelists’ work, Wesselhoeft observed that they deal with hostile interactions in a variety of contexts. Stern likewise added: “I thought the disruption, as I said at the time, reflected the type of hateful thinking that was the topic of the evening, so in a way it was good to have an example to point to, but I felt for Khaled.”
The panel proceeded afterwards. Stern commented that the attendee had vilified an entire group of people based on false presumptions. He described drawing from the field of hate studies to address the moment, examining the brain’s crave for ideological simplicity and certainty. Similarly, Beydoun asserted that categorically indicting an entire people is hateful, saying that the attendee had claimed it was rational to hate Muslims.
Another member of the audience interjected, stating that the escorted attendee had used the term “fear” rather than “hate.”
After correcting his wording, Beydoun was again interrupted. He requested the audience members cede the floor—in line with the panel’s intended format, after which they subsided. The other interrupters were allowed to remain within the lecture hall as they made no direct threats, according to an interview with Williams Brown.
Wesselhoeft provided a second question, asking the panelists about the importance and pitfalls of examining antisemitism and Islamophobia side-by-side. Stern detailed how filing antisemitism under other forms of hatred could make it difficult to address pointedly. Citing Stanford University’s antisemitism and Islamophobia reports, he said, “They’re mirror images of each other,” including student concerns such as accusations of collegiate administrations not caring and assertions that other groups of students were being listened to more than themselves.
Beydoun continued the discussion by stating that he does not view the conversation surrounding antisemitism and Islamophobia to be inherently adversarial or oppositional. He pointed out that each form of hate is aligned in common historical or intellectual ways, including racialized and religious animus. Beydoun believes Muslim and Jewish students and faculty are allies owing to their common status as religious minorities in the United States.
Wesselhoeft then fielded questions submitted through the notecards. When asked if free speech gives one the right to verbally harass others, Stern replied by explaining the difference between true threats, which are unlawful, and opinion speech. For himself, a democratic society must nonetheless allow for detestable ideas to be expressed, so as to respond to them.
Another question asked was about the consequences of antisemitism’s definition if it made no reference to Israel. According to Stern, antisemitism predates Israel, and the answer to the question depends on how one hopes the definition of antisemitism will function. Beydoun followed by opposing any definition which conflates racial or religious animus to the criticism of a nationstate. Stern stated that antisemitic tropes surrounding conspiracy are occasionally applied to Israel. He acknowledged legitimate reasons for anti-Zionist positions which are unrelated to conspiracies regarding Jewish people. Later, he followed by stating that while he himself is a Zionist, some young Jewish people in particular draw upon their faith in a manner that leads them to antiZionism.
Elsewhere, Beydoun described how religious or racial hatred is deeply embedded in the American experience. He asserted that the Trump administration has attempted to obscure that history, leading to crackdowns on pedagogical traditions invested in discussing such topics. There was then a third interruption, voiced from the same section as the prior one; the audience shushed the attendee while event
organizers attempted to calm them. As this intervention proceeded, Stern observed we have always had hatred, noting recent attacks on legal and educational institutions. He admonished Columbia University for capitulating to the Trump administration, earning claps and snaps from the crowd. Similarly referring to scrutiny directed at campuses, Wesselhoeft later added: “I think that the most productive response right now is to continue doing what we do,” referring broadly to hosting events while pursuing scholarship or difficult conversations.
The final question relatedly asked how college students can promote challenging discourse while navigating polarization. Stern encouraged finding people you disagree with as part of one’s educational experience. Beydoun encouraged young people to avoid backing down from difficult confrontations.
After a final interruption, again from the same area, Beydoun ended by telling young people to avoid resigning to any fear stoked by those who are not interested in learning, after which applause followed. According to Williams Brown, Beydoun shared with her that the interrupters later approached him and apologized. Williams Brown attributed this exchange to the effects of dialogue.
Following the panel, Wesselhoeft summarized by saying, “I think the event was productive, and it was great to have our speakers in conversation and with an audience of students, faculty, administrators, and community members.” Reflecting on the immediate outcome and the future, Williams Brown observed: “I think time will tell us if the event actually hits the goal,” adding that the primary objective was to provide a space for the free exchange of ideas between experienced scholars.
During the panel discussion, Beydoun similarly stated that himself and Stern fundamentally agree that speech needs to be engaged, even when it is speech you vehemently disagree with, and these collegial conversations need to be built around good faith and mutual understanding, even if one does not walk away in agreement. As such, the speakers displayed a respect for one another continuously.
Discussions with Beydoun and Stern over meals followed on the next day, April 10, open to campus community members with reservations. On April 17 and April 21, “Post-Beydoun/Stern Dialogue Sessions” will be held by Williams Brown and Director of Restorative Practices Amanda Munroe in order to discuss the content of the panel and follow-up questions. Registration is required.
‘The
Secret
History:’ A look into TikTok’s favorite novel
“The snow in the mountains was melting and Bunny had been dead for several weeks before we came to understand the gravity of our situation…” begins the popular novel, “The Secret History.” The snow here at Vassar College has melted, and now is the perfect time to escape the spring rain in the library with some tea and a copy of Donna Tartt’s suspenseful, thought-provoking story. Today, “The Secret History” is known as a staple of TikTok’s dark academia obsession, a novel both loved and hated in typical social media fashion. The book, however, was published in 1992 and had a pre-BookTok life that often seems to be forgotten.
In a New York Times article written the year it was published, “The Secret History” is characterized as a combination of past literary classics such as Evelyn Waugh’s “Brideshead Revisited” and, of course, the piece of Ancient Greek literature that plays a central role in the story—if you know, you know—Euripides’ “Bacchae.” The comparison to Waugh, an author known for satirical writing on hedonism and overindulgence— forms of which are certainly explored in “The Secret History”—is striking to me.
In a BBC article reflecting on the history of “The Secret History,” another author, Laurie Petrou, says of campus novels like Tartt’s: “It’s intelligentsia, it’s snobbery, it’s privilege, all of these things that are a breeding ground for incredible fiction.” These
factors play into Richard’s friends’ total detachment from the real world, but there is another element to his strange, mystical story: Greek myth and literature.
The magic of entering an entirely unfamiliar and, to some extent, unknowable past world is enticing. Looking at the novel from the perspective of a classicist will, I am sure, provide a whole new layer of depth to Tartt’s allusions, commentaries, and descriptions. I am currently taking Elementary Greek, and while I am finding it to be much less romantic and dangerous than it is portrayed in “The Secret History,” the language and literature are fascinating, and I look forward to being able to see Tartt’s incredible story in a new light after beginning to study classic literature in Greek myself. However, as of now, I can only enjoy “The Secret History” from an outsider’s perspective, so to speak, which is an interesting lens to view the story through in and of itself.
I first came across the novel in the summer of 2021, and I devoured it in just a few sittings. Tartt’s writing style and absolutely alluring use of sensory detail immediately drew me into the story. The book’s prologue reveals that the character Bunny is dead. The story then jumps back in time to describe the events leading up to his death and its aftermath. The narrative is told from the perspective of Richard Papen, a Californian undergraduate who impulsively transfers to a fictional New England school based on Bennington College to study classics.
The first time I read the novel, I was obsessed with the story’s enigmatic friend
group and the excitement of covering up a crime. Unsurprisingly, I think this is much of the internet’s response to the book as Tartt develops such a fascinating cast of characters and situations rife with suspense and tension. On a second read of this book, however, with a mind more attuned to what the story is trying to say, I have gained a new perspective on “The Secret History”—on Tartt’s scathing critique of the potential toxicity of academia, the danger of excessive wealth and the consequences of compulsion.
Like most readers who were introduced to the novel through the lens of dark academia “aesthetic” books, I was initially enamored with the book’s setting at a New England college. Tartt’s book is filled with beautiful depictions of the campus and a rural mansion where part of the story is set. This enveloping and picturesque atmosphere is further developed through the central point of immersion within classical study, an increasingly toxic obsession that is intentionally romanticized in the book. As the students are drawn more deeply into their academic work, its classical themes of beauty and loss of control bleed into their daily lives.
Tartt’s deliberate critique of the romanticization of obsession is a point that sometimes seems to be missed on social media. The fact that the characters’ fixation reaches the point of ignoring the outside world—and sometimes even one another—is precisely what causes their lives to come crashing down by the end of the story. The most interesting part of Tartt’s novel, to me, is that the narrator tells you this in the first chap-
ter. Richard narrates, “Does such a thing as ‘the fatal flaw,’ that showy dark crack running down the middle of a life, exist outside literature? I used to think it didn’t. Now I think it does. And I think that mine is this: a morbid longing for the picturesque at all costs.”
This quote tells the reader that Richard’s obsession with beauty and aesthetics will cause his downfall. And, even in this metaphor, he leans on the classicist motif of the “fatal flaw.” The fact that the reader goes into this story knowing that it is a critique of prioritizing aestheticism at the expense of morality and yet becomes absorbed and even blinded by that sense of the picturesque is what makes this book so interesting and, depending on who you ask, problematic. I can see the argument that “The Secret History” swings too far in the direction of romanticizing immorality, but after reading the book twice, I am of the opinion that this is the point. The narrator is taken in by the allure of the beautiful ancient past, and therefore so is the reader. This book, therefore, necessitates the reader to take a step back and think about what the work as a whole is communicating about Richard’s story.
What makes Tartt’s writing so good is that Richard’s actions, which would be objectively horrifying in real life, are somehow understandable and sympathetic in the novel. To me, this is a reflection on the power of obsession and isolation. Richard takes us down a dark rabbit hole, and it is our choice whether to stay inside or climb back out.
‘Fun Home’ explores queerness, family and grief
plications through the embodiment of the story with the actors.”
[CW: This article makes mention of the grooming of minors and suicide.]
It can often feel like trauma is a given in queer media. Queerness is often inseparable from the internal and external stigma, shame and sorrows that occur in the process of self-discovery and the act of coming out. The musical “Fun Home” brings a nuanced perspective to this narrative, stressing the importance of telling these difficult stories.
Future Waitstaff of America (FWA)’s— Vassar’s musical theater student organization—production of “Fun Home” ran from April 10 to 12. The Susan Stein Shiva Theater served as the home for this story as passionate Vassar students brought the show to life.
“Fun Home,” with music by Jeanine Tesori and book and lyrics by Lisa Kron, is based on cartoonist Alison Bechdel’s 2006 graphic memoir of the same name. The title itself is a reference to Bechdel’s childhood, as her father managed a nearby funeral home. The show follows a fictionalized Bechdel at three different ages as she navigates through the death of her father and her own queer identity. The musical focuses on Small Alison, Medium Alison and Alison—portrayed by Nora Guzikowski ’27, Jamie Walsh ’25 and Sarah Schuster ’25, respectively—as they tell the story of Bechdel’s complicated childhood.
“‘Fun Home’ explores the dangers of suppressing queer identities and the harmful effects it has on individuals, families, and communities,” Stage Manager Rebecca King ’26 wrote in the Dramaturg’s Note. “The act of putting the graphic novel on stage forces us to confront the real-life im-
King approached Director Abby Bettencourt ’25 last year with the idea to produce this show. Since then, King and Bettencourt had been working to create something they felt would be impactful to the Vassar community. “I hope Fun Home gets people talking,” Bettencourt said. “About theater, about queerness, about anything really… I want to give the Vassar community a chance to laugh, cry and just be together.”
“Fun Home” is centered around the double-edged sword of self-discovery. Throughout the show, Alison, in her 10-year-old, college age and adult forms, and her father, Bruce, played by Oliver Hollmann ’27, both grapple with their respective queer identities. Small Alison’s scenes allude to her queerness, and Medium Alison’s story follows her as she discovers she is a lesbian and comes out. On the other hand, Bruce suppresses his queerness, having affairs with young men and teenage boys to fulfill himself outside of his heterosexual marriage. Following Bruce’s suicide, Alison spends the rest of her life retrospectively wondering how their overlapping journeys affected their relationship.
The show explores a number of heavy topics, including internalized homophobia, grooming of minors and suicide. The content of the show itself is incredibly dark and, at times, uncomfortable to watch. Many of the scenes centered around Bruce put us in his perspective as he would contemplate his own sexuality, including moments when Bruce was making advances on younger men and when he was about to take his own life. The performers deftly handled this discomfort and channeled it into their performances. Music Director Nick Monsion ’27 noted the dynamic in
the show between Bruce and one of his students, Roy, played by Anthony Rosenthal ’27, and how Hollman and Rosenthal were able to effectively give the moment the weight that it needed. Both actors were incredibly impactful in their performances, with Hollman’s characterization acknowledging the predatory nature of Bruce’s actions while still humanizing him as Alison’s father.
Another key aspect of “Fun Home” is the score. Monsion describes it as a folk-like, singer-songwriter style. “A lot of the background music…really feels like memories from growing up,” he said. Monsion mentioned that he was especially interested in the different musical themes that were repeated throughout the show and how the melodies and motifs revealed that Alison and her father were more similar than she thought.
Assistant Music Director Melody Hamilton ’28 has had a long history with “Fun Home,” having performed in a production of the show at the Manoa Valley Theatre in her hometown of Honolulu, Hawaii at 11 years old. Hamilton states that this show is incredibly important in terms of queer representation and has been incredibly impactful to her own life. “Probably the most important thing Fun Home did for me is normalizing and humanizing lesbians,” Hamilton said. “My experience in that show made it very easy to come to terms with my own queerness as I got older.”
An integral part of the success of “Fun Home’s” production was the tight-knit nature of its cast and crew. Monsion said, “In our case, we all knew each other. We were all friends, and we respected each other as artists, actors, musicians. We all trusted each other so much.” King, Bettencourt and Hamilton all acknowledged this community as well, agreeing that the show was
a labor of love for all involved.
While its content is rather disturbing, “Fun Home” is a rough and raw story which needs to be told. “With the current political climate I think it’s important now more than ever to produce queer stories and center queer voices,” Bettencourt said. “‘Fun Home’ highlights the importance of accepting yourself and others, and also shows the consequences we face if we force people to stay hidden in the closet.”
King echoed this sentiment, adding that the Vassar student body provided a unique and valuable audience for the show. “At a school like Vassar that proudly offers classes on studying queer literature and art, it is sometimes easy to forget that not every school or community is as accepting of the LGBTQ+ community and the stories that they have to tell,” King said. “I would love to see the musical spark a larger conversation of the importance of continuing to amplify queer voices beyond the bounds of our small college.” At its core, “Fun Home” emphasizes how queer people live with pride to honor the memories and struggles of those who could not.
Paige Hahn Copy Staff
Grace Finke Assistant Copy Editor
Student discusses campus gender affirming care, community
With access to gender-affirming care called into question by governments regularly around the world, it is important to recognize some of the access issues on a smaller scale. This article was first intended to focus solely on these access issues: how methods to access hormones differ and how access becomes more difficult due to arbitrary identification categories. However, this piece has evolved into more. It has become an ode to community care—what we can do for each other in the face of this slew of anti-trans rhetoric. Especially when it comes to a process with as much bureaucracy and roadblocks involved as accessing trans healthcare. I wanted to interview people who had access to hormones at Vassar, as I felt that while the school attempts to promote diversity, they do not offer a clear pathway to access gender-affirming care on campus. None of the people I interviewed accessed their hormones through Vassar, which points to an institutional access issue that is currently unaddressed.
Access to hormone care, first and foremost, depends on having the information available to know where to start. This can vary by state, country and even community. One interviewee stated that “People aren’t aware of what it is to get access to HRT [hormone replacement therapy] via a doctor, DIY or just by good old-fashioned sharing. It all feels very hushhush, even amongst trans folks.” Even getting access through a doctor, there are multiple levels of administrative paperwork. Depending on where you seek care, these can include a psychiatrist’s letter of approval, a doctor’s letter of approval and frequent blood tests. On top of living life (and often having to fight for it), this can feel like an impossibly uphill battle. There is also the added pressure of having to potentially speak to family members about a
medical transition. Depending on your family situation, accessing hormones can prove even more difficult. Until you are able to financially support yourself and be independent from your family, it can be an almost impossible decision to make. Depending on your family relationship, having to choose between living your life and keeping contact with your family is a heartbreaking choice to make. As some choose to start HRT in secret, going to college can be a good way to find more information and resources relating to the process. For example, Baldwin Hall offers the blood tests required for maintenance, and they can also refill prescriptions; however, this is not something that they advertise. As such, it is not something people tend to know about unless they ask directly.
One interviewee explained that “Getting access to HRT has not been something ever advertised, and I didn’t know about Baldwin being able to provide blood work until you told me, which just goes to show how difficult access is.” The lack of awareness on campus provides yet another level of bureaucracy and self-advocacy that many trans folks are simply tired of. It seems that Vassar does not necessarily recognize the importance of access to gender-affirming care to many trans people, and while some in administrative positions definitely do, it seems that there is a structural lack of access that could be improved with more resources and support. This is also an oversight in terms of student safety. An interviewee shared, “They have their whole presentation on how alcohol can affect people and they never mention kind of how it affects trans women with estrogen and I know how estrogen affects stuff with that. Especially with my hormones, it affects me a lot differently.” It is important from multiple standpoints to have more information available to students, rather than us having to do the research ourselves.
Different hormones—such as estradiol ver-
sus testosterone—involve different levels of medical red tape. Some are much easier to get, such as estradiol, while others are much harder, such as testosterone. In addition to the paperwork differences, testosterone is a controlled substance, making it difficult to get. Dealing with insurance, letters of approval and having your provider call the insurance company every time you re-up your prescription before you get to the pharmacy takes a toll. “There’s so many steps involved in doing everything,” one interviewee stated. Between school and everything going on in their life, the interviewee asked, “How do I, on top of all that, fill out a form about why I want hormones?”
Additionally, access to pharmacies from the Vassar campus can prove difficult. While there is the Rite-Aid on Hooker Avenue, many people report difficulties accessing their hormones. One interviewee stated, “While CVS is technically more reliable, if you do not have a car, this involves walking 20 minutes each way down a motorway with very little sidewalk space.” When you get to CVS, there is often a discussion about insurance and prior authorization. While insurance information is frequently requested in medical situations, the doctor prescribing HRT is required to call the insurance company directly and provide a letter of authorization in order for the prescription to be approved and covered by insurance. When not covered, the price of one month’s worth of hormones can be over $1,000. While none of this is the fault of the employees, and more the fault of the corporations, it highlights a common issue with access: the constant gatekeeping for fear that someone will make an “irreversible mistake.”
In light of new legislation in the US restricting access to gender-affirming care for minors—including 18-year-olds—discussing alternative pathways to care seems paramount. All interviewees said they felt that access to
community and the way that people take care of and provide for each other have been and continue to be incredibly important. “Community tends to be a very supportive place for the most part, and even the new students here are mostly aware and supportive of trans students on campus. But I should not always have to rely on my friends,” one interviewee stated. I was incredibly struck by this sentiment. While I am incredibly grateful for the care that exists within the student body, I agree that this should not be the only solution. It is up to Vassar to provide more support with paperwork and access to resources.
One interviewee expressed they felt that “Community is the most valuable thing in any regard, and just with prescriptions or with anything, having that kind of reassurance and a wall to lean back on if need be is extremely valuable.” Community is also a source for DIY hormone care. If some are lucky enough to access a prescription where others are struggling, or if a prescription does not come through in time and you are out of your medication, the community is an invaluable resource for access and advice. Someone will usually know someone who knows someone. When people have already gone through administrative difficulties, it can become easier to help others. Community care is precious, and while it should be recognized as a way to increase access, the burden should not always fall on trans folks to advocate for ourselves and take care of each other.
To end on a positive note, all interviewees noted that even with their access issues, going on hormones was worth it. Being able to feel like yourself is an incredible feeling. “I wouldn’t change it for the world,” stated one interviewee. Despite the system making it immensely difficult to access this joy, it is still possible. I encourage everyone to embrace community, wherever you find it, and to take care of each other. Joy is a form of resistance.
Regarding our roots: Contemplating class tree ceremonies
Despite the unexpected bout of snow last weekend, Vassar is beginning to bloom. Across campus, the trees are beckoning spring—from vivid pink flowering dogwoods to white-blossomed star magnolias, red maples to green willow buds. And as the earth begins to soften, it is nearly time to break ground for the newest class tree.
Each spring marks the annual celebration of a century-old campus tradition. On Arbor Day, the sophomore class comes together to make their contribution to the grounds by planting a tree to commemorate their time at Vassar. By senior year, students will have witnessed their tree deepen its roots and make campus its home—just as they, too, will have done by the time they depart.
If you are familiar with the scattering of class trees across campus, you have likely noticed the symbols decorating the stone at the base of each trunk—next to the class year upon each plaque is engraved an owl or a torch. The owl, designated for odd class years, derives from the symbol of the Greek goddess Athena and represents wisdom. The torch, for even class years, stands for truth.
In tandem, these symbols have made many notable appearances within Vassar’s history, from committee titles to class ring engravings, once even decorating the masthead of The Miscellany News. Yet most often, they are seen underneath our trees. So, why do we decorate our campus with this imagery?
While we may never know the origins of this
practice, perhaps its purpose is this: As students, we are mere visitors on this campus. Vassar’s trees—with their infinite wisdom and truth—are the genuine foundation of our school.
While class tree ceremonies began unconventionally in 1867, with the planting of an ivy trestlework across Main Building, Vassar’s notable status as an arboretum arrived much later. In 1925, the Class of 1875 announced their 50th reunion gift to the College: $3,000 to finance the creation of a campus arboretum, with an extra $4,100 to cover grounds maintenance. With this sizable donation, the College got to work painting the campus green. Today, nearing its centennial, the Arboretum boasts nearly 200 species—over 2,000 trees total.
It has been nearly one year since the Class of ’26 planted their tupelo tree by Sunset Lake. Now, it is time to pass the torch (and the owl) on to the next generation of Vassar students. The Class of 2027 has chosen the eastern redbud as their designated tree, which will find its home on Friday, April 25, on Chapel Lawn. The redbud is native across the Northeast, flaunting bright pink blooms from late March to early May and deep yellow foliage in autumn.
Myra Hughey, Assistant Professor of Biology, has been in charge of organizing the class tree ceremonies since 2023. This year’s ceremony, she says, is special—it is the Arboretum’s Centennial Kick-Off. With festivities beginning at 12 p.m., there are a multitude of activities students can participate in throughout the afternoon, celebrating both the Class
of 2027 and the Arboretum’s historic milestone.
Yvonne Elet, Professor of History of Art and Architecture and Faculty Co-Chair of the Arboretum Committee, spoke to the Arboretum’s history and significance. “Like texts or works of art, the ground beneath our feet and the trees around us tell stories,” said Elet. “Beatrix Farrand, a pioneering woman landscape architect and consultant to Vassar in the mid1920s, initiated our Arboretum, proposing that the whole campus be considered an arboretum, a museum of trees, and an outdoor classroom.”
This message is, perhaps, what the College wishes to convey with Vassar Nature Rx, a new campus initiative aimed at engaging students with the landscape and promoting the healing powers of nature. During study period and finals, they plan to hold nature walks among the trees to help students de-stress. Vassar Nature Rx will have a table at the ceremony, alongside the Arboretum Committee and a community care station. A special ceremony to honor the grounds crew will take place near the downer beech tree beside the Frances Lehman Loeb Art Center at 2 p.m.
The official tree ceremony, which commences at 3 p.m., will begin with remarks from President Bradley and include activities planned by the Class of 2027’s student committee. This year’s tradition will not only serve as a moment away from studying but also as a chance for the community to celebrate and engage with nature on campus.
“We want people to understand that there’s a lot more to the trees here than just providing
shade or aesthetics,” said Hughey. “They have deeper stories than that.”
My own class’s tree, planted nearly two years ago, has its roots in front of the Chapel. When I walk by, I know I am meant to reflect on its growth, to notice how it has flourished. But I cannot help but feel it looks exactly the same as the day it was planted—small and spindly, still finding its footing. Yet, I know it has grown since then and will continue to long after I have left campus. Reflecting on my own journey here at Vassar, I feel a similar sentiment. While I may look very much the same as I did upon first taking root here, I know I have grown so much in the years since.
The 1927 commencement issue of The Miscellany News published an ode to the graduating class in verse, including mention of the prominent owl and torch. I will end here, with words from nearly a century ago, bidding farewell to my time here at Vassar:
“When your last topic is typéd, When your ultimate care departs, When you end the awful struggle,—
A bachelor of Arts
You will rest (and well you deserve to)
Just play for an aeon or two,—
Till the urge for a job shall send you
Hunting for work to do.
And those that were good shall reune here. They shall sit on the Prexy’s porch. Wearing a shamrock bonnet, And waving an owl or torch; And if you wax sentimental, As better women have done, Remember we’ll sing together in 1981.”
Anonymous Guest Columnist
Emma Adams Arts Editor
Mr. Burns:’ post-apocalyptic ‘Simpsons’ opera hits the mark
Noah Duncan Guest Columnist
“Mr. Burns, a Post-Electric Play,” written by Anne Washburn and produced this spring by the Vassar Drama Department, might be the weirdest show I have ever seen. It tells the story of a post-apocalyptic world where episodes of “The Simpsons” become a means of reliving a shared, lost, past. It is a meditation on pop culture—on the myths we build as a society and the ways we rely on those myths to give our lives meaning. Besides all of that, though, it was just plain funny. The play was directed by department chair Christopher Grabowski and featured the work of senior thesis members Samuel Andrews, Jacqueline Evangelista, Rowan Rouner-Greer, Ivy Schenk, Frederica von Siemens and Ki’tsai Zangpo, and went up from April 3 to 5 in Vassar’s Powerhouse Theater.
The show begins simply: A few characters, survivors of a recent nuclear apocalypse, sit around a plywood campfire. To pass the time, they try to remember the details of the Season 5 “Simpsons” episode “Cape Feare.” If this seems to you like an odd thing for them to be doing, do not worry—it will get plenty weirder.
The first act seamlessly vaults from laughter to eschatological paranoia and back: People are gun-wielding and flighty, but also share moments of connection and happy escape. Oliver Hollman ’27 here gives a particularly spirited performance as Matt, correcting the others when they misremember details: “Blinky? No. No. That’s a whole other episode.” Subtle dramatic choices, inflections
of tone and body language—small gestures of intimacy between characters, a glance here or there—convey a world of meaning beyond the relatively inane subject of actual conversation.
Act 2 takes place seven years later with an expanded ensemble—this gang of survivors has now formed a “Simpsons” reenactment troupe. As they rehearse scenes, we get moments of comedy: Matt as Homer Simpson talking to the FBI, and, most memorably, Quincy (Evangelista) and Gibson (Andrews) playing a suburban married couple talking salaciously about food. There are moments of real drama, too; tensions high with the still-terrible, violent outside world always looming just out of sight.
And in the middle of the act, in the heat of an argument about a small theatrical decision, a line that gets to the heart of the matter. Maria (Rouner-Greer) makes a point about making their performance mean something. And Quincy replies: “Meaning is everywhere. We get meaning for free, whether we like it or not. Meaningless entertainment, on the other hand, is actually really hard.”
“Where else do we get to experience that?” Quincy says. “Nowhere.”
Art is an escape, in troubled times most of all. And in the world where “The Simpsons” has gone off the air—along with everything else—they are kept alive by a group of people who need, more than ever, ways to sit back and laugh. To just enjoy entertainment. These subtleties, throwaway and seemingly improvised lines here and there, really give us a sense of the world—and the psychology—these characters inhabit; pre-apocalypse pop-culture serving as both a life-raft and
a livelihood. It speaks to the quality of the script, of course, but also to the cast and production team’s concentrated effort in drawing out its every subtlety. (Another assist: As the program notes, during rehearsals, playwright Anne Washburn made a visit with the cast and crew!)
Act 3 happens 75 years later, in an entirely different world. The show has become sophisticated and bombastic, some kind of opera—free of Act 2’s intentionally rough edges. We see “Cape Feare”—the same episode remembered by the characters in Act 1—evolved into an elaborately-staged musical melodrama of the Simpson family taken hostage by the dastardly Mr. Burns (Roman Shaheen ’27). This is full-blown performance, not rehearsal, with a sheer commitment to the bit that makes you unsure whether to laugh or just sit there, slack-jawed. The characters are playing to us now, and they know it. Through this performance, we get a sense of how society has rebuilt itself and how “The Simpsons” have been mythologized; the plot varies considerably from the original episode—but in this world, what does that matter? Culture evolves, as do the stories we tell ourselves.
This three-act evolution was creative and well-executed, thanks both to a cast without a single weak link and the efforts of an excellent production team. Sets, built by Seth Jenkins ’25, were great, from the stripped-back simplicity of Act 1 to the homespun charm of Act 2, where the troupe rolled around backdrops strapped to shopping carts. Act 3’s massive moving boat and kitschy decorations were perfect, although a hand-painted banner hung in the back looked slightly out-
of-place. Costumes, by Foster Schrader ’25, were perfectly post-apocalyptic—by the last act, artsy and shiny and wonderfully weird. A voice-heavy musical score was well-directed by Sarah Dworman ’27, who in a meta-theatrical flourish stood onstage, conducting the latter part of the show. The show, for all its narrative disjointedness, maintained a level of cohesion certainly attributable to the direction of Professor and Chair of Drama Christopher Grabowski.
Of the whole experience, a moment near the very end of the play will stick with me for a very long time. The final act eventually pits Bart against Mr. Burns in a climactic sword fight to the death, and as Bart, Evangelista gives a literally show-stopping performance. Her character is alone and fighting for his life, his dead family looking on in white veils. Eventually, he prevails, killing Mr. Burns and sending away his minions, Itchy and Scratchy. In that moment of sudden calm, the music subsides. And he sings an aria— about life and finding new meaning, about “meet[ing] life gloriously.”
It is an indescribably surreal moment. And amid all the ridiculousness of everything onstage, the sheer absurdity of a post-apocalyptic “Simpsons” opera executed with such earnestness—amid all that, Bart’s song moved me; profoundly. Somehow. It was a deeply emotional moment; the very kind Evangelista’s character in Act 2 would have shunned. In that difference, we see how society has rebuilt itself. How, decades later, the role of art is no longer to make you forget, but once again to make you feel.
To everyone out there: Watch more theater. It can be weird, but well worth it.
Considering the (nonexistent) sex lives of college girls
Eduardo Culmer Columnist
Are you comfortable kissing with the lights off? What about kissing with the lights… on? Oh, and, with or without clothing? At the start of our first year at Vassar, we filed into unfamiliar classrooms and completed a questionnaire responding to various questions about our sexual preferences and boundaries. As if that was not bad enough, we had to share our answers with a group of complete strangers. While I walked away from this conversation unscathed, one kid in my orientation group had a particularly difficult time articulating his feelings about sex and intimacy—he answered “No” to every question and appeared uncomfortable during our group discussions, fidgeting with his hands and paying acute attention to his feet during the whole meeting. And he was certainly not alone in his discomfort.
A study done by the Kinsey Institute and Lovehoney in 2021 has recently been making its rounds in news articles, Substack columns and TikTok thinkpieces. The statistics gleaned in the survey and regurgitated by “sex-perts” clearly state this fact: Generation Z is not having sex.
According to the survey, “one in four Gen Zers have never engaged in partnered sex,” which has led several news outlets to conclude Gen Z has issues when it comes to sex and intimacy, from verbalizing their feelings—á la the kid in my orientation group— to actually doing-the-deed, so to speak. For many millennials peering down on younger generations’ sex lives—which, as Rolling Stone points out, is a somewhat creepy and “bizarre fixation”—this turn away from sex positivity is strange and unexpected. With Gen Z media frequently centering around sex in an open
and sometimes raunchy manner (think “Sex Education” or “Big Mouth”), it is no surprise curious parties are scrambling to find explanations for Gen Z’s newfound sex aversion. The blame for this phenomenon usually falls onto one or a few of these things: technology addiction, Gen Z’s easy access to pornography, the epidemic of unwanted nudes, increased stress levels, mental health issues and… the rising tide of “Purity Culture.”
Originally popularized in the 1990s, Purity Culture is rooted in traditional Christian values and stresses the importance of retaining “purity” through abstaining from sex before marriage and evading the “temptation” of sexual exploration in your adolescent years.
Many of the TikTok video essayists and 40-something sex journalists opining on Gen Z sex assert we are currently in a resurgent wave of Purity Culture inspired by the “tradwife” movement and the rising religiosity and conservatism among younger demographics of people.
To get a real sense of whether or not members of Gen Z agree with the assessment that we are living in “Purity Culture 2.0,” I interviewed some of my classmates to ask them what they thought about the phenomenon. Do you think Gen Z is more sexually conservative than other generations?
SG: “No! Not at all. I feel like sex is way less stigmatized in our generation, and, like, it’s something that I feel like I can speak about a lot and talk about a lot and joke about a lot, and no one cares that much. It’s not that serious. And I think, in other generations, it’s not something that’s allowed to be spoken about.”
SK: “I think I feel like a lot of my friends at home, at least—I’m from the South—are more sexually conservative than people here, rather than just also from previous generations. I feel like the way they talk about it is different
than how we do—but I also think that it could be because of the whole sort of thing like… “Gen Z is going out less.” Like, staying in more and not partying.”
ND: “I guess it’s hard to say because I’ve heard, for context, that statistically we are less… sexually engaged. But I think within the bubbles of people I’m around, it doesn’t seem like that.”
How often do you talk to your peers about sex?
SG: “Honestly, quite often. I think it’s part of our regular conversation. It’s something healthy to talk about, and I also think it doesn’t have to be such a serious thing. And [my friends] don’t ever make me feel ashamed. However, I know who of my friends to divulge my sex business to and who I probably wouldn’t reveal as many details. But for the most part, most of my friends get all the NASTY details and no one really cares that much.”
SK: “Not that much. Maybe if I have a thing… or I have a person, then maybe. But not like, much.”
ND: “Pretty commonly, I’d say. It’s just, like, part of a casual discussion, so I’m never really aware of how much we’re doing it. It’s kind of a colloquial thing, almost. I don’t know anyone who I would discuss a sexual situation with who would try to make me feel guilty about it.”
AK: “Pretty often, lowkey. I feel like it’s because people take it a lot less seriously, in the sense that it’s not as big of a deal—to some people obviously. It’s a part of your life that you can talk to your friends about. But I mean I’m from LA, so I feel like I grew up in a pretty progressive city with my specific school and the friends I had, it was very normalized. But I’m very sure it would be different if I grew up somewhere else.”
After having conversations around the Vassar campus and reflecting on my experiences back home in Florida, I came to my own conclusions about Gen Z’s sex-phobia and the rising tide of Purity Culture in 2025: It is complicated. To say that, overall, an entire generation of people is less sexually progressive than generations before seems way too reductive. My problem with many of the articles I have read or the videos I have watched is that these millennials’ analyses lack nuance.
Many people from progressive areas such as Los Angeles or New York City had markedly different experiences with sex education and discussions than those who grew up in more conservative areas like Charleston, South Carolina or—in my case—West Palm Beach, Florida.
A Californian I interviewed, for instance, knew about her friend’s mom’s sex toys and frequently had conversations with the adults around her about self-pleasure without any shame attached. Meanwhile, a Southerner I interviewed never received a formal sex education and did not feel comfortable asking about the function of different sex organs until they were a junior in high school. While I do believe Purity Culture is on the rise amongst some Gen Zer communities, it is definitely not a prevalent idea amongst all people of our age.
Countless bloggers and essayists of older generations have posed the question: “Is Gen Z too ‘chronically online’ to have sex?” And, while I think there might be some validity to their inquiries, I do wonder whether the answer to this question is actually that millennials need to touch grass and, as Rolling Stone said, worry about their own larger problems “without concerning themselves with whether 17-year-olds are banging”... or, just comfortable kissing with the lights off.
After layoffs,
BREAKING NEWS
From
the desk of Oliver Stewart, Humor Editor
Easter
Bunny to accept responsibilities as Memorial Bunny and Presidents’ Bunny. Arbor Bunny and Labor Bunny talks to come.
Evil admitted students day looms large
Emma daRosa Evil Assistant Humor Editor
You all may have noticed a hoard of high school seniors descending upon campus on our snowy day last week. Admitted students day is a time honored tradition that allows the newest batch of Vassar College students to look at campus with their parents, enjoy sandwiches that the Deece has once a year and hear from at least four people that Vassar is actually a nationally recognized pianoretum thanks to the 200 different species of Steinway pianos. This year, however, the College has determined that some admitted students just aren’t being served by these two days: The evil ones. That’s right: Coming up next Friday is Vassar’s first-ever Evil Admitted Students Day! This day is aimed specifically at all the students who can’t wait to come and cause mayhem everywhere they go, and who want to get a look at the seedy underbelly of Vassar College. Evil Admitted Students Day is an opportunity for the most evil admitted students to become acquainted with the most evil parts of Vassar. The plans for this day are supposed to be a big surprise, as the administration doesn’t want to advertise the evil parts of Vassar to the non-evil
admitted students. Dear readers, fear not! My eternally reliable source, someone I can promise is as close to President Bradley as one can be, came through. That’s right, the one, the only, Brohn Jadley has given me the skinny on Evil Admitted Students Day.
“Basically, the whole polished, perfect look at the place just isn’t right for everyone coming here. We had all the admitted students who came last year fill out a survey, and the overwhelmingly most common response was ‘This was fine, but I just feel like I’m more evil. I wish I had gotten to see the evil parts of Vassar,’ followed closely by ‘the potato salad was a little dry.’ We want to make sure every admitted student feels welcome here, so we wanted to hold space for our evil students and evil Vassar to come together.”
But what does this mean? I needed more specifics. Jadley, as always, came through in a huge way.
“Emma, let me give it to you straight. Some students are evillll. Some stuff at Vassar is super evillll. We want students to know that they have a home here, even if they’re evil. So, the activities are going to be like ‘evil tour.’ No bullshit about the arboretum. This is for those who can handle
the real gritty stuff. I’m talking looking at the Raymond Basement, looking at a TH fresh after a party and walking into a class where someone is going on their eighth minute of virtue signaling instead of responding to the question, and the professor doesn’t know how to cut someone off. We are going to send those bitches into a Deece with no sweet treats except for leftover breakfast danishes and burnt sugar cookies. There will be one delicious-sounding thing at Oasis, but Oasis will be closed. Every other station will be as follows: Brick Oven: clam and eggplant pizza; Home: clam and eggplant pasta; Kosher: eggplant soup; Grill: just grilled clams and eggplant, nothing else; Global: clam and eggplant concept. We’ve got big plans for clam and eggplant potato salad, and of course, Your Kitchen will be stocked with eggplant and clams. We are going to make them walk through the Bridge and drop a metal water bottle. There will be no cute little sandwiches and ice cream bars. We are going to MAKE SURE it is raining. You didn’t hear this from me, but anyone who doesn’t want to see Dean Alamo’s ‘landing gear’ shouldn’t go to Sunset Lake on Thursday evening, lest they see him doing a naked rain dance. President Bradley is going
to give a speech to the parents about every bad thing that has happened here this year, and then someone who doesn’t like her is going to get on stage and talk about supporting genocide and underpaying women. It should be totally off the hook!”
This reporter is glad to hear that students are getting a look at the real Vassar. But what evil stuff will the students themselves be doing? Don’t worry, Jadley had the scoop on that too.
“Oh it’s going to be awful. They’re all going to be talking to each other the entire time about Ivies they ‘got into’ but chose not to go to. They’re going to shit and not flush. Those bastards… I almost don’t want to say but god dammit Emma, I just respect you too much to hide it. They’re going to walk into the exit of the dish pit.”
I shudder to think of the mayhem that we can expect next Friday. Jadley and I ended our conversation here as he started quaking about sharing the president’s secrets in a very Dobby-esque kind of way. I hope, however, that all the most evil-admitted students feel at home after their special day. My advice for you? Lock your doors, skip your classes, maybe spend some Arlington bucks for lunch. And to the evil admitted students? Have fun!
HOROSCOPES
Nandini Likki Astronomic Astrologer
ARIES March 21 | April 19
When I was four years old, my mom took me to a play: a comedic farce about a man getting fired from his job. I, being four years old, thought the man was about to be incinerated live on stage. I bawled so hard my mom had to drag me out of the theater. The lesson of this story is this week, you should develop a deep disdain of capitalist working practices. Maybe you’ll prevent a fiery death.
TAURUS April 20 | May 20
I haven’t told a lot of people about this, but when I was a freshman and his daughter still went to Vassar, Jim Gaffigan of “That ’70s Show” fame tried to hit on me. I think he saw my big, dumb glasses, my Hot Topic kappa shirt and beautiful blue jorts, and thought, “Wow, she’s the one.” On Saturday, you will receive a call from Jim Gaffigan. But don’t pick up! It’s meant for me. Duh.
GEMINI May 21 | June 20
My old childhood friend Reva used to have these little Revlon Parfumerie scented nail polishes that looked like miniature vintage perfumes. My favorite scent and color was China Flower, a bright red. I wanted to steal it from her so bad. Now Revlon has discontinued them. Paint your nails red in different ways.
CANCER June 21 | July 22
Her bone structure screams, “Touch her! Touch her!” / And she’s got the curse of curves / So with the combination of my gift with one-liners / And my way, my way with words / It seems I’m too hip to keep tight lipped / And you’re on the gossip team / You’re making something out of nothing / And jealousy’s the cousin, the cousin of greed.
LEO July 23 | Aug. 22
You’re going to try to open the Deece doors this week like a Big Strong Manly Man-Man, but alas! The handle is broken again and you will be unable to get your honeydew melon for breakfast. Take this as an opportunity to grow and learn, specifically by growing and learning at the gym. No muscle pains, no muscle gains.
VIRGO Aug. 23 | Sept. 22
Please go home and do nothing. Don’t do anything. Why are you walking around campus and doing things when you could be at home, doing nothing? Have you forgotten the immeasurable joys of doing nothing? Don’t delay. Do nothing.
LIBRA Sept. 23 | Oct. 22
SCORPIO Oct. 23 | Nov. 21
SAGITTARIUS Nov. 22 | Dec. 21
Let’s say, hypothetically, you have a professor who keeps giving you B+s on your weekly essays. Let’s even say you try to improve your writing to get a higher grade, but it goes nowhere and the professor is still handing out those bitter Bs. Why even try anymore? It’s not like you’re going to grad school. Take those papers, and toss them in the river, brother.
I met this girl once named Nikita. I thought she liked me, but it turned out that she got all my other friends to turn against me and started an “I Hate Nandini” club (clever title). She only met me once and decided that I was worthy enough to have antis. Everyone you meet this week will feel similarly towards you. Don’t let it get to your head.
I’m really annoyed by other Telugu-Americans who are “obsessed with Telugu culture”. All they end up doing is making cringe reels on Instagram about educating their white friends. I think this is worse than not engaging with Indian culture at all. Imagine having an Italian friend who’s really into “The Bicycle Thieves.” Please watch some American movies this week, eat a burger.
CAPRICORN Dec. 22 | Jan. 19
It’s your lucky day! This week your Sim in “The Sims 4” is going to have hot hot ghost sex with their dead partner and unlock the secret achievement “What Would it Be Like?” You’ve been trying for ages but none of your Sims want to have sex. Why? What do they know about sex that you don’t? What do you mean I’ve been playing “The Sims” too much?
AQUARIUS Jan. 20 | Feb. 18
PISCES Feb. 19 | March 20
Why are commitment issues only sexy when men have them? I tell every first date that I have an avoidant attachment style, and they only respond with stuff like, “Oh my gawd, Nandy, that’s a totally minus vibe thing to say in this Chilis.” If someone does to you this week, just stuff your purse with chicken crispers and storm out. Life’s too short.
Did you know that if you directly translate the words for “earwax,” “rheum” and “snot” from Chinese to English, they become “ear shit,” “eye shit” and “nose shit?” This makes a killer rhythmic chant to hum under your breath when you’re walking to class. Earshiteyeshitnoseshit. Say it to your friends! Earshiteyeshitnoseshit. Recite it to your boss! Earshiteyeshitnoseshit. Sing it while you’re signing divorce papers! Please call me back, Deborah.
Vassar to microchip students; campus trembles with fear
buzzwords to tack onto his statement, but floundered and decided to go meditate instead.
Vassar College has announced plans to implant microchips in students that will zap them when they walk the wrong way in the Deece dishroom. This decision comes after years of the dining staff being “sick and tired” of the traffic and congestion in the dishroom.
“I have had it up to here with you people,” said Head of Campus Dining, Gordon Common. “I cannot take it anymore. It makes so much sense to have people come IN one way and OUT the other, but these students are idiots. We foolishly thought our signs and footprints would help, but clearly not. I’m thrilled that the college was willing to implement this plan. I think good things will come out of it.”
Every student will have to make a trip to Baldwin in the next week to get microchipped. The chip will go in the back of the neck, taking care to avoid anywhere a messenger bag strap would interfere with the healing process. A small electric shock will be delivered when a student disobeys the footprints and walks the wrong way in the Deece dishroom, and will be inactive the rest of the time.
“I am disgusted by this violation of my civil liberties,” said Maria Milovanovic ’27. “I did not consent to this gross miscarriage of justice. I will take action.” The College administration then showed Milovanovic the student agreement she signed upon admission to Vassar, which clearly states the College is allowed to microchip students at will, and no action may be taken against them. Milovanovic is planning on taking inaction by sitting on President Bradley’s floor and not leaving until the microchips are removed.
“This is a beautiful thing for Vassar,” said Dean Luis Inoa. “We believe the microchips will promote ideals of student wellness and collaborative cooperation. The Restorative Practices team is focusing on healing meditations and holistic heartiness for all involved.” Dean Inoa tried to find more
Strange things have been afoot with the first round of chips. Zach Flisakowski ’27 was one of the first students to be chipped in the testing stage and has reported oddities. “Yeah, it’s really weird,” said Flisakowski, rubbing his neck. “I walked the right way through the dishroom, but when I left the Deece, I went to cut across the Nircle and felt a little zap.”
The microchips are only supposed to be active in the Deece, so it’s peculiar that a student was shocked outside. Further investigation into the matter led back to Gordon Common, who declined to comment with a glare. However, Mr. Common dropped a slip of paper from his pocket as he stormed off. The paper read “BOXES IN LIBRARY BASEMENT,” and after lots of digging, The Misc uncovered boxes and boxes of files in the library (under M for Microchip) detailing the College’s plans in full. Vassar plans to chip every student as reported, but not to control Deece traffic. Instead, the microchips will shock students who stray from the paths and walk across campus with no rhyme or reason.
“Oh, this was the plan from the jump,” said President Bradley when asked to comment. “I’m sick of people walking wherever they want instead of wherever I want. I plan on zapping students who stray even the slightest bit from the paths. I’m also planning on mass-producing the chips and selling them to other colleges, so I’ll be raising tuition to cover manufacturing costs. With your help, we’ll put a microchip in every liberal arts freak in America!”
Some students are reportedly trying to use magnets to deactivate their microchips. Others are tinkering in the Innovation Lab to try to invent surgery robots to remove them. Others still will be holding restorative meditative talking circles to try to process the chipping that will overtake us all. No matter what, Vassar students are sure to remain fearlessly consequential and fearlessly chipped.
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
Josie Wenner Microchip Maniac
Nicholas Tillinghast/The Miscellany News.
OPINIONS
Oppositional identity has cooked the Democrats
Ian Watanabe Assistant Opinions Editor
Many Democrats are celebrating the Supreme Court special election victory in Wisconsin and Senator Cory Booker’s record-breaking filibuster denouncing Trump. Booker’s call to action was certainly a welcome contrast to Gavin Newsom going on a podcast with trained MAGA figures Steve Bannon and Charlie Kirk. The New York Times declared that the Democratic Party now has a pulse after a few months of relative silence and even messages of cooperation.
I am glad that the Democrats are showing some resolve against the Trump administration: It is better than nothing. But they had a “pulse” in the 2024 election, too. The left’s prevailing strategy leading up to November was to preach the evils and incompetence of Trump, often talking more about him than their own policy plans. Though cathartic, this was a bad strategy. If politicians tell me they are anti-Trump, that tells me nothing about what they want for the country or what policies they believe in. Without the left presenting ideas of their own, public discourse centers around Trump as a person, which is exactly what he wants. Trump’s policy hurts the people who vote for him, and with any other candidate, this would be
an obstacle. But the sheer emphasis on his personality displaces the issues and turns elections into popularity contests. The MAGA movement is clearly good at winning those.
To be specific, Trump is good at winning elections when he is running against an incumbent Democrat. If the opposite party is in power, he can take the average voter’s suffering and whip up fears surrounding it. Trump won in 2016 and 2024 when a Democrat was in power and lost in 2020 when he was in power. I do not think this is an accident. When Trump sits in the Oval Office, who can he blame? If you follow the White House Instagram page, you will see many photos, tweets and AI images bragging about all the people he is deporting and how tough he is on our closest allies. His team is trying to frame him as a man of action by touting everything he does. But when these policies start wreaking havoc on people’s lives, Trump can not weasel off responsibility for the same actions he has bragged about.
This is not to say that the Democrats need to simply sit back, relax and wait for all the voters to run back to them. Part of the reason that Trump has such support is that many people feel that the Democratic Party is utterly blind to their struggles. If segments of voters believe the Democrats are not recep-
tive to their needs, they are not going to vote blue, even if red acts like a dictator and puts us into a recession. The opposition needs to make major changes in their image and policy if they want to be a good alternative. Unfortunately, the Democrats have had some terrible strategies when it comes to swing voters. During election season, the Party tried to redeem itself by moving toward the center and distancing itself from overly liberal rhetoric. You could point to Democratic candidates bragging that they own guns or their promises not to ban fracking. I am thinking of an ad from Poughkeepsie’s Congressman Pat Ryan from the election season that said, “Pat Ryan is a different kind of Democrat!” It showed him jogging in an army shirt, shaking hands with police and reading bedtime stories to his kids. While it did not seem to stop him from winning, it did play into the exact same myths that Republicans have about Democrats. That is, the myth that “normal” Democrats are unmasculine, avoid the military and have no family values. These statements are stereotypes. But the fact that Pat Ryan had to separate himself from the stereotypes displays that Republicans already control many of the narratives. The Democrats are often too busy fighting a label that was imposed from the outside, and in doing so, they reinforce the label. Additionally, this strategy
alienates the more progressive voters while failing to bring in new ones. If the Democrats want success with voters who may be dissatisfied with the Republicans, they need to create an identity based on what they stand for, rather than what they reject. They rejected Trump as a person in 2024 without always defining what they would do instead. That only fueled the partisan divide, allowing GOP narratives to gain more ground. They also tried to reject the labels and aesthetics of “wokeness,” again not focusing on issues like the economy. That Pat Ryan ad, God bless him, told me little about what he planned to do, only that he enjoyed running. I enjoy running too, but nobody is electing me for Congress. The American people deserve more than political theatre.
It is not enough to act tough against Trump or against “wokeness.” The solution is something more challenging than that. It is to create a platform that satisfies working-class interests, not just working-class aesthetics. This means reducing corporate influence in politics, protecting institutions that people rely on and defending the freedoms of women and immigrants. Democrats are already trying to do these things, but they need to inform their voters about how their economic and political plans will help their constituents.
We are all under threat, and you need to wake up
Jacob Cifuentes Assistant Opinions Editor
Iamterrified. Over the past month, we have seen legally challenged flights to prisons in El Salvador, detentions following visas that were revoked without prior notice and international graduate students practically being kidnapped for speaking out against Israel. Specifically, there was a case at Tufts University of a Turkish student named Rumeysa Öztürk who, according to WGBH, was ambushed on a sidewalk by a dozen masked Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) officers on the way to her friend’s Iftar dinner, and was shortly abducted and detained by these incognito personnel. The investigation so far has revealed that all she did was write an op-ed in the Tufts student newspaper that was critical of their administration’s decisions regarding divestment. Somehow, Homeland Security has branded her as a supporter of Hamas, despite the fact that her article did not once mention Hamas. This is a clearcut violation of the First Amendment protections of free speech, yet the Trump administration implies that these protections for non-citizens have been thrown into the garbage.
Every single person on this Earth deserves the right to due process, but they are taking that away from you. That is an attack on your humanity. I am sorry we are like this, but you have to keep your head down, and hopefully, we will have your back if things get rough.
Another case, that of Kilmar Abrego Garcia, involved a Salvadorian-born, Maryland resident, husband and father who, according to Reuters, was deported on one of these aforementioned flights to an El Salvadorian prison. Abrego Garcia had been labelled as a leader of the criminal organization MS-13, despite having left his home country and gaining legal immunity from deportation out of fear for his life from gangs back in El Salvador. The Trump Administration has admitted this deportation to be an error, yet both the United States and El Salvador have declined to return him home, despite a Supreme Court Order to do so, per BBC News.
While these detentions and deportations have solely targeted non-citizens, everyone residing in the United States is at risk. The Trump administration is trying to make examples out of Öztürk and other students to keep all those with dissenting viewpoints on American imperialism and exceptionalism in line. These actions are startlingly similar to the terrible policies of fascist states in the past. Dictatorships like Nazi Germany and Dirty War Era Argentina sent out secret police operatives to intimidate, detain and murder political dissidents, many of which were university students. In our case, the administration and its corporate backers not only wish to violently silence opposition, but they also wish to force the working class into submission through scare tactics and the rising cost of living. This historical precedent is like an open book test for us; we have all the information we need to cut the malarkey and understand that these deportations are a fascist ploy to scare us all to fall in line with the Administration’s agendas. We cannot afford to fail this test.
Just by writing this piece, I am putting a target on my back if Homeland Security decides that citizens are liable to be detained for whatever ridiculous reason in the future. However, there is a justification for taking that risk. What is the point of having a moral compass if you do not speak
out when history repeats itself? If I just sat in my dorm room like a good patriot and turned a blind eye to the havoc that American imperialism and capitalist terror are wreaking on this country’s people and the
This historical precedent is like an open book test for us; we have all the information we need to cut the malarkey and understand that these deportations are a fascist ploy to scare us all to fall in line with the Administration’s agendas. We cannot afford to fail this test.
world, I would be going against everything that we learned since we were little about standing up to bullies. And yes, Trump is worse than a bully. He is what Vajrayana Buddhism calls a Rudra: A deeply malicious being bent on conquest that has an incomprehensible ego. This selfish puppet, his greedy friends and his shady advisors have hypnotized half the nation into complicity and seek to beat the other half into fear. While fear is a natural emotion to feel at this time, we cannot afford paralysis. If you are a citizen, do anything you can to tell the world, loud and clear, that this Administration is the embodiment of all that is wrong in the world. They have no concern over human life, are completely focused on funneling all the country’s wealth into the hands of the one percent, and are deeply bigoted and hilariously incompetent. Repost the news cycles, organize in your communities, write op-eds for The Miscellany News, attend protests safely and annoy your representatives. Also, keep your joy and your love. They want us to be in shock, and while that is a
valid response to rising prices, families being separated and a worldwide trade war, you still have positivity in your life. Without recognizing that there are still aspects of your life worthy of celebration, the despair will stop you from participating in meaningful action. You must embrace and protect that positivity. Cultivate your empathy and weaponize it against the wave of hatred that is flooding us coast to coast. Do not let these monsters harden your heart. We must keep our relationships with each other tight because we have willpower individually, but together, we have true strength.
To those who lack citizenship, all I can say is that I am deeply sorry. I am sorry we have likely exploited your home, and that when you come here because things got unstable or dangerous, we make you walk on eggshells and threaten to kick you out of our club. You must know that you are worthy of studying here and making this place your home. Some of you have been my mentors, teammates and best friends, and I cannot imagine a world where you were barred from being here with me. Every single person on this Earth deserves the right to due process, but they are taking that away from you. That is an attack on your humanity. I am sorry we are like this, but you have to keep your head down, and hopefully, we will have your back if things get rough.
The threat of a surveillance state unjustifiably kidnapping people from their homes may be the most alarming development in the past decade of Make America Great Again’s (MAGA) insufferable presence, but you have to know that the cause of these problems is not just a powerful man. It is a system. It is the wheels of capitalism being threatened by changing geopolitical tides and speeding up to compensate and scare the workforce into submission. It is Buddhist Samsara and Rastafari Babylon. It is our divine right and duty to preserve goodness and resist evil, and I hope you can join me in learning to embody that truth.
Listen to radio: Spotify with a human soul
Clara Alger Managing Editor
Does an algorithm pick new music for you? If you are a Spotify user like me, the answer might be yes.
When I open the app, I am confronted with algorithmically curated “Picked for you” and “New releases for you.” Other times, I will see “Your top mixes,” “Recents” or “Made for Clara.” The common denominator is that it is all music specifically selected for my tastes based on what I already listen to. A shuffling of the same artists over and over, the same genres, with only a handful of actually new-to-me songs. Yet, even those supposedly new songs always seem like they come from listeners like me, keeping me in the endless loop of liberal arts indie kids who enjoy Big Thief and Alex G.
It was not always like this! I did not have Spotify until the pandemic. For a while, my family used Napster and, before that, Rhapsody. Yet, these services never felt like the driving force of our music life. What really felt like the fixture of my childhood was the radio.
My mom and I had a long drive to school
Though it might seem dramatic, I am arguing that hanging on to the radio is part of retaining our humanity in an increasingly online and corporate-driven world. For me, the radio feels like tuning into a larger human community, whereas my Spotify feels more individualistic and untethered.
every day for years, and we would faithfully tune into the local Philly radio station, WXPN, at 7 a.m. every day. Kristen Kurtis, the morning DJ, became a familiar companion. On Friday nights, we listened to the station’s show, Funky Friday, and as a little kid, I tuned into “Kid’s Corner” on Monday nights.
Over time, my dad discovered the world of streaming radio, expanding our radio world. When I recently asked him about his love of streaming radio, I expected a story set in the 2000s, stumbling across a new web page. Instead, he told me about his childhood, sitting in the living room and tuning into world music through shortwave radio. The technology allowed for international broadcasting and experienced its heyday between 1960 and 1990. He recalled dialing between stations and encountering stations from faraway countries, opening up his musical world. Since the beginning, he valued how radio could introduce us to music we would never otherwise encounter.
And so, over time, KCRW, a station located in Santa Monica, became the constant soundtrack to our kitchen. KEXP, a Seattle-based station, soon followed. As we listened, favorite DJs emerged: Novena Carmel of KCRW and John Richards’ daily motivation and eclectic rock on KEXP. We have also always been fans of college radio, and our wackiest finds often come through the airwaves of WPRB, Princeton’s station. Many of my playlists feature songs my Dad Shazamed while listening to the college station. Now, at Vassar, I turn on WVKR anytime I am driving around the area. Listening to independent radio takes you outside of your bubble of comfortable music. It is an expansive experience—you never know what will play next—and makes your musical world richer. While algorithms are hesitant to recommend anything you might dislike or find bizarre, a radio show can include all sorts of unexpected tracks. For me, loving the radio embodies valuing “big ears:” listening from a place of curio-
sity and openness, asking your brain to consider new sounds, new cultures and providing opportunities to find new artists and go down new rabbit holes. I love the jolt of joy I get from finding a song I have never heard before that makes me want to dance. And I love the joy of the randomness of the radio—it feels almost divine to hear a song you have not heard in years on a weekend afternoon in the car.
But besides just making you a more dynamic person, I think valuing radio fights the internet brain-rotification of our lives. Algorithm-driven services like Spotify are trying to push you into a niche so they can market to you better. More and more, AIgenerated songs and even whole bands are appearing on the platform, generating streams and slipping into playlist recommendations. This new descent towards AI can make music consumption on these apps feel less real, less human and more boring. Contrastingly, independent radio stations are powered by human DJs, with all of their idiosyncratic tastes. Though it might seem dramatic, I am arguing that hanging on to the radio is part of retaining our humanity in an increasingly online and corporate-driven world. For me, the radio feels like tuning into a larger human community, whereas my Spotify feels more individualistic and untethered.
For a while, my family used Napster and, before that, Rhapsody. Yet, these services never felt like the driving force of our music life. What really felt like the fixture of my childhood was the radio.
For independent radio, this is by design. They are always supported by listener membership in some capacity, making
It is an expansive experience—you never know what will play next—and makes your musical world richer. While algorithms are hesitant to recommend anything you might dislike or find bizarre, a radio show can include all sorts of unexpected tracks.
them a place more intentionally designed for you. Their curation includes on-air requests from listeners, people calling in, commentary from DJs and the physical community when stations plan shows and events. To enjoy these spaces, we must actively commit to them.
I do still love my Spotify account, but I try to balance this by going to KCRW’s new music playlist before I check out my over-personalized “Release Radar.” There are also a lot of Spotify users who are making a name for themselves through curated playlists. The user “margeaux” is a good example of this. She posts “what I’m listening to now” playlists chock-full of diverse sounds, along with more themed collections as well. I think profiles like hers can play the DJ role within streaming, adding that aspect of diverse human taste and community. In addition, I will look to magazines and sites like Pitchfork or The Line of Best Fit for new reviews, but I still gravitate towards reading about artists I already know. The surprise aspect of the radio cannot be beaten. So the next time you feel like your recent playlist is not hitting anymore, I encourage you to tune into your local radio. Stations streaming online make it easier than ever, and WVKR has lots of great student shows. You might just find your new favorite artist!
Berk Meral/The Miscellany News.
Brewer explains Indian Premier League mania
Yaksha Gummadapu Features Editor
As I cleaned the snow off my car on Saturday morning, my fingers numb and nose red, my mind drifted home, where it is summer and more importantly, Indian Premier League (IPL) season.
Summer in Hyderabad, India meant early morning bike rides, mid-days spent hiding from the relentless sun and the best part: the evenings spent sitting in my neighbourhood park, sweating and fending off mosquitoes much quicker than I am, to watch the latest IPL match projected live onto a massive white wall in front of me. Perspiration sealed my skin to the rickety plastic chairs I shared with childhood friends, whose parents were probably watching the game with mine for the next three hours. While Brewers all eagerly await the first consistently 60-degree week of spring at Vassar, I dare to dream of my ideal summer night: watching cricket with the bros.
Cricket came to India with the British. Of all the lasting impacts of colonialism, my friends will tell you cricket is the most important and relevant. While I would disagree, I can admit that the game’s impact and presence throughout the motherland are ubiquitous. Little children claim local gullies, loosely translated to alleyways, hoping to hit a tennis ball far enough to win the praise of peers, but not hard enough to dent any cars. National team players are multimedia stars who act, date actors, model, date models and sell you a variety of products from insurance to underwear. Every version of cricket—Test, One Day International (ODI) and Twenty20 (T20) —is watched and revered throughout the country.
Before I confuse you any further, let me give you a quick rundown of cricket rules that are the same across the three formats. Cricket is a game played between two teams of 11 players each. The teams bat one after another for a set number of balls, trying to
rack up as many runs as they can. The number of balls are divided into “overs” and there are six balls per over. After both teams have batted, the team with the highest number of runs wins. You can score runs by running between the wickets (three sticks on either side of the rectangular pitch) while the opposing team tries to get the ball, hitting the ball to the field boundary (four runs) or hitting the ball out of the field boundary (six runs). If the opposing team catches the ball before it hits the ground, or hits the wickets with the ball while the batsmen run between the wickets, the batsman is out, i.e., he is dismissed. The next batsman in the lineup takes his place.
The different formats of cricket are usually based on how many overs are played. The IPL is in the T20 format. This is the shortest version of the game, played with only twenty overs, which means there are only 120 balls bowled to each team. This format is relatively new and is a direct product of the popularity of televised league sports akin to the National Football League (NFL) or National Basketball Association (NBA).
Cricket in any other format is long and therefore not the most easily consumed piece of media. Lalit Modi, the founder of the IPL, wanted to mould cricket into a TV sensation. So the game was shortened. Colorful jerseys, jingles, cheerleaders and celebrity endorsements were introduced to the Indian people. Building on the already established devotional fervour for the sport, the IPL annually turns the summer into a season of mania and vibrancy that is designed to attract billions to make billions.
However inherently capitalist the IPL is, I enjoy it for the same factors that created the money-making machine. It is unapologetically catered to the Indian people. Cricket itself does not solely belong to India; no matter how much we contribute to the sport and love it, it will always have its colonial origins. IPL, on the other hand, is so Indian. The teams are from all across the country,
and each team’s marketing is heavily centered on the language, culture and media of the region the team is from. Therefore, the bracket represents the immense diversity of the country, and each match is a showdown between distinct but simultaneously shared culture.
I am from Hyderabad, so my home team, Sunrisers Hyderabad, is synonymous with my city’s culture and language, Telugu. References to the Telugu film industry, Telugu music and Telugu people are a core part of the team. Even my non-Telugu speaking friends know the entire Sunrisers anthem, which is in Telugu, by heart.
Since only four non-Indian players can be in the playing 11 of a team, the IPL also presents a huge opportunity for homegrown talent to flourish and jumpstart their careers. Only elite foreign players find themselves in the IPL. So many young Indian players rise to fame by putting on stellar IPL performances, earning spots on national teams for different tournaments and formats. While there are other national cricket leagues in other countries, none are on the same level as the IPL in terms of skill, funding, viewers and numerous other metrics. New generations of cricket legends are born in the IPL, since being able to play against the best of the best allows these young players to gain experience for international matches. All of this gives Indian cricketers an upper hand in the game and industry.
And it is not just the Indian players who bring in the cultural element. Foreign cricketers tend to spend extended amounts of time in the cities they play for, interacting with and learning a great deal about the local culture. Not to be creepy but I know where Pat Cummins, the captain of the Australian cricket team and the Sunrisers team, gets breakfast every morning when he is in my city. It is the same cafe where I spent four hours explaining lacrosse to my friends back home. The ex-captain of the Sunrisers, David Warner, also an Australian player, was
known to do iconic dance moves from Telugu movies during games and frequently posted videos of his daughters dancing to Telugu music. Imagine this: for a few months every year, your biggest foreign sports idols are in your city, drinking your go-to coffee order, eating your local delicacies and watching your regional movies. Surreal and special. Sometimes, like today, I miss cricket. I miss yelling at the TV in a bar, hoping that this season is our season, giggling to my girlfriends over which players I would trust with my heart and laughing at the playful digs made at rival teams in ads. I miss it because, for a girl who usually does not care about sports, the IPL calls out to me. It is a love for community, competition and culture to the soundtrack of my city and my country. And that is why the IPL may never be an international affair. My friends at Vassar, with the notable exception of the illustrious Vassar College Cricket Association, will never love Virat Kohli the way my friends back home worship Lebron James. Even though the IPL undoubtedly has all the glitz and glam and glory that the NBA or Premier League have, it may never have that reach because it is not meant for a plethora of viewers. It does not need anyone but the billions of people in the Indian subcontinent to watch it. It is so unique to be a part of such a massive cultural phenomenon that does not resonate with most of the people I interact with daily. I am from Hyderabad and it is summer in India right now. That means my team, my boys in orange, my Hyderabad Sunrisers, are battling for glory in the sweltering heat. In the middle of the day, when I am in a political science lecture, which is when my friends are having their nightly summer routine of IPL watching, and I get a text saying “BRO ARE YOU WATCHING THIS SHIT RN?” I know that we either cooked or got cooked. And either way, I wish I were sitting next to them, chugging cold water, biting my nails and praying this is the year the cup comes home.
UConn women’s basketball win 12th national title
Luke Jenkins Features Editor
Sometimes“March Madness” is mad because of its unpredictability—its thrilling upsets, buzzer beaters and Cinderella runs. But the women’s final between The University of Connecticut’s Huskies and the University of South Carolina’s Gamecocks was “mad” for a different reason: It was a blow out, with the Huskies trouncing the Gamecocks 82-59 to secure an even dozen NCAA tournament wins, all under longtime head coach Geno Auriemma.
It was a storybook affair, really. Paige Bueckers, UConn star and No. 1 WNBA draft pick for the Dallas Wings, had not yet won a national championship. The team lost to South Carolina in the 2022 final 49-64. But Bueckers, who has the highest points-per-game in the squad’s history, now joins the ranks of Husky greats like Maya Moore and Breanna Stewart, who all sport multiple rings. And she got revenge after UConn’s 2022 loss during her sophomore season.
Brewer forward Ava Gurley ’26 picked the Gamecocks for the win, but was excited for Bueckers: “I do think just as a women’s basketball fan, it’s impossible not to be happy for Paige and her getting to finish her college career with a championship. She’s worked so hard and done so much to help grow the sport, so every win for her is very
well-deserved,” she wrote in an email to The Miscellany News
“The final Paige in the book of Bueckers,” to quote announcer Ryan Ruocco, was also the first page in a new book—that of forward Sarah Strong. Strong won Freshman of the Year and is scarily great pretty much anywhere on the court. What heights could she reach in these next few years? Legendary South Carolina Head Coach Dawn Staley said it best: “She might [become] the best player to come out of UConn.”
Strong, alongside guard Azzi Fudd, makes a solid case for a potential championship repeat, a feat UConn is much more familiar with than the Gamecocks. For evidence of her future stardom, see Strong sink a three-pointer to open UConn’s win against the University of Southern California, or when she battled through the paint to score UConn’s first points in the final. The first quarter of the final matchup was quick and close. But cracks in South Carolina began to show as the Gamecocks were unable to respond to UConn’s solid defense. A brutal block from Strong denied Gamecocks guard Bree Hall from tying the game 13-13. Fudd stole at midcourt to give UConn a 17-14 lead. And then Strong stole while falling to the ground to deny the Gamecocks a response. The quarter continued almost scoreless, until a Bueckers jump shot widened the gap to 19-14.
UConn’s lead doubled to 10 points by
halftime. And then things crumbled for the 2024 championship winning school. Coach Staley took a seat on the bench within a minute of the third quarter’s start. She was hard to look away from on the sidelines, in a blue beaded tracksuit, visibly defeated. But like her beaded suit, blue was the theme of the night, from the “Final Four” court logo featuring Tampa Bay to the navy UConn jerseys that streamed by during breakways.
After a few good runs from South Carolina—see guard MiLaysia Fulwiley’s epic break—the game stood at 50-39. Auriemma then called a time out, immediately stopping any momentum in its tracks. The move showed his wealth of experience—at 71, he is the oldest coach to lead a team to a national championship. From around the three minute mark in the third quarter, to the three minute mark in the fourth, UConn scored 30 points. The Gamecocks scored just nine, putting the total at 80-48. From there, it was just a matter of running out the clock. The star lineup was pulled with more than a minute left. Cameras panned to catch Bueckers hugging Auriemma while the game continued. And then the confetti fell.
Fudd appeared composed in a post game sideline interview with Holly Rowe, my favorite sideline fixture in the tournament and in the WNBA. Rowe asked how the Huskies controlled the tone of the night, given the Gamecocks were on a 71 home game
winning streak. “Playing UConn basketball and staying confident, staying poised, staying smart,” said Fudd. She would then go on her own media tour, gracing Good Morning America, and even a local Raising Cane’s with sophomore guard KK Arnold. I for one wish I could have crossed state lines and been there ordering a Caniac combo. While the NCAA continues to soul search amid the new transfer portal and new name, image and likeness (NIL) deals, the women’s tournament managed to craft an interesting, if not “mad,” narrative with Bueckers at the helm. It was not as exciting as the last two years, but viewership doubled since the last time South Carolina and UConn met in the national championship final in 2022. And there were other stand out moments. Gurley wishes the final four matchups were not blowouts, but she states “It was very cool to see the run Texas made and Lauren Betts made with UCLA after both of those teams hadn’t been top contenders in a long time.”
Who knows who will become top contenders next year? Perhaps UConn’s dominance is a tale that will not end. But for now, it meant this year’s final was still a compelling watch, regardless of the lopsided game. Who knows if the Huskies’s victory lap will see them win another title. But this Brewer is hoping the UCLA Bruins come out on top, if only because of our exciting interview with guard Avary Cain.
Brewers Ballin’: Dowd continues winning for Brewers
Our goal with Brewers Ballin’ is to feature Vassar athletes who starred for their team the week previous to publishing. If you would like to nominate an athlete, please email hfrance@vassar.edu.
Brewers Ballin’
Name: Macey Dowd
Year: Senior
Team: Women’s tennis
Stats: Senior Macey Dowd has been an integral part of the Brewers’ success this Spring, including the women’s tennis surge to the top of the Liberty League as a result of a spotless 4-0 in conference play. Dowd has been on a run since March, winning her past five matches in just two sets as well as nine of her past ten doubles matches. Dowd notably garnered Liberty League doubles player of the week in March on the way to Iris Lee’s ’26 and her seventh best doubles record in the Liberty League.
Statement: This has been a great senior season. We’re facing the toughest competition we’ve ever had, and everyone is working hard and excited for the upcoming Liberty League championship!
Recently in Vassar Brewers sports
Men’s volleyball make NCAA Tournamet for third straight year
The Men’s Volleyball team earned an at-large bid to the NCAA DIII National Tournament, and will face defending champions California Lutheran University in the first round.
Women’s rugby win fourth cxonsecutive Beast of the East
Vassar defeated Marist 53-0 in the final of this year’s Beast of the East tournament.
Rowing sweeps Union
Both the Men’s and Women’s Varsity and Second Varsity boats defeated Union College on Saturday during a day of snowy racing in Schenectady, NY.
Image courtesy of Macey Dowd ’25.
The Miscellany Crossword
“April
Showers I”
By: Sadie Keesbury
ACROSS
1. Alternative to saying the Lord’s name in vain
5. Expel saliva
9. Ellipse
13. Husband’s mother, for example
15. Opposite of 6D 16. Sniffer
17. Super _____ bros.
18. Wings, in Latin
19. Prof. Lisa Collins is its chair at Vassar
20. Fermented soybean protein 22. Remains
24. Dept. for solar panels
26. Something to go through in the airport
30. Try very hard towards 34. Sports pass “to make your basketball experience one to remember”
35. Expel urine
36. Classic Ford car, for short 38. Sniff
39. Poker in
41. Poke around
43. Multiple Toyotas, to a pedant?
44. Tim or Steph, for two
46. Steps outside a home
48. Bear home
49. Becomes smaller, as a mountain
51. Extinguish
53. Some antique autos
55. Eleventh-largest lake in the world
56. Like a non-criminal trial
58. Hungarian city near the Serbian border
62. Goo in 16A
65. What might make a lightbulb go off?
67. Celebrity Redmayne
68. Bull in Barcelona
69. “Something _____” album by The Kinks
70. Give back weapons
71. Celeb
72. Theresa’s nickname
73. Grains for whisky
DOWN
1. The _____ of it (main premis)
2. “This one’s _____” (offer to pay)
3. _____ poetry
4. What a pod does?
5. Place for treatments
Answers to last week’s crossword:
“Baby’s First Crossword” By: Ben
Timberlake
6. Opposite of 15A
7. Oscar of “Moon Knight”
8. What powers photosynthesis
9. Where you might find the words “Forever” and “USA”
10. Yak
11. Donkey
12. Allow
14. First two words of an appropriate phrase for this month, with 25D and 42D
21. “This is some _____” (exclamation from a farmer, upset that their chicken won’t lay, maybe)
23. Recommended procedures for repairing vehicles issued by a vehicle manufacturer, for short
25. Third word of an appropriate phrase for this month, with 14D and 42D
27. Repeat ad nauseum
28. General surroundings
29. Bone break stabilizer
30. _____ out (stopped paying attention)
31. Job permanence, as for a professor
32. Exhibitions covering artists’
careers, for short
33. Horse jog
37. Lorna of cookies
40. Hosp. worker dealing with urgent matters
42. Last word of an appropriate phrase for this month, with 14D and 25D
45. Bigfoot
47. Big name in vaccines
50. Union with a hammer and sickle on its flag
52. What you might hang for a bird
54. Come up next to
57. Don’t confuse it with fewer!
59. Hello from down unda
60. Ireland to an Irishman
61. Opposite of 62. Ave. crossers, or a Vassar multidisciplinary major
63. “Am _____!” (Playground retort)
64. “_____ pro nobis” (“pray for us” in Catholic mass)
66. What brings together sundaes, aesthetics, and Caesar?
The Miscellany Crossword
“April Showers II”
By: Felix Mundy-Mancino
ACROSS
1. Large bulbous flower, often white or a soft pink
6. Linguist Chomsky
10. “___ Be”, Black Eyed Peas hit
14. Qualm
15. Canine howl
16. “You’re putting ___!”
17. Hot spa room
18. “___ mouse!”
19. Everyone, in Berlin
20. Pool antechamber
23. Often misspelled tropical flower
26. Resulted in
27. Chinese bowed instrument
28. Loneliness
32. Greasy
34. Les Etats-___
35. Adam’s better half
36. Indulgent candy bars
40. “One Piece” writer
43. Vassar’s beloved goddess Miller
44. Hoffman’s character in “Midnight Cowboy”
48. Colorado’s striking state flowers
52. Sox hall of famer Carlton
53. Spice used in ouzo
54. Like many Elizabethan collars
56. Who’s waiting, according to a 1984 Bananarama hit
60. Common Russian name
61. Cunning stratagem, often associated with women
62. Wickedly talented singer?
66. Local theater, slangily
67. Pointy purple flower
68. Duck prized for its down
69. Med school subj.
70. Nair rival
71. One-masted sailboat
DOWN
1. Circle ratios
2. “That” in Santo Domingo
3. Buckeye school
4. Michelangelo’s weapon of choice
5. Agreements
6. Move after a whip?
7. Wash. neighbor
8. Jazz bassist Tatsu
9. Pleased or displeased sound
10. Turkish inn
11. French art song
12. Deadly cocktail?
13. Flower which lends it name to Nemo’s home
21. Assistance
22. Comedian Nikki
23. Moroccan city
24. Web address
25. Greek X
29. Black-eyed ___
30. Demon in Japanese folklore
31. Last queen of England,
informally
33. Val of Batman and Top Gun fame
37. Pen tip
38. “The” in Milan
39. Early yellow spring flower
40. Egg-shaped instrument
41. Mononymous 60s psychedelic artist
42. “Arabian Nights” hero
45. Up to, colloquially
46. Dir. from Milwaukee to Chicago
47. Allow’d
49. Online newsgroup system
50. Hemingway
51. ___ generis
55. Burger accoutrement
57. Bed that comes in pairs?
58. Desperate
59. Nobelist Wiesel
63. Wedding agreement
64. Matrix protagonist
65. Dadaist Jean
