The Miscellany News
March 27, 2025
Vassar College’s student newspaper of record since 1866
Volume 163 |
No changes planned in face of Trump Dept. of Ed.
Julian Balsley Assistant News Editor
On Feb. 14, the U.S. Department of Education (DOE) Office of Civil Rights released a letter clarifying the Trump administration’s position on schools’ obligations to adhere to nondiscrimination laws if they wish to receive federal funding. Known as the “Dear Colleague” Letter (DCL), the memo singled out Diversity, Equity and Inclusion (DEI) initiatives as racially discriminatory for “smuggling” racial stereotypes and discrimination into everyday curricula. Although a footnote clarified that the DCL does not have the force of law, it “advised” educational institutions—from preschool to postsecondary—to ensure their policies complied with the government’s interpretation of federal law no later than Feb. 28, two weeks after the memo’s release.
In an email to the student body on Feb. 27, President Elizabeth Bradley addressed the DCL, writing, “Vassar has always taken seriously its obligation to abide by federal and state anti-discrimination laws and will continue to do so.” She cited the College’s mission statement from its Governance, which explicitly states that Vassar views DEI as an essential part of its college environment; she said clearly, “We should be proud of this mission to make this education accessible to all, and we remain committed to our values and our work together.” Bradley’s email came one day before the DCL’s deadline but
‘Barbecue’ delights
Vassar
crowds
Sometimes, actors are components in service of a play. Other times, a play is a vessel for the hard work of extraordinary actors. A few weekends ago, I had the pleasure of seeing a play that beautifully captured the latter. I went to The Experimental Theater of Vassar College’s production of “Barbecue,” by Robert O’Hara, at the Powerhouse Theater—a show that left me thoroughly impressed with the acting chops of the Vassar student body. Because I am a terrible journalist, I did not get a ticket in time and had to arrive early to get on the waitlist. The lobby was packed—certainly a good omen.
I could try to summarize the wild ride that is “Barbecue,” but I think the show’s guest director, Taylor Reynolds, does it best in her director’s note:
“Barbecue” is the story of four siblings who gather in their favorite park to host an openair intervention for their troubled youngest sister…through their messy dysfunction
See Barbecue on page 8
9 FEATURES Defiled peaches? Straight actors playing queer characters? Eduardo Culmer discusses “gay-for-pay” in Hollywood.
made no mention of any changes to College policy in accordance with the letter. Bradley told The Miscellany News by email, “Our efforts in diversity, inclusion, and equity—as described in our mission—are meant to keep educational opportunities open to every-
Tori Kim/The Miscellany News.
one, so we do not expect to change them.” Vassar’s Engaged Pluralism program operates similarly to a DEI office. According to the program’s website, “Engaged Pluralism is a Vassar program dedicated to bringing faculty, students, and administrators to-
gether to raise questions around inclusion and belonging.” Administrators, however, say the DCL will not affect the program’s function or purpose. Director of Engaged Pluralism and Associate Professor of Education Kimberly Williams Brown wrote in an email to The Miscellany News, “I want to underscore that there are no immediate risks to affinity spaces or Engaged Pluralism.” Echoing Bradley, Brown added, “Of course as a college, we do not engage in illegal discrimination because we highly value diversity, equity, and inclusion, in compliance with all state and federal laws.”
Some students expressed dissatisfaction with the College’s response to the Trump administration’s recent changes in higher education. Rosie Elebyjian ’27 told The Miscellany News by email, “I don’t think Vassar is doing enough. The hollow, platitude-ridden emails we constantly receive amount to nothing, especially when the administrators and the Board of Trustees have continuously disappointed marginalized students.”
According to Bradley, Vassar receives around $12 million in federal funding annually, including Pell Grants, Work Study, federal loans and research grants. If the Trump administration determines that the College is violating federal law, this money could be revoked. On March 7, the government revoked $400 million in grants and contracts from Columbia University for violating Title VI of the 1964 Civil Rights Act
See Education on page 3
Sarah Koenig delivers Alex Kreiger Lecture
“I’ma huge procrastinator. I’m trying to get better, but I think it might be too late for me,” Sarah Koenig admitted with a laugh. This confession would be difficult for an outsider to glean given Koenig’s pervasive influence on and involvement in the world of journalism—more specifically, audio-based journalism. In the fall of 2014, a podcast called “Serial,” which was co-created and co-produced by Koenig and fellow
journalist Julie Snyder, echoed through millions of wired earbuds and dominated countless Reddit threads. The first season, which was also the first podcast to win a Peabody Award, investigated the 1999 murder of high school student Hae Min Lee and its potential suspects, including Adnan Syed, who, at the time of the podcast’s creation, was in prison for the crime. Something about the story, which Koenig describes as a “Shakespearean mashup” of forbidden lovers and honor besmirched, clicked with listeners.
Since then, Koenig has produced three more seasons of the podcast, dedicated listeners in tow. “It’s weird. [The podcast’s success] hasn’t changed the way I work that much. I wasn’t on social media then, and I’m not on social media now,” Koenig explained in an interview with The Miscellany News. “Like, I just don’t look at it.” Other journalists in Koenig’s position might not approach the podcast’s immediate, intense traction with such nonchalance. But Koenig worries less about recreating the magic
See Koenig on page 3
Jen Manion presents lecture on gender
Erin Thatcher Columnist
In their lecture on March 6, Jen Manion, an acclaimed author and the Winkley Professor of History and Political Economy at Amherst College, wasted no time in cutting to the heart of current LGBTQ+ concerns. Earnestly looking out at the crowd of students filling the seats in Room 203 of Taylor Hall, the historian admitted that they did not have all the answers—but they, like the rest of us, have been reckoning with some big questions. In dissecting the present-day evolution of queer
11 HUMOR Inside this issue
issues, the professor centered the discussion around two inquiries: Where are we now? What does history have to offer us?
The obsessive critique of queer people at the state and federal level notably follows a period of potent radical change. “These ad-
See Manion on page 8
Manion anchored us in January of 2025, citing Donald Trump’s passage of an executive order entitled “Defending women from gender ideology extremism and restoring biological truth to the federal government.” The executive order demands recognition of only two sexes, male and female, and calls to eradicate what is referred to as gender ideology: “‘Gender ideology’ replaces the biological category of sex with an ever-shifting concept of self-assessed gender identity, permitting the false claim that males can identify as and thus become women and vice versa.” Our current moment is underscored by developments since 2020, when a slow yet intense increase began in the introduction and passage of anti-LGBTQ+ bills. While there is some comfort in the fact that only a few of these bills have taken effect, Manion highlights that a disconcerting proportion of them have been targeted at transgender people.
Josie Wenner details the pain of having her March Madness bracket get absolutely busted.
SPORTS
The Sports section teams up to preview the Kentucky Derby.
Aurelia Harrison Guest Columnist
Carina Cole Senior Editor
THE MISCELLANY NEWS
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
MANAGING EDITOR
SENIOR EDITORS
CONTRIBUTING EDITORS
NEWS EDITORS
ASSISTANT NEWS EDITOR ARTS EDITOR
ASSISTANT ARTS EDITORS
FEATURES EDITORS
OPINIONS EDITOR HUMOR EDITORS
ASSISTANT HUMOR EDITORS
SPORTS EDITOR
ASSISTANT SPORTS EDITOR DESIGN EDITORS
ASSISTANT DESIGN EDITORS
COPY EDITOR
ASSISTANT COPY EDITORS
GRAPHICS EDITOR
ASSISTANT GRAPHICS EDITORS
GAMES EDITORS
SOCIAL MEDIA MANAGERS
LIVE EVENTS CHAIR
WEBMASTER REPORTERS/COLUMNISTS
CARTOONIST COPY STAFF
Tori Kim/The Miscellany News.
Sarah Koenig on crafting stories, finding light amid tragedy
Continued from Koenig on page 1 of that initial sonic-boom of listenership in 2014 and more about continually presenting engaging, thoughtful stories. Given her aptitude for storytelling, Koenig spoke at the 2025 Alex Krieger ’95 Memorial Lecture on Feb. 27 in conversation with Adjunct Professor of Multidisciplinary Studies and Director of Women, Feminist, and Queer Studies on the Pittsburgh Chair in the Humanities Professor Paulina Bren. Each year, the lecture honors Kreiger’s legacy and his love for American writing, specifically that which incorporates humor.
Koenig is unassuming, down-to-earth and warm in a way you might not expect from an acclaimed journalist. She has a wide, bright smile that puts you at ease, and does not hesitate to make direct eye contact. She wears mustard yellow socks with silver Adidas, which I complimented her on. Koenig later explained she found the shoes on the side of the street in Boston. In the first few seconds of meeting me, Koenig asked if she was pronouncing my name correctly; this is the same question, or perhaps act of care, she immediately asked Rabia Chaudry—the woman who initially made Koenig aware of Adnan Syed and his potentially mishandled case—in the first episode of “Serial,” entitled “The Alibi.”
Like finding her silver Adidas, in some ways Koenig unintentionally stumbled upon the true crime podcasting genre. Prior to the creation of “Serial,” Koenig was a producer at the public radio program and podcast “This American Life.” After working in print journalism for years, Koenig shared that she was struck by the “different kind of fun” audio-based journalism provides. “A whole ocean of structural possibilities opened up to me,” Koenig recalled.
Although she was familiar with audio as a medium and its storytelling possibilities, Koenig was unfamiliar with the ins and outs of true crime—the genre now used to categorize each season of “Serial”—when she began researching Syed’s case. “It was only
until ‘Serial’ was done that I was like, wait, what’s true crime?” Koenig exclaimed with a laugh to Bren during their conversation. “It’s like when you’re learning a new word or searching for a new pair of shoes, and suddenly you see them everywhere. I don’t know if that was because of us or I was just dialed in.” Now, when navigating to the Wikipedia page for the term “true crime,” a picture of Koenig and her signature oversized glasses accompanies the podcast subsection.
Although true crime as a genre is undoubtedly having a moment—or has been having a moment since Hae Min Lee’s story first caught our collective attention more than a decade ago—Koenig is not sure if its popularity is because of the current, fearful moment we are living in. When Bren suggested this, Koenig cocked her head and politely replied that she disagreed. Koenig’s ability to concretely yet sincerely express her differing opinions makes her so approachable—by affirming or objecting to others’ postulations, Koenig shows she is truly, deeply considering each word. After a pause, Koenig continued: “Trials are so inherently dramatic. I think we are interested [in true crime] because we are looking for a good story.”
Koenig’s commitment to hunting down these good stories for each season of “Serial” has transported her from the open courtrooms of Cleveland, Ohio to the inaccessible Guantánamo Bay. The places she works in vary greatly; her journalistic process is similarly in flux: “season three, for example, we spent a little more than a year reporting from a courthouse in Cleveland. And we were doing a bunch of stories that were threaded through that building, and the reporting of that was very intensely scene heavy. That process of reporting was super different from the Guantánamo one I just did. Or, season two where it was about Beau Bergdahl, and that was all based on tape we already had, and almost all of the reporting was done remotely. The reporting
is so different based on the story.” It might be tempting to settle into a comfortable routine after having found such success, but Koenig seems to actively resist sameness and comfort alike.
This resistance does not mean, however, that Koenig over-indulges in the inherent drama of tragedy. In fact, doing so would be antithetical to her goal of presenting a good story. “When we do stories that involve horrible violence, I don’t do any further details than I have to share to understand the story,” Koenig explained to Bren as they discussed the ethics of true crime. Koenig’s full attention was locked on Bren; her dark slacks contrasted with the bright yellow upholstery of the chair she sat on. She looked serious, but sincere. Professional yet empathetic. Koenig is willing to do what many people today are not: listen.
Perhaps this ability, this consistent self-restraint is what allows her to so effectively get to the meat of the story. Koenig observes that in the whole life cycle of the criminal justice system, conversations with reporters are among the first moments the accused are able to speak: “The system is not set up for [the accused] to talk. So, sometimes when they speak to a reporter, it’s the first time you can connect with someone.”
These people and their experiences can provide a sense of humanity and reality amid the mechanical proceedings of the courtroom; they can also connect journalists to a web of other friends and family willing to share their stories. “There’s always someone in the story who holds the heart of the story. And we’re always trying to find the moments that carry the story, and sometimes those moments can be very small,” Koenig emphasized. Sometimes these moments are tiny puzzles and little epiphanies about the case, details that make the listener think.
Other times, these small details are more slippery, vague and unsuspectingly uplifting. Strange moments of lightness that might initially appear out of place, but
somehow perfectly fit in the story Koenig is crafting. “You have to understand the tone of the thing you’re doing. But it doesn’t mean just because something is really sad that you can’t have moments of joy in it, both as a reporter and person,” Koenig noted. “Often the people I’m interviewing are the ones who are cracking jokes or laughing, often about the most horrible things. I just think [finding moments of joy] is a very human thing to do, and to seek. And so I guess I don’t shy away from it. It’s not that I’m actively going for those moments, but if they come up I let them be.”
Sarah Koenig regularly finds herself in the midst of incomprehensible tragedy. She finds herself among real people who have endured immense loss and hurt—those who have been accused or tortured, but also their relatives, friends and partners. This weighs on her: “And not that this stuff doesn’t sometimes get to me, actually, because sometimes it is really sad or upsetting. But I’m not there to channel someone else’s pain. I’m there to help that story come alive, so I am going to do that however it makes sense to me. But I mean I also will just say, I like to have a good time. And so, I am not going to pass up a moment of joy if I can find it in the horrible hell that we live in. It just feels like, why would you do that?” Koenig honors these people’s pain. She honors their humanity, too.
Trump administration disrupts higher education
Continued from Education on page 1
by failing to adequately respond to harassment of Jewish students. The civil rights group Foundation for Individual Rights and Expression asserted that the government’s demands on Columbia will suppress campus speech. Days later, the DOE announced investigations into 60 U.S. colleges for Title VI violations due to failure to protect Jewish students. Included are Vassar peer institutions Middlebury, Sarah Lawrence, Swarthmore and Wellesley Colleges. Vassar is not included.
Although the DCL makes no explicit mention of affinity spaces being unconstitutional, its assertion that federal law prohibits the use of race in decision-making in all areas of campus life could apply to them. Like Williams Brown, however, Bradley emphasized affinity spaces are not in immediate danger: “We do not see that Vassar’s affinity spaces will be affected by the letter. Our affinity spaces [are] non exclusionary and will continue in that way.” Vassar’s Statement on Affinity Spaces notes, “Affinity spaces are intended to center the experiences and concerns of particular groups, but cannot be exclusionary.”
According to a footnote in the statement, this means that everyone must have equal access to such spaces regardless of race, national origin, gender or any other protected class. A follow-up memo to the DCL clari-
fied: “Schools with programs focused on interests in particular cultures, heritages, and areas of the world would not in and of themselves violate Title VI, assuming they are open to all students regardless of race… However, schools must consider whether any school programming discourages members of all races from attending.”
Nevertheless, some students worry that the Trump administration’s focus on dismantling DEI in education will adversely affect campus. Student Facilitator of Engaged Pluralism, Em Friedman ’27, told The Miscellany News in a written correspondence, “Inclusive pedagogies have been politicized by President Donald Trump and the far-right, framed as ‘woke,’ ‘radical,’ and antithetical to America. So of course, I worry that the administration’s attack on DEI will affect so much of our day-to-day at Vassar.”
Elebyjian expressed similar concerns, “Seeing the Trump administration’s crimes against student activists, like Mahmoud Khalil, is completely heartbreaking. With the targeting of marginalized activists and the hateful rhetoric we saw in the Department of Education’s ‘Dear Colleague letter,’ it is clear that affinity spaces are in a precarious position… I worry that in the coming years, there will be even fewer marginalized voices on college campuses, and our limited spaces for organizing will be shot down.”
According to the Associated Press, Khalil,
a green card–holding Palestinian former graduate student at Columbia, was arrested on March 8 by Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) as part of a Trump administration crackdown on participants in college protests against Israel’s genocide on Gaza.
On March 21, in another email to students about the DOE, Bradley wrote about ICE’s increased focus on students who have protested the genocide: “We are guided by our Statement on Academic Responsibility and Respect for Persons, and we strongly endorse free speech—including peaceful protest—recognizing that it may not be used to incite violence, undertake discriminatory harassment, or disrupt educational opportunities of others.” Elebyjian expressed that the College is not sufficiently protecting minority students and those who have participated in protests: “The college has flagrantly failed to meet any of the promises they made after the end of the encampment last year. Those agreements meant a lot to many students, particularly for a lot of us Middle-Eastern students, since those promises felt connected to how Vassar views us and treats our identities.”
The DCL has also been more formally challenged. On Feb. 25, the American Federation of Teachers (AFT), AFT-Maryland and American Sociological Association filed a lawsuit challenging the DCL. The
lawsuit argues, “This Letter is an unlawful attempt by the Department to impose this administration’s particular views of how schools should operate as if it were the law… If this Letter is implemented, it will immediately and irreparably harm schools, educators, students, and communities around the country at all levels.” The lawsuit asks for an injunction prohibiting implementation of the DCL.
The DCL appears to be only the beginning of Trump’s vision for American education. The DOE has already laid off half of its employees—some 1,300 staff. On March 20, Trump signed an executive order instructing the Secretary of Education Linda McMahon to dismantle the DOE as completely as possible, returning education-related authority to the states. The order also reiterated that no federal assistance would go to DEI or similar programs. The department, however, will not shutter completely under the order: It will continue providing low-income assistance, money for children with disabilities, Pell Grants and student loans. Opponents of the order have already said that it will be challenged. Because the DOE was created by a congressional act in 1979, the agency can only be dismantled with congressional approval. It remains to be seen how courts will rule on the Trump administration’s drastic changes to higher education.
Carina Cole/The Miscellany News.
Is ‘Paddington in Peru’ pawsitively
Annie McShane Assistant Graphics Editor
Rotten Tomatoes is one of the most formidable movie review sites today, using their “tomatometer” to rate movies on a scale from one to one hundred and deeming them “fresh” or “rotten.” Their top 100 list is filled with indisputable treasures—“The Godfather,” “Schindler’s List” and “Good Will Hunting,” to name a few. One movie that is rated higher than all of these classics, scoring 99 percent and earning the title of “certified fresh,” is “Paddington 2,” which has only ever received one bad review on the site. If you ask me, the 2017 sequel to “Paddington” is a perfect movie, filled with elements of mystery and themes surrounding justice and prison reform, while still providing moments of fun and laughter that make it an enjoyable watch for people of all ages. It is not often that a sequel greatly surpasses its predecessor, but “Paddington 2” does so effortlessly.
When it was announced in February 2021 that there would be a third installment to the series, I was skeptical of how it could possibly live up to the undeniable greatness that is “Paddington 2.” The only way to truly find out if this new movie measured up to the legacy of what came before it was to see for myself. So, I am here to let you know if “Paddington in Peru” is “certified fresh” or not worth the watch.
Going into the movie, I was aware of two major differences from the prior films, the first being a directorial difference. Paul King was the writer and director behind the first two Paddington movies, but the third was instead directed by Dougal Wilson. Although I suffered from initial panic at the thought of such a large change, I was certain that the fate of London’s favorite bear had been placed in the hands of someone capable. However, upon completing extensive research (looking at his Wikipedia page), I discovered that this would be Wil-
son’s feature film directorial debut. Needless to say, my stress levels were heightened about the fate of this movie.
The second major change from the first two masterpieces to the newest installment is the portrayal of one of the most important characters: Mary Brown. As the matriarch of the Brown family and initial rescuer of Paddington, she plays an integral role in the series. Sally Hawkins, the actress who portrayed Brown in the first two movies, is
perfect or bearly worth it?
and red hair ribbon, threw an orange from Gordon Commons in my bag, and drove down to the Regal Cinema at the Poughkeepsie Galleria.
The movie starts off the same way any great Paddington movie does: with the aforementioned bear writing to his aunt, Lucy, back in Peru about the happenings of the Brown family. He details his experience becoming a new citizen of England, explaining how he feels a bit out of place
responsible for creating a large portion of the whimsy present in this movie, making Brown a fan favorite character (and my personal favorite). For the third movie, however, Hawkins has passed the baton to actress Emily Mortimer.
Understandably, these revelations altered my expectations for this movie significantly. Nevertheless, I knew I still needed to give “Paddington in Peru” a fair chance to prove itself. So, I donned my finest blue sweater
being someone who has two homes now. I loved this striking and emotional choice for the genesis of the movie, and I was excited to see how this theme played out, but it felt like it was instantly side-swept by the overarching plot of the treasure hunt that Paddington and the Browns embark on to find El Dorado—the lost city of gold—and save Aunt Lucy, who has gone missing.
Throughout the majority of the movie, I felt certain that my fears had been correct
and that “Paddington in Peru” would in no way surpass “Paddington 2.” The movie followed a very generic treasure hunt plot that I have seen a lot recently in movies like “The Lost City,” “Uncharted” and “Jungle Cruise.” The jungle setting was traditional for this type of movie, and the villains were easily predictable. Now, this is not to say that I did not enjoy watching the bear and his family fight against the forces of greed and evil to save Aunt Lucy, but the majority of the movie just felt unremarkable.
Everything changed, however, in the last half hour or so. What I had assumed was a conventional treasure hunt story held a much deeper meaning than I assumed, referring back to the original theme of belonging. By the end of the movie, Paddington, the Browns and even the villains realized what true treasure is: the people you love. I do not want to spoil too much about what happens, but I will say that Paddington once again reminds viewers of the importance of family. You might be thinking that sounds awfully cliché, and maybe it hit me so hard because I am a homesick freshman, but the waterworks really started flowing. And to end it all off perfectly, the final montage—shown through another one of Paddington’s letters updating Aunt Lucy, of course—had nostalgic ties back to the previous movies, providing a perfect conclusion to what I assume is the final film in the series.
All in all, “Paddington in Peru,” while not able to reach “Paddington 2” status (and let us be honest, few movies can), is still an enjoyable watch that had me laughing and crying, reminding me of the importance of prioritizing the people you love. In the wise words of Mr. Brown, “You should take the risk if it is for the greater good, and especially if it’s for the people you love.” So although the movie might not be as “certified fresh” as its predecessor, I still 100 percent recommend that you take the risk and go see “Paddington in Peru.”
Annie McShane/The Miscellany News.
Tori Kim/The Miscellany News.
Chappell Roan: The rise of a midwest princess
Brendan Kennedy Columnist
Coachella 2024, the widely popular music festival held in California each April, was an event filled with big names. Headliners included Lana Del Rey, Doja Cat, Tyler, the Creator and a No Doubt reunion performance, where Olivia Rodrigo did a guest duet with Gwen Stefani. It is no shock that last year’s festival was extremely popular online, mainly filled with videos of Lana Del Rey’s motorcycle entrance and Billie Eilish’s guest performance during Del Rey’s set. Yet surprisingly, the most viral moment of the festival came from a less established artist than those previously named: Chappell Roan.
Prior to Coachella, Roan released her debut album, “The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess,” in September 2023. Notably, this album did not crack the Billboard 200 anytime near its release and produced 7,000 album units upon debut. After its release, Roan opened on tour for Olivia Rodrigo from February to April 2024, which started to produce momentum around Roan as an artist and raised her streams. On April 5, 2024, Roan released her first song since her debut album, titled “Good Luck, Babe!”
This powerful, anthemic pop song explores themes of compulsory heterosexuality and being in love with a woman who denies her feelings and identity.
The next weekend came her Coachella performance, in which she looked directly into the camera and shouted her famous monologue: “My name is Chappell Roan. I’m your favorite artist’s favorite artist. I’m your dream girl’s dream girl. And I’m going to serve exactly what you are: cunt!” This
monologue went viral online, alongside clips of her songs and performances on stage. The general public began to deeply care about Roan, primarily due to her mastery of the live performance. On stage, Roan takes on a pop-star persona. She is not afraid to call audiences out or discuss how she is feeling. Most of all, Roan’s excitement to be on stage always comes across; she is noticeably having a blast performing the art she created.
After Coachella, Roan’s streams drastically increased, and her debut album finally appeared on Billboard’s list. In mere months, Roan’s weekly streams increased 20 times over upon the release of her album. She continued to appear at festivals, and videos of her performances flooded the internet. Her set at Lollapalooza, originally scheduled for a smaller stage, had an audience of 110,000— the largest crowd ever for the festival. “Good Luck, Babe!” became her highest charting song on Billboard Hot 100, peaking at number four. Six songs from her debut album also entered the chart; fans were so compelled by Roan that her entire discography quickly became popular. Her song, “Pink Pony Club,” which she performed at the Grammys in February 2025, reached number seven, while her other song, “Hot To Go!,” peaked at number 15. At the 2025 Grammys, she took home the award for Best New Artist, cementing her as the newest industry superstar.
On Nov. 3, 2024, Roan took the stage at Saturday Night Live for the first time in her career, where she performed her smash pop song, “Pink Pony Club.” Here, she was seen in her usual campy, drag-inspired aesthetic, marked by her bold style and bratty mannerisms. Later in the show, she came out to perform again, but things were noticeably
different. After Roan was presented by John Mulaney, a fiddler took the screen to begin the second song. Instantly, the sound of country filled the stage as Roan jumped around in a pink plaid, southern influenced look. This was a complete shock, as Roan had never performed country music prior to this, a clear diversion from her regular, in-your-face pop sound.
This lesbian country anthem (released March 8, 2025), “The Giver,” takes the title literally, as its lyrics celebrate a woman’s ability to “please.” The song is masterful in its playful and confident southern sound contrasted by non-typical country tropes, including its candid lyrics about lesbian intimacy. “The Giver” follows a trend within the industry in recent years where pop acts dive into the country, such as Beyoncé with “Texas Hold ‘Em.” In a recent interview, Roan discussed her love for country dating back to her childhood in Missouri. “I think I have a special relationship to where I’m from because of country music…
Yes I’m gay, and yes I’m ultra pop, and yes I’m a drag queen—that can also be someone who performs a country song,” she confidently explained.
Chappell Roan is only getting started, and while her second album is not expected this year, she is sure to release more singles to build anticipation. Roan is having fun, and she is going to continue to do whatever she wants. While her debut album is an audience-proclaimed pop bible, she is set to dive into other genres following the release of “The Giver.” As Coachella approaches, it is magnificent to see how much success Roan has achieved in just a year. Her presence as a queer artist—who also performs in drag—is extremely important in the present day, and her place as a voice for the LGBTQ+ community does not go unnoticed. I am endlessly excited to see where Roan takes her career, and am continuously anticipating her next album. This midwest princess is on the rise following her first country song, and luckily Roan’s fall is nowhere in sight.
Living after the apocalypse with ‘Station 11’
Paige Hahn Copy Staff
As we pass the five-year anniversary of the COVID-19 lockdown, Emily St. John Mandel’s dystopian novel, “Station 11,” is as beautiful and relevant as ever. The book, which made it to The New York Times “100 Best Books of the 21st Century” list, flashes forward and backward in time, telling the intertwining stories of a fascinating cast of characters before and after an apocalyptic pandemic sweeps the earth.
For those of you who think they have heard too much about contagious diseases in the past half-decade, you are wrong. This book is unlike any other dystopian novel I have read; it is a story about the end of the world, and yet it is about Shakespeare, a performance troupe, a cult, an unpublished graphic novel and a museum in a defunct airport. How can all of these things come together across two timelines and dozens of characters into a successful story? I have no idea, but Mandel accomplishes it effortlessly and eloquently in her shockingly short book. Honestly, there was not much I did not like about this book. Some literary criticism, however, takes issue with Mandel’s portrayal of disaster and its aftermath. According to a New York Times review, although Mandel imagines the worst epidemic scenario possible, the descriptions of the characters’ psychological responses and their corresponding behaviors are not representative of the extreme trauma that this level of apocalyptic change would warrant. To me, this can be explained by the fact that Mandel is not primarily a dystopian writer. And while the book could be read as under-emotional, in some way that
confers more meaning in ordinary details by centering feelings of nostalgia, grief and hope around everyday objects and occurrences. This could be a positive or negative quality, depending on who is reading.
I listened to this story as an audiobook and finished it in one day—it was that good! The book opens at a seemingly ordinary performance of King Lear, when the lead actor, Arthur, suddenly dies of a heart attack on stage. The next day, the world ends. This opening circumstance is not actually connected to the pandemic, but it serves as a kind of starting point. It is the moment when the various storylines of this book are all connected in some way. Although Arthur does not actually live to experience the apocalypse, he is the common link between the many tales being told in this novel. This method of storytelling, where characters’ lives converge and then spiral out again struck me as unique and attention-grabbing. The nonlinear structure Mandel employs allows this to unfold beautifully.
The structure of this story, however, was not my favorite part of this literary experience. What I liked most, and what will stay with me long after finishing it, is the heartwarming humanity that emanates from every word Mandel writes. Despite Mandel’s avoidance of grand representations of emotionality, pinpointing sentiment to short, concise turns of phrase and ideas creates a nuanced presentation of the human condition. For an end-of-the-world book, “Station 11” focuses on the simple details of everyday life to an unusual extent. A “Star Trek” quote one of the protagonists has tattooed on her arm seems to exemplify the main message of the book. It simply reads, “survival is insufficient.” At its core, this story is about the
human ability and need to find joy and artistic interest in even the most bleak of circumstances. The various tales of this world illuminate the ways in which people ensure that even after civilization collapses, humanity will live on.
This takes two major forms. The first is a group of actors and musicians named the Traveling Symphony who move from place to place, using their nomadic lifestyle to bring performances of Shakespeare and other theatre pieces to those who remain. The Symphony notes that although they sometimes perform more modern plays, Shakespeare performances were, shockingly, the most popular. It seems the timeless nature of the playwright allowed for his works to be understood in a vastly different world from the one that you and I experience. It is also noted that Shakespeare lived through a plague and that the idea of plague itself shaped his works; perhaps, in an unprecedented present, reaching back to a familiar past is uniquely comforting. Either way, this storyline conveys the message that people need art to keep going, something I definitely connected with as an avid reader and theatre-goer. Most people can identify a time in their life when art was helpful to them emotionally, and this source of hope is what Mandel’s novel is describing the importance of.
Another instance of human perseverance in “Station 11” is when those living in an airport in the end-times create the “Museum of Civilization,” where they gather objects from their old lives that no longer have practical significance. In this way, the ordinary markers of life today have persisted in this world where nothing is the same. Some living in this post-apocalyptic world travel long dis-
tances to reach the airport. Even if they only hear about it through rumors, it is known as a place of sanctuary. This association between peace and reminiscence about the “old world” made me think differently about the daily objects I consider “normal” or do not even consider at all. The things we skim over, ignoring for their ordinariness, are what make us human.
This novel has received critical acclaim and was even turned into a limited television series . The story in the series, however, is very different from the book, as adaptations often are. It pushed some of the various storylines together by changing which characters spent the days of the apocalypse together as well as revealing some information earlier on. To me, this took away some of the magic of the novel, where entirely separate lives could weave together tangentially—a structure reminiscent of reality. There was, however, something pleasing about seeing characters you love not only come to life on the screen, but interact deeply with one another. So, while the show does not contain the same delicate elegance of the novel, it was interesting to watch.
Reading this novel today, in the post-lockdown world, I obviously received it differently than a reader when the book was first released, in 2014. It seems like a haunting prophecy of the future from my perspective, but in an interview, Mandel challenges this idea, saying, “When you research the history of pandemics, as I did for ‘Station Eleven,’ what becomes really clear is that there will always be another pandemic.” This reality is part of what makes this book timeless. It acknowledges the eternal possibility of disaster while also maintaining that humanity is synonymous with hope.
Image courtesy of Jason Martin via Wikimedia Commons.
Sifting through Playboi Carti’s ‘MUSIC’
Allen Hale Editor-in-Chief
[CW: This article makes mention of domestic abuse.]
After years of anticipation, false promises and leaks, Playboi Carti dropped “MUSIC” on March 14, 2025. Despite a star-studded cast and intense preparation time, the album’s 30-song tracklist is all over the place, containing a variety of memorable peaks, veritable lows and bland filler.
Prior to “MUSIC,” Carti’s recordings and persona have been era-defining facets of 21st century hip-hop, a backdrop essential to unpacking his newest record. Carti’s debut album “Die Lit” followed the stylistic success of his 2017 self-titled mixtape, culminating in a sound that was equal parts ethereal and energetic. The initially divisive follow-up LP “Whole Lotta Red” has retrospectively been admired as a watershed moment, influencing a variety of underground acts that have since enjoyed mainstream success. Rappers like Destroy Lonely and Ken Carson, for instance, joined Opium, a label and rap collective created by Carti.
“Whole Lotta Red” was nothing short of declaratively ambitious and eclectic, despite my unwavering preference for its predecessors. The vampiric, gothic visual stylings and musical content firmly cemented the artistic iconography of Carti’s past half-decade. Hordes of Zoomer fans turned him into an emblem of teenage culture and 20-somethings’ arrested development. Rage, a subgenre that first received widespread attention through this LP, has since become one of the most recognizable rap sounds of the 2020s. Deliriously rapping about drugs and sex over repetitive, bass-heavy beats, Carti was exactly what he claimed to be invoking for years: a rockstar. “Opium,” in reference to the label, became shorthand for the subculture he seemingly inaugurated overnight. The “King Vamp” had rightfully crowned himself. Even if mimicking a rocker’s ethos comes across as outmoded in some respects, Carti’s popular presence and musical legacy felt
uniquely definitive. He was ostensibly doing something that mattered between 2017 and 2020, in spite of—or owing to—its overt crassness. I, for one, was hooked.
The consistency of “MUSIC” approaches “Whole Lotta Red,” but ultimately falls short of the latter’s bar. Otherwise, the album is less noteworthy in its vision, veering into uncharacteristically uninspired territory even when Carti tries on styles newer to himself. Mostly solid, but infrequently special.
The lingering disappointment perhaps owes to the opening track being the record’s most fascinating work. “POP OUT” is driven by a punctuated beat and mechanistic, grinding synths that drill through one’s headphones. The melodicism of past Carti songs holds on by a thread, but is mostly washed away in a flood of intensely discordant, enveloping sound. As with his best previous work, a memorably simplistic hook drives the track’s unyielding momentum. “CRUSH” follows through with a choral backing that is welcomed but unusually bombastic for Carti; unfortunately though, the initial adrenaline rush of “POP OUT” is never quite matched.
“COCAINE NOSE” gets close to this peak with its heavy, guitar sample-based instrumental, even if it is not as fresh in approach, resembling other tracks coming from Opium. Carti is often at his best when he revisits his past staples. For instance, “OPM BABI” fittingly rehashes the “baby voice” above skittering percussion, Swamp Izzo’s ever-present DJ tag and a buried vocal loop. The 808s overwhelm the restless combination in an enticing fashion, offering the overboard fun associated with some of Carti’s best work. Still, while newness is somewhat present, it never quite feels comprehensive.
Elsewhere, prominent inspiration shines through. Carti consistently channels the disaffected, casually-cool vocal style of fellow Atlanta native Future, especially pronounced on “KPOP,” “EVIL J0RDAN” and “DIS 1 GOT IT,” three solid tracks which are all enjoyably moody. Future himself features on “TRIM” and “CHARGE DEM HOES A FEE,” the first being notably improved by his appearance. “CHARGE DEM HOES A FEE” takes a mo-
ment to heat up, eventually reaching its main chorus backed by futuristic, laser gun-esque synth runs and blown-out low end; the track also features Travis Scott.
While Scott’s appearance on the previous track is worthwhile, he actively drags “PHILLY” into generic territory, a problem repeated on “WAKE UP F1LTHY.” Other collaborations register as haphazard, clunky inclusions done for the sake of doing so. Famed producer Metro Boomin lays down one of the album’s worst instrumentals with “RADAR,” a song led by weak MIDI horns and a limp, unimaginative progression. In a similar vein, “TOXIC” features Skepta fumbling through an aggravatingly monotonous backing.
Kendrick Lamar is among the most surprising guests on “MUSIC.” Although I enjoy the ad libs of “MOJO JOJO” and his verse above the richly dark chords of “GOOD CREDIT,” “BACKD00R” is Lamar’s crowning moment. A sultry, melodic verse from Carti leads nicely into a dual-vocal harmony between Lamar and Jhené Aiko, soaring over a sped-up, layered singing sample.
Coming off months of bashing Drake for his supposedly immoral behavior, however, Lamar’s collaboration feels particularly baffling. Carti is among the most notorious deadbeats in hip hop today, accused of missing his son’s birth for a gaming session. In 2017, he was arrested for domestic battery; in 2022, he was arrested on a felony assault charge for allegedly choking his pregnant girlfriend. The violent, reckless action he has been repeatedly accused of should make him a target worthy of the anger similarly hurled at Drake, especially since Carti fronts a legion of impressionable, young male supporters. Instead, Lamar uncritically lends himself to three tracks; the hypocrisy is now a topic of frequent discussion online.
I do not have the room to properly delve into debates surrounding the separation of art from artist. In my estimation, Carti’s casual fans are more excused for the minuscule monetary contributions of their streaming habits than someone like Lamar, who actively participated in the constructive process of “MUSIC.” With Travis Scott in tow after
10 died from a crowd crush at his 2021 Astroworld Festival, and labelmates Ken Carson and Destroy Lonely accused of abuse resembling Carti’s arrests, Opium’s punkish posturing uncomfortably blends into their slew of related allegations. Appreciating Lamar’s contributions with this contrast in mind becomes restrictively difficult. While Lamar has also proclaimed “The cat is out the bag, I am not your savior” on “Mr. Morale and the Big Steppers,” the line reads mostly like a poor, anticipatory excuse for facing any personal or creative culpability.
Unrelated to any of its controversies, “MUSIC” is often forgettable. A slew of average songs could have been left to a deluxe edition before seeing the light of day, including “FINE SHIT,” “CRANK,” “HBA” and “SOUTH ATLANTA BABY.” Considering three-fourths of these come ten songs into the tracklist, the front-to-back listening experience grows significantly impaired and belabored. Tracklisting issues extend to song placement as well; “WE NEED ALL THE VIBES” is random in both sequencing and style, culminating as a confused, boring inclusion. The choice of piano on “OVERLY” is also bad enough to earn a mention. If these are Carti’s attempts at horizon-expansion, his future is dull.
While “RATHER LIE” incorporates The Weeknd—someone I often avoid—in a surprisingly cohesive manner, and “I SEEEEEE YOU BABY BOI” races through a delightfully speedy, futuristic soundscape, these addictive gems are not enough to justify the album’s lengthiness. The repeatable, upbeat “MUNYUN” or “OLYMPIAN” with its compressed, dreamy synths should have been among commendable but second-tier work on 15 track release; instead, they shine bright among the duds.
I can still get behind parts of “MUSIC.” But, within the context of Carti’s career and the release’s buildup, I am left feeling dissatisfied with overarching decisions plaguing the LP. Its failures are worth discussing more so than its successes. While “MUSIC” contains promising signs, another long wait for new material could result in a drawn-out project running on fading rockstar fumes.
Art history’s changing purpose
Sayan Naik Guest Columnist
Does Mona Lisa smile? Scholars have debated this question for years, analyzing everything from the artwork to the historical context of Renaissance Italy. As tourists crowd around the painting in the Louvre, they may not give it much thought, but in art history, the idea of a smirk is everything.
The 2004 movie “Mona Lisa Smile” takes its title from this famous phrase to set the stage for its feminist theme. In a fictionalized version of Wellesley College, the country’s leading women attend the school not to become the radical scholars we recognize today, but frivolous wives to men from Harvard and Yale. This norm is challenged when Katherine Ann Watts, a history professor from California, aims to shape the young conservative minds of New England’s brightest women.
To convey this message, the movie uses art history as its medium. When the first lecture on prehistoric works prompts the ladies into mere memorization, Professor Watts is shocked by their lack of free thinking. But should she be? Within the movie, the art history lecture is a metaphor for the women being told what to think and having to follow conservative societal rules. But turning away from the metaphorical towards the literal, is not that what art history is—memorization and regurgitation?
After taking some classes in art history I recognized a similarity between the lecture format in the film and actual classes. But why?
“I feel like a lot of the ways that classes are structured are trying to appease, like a canon,” Art History student Carissa Kolcun ’25 says. The “canon,” as Kolcun called it, is the required set of artworks that students must know to be successful within the field. Since art is everywhere, it is impossible to study every single work, so academics and professionals boil down art into the most important and impactful works that need to be studied to properly understand art. Works from Caravaggio, Rembrandt, Monet and many others have formed the basic structure of the canon, starting from prehistory and antiquity and ending with contemporary art.
Although it might seem like every discipline has a “canon,” art history operates a bit differently. Unlike other fields where a student learns the basic ideas of the subject or reads dated novels or works, most disciplines advance to applications, complex theories or critical thinking like English or philosophy. But art history as a discipline is rooted in the canon, and its goal is to memorize it. The canon goes beyond just the introductory courses, permeating across various levels to focus on periods in more depth, like on Impressionist artists or Baroque art.
The reason the canon can be detrimental, though, is because it needs to be taught a certain way: a lecture-heavy, memorization-based structure. The lecture method facilitates the basic understanding of the materials, terms, and rudimentary knowledge of art analysis to provide a foundation for understanding what “art” is and how to train students to look at art in the academic way. After a while though, this learning structure can be quite intellectually numbing. Instead of having discussions about the art work or analyzing it within groups, it is being fed to the student to absorb with no room to truly contemplate the merit of the work. To be successful in any aspect of the art world, a student must know the canon— it is a requirement in every part of academia, but also curatorial and museum practices as well. Art institutions and foundations reside
in the canon and thereby needed a pedagogical tool like lectures and memorization to retain this information to recite it on demand.
Adjunct Assistant Professor of Art and Americanist Serena Qiu believes the canon is “on the one hand, what gives art history a legitimacy and on the other hand, I think what really feels limiting, more and more as folks want to hear more than one meta narrative or one grand narrative of how art came to be meaningful for human.” Looking at the way art history is studied and approached, it is easy to see the Western biases that come with the discipline—where art from Europe or America is put on a pedestal compared to art from non-Western countries, which are
on within art history, its merit prevails in different ways. Kolcun says “art history, I feel like, is a way of learning history where you can’t hide anything…but learning about how to look at art, I think, is a completely different question.” With the linear progression of art history, beginning with the genesis of human consciousness and its expression in art to the current era of art as a multimedia movement, art history functions more like a historiography, which studies the evolution of human civilization, rather than a discipline about art itself. Although scholars are trained in the way art reflects history, learning about the historical impact of mediums and brushwork, most of the emphasis, es-
deemed primitive or unsophisticated. With the invention of art history beginning in the West, it makes sense that the view of art is based on the ideals of Western standards, but this is not entirely reflective of the students who focus on this field.
In the 21st century, where colonialism and imperialism are becoming more recognized as destructive to economic, political and social institutions, should not that mean that legacy disciplines like art history should also be decolonized? Professor Qiu observed, “art history is the top discipline that makes freshmen, what like the school might call like minority students, first generation and higher education students and like folks of like, not for class, wealth, feel excluded. That is more than any other discipline offered at a private institution.” A broader focus on world art, looking at the ways different cultures across the world interact with and use it, brings more humanity to the subject but also contorts the “canon” to look at how art history is not just one singular narrative. Instead, art history would involve multiple intersecting stories that define art in different ways and analyze it with different methods, destroying the Eurocentric perspectives that prompt memorization and regurgitation. By incorporating diverse art in the canon, it requires students to see art as a multifaceted subject that changes based on the function it was created for and the context in which it is in— showing how art transforms understanding. Despite some of the drawbacks of the can-
that emotion to a viewer.” Everything in art is intentional; that is what makes it art. The medium, the colors, the composition, the function—these traits reveal so much about the art and the person, whether it is a political message or an emotional confession, analyzing these components of art should be the main focus of the disciple. What does the work communicate? How does it communicate it? And most importantly, what do you feel?
Although the canon of art history has been able to produce this understanding for a student, the method of teaching it subjects these skills to a smaller degree, creating a delicate balance between knowing the facts and understanding this analysis. Professor Qiu asks, “Can art history still be art history when it’s being practiced in the streets, when it’s being practiced with activists, instead of people with PhDs?” Decentering art history from an academic field to one where every artist is involved opens the doors of the discipline to study and learn about it in different ways rather than just one linear perspective. This is why more hands-on projects like curation, instead of the traditional paper, allow art history students to get closer to the functions and power of art in a spatial context. Professor Qiu has been tinkering with this idea in some of their classes, potentially offering a curatorial project: “It encourages us to think more critically about how objects coexist in a space together, why certain things are put in proximity, why some things are kept apart, and the different framing devices that often try to seem invisible and to draw that into our attention.” So although not every student in art history might end up in curation, the skills that are built, and the student’s relationship to art, grow from an outside viewer watching a rotation of analysis and pictures on a projector, to an intimate organization of thought and emotion that comes with dealing with art on a one-to-one scale. Kolcun thinks “the objects [should] guide…discussion and insert the history when necessary. You learn a lot more about the objects and like how they were made and who made them.”
pecially on the canon, traces how art has evolved and its socio-political functions over time. Although art is influenced by the context, it is also a personal act that was created by humans, but this aspect of humanity is not the central focus of art history. Though historical knowledge does benefit the field of art, in terms of understanding what it is and its role in society, it does not focus on the art itself. “We don’t necessarily have to absorb all the values that this canon reflects, but to understand that it has had tremendous, not only art historical, but political, imperial, colonialist consequences,” Professor Qiu says. History is a discipline that is rooted in this principle, where we look at the trajectory of time to see its impact, which is why art should be incorporated in this field. Instead of the focus on history being just guided by an objective lens, it is also supplemented by a subjective interpretation of events by real people of this era. Art is a primary source of how a society functions and can complement the structure of historiography much better.
So, if art history would no longer emphasize history, what would the field become? It would be a field of art. Art is a window into another individual’s psyche through a different language, so learning about art should center on this prime idea. Kolcun believes, “the undertone of all of that [art historical] skill is being able to assess why a human being made a decision to reach a certain emotional effect in a painting and to convey
Amending a discipline as vast and as strong as art history is one that can take time. Scholars, with greater education and time, likely have more to say about this topic than prospective majors like me. But across the few courses I have taken, the patterns I have seen have made me question the merit of the discipline. Coming from a South Asian background, it frustrated me to see my culture’s history in art be condensed to three paintings or have one of the smaller exhibitions at a museum like The Met. When it comes to approaching the function of the “canon” expanding its range to include works from more cultures and people, looking at art from different values and ideas while also incorporating assignments that require an interactive method can change the way art history is seen and understood—making a holistic approach to a secular field and emphasizing what art is.
With “Mona Lisa Smile” being made in 2004, but set in the early 1960s, it is interesting that not much has changed in terms of the teaching of art history. When asked if art history was the correct metaphor to discuss the themes in “Mona Lisa Smile,” Kolcun agreed, while Professor Qiu questioned if other disciplines like English or anthropology could have been better. Although opinions on this matter might differ, there is a need to push for a new approach to teaching across the board, beginning with disciplines that need to focus more on the students that are studying them rather than upholding a legacy of what their past purpose was.
Image courtesy of Kacie Burns ’28.
Experimental play ‘Barbecue’ impresses in four-acts
Continued from Barbecue on page 1
and riotous personalities, we’re confronted with questions about race, wealth, and class in America. The play investigates how we lie to ourselves and our families, how we try to shine a spotlight on other peoples’ issues while trying to hide our own, and most importantly, how that as much as this family gets on each other’s last nerve, there is love and care buried deep somewhere underneath the nagging, the name calling, and the yelling.”
There was a lot to like about “Barbecue,” but I was immediately struck by the set, designed by Tania Barrenechea Barreda and Rebecca King ’26. The lights came up on a grassy park, a wooden gazebo shaded by a tall tree and a brick grill off to the side. This is the location where the entirety of “Barbecue” takes place—aside from a few set pieces, little changed as the play progressed. Though initially simple, the detail work was truly admirable, right down to the touches of graffiti on the brick wall and the soot on the grill. Do not let the unchanging set fool you, however: “Barbecue” is a four-act beast of a play that requires a delicate balance of intense emotionality and measured realism to properly execute. Each role in “Barbecue” is played by two different actors: one Black and one white. At critical junctures in the intervention, the cast switches back and forth, so that we are able to observe how race plays a role in influencing how the story ends up.
The pairings were wonderfully executed— dressed in identical costumes but with their own take on their half of the characters; these actors toed the line between somberness and comedy with finesse. My personal favorite pairing was Jillian Cole ’28 and Clementine Gnoto ’27 as Adlean—chain-smoking in bedazzled denim and cheetah-print, they never failed to make me laugh.
As the play arrives at the intervention’s “climax,” someone offstage yells “CUT!” and reveals that this has been a movie-within-aplay all along. The rest of the play explores the commodification inherent in adapting a “real” story into a movie and where the line between fiction and reality lies. Robyn Lindsay ’25, as Black Movie Star Barbara, stole the show. Her physical comedy and stage presence, combined with an impending sense of restrained insanity, made for a truly impressive performance on all levels.
The rehearsal process for “Barbecue” was no joke: actors showed up for multiple weeks Monday through Thursday 7:15 to 10:45 p.m. Students had the opportunity to work with acclaimed director Taylor Reynolds, a seasoned professional with credits from theaters from Studio Theatre in Washington, D.C. to The Hudson Valley Shakespeare Company. Reynolds specializes in new play development and working with themes of race, gender and identity.
Drama majors at Vassar are required to complete a senior project in order to complete
their degree—for seniors Lindsay, Alexandra Polur Gold ’25, Abby Bettencourt ’25 and Zerah Ruiz ’25, this project was “Barbecue.”
Lindsay auditioned for “Barbecue” in a series of senior thesis auditions—senior actors must write an essay indicating the role and/ or show they would like to participate in, and are then cast. Luckily, Lindsay was cast in her first choice, “Barbecue,” a show that aligns with many of her acting goals.
“I wanted to be in ‘Barbecue’ first and foremost because although I’ve been acting for so long, I have never played a character in which being black was a central and important part of the story and character before,” Linsday wrote in an interview with The Miscellany News. “I mean, as a person I’m not able to separate my blackness from anything I do, and I wanted to play a character that was made for black actors and reflected the black experience.”
Lindsay is no stranger to acting at Vassar. Recently, she both directed and acted in “for colored girls who have considered suicide/ when the rainbow is enuf”, a poignant play in verse about the struggles of black feminine individuals. In this tumultuous political climate, she finds inspiration and joy in her theatrical work.
“My main motivation is…telling black stories, especially in a place and time that silences them a lot of the time, and making you think about it and question what your mind has been telling you this whole time, even af-
ter you step out of the theater,” said Lindsay. For Polur Gold, “Barbecue” was an opportunity to flex multiple muscles. Polur Gold had a double burden to bear as both White Barbara and the play’s dramaturg. Dramaturgs are responsible for digging into the text of the play and aiding in the process of world-building, researching the broader sociohistorical context and noticing details that may otherwise go unnoticed. Polur Gold tells me that at the beginning of the rehearsal process for “Barbecue,” they went through the script and wrote down one hundred interesting things they wanted to explore.
“I took a dramaturgy class with Dr. Culp my spring junior year, and she mentioned that ‘Barbecue’ needed a dramaturg,” said Polur Gold. “Because I loved the work we did in the class, and because the themes in ‘Barbecue’ relate to me on a very personal level, I wanted to try to do the piece some amount of justice.” Polur Gold hails from Kentucky and says that witnessing firsthand the drug addiction crisis in their hometown of Louisville informed their dramaturgy and helped them connect to the play on a personal level.
“Barbecue engages with the legacy of American policies, particularly the Reaganist rhetoric of “welfare queens,” and how we view addiction in white versus Black communities,” Polur Gold says in her dramaturg note in “Barbecue”’s program. “How do our views on substance abuse change based on who is consuming the substance?”
Manion lectures on ‘100 Years of British Gender Ideology’
Continued from Manion on page 1
vances were more than I thought I would see in my lifetime,” Manion said. “The backlash is happening because we have been winning tremendously.” The professor looked back to 2003 with the decriminalization of sodomy in Lawrence v. Texas, to 2010 with the repealing of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, to 2013 with the overturning of the Defense of Marriage Act, and to 2015, the year gay marriage was legalized. After 2015, all that progress—specifically regarding the legalization of gay marriage— served to galvanize the social conservatives of America into action. LGBTQ+ Lleaders needed to return to the drawing board and identify a new cause to rally behind. Terry Schilling, the president of the American Principles Project, said it himself in tThe New York Times in 2023: “We needed to find an issue that the candidates were comfortable talking about. And we threw everything at the wall.” The Rright utilized the divided population’s discomfort with changing gender norms to wage a war on the issue of transgender rights. Early attempts, such as the North Carolina ‘“Bathroom Bill”’ in 2016, which sought to ban transgender people from using the bathroom aligned with their gender identities, were knocked down. Strategists re-oriented their argument on the pretense of young people’s safety and parents’ rights. In 2021, Arkansas passed legislation prohibiting minors from receiving transition medication or surgery, while leading medical groups opposed this position taken by an increasing number of states. Transgender rights were often brought into question in the context of sports—– an endeavor that gained significant traction and bred widespread tension within towns and cities across the country.
Manion went on to remindreminds the audience that, contrary to popular belief, this is not a new discourse. As early as 1840, cross-dressing was explicitly banned by law in the United States; people were punished for wearing articles of clothing inappropriate to their sex. The early existence of this legis-
lation insinuates the early existence of people who desired to defy it. Medicine then got on board in the 1890s to pathologize homosexuality and gender nonconformity. Viewing queer individuals as perverts, doctors deemed them as possessing “sexual inversion” or “sexual deviance.” These developments led to pain, punishment, and institutionalization for gender non-conforming identities, which eventually came to a breaking point with the rise of transgender medicine in the 1950s. The decade of the 1960s was pivotal—transgender protests broke out across the nation, and aforementioned laws stating that cross-dressing was criminal conduct were overturned. Much of the transgender rights landscape today stems from the modern movement that began in the 1990s, which saw the emergence of trans-specific organizations from beneath the LGBTQ+ umbrella.
But even at the time, the American animosity against cross-dressing 200 years ago was not novel. Instead, Manion points further back to the literature of 18th and 19th century Britain as the root of the “gender ideology” that Donald Trump’s administration refers to with such disdain. These roots are founded in unconventional sources: the cautionary pamphlets of Englishmen recounting the lives of female husbands.
According to Manion, a female husband was a person assigned female at birth who transed gender—this terminology of “transing” gender is used to signify a process, not to claim an understanding of what it may have meant to the person at the time—to live in the legal, social, and economic position of a man and marry a woman. In contemporary terms, female husbands may be described as “transgender, butch, nonbinary, lesbian, bisexual, or asexual.” Traces of these identities are found in small towns and big cities across the U.K. and the U.S. from 1746 to the period immediately preceding World War I. They were presented as shocking and controversial figures, often headlined as “extraordinary.” Female husbands were early examples of the
fact that gender is malleable and undetermined by sex; their legal marriages are early depictions of the joy and love that arise from intimate partnerships between women. As a threat to a predictable patriarchal society, they were the targets of scrutiny by many, whether that was by a coworker, neighbor or in-law.
Among similar figures such as Charles Hamilton or James Allen, Manion cited the story of James Howe and Mary Snapes, which circulated in 1776, as the most well-known. James and Mary had known each other since childhood. They grew up poor; they were put out to work as teenagers. Together, the pair eventually decided that James would “trans” genders and live as a man. Their clandestine marriage took place outside of Fleet Prison in London. Owning a tavern there for 20 years, James partook in physically demanding labor, paid taxes, went to church, donated to the poor, and socked some money away. The lives of the couple turned out better than they had expected considering the earlier turmoil they had suffered—– but the tides turned again when Mary passed away after 34 years of marriage and James found himself blackmailed by a former neighbor, caught in an endless loop of hefty payments. The neighbor sent a group of friends posing as policemen into the bar to beat James up and tell him that the punishment for impersonating a man was death, though that statement was not true. Feeling as though he had no choice, James alerted the authorities of the situation.
To remove the threat of prosecution and gain sympathy, James entered the courtroom in women’s clothing and used his birth name. Manion chuckled while relaying the account of James’s court appearance, reading the following quote from a newspaper: “The alteration of her dress from that of a man to that of a woman appeared so great, that together with her awkward behavior in her new assumed habit, it caused a great diversion.” James lived as a man in a community that recognized him as such for so long that, upon wearing clothes
labeled as feminine, he appeared unwieldy in a way that elicited discomfort from onlookers. Manion asserts that living as a man effectively made him into more of a man, and that James, as a husband, businessman, churchgoer, and juror, even became something of an example; the pamphlet recirculated in part to instruct men on how they should behave. Visible foundations of “gender ideology” from the British canon arise from Priscilla Wakefield, a writer who criticized James Howe and called him by his birth name as an “ignorant woman.” The historian mused that the most interesting thing in Wakefield’s reflection is her explanation as to why people trans: “One must conclude that the mind and body had been mismatched, and by some mishap, had been discordantly united.” Here lies a distinction between mind and body— between gender and sex. This psychology of self-perceived identity as discrepant from the body marks the cornerstone of gender ideology, which was eventually embraced by psychologists and psychiatrists in the 1950s and 1960s who created the concept of gender identity.
Speculation continues as to whether or not female husbands may be considered in our contemporary language as “transgender.” Some say yes, as they embodied the presentations and positions of men for a lifetime. Some say maybe, considering that they may have been motivated by same-sex desire, economic hardship, or a desire to escape patriarchy. In the professor’s opinion, these questions are neither here nor there. What matters is that people in the 18th and 19th centuries rejected norms and created the concept of gender. “For over 100 years, people have changed their sex medically. For hundreds and hundreds, lawyers, doctors, wives, neighbors, feminists, and consumers of the news have recognized that gender is different from sex. This is true. These are facts. This history has been written, and it will not be erased,” Manion said. “It belongs to us, and it must be passed on, now or never.”
‘Gay-for-Pay’ in Hollywood: A queer phenomenon
Eduardo Culmer Columnist
So…the “peach scene.” In 2017, the world watched with bated breath as rising star Timothée Chalamet defiled a fruit in Luca Guadagnino’s iconic queer love story, “Call Me By Your Name.” The actor’s ability to depict raw, unfiltered emotions—even when messily masturbating with a peach—took the world by storm and catapulted his previously dim celebrity into full-on super-stardom. Many fans resonated with his display of “soft masculinity,” which subverted traditional Hollywood notions of machismo and cemented his position in the cultural zeitgeist as a doe-eyed heartthrob and “White Boy of the Month” in perpetuity.
Industry reception to Chalamet aligned closely with audience opinions: Defined by a heart-wrenching two-minute close-up of Chalamet staring into a fireplace and crying softly as the credits rolled, his performance in the film garnered massive critical acclaim and scored him an Oscar nomination for Best Actor. Although “Call Me By Your Name” is a fundamentally queer story, two heterosexual men play the lead queer roles, with both Chalamet and his co-star Armie Hammer identifying as straight men—for all we know. Chalamet is one of the most well-known straight actors to have taken on a queer role and received massive attention and success from it, but he is far from the first.
In 1994, Tom Hanks won an Oscar for his portrayal of Andrew Beckett, a quasi-fictional gay man with HIV in “Philadelphia.” The first film to tackle the 1980s AIDS crisis, “Philadelphia” has been lauded as a groundbreaking and brave piece of art securely lodged in the timeline of LGBTQ+ cinema history. With a heartbreaking script and a heavily character-driven plot, “Philadelphia” gave Hanks his first real chance to flex his acting chops in a Drama film. Prior to his leading role as Beckett, Hanks was primarily known for his appearances in rom-coms such as “Splash” (1984) and “Big” (1988); this departure into serious, provocative material
was a turning point in his career that led to Hanks’ appearance in countless critically acclaimed drama films in the years following. The year 2005 gave the world many things: Google Maps, “Brangelina” and gay cowboys. “Brokeback Mountain” released on Dec. 9, 2005, and the ripples it sent into the queer community can still be seen today, 20 years later, in the work of depressed TikTok editors everywhere. Two straight men—Jake Gyllenhaal and the late, great Heath Ledger—play a pair of repressed lovers who escape society’s heteronormative expectations (and their wives) by fleeing to the mountains. Similarly to “Philadelphia,” the film’s taboo premise and the provocative script made space for two show-stopping performances from the leads, resulting in Oscar nominations for both Gyllenhaal and Ledger.
Chalamet, Hanks, Gyllenhaal, Ledger. Since “Brokeback Mountain” in 2005, at least 35 Oscar nominations have been for queer roles, according to the Guardian. Out of these 35 nominations, none of the nominees have reported to be out members of the LGBTQ+ community. Until Colman Domingo’s 2023 nomination for “Rustin” and Jodie Foster’s 2023 nomination for “Nyad,” Ian McKellan, a 1998 Oscar nominee, was the only openly queer actor to be nominated for playing a queer character. As gleaned from the overwhelming amount of Academy attention garnered by these actors’ portrayals of homosexual characters, it seems as if many actors consider “playing gay” a sure-fire way to please critics and elevate their professional careers. Why is this the case? Why are actors so drawn to scripts with tragic queer protagonists, and why is the Academy so eager to reward their performance?
Simply put, queer stories are better.
“I think every great movie is gay,” said film director Guadagnino in a 2025 interview with Vidéo Club. “There is not a movie that is not gay if it’s great or at least queer.” Films that are overtly queer or have homosexual undertones often provide more opportunity for emotional depth than films that focus on traditional, heteronormative roles. The basis for Charlie’s story in Darren Arronofsky’s
2022 film “The Whale” is heart-rending on its own: Charlie is an overweight man eating himself to death while fighting to reclaim his relationship with his estranged daughter. But, when the added layer of Charlie’s queerness and the shame he feels around his identity are added, you get a performance that is more than just sad. You get an Oscar. And, in Brendan Fraser’s case, a monumental career comeback.
Due to the historical and ongoing oppression of LGBTQ+ people in society, these queer roles have much more opportunity to explore the effects of trauma, guilt, repression and obsession on the human psyche—all things that make for great cinema and prestige parts for ambitious actors. In recent years, however, this exploitation of queer trauma has come under fire and circulated the internet in barrages of buzzwords like “trauma porn,” and many have begun to wonder whether or not straight actors should be cast in queer roles. Countless of these straight actors, many of whom have portrayed queer characters in the past and gotten recognition for it, have come out in support of this phenomenon. “An actor is an actor is an actor,” remarked Stanley Tucci,
known for his role as a flamboyant gay man in “The Devil Wears Prada.” “You’re supposed to play different people. You just are. That’s the whole point of it.” Tucci and many of his colleagues believe that actors should do just that: act. From their perspective, the identity of the person portraying a queer character should not matter unless, of course, the film is a documentary. Detractors of this idea preach that representation matters beyond the character themself and that queer stories can only be told in a fully authentic manner by people who are part of the community. My opinion falls somewhere between these two bodies of thought: actors should be chosen for a role based on their skill and fit for the role, but the ratio between how many of these actors are actually queer is insane. With Hollywood darling Jacob Elordi set to star in a 2025 gay drama titled “On Swift Horses,” Drew Starkey playing queer in “Queer” and Sydney Sweeney’s upcoming portrayal of famed lesbian boxer Christy Martin, the “Gay for Pay” phenomenon has seemingly no end in sight. Moral of the story? Expect to see many more peaches defiled by straight boys and sad lesbian lovers with a husband and kids at home in the near future.
Berk Meral/The Miscellany News.
Tori Kim/The Miscellany News.
BREAKING NEWS
From the desk of Oliver
Stewart, Humor Editor
Peter Pan now Peter Hetero after Trump executive order
President Bradley’s plot to BRING THE BOOM to Vassar
Emma daRosa Rizzlette
Dearest readers, I come to you today with a rather shocking piece of super hot goss from the desk of none other than the one, the only, President Elizabeth Bradley. This lascivious tale was shared with me by my long term, ultra-confidential, ultra-close to PB source, an anonymous operative known only as Brohn Jadley. What I have to share may distress you, but I implore that you read on with an open mind.
With all of the recent hubbub regarding higher education in this country, it’s no surprise that President Bradley is starting to succumb to the weight of the responsibility on her shoulders. By combing through countless secret email records and having countless secret meetings with my secret source, I have discovered her secret plan for helping Vassar College through these troubling times. President Bradley is on the verge of handing control of the College over to none other than the Costco Guys and the Rizzler.
“It can’t be! They don’t have any higher education administration experience at all!” you may be thinking. I, however, alongside many close to Bradley’s plan, am singing a different tune. Maybe this is the exact kind of shakeup that we need! If there’s not going to be an educator running education in this country, perhaps a new kind of opponent is what we need. Who better to take on former WWE CEO and new Secretary of Education, Linda McMahon, than Big Boom AJ himself! Someone who truly possesses the mind and spirit of a wrestler is exactly who
we should want steering this ship. I have to admit, some of the plans they have laid out for their inevitable takeover seem pretty good to me. As a serious journalist, it’s important to me that you get all the facts.
Though I am putting myself at great personal risk by doing so, I’ll share these plans with you all right now.
First, and most obviously, construction on the new admissions center or whatever will immediately cease, and the work will pivot to build a much more critical structure on campus. That’s right, Costco is coming to our very own backyard! Goodbye to wasting money, hello to investing campus resources towards what we all need: a one-stop shop for all the people of Poughkeepsie’s needs from birth to death. This store will be fully outfitted not just with the Costco classics (diapers, coffins, rotisserie chickens, saunas), a full food court with all the new administrations favorites (chicken bakes, double chunk chocolate cookies), but also some exclusive merchandise designed to appeal especially to Vassar students (50 pound bags of nutritional yeast, pocket guides to casually bringing up that you studied abroad in Madrid).
Secondly, a project that Big Justice seems particularly excited about: All sports teams at Vassar will immediately be disbanded and replaced with one mega banana ball team. Honestly, dear readers, he just really likes the Savannah Bananas. I think the Rizzler is throwing him a bone here.
Finally, you may be wondering where the Rizzler will fit in. I mean, what could a child his age possibly do to create real change on a college campus? Well, I think
his is the most exciting proposition of all. To finally help everyone on this horrifically awkward campus start going on dates instead of pining on Fizz, he’ll be founding his own multi-disciplinary department, “Rizzing Studies.” This first-of-its-kind program will draw upon feminist anthropology, Russian literature, organic chemistry and bowling to help Vassar students couple up. I personally am most excited about this move, hopefully everyone can stop describing their… physical reactions to seeing their campus crush on Fizz and actually do something about it. Really, it’s getting graphic. That’s no kind of environment to raise a Rizzler in.
I know that this change will certainly be unsettling. I mean, there are a million more
small things that I didn’t have time to mention here that we’re all going to have to adjust to. Still, I think that in time we will all become accustomed to life under the new dome that they’re installing to recreate the weather in Boca Raton, and soon the mandatory use of an exaggerated Jersey Shore accent will become second nature. I hope that everyone will give this new leadership a chance. I know it won’t be for everyone, but this might be the most dramatic shakeup President Bradley has ever brought to Vassar, topped only by the Fearlessly Consequential campaign, which we all understood and cared about and remember. I’ll leave you all with a final, simple statement. This reporter gives the new oligarchy FIVE BIG BOOMS!
Nicholas Tillinghast/The Miscellany News.
March Sadness: A March Madness update
Josie Wenner WNBA Hopeful
Ilike watching basketball, but more than that, I like gambling. March Madness is my time to shine. My family does a March Madness pool every year for the men’s tournament ($10 entry and the winner takes all) and I’ve won two years in a row. Unfortunately, things are not looking so hot this year. This is a breakdown of where I went wrong.
First of all, I don’t think I necessarily went wrong. It’s not my fault my picks were wrong. It’s the teams’ fault because they all SUCKED. I went to the Clemson-McNeese game over break, and by all means Clemson (a five seed) should have smoked McNeese (a 12 seed). Clemson played the worst game I have ever seen in my three years of paying attention to basketball. Genuinely, I think I could have done better. They kept trying to score three-pointers, and they missed so many it kind of hurt to watch. At halftime, they were losing 31-13. McNeese didn’t even play exceptionally well, but every single Clemson player seemed to forget that they needed to score points to win. It was a crazy upset, and I was crazy upset.
Unfortunately, my biggest mistake is often choosing with my heart and not my head. I hail from the great state of Connecticut, and I’m often biased towards UConn. Usually
this works out pretty well for me (2023/2024 BACK TO BACK CHAMPIONS), but that was not the way the basketball dribbled this year. I had UConn (an 8 seed) beating Florida (a 1 seed). Everybody else in my pool correctly assumed this wouldn’t happen, but I dared to dream. UConn was beating Florida for most of the game, but the Gators pulled ahead in the second half (side note: I like writing this article because I feel like a basketball commentator). This was the final nail in the coffin for my bracket. Half of my final four is out of the tournament. I’m going to lose the pool. My mom is making fun of me.
Usually, I pick based on vibes, and I think my biggest flop of the year was watching the basketball commentators and considering their picks. Two of them had Clemson going to the final four. This one guy said that High Point would beat Purdue (wrong), UCSD would beat Michigan (wrong), Yale would beat Texas A&M (wrong), and McNeese would beat Clemson (tragically right). Next year, I vow to not pay any attention to the people who watch basketball for a living and instead follow what I know to be true in my heart.
In my first year of doing March Madness, I did not know that the numbers next to the team names were their seed numbers. I picked completely randomly, paying no attention to seed numbers, overall season, and the pre-
vious year’s tournament, and I did terribly. However, I think that strategy would have worked out better than my current bracket.
Huskies!
I think something’s a little weird about my roommate
Oliver Stewart Needs Roommate
Me and my roommate Beelzebub have gotten along pretty well for most of the year, but since we came back from break, I feel like he’s been acting kind of strangely.
I mean, he’s always been eccentric—constantly leaving grimoires lying around and stuff—but this week, things have really gone to another level.
I came back to campus on Sunday afternoon, and when I arrived, Beelzebub was still nowhere to be seen. Night fell, and he still hadn’t come back, which struck me as a little odd—didn’t he want to get some rest before the start of classes? I didn’t think much about it at the time, though, because I was busy working on my econometrics problem set.
I was still engrossed in work when the clock struck midnight, but I was soon startled by a tremendous clap of thunder. The door flew open, and in strode Beelzebub, night-black cape streaming behind him.
“Hey, Beelzy!” I said jovially. “What’s up, dude? How was your break?”
My questions went unanswered. He’s probably just tired from the journey, I thought.
“Long trip?” I asked. “That Metro-North can be a real pain.” As I posed this question, he turned to look at me, and the feeling of his eyes boring into me sent shivers down my spine.
Beelzebub seemed confused. When I followed up, he said that he didn’t take the Metro-North, but instead came back to campus “upon a flaming chariot pulled by skeletal horses.”
“That’s awesome, man,” I said. “Actually, where do you live, anyway? New Jersey?” I felt bad that I’d never asked that before, but I guess it had just never come up.
“My home is in the darkest pit of Hell’s seventh ring,” he said. “I am present wherever the hearts and deeds of men are wicked; wherever pain and suffering are found, you will find me in their company.”
“Gotcha, dude.” I replied. “Jersey.”
That was the end of our conversation. After that, I went to bed, and Beelzebub hung upside down from the sprinkler pipe watching me. His sleep schedule seems kinda cracked, but hey, whatever works.
Monday is a busy class day for me, so I was out of the room for most of the day. It was only after dinner, around 7:30 p.m., that I came back to the room. When I opened the door, I was greeted with a shocking sight. Beelzebub had drawn a pentagram on the floor in what looked like blood, surrounded by a circle of candles, and was reciting a sonorous chant in a guttural, inhuman language. Inside the circle, the floor seemed to melt away, replaced by a violently rippling black surface that terrified and mesmerized me in equal measure.
“Dude, what are you doing?” I said, aghast.
“Did you draw on the floor? You know they charge us for that at the end of the year, right?”
His reply was wordless, a growling scream which made it clear that I was an unwelcome witness. I took the hint and backed out of the room, only coming back around midnight and making sure to knock when I returned. Beelzebub seemed really angry when I walked in on his ceremony thing, and I wasn’t taking any chances. The whole thing kind of annoyed me. I totally get it if he wants some privacy, but a little warning would be nice, you know?
At this point, I was starting to question how me and Beelzebub even became roommates in the first place. He’s been pretty chill since we moved in, for the most part— he even lent me his pitchfork for my devil costume on Halloween! I invited him to
come out with me that night, but he said he couldn’t, because it was “the night on which the border between my world and the human world is thinnest.” It just felt like an excuse for him not to hang out with me, which was honestly really hurtful.
Look, don’t get me wrong: Beelzebub is a really nice guy, but we just don’t have that much in common. In a last attempt to connect with him, I asked what he did in his free time.
“I sear the souls of sinners on the ever-burning brazier,” he said.
“Oh, sweet,” I said. “Maybe you can show me sometime.”
Beelzebub threw back his head and cackled.
“Perhaps I will show you sooner than you think,” he intoned. What a weirdo.
Go Duke, and fuck Clemson. My women’s bracket is doing pretty well. Roll
Josie Wenner/The Miscellany News.
HOROSCOPES
Emma daRosa Breastmilk Curious
ARIES March 21 | April 19
Tread lightly my friend. The stars have indicated that the start of spring at Vassar is bringing you nothing but danger. This week, don’t approach any hammocks. Honestly, you can’t really avoid it, you’re going to trip over a hammock and hit your head on a tree and be humiliated. Sorry about that.
TAURUS April 20 | May 20
GEMINI May 21 | June 20
Oh bother, it seems that you’re destined to leave a red sock in with all your whites this week! If I were you, I would burn all of my red socks in the middle of the quad immediately. Maybe you’ll even attract some followers, start an anti-red sock cult. Surely the VSA will approve that pre-org.
You’re gonna have a big fallout with some friends this week. They’re going to make housing plans without you. Bummer, but you can’t really blame them. Your insistence that you should all live together in the tunnels under the quad was weird.
CANCER June 21 | July 22
Did you ever think about how you could literally just go outside and collect a bunch of sticks and craft a wilderness shelter and live there and become the cool mysterious campus hermit? No? Think about it.
LIBRA Sept. 23 | Oct. 22
SCORPIO Oct. 23 | Nov. 21
This should be a pretty banger week, someone is going to let you try their breast milk! Report back to us on how it is. I’ve always imagined it to be like vanilla-flavored drinkable yogurt…
Seems like this is finally the big week… you’re gonna lose your V-Card! You probably think I’m making a joke about your Vassar ID card. Nope! I really do mean your virginity. Hope you get your world rocked! (The stars say not to count on that though).
SAGITTARIUS Nov. 22 | Dec. 21
I checked with the stars, and they just gave me a really good feeling about you and hummus this week. That could be a fun way to get a cool nickname. Like “The Chickpea Casanova”...Maybe workshop that.
CAPRICORN Dec. 22 | Jan. 19
Get crafty this week! I’m talking sequins, I’m talking glitter, I’m talking macaroni. What should you craft on? Well, I’ve heard President Bradley is looking for someone to spruce up her croquet mallets.
LEO July 23 | Aug. 22
Keep your eyes peeled for critters this week. One of them is seeking you out to teach you a secret handshake. You deserve cool new critter friends. Perhaps a pine marten.
VIRGO Aug. 23 | Sept. 22
You really need to quit watching all those Instagram Reels about balancing your hormones and stuff. I know those women seem really happy but raw milk is not going to solve all your vagina problems. You’re acting like a Republican… ewww.
AQUARIUS Jan. 20 | Feb. 18
You should try your best to pet a ton of dogs this week. Maybe stand in the middle of the quad with a lasso and catch anyone who’s walking a dog. A fishing rod would work too. Hopefully you have good aim.
PISCES Feb. 19 | March 20
Oh no! There’s a little guy living in your walls. It seems like he’s friendly though! Maybe a small animal of sorts. Just be friendly, I’ve heard he’s a real sock thief. Maybe you could help out your favorite Taurus, leave out all their red ones.
To pack or not pack: Traveling with dignity
Nicholas Tillinghast Suitcase Apologist
I’m what you might call an overpacker from the standpoint of and in regard to traveling. I pack more than I need and then some (pause for laughter). There’s an indignity in struggling to lug around far more bags than one needs for, say, a two-week vacation, but there’s another indignity in forgetting to pack certain essential items. Here’s a comprehensive guide to packing right for your next trip.
Selecting Luggage
Luggage is as great a place to start as any. Suitcases are a pretty essential piece of luggage and I think people should travel with more of them. Most people probably think it’s stupid to travel with multiple suitcases, even though it makes perfect sense to do that because they have wheels, and you probably have two hands and could probably carry at least two per hand. Alas, a secondary or tertiary piece of luggage is usually a wheelless bag of some sort.
I’ve always traveled with at least one blue polyester lKEA bag, which is unfortunate because they have no aura and zero drip. It is recommended instead to travel with a briefcase overflowing with documents so you look hard working but imperfect. Our experts at Miscellany News Cableslicer, through rigorous testing, have found that this is the cheapest briefcase on Amazon.
Packing Clothes
Sometimes, I wish I had just an identical set of brown-and-yellow-striped sweaters, like Barry in the adequately rated 2007 film, “Bee Movie,” and that I could just wear the same outfit every day of a trip and not have to think about my apparel at all, but I choose variety over substance.
It’s recommended to pack one more set of clothes than the days that you are traveling, and then another set in case that extra set spontaneously lights on fire, and then double that number in case you shit your pants every day. There are certain clothing items that you can definitively overpack. I’ve been known to overpack baseball caps (I brought like nine to summer camp one year). With any accessories, you should be choosy about how many you bring. More than two zoot suit hats is excessive.
Packing Entertainment
Most forms of entertainment are readily accessible on “the phone” these days, but there’s always value in traveling with physical board games. In the sorely underrated 2025 film, “Paddington in Peru,” Mrs.
Brown decides to bring a travel set of Scrabble on the family’s trip to Peru. Later in the movie, when they arrive in Peru, she asks her daughter if she wants to play Scrabble and she says she doesn’t want to play. That is the entire Scrabble arc in the film. You have to prepare for such disappointments with these things (if Mrs. Brown had suggested some sort of phone activity, maybe her daughter would have been interested). Still, on the off-chance that someone will play Scrabble with you, pack Scrabble.
Packing Food
Having a good snack on hand is an important part of overcoming the uncertainties of travel. I often take an Amtrak train back from college and, on my last trip, the cafe cart was closed from 5:30 to 7:15 p.m., essentially meaning it was closed for the entire dinner rush. This is not an uncommon occurrence on Amtrak’s Maple Leaf train line. Luckily I had brought a sub sandwich on my journey back to Poughkeepsie, so this inconvenience was trivial. Also on the train ride back from college, I spilled five small
packs of raisins on the floor which I had to pick up. While a bummer, this feeling was completely offset by the sense of ease I had from not being raisinless on the trip. Bring any food that puts you at ease.
Packing Toiletries
I don’t know how popular of a take this is, but I think complimentary hotel toiletries are pretty rad and I like using them over whatever soap or shampoo that I bring. Most toiletries can be procured from wherever it is that you’re staying, whether a hotel or someone’s house or otherwise, so only pack the essentials. The only item that I think is truly essential to bring is your toothbrush, because that’s an intimate relationship.
Traveling with Animals
Traveling with animals is tricky. I don’t envy anybody traveling with a cat or dog on a plane, though I do envy the cat or dog because flying on a plane is pretty cool. Smaller animals, like bugs, are far more portable and manageable on flights. I saw this video
a couple weeks ago of a woman taking a call on a phone that had an ant farm on the back of it, and while that’s probably not great ant treatment, there’s nothing stopping you from traveling around with a standard ant farm or, better yet, a talking cricket who will give you advice on your journey, so you can become a legitimate boy.
What not to pack
I recommend saving space where you can for the trip back, which means not packing certain items. For things I have not covered in the section below, and in the interest of complete clarity, here’s a comprehensive list of things not to travel with: a large beach ball (blown up), multiple staplers, a live crab, • egg (raw), • a fish tank, The Declaration of Independence (original) Well, that does it. With this info, you should be able to get where you’re going with plenty of dignity left.
The five summer jobs you applied for this year
Wren Buehler
#OpenToWork
As we make our way through the spring, many internship and job applications are finally starting to get back to us. In fact, your friend who always seems to have their shit together already heard back from a prestigious internship that somehow also pays like 80 bucks an hour. But recently, I’ve had a little revelation—there are actually only five types of summer opportunities, and you probably applied for all of them.
5. The Smithsonian-Harvard Internship for Really, Really, Really Distinguished Scholars.
You know the type. Six and a half slots,
mediocre stipend, name recognition for days. This is the one where you really make sure to emphasize that you’re a woman in STEM, because every little bit of advantage counts. Even if you’re a he/they working through an English major. Sure, it’s a reach, but maybe you’re one of the lucky few? No chance. Keep dreaming, dipshit.
4. Ol’ Stevie’s Arguments-Encouraged Hardware Store.
So maybe you set your sights a little too high with that first one. How about a nice part-time job with a decent salary? No? How about a bad part-time job with a minimum wage salary?
Hope you said yes, because that’s what this is. Sure, the pay is terrible, all of your
coworkers will be sophomores from your high school and Ol’ Stevie’s promises halfoff on all items if a customer can make one of the staff members cry, but… uh… it could be worse! Somehow.
3. The Middle of Nowhere Institute for Your Hyper-Niche Interest.
Oh, this one looks cool! It’s the first internship you’ve found that focuses on the intersection of Peronist philosophy, late 20th century hip-hop and eusocial mammal ecology, which is crazy, because it’s such a growing field right now. But what’s that? There, in the location section of the application?
Yep, there’s the catch. The institute is located two hours away from your house, and
you don’t have a car ever since that mix-up with the cursed Aztec gold. Also, the metro lines are a no-go ever since you tried to transfer that cursed Aztec gold onto your metro card.
2. Assistant Internship at the Realistic Society for Reasonable Ambitions. Sure, it’s not as glamorous as Smithsonian-Harvard. But this is some real shit! A well-paying, career-relevant internship with a reasonable commute and a positive work environment. The only downside… You have to write a cover letter?! Man, fuck this shit.
1. Just Giving Up. Yeah, that’s more like it.
Nicholas Tillinghast/The Miscellany News.
The ramifications of Project 2025’s looming book bans
Catherine McCarthy Guest Columnist
Since its initial publication in early 2023, the Heritage Foundation’s Project 2025 has been looming over the heads of millions of Americans like a dark cloud. Although Donald Trump has technically disavowed the mission, now over two months since his second inauguration, that storm has broken. Goal after goal is being enacted by the Trump administration, leaving those millions of Americans who were dreading the storm to get soaked.
One chilling proposal of Project 2025 involves making the expansion of book banning efforts a federal priority. Book bans have existed in the United States for years, but for the most part, they have remained on the local level. Such bans usually revolve around books which depict historical oppression like slavery, racism or white supremacy as well as queerness and gender issues. Therefore, it can be deduced that these book-banning efforts are likely motivated by a desire among conservatives to censor literature that celebrates marginalized identities or brings attention to historical oppression. Although conservatives usually frame book bans around the idea of shielding children from inappropriate subjects, the fact that those subjects almost always have to do with marginalized identities or oppression is telling. This is wrong
Art is a celebration of human creativity, and creativity is derived from the human experience.
on many levels. First of all, preventing books that feature stories of historical oppression from being circulated in schools will prevent children from learning about extremely important topics. The United States is built on a history of brutality, a fact which must never be forgotten. Although we have arguably come a long way, the United States is by no means a utopia. Systemic oppression still runs very deep in the institutions that our country operates on, and only by tracing the origins of that oppression will we be able to dismantle them. Banning books that depict that history directly perpetuates the same oppressive institutions that the books are trying to fight, and only by knowing the horrors of history can we prevent the past from repeating itself. Today’s children are tomorrow’s leaders, so it is absolutely imperative that they are educated on the history that has preceded their lives. All children deserve to see themselves reflected in literature. In fact, such a thing can be instrumental to a child’s development and coming into their identity as an individual. At the very least, I know that this was the case for myself. Simply put, I would not be the person I am today without the books I read as I was growing up, and I would not have had access to many of those books without my school libraries. I have memories of reading passages in middle grade novels that validated experiences I had been having that made me feel totally alone. Those books helped me realize that I was not, and allowed me to pursue my own journey of self-discovery with much more confidence. Since the majority of book bans center around issues linked to marginalized groups, children who are part of those groups deserve to see themselves in literature the way I did when I was young-
er. Increased bans would prevent such children from having that opportunity, a denial which is completely unfair and cruel. On a more individual level, banning books that feature marginalized characters will discourage children from learning about identities (whether racial, gender or
Simply put, I would not be the person I am today without the books I read as I was growing up, and I would not have had access to many of those books without my school libraries.
sexual) that may differ from their own, especially since book bans are more prevalent in conservative states where such exposure might be less likely to come about without problematic biases. Rather, children will be influenced by the views of the adults around them, which, in areas where books like “To Kill A Mockingbird” and “Of Mice and Men” are banned due to depictions of racism or “All Boys Aren’t Blue” and “This Book is Gay” due to LGBTQ+ content, are far more likely to exacerbate the very sentiments that many such books are attempting to combat. Children must be given the opportunity to form their own opinions about the world around them, and they should be allowed to do so without censorship. It is no coincidence that more concentrated, diverse urban areas tend to lean more liberal than spread-out rural areas.
If the access to books that can aid them in doing so is denied on a large scale, children will be left far more vulnerable to the influence of harmful rhetoric about marginalized groups and the motivation for change in younger generations will fade. This is exactly what the conservatives behind Project 2025 want.
Art is a celebration of human creativity, and creativity is derived from the human experience. Authors are artists who aspire to take that experience and turn it into a thing of beauty and make their living off of that practice, and they deserve the chance to do that. If, however, book bans become more widespread on a federal level, authors will suffer greatly. As modern society is increasingly altered by technological advancements, creative jobs overall have been coming under more and more scrutiny in terms of being considered viable careers. In the face of this, it is imperative that we fight every threat to creative art that arises, because a society without art is a possibility that I and millions of Americans never want to see.
George Orwell’s “Animal Farm” has been banned in various countries over the years, due to its depiction of totalitarianism as a cautionary tale. The irony of this should be unspoken, for banning books at all is not dissimilar to harshly oppressive totalitarian governments that restrict freedom of expression from their people. Although the novel is not banned on a large scale in the United States as of this moment, it does not seem far-fetched to suggest that such a movement could be coming under the presidency of Donald Trump. In fact, the story holds more weight in America now than it ever has before, for our country appears to be headed down an eerily similar path if things do not change.
Since when was immigration a bad thing?
Jacob Cifuentes Guest Columnist
If you have been paying any attention to American politics, you will have heard a bit about “securing the southern border.” Both major candidates during the last election cycle touted it in their nomination speeches, and it has been a staple of the Trump campaign since President Trump’s entrance into the 2016 election, blaming Mexico for sending “not the right people.” According to a Gallup poll, over half of Americans support deporting all so-called “illegal” immigrants and just under half of Republican voters advocate for allowing those here illegally to attain citizenship. According to AP-NORC, MAGA conservatives often cite abuse of welfare programs, illegal voting and general crime increase as reasons why undocumented immigrants should be deported and the barriers of entry into the country should be fortified. Despite PNAS research finding that undocumented immigrants do not commit more crime than either native-born Americans or legal immigrants. Where, then, does this anxiety and hate come from? Most Americans likely do not read studies and statistics about the reality of immigration but it is clear that there is a disposition among many conservatives that immigrants crossing the border are not as human as Americans.
I am not implying that MAGA supporters believe in some sort of conspiracy theory that immigrants are actually aliens or lizards or anything like that. I am pointing to an anti-foreigner chauvinism in American political culture. Chauvinism is a sort of catch-all
belief for notions of supremacy of one group over another. It does not just have simple biases, it has a stance that groups of people have inherent characteristics that place them somewhere on a hierarchy of human value. This sentiment allows the United States to continue its imperialist projects. Instead of the MAGA-minded, including the President, attempting to understand why immigrants flee from their homes, they label people as “bad hombres” who come here to commit violent crime. They ignore that many of the people they ridicule flee due to the threat of gang violence and economic instability due to the United States’ sanctions on countries, such as Venezuela. One may pin this sentiment on cognitive dissonance and some on right-wing media brainwashing, but I think that this xenophobic chauvinism is a symptom of fundamental ignorance.
Firstly, illegal entry is a misdemeanor. It is not a felony, and perpetrators can only face up to six months in prison. Many undocumented immigrants enter legally but overstay their tourist visas, but doing so is also not a federal crime. Elon Musk, a prominent ally to Trump’s Administration, was one of such visa overstayers in the ’90s. On top of all that, as stated before, immigrant populations commit less crime and do not increase the crime rate. Personally, I do not see a clear line of reasoning for why illegal immigration is a morally bad action in of itself, especially an action that would require one to be shipped to a detention center and then be deported. Clearly, the federal government somewhat agrees with me on this stance; if it did not, the ramifications for illegal entry would be much
more severe. So now that the largest fears of the MAGA hive-mind have been debunked, what is left? A distaste for immigrants. The chauvinism outlined may stem from misinformation campaigns or a lack of knowledge of the facts around immigration, but I think it stems from the way we view our country as the pinnacle of humanity. The perceived hierarchy mirrors the actual wealth distribution of nations, where the United States is standing at the top while developing countries crawl at the bottom. The Trump Administration enforces this supremacist framework through its treatment of USAID (United States Agency for International Development), with Trump insulting many African countries and peoples during his speech in early March.
We overlook others based on their nationalities, races, religions and languages, and it is not out of a recognition of cultural differences across borders. Mexicans are the literal neighbors of many MAGA-minded people, yet that proximity does not matter in affecting their xenophobia. What many Americans—most of whom are the descendants of immigrants— ironically do not understand is that all people around the world are just like us. They have aspirations and aversions and like to eat their favorite foods and enjoy some movies over others. They have families they take care of and gods that they worship. They have music they put on repeat and are fanatical about sports. There is no hierarchy of humanity because we are as equal as we are diverse. If you compare the life of a Wall Street stockbroker and a Bedouin pastoralist, the details of their experiences will be wildly different. They do, however, have the same intrinsic
marks of humanity that exist throughout the world and its histories. Why would we, as a nation, not want to celebrate that anymore? We should be welcoming the diverse huddled masses and let them partake in the wealth that we have stolen from them. It may be one of the most disgusting disrespects for our country to destabilize, invade and ransack societies on almost every continent—Mexico, Iraq and Venezuela, to name a few—and then turn around and not allow those we have systematically harmed to be welcomed into our imperial core.
My central message here: Foreigners are people too and we need to change our outlook on that matter. A marine veteran named Mac McKinney from Muncie, Indiana, once planned to bomb an Islamic Center from his misunderstanding and hatred towards Muslims. He decided to walk in the center and ask a man to teach him about the Quran, and he became the president of said Islamic Center for two years and is now a motivational speaker against hate. There is an amazing documentary about his story on YouTube. Transformation must happen to rid ourselves of the ignorance that plagues our hearts and minds, and this radical transformation is possible. We are not condemned to view others as lesser, but we are held down by those views.
There is no hierarchy of humanity because we are as equal as we are diverse.
Capitulating to Russia will not lead to peace
Ian Watanabe Columnist
Over the past few months, American foreign policy has been turning away from assisting Ukraine in its war against the Russian invasion. As the full-scale conflict reached its third year, President Donald Trump showed eagerness to end the fighting by forcing Ukraine to cede occupied territory. The U.S. President and his VP Vance berated Ukraine’s President Zelensky in a televised meeting to the embarrassment of many. Initially freezing aid to Ukraine, the United States has resumed it on the condition that the besieged country agrees to a 30-day ceasefire with Russia. Russia refused a total ceasefire, instead bargaining down to a ceasefire on energy infrastructure. It seems that Putin is setting
“The troops in Donbas were concealed as a separatist movement when in reality it was an invasion—a tactic Russia uses time after time.”
the pace much more than Trump or Zelensky is in these peace talks.
While the Republican-led U.S. government has been moving toward a peace deal without Kyiv, it strikes me that they are able to frame it as a peace process. Many politicians before, during and after the election have tried to paint themselves as isolationists—even if they still support funding to Taiwan and Israel—who are trying to prevent wider warfare. In public discourse, many feel that continued support for Ukraine will lead to escalation into broader conflict. But a peace that gives concessions to Russia at Ukraine’s expense will not reduce the risk of war in the future. In
fact, there is evidence that it would empower Russia’s military expansionism.
First, Putin has shown interest in invading or influencing other countries besides Ukraine. Before Ukraine, he invaded Georgia in 2008 under the guise of securing the interests of the breakaway states Abkhazia and South Ossetia. While the fighting itself lasted only five days, Russian troops remained in the breakaway regions. According to the Center for Strategic and International Studies, the troops move the fences—and therefore the borders—of the breakaway states incrementally so that Georgia slowly loses land. Meanwhile, the current government, which is pro-Russian, continues to rig elections so they win against pro-EU parties. Essentially, the Russian state has the means and motivation to launch direct and indirect takeovers in other post-Soviet countries.
Putin has run an extensive propaganda campaign to ensure the population supports his war. The Russian media has cultivated nationalism in his country in many different ways. According to Reuters, he has collaborated with the Orthodox Church to cast the invasion and the government as divine. He has promoted Russia as a bastion of traditional masculinity. The viral photo of shirtless Putin was a deliberate PR stunt for this. Finally, he demonizes the West as a place where conservative family norms are attacked. Homophobia plays an outsized role in Russia’s wartime propaganda. The Russian propaganda apparatus has referred to EU countries as “Gayrope” and claim gay marriage is forced on people. This rhetoric may sound like middle school bullying, but the claims are often accepted as fact. Putin is famous for justifying his invasion by claiming that the Ukrainian government was propped up by neo-Nazis. However, sociologist Cinzia Solari points out that Russian media sources also used images of Ukrainian drag queens to turn people against the country. I’ve seen the hatred of outsiders used to bolster nationalism.
It works precisely because it is outrageous. If a person has it in their head that their hatred is justified, they often take joy in expressing it in extremes. Other citizens in Russia see the contradictions in this propaganda, which is when the government uses its final tool: the police. Amnesty International states that in 2022 alone, 21,000 anti-war and anti-Putin activists, up to and including jail. By watering seeds of nationalist bigotry and weeding out dissent, Putin has cultivated a population that is either apathetic or supportive toward the invasion.
Finally, surrender to Russia will invite larger invasions in the future. This claim is not just speculation. In 2014, Russia used unmarked troops to annex the Crimea region, prompting American and European leaders to impose economic sanctions but give no military aid. According to The Hill, Russia was undeterred. It went on to back rebel groups in the Eastern Donbas region and then launched its full scale military invasion in 2022. Appeasement has only led to Putin taking greater action against his neighbors.
Valerie Malykhina ’25 lived in Donetsk before it was seized by Russian-backed separatists. “The troops in Donbas were concealed as a separatist movement when in reality it was an invasion—a tactic Russia uses time after time.” Russia has concealed military actions by exploiting unofficial loopholes and using different labels. I would argue that this worked. The Russian and Russian-allied militaries have been on Ukrainian soil since 2014, and yet the invasion has only been recognized by the mainstream media during the dramatic full-scale invasion.
While Malykhina has not lived in the region since 2019, people, including her family members, face hardships under the occupation. “They have water once every three days, they get propaganda on their television 24/7. We don’t talk about anything but the weather and how my grandma’s cat is doing, because any other topic
could lead to heated discussion, because that’s all the information they get. There’s no qualified doctors. I met a woman whose grandparents lived in an occupied community and they got covid. She went to take care of them, and she couldn’t find basic medication. This was 2021, before the fullscale invasion.”
Valerie traveled back to unoccupied Ukraine this summer and worked in Lviv at a trauma rehabilitation facility. While Lviv itself is far from the front line, ambulances carrying wounded soldiers to overwhelmed hospitals drive the streets every day, and the residents live through air raids and power outages. “I think a general understanding of what peace would look like is a strong Ukraine, particularly support from our allies, not just sanctions, but support investigating Russian war crimes,
Putin has run an extensive propaganda campaign to ensure the population supports his war.
support with defense supplies. For Ukraine to have the capacity to protect itself and thrive economically, which requires people to go back to their daily lives.” Valerie cares particularly about the medical system and mental health system, which is overburdened and undersupplied. She urges Vassar students to donate funds for medical supplies, stay up to date on the news, and be vigilant about Russian influence and disinformation in our discourse.
My takeaway from talking to Valerie is that peace is badly needed. But the conditions of Russian aggression and occupation do not give Ukraine the safety it needs for lasting peace. Ceding land and protection from Ukraine will leave the country vulnerable, while Russia will retain its appetite for conquest.
Examining the White House’s war with AP
Jake Schachter Guest Columnist
During the first press conference of President Donald Trump’s second term, I found it surprising when press secretary Karoline Leavitt opened the floor to questions and offered the first to recently founded website, Axios rather than The Associated Press (AP). During a President’s first press conference, the first question typically goes to The Associated Press as the news organization has been historically viewed as an unbiased source. Even during Trump’s first term, President Trump did not pick a fight with AP compared to other major news organizations. By choosing Axios first, however, the Trump Administration was clear in its intent to undermine the “factuality” and prestige associated with AP and was the public start of its “war” against the news organization.
To understand why the White House decided to go to war with AP, one must understand the historical role of AP in the news industry. Founded in 1846, AP is viewed as the end-all be-all-decider of truth in reporting. It has one of the most reputable brands in journalism, so much so that no other news source usually calls the U.S. presidential election before AP. In addition to its news coverage, the AP Stylebook is used by
other news organizations such as (as well as private companies and Non Government Organizations) as the standard for grammatical guidelines. Even The Miscellany News uses the AP Stylebook.
Why would the White House pick a fight with AP and bar the organization from its press room? In short, AP reports the facts,
Even The Miscellany News uses the AP Stylebook.
and when you look at the actions of the Trump administration factually, it is not a pretty picture. The President’s defense of factual reporting has typically been “FAKE NEWS,” and to his credit, sometimes he is right. I do believe that the left-leaning media, like CNN and The New York Times, is very harsh on him and does not give him a fair shot, critiquing rather than explaining his policy in its news sections. But, the difference between these organizations and AP is that the latter will report facts, not analyze them, allowing the reader to come to their own conclusions. By fact, I simply mean what has happened and its implications. Nothing more or less.
This dispute between the two was put on
full display with the showdown between two entities over a naming dispute regarding the body of water off the Gulf Coast. At the start of his second term, President Trump renamed the body of water to the “Gulf of America” as he believed it would boost national pride. The President’s decree, however, only applies to the United States, not the world, which recognizes the body as the “Gulf of Mexico.”
Almost immediately, many news organizations changed the name of the gulf. AP, however, is not just an American-focused news organization, it is international. Therefore, it makes sense that they would not change the name of an international body of water that most of the world recognizes as the “Gulf of Mexico.” Had the gulf not been in international waters, AP likely would have adopted the name change, as it did when the White House renamed Mount Denali to Mount McKinley.
The White House was livid when it heard that AP would not change the name and responded by barring AP from the press room, a historically unprecedented move. The White House argues that AP was promoting “Fake News,” and that the body of water is in fact named the “Gulf of America.” AP dissented and refused to change the name and to this day is still barred from the press room. This move caused many critics
to say that the White House is suppressing free press, but I disagree with that. AP is still allowed to operate and publish within the United States, something that would not be possible if they were being suppressed. Technically, it is the White House’s prerogative to choose which news organizations are allowed in the press room. But, just because one has the right to do something does not make it any less controversial. I mean, there is a reason Infowars does not have press access. In actuality, I think this move was done for a more precise reason: to undermine the reputation of AP.
If the President only has left-leaning news organizations who he can decry as “FAKE NEWS,” and right-leaning news organizations who constantly praise him, then who will be left that report the actual news? At the end of the day, someone still needs to report the news, and that someone has usually been AP, but the President wants to change that. The President wants those “nasty” or “great” questions because they make him look like a victim or like a hero, he does not want boring ones which he needs to truly answer. His whole White House relies on keeping up the media circus and if there are factual questions, that throws a wrench in his plans. That is why he got rid of The Associated Press: they are the only “REAL NEWS” left.
The Lakers’ next icon or their biggest gamble?
Holland Kaplan Assistant Design Editor
As a Los Angeles native, I am a huge Lakers fan. Over the years, it has been incredible to witness the highs, lows and everything in between for the purple and gold. This team has been a huge part of my life as a basketball fan. So when the news broke that the Lakers had pulled off one of the most shocking trades in recent history, sending Anthony Davis to Dallas in exchange for Luka Dončić, I was torn between excitement and sheer disbelief.
The blockbuster move sent shockwaves throughout the NBA. The Lakers parted ways with Davis, a defensive cornerstone and beloved franchise icon, along with multiple future draft picks to acquire Dončić, a generational offensive talent still entering his prime. Davis’ departure was driven by his recurring injury concerns, which left the Lakers needing a new centerpiece to build around. The front office took the bold gamble of turning their future over to Dončić, signaling they were all-in on future life post-LeBron James.
Dončić is an undeniable talent. The guy is a walking triple-double and a nightmare for
defenses.But let’s be real, he is a diva. Dončić is a different breed of drama compared to other NBA stars. He whines to refs after every missed call, his body language when he does not get his way is borderline toddler-esque and he has a reputation for not always meshing well with his teammates. Despite all that, it is impossible to ignore what he has done for this team in the month he has been playing.
Since stepping into Showtime, Dončić has been an absolute force of nature. According to the NBA’s statistics, he is averaging 27.4 points, 8.5 rebounds and 7.9 assists per game as of March 22. He is also leading the team in points, rebounds and steals based on the NBA’s stats. His shooting efficiency has been solid, hitting 40.5 percent from the field and 34.2 percent from three-point range. His scoring is elite, and his playmaking has opened up new layers of the Lakers’ offense. Truthfully, LeBron James looks relieved to have someone else running the show. The offense has become a beautifully chaotic masterpiece where Dončić is throwing lobs, faking out defenders and hitting ridiculous step-backs. The Lakers have gone 15-6 since his arrival, propelling them to fourth place in the Western Conference.
Beyond the stats, Dončić’s presence has completely reshaped the Lakers’ play. His ability to facilitate has increased ball movement, freeing up players like Austin Reaves and Jaxson Hayes to step into more defined roles. The Lakers’ offense is more dynamic and faster-paced, with improved assist-to-turnover ratios. Dončić’s impact has been immediate, breathing new life into this team.
But there is a bigger question: Is Luka Dončić too emotional to be the next Lakers superstar? Wilt, Kareem, Magic, Jerry, Shaq, Elgin, Kobe, LeBron... Luka? I am skeptical. Or maybe he is just a reflection of a new era of the NBA?
Historically, Lakers legends have been defined by their unwavering confidence and mental fortitude in high-pressure moments. Kobe Bryant played through injuries that would sideline most players for weeks. Magic Johnson led the team to a championship as a rookie, playing center in the Finals when Kareem Abdul-Jabbar was injured. Luka? He pouts. For example, during the 2024 NBA Finals, Dončić’s constant complaining and visible frustration became a major storyline. Former Mavs player and prominent analyst Tim Legler took to the All NBA podcast point-
ing out his draining body language as a key reason why the Mavericks fell to the Celtics. Instead of rallying his team, his body language and arguments with officials drained momentum at crucial moments. That is not Lakers DNA.
The attitude problem? Yeah, it is still there. The constant arguing with referees, and the exasperated sighs when teammates miss a shot, is all part of the Dončić package. And let us be honest, that stuff was tolerable when he was the lone star in Dallas. But now? Now it matters. Now it affects the Lakers’ chemistry, the flow of the game and their future aspirations. If Dončić wants to be the face of the Lakers post-LeBron, he is going to have to grow up fast.
All that being said, watching Dončić in a Lakers jersey is exhilarating. He is a showman, a phenomenal talent and, for better or worse, our best shot at reclaiming a title. If he can rein in the diva antics, fully buy into the Lakers’ culture and mature into the franchise leader, we might be witnessing the dawn of a new dynasty. But if not? Well, Los Angeles does not have time for anything less than championships. The ball is in your court, Luka Dončić.
Giants move from Judas Zaidi to Buster Posey
As a lifelong Bay Area resident, the San Francisco Giants were my childhood sports idols. Perhaps the most underrated sports dynasty of all time, my Giants racked up three World Series titles in five years from 2010-2014. These championships also happened to coincide with the prime of my baseball career. I absolutely dominated Saratoga Little League with my 55 mph fastball and a fall of the table curveball—one that eventually wrecked my elbow thanks to some pretty bad mechanics. But those 24 inches of negative induced vertical break? Totally worth the tendinitis. Anyways, all this is to say the 2010s Giants dynasty holds a special place in my heart and those of every other Northern Californian baseball player.
Sadly, the past eight years have been the epitome of mediocrity for my favorite ballclub. Apart from a 2021 season that saw the
baseball gods grant Buster Posey one last 107-win season before his early retirement, the Giants have been a below .500 club every single year. Led by Dodgers mole Farhan Zaidi, the Giants have drafted poorly, signed mediocre talent and mismanaged their farm system year after year.
The great year of 2025, however, changed everything as the ownership finally fired Zaidi. The Giants had originally hired Zaidi from the Dodgers. So, when Zaidi wasted no time and went straight back to LA to work for the Dodgers again this year, many hypothesized he had been a Dodgers’ agent all along, working to sabotage them from the inside.
The Giants, in turn, seemed to learn their lesson. Rather than poach talent from their arch-rivals, they hired a true Bay Area sports icon as their new President of Baseball Operations: Buster Posey. A former MVP, three time World Series Champion, Comeback Player of the Year, Rookie of the Year, Gold Glover, five time Silver Slugger,
seven time All-Star, future first-ballot Hall of Famer and widely regarded as the greatest catcher of the 21st century—he is also the namesake of my dog Buster. With the exiting of Judas Zaidi and the introduction of Buster Posey, the Giants hope to turn a leaf to a new, winning era of Giants baseball.
Posey wasted no time making his mark this offseason. As a former teammate of arguably the greatest infield core of the 2010s, he prioritized locking down All-Star-caliber talent in the infield. After a 27-homer, Gold Glove season, Posey rewarded third baseman Matt Chapman with a hefty six-year, $150 million extension.
Next, he moved quickly to land big-fish free agent shortstop Willy Adames, signing him to a seven-year, $180 million deal early in the offseason. By acting fast, Posey avoided the artificial contract inflation that could have followed the Juan Soto signing, as well as any potential training camp drama like the Giants faced with their late Blake Snell deal last year.
Posey’s final major move was signing 42-year-old Justin Verlander to a one-year, $15 million guaranteed contract. While this might have been an overpay, it was a necessary one. Verlander is undoubtedly one of the greatest pitchers of his generation, but age is catching up with him. He spent most of last season sidelined by injury and posted an earned run average in the mid-5s when healthy.
Still, given the Giants’ young and uncertain rotation, Verlander’s presence could prove invaluable. Ideally, he will serve as both a player and mentor, guiding the team’s young arms while bringing veteran leadership and winning habits to the clubhouse.
As Spring Training approaches, a new ray of hope has broken through the iconic fog of Oracle Park. Buster Posey—a true baseball savant and proven winner—now leads the charge. And for the first time since my Little League days, I have faith in the San Francisco Giants’ front office.
Billy Fan Guest Columnist
Image courtesy of Troutfarm27 via Wikimedia Commons.
Kentucky Derby approaches rapidly
Henry France & Casey McMenamin Sports Editor & Assistant Sports Editor
The 150th running of the Kentucky Derby was one of the most electrifying races in the Derby’s history. Coming down to a suspenseful three horse photo-finish, the 2024 Kentucky Derby was also one of the tightest to date: The last time a three horse photo-finish was needed to determine the winner of the Derby was 1947. After minutes of dramatic replay review following the race, the officials finally determined that Ken McPeek’s Mystik Dan had won by a nose, narrowly holding off the late surges of Sierra Leone and Forever Young.
The Kentucky Derby is one of the oldest and most exciting sporting events in the United States, often coined “The Most Exciting Two Minutes in Sports” and “The Run for the Roses”. The winning horse is draped with roses after the victory. The contest is a one-and-a-quarter-mile race on a dirt track
on the first Saturday in May. The event is unique in sports in that only three-yearold horses are eligible for the competition, meaning horses only have one opportunity to win the illustrious race. Succeeded by the Preakness Stakes and Belmont Stakes, the Kentucky Derby is the first of the three Triple Crown races. But the Derby stands above its counterparts. Drawing large grounds of spectators wearing elaborate outfits, the event is truly a spectacle. The race was first run in 1875, along with its sibling race, the Kentucky Oaks. The Derby and Oaks have been run every year since their inception, having been postponed twice—first during World War Il in 1945 and once again during the COVID-19 pandemic in 2020. Despite being delayed within the year, the contests have not missed a year since their birth: The races are the oldest annual major sporting events in the United States that have been held annually since their inception. The Kentucky Derby
has embraced its historic spotlight, being the most-watched and most-attended horse race in the United States.
After a century and a half of fierce competition, the Derby is tee’d up for yet another enthralling race this year. This year, 150,000 spectators are expected to descend upon Churchill Downs, far surpassing the 10,000 spectators at the inaugural Derby in 1875. This remarkable increase in spectators reflects the Derby’s evolution into a global phenomenon accompanied with its own elegant wardrobe, specialty cocktails and most importantly, gambling. The sesquicentennial Derby last year saw a record-shattering 210.7 million dollars wagered on the race.
The favorites for this year’s Derby are two of legendary trainer Bob Baffert’s steeds. Barnes is sitting as the favorite to take the contest at 8-1, with Citizen Bull close behind at 9-1. Both18-month-old colts have been heating up on the Road to
the Kentucky Derby, with Citizen Bull collecting wins at Del Mar and Santa Anita, and Barnes picking up wins at Santa Anita and San Vicente. But everyone loves an underdog story. The 15-1 long shot Burnham Square is quietly turning heads. The threeyear-old colt has finished third or better in four of his last five races, taking home the wreath at the Holy Bull Stakes. Burnham Square is coming off his worst finish of his career with a fourth-place finish at the Fountain of Youth on Mar. 1. This setback will only fuel Burnham Square more as the preparations for the Derby ramp up. Burnham Square has proven that he can run with the best and will be a name to watch come May. As the dramatic events of the Derby near, the most exciting two minutes in sports are sure to be unforgettable this year. New and exciting horses are re-energizing the established contest with a captivating vigor. Do not miss this year’s Kentucky Derby.
Image courtesy of Velo Steve via Wikimedia Commons. Image
Brewers Ballin’: Schoenegge wins second national championship
Our goal with Brewers Ballin’ is to feature Vassar athletes who starred for their team the week previous to publishing. If you would like to nominate an athlete, please email hfrance@vassar.edu.
Brewers Ballin’
Name: Haley Schoenegge
Year: Sophomore
Team: Women’s Cross Country and Track & Field
Stats: Haley Schoenegge ’27 has accomplished many firsts as a Vassar athlete, holding more school records than one can count on a hand. On March 15, 2025, Schoenegge added to her firsts, becoming the first Vassar Brewer to win two National Titles when she won the women’s indoor mile at the NCAA Indoor Track and Field Championships at Nazareth University. Schoenegge posted a time of 4:47.04, a career best and good for the 11th-fastest time in NCAA Division III history. The time was over two seconds faster than the runner up, setting a Nazareth University facility record.
Recently in Vassar Brewers sports
Men’s Volleyball gets back on track
After a painful loss to Hobart, the men’s volleyball team have won three straight games, and all in just three sets.
Women’s Tennis sweeps Bates
The women’s tennis team was dominant, sweeping a solid Bates squad 7-0 over the weekend.
Men’s tennis beats Hobart
The men’s tennis team won a gritty matchup against #37 Hobart in a 5-4 weekend. Joaquin Gil ’28 clinched the match for the Brewers.
Image courtesy of Haley Schoenegge ’27.
Category Match
By Sadie Keesbury
In the word bank below, there are 16 words that belong to four categories. Each word belongs to only one category. You don’t know which words belong together, nor do you know what the categories are! Try to find similarities between them, and place them into four categories below. Answers (which words belong together, as well as the categories they belong to) will be revealed in next week’s issue. Have fun!
Example category: 1: Toyota Car Models COROLLA PRIUS TACOMA HIGHLANDER
“Mini Mingling”
WORD BANK
FRYE CHICKEN NUGGETS PHYLLO BURGER UGG FRY SAUCE COOKIE SAUTÉ BAKE PIZZA FRIES TIMBERLAND SOREL FRIED COOK
By Felix Mundy-Mancino and Theo Burstyn-Paul
Answers to last week’s crossword:
“Non-Negotiable”
By Olivia Blank
Scottish Loch
Black and white and Shamu all over
The Miscellany Crossword Sgt. Puzzles
By: Theo Burstyn-Paul
ACROSS
1. Acquire
5. Boundary allowing carrying on Shabbat in public
9.Largest bone in the body
14. Years in Florence
15. Missouri ex-representative Bush
16. Hello in Maui, scrambled
17. Not nothing
19. One who does crew in a toga?
20. 1960 Hitchcock thriller
21. Son of, in Arabic names
23. Chum
24. Superman villain portrayed by Jesse Eisenberg
25. Improvisation by Yo-Yo Ma
28. Poke bowl tuna
30. Fish-and-chips fish
31. Gut punch reaction
32. Whistle blower? (abbr.)
33. Mathematician Lovelace
34. Miami-to-Orlando dir.
35. Reuben bread
36. With ice cream
38. Inner ear?
41. Duke’s conf.
42. “Honest” Prez
43. “Wherefore ___ thou Romeo?”
44. Pt. of TGIF
45. Yasiin Bey, formerly ___ Def
46. First Nintendo gaming system
47. A warm way to start the day
51. British toilet
53. “I’m so mean, I make medicine sick” boxer
54. “Liquor not provided” for short
55. Pay no attention to 58. ___ dozen
60. Tuesday, on Wednesday
63. Kick out
64. My Chemical Romance fans, say
65. Peace Nobelist Wiesel
66. Mulligans
67. Rapper Flo ___
68. Lairs for bears DOWN
1. Shocked sound
2. There are 10 in a década
3. Personal reflection on past experiences
4. Nephew’s sister
5. Back talk?
6. Investors hope for a large one
7. Final resting place, for some 8. Candlelight ceremony
9. It’s all mine!
10. “Mr. Blue Sky” grp.
11. Lou Bega’s “___ #5”
12. Many an orange and white truck
13. Stranger
18. Text appreciation
22. Light-haired individuals
25. Musical conclusion
26. Sushi appetizer
27. Best if viewed at home (abbr.)
28. Pirate’s cry
29. “Yo!”
30. Turn to stone
36. Tumblers
37. Double-reed woodwind
38. Make out
39. Three are needed to construct a city in Catan
40. “Dynamite” K-pop band
41. Patriots’ org.
47. Bill of “Barry”
48. Popeye’s love interest
49. Shy
50. Lobby
51. Bigger than med.
52. No right ___: road sign
55. “___ trap!”
56. Waterfall?
57. Windows to the soul
59. Environmental prefix
61. Early Beatles record label
62. Ground cover