Misc.12.07.23

The Miscellany News

miscellanynews.org

Vassar College’s student newspaper of record since 1866

December 7, 2023

Volume 160 | Issue 12

Students hold sit-in for international day of action Clara Alger News Editor

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n Nov. 29, International Day of Solidarity with Palestine, Vassar’s Students for Justice in Palestine (SJP) held a sit-in in the Main Building lobby in order to raise awareness about the conflict and to continue to make visible their demands of the administration. The event, sponsored by 23 student organizations, lasted from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Nov. 29 was an international day of action, with college campuses across the country participating through a variety of protest methods.

An anonymous student organizer from SJP commented on the purpose of the sitin, sharing, “A part of this sit-in is to make sure people don’t forget that there’s still a genocide going on, and that despite this humanitarian pause, people are still dying and people still will continue to die even if its on your feed less.” An anonymous student participant echoed this idea, saying, “While I can look away from my screen, for people in Gaza this is really their life and it’s important to keep speaking up about it.”

SJP continues to call on Vassar to publicize a list of their investments, acknowledge and condemn the genocide in Gaza and boycott the two Vassar-sponsored study abroad programs that are held in Israel.

In a previous written statement to The Miscellany News after their walkout on

Annual

Yule

Barbara Nieves-Brito Guest Reporter

“T

he Yule Ball is such a Vassar thing.

Opportunities to dress up with your friends and dance together typically go away after high school, but not here. It is a nice change of pace from every other weekend,” said Chloe Sindaco ’27. This quote perfectly encapsulates this festive annual tradition that has swept students into a swing dancing fervor. Couples and friends alike were spotted embracing the jazz theme through their style as they pulled together dazzling looks from the depths of their dorm closets. The attendees swayed to the smooth soothings of a live jazz band breaking out into lively 20th century dances as the band’s tempo picked up. Skeptical students had little time for uncertainty, as swing dancing waits for no one.

Presented by Vassar’s Quadball team, the Butterbeer Broooers, and Vassar Social Dance, the ball ran from 8:30 p.m. to midnight. The first 30 minutes were dedicated to a swing dance lesson, where students unfamiliar with the style were quickly brought up to speed. After some initial nervous laughter and stumbling, most attendees found their footing by 9 p.m. In response to the eclectic dancing, Luca Michael Pereira-Frears ’27 stated, “I’ll be the first to say I’m not a big Charleston guy. Tonight has been

Oct. 25, President Bradley said, “Vassar will not support a boycott of Israel or Israeli products and services. Not only do we as an institution not support such a boycott, in New York State boycotts of this nature subject the College to ineligibility for state funding in key areas. Additionally, Vassar has alums, students and family, and faculty ties to the region as a whole and a long history of student travel to Israel which we will continue to support.” SJP says that in response to the sit-in, President Bradley sent them an email reiterating this statement.

In graphics published on Instagram before the sit-in, SJP instructed participants to remain silent, keep exits and entrances clear and not to do classwork during the protest. During the protest, students sat quietly on the floor within tape lines so as not to block pathways. The walls in the lobby were covered with posters, SJP’s list of demands, the flag of Palestine and many paper posters with “murdered by Israel” written above faces of deceased children.

Participants handed out pamphlets to passersby with their demands and statistics about casualties in the conflict.

Another anonymous student participant commented, “The wide range of responses from different students as they passed by was very interesting.” They added, “Some stopped what they were doing and asked to join, while some actually looked angry,

Ball

which is very telling.”

Additionally, there was a display of revolutionary and socialist literature, and

many participants at the sit-in were encouraged to read from the collection of See SIT-IN on page 3

Image courtesy of Vassar Students for Justice in Palestine.

dazzles Rugby finishes as runner-up

a bit of a struggle. But honestly, after 45 minutes or so, I got, like, really into it.” This event pushed many students out of their comfort zones, but by around 11 p.m., it was impossible to tell. Huge smiles were visible through the darkness of the dance floor.

The Aula was beautifully decorated with the holiday spirit in mind. Upon entering the room, students were whisked into a winter wonderland. The ceilings were strewn with paper snowflakes and the walls were lit up with string lights. And what is a ball without music? The ambiance was perfectly matched by the live jazz band. They played for hours and were even accompanied by singers throughout the night. Some of the brass section even sported tasteful Santa hats. One double bass player put a hat on the top of his instrument. There was a wall dedicated to taking photos with friends, with a backdrop filled with snowflakes and blue string lights. While much of this ball was built on contributions by the Vassar community, it is important to mention the series that this night drew some inspiration from.

The Yule Ball comes from the Harry Potter series, a formal dance held on Dec. 25 for students of three wizarding schools during the “Triwizard Tournament,” often referred to as one of the highlights of the fictional characters’ time at school. This sentiment See YULE BALL on page 6

Nick Villamil Sports Editor

L

ast weekend, Vassar’s women’s rugby team made its eighth appearance in the Final Four of the National Collegiate Rugby Fall Championship.

Joining the Brewers in Houston for the event was the University of Illinois, the United States Coast Guard Academy and the University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire.

Vassar’s first game was a national semifinal matchup against the Coast Guard on Saturday afternoon, which they defeated in the championship game last year. If Vassar was able to win, they would earn the opportunity to play for a third consecutive national championship.

Similar to last year’s national championship, which Vassar won 78-24, this year’s semifinal matchup quickly saw the Brewers build a comfortable lead. At halftime, Vassar led 38-10. The Coast Guard responded with 28 second-half points, but Vassar added 10 more points of their own, advancing to the national championship game with a 48-38 victory. Leading the way for the Brewers was Sophia Bailey ’26 and Asia Baker ’24, who scored three tries each.

“The team played well on Saturday, scoring 48 points and beating Coast Guard,” longtime Head Coach Tony Brown told The Miscellany News in a written corre-

spondence. “In a sport that is so team and unit oriented, sometimes highlighting individuals seems disrespectful to those not mentioned. So with respect to all the squad I want to single out Vassar flanker, Asia Baker [’24], who was tenacious in defense and penetrating on attack carrying the ball. Annie Adams [’25] and Mette McKinney [’26] also shone brightly.”

The next day, Vassar faced off against the University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire in a closely contested and exciting championship match that had five lead changes. For comparison, Vassar’s semifinal game did not have any lead changes.

Wisconsin-Eau Claire jumped out to a 17-7 lead, but Vassar closed the gap and led 19-17 at the half. The second half was just as close. With only eight minutes left in the game, the Brewers trailed 27-24 until Jude Robinson ’26 scored and put Vassar ahead 29-27.

As the game neared its conclusion, the pressure was now on Wisconsin-Eau Claire, which they responded to with one final score to regain the lead. Ultimately, the Brewers ended up on the wrong side of the game’s constant back and forth and lost 29-32.

“There were tears aplenty and great disappointment for sure,” Brown admitted. “A day later and after having had time to reSee RUGBY on page 14

Inside this issue

4

NEWS

Read Guest Reporter Ben Savel’s coverage of the College’s request to dismiss the pay equity lawsuit.

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Editor-in-Chief Maryam Bacchus offers advice about traveling FEATURES and living abroad.

10 HUMOR

Spice up your holiday menu with recipes from the Humor staff.

December 7, 2023

Page 2

THE MISCELLANY NEWS EDITOR-IN-CHIEF MANAGING EDITOR CONTRIBUTING EDITORS

Maryam Bacchus Charlotte Robertson Sandro Lorenzo William Sorge Monika Sweeney Sufana Noorwez SENIOR EDITORS Sashinka Poor Clara Alger NEWS EDITORS Makenna Monaghan Allison Lowe ASSISTANT NEWS EDITOR Allen Hale ARTS EDITORS Jesse Koblin Emma Lawrence ASSISTANT ARTS EDITOR Carina Cole FEATURES EDITOR Luke Jenkins ASSISTANT FEATURES EDITOR Lev Winickoff ASSISTANT OPINIONS EDITOR Nicholas Tillinghast HUMOR EDITOR Nick Villamil SPORTS EDITOR Caris Lee ASSISTANT SPORTS EDITOR Igor Martiniouk PHOTO EDITOR Molly Delahunty DESIGN EDITOR Amelia Gracie ASSISTANT DESIGN EDITOR Julia Weinberg COPY EDITOR Anabel Lee ASSISTANT COPY EDITOR Karen Mogami GRAPHICS EDITOR Tori Kim ASSISTANT GRAPHICS EDITOR Sadie Keesbury CROSSWORD EDITOR Olivia Kahn SOCIAL MEDIA MANAGERS Richard Lu Catherine Borthwick LIVE EVENTS CHAIR Kai Chang WEBMASTERS Michael Yang Britt Andrade REPORTERS, COLUMNISTS Cassandra Brook Henry France Yaksha Gummadapu Anna Kozloski Gwen Ma Oliver Stewart Josie Wenner Andrew Chu CARTOONISTS Ian Watanabe Kathryn Carvel COPY STAFF Darja Coutts Grace Finke Willa Jewitt Claire Miller Ailynn O’Neill Emma Sandrew Emma San Filippo Edward Welch Morgan

CORRECTION POLICY The Miscellany News will only accept corrections for any misquotes, misrepresentations or factual errors for an article within the semester it is printed.

The Miscellany News is not responsible for the views presented within its Opinions pages. Staff editorials are the only articles that reflect the opinion of a two-thirds majority of the Editorial Board.

Karen Mogami/The Miscellany News.

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

December 7, 2023

NEWS

Page 3

Students hold sit-in for international day of action Continued from SIT-IN on page 1 books. An SJP organizer thought this was the most beautiful part of the sit-in, explaining, “Using that time, while making a political statement, to educate yourself as well, is showing that these actions are important, but political education is also so important.”

At 2:45 p.m., the final rush of the day when many students get out of class, participants transitioned to a die-in for about 30 minutes, laying down on the floor and holding or shaking the pamphlets above themselves.

The student organizer explained that the effort to involve many student organizations was both to build solidarity and collaborate among organizations, as well as to protect students, explaining that it would be harder for administration to potentially target organizers for disciplinary action.

One co-sponsor of the sit-in, Vassar Voices for Planned Parenthood, commented, “VVPP stands for bodily autonomy and access to resources. This mission is aligned with the intention of the SJP sit-in. The sitin promoted the distribution and access to information which is one of the reasons we

decided to co sponsor the event.”

Vassar’s African Student Union, another co-sponsor, wrote, “The African Student Union Executive Board chose to sponsor the Students for Justice in Palestine sit-in because we acknowledge that there has been a lack of action done on the part of the Vassar administration to listen to the demands of SJP. In order to force administration, as well as other students on campus, to hear our collective voice, a sit-in was the perfect opportunity to do so.”

After SJP’s first protest this year, the walkout on Oct. 25, organizers faced re-

ports to the Bias Incident Report Team and accusations of violation of Community Expectations due to concern that the protest, particularly the chants and slogans, had antisemitic connotations and left community members feeling unsafe. SJP maintains that these charges are unjust and submitted an appeal with over 20 student testimonies saying that the protest did not cause a substantial disruption, as well as an alumnae/i letter with 800 signatures urging President Bradley to drop the charges.

There is also a faculty letter to President Bradley urging her to drop the charges.

Clara Alger/The Miscellany News.

Come to the next VSA Town Hall to enjoy live music and free food On the night of Wednesday, Dec. 6, the second-ever VSA organized the “Town Hall of Fame,” which was open to all students. This event had a live performance from the indie folk band Fowlmouth and free catered food.

It is the second time the VSA has organized a Town Hall of Fame, where we partner with a student performance group to bring you free food and live entertainment and share what the VSA is currently working on. The first time, the VSA collaborated with the Night Owls and provided

food from Bacio’s Ristorante. The VSA wants to become more transparent, so we are making Town Halls a regular occurrence to allow you to get to know your representatives. This event is a great place to ask questions and raise concerns that the VSA may be able to address. Your representatives are here to help!

If you missed it this time, the next Town Hall of Fame will be in the Spring. If you want to check out Fowlmouth, you can find them on Instagram at @fowlmouth.band or listen to their music on Spotify. If you have questions about this event or want to know when we are doing it again, please contact vsacomms@vassar.edu or follow our Instagram @vassarvsa

Committee was composed of five Association officials from the Senate and Cabinet, co-chaired by Class of 2025 Senators Mariano De Carvalho and Emmie Jensen. The ROC Review Committee has finished collecting survey data about their experiences with the ROC from Vassar students.

They are preparing to send its final report, including a list of suggestions for improving services. The ROC Review Committee will send their report to Vassar students via email. If you have any questions, please email Class of ’25 Senators Mariano DeCarvalho (mdecarvalho@vassar.edu) or Emmie Jensen (ejensen@vassar.edu).

Final Report on the Residential Operations Center

This calendar is a resource for students who want to know what is happening outside the campus in Poughkeepsie. Starting next semester, the Student Growth and Engagement Office will collaborate with us and fund some of the events, so keep an eye out.

This past semester, the VSA created the ROC Review Committee to assess the functioning of the Residential Operations Center (ROC), which provides many day-to-day services to the Vassar residential community. The

Community Calendar

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

Casework:

Contact Us:

December Community Calendar:

NEWS

Page 4

December 7, 2023

College heads to court over equal pay lawsuit Benjamin Savel Guest Reporter

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n Monday, Nov. 27, Vassar College faced off for the first time in federal court with the legal team of the five female professors alleging wage discrimination.

The court hearing, held in White Plains, New York, determined whether or not Judge Cathy Seibel would hear the College’s attempt to dismiss many, but not all, of the professors’ claims. The College’s request was granted, and over the next three months, the College and professors will submit evidence to the judge. The College’s request pushes the trial start date to late February 2024 at the earliest.

Since the last update on the lawsuit, discussion on the issue has continued to saturate campus community. In The Miscellany News, two more Letters to the Editor have been published in support of the professors.

Now, a total of 142 Vassar professors, nearly half of the College’s faculty, have signed on in support of the lawsuit. The signatories come from faculty in all academic departments besides Economics.

Students have also rallied behind their professors over the last few months. The Miscellany News, using an online point-based artificial intelligence (AI) model and satellite imagery, determined that at least 600 students, around a quarter of the student body, were at HearUsOut’s protest on Sept. 13 in support of the female professors. HearUsOut, a student organization dedicated to spreading awareness of the lawsuit, continues to lead protests outside of the admissions building.

HearUsOut, in a communication to The Misc last week, expressed disappointment with the College’s motion to dismiss the professors. “HearUsOut is continually disappointed by the college’s decisions: they are remaining dedicated to dismissing the case entirely. This choice is an affront to the plaintiffs, the other professors, and the hundreds of students who have encouraged Vassar to settle.” The group also stated that it plans to

continue to take action in support of the professors. “Moving forwards, we are planning on disseminating more information about the case. We are also planning more collective action, to remind the college that we still stand with our professors and believe they deserve better.”

Less visibly, lawyers for both parties have been exchanging a storm of legal allegations at one another. In October, the College’s lawyers alleged that the professors’ claims under the Equal Pay Law were not permissible and should be dismissed. The College has since added three more lawyers to defend their case.

The next month, the professors’ lawyers forcefully responded, alleging that the College’s claims are backed by no evidence. In fact, they point out, three of the cases the college uses as evidence do not even mention the Equal Pay Law. They wrote that “the College’s mistaken understanding of the NY Equal Pay Law may stem from the fact that none of the [precedent] it cites actually analyzes that law.”

In one of the cases that does mention the Equal Pay Law, the woman’s sex discrimination claims were not dismissed.

President Elizabeth Bradley, in an email to The Miscellany News on Nov. 30, reiterated that the College is committed to pay equity.

“Vassar remains fully committed to fair and equal pay for all professors,” she stated. “Vassar also remains committed to pursuing a fair and appropriate resolution of the litigation.

Because the matter is in litigation, it is not appropriate for the College to comment further on this right now.”

However, the professors uphold that the College has refused to address its decades-long gender-based pay disparities, with the move to dismiss their claims being yet another instance of the College disregarding their concerns. “The College has known for many years that it has unlawfully paid men more than women, but it has for years rejected our overtures and refused to address this discrimination in any meaningful or substantive way,” the professors stated in their joint statement

published on Aug. 30. When asked more recently for comment, President Bradley wrote that the college cannot discuss pre-lawsuit efforts towards pay equity. “Both plaintiffs and Vassar are bound by confidentiality obligations regarding efforts made before the lawsuit, which is standard practice during such a process, so we are not able to provide any details about that.”

HearUsOut similarly expressed frustration at the discrepancy between the college’s statements of transparency, equity and resolution and their action to dismiss the professors’ claims. “Despite President Bradley’s claims of transparency, she has not spoken about the case in over a month,” the group stated.

“HearUsOut is still here and we are still standing for the equity that Vassar purports to care about.”

Michelle Lamy, an attorney for the professors, noted that community members concerned about pay disparities should not be concerned about the result of the court hearing on Monday. Although Judge Seibel allowed Vassar to attempt to dismiss some of the professors’ arguments, her move is standard

procedure in cases of this type. “It would have been unusual if the Court had not permitted Vassar to at least file its attempted motion to dismiss,” Lamy wrote in a communication to The Miscellany News.

It is important to note that even if Vassar’s motion succeeds, the lawsuit will still not be dismissed. Vassar is not attempting to dismiss the accusation that the College intentionally discriminated against the female professors.

As the case transitions into a new phase in the upcoming new year, the professors have reaffirmed their unwavering commitment to resolving Vassar’s gender pay gap. “Plaintiffs are disappointed with Vassar’s continued insistence on fighting—rather than embracing— their attempts to close the gender pay gap. But rest assured: they remain committed to that fight.”

Many students continue to stand in solidarity with their professors and will continue to do so until the lawsuit is resolved. “[The College wants] us to forget about their wrongdoings as the case drags on, but we will not,” HearUsOut stated. “We still stand with our professors and believe they deserve better.”

Igor Martiniouk/The Miscellany News.

Shower door installation alleviates concerns over privacy Allison Lowe

Assistant News Editor

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n Nov. 16, shower doors were installed around various bathrooms in Main House. Previously, the majority of bathrooms in the unrenovated sections of the dormitory had only had curtains as a protection for privacy in their showers. This presented a particular issue in the case of the so-called “lovers’ showers.”

The Main House Events Officer (HEO), Claire Gallion ’26, explained this phenomenon, stating, “There’s these ‘lovers’ showers’ that have a changing stall in the middle and they face each other with only a curtain separating them. In general, the shower privacy situation was pretty bad.”

Many students across the house expressed discomfort and stress surrounding this showering arrangement. “Last year, I felt like I didn’t have any privacy. It just sucked, because someone walked in on me my freshman year and it was scary,” said Yewon Kang ’26, who lived on the fourth floor of Main both this year and last year. “Every time I showered, I’d have to be on guard. If I heard someone walking towards me, I would have to hold the curtains.”

She further explained how the formation of two showers facing one another further exacerbated these stressors, saying, “Before this year, when [Main House Team] made a statement saying that you’re not allowed to shower when someone else is in the cross-shower…

you didn’t know when the other person was going to come out of the shower, so it was like a race against time where you either had to sprint or wait until they got out.”

Main House resident Iris Li ’26 echoed the inconveniences that came from the lack of shower stall doors, which often made other problems within the bathrooms worse. She stated, “One of our shower curtains was basically broken, but that was the shower with better water pressure, so I had to weigh the options of being exposed or having a better shower experience.”

The lack of lockable shower doors has been a matter of concern for students and student leaders for years. Sarah McNeil ’25, the former President of Main House, affirmed the efforts of the 2022-23 Main House Team to address the issue, explaining, “Last year, the lack of shower doors was a serious concern that was brought up at House Team on numerous occasions. We were not informed by Residential Life of the existence of any resources or ways to address these issues as it was deemed a facilities issue not within the purview of House Team.” She continued, “I’m so happy to see this year’s House Team work with the Vassar Student Association (VSA) to accomplish this longstanding goal, but it is unfortunate that this responsibility has come to House Teams to remedy.”

This year, student leaders on Main House Team further worked to resolve the issue.

Gallion was particularly impassioned after

learning about their appointment as Main’s HEO, saying, “When I found out I was going to be HEO, I was really determined to do something about it, because I feel like there’s such a discrepancy between the other houses.

Why do other houses have stalls while Main doesn’t?”

Gallion decided to speak with the Main House Advisor, Eva Fontanez, in order to see how they could work together to get doors installed around the showers throughout the house. They explained that they made enough noise in order to have Facilities Operations agree to do something. However, after some time passed without action, they decided to send follow ups in order to make sure the installation would take place.

The effort from Main House Team combined with that of the VSA in order to finally put the plan for lockable doors into action.

The VSA Senate passed a bill on the subject that affirmed the utmost importance of the safety, security and privacy of all students, faculty and staff. Calling upon this assertion, the bill advises that all future Vassar constructions include lockable doors for toilets and showers. Importantly, the Senate also made an official recommendation to the College for the lockable shower doors to be installed in Main. It was from this bill that the College was spurred to ensure that the action would be taken.

Gallion remarked on how the process ended up being more accessible than they expect-

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

ed. “It wasn’t as hard as I thought it was going to be,” they explained. “I thought the reason why we didn’t have shower doors was because maybe people had already been trying and nothing happened.” Because of this, it was exciting to see that the shower doors were installed in November.

Residents were also happy to have better means to protect their privacy. Li stated, “It was weird having just a shower curtain, because I felt much more exposed at times. Now I feel much more comfortable with the door.”

Gallion expressed how this development not only represented a huge win in terms of students’ rights to privacy and comfortable living conditions, but also a heartening perspective on the potential for students’ voices to create tangible change within their own lives.

They said, “At Vassar, when you want to get things done, especially with the houses, they do care about student opinion. It’s about activating that agency that you can have and empowering yourself to make some noise about things.”

Currently, a number of showers in Main remain doorless. While the smaller showers that face one another have stall doors, many of the larger accessible showers still only have a curtain. These showers face the entire bathroom, which continues to create concerns over student privacy while using them. Gallion and other student leaders hope to find a way to get doors installed around these showers as well.

ARTS

December 7, 2023

‘Saltburn’

reimagines

Maya Page

Guest Columnist

E

merald Fennell lured audiences to the theaters for her second feature film, “Saltburn,” with promises of a two-hour ode to Jacob Elordi. However, what follows the quiet academic tale and expectations of budding queer romance in the film’s first act is a series of increasingly outrageous displays of hedonism and excess. Elordi is magnetic as ever in his role as charming, uber-rich party boy Felix Catton in this languorous portrait of obsession; a far more swoon-worthy role, I would argue, than his recent performance as Elvis Presley in Sofia Coppola’s “Priscilla.”

But perhaps an even more alluring force is Barry Keoghan as Oliver Quick, the quiet outcast who becomes enraptured with Felix from across the halls at Oxford.

In 2006, Felix and his wealthy, good-looking circle command the Oxford campus. Oliver, with his quiet bookishness and less-fortunate background, is essentially invisible.

He watches Felix traverse their shared spaces with his larger-than-life persona, lingering on his rambunctious smile and the way the afternoon light washes over his body as he lies below a window. Oliver helps Felix get to class after his bike tire goes flat, a show of character that convinces Felix to begin to let this outsider into his world of carefree, coolguy debauchery. Their relationship grows more intimate, and after learning of Oliver’s difficult home life, Felix invites him to spend the summer at his sprawling English estate,

‘The

Saltburn, alongside his eccentric family and the scary butlers who roam the halls.

Fennell takes her time lavishing in the beauty of Saltburn’s grounds, its endless halls of artifacts and champagne-soaked evenings; but critics have widely rebuked her attempts to answer the questions her examination of wealth poses. Vulture critic Allison Wilmore goes so far as to say that “all [Fennell] can serve up is a twist that’s less eat the rich than be the rich.” It is true that Fennell’s critique fails to go much further beyond the sentiment that rich people are bad people. She forces us to sit with the discomfort of watching Felix and his family act completely detached from the real world, always nonchalant about even the most serious of matters. It becomes particularly eerie as they remain sitting straight-backed and smiling in their formal evening wear amidst the increasing intensity of violence and deceit as the film draws to a close.

I agree with the critics that Fennell fails to bring her class critique home in the resolution of the film. She misses a number of opportunities, most notably when Felix’s cousin and Oliver’s tutorial classmate, Farleigh, invites Felix to acknowledge the race of his butlers—a subject that she never revisits.

Where “Saltburn” excels, however, is in its depiction of desire and obsession, which is enough to make it a worthwhile watch.

This is to say that “Saltburn” is not devoid of meaning; while it is undeniably impeccable in its aesthetic choices, it is not a film that is empty beyond its looks.

Hunger Richard Lu

Social Media Manager

A

few days ago, I decided that my final MEDS 160: “Approaches to Media Studies” paper would be about “The Hunger Games.” It was perfect timing with the newest film in the series, “The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes” being released only three weeks ago. My friends and I had the pleasure of watching the film in theaters on the day of its U.S. release, Nov. 17. We were blown away by the phenomenal storytelling and memorable characters, which transported us back to our childhoods and evoked nostalgia for the earlier films and books. In the words of one of my friends: “Cast? HOT. Music? SLAPS.” [SPOILERS AHEAD] Like a phoenix rising from the ashes, “The Hunger Games” franchise returned with their latest installment titled, “The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes” on Nov. 5. Since its release, the prequel has grossed over $200 million in box office sales globally according to Fortune, captivating fans with its unforgettable story about future president of Panem Coriolanus Snow, played by Tom Blyth, and winner of the 10th Hunger Games, Lucy Gray Baird, played by Rachel Zegler.

The film was separated into three distinct parts. Part One focused on the circumstances of the tribute mentorship program devised by the Capitol prior to the Games.

Part Two followed the actual events of the 10th Hunger Games eventually culminating in Lucy Gray’s victory. Part Three explored Snow’s life in District 12 with Lucy Gray after his expulsion for cheating during the Games by headmaster Casca Highbottom, played by Peter Dinklage. I appreciated the decision to split the movie into three sections, making the film more digestible and entertaining.

the

Games’

Each section had its own unique charm, which made the immersion into the story much more fulfilling. My favorite section of the movie definitely has to be the second because it depicts the Games themselves.

I especially loved the high intensity backand-forth shots between the scenes in the Games and the reactions within the greenroom, almost as if I was watching a film within a film. Ironically, I did not enjoy the transitions between the different parts of the movie. They were extremely jarring and incohesive; the transition between Part Two and Part Three exemplified this issue, as it seemed those parts could have easily become their own separate movies. This is a popular criticism of the film, with fans arguing that the pacing was off-putting and rushed, ultimately detracting from the book’s premise.

Despite its inconsistencies, I thoroughly enjoyed the movie for its quirks and peculiar storytelling strategies.

Although Snow and Lucy Gray were the leads of the story, I believe the foremost star of the film has to be weatherman-turned-Hunger Games host Lucretius “Lucky” Flickerman, played by Jason Schwartzman. “The Hunger Games” is not known for its comedy due to its commentaries on various socio-political issues, so Flickerman’s presence was a breath of fresh air. Flickerman became the center of attention, lightening the bleak atmosphere of the film and causing everyone in my theater to laugh at his nonsensical comments. Schwartzman most definitely brought the whimsical personality of Flickerman to life, delivering witty and blunt remarks at every opportunity and taking full advantage of his role. My favorite quote from the character has to be his unexpected response to Lucy Gray’s last effort to collect sponsors: “How wonderful that we all get to be here for someone’s final performance.”

Flickerman serves as a satirical character in a crowd of many serious characters, acting

Page 5

21st-century

Obsession is a hallmark of Gothic literature, which is currently having a renaissance. Many reviews cite “Brideshead Revisited” as a clear reference for “Saltburn,” though Emerald Fennell also stated in an interview that she took inspiration for one of the film’s most striking scenes from “Wuthering Heights.” It is no coincidence that Fennell felt inspired to draw upon these novels when the most popular contemporary literature in recent years has maintained a similar Gothic sensibility: stories of obsession (all with the same homoerotic undercurrent as “Saltburn”) including Melissa Broder’s “Milkfed,” Jen Beagin’s “Big Swiss” and the widely beloved Otessa Moshfegh’s novels including “Eileen” with its soon-tobe-released adaptation starring Anne Hathaway.

With novels like these shaping the literary canon of today, it is only natural that films like “Saltburn” begin to delve into the Gothic territory. There is a reason we tend to love these stories; they are some of the most revelatory about human nature, daring to explore its depths further than the mainstream is comfortable with. While the classic Gothic novels scandalized and titillated audiences by suggesting sexual desire, the modern Gothic takes it to a new level with increasingly graphic depictions of acts of violence and (usually queer) sexuality. The visuality of film serves to bring these representations of repressed desire out of the private conscience and into public consideration.

Just as “Wuthering Heights” reveals the

re-enters as both comedic relief for the audience and propaganda for the Capitol citizens.

In spite of the worldbuilding not being at all similar to the original movies, the franchise remains linked through its storytelling, characters and, most importantly, nostalgia.

Other than Schwartzman, I have to commend the acting of the lesser known actors and actresses in the movie. An aspect that I believe “The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes” succeeds in is the attention placed on its characters, especially its tributes who are forced to fight to the death in the Games. Unlike the previous movies, which had most of the tribute-specific scenes deleted, this film placed more emphasis on the fallen tributes, providing them much more character development and screen time. Some examples include District 7 girl Lamina, played by Irene Böhm, who had an entire fight sequence dedicated to her death and District 11 boy Reaper Ash, played by Dimitri Abold, who had a scene devoted to his rebellious act against the Capitol. District 4 girl Coral, played by Mackenzie Lansing, also deserves praise for bringing the savagery of the Games’ main antagonist into the limelight. The representation of disability in the film is admirable as well, most notably with District 10 girl Wovey, played by Sofia Sanchez who has Down Syndrome. This again contrasts the previous movies, which rarely showcase visible disabilities in their

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

Gothic

intimate details of Heathcliff and Catherine Earnshaw’s yearning for one another and the devastation of their fate, “Saltburn” examines how desire shapes Oliver and his connection to Felix. Oliver is defined by his longing—for companionship, for understanding, for prosperity—which drives him to new extremes in Gothic stunts (yes, even beyond Heathcliff digging up Cathy’s body).

Barry Keoghan delivers an outstanding performance and leaves audiences stunned at every turn by morphing from the outcast we can all identify with into a cunning agent of chaos, driven by a hunger that might just be present somewhere inside all of us.

So, it is true—“Saltburn” does not reveal much about the class system—but it is a fascinating character study that is more relevant to us than we might think. It would be a disservice to Fennell to claim that her film has nothing to say when it presents such a poignant rewriting of the Gothic imagination.

It seems Fennell set a certain expectation for herself with her first film, “Promising Young Woman,” by making her political messaging the central focus. “Saltburn” reigns equally worthy of appreciation for its performances, its thematic significance and, yes, even for its aesthetics—we should be able to appreciate them even if Fennell does not say as much as she could about eating the rich.

Hopefully the final dance scene set to Sophie Ellis-Bextor’s 2000s pop hit “Murder on the Dance Floor” featuring a nude Keoghan proves to be a spectacle we can all let ourselves enjoy.

the

arena

tributes. The inclusion of visible disability further highlights the cruelty of the Games, showing that no one is safe from its grip. Although it can be argued that this movie inherently focuses more on the tributes due to the events in the book, I still applaud director Francis Lawrence for highlighting the side characters and emphasizing their stories.

Despite being set 64 years in the past, “The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes” still feels connected to “The Hunger Games” universe. This is partly due to Snow’s presence in the movie, bridging the gap between canon and headcanon stories.

His inclusion contextualizes the events of the 74th and 75th Hunger Games, providing fans with a better understanding of his change from a hopeful young man to a sadistic authority figure. However, the connection to the movie franchise can also be attributed to the symbolic referencing of the original movies, which reveals itself in the similarities between Lucy Gray and Katniss Everdeen, the two female District 12 Hunger Games winners, and their involvement with Snow at different periods of his life. The mockingjay is mentioned countless times in the movie as well, offering some much needed history on this symbol of rebellion and highlighting its personal significance for Snow in later films. In spite of the worldbuilding not being at all similar to the original movies, the franchise remains linked through its storytelling, characters and, most importantly, nostalgia.

It was amazing to see “The Hunger Games” franchise come to the big screen again after a decade of its absence. Despite some changes from the book, I still enjoyed the movie with all of my heart. Eight years ago, I thought the franchise was over as the screen for “The Hunger Games: Mockingjay - Part 2” faded to black. But now in writing this article, I realize that it is just the beginning. Until next time.

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December 7, 2023

Students dance the night away at the Yule Ball Continued from YULE BALL on page 1 rang true at Vassar as well. In the source material, the Yule Ball is a night of romance and fun. The Harry Potter element of this night seemed to take a backseat to the dance itself: “Oh, this is a Harry Potter thing?” asked Julian Joaquin Vasquez ’27. “I genuinely had no idea. I thought it was just, like…

Vassar prom.” The Yule Ball definitely could be considered Vassar’s “prom.” Love was in the air, and many hard launches were witnessed on the dance floor. Nothing says sexy like Harry Potter.

The ball wrapped up at midnight, despite many murmurs from attendees wishing they could dance for just a little longer.

Overall, the Yule Ball was a perfect finale to the first semester of the academic year and a chance for students to get some much needed time away from the stress of finals.

Vassar

students

Yaksha Gummadapu Columnist

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Image courtesy of Barbara Nieves-Brito ’27.

ver October Break, three students—Lavanya Manickam ’25, Bianca Niyonzima ’27, and Zerah Ruiz ’25—and two professors—Professor Himadeep Muppidi and Professor Candice Lowe Swift—traveled to Kolkata, India with Vassar Club of South Asia (VCSA). They were able to experience Durga Puja, a widely celebrated Hindu festival where artists and communities put together pandals, temporarily decorated shrines in honor of the Hindu goddess Durga. Growing up in India, I experienced the electric environment of Durga Puja and the various ways it is celebrated throughout the country, all while incorporating artistic expression as an intrinsic part of the festival.

I was curious to interact with fellow students and understand how their unique perspectives informed their time in Kolkata and the various pandals they visited. After multiple frantic emails and venturing through every common space in a crowded Davison House, I interviewed Manickam, Niyonzima and

take

Ruiz to discuss their travels.

The days leading up to the trip were chaotic. Each student had come across the opportunity in distinct ways. This semester, Manickam is a student in Professor Muppidi’s POLI 262: “India, China and the State of Post-coloniality” class, where he shared the application via Moodle. Ruiz has a friend in the same class who told her about the trip, so she asked Professor Muppidi if she could apply and was permitted to do so. Niyonzima, on the other hand, explained, “The opportunity kind of just fell into my lap.

I was just looking for work-study jobs.” She ended up landing one as a research assistant for Professor Candice Lowe Swift, who was going on the trip. “I did not assume that I was going to come with her… She said ‘Let’s try and see if we can get you some funding to go to India,’ and I was like ‘I would love to!’”

After gaining approval for the trip, the students began sending emails to procure travel and accommodation funding. Manickam shared that various parts of the Vassar community played a role in this process. “Vassar Club of South Asia, which

a

trip

to

were alumnae/i in South Asia, funded a lot of it. And we also applied to EPI [Engaged Pluralism Initiative], which gave us money.

We also got the Academic Enrichment Fund from the Dean of Studies. And I think the Center for Career Education, the Office of Religious and Spiritual Life [and Contemplative Practices], and also the department of International Studies contributed,” Manickam said. With all the logistics figured out and plans confirmed, Manickam, Ruiz and Niyonzima flew out to celebrate Durga Puja with the rest of Kolkata.

Once they landed, they were immediately immersed in the festival and able to visit many pandals. The diversity in the pandals stuck out to them, especially Ruiz, who was fascinated with the various depictions of the goddess Durga. “There were pandals where Durga was the center, and also, the ones that were made by Mass Art had themes of epic foods. And then there is one that was about the destruction of historical art sites.

There were so many beautiful yet tragic things [depicted in the pandals].” Manickam agreed and added that the intricate details of each pandal amazed her. She reflected on a pandal that touched her which honored Bangladeshi immigrants in the community.

“Apparently, when you migrate, you take a little bit of clay from the earth where you are from with you, so [the artist] used the clay from the migrants in the artwork itself. We think America is so great, but look at what these small communities are doing on their own. It was the most genuine community engagement.”

Another interesting aspect of this trip was the chance to interact with the international Vassar community. Many alumnae/i in South Asia and India were also present for the program and spent a lot of time with the three current students. Niyonzima, being

Kolkata

the youngest on the trip, said, “I was talking to all these grownups and just being able to find camaraderie and friendship with them based on the fact that…they used to go to the school I went to.” She went on to say that her favorite part was hearing about what Vassar was like in the past and comparing it to her current experience. Ruiz added that she appreciated the warmth of the alumnae/i who were native to Kolkata and their promise that as a Brewer, she would always have a home in Kolkata.

Coming home from the trip and still processing the rich culture and art they had crammed into an intensive four days, I asked about how this trip served them, and in turn, our community as a whole. Manickam expressed an interest in bringing students and scholars she met to Poughkeepsie, increasing the number of global perspectives on campus. Niyonzima and Ruiz emphasized the importance of Vassar facilitating more of these international trips and the unique role it has in broadening students’ horizons.

Niyonzima even mentioned how these trips can help diminish the persistence of the infamous “Vassar bubble.” “To have other kids have the opportunity to go on international trips and meet new people and have all these new perspectives would be ideal. Hopefully, we start a trend of students being able to do this.” Ruiz, who never saw herself traveling during her time at Vassar due to her family’s concerns with safety while traveling, spoke of how having a school-sanctioned trip changed that. “I was really thankful that [her family’s] initial reaction was, ‘This is a great opportunity, you should go!’ because I was going with Vassar, and I was going with Vassar students and professors. Having more trips through Vassar can let students who would not have otherwise traveled before know that traveling is a possibility.”

Images courtesy of Lavanya Manickam ’25.

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

December 7, 2023

FEATURES

Page 7

Hot and cold: Retrospects from seven months abroad Maryam Bacchus Editor-in-Chief

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or the better part of this year, I have been living out of a suitcase. This summer, I had the opportunity to live and work in Puerto Rico as an undergraduate researcher at the University of Puerto Rico, Río Piedras (UPRRP). I returned home to New York for two weeks before flying across the ocean to Denmark, where I have been studying abroad at the Danish Institute for Study Abroad (DIS). The past few months have been a whirlwind of culture shock and introspection as I learn how to be an adult. Both experiences taught me valuable lessons. As another cohort of students prepares to relocate for summer work or go abroad, I have compiled some advice to hopefully make your experience better.

Do not spare comfort items When I first walked into my apartment in Denmark and opened the program-provided bedding, I instantly thought back to two days prior when I consciously took my bedding out of my suitcase and left it in my closet. I missed my colorful cotton sheets that smelled like the fabric softener that my mother, my aunts and myself have all used for years. I spend a lot of time in my room and often have trouble sleeping, so having the familiarity of my own bedding in a new space helps me feel comfortable.

Beyond bringing items from home, being abroad taught me the value of investing in your space. I purchased a rug, linen bedding to match and two extra pillows. When my sister came to visit, she also brought me Downy scent boosters that smell like my fabric softener. These items combined have helped me feel at home, which helps my overall wellbeing and productivity.

Befriend locals The highlight of my experience in Puerto Rico was spending my free time with a blended group of locals and other American students. The locals taught us what tourist traps to avoid, the best lesser-known spots and how to improve our Spanish.

They helped us to adjust to the pace of our work environments and went above and beyond to ensure we were knowledgeable of and comfortable in our surroundings. In the process, we also became good friends, teaching each other much about our different backgrounds.

Google Calendar is your best friend From volunteer shifts to planned calls across time zones, Google Calendar has been a staple of my time abroad. Being abroad often feels like a balancing act between two lives: One is rooted in the reality that is my hometown and college,

Being abroad often feels like a balancing act between two lives: One is rooted in the reality that is my hometown and college, while the other is fantastical and takes the shape of whichever temporary home I am living in.

while the other is fantastical and takes the shape of whichever temporary home I am living in. Google Calendar helps maintain both of these realities. In addition to all of my classes, I add meetings, and even meal times, including suggestions of where to eat within the calendar. Perhaps my favorite feature since going abroad has been sending calendar invites to my friends to officially block out times to catch up. Not only does it serve as a reminder throughout the week and on the day of, but it also eliminates the need to add or subtract the hours between us, as the web app configures the correct time zone all in one place.

Call your mom Growing up, my nanny (grandma) would call our house every day at around 11 a.m. to talk to my mom. They would exchange pleasantries and often started the conversation by asking what the other had cooked that day or week. I did not

do. Walking will help you create a mental map of the area, which is potentially life saving. In Denmark, I typically commute via bus. DIS provides students with digital commuter cards that are checked periodically by public transportation controllers.

While environmentally a great alternative to paper tickets, this system assumes a charged phone throughout the day. Admittedly, I have a chronically half-charged phone. After one long day at school, I found my phone was almost dead. I spontaneously decided to walk home by following my bus route. Much to my surprise, the route had been committed to memory solely through oddly-shaped buildings I noticed while commuting. On my walk, I came to

appreciate the many stores that also lined the route and realized that the areas I was commuting through were quite pretty.

In 2022, I swore up and down that 2023 would be my “travel year.” Fortunately, I accomplished my goal. When thinking about it ahead of time, I often romanticized it and never considered that I would still feel sad or struggle. No matter where I go, I am still me, just in a different place. I have found that it is important to remember and maintain that while living in the discomfort of my “travel year” not being a perfect, onthe-go, fun time. Looking back, everything I experienced became valuable in one way or another.

When I first walked into my apartment in Denmark and opened the program-provided bedding, I instantly thought back to two days prior when I consciously took my bedding out of my suitcase and left it in my closet. understand the value of a simple conversation like that until I found myself asking my mom the same question when I called her from abroad. We would often converse about what ingredients I had adapted to customize cultural recipes, and I would ask for advice on how to make them better.

Beyond cooking, I would talk about feeling stressed or tired, and my mom would catch me up on the happenings at work and home. These simple updates sometimes made me sad that I was not there to experience them, but I eventually came to appreciate our hour-long mini tea-spilling sessions, as they give me much to look forward to when I return home.

If it will help you survive, it is priceless In both Puerto Rico and Denmark, I found myself constantly thinking, “Is this purchase worth it?” To determine whether I should bend the budget, I would often consider whether it would improve my mental or physical health. If the answer was yes, it was immediately affordable. In Puerto Rico, I would often use the $3 cup of coffee on the way to campus as a motivator to get out of my apartment. I know $3 does not seem like much, but it adds up over the course of two months. However, the coffee was the best I have ever had, and it always made me more focused, which made me happier. Therefore, it was always worth it. In Denmark, I often got snacks or food from 7-Eleven, partially because their selection is like no other, but also because it was a relatively inexpensive breakfast or lunch and a way to make sure I got a meal in while running between classes.

Walk everywhere This advice not only applies for wherever you might live, but for any travel you

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

Maryam Bacchus/The Miscellany News.

HUMOR

Page 8

December 7, 2023

Breaking News From the desk of Nicholas Tillinghast, Humor Editor

Sixth-grade class touring campus proclaims Vassar students have “zero drip” and “no swag” New classes drop right before Phase Two Registration Josie Wenner

Enrolled in Zero Credits

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re-registration screwed you over? Didn’t get your top two, three, four, five, six, seven classes? Don’t fret! Several new classes have been added to the course catalogue for you to consider for this spring.

SOCI 207: “The Modern Relationship and its Paradigms.” This course seeks to investigate modern relationships and their context in our ever-changing world. Students will learn through many mediums: books, films, television and going up to people holding hands on campus. The course culminates in the successful acquisition and maintenance of a romantic partner. Topics include: why beautiful women always have hideous boyfriends, when it’s appropriate to soft and hard launch, the masc shortage, what gives men the audacity and more.

MATH 308: “Girl Math.” An exploration of the complex and little-understood field of mathematics known as “girl math.” Topics include: how long you can stay in bed before getting up to face the horrors, the appropriate amount of time to respond to a text, what 50 degrees outside really means, and more.

PHIL 212: “Why?” MEDS 267: “Lying on the Internet.” An

inquisitive seminar on the best methods of lying on the internet. Students will investigate key moments in fibbing online (like when Ellen said she was never invited to Dakota’s birthday party) and analyze the instances as well as the public’s reaction.

As a final project, students will tell a fictional story on the internet and attempt to persuade as many people as possible that it is true. Points will be given based on believability of the story, number of accusations of lying and strength of defense against ac-

As a final project, students will tell a fictional story on the internet and attempt to persuade as many people as possible that it is true. Points will be given based on believability of the story, number of accusations of lying and strength of defense aginst accusations.

cusations.

ECON 350: “Printing More Money.”

We’ve all wondered: Why can’t we just print more money? This course investigates a bold new theory: What if we can? Students will engage in discussions on what inflation really means, and if devaluing currency is actually as big of a deal as everyone says it is. The class will visit the U.S. Mint to see how money is made, and also take one of their machines back to campus. Students will then circulate more money into Vassar’s economy and study the ramifications.

DANC 105: “Whip Nae Nae.” “Now watch me whip (kill it) Now watch me nae nae (okay) Now watch me whip, whip Watch me nae nae (watch me do it) Now watch me whip (kill it) Watch me nae nae (okay) Now watch me whip, whip Watch me nae nae (can you do it?)

Now watch me” ANTH 151: “A Twenty-First Century Woman.” This course delves into the question: what do girls do these days? Coursework includes: McDonalds, charging phones, twerking, being bisexual, eating hot chip and lying.

POLI 108: “Middle School Elections.”

Middle school student council elections are some of the biggest campaigns running in

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

America today. Students will pick a middle schooler running for one of four positions (president, vice president, secretary or treasurer) and will attempt to campaign-manage their student toward success.

Graded assignments include: debates,

The class will visit the U.S. Mint to see how money is made, and also take one of their machines back to campus. Students will then circulate more money into Vassar’s economy and study the ramifications. campaign posters, morning announcements and smear campaigns. The course will be graded on a curve: students who successfully manage their candidate towards a victory will receive the highest grades. The remaining students will be graded based on the number of votes their candidate gets.

December 7, 2023

HUMOR

Page 9

Image courtesy of Evan Sweitzer ‘25.

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

HUMOR

Page 10

December 7, 2023

Baking a Southern woman’s spicy turkey lasagna (for Santa) Margaret Arkansas Silent G

H

owdy y’all! One of my favorite times of the year is the season of giving, even the year God gave me two broken hips on Christmas Eve. Tipsy on eggnog and Hennessy, those stairs to the basement fridge to get chip dip seemed so easy to walk down. That was until my legs slipped out from under me and I careened down the stairs. Not one person at the party noticed I was gone for a good half an hour, not even my husband. That was strange, especially since he’s really into chip dip.

I remember that day like it was yesterday. It was the day after our dog Skittles passed away quietly in the kitchen, which was earth-shattering. He was such a good German Shepherd and the kids loved him. He made our beautiful mid-century house feel like home, which burned down in an electrical fire that same night. Luckily we were all in the hospital at the time, since I was getting hip surgery.

Christmases like that remind me of how things were during the Iran hostage crisis.

What a disheartening 444 days. America was in such a divisive state–should President Carter have taken a more confrontational approach to retrieving the hostages or was negotiation the right way to go? If it were me in the Oval Office, I would have made those Iranians some of my famous spicy turkey lasagna.

As a proud Southern Woman, every Christmas Eve (except when my hips are broken) I make Spicy Turkey Lasagna for Santa when he comes and delivers his presents.

It’s been a nice 20-year tradition with my three boys, Xaxton, Mikey and Larper. One year, when my eldest son, Larper, asked me, “Why must we always make Lasagna for San-

Cooking Miriam Finkelstein Mensch and Bubbe

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y Vey! Here I am. Another Hanukkah has come and I have to make the brisket because my son decided to marry a shiksa.

And he had the chutzpah to come up to me and ask me to make one. “Oh, mom, you make such a good brisket. I really loved it during all of our Hanukkah meals growing up.” A real pain in my tuchus, you know?

I told him, I’m not making the brisket this year. I made the gefilte fish at Passover. I’m already making the latkes and talking the Rabbi into coming to our dinner. If I make one more dish, I’ll be schvitzing from all the overwork. You know, the Maccabees had eight days of light, but, because I told my son no, all I had eight days was eight days of kvetching. Oy Vey. And I’m a mensch, okay?

I love mitzvot and even though I originally said no to my son, how could I keep saying no to my little bubeleh? Just thinking about the man he’s grown up into is making me all verklempt. So I said “Fine, I’ll make the brisket.” You know, I’ve had 40 years of this mishegoss, what’s one more? Now I have to shlep all the way to the butchers and back.

ta? Why can’t we just make him cookies like the rest of the families on the street?” I got real close to him and I said, “Santa’s not gonna be around much longer if he keeps eating all these cookies. What he needs is a Southern woman’s spicy lasagna.”

8. Let rest for about a week.

9. Set out for Santa :) Santa will be sure to enjoy this nice homecooked meal. One quick note: A lot of people tell me that they go light on “Demonic Kyle’s

Ass Obliterator” hot sauce, claiming it makes their eyes water, “in a pepper spray sort of way.” DO NOT SKIMP. Santa will appreciate it greatly. I hope you all have a happy holiday!

Avoid those basement stairs!

Prep Time: 7 hrs Cook Time: 14 mins Servings: 36, or 1 Santa Ingredients: 1 pound of mashed turkey burger 5 fists of garlic 3 bean 1 can of “Funky Greg’s Spaghetti Sauce” 1 cup water 1 teaspoon “Funky Greg’s Spice of Italy” 3 lasagna noodles 124 ounces ricotta cheese 1 egg carton 6 slices of American cheese 1 bottle of “Demonic Kyle’s Ass Oblitera tor” hot sauce Instructions: 1. Prepare ingredients.

2. Cook the turkey meat, garlic and bean.

3. Add “Funky Greg’s Spaghetti Sauce” and “Funky Greg’s Spice of Italy.”

4. Add “Demonic Kyle’s Ass Obliterator” Hot Sauce.

4. Bring water to a boil. Cook lasagna noodles in boiling water until soft.

5. In a mixing bowl, combine ricotta cheese and all 12 eggs.

6. Arrange the layers. Meat sauce, ricot ta, noodle, American cheese. Good Job! 7. Microwave one minute.

a

brisket

And to the bakery to buy some sufganiyot.

And I have to get my hair done in the middle because I can’t look like a schlub. But, you know, as I said before, I’m a mensch. What can I do?

This brisket, if you really want to do it right, you’re going to have been taught by your bubbe. But, for those of you whose families didn’t make an investment in the most important skill in life (using brisket to bring families together, but most importantly to win favor with Rabbis), you’re going to like this recipe. This is not for the weak of heart.

You’re going to be covered in schmutz by the end. Head to toe. You’ll be schvitzing and, if you’re a klutz, you’re not going to make it. I would advise you to give up now. You’re going to try, but you’re going to end up with bupkes. Maybe next year. Probably not though.

You’re going to need meat from the best butcher within a 20 mile radius. You’re going to need seasonings and vegetables. You know, all hands on deck, including God. You’ll be saying “Baruch atah adonai, please help me make this brisket.” But, you know, even though it’s a pain in the tuchus, you’ll end up with a real beautiful dish. Not some little nosh like the lazy people who bring

Nicholas Tillinghast/The Miscellany News.

for

my

kugel. You’ll have made a real meal. Well, my kids are calling and asking me if I can bring a Challah too, so here’s the recipe for the brisket. Oy Vey! I’m going to need some Manischewitz after this!

Ingredients: One 5-pound Whole Brisket 2 teaspoons salt Freshly ground pepper to taste 1 garlic clove, peeled 2 tablespoons vegetable oil 3 onions, peeled and diced One 10-ounce can tomatoes, undrained 2 cups red wine 2 stalks celery with the leaves, chopped 1 bay leaf 1 sprig fresh thyme 1 sprig fresh rosemary 1/4 cup chopped parsley 6 to 8 carrots, peeled and sliced on the diagonal Directions: Preheat the oven to 325°F (160°C).

Pat the meat dry. Sprinkle it with salt and pepper and rub it with garlic. Heat the oil in a Dutch oven or large skillet, add the brisket,

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

Bubeleh

and sear on both sides. Remove from the heat.

Place the onions in a large casserole or Dutch oven. Top with the beef, fatty side up.

Add the tomatoes and their juices, the red wine, celery, bay leaf, thyme, and rosemary to the casserole.

Cover and bake for about 3 hours, basting often with pan juices. Uncover, add the parsley and carrots, and bake, uncovered, until the carrots are cooked, about 30 minutes more. To test for doneness, stick a fork in the flat (thinner or leaner end of the brisket).

When there is a light pull on the fork as it is removed from the meat, it is “fork tender.”

Refrigerate the brisket in its pan juices, or gravy, overnight so that the fat can be easily skimmed from the surface before serving.

Preheat the oven to 350°F (175°C). Trim all the visible fat from the cold meat. Place it, with what was the fat side down, on a cutting board. Look for the grain—that is, the muscle lines of the brisket—and, with a sharp knife, cut across the grain. Place the sliced meat in a roasting pan. Skim the fat from the surface of the gravy and warm it over medium heat.

Pour the hot gravy over the meat, cover, and reheat in the oven for 45 minutes.

December 7, 2023

HUMOR

Page 11

This Christmas ham and sausage Jell-O salad is delish!

Nancy Grossalad Jell-O Journalist

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n Christmas Eve last year I was staring at my daughter-in-law as she lay on a nightmarish bed of amniotic fluid, her own excrement and afterbirth. My grandbaby had just ripped her way into this world and she was about to rip my family apart too.

I never liked my daughter-in-law. From the moment we met she was incredibly possessive of my perfect sweet baby boy. He’s the youngest of fifteen boys. My wet noodle of an ex-husband and I kept trying for that girl until my uterus gave out on me, so I always thought having a daughter-in-law would be like having a girl of my own. Oh no, it was nothing like that. When we went on walks together, she downright refused to let me stand in the middle and hold both their hands. She never let me join them on a single “date night” (They’re young, what do they need privacy for?!) and when they (to my dismay) decided to get married, she didn’t take a single one of my suggestions.

I still think it would’ve been a real show of love toward me for her to let us wear matching dresses. Despite all this, I was the most loving mother-in-law somebody could ever hope to have.

Then, she fell pregnant. We found out it was a girl, and I was sure it was finally my time to have my little sweetheart! But NO. Right away, my son was setting ridiculous limits that I am 100 percent positive that silly wife of his coerced him into, because my little angel boy would never say those things to his mother. No touching her stomach without permission, no asking her to track her diet on an app so I could make sure she was caring for my grandbaby, no making the grandbaby call me mommom, no staying with them for a month after the baby came to teach them how to care for her properly, no calling her an incubator for my little girl (endearingly)...I mean they may as well have outright disowned me!

Then, the day came. My daughter-in-

law, ever the attention hog, just HAD to go into labor on the night of the big Christmas Eve family party! It took enough wheedling to get them to come to my house for Christmas Eve, and they were still insisting on going to HER house for Christmas Day

When we went on a walk together, she downright refused to let me stand in the middle and hold both their hands. (no idea why), so I’m still sure her “water breaking” was all a big ploy to STEAL my boy from me for Christmas. I was barred from the delivery room, and still have not forgiven her for forcing me to miss the arrival of my baby girl. For some reason, when my daughter-in-law decided she wanted family to visit that night, EVERYBODY decided to go see the new baby instead of coming to my house for our family dinner! My daughter-in-law hasn’t spoken to me since I took my baby girl out of her crib in the middle of the night (she had no idea how to swaddle her properly!)

My poor sweet son has somehow been convinced that I was in the wrong for picking their lock and “kidnapping” my sweet girl (how could I kidnap my own grandbaby?).

They’ve got all the cousins and my worthless ex-husband on their side too. So, since nobody in my family cared to come to my party last year and have yet to RSVP for this year, I want to share with you my favorite Christmas recipe. This Ham and Sausage Jell-O Salad is all my boys’ favorite, it just tastes like home. So, from mine to yours, have a very merry Christmas, and dig in!

Yeah, it’s safe to say Merry Christmas on this blog ;) #waronchristmas #christisborn #reasonfortheseason #family #loveforall #worldsbestgrandmommy Alright, now let’s just jump right into

the recipe!

Prep time: 45 Minutes Total Time: 4 hours 45 min Serves: 12 Ingredients: 1 (3 oz) package lime flavored gelatin mix 1 cup boiling water 1 (8oz) can mandarin oranges in juice, drained with juice reserved 1 ½ tablespoons white vinegar ½ cup cold water, or as needed ½ cup of mayonnaise 2 teaspoons yellow mustard 1 cup chopped boiled cabbage 1 can Vienna sausages 3 ribs chopped celery 1 cup chopped cooked ham ½ cup craisins

Directions: Dissolve lime gelatin in boiling water in a large bowl. Pour reserved mandarin orange juice and vinegar into a measuring cup; add enough cold water to measure 1 cup. Stir water-juice mixture into gelatin mixture; refrigerate until cold and beginning to set, about 30 minutes.

Stir mayonnaise and mustard together in a bowl; whisk mayonnaise mixture into cooled lime gelatin mixture until smooth.

Gently fold cabbage, ham, celery, vienna sausages, craisins and reserved mandarin oranges into gelatin. Transfer mixture into a ring-shaped gelatin mold.

Chill in the refrigerator until firmly set, about 4 hours.

To serve, dip the gelatin mold into hot water to loosen the sides; place a plate on top of the mold, invert and gently lift the mold from salad.

Nicholas Tillinghast/The Miscellany News.

From my family to yours, the Heath Crunch Pie Jordan Alch

Only likes this one specific pie

H

eath Crunch Pie

Yield: One pie (serves 8, or 2 depending on how you’re feeling) Time: A few hours, probably I grew up thinking that my first words were: “When life gives you Heath Bars, make a Heath Crunch Pie.” I later learned that I was lied to, and my first word was actually “purple,” which is a lot less exciting. However, this is still a phrase that I try to live by: Always be prepared for the worst (a Heath Bar). Though I’ve never come into contact with a Heath Bar, nor do I ever want to, I have prepared myself should that day come, and you should too. It might get here sooner than you know.

Luckily for you, I’m sharing this exciting recipe from my family’s hoard of secret(ish) recipes that have been mysteriously acquired over the years. I was not told where this one came from, nor did I ask. If the recipe’s source wants to be known, it will make itself apparent.

Though my family only makes this pie during the holidays, it is fitting for any celebration! Some fun examples include birth-

Nicholas Tillinghast/The Miscellany News. days, getting over your first case of double-barrel pink eye, finishing reading “The Outsiders” by S.E. Hinton for the first time, throwing away old notes that have been sitting in your closet for seven years, and my personal favorite, reflecting on Christmas past, present and future with the help of three ghosts. Rumor has it that this pie was served at the Christmas feast that Scrooge put on at

the end of that book.

References to books that I was assigned to read in middle school aside, the ingredients that you’ll need for this pie include: An 8-ounce container of Cool Whip (NOT whipped cream) 3 ounces of cream cheese ½ cup of milk ½ cup of sugar

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

One of those graham-cracker pie crusts A bag of Heath Bar Crunch All you need to do is mix everything together in a bowl and put that in the pie crust.

It’s really not that hard. Make sure you leave about 1/3 of the bag of Heath Bar Crunch left to sprinkle on top. Freeze it until you want to eat it in one sitting or eight, nobody will judge you either way.

OPINIONS

Page 12

December 7, 2023

All opinions and Letters are submitted to The Miscellany News. The Editorial Board does not take responsibility for the views expressed in opinions articles.

Gap years provide students with many benefits Sufana Noorwez Senior Editor

W

hen I graduate from Vassar next May, I will be taking a gap year before I apply to postgraduate programs. While I am still figuring out what I will be doing during that gap year, I find myself thinking about what I want to get out of the time and whether it was a good idea or not. There are many factors that determine whether a gap year is worthwhile, but overall, gap years are a beneficial opportunity that more people should take advantage of.

Societally, there is undoubtedly a stigma surrounding gap years. There is often the perception that if one takes a gap year, they may find it more difficult to get back into school once they are finished with their gap year.

According to Gap Year Association, about 90 percent of students who choose to take a gap year return to school when they are done.

This means that around 10 percent of people slip through the cracks and either take a longer time to return to school or never return at all. Our society places high value on traditional education, and the fear surrounding not returning to school after a gap year is rooted in the perception that a traditional educational pathway is the be-all and end-all of a young person’s life. However, this logic and point of view are deeply flawed. A gap year, for many people, can be a time to step away from traditional schoolwork and reflect on what they might want to get out of their education. For some people, this might culminate in a deci-

sion to not attend college or postgraduate programs, and that is perfectly fine.

However, formal education is not the only way of learning out there, nor is it inclusive– our education system is not built for everyone. The way it is structured is often exclusionary to people who might have styles of learning that differ from our current pedagogical standards, and for those people, school can be a burden. Some people may choose to engage in different forms of education, such as trade school or community college, while others may decide that school is not for them at all. A gap year can actually provide time for people to reflect on whether a traditional education can serve them well. This will then allow them to pursue a field of study or endeavor that they are truly passionate about and are happy doing, instead of just throwing themselves at traditional education because it is the societal norm. Thus, gap years provide a much-needed opportunity for young people, rather than increasing the chances that they do not return to school.

Another potential drawback to a gap year is that it delays your future career, which reduces your overall career earnings. Per the Bureau of Labor Statistics, the more years of traditional education someone acquires, the more they will earn. This is an extremely money-driven view of life that fails to take into account the other parts of being human.

Many people use their gap years to travel or explore new hobbies, which can increase their knowledge about the world in ways that they traditionally do not experience in formal ed-

ucation. Personally, I am looking forward to having time off to explore my arts and crafts hobbies, many of which I do not have time for during the school year, and which I certainly will not have time for in my postgraduate career. While these hobbies likely will not help me earn money, they will teach me new skills and allow me to use my creativity and brain power in a way that traditional education does not. My point in talking about travel and hobbies is not to say that money should not be considered during gap year decisions, because it is often a financial decision. I only wish to challenge our often extremely money-centric way of thinking, and to think about the benefits of gap years more broadly. At the same time, it is also important to consider that sometimes gap years are needed financially.

Some graduate programs, like master’s degrees, cost money, and for some people, gap years can be a way to work and make money to pay for the cost of attending these programs. While I am excited for my arts and crafts during my gap year, I will be working a traditional nine-to-five job, which will help me save for the cost of living during graduate school. Living is much more expensive now than it was during the time of our parents, according to CNBC. It is no longer as easy to go to graduate school as it was when our parents did, and taking a gap year to prepare for this financial reality is also a logical choice.

Finally, a gap year can be used to improve professional skills. While some people may have the perception that a gap year is just a year to slack off and waste time, for many

people it is a formative period for building both professional and social skills. For graduate programs that can be more difficult to get into, such as medical school or competitive Ph.D. programs, the gap year can be used to gain more experience, which will help build one’s resume and gain admission, whether this is through lab research, medical work, volunteering or working a standard entry-level job. Working in these positions for a year or two after graduation not only builds your resume and your skills for graduate programs, but it also helps you ensure that you are satisfied with your future career choice. Soft skills like communication and interpersonal skills can also be improved during this time, which is especially important for future careers which involve communicating with laypeople and the public, and these can be built through interactions with people during jobs in gap years. Thus, gap years are not a time of relaxation and no work, but are more likely to include some of the most important non-academic experiences of a young person’s life.

Gap years carry a certain stigma. Taking one or even two is often portrayed as a lazy, irresponsible decision by someone who is uncertain about their future. However, the reality is that gap years are often necessary for young people to reflect on their life and career, to take time off to learn and do new things, and to develop important skills needed for the rest of their lives. If more people took gap years, perhaps we would have a professional workforce that was more satisfied, competent and happy in their life decisions.

George Santos may have been right about one thing Jacques Abou-Rizk Guest Columnist

D

o you remember the hit Netflix special, “Inventing Anna”? It is the true story of con artist Anna Sorokin who infiltrated New York high society by convincing everyone that she was a German socialite with a massive fortune, while also scamming people of millions of dollars. She lied again and again to gain favor from rich elites, but she taught us about overtrusting the accused in public lies and scams. George Santos is New York’s latest Anna Sorokin.

On the morning of Friday, Dec. 1, 2023, the House of Representatives voted to expel Rep. George Santos (R-N.Y.) after the House Ethics Committee Report found him in violation of federal law and House rules, according to The Washington Post. This vote was the third attempt to oust him since May, only now well surpassing the two-thirds majority required through bipartisan support as a result of the Ethics Committee’s findings.

George Santos becomes only the sixth House member to be expelled in U.S. history. He is the first in more than 20 years and the first to be removed without a conviction, only indictments, since the Civil War. Many Republican lawmakers, however, including House Speaker Mike Johnson (R-La.) and Majority Leader Steve Scalise (R-La.), raised concerns before the vote about the precedent that removing a representative without a conviction could set, according to CBS News.

I instead argue in favor of this precedent.

As Matt Ford writes in the New Republic, the “waiting for conviction” precedent is flawed: “For one thing, limiting the reasons for expulsion to only what a federal or state prosecutor can charge in court would allow lawmakers to get away with a wide variety of things that aren’t necessarily crimes. Not

every moral or ethical wrong is technically a crime in this country.”

Under scrutiny since as early as January of last year, Santos sits in a unique position.

He has been accused, with heavy evidence, of embellishing his resume to win his Congressional seat, of fraud and of illegal use of campaign funds. Let alone the lies about his biographical information, including stating he was Jewish and that his mother died in the 9/11 attacks, both of which have been found to be untrue, according to The New York Times and Vanity Fair.

But the ethics report alleges that Santos reported fictitious loans, stole money from his campaign for OnlyFans, Botox and Hermès, deceived donors, and engaged in fraudulent business dealings, according to CBS News.

Santos faces a new 23-count federal indictment, accusing him of stealing identities of campaign donors and using their credit cards, according to USA Today. He has pleaded “not guilty” to all charges. The trial date is set for September 2024 if a plea deal is not reached, as reported in The New York Times.

Despite the 56-page report, the 40 witnesses interviewed, the 170,000 pages of documents and the 37 subpoenas used to create the report—according to Reuters—Santos claims innocence. He posted on X, formerly Twitter, “If there was a single ounce of ETHICS in the ‘Ethics committee’, they would have not released this biased report.”

In Thursday’s House debate on the resolution to expel Santos, he went on to argue that his colleagues in the Republican conference and across the aisle, too, take part in unethical conduct on the daily. As reported by The Hill, current representatives are under investigation for everything from illegal stock trading and unethical management of campaign finances to sexual abuse. According to NY1, verified through the C-SPAN live stream

of the debate, “[Santos] brought up domestic abuse allegations leveled at Rep. Max Miller, R-Ohio, on the House floor. He used a slur describing mentally handicapped people in his characterization of how Congress functions when speaking with reporters. He revealed plans to try to expel Rep. Jamaal Bowman, D-N.Y. at the press conference.”

NY1 and C-SPAN confirm that as Santos stood on the House Floor Thursday, he said he would not simply smear his colleagues, though that is exactly what he did. And while no one enjoys seeing their government turned into a comedy troupe, or better yet a Netflix series, his statements rang true. Our government has an ethics problem, and it is preventing the most basic of laws from being passed.

The House spent over three weeks finding a Speaker. It passed two short-term budget extensions to avoid government shutdowns instead of creating a bipartisan full-year budget, which we still do not have, all while we approach $34 trillion in debt. But perhaps worst of all, the House Speaker is a right-wing conservative with radical views on abortion and same-sex marriage who promoted the 2020 election denial, according to NBC. Since January of last year, there have been more than 20 preliminary ethics reviews into different representatives. More than 30 members of the House under Ethics investigation since 2009 have refused to cooperate with the office, as George Santos did, according to Business Insider. Congress exhibits a clear lack of moral obligation to comply with ethical conduct and investigations.

To wait for George Santos’ conviction would have been another failure of the House. He was given his due process, as outlined by Rep. Michael Guest (R-Miss.), the Ethics Committee Chair, during the debate on the Floor last Thursday, Nov. 30. But what

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

now for the ethics of the House?

Senator John Fetterman (D-P.A.) renewed his calls for the Senate to vote to expel Sen. Bob Menendez (D-N.J.) after Santos’ expulsion, citing Menendez’s indictment on federal bribery and extortion charges for using his position in the Senate to benefit the business elites and government of Egypt between 2018 and 2022. According to Politico and The Hill, federal prosecutors accused him in October of acting as an agent of the government of Egypt while serving as chair of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee.

No member of Congress under investigation for illegal management of campaign funds or foreign conspiracy should be representing our country. And it is a shame that it took George Santos for us to unearth ethical violations in Congress. But just as with Santos, to wait for a prosecution while Menendez is receiving foreign intelligence briefings on Israel is symbolic of this country’s lack of ethical morals. I see Santos’ expulsion serving as a precedent for removing unbecoming elected officials that lack the moral and legal obligation necessary to represent our country.

When due process is given, when the accused are given the chance to speak and defend themselves but fail to dispute the evidence, there is a duty to remove that person from a decision-making position.

It can be said for Santos and many other congressmen that, just like Anna Sorokin, “For every three crazy things you hear about her, one usually turns out to be true.” Should we have continued to believe Santos when piles of evidence damned him? We have heard lie after lie from politicians, about their background, their experience and their intentions. It is time for us to take George Santos’ advice and fix our government’s ethics dilemma.

OPINIONS

December 7, 2023

Page 13

Why I came out even though the concept is absurd Anonymous

Guest Columnist

O

ver October Break I bit the bullet and came out to my parents. I say “bit the bullet” not because I thought they would not accept me, but because I was buying into something I had objected to several times. I can think of multiple reasons why I do not like the idea of coming out. But I still did, so clearly it has merits, or at the very least, society has conditioned coming out to be necessary.

Why was I hesitant to come out? A major reason is that I did not want to deal with follow-up questions. I thought it would be easier to hear my dad rattle off the list of my friends that were girls that he knew about and ask if I like them. It was annoying to constantly be asked if I liked a girl, but at least I could confidently say no without lying. If I came out as gay, then I might actually have to consider whether I liked the people my dad asked about. The main reason I did not want to come out is that I just did not want to talk about it. There are comments that I would rather not receive after such a personal confession, like “How long have you known?” and “You know you can tell us everything.”

Despite explicitly saying I did not want to

Making

a

Allen hale Arts Editor

T

he humanities are under a progressing threat. According to The New York Times, a wave of U.S. universities have either cut or proposed cutting funding for various programs, largely within the humanities division. This broad category encompasses fields such as the performing arts, language, literature, philosophy, history and more. Although its definition has shifted over time,the humanities are notably distinct from business, STEM (science, technology, engineering and math) or pre-professional degrees. As the legitimacy of various programs are challenged and devalued by political and market-driven forces such as the rejection of cultural conservatives from the concerned with collegiate “wokeness” being centered in these departments—it is imperative that humanities majors push back on outside pressures by reexamining and rearticulating the worth of their degree, both within and outside the context of work.

For many, STEM, business and pre-professional degrees are “safer” options than their humanities counterparts. These degrees often directly correspond to fixed career opportunities. Factors such as rising tuition costs as reported by CNBC have made many students wary of their degrees’ payoff and marketplace compatibility; today, almost one-fifth of all bachelor’s degrees are in business, the most popular undergraduate program in the U.S. This security is preferable to people in non-humanities programs, especially considering the increased potential for high-earning roles. The best-paying occupations by mean annual salary in the U.S. are, according to Investopedia, nearly all within the field of health care. Empirical evidence modeled by the Hamilton Project suggests that humanities majors are likely to earn less than other graduates; however, this may not account for the gender pay gap, according to BBC. Despite these disadvantages, humanities majors may actually earn more than pre-professional students in various disciplines, such as law or marketing. A study of labor market

discuss it further, my mom still pressed me on these things. I know she meant well, but I had just been incredibly vulnerable and wanted to move on and watch “The Great British Baking Show.”

However, not wanting to discuss your crushes with your parents is something people of all sexualities can feel. Although, if your parents are homophobic, that can exacerbate the situation. In fact, the possibility of homophobia is another reason why coming out should not be necessary. Not everyone is privileged enough to not want to come out purely because of the cringey responses their parents may give. Not all coming out experiences end the same way.

Finally, I did not want to come out because I thought the notion of doing so was absurd.

In my mind, there were two reasons why I viewed coming out (both in that moment and in general) as silly. First of all, I was and still am single, so why do I need to tell people who I would have sex with when I am not having sex with anyone? Secondly, and more importantly, straight people do not need to come out. Those who identify as heterosexual do not feel pressured to declare who they are specifically attracted to because their sexuality is viewed as the norm. The main issue I have with coming out is that it reinforces

case outcomes for graduates from the University of British Columbia suggested that 10 years after graduation, the income differences of humanities and non-humanities graduates were statistically insignificant. Furthermore, those with humanities degrees still have median incomes at least 40 percent higher than those without college degrees in all but four U.S. states. If those who select their majors based on their estimated earnings are immune to public shame—especially for low-income students seeking to escape cyclical poverty through higher education—humanities majors should be safe from reciprocal shame.

Reducing college to a careerist model based solely around future employment devalues the unique experience of higher education and its ability to transform our perception of the world. There is no possible one-size-fitsall model for educating future generations of workers; reducing humanities programs to their relationship with the market undermines the purpose of higher education.

Additionally, many careers do not neatly fit into categories that are traceable to one particular college major. Humanities majors acquire a multitude of “soft skills,” a category applicable to the work of all professionals.

The World Economic Forum has reported an increased demand for these essential abilities in a rapidly shifting global economy, including competencies such as writing, communication, critical thinking, logical reasoning, complex problem-solving and cultural awareness. These skills are highly transferable and resistant to automation, a growing threat which, according to the World Economic Forum, looms large in STEM disciplines. Any job which can be broken down into a series of routine tasks is more likely to be automated and replaced by robots. According to PBS, “There is growing demand for workers who are flexible and adaptable and who are skilled at working in team-based settings. All of these skills are still difficult to automate.” This flexibility enables those with a humanities degree to reliably earn positions based on the skills acquired through their study, even if their career is not directly related to their major’s subject matter. Even in STEM fields, experience in the humanities has demonstrably

the idea that heterosexuality is, or should be, the default. The idea that heterosexuality is default is not inherently problematic. Statistically, more people are heterosexual than not. The problem is that a heteronormative attitude leads to non-heterosexual identities being seen as deviant or abnormal. Less common does not equate to being abnormal!

Redwood trees are less common than maple trees, but redwood trees are not seen as “abnormal.” In other words, coming out allows the world to other you much more easily. The only people who truly need to know who you are attracted to are you and the person(s) you are attracted to (and maybe your therapist).

So, if I have all these thoughts against coming out, why did I? There were several reasons. First, I was tired of shutting down my parents whenever they asked if I was into the girls I hung out with frequently. The second reason was a bit more complicated: at home, I technically never denied my sexuality, but I would shut down any conversation before it could get there. At Vassar, I just never denied it. It certainly helped that a lot of my friends are LGBTQ+. I had known I was queer before I came to Vassar (I did not discover I exclusively liked guys until last October), so technically, I had been closeted at home. I was not bothered by it at the time, so what changed?

for

the

beneficial impacts; a study conducted across multiple medical schools in the U.S. found that positive personal traits in students was correlated with educational exposure to the humanities.

Although the lack of a specific career goal may cause one to feel disoriented in the labor market, the openness of a humanities degree enables one to pursue a wider range of job opportunities. Down the line, the possibility of a career pivot remains open for someone with a pliable skillset, unlike a graduate whose degree prescribes a narrower range of opportunities. LinkedIn has found that more than 40 percent of professionals are interested in making this pivot; in fact, Gen Z is three times as likely to change jobs, making us the most “mobile” generation of workers. Seeking direct satisfaction from work may not be an applicable model of life for all, and the desire to earn enough to live comfortably justifies the career choices of many; however, this should not necessitate that all people must sacrifice their happiness in pursuit of monetary gain, especially given that stability can be achieved regardless of one’s undergraduate degree.

This is also not to say that non-humanities degrees are tedious or unenjoyable. Rather, I believe that we should not expect or pressure everyone to pursue these particular opportunities, especially as the need for humanities students persists in the global economy.

For much of this piece, I have generally explained the value of the humanities by justifying their usefulness within the job marketplace, utilizing the language of productivity.

Solely sermonizing on the “worldly” cultural benefits provided by the humanities does not enable one to construct an effective argument for their existence under the threat of funding cuts when speaking to those with pre-formed biases against these disciplines. These perspectives form the largest challenge to the humanities from a policy standpoint, requiring a defense which examines their economic applicability; vague platitudes must be avoided here.

Still, humanities students should be cautious to avoid defending our education from a purely career-related standpoint, as there is more to education than acquisition of ma-

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

I guess being able to be openly gay at Vassar made it difficult to be happy at home, knowing I was suppressing a part of myself that I did not have to suppress most of the time. In other words, it was not emotionally taxing to maintain being in the closet once I knew I was queer—it was emotionally taxing to reenter the closet every time I went home or talked to my family.

So where do we end up? I know it sounds like a cop-out, but I have concluded that coming out is something that should not be required or socially necessary and should instead be up to each individual. I should be able to be open with my parents about it, but it should never come up unless I am introducing them to a boyfriend or something like that.

Society is too heteronormative. People feel the need to come out because, regardless of how accepting people are to queer folks, any non-heterosexual identity is still seen as deviant from the norm. We need to get rid of the “straight until proven otherwise” mentality. In our current society, there is a way that coming out might be necessary socially but in a utopian society there would be no need to come out because non-heterosexual identities would be seen as no stranger than heterosexual ones.

humanities terial benefits. As a philosophy major, my passion for the program’s material often feels like enough for me to justify my pathway to others, even if they are unable to understand why I would choose to earn less in the future than someone doing pre-med. If I am to work for the rest of my life, I would prefer for this work to feel personally gratifying to whatever degree possible, even if it means I may earn less than others. Additionally, my current career interests are varied yet united around a core set of skills. They are not simply linked to one particular degree choice or discipline; therefore, studying the humanities—philosophy, in particular—feels like the most malleable approach to my future.

From this, I feel justified in concluding that my entire educational life need not be oriented towards the potentiality of future work. I believe that my choice to study philosophy may reflect a degree of personal privilege compared to those who feel compelled to complete STEM, business or pre-professional degrees, due to their potentially preferable market outcomes. However, many people fall into our majors without premeditated planning.

In discussions with students from a variety of disciplines, I have found that our choice of study reflects preference for the required abilities and material of that major more than class; students I have met through philosophy come from a wide variety of backgrounds.

Studying what is intriguing and beneficial to oneself (whether this is the humanities or not) and searching for careers with related aptitudes afterward engenders a more holistic approach to education, effectively retaining the necessary attention toward career aspirations. Passion should not be stifled or feared under the pretense of learning what is “applicable” rather than what is fascinating; instead, what we learn from college can and should inform our understanding of the world beyond the realm of work. Challenging the Earth’s unequal, crisis-ridden state involves critical thought and creative problem-solving which can be gained from studying the humanities– enabling students to conceptualize why and how the world can change for the better. If this is not “practical” to the social existence of humanity, I am unsure what is.

SPORTS

Page 14

Women’s

rugby

Continued from RUGBY on page 1 flect, I feel that while we had the opportunity to win, the result was fair. UW Eau Claire was a deserved winner.”

Still, it is hard to view Vassar women’s rugby’s latest season as anything but another addition to their long list of tremendous success. As the only Vassar athletics program that competes above the Division III level, women’s rugby has reached the National Collegiate Rugby’s Final in nine of the 10 years since making the move to Division II level competition. Despite the loss, Brown agreed. “Every player raised their game for this weekend,” he said.

With a starting lineup that had only eight returners from last year’s national championship, Vassar once again proved that nobody rebuilds on the fly like they do. When the Spring 2024 season begins next semester, the team will continue to grow with its current roster. The team will lose four starters to graduation this spring but will contin-

finishes

as

ue to contend at the national level next fall because of the impressive play it saw from its first-years, sophomores and juniors.

“This squad has grown a lot and improved,” Brown boasted. “We have an incredible group of first year students, three of which started in the final, who will now know what standards are needed to attain if they want to be successful at future Final Fours. Looking forward we need to attain higher fitness levels and develop more depth so that we can have more players contribute sharing the workload.”

Finally, as the man largely credited with the creation of both Vassar’s men’s and women’s rugby program, Brown was proud to see the program well represented in the stands.

“I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention the absolutely fantastic fan support this weekend,” he remarked. “To hear parents, siblings, family, friends and alums roaring and rooting for the College was inspiring.”

December 7, 2023

national

runner-up

Image courtesy of Vassar College Rugby via Instagram.

NFL Week 13 sets up final stretch of the season Henry France Columnist

O

n Sunday, Dec. 3, the College Football Playoff selection committee released their decision on who would make this year’s four-team playoff. Shortly thereafter, the NFL kicked off a playoff selection of their own with high stakes matchups and an array of playoff implications. As the NFL playoffs quickly approach, a number of scenarios are played out throughout the remainder of the season. In this article, I plan on looking back at some of my takes from earlier weeks, including which teams are contenders and which are pretenders.

After Week Eight, I provided my opinion on which teams I believe to be contenders and which I believe to be pretenders. I think it is safe to say that it is time to reevaluate these qualifications, starting with our contenders.

Because I had earlier called the Dallas Cowboys pretenders, I was hoping that the Seattle Seahawks would have beaten them last week to provide indisputable evidence for my argument. Still, a one-score 41-35 win for the Cowboys nevertheless supports my original take—the Cowboys are frauds.

Prior to this week, every single one of Dallas’ wins have come against teams at or

below .500, and they were not necessarily convincing against Seattle. I do not think the Cowboys have a chance at a championship this season, and their matchup against Philadelphia this upcoming week and the Miami Dolphins in two weeks should put Dallas’ weaknesses on display.

Meanwhile, I deemed the Eagles to be contenders. While they lost 19-42 in a high stakes duel against the San Francisco 49ers, the Eagles have displayed dominance all year, entering today’s contest 10-1. The Eagles have shown consistency and strength, but they just do not have the explosive upside necessary to get it done in the postseason. The 49ers have been flaky and unreliable this season, as evidenced by their 6 total offensive yards in the first quarter, but it is clear after this week that of all the top tier teams in the NFL, the 49ers have the highest ceiling. If the 49ers can play to their potential consistently, then, in my opinion, they should plow their way to their sixth Super Bowl title. Nick Miller ’26, San Francisco resident, was impressed with the victory for the 49ers. “I am very proud of the team and looking forward to the playoffs,” he said, clear praise from the longtime fan.

After blowing their matchup against the 6-6 Green Bay Packers on Sunday night, the Chiefs have again failed to convince me

to elevate them to contenders. While the Chiefs have shown promise at times, they do not seem to have the consistency to be a certain contender. Still, they have the best player in the league in Patrick Mahomes, so it’s hard to ever count Kansas City out of contention for another championship.

Another team worth noting is the Buffalo Bills, who frankly have fallen flat. Coming into the season, NFL fans expected the Bills to be up in that top tier of NFL teams, but they are sitting as a low tier two team at the moment. The disappointing season from Buffalo is due to a few key things: poor coaching, a lack of player depth and, honestly, bad luck. Head Coach Sean McDermott has made a couple questionable play calls and overall decisions, with most of the Bills’ success relying on quarterback Josh Allen. The Bills have also just been unlucky, with a number of close losses being chalked up to a single coaching decision.

The Bills could certainly be in the conversation for contender—they have just not yet been able to get it done. Maybe after only a three-point loss to the Eagles last week and a bye week this week, the Bills can get back on track.

In Houston, the Texans halted the Denver Broncos’ five-game party with a strong showing from Houston’s defense in a big

22-17 win. Rookie quarterback CJ Stroud has continued his streak of dominance, but this week, it came at a cost with emerging star wide receiver Tank Dell fracturing his fibula—an injury that will take him out for the season. The Texans will certainly take a hit with this injury, but if this week has proven anything, it is that the Texans are a well-balanced team that can make some moves in the postseason. Similarly, the Detroit Lions continued their dominance with a 33-28 win against the New Orleans Saints.

The Lions are 9-3 and off to their best start since 1962. A year ago, it would have been laughable for the Texans and Lions to be in the hunt for a playoff position at this point in the season, but with their respective squads this year, I think both teams have a serious amount of upside.

The AFC is going to set the stage for a tight playoff race with the AFC South incredibly contested as the Jacksonville Jaguars, Indianapolis Colts and Houston Texans are all within one game of each other. Houston and Indianapolis’ Week 18 matchup could very well be a win-and-in situation. With big wins this week, the Chiefs and Ravens widen their leads of the AFC West and AFC North, respectively, but do not count out a big late-season push from the Broncos and Steelers.

Sandro Lorenzo/The Miscellany News.

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

GAMES

December 7, 2023

Page 15

The Miscellany Games

By Sadie Keesbury

Category Match CATEGORY MATCH INSTRUCTIONS In the word bank below, there are 16 words that belong to four categories. Each word belongs to only one category. You don’t know which words belong together, nor do you know what the categories are! Try to find similarities between them and place them into four categories below. Answers (which words belong together, as well as the categories they belong to) will be revealed in next week’s issue. Have fun!

Example category: 1: Toyota Car Models: COROLLA PRIUS TACOMA HIGHLANDER

WORD BANK ANIMALS HARDWORKING CYBER KIND PEPPERS SMALL BUSINESS STRONG UP BRAVE BRILLIANT GIVING SOUL CRUST INSIDE OUT BLACK CARS

Picture crossword clues (see back)

Picture Clue 1

Picture Clue 2

Picture Clue 3

By Freddy Loew ’26

By Carmen Skinder ’26

By Brody Weiss ’26

“6N”

Answers to last week’s puzzles:

By Sadie Keesbury

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

“Wild Run”

CROSSWORD

Page 16

December 7, 2023

The Miscellany Crossword “Out with a bang!”

By Sadie Keesbury

ACROSS 1. Opposite of subtract 4. _____-cone 7. One who served 14. Picture clue 1 (see page 15) 15. 20%, 18% and 15% are classic options for this 16. So cool!

17. Common lung infection among infants 18. Campers, or an anagram of 17A 19. Response to “Should I stop this from happening?”

20. Spooky 22. Palmer who said “I know it ain’t Thee Stallion!”

23. Ecuadorian archipelago, with “The” 25. Full-combat sport (abbr.)

28. Not _____ yet 29. Who you have to thank for an amazing fall semester of this newspaper, for short 33. Member of the house, for short 34. Ugly in Uruguay 36. Farmer’s resource 37. Salted part of a margarita

38. Service provider owned by Yahoo!

39. Archaeological site in the Peloponnese 43. “WAT?” 44. Suspicious 47. Picture clue 2, maybe? (see page 15) 49. Greek covered portico 50. Day off spot 51. Picture clue 3, maybe? (see page 15) 54. Put your hands together 56. Make _____ (speed up) 57. Abou-Rizk who 29A and readers have to thank for his wonderful leadership as Fall 2023 Editor-in-Chief of this newspaper 61. Prefix meaning all 62. A word that is a contraction with an apostrophe, and possessive without 64. Scolds 65. Tell an untruth 66. Fave fictional couple 67. Game of chance 68. Measurement of age, for short 69. How a horse votes no?

DOWN 1. Zero percent promise on some credit cards 2. Illness 3. Grow 4. Las Vegas _____ (MSG Sphere location) 5. Cream brand 6. First contributors of online threads 7. Dr. Doofenshmirtz’s daughter 8. Fuzzy “Star Wars” creature 9. Prefix with phone or vision 10. That, in Spanish 11. Decay 12. Mon _____ 13. Catcher 21. The UK’s sky fighters 22. Pond fish 23. Eel-like fish 24. Animal or plant whose DNA was altered 25. The fall of _____ (event triggered by Eve eating the apple) 26. Degree for a painter or sculptor 27. Vassar sports locale (abbr.)

30. _____ up (go silent)

31. Apt rhyme for fog 32. ¿Qué _____? (What’s up?)

34. Goldfish crackers mascot 35. Online zine, perhaps 37. Co-op outdoors equipment shop 39. 1,000 of these is one gram 40. Gab 41. Financial analyst, for short 42. Residence of an ambassador 43. Have 44. Where the train comes in 45. Lynn of country music 46. Ox 48. Scared squeak 49. iMessage alternative 52. Seating option 53. Underwear brand 54. Adorable 55. Judgemental look 57. Speaker brand 58. Disability department at Vassar 59. Framework pioneered by Kimberlé Crenshaw 60. Fantastic Scrabble word 61. Toilet paper sheet measure 63. Secret agent

More Miscellany Games Inside!

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE