Misc.10.06.22

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The Miscellany News

Fall elections signal new era

After years of COVID-19 disrupting the election process, Vassar College hoped to return to normalcy in this year’s election cycle. As a means of facilitating this transi tion, the Vassar Board of Elections and Ap pointments (BoEA)—the governing body on all Vassar electoral matters—instituted a significant change in the voting system, which relaxed formerly stringent election policies. An important new aspect of elec tions allows for in-person campaigning in key public areas, namely Gordon Com

mons.

“We can totally see elections shifting from more online-based back to what used to be the norm,” said Chair of the BoEA Rey Claro ’24 in an email correspondence. He added, “We hope that everyone gets a re boot in this election to feel how it normally used to be. That is the main hope—to feel like everything is back to normal!”

The COVID-19 pandemic significantly altered the ability for in-person voting and normal electoral processes, and thus the BoEA hoped to run regular elections this year and a “reboot” for the entire college community. Elections were mostly held online throughout the height of the pan demic, and this year’s elections featured a majority of campaigning which was heartening to the entire community as it signaled a return to normalcy in more as pects of campus life. Every year, the BoEA decides upon a constitutional package with which to base the elections that year, to al low for fairness and efficiency in electoral processes. This year, the changes that have been implemented will only affect spring voting and not this fall's voting cycle. But nevertheless, the BoEA is excited to return the College to pre-COVID-19 routines.

The Miscellany News reached out to all newly-elected officials to look into their plans for the upcoming semester. Here is what some of them said.

See Elections on page 4

Fatal shooting rattles community

[CW: This article mentions gun violence and fatalities as a result of gun violence.]

The last few days have rocked the Vassar community with the news of a shoot ing this past Sunday, Oct. 2, in the lobby of the Courtyard by Marriott in Poughkeep sie. The incident sadly claimed the life of a Marist College student’s father during Vas sar’s and Marist’s families weekends. Offi cers later found bomb-making material in the room and arrested the two men in con nection with the killing, according to The New York Times

Director of Campus Safety Arlene Sabo quickly informed students via email about the incident. “I am writing to inform you of media reports regarding a fatal shooting at a local hotel often utilized by families when visiting area colleges. Police responded to a report of shots fired at a hotel in Poughkeep sie around 7:30 a.m. today. It does not ap pear that anyone related to any Vassar stu dent was injured in the incident, and Town of Poughkeepsie Police have said there is currently no active threat to the public.”

In her weekly Sunday evening email, President Elizabeth Bradley also provided assurance, condolences and resources for students. “It is with a heavy heart that I reflect on the violence in Poughkeepsie to day,” she said. “I have written to the presi dent of Marist and offered any support our

campus can give. It is a devastating tragedy, and our hearts go out to all people affect ed. The Town of Poughkeepsie police have assured the public that there is no ongoing threat to safety. If you need to talk, please reach out to Counseling or others including me. It is an upsetting time.”

In a written correspondence, Sabo stated, “The College and the Town of Poughkeepsie Police Department have long worked to gether to help ensure the safety of the Vassar community and the department is commit ted to keeping us informed of any on-going threat to our campus. We have formal and informal channels that the Town would uti lize if such a threat were to exist.”

The news reinvigorated conversation over Safety and Security’s false report of an active shooter on campus over the summer. The Miscellany News asked Sabo about what steps were taken to prevent more false alarms and ensure accuracy in the reporting of threats to campus safety. “Minutes later [after the false report] a second message was sent alerting the campus of the error,” she said, later adding, “Testing the system daily is part of the Campus Response Center du ties and the incorrect alert was accidentally chosen and accidentally sent out.”

Regarding Sunday’s incident, she added: “The report was called in by witnesses and the police were dispatched to the location to confirm/respond. If such an event were

Students show URSI research

Conversations about moth-catching spi ders, webcam eye-tracking software and more filled the buzz of the College Center last Wednesday, Sept. 28. Students, faculty and numerous other members of the Vassar community weaved through the second floor, milling around the vari ous posters scattered throughout the space. This marked the 37th annual symposium highlighting the student work that resulted from this year’s Undergraduate Research Summer Institute (URSI).

This year, more than 100 students and faculty participated in URSI, working to gether to explore and engage in hands-on research in various fields of study, such as biology, math, anthropology and more. All of their work came to fruition in this sym posium that allowed students to present posters detailing their research and find ings from their endeavors.

The event started off with introductions from Benjamin Lotto, the Director of URSI and Professor of Mathematics and Statis tics.

“It was an honor and a privilege to oversee URSI, which has been part of Vassar’s life

Rap duo delivers at ViCE concert

Last Thursday, I had the pleasure of at tending ViCE’s first concert of the year, a performance by rap duo Armand Hammer. The group consists of NYC-based rappers billy woods and ELUCID, familiar names for those who follow the city’s alternative hip-hop scene. As a fan of their 2021 al bum “Haram” and billy wood’s solo release

“Aethiopes,” I was thrilled by the show’s announcement and the chance to delve further into their music, this time in a live setting.

The duo’s songs make impressive use of sampling, encompassing a unique range of styles often informed by both abstract and East-Coast hip-hop styles. Best described as passionate, political, introspective and thoroughly poetic in form, Armand Ham mer’s music draws on a range of influences that are hard to pin down but culminates in its own distinctive voice. Throughout the week I listened to more and more of the group’s material, exploring areas of its dis cography which was previously unknown to me. I was gearing myself up for the con cert, growing evermore enthralled at the prospect of listening to their music in per son.

On Thursday, Sept. 29, a solid turnout had gathered in the warm, crowded Mug,

patiently awaiting the first ViCE show of the 2022-2023 school year. I slowly worked my way toward the front left of the crowd, positioned to take in the concert as best I could. The show opened with an hour-long DJ set before transitioning into Armand Hammer’s performance. ELUCID began the show with a solo track, delivering bars with precise punctuality and amazing stage ener gy. His rapping was especially skillful for a live setting, staying true to the tracks’ com plex lyrics. Shortly thereafter, billy woods entered through a door behind The Mug’s stage and joined his other half, requesting at the end of the song to blur any photos of his face posted online. ELUCID was decked out in a Raiders Bo Jackson jersey, whereas woods wore an Armand Hammer sweat shirt in the style of a collegiate seal (which was quickly removed due to The Mug’s hu mid atmosphere).

From there the show pressed on, featuring a mix of collaborative songs and solo tracks. “Asylum” was woods’ first pick for a solo track, heavy bass and blaring saxophone playing out of the speakers directly to my left. His rapping was equally as outstanding as ELUCID's, diving into his material with unending enthusiasm. Oftentimes, the duo would back up one another on their solo works, serving as each other’s hype men and doubling their partner’s lines. Another

Cherry Glazerr sound evolves

[CW: This article contains mentions of sex ual assault.]

What band could seamlessly combine gritty guitar, languid vocals and synth-oriented electronic elements? Why, none other than Cherry Glazerr. The band is currently made up of only three members, frontwoman Clementine Creevy, Tabor Al len on drums and Sami Perez on bass. They are not your typical indie garage rock group; their sound is an eclectic and unique amalga mation of alternative, punk and most recent ly, electronic influences.

Creevy, a Los Angeles native, began re leasing music in 2012 at the age of 15 and hasn’t slowed down since, according to All Music. Around a year prior to forming Cher ry Glazerr, Creevy released solo music on SoundCloud under the name “Clembutt.”

With the help of fellow Los Angeles mu sicians Hannah Uribe, Sophia Muller and Sean Redman, she formed Cherry Glazerr in 2013. While the band’s sound has developed from mellow and at times timid indie rock, to bombastic punky art-rock, to electronical ly surged alternative jams, there is no ques

Guest Columnist

Wood

Columnist Nick Villamil docu ments the return of Vassar Athletics Day of Giving

See URSI on page 5
See ViCE on page 6
News Editor, Guest Reporter
Image courtesy of Vassar VSA via Twitter.
See Cherry on page 8
Sophia
spotlights a family-run, pickyour-own farm in the Dutchess County. 9 FEATURES Inside this issue
after a brief hiatus due to COVID. 6 ARTS Author Brenda Shaughnessy discusses writing and poetic inspiration at Elizabeth Bishop Lecture. 15 SPORTS Vassar College’s student newspaper of record since 1866
miscellanynews.org October 6, 2022 Volume 158 | Issue 6 See Shooting on page 3

THE MISCELLANY

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

Leila Raines

Nina Ajemian

Monika Sweeney

Janet Song Annabelle Wang

NEWS EDITORS

Jacques Abou-Rizk

Will Sorge

Ganesh Pillai

Kai Speirs

Ben Fikhman Sufana Noorwez

Madi Donat

Nicholas Tillinghast Doug Cobb

Tracy Cen

Maryam Bacchus

Jacqueline Gill Sashinka Poor

ASSISTANT

VIDEO PRODUCTION MANAGER

Charlotte Robertson Karen Mogami Seowan Back Tori Kim Ian Herz

Rohan Dutta Chloe Gjoka Phoebe DiLeo Ruby Funfrock

Carly D’Antonio Arlene Chen Katie Gebbia Anna Kozloski Gwen Ma

COPY STAFF

Jyotsna Naidu Sam Patz Danielle Recco Naima Saini Anna Terry Nick Villamil Anica Acuna Simon Goldsmith Glenna Gomez Caris Lee

CORRECTION

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
NEWS Graphic courtesy of Sandro Luis Lorenzo ’24. The Miscellany News is not responsible for the views presented within its Opinions pages. Staff editorials are the only articles that reflect the opinion of a two-thirds majority of the Editorial Board.
POLICY The Miscellany News will only accept corrections for any misquotes, misrepresentations or factual errors for an article within the semester it is printed.
MANAGING EDITOR SENIOR EDITOR CONTRIBUTING EDITORS
ARTS EDITOR FEATURES EDITOR OPINIONS EDITOR ASSISTANT OPINIONS EDITOR HUMOR EDITOR ASSISTANT HUMOR EDITOR SPORTS EDITOR SOCIAL MEDIA EDITOR DESIGN EDITOR COPY EDITORS
COPY EDITOR GRAPHICS EDITOR GRAPHIC ARTISTS
WEBMASTERS BUSINESS MANAGER DESIGN STAFF REPORTERS, COLUMNISTS
October 6, 2022Page 2

Fatal shooting claims life of Marist parent at Poughkeepsie hotel

to occur on our campus, we too would reach out to the police to respond and pro vide appropriate follow up action/investi gation. Campus Safety would send out an emergency communication and work with campus partners to provide continuing no tifications/directions as appropriate.” She continued: “Our immediate goals in such an incident would be to direct emergency re sponders to the incident location, keep peo ple out of danger and away from the scene, and contribute to investigative efforts as necessary.”

Sufana Noorwez ’25 [Disclaimer: Noor wez is Opinions Editor for The Miscellany News], who was on campus for this sum mer’s false alarm, shared her thoughts on

that incident as well as Sunday’s. “It was definitely disquieting to wake up to a notifi cation about an active shooter on campus,” she said, adding, “[B]ut I'm glad that we got quick follow-up once the College realized their error.”

Noorwez expressed consternation that the most recent alert was relayed so long after the incident occured. “It's always good to know what protocols the College has in place if an event like that does happen, but I wonder how far off campus an event needs to happen in order for us to be alerted im mediately about it.”

She went on: “Receiving the email hours after the incident happened, and hours af ter people started talking about it on social media definitely felt like a little bit too late,

especially considering how close to cam pus this happened, and the fact that many Vassar parents were staying at the hotel for Families Weekend.”

These incidents have occured in the wider context of elevated violent crime rates and gun violence nationwide. Asked about the broader implications of the shootings, Sabo responded, “This incident is an unfortunate reminder of the prevalence of gun violence and that we are not immune from experi encing these incidents, just as the rest of the nation.”

Alisha Gupta ’23 recalled how she felt the moment she first heard of the shooting: “I first heard about it through the email Vassar sent, and it freaked me out because it’s al ways been my biggest fear coming to Amer

ica, but at least before I could say that it was far away…I was also annoyed they didn’t say the name of the hotel ‘cause I feel like we de serve to know, and I found out it was where my brother stayed when he visited me, and I pretty much shut down for the rest of the night.”

When asked what protocols might make her feel safer, Gupta replied, “I guess I per sonally don’t even know what our drill is as a school, so that would be a start. I have no idea how this can be controlled though, and it’s not really Vassar’s fault, as it’s more the laws in place…we just need to try to sur vive.”

Feigen ’77 discusses life work during AAVC award ceremony

Feminist activist Brenda Feigen ’66 received the Alumnae/i Association of Vassar Col lege (AAVC) 2022 Spirit of Vassar Award for her achievements this past Thursday, Sept. 29. The Award is presented to an alumnae/i who has demonstrated extraordinary and dis tinguished leadership, contribution and com mitment to serving a community in which they affect positive, transformative societal change, according to the Vassar website.

Feigen’s interview with President of the AAVC Monica Vachher ’77 preceded the award ceremony and took place before a live audience in Rockefeller Hall as well as for hundreds of virtual viewers through Zoom. “We learn to be visionaries at Vassar,” Feigen commented during the interview, fondly re calling her years at Vassar and the opportu nities that the College offered her, including a summer internship in Washington D.C. where she worked on the 18-year-old vote amendment. Olga Latoussaki ’26 who attend ed the event, remarked, “She went from this Vassar bubble to becoming such an influen tial figure.”

Feigen graduated from Harvard Law School and began her prominent career as an attorney, working side-by-side with fem inist icons such as Gloria Steinem. In their first correspondence, Feigen reached out to Steinem and asked her to testify for the Equal Rights Amendment, but Steinem only agreed after Feigen wrote the testimony for her. Feigen and Steinem later contacted all of the female journalists and authors that they knew throughout New York City, which led to the creation of the magazine Ms.—a nation wide American-feminist magazine founded in 1971.

Feigen also worked closely with Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg, and to gether they tackled major feminist move ments involving Title IX, the Virginia Military Institue case (which addressed inequalities in the Virginia Military) and the American Civ il Liberties Union’s Women’s Rights Project (ACLU). The audience expressed fascination at their relationship, and one student asked Feigen why Ginsburg didn’t retire under the Obama administration. Feigen responded that she wasn’t surprised that RBG retained her position as a justice until her death. She said, “[In RBG’s mind,] everything was tuned into law, into discrimination…Her whole life was the Court. There was no real Ruth with out that.”

Feigen also noted that she and Ginsberg were not involved in the original 1973 ruling of Roe v. Wade, but she had much to say about its overturning: “It puts women in a position where we’re powerless again.” She claimed

that the seizure of abortion rights is a call to action and fears that this is just the beginning of an era of terminated rights. When asked what students can do in response to the over turn, Feigen had three suggestions: boycott states where abortion is banned, reach out to the women and men living in Arizona and vote. Latoussakis noted, “It really provoked me to think more about the history of abor tion and how much more there is to learn.”

During the conversation, Feigen also intro duced her own structural model of feminism. She explained that feminism is like a wheel with 12 spokes, each representing a facet of social activism including antiracism, immi gration rights, disability, climate change and LGBTQ rights. “We’ve got to look at the whole

picture,” she said. “You have to believe in all of these things to be a feminist.” Feigen admit ted that it took her a while to grasp all of these interlocking issues, but she believes that the new generation is more aware: “The burden is on young people.”

The conversation left Vassar students and other listeners with much to contemplate. When asked why it is important for speak ers such as Feigen to come to campus, Luke Jenkins ’26 responded, “It helps you connect to what happens after Vassar. People from here have done great things and you can too.”

Professor and Director of the Women, Fem inist and Queer Studies Department Paulina Bren, said in an email correspondence, “The fact that we have so many alums who played

a part in America's history of feminism is re markable. Feigen was one of the key players in the second-wave Women's Movement, and while feminism has definitely evolved since the '60s and '70s to encompass a variety of people and concerns, and we might not all agree on everything, as Feigen said, we can agree that women remain under attack.” She added, “I think she did a great job of painting a picture of how it was, especially at this time when so many legislators and courts are try ing to turn back the clock.”

Feigen has, without a doubt, helped shift the trajectory of the Women’s Movement, and her work will be remembered for decades to come inside and outside the Vassar com munity.

Additional reporting by Nina Ajemi an.
Page 3NEWS MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE October 6, 2022
Continued from Shooting on page 1
Emma Raff Guest Reporter Ganesh Pillai/The Miscellany
News.
Ganesh Pillai/The Miscellany News.

Student Athlete Representative: Is abella Tawney (she/her)

I took a large role in student govern ment in highschool and decided that I wasn't going to run for anything in col lege. Upon getting onto campus, howev er, I began to miss the connection I had with all the other students, and one of the hardest parts of the transition for me into college was now being a com mitted student athlete. While I'd like to be like everything was all sunshine and rainbows, as many know I'm a strong supporter of rainbows, it was one of the toughest things I had to deal with while being away from home. It's not solely about the physical toll it takes on your body, but also mentally. While I'm so grateful for this position, I simply want to be a familiar face and someone to lis ten to your stories who can really relate with the words. The countless workouts and conditioning on top of practice and finding time to just breathe can be a lot. No one should feel as though they are alone. I strive to work in an integrated and supportive athletic community, no matter the sport you practice.

Class of 2026 Senator: Darianna Reyes Marquez (she/they)

I plan to convey the needs and wants of first-year students at Vassar to the

best of my abilities by passing legislation that will support the ideals of first-years. I want my peers to see me as someone they can communicate their issues with that they see within the school system as a senator, with the goal of solving these problems, as well as pushing for the needs and wants conveyed to me. I am ac tive in many organizations, such as LSU, Outing Club, debate and more, as well as volunteering in the Poughkeepsie com munity. This allows me to interact with a variety of the Poughkeepsie community and Vassar student body, thus allowing me to represent a large swathe of our Vas sar community.

Class of 2026 Senator: Karolina Naidon (she/her)

With the selection as the Senator of the Class 2026, I would like to focus more on the connection between domestic and international students by facilitating the events dedicated to promoting the inter national community and spirit on cam pus. I would love to contribute to making a space for students with opposite cul tural backgrounds to coexist on campus, encouraging them to leave their comfort able bubbles and explore the new realm.

Despite various ecological policies on campus, I hope to promote deepening awareness of environmental problems and initiate new ones that would help

preserve nature in our community by ap plying the knowledge from my culture.

Moreover, as a researcher from Ukraine, I plan to promote research op portunities on campus and encourage students to participate in these oppor tunities. After all, my main priority is ensuring everyone on campus has a safe space to express their interests and iden tities.

Class of 2026 Senator: Matthew Ta varez (he/him)

Thank you so much for putting your trust in me. I look forward to connect ing with the community and helping you present your bright ideas to people who will listen. I’m motivated to start my work as a senator and ready to push my colleagues as we work towards the never-ending fight, making the student experience fantastic.

Josselyn House First Year Repre sentative: Ulysses Bergel (he/him)

My thoughts are pretty simple regard ing my new role as Josselyn's First Year Representative. My hope is to really fos ter a sense of community and apprecia tion in Josselyn (and hopefully on the broader campus as well) by trying to en courage critique, commentary and open discussion on ways to really make Joss boss. Whether it's the fabled water foun

tain or more interpersonal goals, I hope to provide the voice that my fellow firstyears hope for and deserve.

Lathrop House First Year Repre sentative: Yaksha Gummadapu (she/ her)

Thank you so much for reaching out. My statement is as follows: As a firstyear, being in a new environment can be daunting. I am passionate about ensuring that Lathrop can serve as a safe haven for all honey badgers going through this nov el experience. Through open hours and community-building activities, I want to create a family for all of us to rely on. With your support, input and feedback I am looking forward to making the tran sition to college life easier for those of us who are new to calling Lathrop “home.”’. Live Lath Love!

Raymond House First Year Repre sentative: Mason Rowe (he/him)

I am honored to be elected as Ray mond's first-year rep. I look forward to voicing the concerns of my fellow Ray monders as I work with the rest of the house team to address specific problems within Raymond, such as the state of the bathrooms. I love Raymond and its com munity, and I believe we can utilize its strength to create a better Raymond. Yar Yar!

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE VSA fall elections results: New VSA members speak on future Page 4 NEWS October 6, 2022 COVID-19 AT VASSAR Image courtesy of The Miscellany News. New Student Cases: — 1 — New Employee Cases: — 4 — Cumulative Employee Cases: — 35 — Cumulative Student Cases: — 162 —
Continued from Elections on page 1 as of Oct. 5, 2022 as of Oct. 5, 2022 Fall semester to date Fall semester to date

URSI symposium celebrates student summer research

blood since 1986,” Lotto commented in an email correspondence. “Watching over 80 URSI student-fellows working full-time, side-by-side with their faculty mentors on cutting edge research in a summer commu nity of researchers is truly impressive.”

The second portion of the event featured poster sessions that spotlighted the individ ual projects that the students engaged in throughout the summer. Attendees could loop around the second floor of the College Center and see the research for themselves. The space brimmed with conversation as students talked about the work they did to passersby.

Among the students who participated in URSI this year, Emma Sagerer ’23 cher ished the time she spent on campus over the summer. “I felt like the community vibes were really strong and everybody was excited to be doing the work they were doing,” she expressed. “I made some amaz ing friends over the summer because we were in such close proximity and on pretty much the same schedules. Plus, the work was really fun, and I was doing what I hope to be doing as a career in the near future.”

Sagerer worked alongside two other stu dents and Professor of Chemistry Joseph Tanski in synthesizing chiral amines, a substance found in many pharmaceuti cals. “I am super proud of all of the results my team was able to get. We synthesized a total of 12 molecules, and were able to crys tallize 5 of them, meaning we could be able to publish those 5 molecules in databases,” Sagerer continued: “I felt like we were real ly working towards something important and useful in a broader sense than just our lab in the Bridge.”

Kali vom Eigen ’23 worked with the Vas sar Grand Challenges program to look at inclusivity in the STEM curricula. Along with eight other students, vom Eigen looked at how barriers (such as hidden curriculum) could hinder the education of disadvantaged students. As vom Eigen summarized, “Hidden curriculum is a term that describes untaught norms, expecta tions and skills that are learned through experiences in higher education, and [are] typically inaccessible to low-income, firstgen, and/or underrepresented minority students. We were trying to learn how hidden curriculum impacts students at Vassar, and how to most effectively reduce

the struggles experienced by disadvantaged students.”

Vom Eigen hopes that the legacy of their summer work continues to shape the fu ture of the Vassar community as a whole.

“I’m hoping our research will actually go places at Vassar, and we’ll see inclusive pro grams and practices implemented some time in the near future. The Transitions research team is also continuing our work and looking into GPA disparities between disadvantaged and non-disadvantaged

students, so I’m really excited to see where that takes them!”

Abby DiNardo ’25, who studied the sta tistical distribution of a family of knots with other members of the Department of Mathematics, expressed similar senti ments on the importance of programs like URSI: “It’s honestly huge that we have a summer research program dedicated to ex posing students to research. That’s part of the reason I came to Vassar. I knew there would be opportunities like URSI that you

just can’t find at bigger schools especially ones with graduate students.”

“Having the opportunity to work fulltime in the lab or field for a summer on cut ting edge research is an opportunity that is simply not available at a large university,” Lotto agreed.

With the commencement of fall—the changing of leaves and the dropping of temperatures—the URSI symposium pro vided a strong conclusion to an eventful, productive summer.

October 6, 2022 NEWS MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE Page 5
Continued from URSI on page 1 Leila Raines/The Miscellany News.
Image courtesy of Kali vom Eigen ’23.

Rap duo Armand Hammer delivers at ViCE concert

one of my favorite tracks from woods was also chosen for performance—the curiously titled “Spongebob.” Opening with a smooth bassline that vibrated throughout The Mug, the song contained many familiar elements of the duo’s style: difficult vocal rhythms, fantastic beats, complicated rhymes with regular references to geopolitical affairs and an intense passion for everything they vocalized. The crowd quickly caught on to the song’s main refrain, shouting, “You promised” in synchronization with woods.

I had been previously unacquainted with ELUCID’s solo songs, but his strong perfor mances and fascinating instrumentation left me with the desire to explore his catalog after the show.

A majority of the night’s tracks were the group’s collaborative work. Standout songs like “Falling Out the Sky” and “Stone fruit” caught the attention of the crowd, performed with virtuosity and zeal rarely found in concert settings. I was once again amazed at how true they were able to stay to their studio recordings, executing their rhymes without hesitation or exhaustion.

My favorite moment came during ELUCID’s verse in “Stonefruit,” proclaiming trium phantly during a beat pause, “I really came in on a cyclone.” The crowd recognized more songs from “Haram,” with the duo’s distinctive vocals and multifaceted verses backed with soaring, lush beats.

The pair would also often pull back the performing energy after their songs to make more casual conversation in front of the audience. They recalled being pulled over on their way to the show due to issues with their car lights and joked about ex haustion from standing so long. Frequent collaborative producer The Alchemist re ceived shoutouts, and woods complimented ELUCID’s work, calling one track his fa vorite song of the year. billy woods also an nounced “Peace to JPEGMAFIA,” and then proceeded to use a beat in the distinct style of JPEG’s production—very likely created by him. This was notable for Nick Tillinghast

’25 [Disclaimer: Tillinghast is the Assistant Humor Editor for The Miscellany News], who attended the show with me. We dis cussed after the show how Armand Ham mer had previously beefed with JPEG over a beat he produced, described by a Genius annotation on the Armand Hammer track “Leopards.” According to Genius, the ELU CID song “Oblivion Reflex” was removed from streaming services, with the lyrics of “Leopard” suggesting that JPEG threat ened legal action regarding its use. The beat was instead reused for IDK’s track “HELLO FREESTYLE (PT.4).” According to New University, JPEGMAFIA’s lyrics on the 2021 album “LP!” clap back at Armand Ham mer, although a message per JPEG’s twitter (retweeted by ELUCID) indicates that the fighting has been resolved for nearly a year, hence woods’ message to the crowd. The duo also responded to an audience mem ber’s demand for Earl Sweatshirt’s track “Tabula Rasa,'' which features guest verses from the duo, stating that if they could re ceive the beat from Earl in time they would perform it, “no joke.” A setlist was present but not strictly followed, with the group bouncing between songs as they wondered aloud on stage which to do next. They went on for about an hour, continuously deliver ing stunning work while maintaining their intense musical vigor.

The crowd was very receptive, offering ap plause, cheers and hoots at the end of every song and occasionally during particularly astounding moments within these tracks.

The previously mentioned audience inter actions were a unique aspect of the show, a connection between viewers and perform ers I don’t always see at concerts. As the show came to a close, the duo thanked the organizers and the audience for their pres ence, exiting the stage as sweaty students emerged from the heat of The Mug. Like others who waited around after the show, I had an opportunity to express my grati tude to woods and ELUCID for the concert on their way out; they responded grateful ly, leaving the College Center after taking a

promotional poster off the wall to keep with them. As an audience member I thoroughly enjoyed the show, singing along whenever possible with a wide grin across my face the entire time. I plan on attending future cam pus shows whenever possible, but it's hard

to believe that any will come close to this experience. If you’re on the hunt for new music, make sure to support Armand Ham mer’s work and check out woods’ and ELU CID’s new 2022 releases, titled “Church” and “I Told Bessie” respectively.

Poet Brenda Shaughnessy speaks at Elizabeth Bishop Reading

“Idon’t want to be surrounded by peo ple. Or even one person. But I/ don’t always want to be alone.” So begins the poem “Identity & Community (There is no “I” in “Sea”)” by Brenda Shaughnessy. The sentiment is simple, but the way she de scribes it is so plaintive yet lovely that hear ing it hooked me from the start. I was first introduced to the poem at this year’s Eliz

abeth Bishop reading on Thursday Sept. 29th, held in Sanders Classroom, where Shaughnessy read from her forthcom ing collection, entitled “New and Selected Poems.” The poet’s seemingly effortless combination of seriousness and whimsy, her imaginative way with words and her charming stage presence made the event an absolute delight to attend.

Professor of English Molly McGlen nen introduced Shaughnessy, speaking about her personal connections to the po et’s work. She detailed Shaughnessy’s ac complishments, including five published books of poetry, several awards nomina tions and her current work with the En glish and Creative Writing Department at Rutgers University-Newark.

“It’s really fall,” Shaughnessy said to the audience when she got to the podium.

“We fell for it. It’s fall.” She proceeded to read “Visitor,” a gorgeous poem that was the perfect introduction for this time of year. “Please come to my house/ lit by leaf light,” Shaughnessy writes, setting the cozy scene. Throughout the poem, her fresh, sincere words had a profound im pact on me, and I scribbled a reminder to myself to find the work later to reread. I especially loved the line, “I was/ hoping to sit with you in a tree house in a/ night gown in a real way.” “Visitor” felt like the

perfect choice to begin with at this time of year.

Many of the poems Shaughnessy read had to do with self-reflection and cap tured specific emotions beautifully. In “I Have a Time Machine,” Shaughnessy uses the idea of past selves to write about her obsession with time travel. In “I’m Over the Moon,” she details anger directed at the moon, creating a powerful emotional experience without letting go of her sig nature humor: “It’s like having a bad boy friend in a good band./ Better off alone.”

The topics of her poems vary—like any good poet, Shaughnessy finds inspiration in unexpected places. In “The Impossible Lesbian Love Object(s),” a commission by the Museum of Modern Art, Shaughnessy writes about Meret Oppenheim’s Object, the first work in the museum created by a woman. The piece is a cup, saucer and spoon all made out of fur. In the poem, Shaughnessy delivers clever musings on queerness, the historical position of women and her own personal and artistic relationship to these concepts: “I too am a mammal stolen from my original sense of thirst./ Women know this disappear ance from meaning.” I really loved the ending of the poem: “The spoon is small,/ the cup, generous,/ the saucer extra ab sorbent—/ past story, beyond end,/ like a

certain kind/ of woman I have been with/ and been.” Most of the work Shaughnessy shared didn’t rhyme, but I thought the slant rhyme in this poem was perfect. Throughout the reading, Shaughnessy told stories about her creative process, shared her opinions on poetry writing and encouraged the audience to pursue their own literary endeavors. “The whole rule of poetry is that it doesn’t write it self,” she said. She explained that her poems usually come out of pared-down free writes or dialogues within the mar gins. When she read her poem “Artless,” Shaughnessy explained that the poem started off badly and only got to its final form after much revision. “It’s so strange to me that we’re pulling writing out of ourselves, and yet we don’t see what it is or know what it is,” she said. “Why can’t we see what’s inside of ourselves?” I think we’re often reminded that all artists still have to revise and edit, and still struggle with their work sometimes, no matter how successful they may be. But it’s still something that’s genuinely important to hear, and Shaughnessy understands this. This event was so wonderful because of the quality of Shaughnessy’s work and the smooth way she read it and it also provid ed a source of inspiration to writers of all ages in the audience.

Page 6 ARTS MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE October 6, 2022
Continued from ViCE on page 1
Image courtesy of Sam Shelly ’26. Image courtesy of Bloodaxe
Books.

New Weezer EP 'Autumn' in 'SZNZ' series disappoints

Did you know Weezer just released a new EP? Did you know Weezer released three EPs in the last year? I didn’t either, de spite the fact that I’ve been on a Weezer kick recently (in related news, my friends have permanently kicked me off the aux cord).

“SZNZ: Autumn,” the latest in Weezer’s SZNZ series, is the third of four EPs the band planned to release in 2022. It was released on the autumnal equinox (“Spring” and “Summer” also dropped on their respective equinoxes) to an indifferent musical world. The overwhelming reaction hasn’t been pos itive or negative; there hasn’t been a reaction at all. A band’s greatest fear isn’t to be hat ed: it’s to be forgotten. That’s a fate Weezer has avoided so far—even at the group’s low est, people were still talking about them. Is “SZNZ: Autumn” a herald of Weezer’s com ing irrelevance? Has Weezer been irrelevant for decades? Say it ain’t so!

“SZNZ” is a weird project: four EPs, each themed to a season and all cumulatively an interpretation of Vivaldi’s “The Four Seasons.” I don’t have the relevant classi cal music expertise to easily compare the two, but I can tell you that the “SZNZ” EPs don’t sound like “The Four Seasons” (they certainly don’t sound like classical master pieces).

The “SZNZ” series is marked by a weird sound—that is, it’s weird precisely because it’s not all that weird. For such an experi mental project, you would think the band would rely a little more on some of the grungy aesthetics they’re known for. In stead, Weezer produces a clipped, pop-y sound that sounds closer to AJR (deroga tory) than it does to the Blue Album. The tone and feel is not exactly unexpected— much of Weezer’s worst projects sound similar—but it’s still disappointing.

The production failures plague all three EPs, suffered especially by “Summer,” is sues that “Autumn” begins to move away from but can’t quite escape. The best-pro duced song on the project is “Run, Raven, Run,” which is the last song on the EP and escapes the pop sound in favor of a more subdued and controlled musicality. Perhaps this bodes well for “Winter,” but standing with the rest of “Autumn,” it’s just a vague hint of an “Autumn” that actu ally engages with its premise and embrac es its fall theme.

“SZNZ: Autumn” is better produced than “Summer,” but not by much. The songs sound plastic and fake, so smooth and di gestible that they completely clash with the more aggressive, emo lyrics. The sty listic choices feel much less clear than they

did in previous SZNZ EPs—it doesn’t par ticularly feel, musically or tonally, like an autumn album. Though I prefer “Autumn” to “Summer,” at least “Summer” has a con sistent sound—even if that sound is “Wee zer (White)” with a crew cut and a 401(k).

“Autumn,” on the other hand, is kind of all over the place. It definitely trends in some sort of direction but right now it feels more like an outtakes EP than a themed piece.

If we’re talking about Weezer, we’ve got to talk about the lyrics. Cringing to Wee zer lyrics is half the fun of listening (Who could forget classic gems like “Who needs stupid books?/ They are for petty crooks” and “My automobile is a piece of crap/ My fashion sense is a little wack?”). Early Wee zer functioned on a razor's edge of angst and oblivious sincerity that’s still hilarious to listen to 20 years later.

Of course, now that the band is all over 50 and well past the age where they should be writing songs called “Get Off On The Pain,” the whiny lyrics are a little less cute. “SZNZ: Autumn" has some lyrics that make me feel genuinely ashamed to be a Weezer fan (though,being a Weezer fan

should always come with some shame).

“Tastes Like Pain” comes with some of the worst of the EP, and maybe Weezer’s entire discography: “I hate me/ I'm loser/ I'm dummkopf/ I'm stupid…forgive me/ I should be castrated.” Maybe someone should check in on Rivers and see if he’s doing OK.

There are sparks here and there, but nothing catches. The aforementioned “Get Off On The Pain” starts strong lyr ically: “The people down the street are packing up/ As if they found a neighbor doing witchcraft/ There isn't anybody I could trust/ So I'm alone, dancing to a click track.” But then the chorus comes in, the chord work becomes generic and the song loses any intrigue it once had.

That’s the feeling of the entire EP—little sparks of talent in an otherwise generic project. It feels like Cuomo put all his cre ative energy into coming up with the idea for “SZNZ,” and not actually making the projects. If there’s one thing I admire about “SZNZ” it’s that it’s conceptually a passion project—why else would someone make it? Nobody was clamoring for a power-pop re

interpretation of “The Seasons.” Weezer’s recent discography includes a cover album nobody asked for, a hard rock album that nobody asked for (It’s called “Van Weezer,” for God’s sake!) and now this “SZNZ” proj ect—which nobody asked for.

Whatever else you can say about Rivers Cuomo and Weezer, you have to admire them for following their bliss. That’s an artistic direction I much prefer to pickme albums like their earlier “Pacific Day dream.” The Weezer of the past five years is firmly rooted in the territory of “guys fucking around and having fun,” which I much prefer to the desperate, cloying al bums that bands past their prime trying to stay popular produce.

Instead of thinking of Weezer as a oncegreat band (or, less generously, a once-OK band) trying to reclaim its former fame, I think we should think of the group as a Gen-X neighborhood garage band, mak ing music for the fun of it. They’re goofing around, they’re trying out new things, and occasionally they’ll make something you want to listen to. But most of the time, it’s bad—harmless fun, but bad.

James Wan's 'Malignant' is a uniquely captivating mystery

and Moss (Michole Briana White). Giving up the goose, so to speak, for the rest of the plot would not do the movie any justice.

[CW: This film contains instances of medical gore, violence and emotional/physical abuse.]

“Malignant,” (2021) directed by James Wan, is far from the Aus tralian director’s first horror film. Known for “Saw,” “Insidious” and “The Conjuring,” Wan has become known for creating pop ular and, quite frankly, terrifying mov ies. “Malignant,” his most recent project, centers on Madison (Annabelle Wallace), a woman who is tormented by a shadowy figure that shows her visions of murder. Helping her sort out the mystery of the kill er’s identity and motives is Madison’s sister, Sydney (Maddie Hasson), Seattle Police De partment detectives Shaw (George Young)

As with my review of “Saint Maud,” watch this one for yourself, and do your best not to spoil it. Every new surprise is worth the wait.

Wan comments in an interview with Collider that he’s gained a reputation for supernatural horror from his work on “The Conjuring” and “Insidious.” As a result, the film is both a return to his horror roots and an attempt to subvert expectations.

During the same interview with Collider, Wan mentions how he draws inspiration from Italian Giallo films, bloody mur der-mystery thrillers that bear strong ties to slasher films. Beyond that, science fiction and psychological thrillers also influenced

the creation of “Malignant.” Certain scenes are even reminiscent of “John Wick” and other action thrillers with, of course, a hor rific twist to them.

Beyond the genre, the less visible com ponents of the film merit a closer look. A movie’s soundtrack can sometimes set the tone of the entire piece, and “Malignant” is no different. In his interview with Col lider, Wan mentions that he treated the soundtrack like an extension of the plot and mystery: it starts out small and grows to augment the climax of the film as the twists begin to reveal themselves. In addi tion, the special effects and choreography of the film are a feat of coordination, involv ing animatronics, casts of actors’ faces and the digital removal of the crew from shots. While sharing details might spoil the film,

there are entire fight scenes shot using a stunt double who was entirely blind and faced backward, which only adds to a sense of mind-bending excitement when seen on screen.

Per ComingSoon and Collider, “Malig nant” initially wrapped production in Dec. 2019, with an intended release date of Aug. 14, 2020. Due to COVID-19, it was pushed back and released both in theaters and on HBO Max on Sept. 10, 2021.

“Malignant” is a truly mind-bending film where nothing is as it seems. With intense action scenes, a captivating mystery, un explainable events and an unconventional villain, the movie is worth looking into. If you have HBO Max and are looking to spend a night asking yourself what’s really going on, then “Malignant” is certainly for you.

Page 7October 6, 2022 ARTS MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
Willem Doherty
Guest Columnist
Image courtesy of Sven Mandel via Wikimedia Commons. Ulysses Bergel Guest Columnist

Schools in Poughkeepsie shed light on community racism

To educate about and dismantle local ra cial educational inequities, Arlington Partners Against Racism (OnPAR) hosted a panel discussion on “Racism and Identity in Dutchess County Schools” at the Vassar Farm on Sept. 21. The panel was the first-in person event held by OnPAR, bringing over 75 attendees in community to build momen tum for OnPAR’s work in Arlington Central School District (ACSD) and beyond.

“It's trailblazing and it's letting parents and other allies know that they don't have to stand for what's going on in their [school] district,” said OnPAR co-founder Nyhisha T. Gibbs, with a Masters in Public Administration useful for management in public and non profit sectors. “You do have a voice and you can use it. We want people in other districts to see what we’re doing in [Arlington] so that they can start their own anti-racism group because it’s happening in so many districts.”

The event began with tabling to network with organizations such as Defense of De mocracy NY, the ALANA Center, Dutchess Pride, the NAACP and more. This was fol lowed by a student performer, Gibbs, who introduced the event and a panel discussion. Panelists included Bilingual Consultant and Dialogue Facilitator Maritza DelRazo; Program Coordinator for CPS’ Supportive Parenting Program Nika Lynch, Clinton Ele mentary School Principal Dr. David A. Scott; and Vassar Professor Kimberly Williams Brown.

“[The panelists] expressed the depths of the problems we are working to fight: speaking to the forms of racism that they have wit

nessed or heard about, what the biggest is sues are contributing to or caused by racism in Dutchess County schools, the role of shar ing stories and how we can heal from racism as we work towards anti-racism, integration and equity,” said Burnam Summer Fellow Sophie Mode ’25, who helped to organize the event. “Once [attendees] see the extent of the problem, they feel that moral obligation to do something about it.”

Afterwards, attendees were split into discussion groups such as “running for the school board” and “disproportionate disci pline,” and were given informational mate rial along with concrete actions to take. Ac cording to Professor Eva Woods Peiró, finding people willing to do this work can be difficult, so this event was critical in mobilizing action.

In 2012, the New York Dignity For All Students Act (DASA) required ACSD to im plement equity work through a consulting company with the input of stakeholders in cluding OnPAR co-founders, parents, Gibbs, Woods and Professor Shona Tucker.

“We've put our kids through this district and we have long been in a kind of silence,” Woods said. “We know what the problems are. We know what we need to do. We just need to do them and it was just not going any where. It was just constant paralysis.”

Several consulting companies, tax dol lars and surveys later, nothing changed for Woods. OnPAR was founded in October 2020 by Gibbs, Woods , Tucker and Professor Ta niesha Means out of the continued racist inci dents and practices at ACSD that culminated in the forceful resignation of former Deputy Superintendent and equity leader Dr. Jona than Brown. Gibbs believes Brown should

have ascended to the vacant Superintendent position.

“This person of color was forced to leave and enough was enough. I just couldn't take it anymore,” Gibbs said.

From their website, “On PAR helps create new and transform old policies, practic es, and structures to ensure that all district members are supported and can thrive. On PAR also works directly with students, teach ers, and administrators across the District to eradicate barriers that impede marginalized members’ well-being and success.”

OnPAR maintains close ties with Arling ton High School (AHS) through its My Broth er’s Keeper (MBK) chapter, a safe space for boys of color founded by the Obama admin istration, and has been asked to consult on various issues.

“It's going to be interesting to see where we land this coming school year because a lot of our demands will have been addressed,” Gibbs said. “Now it's making sure that they maintain them and not doing it to keep us quiet.”

To show the intentionality of discrimina tion rather than simple ignorance, she points towards the MBK chapter of AHS that was left out of the yearbook last year despite her advocacy. Also, despite Gibbs arranging a connection years ago, historically Black col leges are not present at AHS’ college fairs.

“I wonder, when is it ignorance?” Gibbs questioned. “I've offered my services. So now [AHS] can no longer say [they] didn't know. So now that [AHS] didn't do it, I feel like [they’re] ignoring me.”

From these setbacks, Gibbs and Woods emphasize the importance of rela

tionship-building and celebration in the form of storytelling, music, food and being in com munity in OnPAR. Working together to build the event from the ground-up centered joy in challenging work. Gibbs takes inspiration from pioneers like Malcom X, Martin Luther King and Maya Angelou, as well as feeding off the energy of her co-workers and Mode.

“For so long, some of the things that I dealt with as my boys were coming through [ACSD], I felt like I was kind of siloed. It was just only happening to me,” Gibbs said. “It was nice to make that connection to know that this isn't in your mind. It has happened to you and it's happening to other people.”

Woods calls upon Vassar students who live right next to these disparities to break from the Vassar bubble through anti-racist advocacy. For example, students that reside on Vassar’s campus can speak at the public comments section in Arlington Board of Ed ucation meetings.

“The Board of Education listens to young people much more than they listen to older people like us because they know us,” Woods said. “We'll be there and support because we try not to attend the meetings alone.”

To get involved, interested students can contact OnPAR through their website. One attendee, Emma Adams ’25, was inspired to join OnPAR after attending and currently designing an educational packet on housing and education in the local area with specific action items.

“[Vassar students] are always talking about getting involved, but no one knows how,” Adams said. “[The event] was definitely very inspiring [and the panelists’] passion inspired me to get more involved in [OnPAR].”

Cherry Glazerr’s sound continues to evolve, pushes boundaries

tion that its music has always been unique and boundary-pushing.

Creevy has been the only consistent mem ber since the band’s formation in 2013, with five other members drifting in and out from 2013 to 2018, per Last.fm, but the turnover of members has been completely organic. This variety of musicians has enhanced Creevy’s collaborative vision for Cherry Glazerr; she credits having a multitude of talented artists contributing to her project as influencing the band’s ever-changing sound. While the band’s sound has fluctuated throughout the years, Creevy’s leadership has provided the band with stability and an instantly recog nizable quality through each new era.

Creevy hasn’t limited herself to the musi cal realm. In 2013, she modeled for Yves Saint Laurent. In 2014, the brand’s creative direc tor Hedi Slimane commissioned Creevy to write a song for its fall campaign, as reported in TWELV. This seemingly dissonant mashup of indie-rock and high fashion birthed Cherry Glazerr’s most famous song, “Had Ten Dollaz.” This is ironic, considering that while promoting a luxury fashion brand, she repeatedly croons, “Had ten dollars but put it away.” Irony aside, “Had Ten Dollaz” allowed Cherry Glazerr to skyrocket to indie-rock stardom. The bass-fueled and intensity-laced track embodied the first major transition in Cherry Glazerr’s music. The casual and lighthearted sound of Cherry Glazerr’s first album, Papa Cremp, was abandoned for the moody and at times aggressive songs in Haxel Princess, the band’s sophomore album. Nota ble songs, such as the title track “Haxel Prin cess” and “Bloody Bandaid,” feature more pre cise guitar and pointed, calculated, yet often humorous lyrics.

In 2017, Cherry Glazerr released a new album entitled Apocalipstick. Around the

time of release for Apocalipstick, Cherry Glazerr signed to indie rock label Secretly Canadian. Other notable artists under the label, as reported in their signed artists list, include Faye Webster, The Yeah Yeah Yeahs and Skullcrusher. While the sense of humor and quick-wittedness present in Haxel Prin cess lived on in Apocalipstick, there was a new sense of gloom present. The decision to release Apocalipstick on the day of former President Donald Trump’s inauguration day was no accident—it was a calculated political statement. In an interview with CLRVYNT, Creevy confirmed that the political state ments (and political humor) in Apocalipstick were inspired by the racist, sexist, psychotic monster himself.

This is not the only time Creevy has taken

a brave stand. In 2020, Creevy disclosed that when she was 14, she was sexually abused by Sean Redman of the Buttertones, a band also signed to Burger Records—the label that had released Creevy’s first album. Creevy’s brav ery—along with the bravery of other wom en in bands under Burger Records, such as Starcrawler’s Arrow De Wilde—exposed the toxic culture and inexcusable behavior occur ring under Burger Records, which led to the record label ceasing operations in July 2020, as stated by the Los Angeles Times.

Creevy’s bravery and resilience in the face of extreme adversity shine through on Cher ry Glazerr’s most recent album, Stuffed and Ready, which also took a completely new sonic direction. With the combined under tones of indie-pop and art-rock, “Stuffed and

Ready” ushered in a new era of confidence. Tracks like “Daddi” explored new electronic influences, while songs like “Distressor” con tain the wall of guitar-fueled sound present in previous albums. Recently, Cherry Glazerr has been delving into the world of electronic and synth-infused music. By collaborating with artists such as Moon Boots and working with producers such as Suzy Shinn, Cherry Glazerr has successfully shifted genres once again. Despite a roller coaster of different sounds over the years, fans keep coming back to Creevy and her familiar witty lyrics and in stantly recognizable confident vocals. With Creevy only being in her mid-20s, who’s to say what comes next for Cherry Glazerr? Only time will tell what exciting new direc tions Creevy and the band will explore.

October 6, 2022Page 8 FEATURES MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
Image
courtesy of
Paul Hudson
via Wikimedia Commons. Jyotsna Naidu Reporter Continued from Cherry on page 1

Hidden family-run, pick-your-own farm neighbors campus

Only seven minutes away from the Vas sar-favorite Dubois Farms sits another pick-your-own orchard: Prospect Hill Or chards. Run by a local family, the Clarkes, Prospect Hill Orchards has three locations: Hilltop Farm, Homestead Farm and Clarke Family Farms, the first two in Milton, NY, and the latter in Modena, NY. This scenic farmland is only a 20-minute drive from Vassar’s main campus. The farm produces a variety of different fruits that customers can pick including cherries in mid-June; peaches, plums, nectarines and apricots from July to August; and apples and pears from September to October. According to their website, Prospect Hill Orchards be gan operating as a pick-your-own farm in 1982, but the land has been owned by the family for over 200 years.

When you arrive at the farm, you are greeted by Clarke family members and a va riety of baked goods. They have everything from apple cider donuts and homemade jams to crunchy, sweet granola, available to buy before or after your pick-your-own adventure. With a warm smile, a staff member explains how the pick-your-own process works, as they sell their fruit by the bag or box, not by the weight. For apples, you can get half a bushel for $35, a reason able price for the number of apples you get. Split among four friends, the cost is $8.75 per person, and, if done right, each person can take home 10-20 apples from the bag.

The staff members are very kind and excited to welcome visitors to their farm. When I went to the Hilltop location with a few friends in mid-September, we arrived very late in the day, with only an hour until closing, but the staff kept the farm open 20 minutes late just so we could have a good time. Realizing we arrived so late in the day, we apologized immensely for taking up their time, to which one of the women said, “It’s no worries at all; we’re just so glad you decided to come visit us today. Usual ly, people come and realize this isn’t the orchard they wanted to go to, and we point them down the road to the other one, so we’re just really happy you’re here.” One of the staff members drove us up the hilltop

on a big tractor-pulled wagon, eager to help us find what we were looking for or to give us a ride to another part of the orchard. When we finished picking our apples, we came back down the hilltop, and even though they had begun packing up the baked goods for the day, the staff offered to bring items back out for us if we wanted to see them.

In addition to the pick-your-own aspect of the farm, Prospect Hill Orchards also hosts various events. The day that my friends and I went to the orchard, there was a cider-pressing demonstration. The farm also has kids’ days, a Johnny Apple seed Cider Fest and will be hosting a Full Moon Dinner this October, featuring an eight-course menu.

. The atmosphere in the fall provokes the nostalgia of apple picking as a kid, and the view at the Hilltop Farm is hard to beat.

Prospect Hill Orchards is not the orchard that people usually go to or know about, but it's friendly, warm environment is something that you cannot beat. Being a family-run farm, the staff is welcom ing and eager to help out and answer any questions you may have. I highly recom mend going to Prospect Hill Orchards at least once before you graduate. Be sure to swing by when you get the chance, because Prospect Hill Orchards is a hidden gem of delicious goodies and kind hearted people.

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE Page 9FEATURESOctober 6, 2022
Sophia
Wood Guest Columnist
Images
courtesy of Sophia Wood ’23.

HUMOR

Breaking News

A beaver odyssey: I went looking for beavers and failed five times

What’s up with the beavers? Where are they? Maybe an easier question to start with is where are they not? There are a few locations that I have pinned down. They do not live in Sanders Classroom. They do not live in practice rooms 212 or 218. They do not live in my closet. I checked. Where they have been spotted, though, is by the TA bridge, as documented in multiple PB emails.

President Bradley claims that the first bea ver has been named Justice, which is a solid name. I have no qualms with crime-fighting beavers. I have decided the second beaver’s name is Winston Churchill, a figure who has always had sort of a beaver-like quality. How will I differentiate Justice and Winston Churchill when I see them? I will know.

What initially got me interested in these wood fanatics was seeing the beavers first hand at the TA bridge one fateful Septem ber night. I wasn’t the one who spotted them, but I happened to be walking by, so I joined in on the beaver watch. Justice and Winston Churchill seemed to not care that people were a mere five feet away from them and were great models for photos. They bit sticks regardless of our presence. I can only assume these are city beavers, as they ex hibited the blase attitude towards people common with New Yorkers. I would share the pictures I took that night, but they are quite poor and nondescript. My goal this week was to skillfully document the beaver. Here’s how that went:

Attempt one (Sept. 17): This was an initial survey of the area on a late summer evening. It was both a walk and a beaver-searching experience. If this had been a success, then the rest of the journeys would have been superfluous. I wish it had been that simple. I started out by the bridge on the edge of Sunset Lake and then moved downstream towards the TA bridge. Signs of tree-eating

were further down, so I continued walking to the bridge by Kenyon—no beavers, just a bunch of berries that I apparently shouldn’t eat.

Attempt two (Sept. 30): Two weeks later, I tried again. This time I put on my beaver goggles (this is a metaphor, as beaver goggles are not real) and took a very similar route as last time, as this was the only area they have

been documented. During this walk, I real ized that I have no idea what Justice or Win ston Churchill sound like if I were to hear them. I can make out the call of a catbird (a terrible sound) from half a mile away, but I wouldn't know a beaver if it called me on my cell phone. What I found on YouTube I can not describe better than a comment on the video, “What Sound Does a Beaver Make?

Animal Sounds (Beaver Sounds),” that said “it sounds like mc Donald’s straws [sic].” I kept my ears peeled for the sound of a straw, but there were so many catbirds calling that I couldn’t make out anything.

Attempt three (Sept. 30): I started to realize that it might help to change up my timing— so, I went back that night. It was very dark. All of the catbirds were asleep, though, so it was also very quiet. I kept my ears peeled for the sound of red- and yellow-striped straws sliding through McDonald’s cups. This was my least fruitful attempt. It was very dark.

Attempt four (Oct. 1): Fatigue started to set in. I should have been looking at over 300 original Haitian paintings and hun dreds of handcrafts but here I was, walking through catbird alley. My plan this time was to outsmart Justice and Winston Churchill by going upstream instead of downstream. I think I outsmarted everybody but the bea vers, as I saw more squirrels, chipmunks and birds scurrying through one place than I have ever seen in my entire life. It was like Families’ Weekend but for the animals too. I even saw a rare turtle swimming through beaver turf, but still no sign of the creature I sought.

Attempt five (Oct. 1): In my research, I read somewhere that beavers are most ac tive in the morning and at dusk, so I pulled up on Sunset Stream at duskish. I walked upstream from the Kenyon bridge without blinking. I arrived at the TA bridge and just leaned against the rail for 15 minutes, in tently staring at the water. This is the hard est my eyes have ever worked in my life. Still no Justice or Winston Churchill.

I have not failed this hard at something in a very long time. A lot of people say you can learn a lot from your failures. I have learned nothing. And I don’t think I’ll keep trying. “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” Win ston Churchill. Dude’s just mocking me.

Fun ways to pass the time while waiting for the Jewett elevator

Just like Jewett itself, the Jewett elevator comes with its ups and downs, both liter ally and figuratively. But I’m not here to talk about its tendency to land on floors that no one called for, nor the fact that it is about as indecisive about which floor to land on as I am about which direction I should go when I have to pass someone walking in my direc tion in a crowded Deece.

No, I’m here to talk about how excruciat ingly sluggish it happens to be and how to deal with it as a student who’s often pressed for time.

First, though, I want to take a moment to cut the elevator some slack. It really is the MVP of Jewett, loyally and thanklessly trans porting students throughout the house’s whopping 10 floors (including the basement).

Maybe its aforementioned flaws are its own little way of affectionately toying with students or getting back at them for failing to

properly appreciate it. Although I now reside on Raymond’s first floor, I lived on the sixth floor of Jewett last year, and I truly have no idea what I, nor my fellow students who lived on the higher floors, would have done with out its services…except never skipping leg day, I guess.

Given how many students utilize the Jew ett elevator every day (never counted, but my intuition tells me it’s a lot), I thought it im portant to highlight the ways one could kill time while waiting for the elevator, the pillar and literal centerpiece of Jewett House.

1. Play “I Spy” with any of the other un fortunate souls who also happen to be wait ing for that gray door to slide its way open. Remember this kindergarten classic? It gets to be kind of awkward, though, and not as kid-friendly when you run out of objects in the hallway, and you have to choose a con dom that has fallen from the “safe sex” enve lope by the door of a House Team member’s room.

2. Remember how I said we would never be

skipping leg day if Jewett didn’t have an eleva tor? Turns out you don’t need to skip the exer cise after all! Organize an ’80s-style aerobics

“I lived on the sixth floor of Jewett last year, and I truly have no idea what I, nor my fellow students who lived on the higher floors, would have done without its services… except never skipping leg day, I guess.”

sesh right outside the elevator door!

3. Start a campfire and take turns roasting marshmallows and telling ghost stories with your friends. Like about the ghost that makes

the elevator stop at floors where no one is waiting for it. And Jewett has to keep up its reputation for having a ton of fire alarms somehow, doesn’t it? (Please don’t actually do this.)

4. Count as many tiles on the floor as you can before the elevator arrives. My personal record is 57. You can even make a game out of it! Hopscotch, anyone?

5. Start working on your final papers ear ly. By the time the elevator comes, not only will you be finished with them, but they will actually be due, too. Good way to combat pro crastination!

With all of that said, living in Raymond has made me realize how much I took Jewett’s elevator for granted, especially when I go to do my laundry.

We technically have an elevator, but it has a sign with big scary red letters saying that it’s a “NO PASSENGER ELEVATOR.”

I wonder how slow that one is… maybe I’d write it its own article if I wasn’t too scared (or too much of a rule-follower) to ride it.

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE October 6, 2022Page 10
From
the desk
Editor
As midterms approach, being too busy to do literally anything becomes both a competition and a negligible complaint.
Emma San Filippo Still Waiting Nicholas Tillinghast/The Miscellany News.

ARIES

March 21 | April 19 TAURUS April 20 | May 20 GEMINI May 21 | June 20 CANCER June 21 | July 22 LEO July 23 | August 22 VIRGO August 23 | September 22

HOROSCOPES

Watching bad movies cleanses the soul and is a perfect way to procrastinate. Espe cially now that the most annoying people around you think it’s somehow Christmas time, some less-than-professional holiday films might be a good place to start. Remem ber that the true meaning of Christmas is always, somehow, American propaganda.

It’s cold, which means it’s cozy time!!! Blanket capes are IN, not wearing bulky socks is OUT. We need so badly to enter into our coziness era. A little hibernaysh never hurt anyone. Only thing is that lying in your bed begets more lying in your bed, so don’t forget to not lie in your bed some times. I know it’s evil, but it must be done.

Have you thought about getting into a fight recently? Don’t, obviously. That’s a bad idea. But maybe you have some energy that you need to let out. Remember that there are more productive ways to do this. Recently, I took up felting. It is by far my favorite fiber art because it allows me to stab things with impunity. Watch that needle, though.

Pursuing your passions is hard, even when it’s all you want to do, so anytime you have the energy for it you should be really grateful. Sometimes, there’s only one thing I want to do, but the only thing my brain will let me do is nothing. Save up your energy in a jar to use later. Also your leftover scallion bulbs. Water both well.

This is a week of meeting new people! Maybe you’re someone that people just come up to and tell things, and maybe that’s cool of them. Or maybe you can just go up to people and tell them things. Look up fun facts to get you started. Recently, I’ve been on LegoTok. Make friends by telling people about rare Lego brick colors! This definitely works.

Your realism-that’s-actually-just-pes simism is extra strong this week. Instead of telling people how they can be better, let them tell you! Open your heart and mind and ears, and allow yourself to be a shoulder to cry on, if you can handle that type of thing right now. People love your advice… when they ask for it.

LIBRA

September 23 | October 22 SCORPIO

October 23 | November 21 SAGITTARIUS

November 22 | December 21 CAPRICORN December 22 |

January 19 AQUARIUS

January 20 | February 18 PISCES February 19 | March 20

While it is tempting this week to plan the wedding between you and whoever most re cently gave you a gift, remember that there are more important things than material posses sions. Have you been mesmerized by the beauty of the world recently? Ideas: walks, yodeling, lying face-down on the grass and breathing in that cool grass scent. Mesmerizing.

My favorite thing about Scorpios is how you will kinda drop stuff on me random ly. Facts about yourselves, sure, but also objects. My Scorpio friends are much like cats in that they will not stop knocking things onto my head. Please, guys, it’s enough already. I’m worried about getting a concussion. This week, stop doing that.

Your deadpan wit can sometimes come across as genuine frustration, but remember that communication is always key! Tell your friends how you feel about them through their love language. If they want acts of service or quality time, listen to them vent! If they want gifts, remind them coldly that there is no ethical consumption under capitalism!

Overwhelmed? Overworked? So, so sleepy? TOO BAD! Meanwhile, the world goes on. You are Sisyphus, and Moodle posts are your big rock: You think you’re done with them and then BAM! The next day there’s four more. And don’t even get me started on the emails. But you, like Sisyphus, will fig ure it out. And then do it all again tomorrow.

Technology is evil, obviously, but some times it can be useful. Like to update your cal endar, for example, or to Google the etymol ogy of words to kill time. Algorithms may be the work of the devil, but isn’t it nice when TikTok knows exactly what you want to see? In this world, we win and we lose, and we might as well be entertained while we lose.

Feeling weepy this week? Know at least that you’re not alone. Crying is really good for you, in moderation. Maybe not when it’s every day, but then at least you know that something is wrong and you are going to work to fix it. If not, you resign yourself to weepiness for the next few days. Which, I don’t know, maybe that’s just who you are.

Families Weekend: A chaotic glimpse into your peers' origins

Carly D'Antonio

Just one of many D'Antonios

Families Weekend is a weekend like no other. All of campus is bustling with chaos and fun, with students showing their families around our very scenic campus. As a senior, however, I have witnessed many Families Weekends come and go. My fam ily has frequented Families Weekends all three times it has occurred during my time at Vassar. The fact that I live less than an hour away doesn't really make it a difficult decision.

And before I start writing this article, I will say that I love my family very much and if any of them are reading this…you are be ing used for the sake of humor, and I hope you can forgive me. If any of you do not ap prove of my attempts to write a satisfying humor article, then you should have raised

me to be an unfunny person when you had the chance.

Now, my family is not unusual by any means. Overall, I would say they are pretty normal people. However, when we are all in the same room together, chaos always seems to ensue.

Let's start off with the furry member of the family, my father’s beloved dog, Frank. I would have to say that Frank is the most emotionally unique dog that I have ever met in my life. My dad adopted him a couple years back, and let’s just say that he is a very strange dog. He does not bark; rather, he screams. This screaming occurs most hours of the day, unless he is being pet or given lots and lots of attention. So you can imagine my reaction when I saw him hop out of the car on Saturday morning and run straight into my kitchen to commence said screaming.

Now let's get to his owner. Pat D’Antonio,

my father. As I was thinking of humor ar ticles for this week, I knew that he would appreciate the shout out, and it would give him a little ego boost to know that all five of my readers now know who he is. Pat is a funny guy, there is no denying that. But that doesn't mean that I am not terrified anytime he interacts with my friends, worried that he will make an insane joke that makes no sense and results in a bunch of confused, awkward laughter.

That tension is usually dissolved by my lovely sister, Ally. Ally not only has a full job and is incredibly independent, but she is also possibly the nicest person in the world. This is a shame because I am probably the worst sister in the world and only respond to her with my bitchiest behavior possible.

That bitchy behavior is reprimanded by my lovely mother, Wendy. Wendy is a saint. She helps me with everything that I

need help with and is available to listen to me complain 24 hours a day. This weekend, she supplied our home with baked goods and toilet paper, which we were in desper ate need of. She is also a former comedian, so this weekend when I asked her if she had any ideas for my column, she responded with, “Why don't you just write about lying like you always do?” I took that as a no.

The only family member who was not able to make it was my twin brother, Rocky. There is not much you need to know about him. He is the same as me, but six feet tall with curly hair and glasses.

Overall, families can be tough and fun. Whether it's comforting a screaming dog at 9 a.m. while your mother is inspecting the cleanliness of your kitchen or trying to stifle any inappropriate jokes coming out of your father’s mouth, they are always there when you need them.

October 6, 2022 Page 11HUMOR MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

How I learned Japanese in less than 10 minutes

Have you ever wanted to study an import ant foreign language, particularly the one rumored to be among the most difficult in the world for English speakers to master?

Would you like to fluently command an en tirely new writing system, one which will enable you to read a wide variety of previous ly-inaccessible texts? Would you like to gain the ability to communicate with people from an entirely new culture? If so, then learning Klingon may be the right choice for you. Unfortunately, I don’t speak a word of that language because Vassar doesn’t offer it. So I settled for the next best thing: Japanese. Like Klingon, nihongo boasts the twin advantag es of enabling you to utilize an entirely new skillset and of marking you as an enormous geek the instant you begin your studies. And here’s a hot tip for you: While I may have been working on my Japanese for three years

now, I actually gained the vast bulk of my language skills in less time than it takes to purchase a falafel bowl on Tasty Tuesday. How? Read on!

The most challenging thing about Japa nese is the fact that it has three writing sys tems. If that sounds simple enough to you, consider this: How many of the English speakers that you know really have a decent command of just twenty-six letters? Learn ing to read and write Japanese takes years of practice and dedication, which is why I simply skipped that route entirely and went straight to my first Japanese lifehack.

Think about what reading looks like to an outside observer. You’re staring at the lit tle squiggles, maybe scratching your chin, grunting knowingly now and then—it’s the very picture of erudition. But think about it: How many of the people you’ve ever seen reading another language do you think actu ally know what the little squiggles mean? The

answer is that it was probably very few of them. In an age where simply staying updat ed on the Kardashians is a full-time job, who has time to do all that work? Instead, you can achieve the same effect by simply hrrming and ahhing as you stare at page after page of impenetrable text. Highly-respected lan guage scholars have been known to do this for up to 10 hours every day.

After I learned to read, I knew it was time to master speaking and listening. Fortunate ly, this proved even easier. By simply turn ing on my favorite anime, I was quickly able to discern what a typical Japanese person would say if they were being beaten down by a half-naked muscular man with sea urchin hair. Now that I’m in Japan, I simply repeat these phrases verbatim whenever I am ad dressed by a Japanese speaker. I’m sure I’ve left quite an impression!

While you’re here, try consulting this list of useful expressions, the three of which I

Poetry Corner

find myself using most often during my life in Japan: ああ、このアニメ、エロいね。 [This Jap anese animated television show tickles my fancy in more ways than one, if you happen to be picking up what I’m putting down, old chap.]

Perdóname, pero yo soy un poco confun dido/a. [I believe I have booked the wrong plane ticket.]

Easier than you thought, right? I can now speak Japanese like a native, presuming that said native is heavily inebriated or missing most of their teeth. Sure, I don’t know what the things I say mean, but what is meaning if not a subjective social construct? But I’m afraid I have to go now; I’m actually quitting Japanese, you see, and Klingon 101 starts in five minutes.

Madam Goat

The gentlemen fawned over Madam Goat, Later, ladies, seized with malice, Who clad herself in a designer coat. Relieved their envy with a poisoned chalice.

October 6, 2022Page 12 HUMOR MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
おおい、野郎!何をしているのかい?バ カにしているのかい?来てこい!ぶっ飛ば すぜ! [I disagree!]
Alyssa Willeford Crash
Coursing

OPINIONS

Students in apartments should receive grocery stipends

As a senior, at last, I’m living in apart ment-style campus housing. My Ter race Apartment (TA) is equipped with a full kitchen: a refrigerator, a sink, a four-plate stove top, an oven and even an island, with enough counter space for all kinds of culi nary creations. After living on campus be fore, during and after the pandemic, I can say for certain that Vassar College Dining does not fit all of my needs. I won’t get into the details of my personal experiences with Vassar College food, but suffice to say, I was excited to finally have a kitchen where my roommates and I could enjoy cooking and eating together. After all, as the College website itself declares, “[The apartments] are shared by groups of four or five students who do their own cooking.” However, this description leaves out a crucial detail: With few exceptions, all students—including those living in these apartments—are re quired to be on the meal plan; oh, and they receive absolutely no—$0—grocery stipends for their full kitchens. That’s right, if stu dents want to do their “own cooking” as the website says, they must dip into their own pockets for groceries.

Vassar places a premium price on these apartments—they cost $500 more than the normal room and board plan, according to Student Financial Services. Presumably, this is to offset the costs of the amenities provided, like a full kitchen (by the way, these kitchens don’t come with utensils, knives, cutting boards, bowls or plates). When full-time students are required to be on the meal plan, only those who can

afford to spend more than the cost of the meal plan are able to buy groceries for their kitchens. Thus, the meal plan disin centivizes students who live in apartments from actually using the provided kitchens; at the end of the day, students are losing money by not eating at campus dining locations. To make using the apartment kitchens more equitable, students living in campus apartments should receive a grocery stipend as part of their meal plan.

Currently, students have unlimited swipe access to the Deece and a maximum of three swipes a day to use at The Retreat, Express or the Bridge Cafe. Instead, stu dents living in apartments should be able to opt in to a grocery stipend and meal plan option—in exchange for some swipes, stu dents could receive a monthly grocery sti pend and be able to afford to cook in their college homes. Because the meal plan is “unlimited,” however, this complicates the process of allocating funds from the meal plan to a student grocery stipend. I’m not here to run the numbers on how this can be distributed effectively, but I’m confident that campus management, who make six figures according to Univstats, can figure something out.

Vassar claims that it provides students with ingredients to cook through the “Meals to Go” program, but these are only offered on weekends, and you must plan ahead by submitting your order, food re strictions and number of portions. These “meals to go” are meal kits with measured out ingredients and pre-planned recipes. Students have to place their orders by Thursday morning and have to choose be

tween two limited meal options (meat or vegan), and they are not able to choose the ingredients for their kit. Additionally, the program uses large amounts of plastic, as each ingredient is portioned out individ ually: single-use plastic bags for meat and vegetables, and little plastic containers for oil and spices. Wouldn’t it reduce cost and waste to redirect these funds to a grocery stipend program? Students could choose the ingredients they want for the food they want so that they can cook in their kitch ens, any day of the week.

Don’t get me wrong—I think a full meal plan for students in dorms is equitable. But students in apartments deserve an ad ditional grocery stipend for their kitchens and the premium that comes with them. After all, wouldn’t it be nice to have extra funds so we can do our own cooking, as the college advertises? Having a stipend for groceries at Vassar is not unheard of— in the past, the Ferry House Co-op has re ceived a budget from the Vassar Student Association (VSA) for group meals (as well as for cleaning supplies and hosting cam pus events), and this does not detract funds from residents’ meal plans. Currently, many students living in these apartments cannot afford to cook for themselves all the time, even a few times a week. To make up for this, there must be reasonable and comprehensive change.

This is not a groundbreaking idea—oth er liberal arts schools do it differently. At Wesleyan, for example, upperclassmen have the option to be on a partial pointbased plan, according to the school’s website; they can then use the points at

an on-campus grocery store. Although a Wesleyan senior told me that the on-cam pus store is overpriced, when compared with the sticker-price of the Vassar meal plan ($2,335 per semester), Wesleyan up perclassmen save $275 in funds that could be used for groceries (the upperclassmen plan is $2,060).

While students receive $105 in Arling ton Bucks each semester, the only grocery vendor that accepts this form of payment is MyMarket, which is small and expen sive with limited offerings. Even if a stu dent had access to a car (one-quarter to one-third of students have cars on cam pus, according to the Office of Residential Life), they would not be able to use Ar lington Bucks at any full-fledged grocery store. MyMarket is by far the closest to campus, whereas the nearest full-offer ing grocery store—Associated Supermar ket—is a 26-minute walk from Main, and Stop & Shop, the nearest supermarket, is a 30-minute walk from Main on the side of a state highway.

All in all, as an upperclassman, I want to enjoy my newfound adulthood by cooking with my housemates. Recently, we made elaborate tofu rice bowls, with a kim chi garnish, sautéed broccoli and peanut sauce. We set the table and ate together in the place that feels like our first adult liv ing situation. At the end of the day, cook ing is a love language for many; I want to be able to do it more often, with the people I cherish on this campus, whom I have fi nite time with. But the lack of a grocery stipend infringes on the use of our kitch ens! Please, just be reasonable.

Page 13
The opinions expressed above do not represent those of The Miscellany News as a whole. MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE October 6, 2022
Karen
Mogami/The Miscellany News.

Poughkeepsie transport is inadequate for commuter needs

Every week, five days out of seven, I load up my car and drive two and a half miles from my home in Poughkeepsie to Vassar College. I drop my son off at the Vassar In fant Toddler Center, and I park on Raymond Avenue, normally next to Chicago Hall.

Roughly once a week I wish that I didn't have to drive. The Arterial is an annoyance; I always get stuck at the same two red lights and the bicyclists genuinely have me con cerned for their safety as they carelessly zip around ongoing traffic. I wish I could just ride my bike or take the bus. It’s more en vironmentally friendly and would save me roughly $60 to $80 in gas every month. Un fortunately, there is no direct bus line from my house to Vassar. Instead, my options are limited to a 20-minute bike ride along streets with zero bike lanes, walking for 45 minutes or driving for eight. The choice is easy for me. I am privileged enough to own a car and even more privileged that the price of gas doesn’t break my wallet. But what about ev eryone else?

There are roughly 30,000 people living in Poughkeepsie. According to Point2h omes, Poughkeepsie’s top three means of transportation are car, bus and walking.

Approximately 1,000 people walk and another 1,000rely on the bus and train system for transportation. If 2,000 people are either relying on public transportation or walking, then why are both the City and Town of Poughkeepsie failing them?

I’ve started counting bus stops when I see them. So far I’ve seen two by Vassar, one by a middle school on Hooker Avenue, one at Adams and another at Stop & Shop.

Every single bus stop I have seen is on the Arlington side of Poughkeepsie. For those that don’t know, Arlington is the area sur rounding Vassar College. According to DataUSA, the median income in Arlington is $65,850 compared to the median income

of Poughkeepsie residents, at $47,000.

I figured that surely I was mistaken on where the bus stops were. I spend a lot of time at Vassar, so logically it makes sense that I would see the most bus stops in this area. So I hopped on the Dutchess County Public Transportation website. Pough keepsie has 13 bus lines, each with eight to 15 stops, depending on the line. That is a decent number of stops, but as I started to actually look at each route, I realized some thing strange. Every bus line, with the ex ception of three, moves in a straight line with huge gaps between stops. Some lines stop once per town as they move through Dutchess County. Poughkeepsie actually only has a few stops on each bus line. There are three lines dedicated to the community of Poughkeepsie. All have stops in Arling ton, but none cross the Arterial toward the

community between Marist and Dutchess community. I never realized it, but I live in a dead zone. There are no bus stops or grocery stores. The closest are both a mile away, newly built in close proximity to Marist College.

The bus stops have another built-in issue. Accessibility isn’t just a matter of distance, but a matter of location. Over half of the bus stops that I’ve seen have been a singular sign planted in a grassy medium between the curb and maybe a sidewalk. There is no bench to sit on or shelter to wait under. With some not even having a sidewalk leading to the stops, they are effectively islands in a void. We live in the Northeast. Snow, ice and rain are all common occur rences. Summers can get hot, especially in the sunshine for extended periods. In times when we are reminded to bring in our pets

to avoid hot or cold weather injuries, we are also expecting our neighbors to wait for a bus with no protection from the ele ments. Add all of that to the lack of proper sidewalks, and our bus system is only truly accessible to the healthiest, most mobile citizens for the majority of the time.

The Vassar community cares about the environment. Vassar’s students have led campaigns for carbon neutrality, compost ing, sustainable agriculture, etc. We are a community of tree-huggers, if you will. A subpar public transportation system means that people in our community are being denied access to more than just envi ronmental justice. They are being denied access to better food, to better jobs, to better healthcare. A better public transportation system benefits us all. It's time we demand it.

Disability isn't a barrier, discrimination is (Part 2)

One of the major indications of the lack of nuanced understanding of disabili ty on campus is the frequent inaccessibili ty of student organizations. I know this is going to sound controversial and desperate to some of you since I’m a first-year, but I’m not here to make you hate your orgs. I’m here to show you how they inherently exclude certain groups of people—and not based on people’s hypothetical contribu tion to the group, but because of entry pro cesses that are often ableist.

A quick note before I get into this: You have probably seen on every campus event poster that the Office of Campus Activities and Student Events is to be contacted for accommodations. Unfortunately, there is no information on the office’s website about what the process is to get those ac commodations. Therefore, for disabled students to be accommodated at events, we must first spend energy learning this new process and then calling strangers and ask ing for space to be made for us. Clearly, this is time-consuming and draining, even for those without symptoms of fatigue (and yes, we are going to need accommodations at nearly every event, so this process will have to be repeated multiple times a week).

Many orgs that require auditions have ambiguous entry processes. I can imagine that from the members’ perspective, this ambiguity allows them to see the “true”

personalities of auditionees. I’d like to counter this notion and point out that the likelihood of getting to know anyone in a matter of 15 minutes is low, especially if you weed out neurodivergent folks by cre ating an environment that is not conducive to their success. For many with autism, ADHD and anxiety, for instance, unpre dictable social environments are hellish. Many auditions, but specifically those for comedy organizations, also require under standing purposefully obtuse social cues, such as “draw a dream you had,” “choose a stripper name” or “what makes you laugh?”

When I read questions like those, I know there is a specific type of answer that the org is looking for, but I don’t know what it is. I don’t know if I’m supposed to be liter al or “quirky” or funny; I don’t know how hard I’m supposed to think about it, and I certainly don’t know how my answers to a Google Form filled out in a few minutes in a squeaky hallway in Rocky are sup posed to give anyone an idea of my ability to write comedy sketches. Moreover, when I go into an audition not knowing what the org is looking for, I don’t know what social cues to present—and don’t say I shouldn’t present cues, because everyone does all the time. Neurotypicals just don’t have to do it consciously. The first impression I’ll always give is impulsive, uncontrolled and nervous precisely because of my disabili ties. In one of these auditions (which, for comedy, are done in a massive five-hour

time block divined by the devil for the chronically ill) I was asked to tell them a story, something I can’t do (well) on the spot because I have an inconsistent mem ory. I want to be clear that this was not an improv group, but a group that pre-writes all of its sets. So those members never saw how I would contribute to their group be cause my disability was an easy way to nar row the pool of auditionees. I left feeling positive I never had a chance. I don’t think I necessarily would have made it if I had been able to prepare, but I wouldn’t have felt like I never could, because no matter how funny I was or how much I practiced or how many years I auditioned, I would never pass the test of being neurotypical. I couldn’t have asked for accommodations like it always says to do on posters because I had no idea what I was going to be asked to do. I’ll never be able to have my “vibey self” balance out my sensory sensitivity, anxi ety and memory problems because I can’t hide my disability well enough to fit in any space here at Vassar.

When I tell people this story, they re mind me that everyone has trouble ad justing, and in turn I remind them that I’m adjusting wonderfully; it’s the Vassar community that can’t adapt to having dis abled students. My Vassar Bubble burst be cause I realized that there is no way I can adjust enough to be what Vassar wants—an able-minded and -bodied person, or at the very least, a disabled person who doesn’t

complain. And as much as I have tried to forget a dean dismissing my request for subtitles or being told that all physical lim itations are temporary in my dance class or getting asked if I’ve tried a checklist in a meeting reviewing the accommodations for my forgetfulness, I am too tired already to carry these experiences by myself. I am too aware that I have it good because I’ve re ceived any treatment at all. I am too close, always, to blaming myself when I can’t just “suck it up” and “work harder.” It is too much.

There is so much more to say than the topics I have covered here. I haven’t talked enough about physical disabilities/accessi bility or smaller changes that would make daily life infinitely easier. I’ve only men tioned the big issues that have impacted me specifically. I haven’t thanked the people here who have given me so much already and kept me safe and sane or told you the solutions: education, community, listen ing to disabled students. Partially, this is because I don’t have all these answers, but it’s also because I can’t do this alone. I don’t want to have to beg in the school paper for space to be made for me at an institution I deserve to thrive at. I’m asking you to listen now because I’m tired of telling these sto ries, because I hate reading legislation but I interpreted the ADA as best I could to pro tect myself and my community. I’m asking you to listen because I’m tired of not being heard.

Page 14 October 6, 2022OPINIONS The opinions expressed above do not represent those of The Miscellany News as a whole. MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
Britt Andrade Guest Columnist
Photo courtesy of Alex Israel via Wikimedia Commons.

Vassar Athletics Day of Giving returns after COVID hiatus

Brewer Training Facility, the addition of staff to the sports medicine team and more.

After a two-year hiatus, the Vassar Ath letics Day of Giving is making its re turn.

The Athletic Department’s primary fundraiser will run from Oct. 6 at 9 a.m. until noon of the next day and aims to reach a goal of 2,000 donations during those 27 hours.

“The Day of Giving has played a crucial role in our efforts to offer a more robust and well-rounded student-athlete experi ence while also improving the competitive success of our programs,” Director of Ath letics Michelle Walsh told The Miscellany News. “More than that, this event has also helped to generate a sense of excitement and connection among our current stu dent-athletes, their families, and our ded icated alumni.”

In the past, the fundraiser has encour aged inter-team competition. This year, the tagline is: “29 Teams. One Common Goal.”

“Our focus is on helping all of our teams rise to excellence together rather than fos tering competition among the programs,” said Walsh in an email addressed to Vas sar’s student-athletes.

If the donation goal is met, President of the College Elizabeth Bradley and her hus band John Bradley will donate $10,000 to the Brewers Fund, which supports RISE programming, new equipment in the Iron

Gifts given to individual teams will still support team specific events and purchas es, but 20 percent of those gifts will go to the general Brewers Fund.

Teams can also receive a $1,000 bonus if they hit their individual donor goals, which are based on current team and alum nae/i base size.

The Athletic Department began to roll out the campaign throughout the final week of September.

Vassar Athletics and individual teams’ social media accounts entered fundraising mode by changing their profile pictures to the campaign’s official “#Give2Brew” branding, and teams have also posted vid eos across their accounts encouraging their supporters to show up in full force on Oct. 6.

Just as the fundraiser has been absent because of COVID-19, so have the trips that teams are able to take together, a signifi cant aspect of the collegiate athletics expe rience. Vassar teams travel across the coun try, all the way from Florida to California, while some teams even get the opportunity to travel internationally. Fundraising is paramount for these trips to be a possibil ity.

“Fundraising gives us a great chance to provide new opportunities for our play ers,” Head Coach of men’s volleyball Rich ard Gary told The Miscellany News. “In

our case, going overseas is something that many on the team have not experienced, which makes it especially fun.”

To Gary, the Day of Giving is about ele vating student-athletes’ experiences and reconnecting with alumnae/i who per sonally appreciate the value of what the department and teams are advocating for.

“This trip gives us a chance to do more than just travel gym to gym, but gives us

Vassar Brewers Sports Roundup: Thursday,

Men’s Cross Country

Invitational

Sept. 30

This past Saturday, the Vassar men’s cross country team traveled down to Bethlehem, PA, for one of the biggest meets in the country, the Paul Short Invitational. The highly competitive meet included schools from Division III, as well as Division I. The Brewers stepped up to meet their competition, with many runners earning personal bests. Leading the pack was Miles Takiguchi ’23, who ran a program record 24:22.0, good for 12th place overall in the Brown race. Vassar’s next finisher was Aidan Mayer ’24, who ran a gutsy race, crossing the line in 25:52.2. Junior Andrew Blackburn ’24 cranked out a lifetime per sonal best of 25:59.4, and rookie Davis Anderson ’26 pulled out an impressive 26:02.6. Jose Magana ’25 had a strong debut 8k with a time of 26:14.8, and first-year Charlie Brodkin ’26 broke 30 minutes for the first time in his career with a personal best of 28:53.5. The team finished 29th of 45 teams in the Brown race, and will next head to New London, CT, for the Connecticut College Invitational on Oct. 15.

a cultural adventure that goes well beyond our sport.”

“I look forward to the Day of Giving be cause it gives us a chance to connect with all our incredible alums and supporters,” Gary added. “It's exciting to reconnect and share the challenge, and it gives them a chance to reminisce about their past travels.”

Donations can be made at go.vassar.edu/ Give2Brew.

Paul Short Invitational

The women’s cross country team went down to Bethlehem, PA, this past Saturday to face off against some of the best teams in the country, including teams from both Division I and Division III at the Paul Short Invitational. The Brewers finished 24th out of 46 teams in the highly competitive field, and had some incredibly strong performances from individuals as well. Augusta Stockman ’23 ran a personal best time of 22:02.9, the fourth fastest time in program history, and placed 38th overall in the Brown race. Not too far behind her was the duo of Clara Wiesler ’24 and Noni Pattington ’25, who finished back-to-back in times of 22:52.1 and 22:52.9, respectively. Annika Mueller-Hickler ’26 had a strong day, running a 23:30.5 to round out the scoring five. Amaavi Miriyagalla ’24 also ran a big lifetime best of 24:24.1, finishing seventh among the Brewers. Next up for Vassar is the Connecticut College Invitational on Saturday, Oct. 15.

The Vassar Field Hockey team split its two games this week, losing a close 1-0 game to Ithaca on Oct. 1 and winning a double overtime thriller by a score of 2-1 against #20 SUNY Cortland on Oct. 4. Against Ithaca, the Brewers battled the whole way through the game, playing strong defense and getting some good chances but never quite getting one in the net. The game stayed deadlocked at 0-0 for well over three quarters until Ithaca scored a goal with 1:38 remaining, handing Vassar a heartbreaking defeat. The Brewers quickly rebounded with a huge win over 20th-ranked SUNY Cortland just a few days later on Oct. 4. After a scoreless first quarter, Vassar got on the board first with a goal from Maggie Werner ’24 early in the second quarter. The Brewers once again played strong de fense throughout the match and were able to keep Cortland off the board deep into the fourth quarter. But with under four minutes to go, the Red Dragons finally scored to tie things up and eventually send the game into overtime. Goalie Sarah Dumaresq ’24 kept Cortland at one goal with some big saves in the first overtime period. After having some chances of their own in overtime, Vassar finally pulled through with the game winner from Leilani Llamas ’25 in the second overtime period. With the win, Vassar improves to 7-3 on the season. Next up for the Brewers is their Senior Day matchup against Union College on Saturday, Oct. 8.

This past Saturday, Oct. 1, the men’s soccer team stayed undefeated in Liberty League play with its 1-0 win over Union College. The Brewers got some early chances, but were finally able to cash in in the 26th minute, when Ryan Lane ’23 headed the ball into the net. Strong defense kept Union off the board heading into halftime. In the second half, the Brewers had some more great chances, but just weren’t able to convert any into goals. Union had some great chances of their own, but along with solid defense, goal keeper Eric Wnorowski ’23 was able to keep Union off the board. The win improved Vas sar’s record to 7-3 on the season, including 3-0 in league play. Next up for the Brewers is a matchup against Skidmore in Saratoga Springs, NY, on Saturday, Oct. 8.

Page 15SPORTS MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE October 6, 2022
Nick Villamil
Columnist
W 1-0
Women’s
Cross Country
Paul Short
1-1 Field Hockey
Men's Soccer
Oct. 1-4 Oct. 1
Oct. 6, 2022 Sept. 30
Image courtesy of Sophia Wood ’23.

The Miscellany Crossword

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leading lady in

Vermeer's home, and the

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certain animated snowman

meaning both or around

A lion's 'do

2008 Jordin Sparks hit single

One of three state agencies in volved with the JWST

365: The Brontës

195: Advanced Beginning Mod

365: The Brontës

Actor Baldwin

Abbr. for a grease monkey

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Biblical judge

Death recs.

Fitting name for a purring or coo ing sound

Quite small

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French author of “In Search of Lost Time”

Biblical script, abbr.

Vassar's “brother” school

Component of a blind or bed frame

Electronic that comes in shuffle, nano and touch variants

Breaks for sports teams

Washingtons

Elementary school quintet

Coughing sickness, sometimes called laryngotracheobronchitis

Honesty

It may be grassy

Chinese Louvre architect

Not profane

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Capital city and its country 2,604 miles SSW of Honolulu

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Being a HUGE fan

Bar projectile

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French verb that shares a root with script and scribe

Set of moral principles

Head

Spirit

61-across and 11-down are two ex amples of this

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Algerian port city

Femme or andro counterpart

Affirmative votes

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