Misc.10.05.23

The

News

Protests continue to urge action on pay lawsuit

Jacques Abou-Rizk Editor-in-Chief

As parents, siblings and loved ones wandered campus for Families Weekend, HearUsOut, a student-led group at Vassar, set up tables and handed out pamphlets with information about the ongoing pay equity litigation against the College.

The tabling comes in the midst of a powerful debate on campus between the administration, community members, faculty and students. HearUsOut, who organized the first show of student support for the professors—a protest outside of the first faculty meeting of the year on Sept. 13—have rallied students to raise awareness of the ongoing lawsuit to admissions tours.

One member of HearUsOut, Sophie Mode ’25, said informing potential students at the Kautz Admissions building is the best way to spread awareness to a wider audience. “We are in front of the admissions house in three shifts every Monday, Thursday and Friday, sharing pamphlets with prospective students and families,” Mode explained. She added, “Visiting families have engaged with us, with most taking our materials and many also asking questions and taking steps to further understand the lawsuit and ensuing activism.”

These students ensure that in their protests they share how important Vassar is to them. She said, “In these conversations

[with visiting families], we make it clear that we love our community here and that is why we are doing this. We need our professors to feel that they are loved and respected, and that relies on equal wages from our College.”

Michelle Lamy, attorney for the plaintiffs, said in a written statement to The Miscellany News, “We understand from our clients that the student protests created an overwhelmingly positive environment on campus, among both students and faculty.”

Another member of HearUsOut, Gwynne Smith ’24, said, “Our plan is to continue to do them [protests] until Vassar takes sufficient action to support their faculty and uphold their promise of equity and inclusion.”

Smith said that seeing her professors expressing such happiness and gratitude for the actions of their students has felt surreal. She added that while the administration has not reached out directly to HearUsOut, the administration sent out an email to parents and families informing them of the ongoing protests at tours and Families Weekend. Smith said, “I’m glad [families] do see us, so they can read our pamphlet and get more facts about the lawsuit.”

In a correspondence with The Miscellany News, Bradley said she and the administration support the ongoing student protests outside of admissions. “Use your voice,” she said, “It’s the Vassar way. An engaged and active campus that debates important issues is a healthy one.”

Examining a new film

Richard Lu Assistant Social Media Editor

The universe is infinite. Forever ebbing and flowing, millions upon millions of stars and galaxies exist in the endless cosmos. Like the universe, love, too, is infinite. However, love separates itself from the former by being devoted to a single heart in a sea of billions. This is the story of our protagonists in the romantic drama film “Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe,” written and directed by Aitch Alberto.

I had the privilege of seeing this masterpiece in theaters on Sept. 8, the day of its theatrical release and the day before my birthday. After viewing the film in its entirety, I can gladly confirm that it was the best early birthday present ever. With my popcorn and drink in hand, I sat back and enjoyed what would delight my senses for the next hour and a half.

[SPOILERS AHEAD]

Based on the novel of the same name by Benjamin Alire Sáenz, “Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe” takes direct inspiration from the events in the book with a few minor exceptions. The film was first screened at the 2022 Toronto International Film Festival on Sept. 9, 2022, finally debuting in American theaters a full year later. It follows the self-discovery journey of Aristotle “Ari” Mendoza as he

navigates through high school and adolescence. He meets fellow Mexican-American Dante Quintana, the boy who would eventually change his perspective on life forever. Brimming with references to ’80s pop culture and fashion, the movie excels at evoking nostalgia. Even as someone unfamiliar with the aesthetic, I felt transported back in time. My entrancement was heightened by the pitch-black darkness and silence in the movie theater. Alone in my senses, I was touched by a tingling sensation every time an outdated vehicle or wild landscape graced the screen.

I was very fond of Ari and Dante, the leads of the story. They face many adversities throughout the course of the film, some of which resonated deeply with me. For Ari, played by actor Max Pelayo, these were accepting his friend’s absence in his hometown, his brother’s true reason for being in prison, and his aunt’s unfortunate passing due to a sudden stroke. Most of all, Ari was confronted by his love for Dante, played by actor Reese Gonzales, in the final act of the story. Dante, like Ari, also faces internal conflict, as detailed by the letters sent to his friend while away in Chicago, questioning his own sexuality. The movie perfectly captures Ari’s growing frustration with life through his more reserved behavior and periodic outbursts. We as viewers also see Dante get exposed first-hand to the

Since the news of the lawsuit broke in The Wall Street Journal and subsequently The Miscellany News, a number of Letters to the Editor in The Miscellany News have kept the conversation going both in person and online. President Elizabeth Bradley and General Counsel for Vassar College Shay Humphrey have written on behalf of the College, and fe-

male full professors, male full professors and two-thirds of associate professors have written four letters in support of the plaintiffs.

Many of these letters throw counter-claims at one another. In a recent email from Bradley to the Vassar community, she spoke out about the data surfacing: “Recent

Advice from abroad

Maryam Bacchus Guest Reporter

Ihavea confession: I probably should not have studied abroad. Last spring, I found myself in the office of my favorite professor, crying as I tried to decide whether I wanted to go forward with studying abroad, take a gap semester or stay at Vassar as normal. For many students who might feel out of place at the college, this decision is all too familiar. Should we run? Should we stay? Would we have been happier elsewhere? Would we be happier elsewhere?

The answer is more complicated than a simple list of pros and cons. However, there are quite a few things I wish I knew before leaving. For one, it is incredibly difficult to shop for groceries in a language you do not know. Yes, you can play a sort of picture match game and assume, but you might end up with yogurt in a carton instead of the oat milk you thought you picked up. Currency conversions are also incredibly difficult to calculate mentally, and when you are fighting a never-ending battle with your roaming data, you often have to freestyle your budget. Speaking of budget, the data available for cost of living is heavily based on data from locals, which will not apply to you. Instead of planning like a local, it would be helpful to plan like a tourist, spending an extended peri-

od of time in the country you are going to.

I am currently abroad in Denmark, where the prices are high and my mood is low. Though I fortunately avoided the milk-yogurt mishap, I have been finding it difficult to adjust to my new temporary home. My motivations for going abroad have since been curbed by sheer living expenses, difficulty meeting people and unplanned culture shock. I find myself on the same sleep schedule as a good friend, despite being six time zones apart. Staying in contact with those from home is a double-edged sword; I have never felt this much FOMO, yet I am endlessly grateful for having friends that care. I have also realized how completely normal it is to not go abroad, which is another reason I have been reevaluating my decision.

Another list item to look into before departure is elective travel. If you are planning on visiting other cities or countries in the continent you study abroad in, booking your trips from home will save you a lot of money in the long run. Once abroad, you can always make additional plans, but if you feel particularly strongly about visiting a city, it will be cheaper to book the flight months in advance rather than a few weeks. You can always wait to book accommodations, but flight prices change by the hour!

Before I left, I had a list of cities I want-

Igor Martiniouk/The Miscellany News.

THE MISCELLANY NEWS

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

MANAGING EDITOR

CONTRIBUTING EDITOR

SENIOR EDITOR

NEWS EDITORS

ASSISTANT NEWS EDITOR

ARTS EDITORS

FEATURES EDITOR

ASSISTANT FEATURES EDITORS

OPINIONS EDITOR

HUMOR EDITOR

SPORTS EDITOR

SOCIAL MEDIA EDITOR

ASST. SOCIAL MEDIA EDITORS

PHOTO EDITOR

DESIGN EDITOR

ASST. DESIGN EDITOR

COPY EDITOR

ASST. COPY EDITOR

GRAPHICS EDITORS

ASST. GRAPHIC EDITOR

LIVE EVENTS CHAIR

WEBMASTERS

BUSINESS MANAGER REPORTERS, COLUMNISTS

Jacques Abou-Rizk

William Sorge

Monika Sweeney

Sashinka Poor

Sarah McNeil

Jyotsna Naidu

Emma Adams

Allen Hale

Jesse Koblin

Kai Speirs

Carina Cole

Luke Jenkins

Sufana Noorwez

Nicholas Tillinghast

Nick Villamil

Tracy Cen

Olivia Kahn

Richard Lu

Igor Martiniouk

Nandini Likki

Molly Delahunty

Caris Lee

Julia Weinberg

Sandro Lorenzo

Karen Mogami

Tori Kim

Catherine Borthwick

Kai Chang

Michael Yang

Chloe Osborn

Britt Andrade

Yaksha Gummadapu

Anna Kozloski

Emma Lawrence

Gwen Ma

Benjamin Savel

Oliver Stewart

Anna Terry

COPY STAFF

Kathryn Carvel

Willa Jewitt

Anabel Lee

Allison Lowe

Claire Miller

Ailynn O’Neill

Emma Sandrew

Emma San Filippo

Edward Welch Morgan

CROSSWORD EDITOR

Sadie Keesbury

CORRECTION POLICY

The Miscellany News will only accept corrections for any misquotes, misrepresentations or factual errors for an article within the semester it is printed.

The Miscellany News is not responsible for the views presented within its Opinions pages. Staff editorials are the only articles that reflect the opinion of a two-thirds majority of the Editorial Board.

Karen Mogami/The Miscellany News.

Dueling opinions situate ongoing lawsuit debate

Continued from LAWSUIT on page 1

media reports have identified differences in Vassar’s average faculty salaries for women as compared to men; however, as is so often the case, averages do not tell a complete story. At Vassar, as at many colleges and universities, faculty salaries are determined by several factors. These can include, for instance, academic field, years in the position, and peer evaluations of performance. Average salaries do not account for these factors and therefore can be misleading.”

The women full professors, however, stood firm against Bradley’s media statements in their second Letter to the Editor on Sept. 27, 2023, titled “Letter to the Editor: Women professors counter Bradley.” They write, “In the same [New York Times] article, Bradley also continues to justify the gender pay gap at Vassar by suggesting it is due to differences in seniority, department affiliation and impartial peer review. This is false: The compensation analyses Bradley internally conducted alongside several female faculty (and subsequently ignored) already confirmed that these factors do not account for the gender pay gap among full professors.”

On Monday, Oct. 2, Humphrey, the General Counsel for Vassar College, published a Letter to the Editor with The Miscellany News yet again countering the claims of the professors. She said, “The assertion that Vassar has ‘agreed to’ conduct an ‘independent compensation analysis’ is not accurate. Rather, President Bradley, ‘invited our Faculty Compensation Committee to participate in selecting a third-party compensation analysis firm to use our data and assess pay equity relative to our salary policies and practices,’ as written here.”

Bradley confirmed to The Miscellany News that there is no update on the lawsuit, adding, “The process to carefully resolve the matter will take time, and we have no updates on the timeline. I will continue to communicate to the Vassar community the best that I can, as frequently as I can.” Humphrey’s Letter to the Editor did include that Vassar’s legal counsel has advised President Bradley not to discuss the lawsuit in any detail and not to take any actions that would be outside the normal progression of the case through the court system.

Bradley said she read the two Letters to

the Editor published Thursday, Sept. 28, one from associate professors and the other from women full professors, and said, “I concur with the professors’ sentiment that the College should continue to work constructively with all professors to ensure gender pay equity.” She added, “In response to the letter from the associate professors, I would like to take the opportunity again to invite the faculty—and re-extend the invitation previously made to the Faculty Compensation Committee—to collaborate on selecting and engaging a third-party compensation analysis firm to use our data and assess pay equity relative to our salary policies and practices, making recommendations for adjustments if needed.”

In her written correspondence with The Miscellany News, she added, “I would also like the firm to work with us over the longer term on considering a new approach to establishing annual faculty salary increases that can be a model for Vassar and hundreds of institutions—academic and nonacademic—across the country who are grappling with this important issue.”

Bradley affirmed, “Higher education has learned much about inclusive pedagogy

that fosters thriving in every student, using varying and creative approaches to learning. We are also continuously learning about equity in recruitment and hiring. The faculty-led salary policies and practices were designed forty years ago and would benefit from a re-examination, although by the College’s Governance, this process must be undertaken and approved by the faculty.”

Despite the ongoing pay equity debate at Vassar and the expected slow turnout of the litigation, students are focused on protesting for their professors nonetheless. Smith said, “The organizers are committed to continuing momentum in this student action, and we’re considering many new ways to get information out and put pressure on the school to respond appropriately.”

Smith said she is incredibly proud of the student body for its activism and show of support for their professors. She explained of the protests, “Many of my professors have expressed that they were so happy that so many students have spoken out in solidarity and felt really glad to be supported by our student community when so many have been let down by the leadership of Vassar.”

What is casework, and how can it help you?

Do you need help with interactions with the college administration? Maybe you have a housing or accessibility issue that needs to be addressed by an office or you are having trouble communicating with the administration on

behalf of your student organization.

A little-known way that the VSA can help you with specific issues that you are having is through the Casework System. The Casework System is a private service designed to assist a constituent at their request in their dealings with the College or VSA.

A student who submits a casework issue to the VSA will have a Senator personally assigned to work on their behalf to resolve the case. Casework is completely independent of the college administration. Once a Senator is assigned to a case in a private consideration council, the details of your case are kept confidential between you and your caseworker.

This service is not intended for general complaints or advocacy requests but rather to help you work through

and reach a desirable outcome for a specific problem with the college or VSA. For more general advocacy requests or questions, please use the (Contact Us) form on the VSA website.

Except for issues relating to the Academic Panel, Bias Incident Response Team, EOAA/Title IX or Student Conduct (CECR) that Senators are prohibited from working Casework on, the VSA can help you with any other specific issue.

If you want to file casework, go to the contact tab on the association’s website and fill out a short form describing your issue. If you are curious and have questions about the casework process, contact vsa@vassar.edu for more information.

Please do not hesitate to file a case, your Senators are here to help!

Casework:

Contact Us:

Igor Martiniouk/The Miscellany News.

Pesticide use on campus grounds incites criticism

Olivia Selby Guest Reporter

Whenwalking through Vassar’s campus, it is common to see bright yellow flags dotting the grass. The flags signify to Vassar’s residents that pesticides have been administered in the marked areas. Though these flags indicate efforts to make pesticide use safer on campus, concerns have been raised by the Vassar community about the implementation and necessity of these pesticides.

In April 2021, Vassar released an “Integrated Pest Management Plan” (IPM) for natural areas and landscapes. The goal of this plan, written by Cole Palatini ’21 with contributions from Jennifer Rubbo, Director of the Environmental Cooperative, and Grounds Manager Dean Jaeger from Facilities Operations, is to standardize the College’s response to pest infestations.

The document outlines the College’s goals when addressing pest issues and delineates a step-by-step response plan for Facilities to use in these scenarios. This response plan is put in place to help the College use the smallest amount of pesticides possible.

Maxine Coleman, Assistant Vice President for Facilities Operations, reaffirms this goal: “We have and will continue to always look and educate ourselves for other options to help lessen pesticide usage.”

However, members of Vassar’s community feel this plan is not being fulfilled. Some have raised concerns that Facilities is using pesticides more often than they should.

Professor of Biology Kathleen Susman, whose research interests include the effect of common lawn chemicals on ground soil, feels that these pesticides are being used in places where they are not needed or effective. In a written interview, Susman says, “Vassar told me that they use pesticides only to control invasives, which cannot be true if the yellow flags are regularly placed on the mulched planting and edging areas close to where peo-

ple walk. The campus has a lot of invasive vines that are doing considerable damage to some of the ‘wilder’ regions near the stream and at the back end of campus, but pesticides will not get rid of those well-established vines.”

The College has previously published more specific information about what pesticides they use. Namely, as indicated by Vassar’s Safety Data Sheets regarding pesticides from 2011, it reported the College uses Roundup, a brand of chemical pesticides.

However, this Safety Data Sheets statement has recently been removed from the Vassar website. Coleman says this is because “We are in the process of cleaning up and updating the Facilities Operations websites, including removing documents

which are not fully accessible in order to repost them in a fully accessible format.”

Susman continued, explaining her desire for a pesticide statement that includes updated science: “The website indicates only Roundup, whose active ingredient is/was glyphosate. Glyphosate was removed from a number of commercial pesticides and replaced with 2,4-D, which is actually more toxic to humans and wildlife. The information that Vassar provides on its website is more than 12 years old, Montsanto [the creator of Roundup] was bought by Bayer a few years ago, and much has changed.”

Though Vassar has made efforts to increase transparency by creating the IPM and pesticide statements, Susman believes

that this is not enough. She argues that pesticides simply do not need to be used at all.

When asked about her vision of Vassar’s future use of pesticides, Susman replied: “I believe that Vassar should not use chemical pesticides for routine lawn and garden maintenance. Period. Vassar needs to do more to enact sustainable, healthy outdoor landscape practices.” She adds, “As an educational institution, students and the other folks in the community could learn so much about how to have beautiful outdoor surroundings that have healthy soil and an abundance of wildlife and nature. We need to be working with nature, not trying to control it into broad expanses of non-native grass and non-native plants.”

Tori Kim/The Miscellany News.

igor Martiniouk/The Miscellany News.

Gallery 40 showcases Vassar student talent

Julia Pippenger Guest Columnist

In order to get a break from the hustle and bustle of Families Weekend, I traveled to downtown Poughkeepsie to visit Gallery 40. Founded in 2022 and run by curators Mary Ann Glass and Paola Bari, Gallery 40 spotlights local and regional artists from the Hudson Valley. This fall, a show of particular interest is on view: “Emerging Shapes: A Vassar Students Exhibition.” I attended the opening reception on Sept. 30, hoping to encounter interesting artwork from fellow students.

Upon entering the gallery, I quickly realized the student show was not in the building’s main space. In fact, I had to climb a halfflight of stairs and turn a few corners before finding the student show, which had been installed in a hallway. The spatial composition of the show was unfortunate, as the hallway was narrow and lit by fluorescent lights. One could not back more than two feet away from a work of art without risking bumping into another. The hubbub of the reception did not help this issue, as freedom of movement was encumbered by parents and grandparents waving plastic cups of Pinot Grigio and napkins full of cheese cubes as they emphatically discussed the pieces around them.

Bypassing the commotion, I traveled through the hallway, inspecting the pieces hung on the walls. Most of the art on display was two-dimensional—drawing and painting were the most common mediums. At the entrance of the narrow hallway, Mingjia

Ni’s ’26 “Cabbage” stood out, a close view of a green cabbage bursting with pigment. The piece, made with water-soluble crayon and colored pencil on paper, is on sale for $100. Among the other works listed for sale, prices ranged from $20 to a staggering $1,500 for Nikita Sidoryk’s ’26 oil painting “The Gardener.” In this piece, Sidoryk skillfully depicts a fair-skinned woman lounging on a bed of scarlet cloth, touching a slender plant that twists up to her delicate arm in a soft tendril.

Kinder’s sculpture has a personal, emotional feel, perhaps due to the medium—the touch of the artist’s hand is evident in the delicate channels that connect Kinder’s words.

Caleb Leeming ’24, the organizer of the show, contributed five paintings, including three landscapes and two portraits entitled “Grandfather” and “Grammy.” Both are stoic yet sincere. In “Grandfather,” a stern man casts a serious gaze to the side, balancing a cigar between his fingers. Across the wall, Phoebe Kinder’s ’24 phenomenal clay piece “Loose I Am” weaves poetry through pale red

clay, recalling muscle stripped from flesh. Kinder’s sculpture has a personal, emotional feel, perhaps due to the medium—the touch of the artist’s hand is evident in the delicate channels that connect Kinder’s words.

Chloé Hupin ’24 contributed several ceramic pieces, including four bowls and two plates. I was fortunate to encounter Hupin in front of her work and ask her a few questions. Her bowls were rife with the unique asymmetry of hand-built ceramic. I inquired why she chose hand-building over the uniform process of throwing on a wheel.

“I actually was planning to use a wheel,” Hupin told me. “But when I sat down at my great-aunt’s wheel, it immediately broke.” Improvising an alternative method, Hupin rolled out slabs of clay and draped them across aluminum bowls, hand-molding their shape and allowing them to dry enough to be removed from their casts. After bisque-firing each bowl, Hupin added elements unique to each piece. “Botanical,” a 12-inch bowl coated in robin’s egg blue, is carved with leaves, flowers and other horticultural patterns. Two other pieces decorated with images from antiquity, “Muses” and “Amphora Moon,” were inspired in name and subject matter by her experiences on an archaeological dig in Italy.

Oil painting was the hot medium of “Emerging Shapes.” Catherine Borthwick ’24

[Disclaimer: Borthwick is Live Events Chair for The Miscellany News] submitted a series of still life paintings in monochromatic tones imbued with quiet contemplation. “Cup,” a

small painting done in oil on wood, captures a household object in beautiful, gestural light. Next to Borthwick’s pieces were five of Harry Malone’s paintings. “Cradle of Fire” and “Elegy” caught my eye: two paintings of fire, one a burning ship and the other a burning house. Malone’s paintings are alive with light and terror, contrasting blazes of destruction with rich darkness in the swelling ocean and silent trees.

Malone’s paintings are alive with light and terror, contrasting blazes of destruction with rich darkness in the swelling ocean and silent trees.

Gallery 40’s student exhibition showcases a range of mediums, subject matter and experiences. The show is an excellent opportunity for students to participate in their first gallery show, an impressive accomplishment for any aspiring artist. The cramped conditions of the hallway space and noise pollution from the adjoining cafe unfortunately subtract from the viewing experience of the work. Nonetheless, the student talent on display transcends the space they inhabit, and the impressive variety of art keeps the show engaging. “Emerging Shapes” is on view at 40 Cannon St. until Nov. 12, 2023.

Examining a new queer coming-of-age film

Continued from FILM on page 1

discrimination and violence against openly queer individuals during a late 1980s America. This is what I believe to be the essence of a coming-of-age film: one that does not shy away from being uncomfortable, showing the realities that the “othered” members of society have to face. The raw emotions displayed by Pelayo and Gonzales bring the movie’s realism and dark plotline to the forefront.

Acceptance of one’s identity is the ultimate lesson that “Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe” attempts to convey. This notion becomes especially clear towards the end of the film when Ari is confronted by Dante’s love for him. Initially, he is adamant against showing any form of romantic affection, having not yet come to terms with his genuine feelings for Dante. However, as Ari’s violent and jealous tendencies start to unrav-

el, he is faced with the decision to finally accept Dante into his life out of fear of hurting him and others. I greatly appreciate the movie for how it approaches the sensitive and under-explored topic of discovering one’s sexuality from the lens of queer people of color. Alberto does an excellent job at showing that for people of color, this discovery and realization can be especially challenging given their cultural differences and obstacles. Alberto recognizes that queer people of color navigate the world uniquely, as represented by Ari’s acceptance of his sexuality. Furthermore, this movie’s recurring themes provide viewers who personally identify with Ari and Dante with a conviction to finally embrace themselves, which I find important as well. Considering this is her debut feature film, I believe Alberto did the book justice and directed a movie that will connect with gen-

This is what I believe to be the essence of a coming-of-age film: one that does not shy away from being uncomfortable, showing the realities that the “othered” members of society have to face.

erations to come. The seven years that were committed to this passion project will not be without praise. I write this review with

the hope of encouraging others to watch the film while it is still screening. Ever since its release a month ago, it has started to fade out of theaters entirely. It is a shame that indie films are not represented to their fullest in Hollywood compared to popular blockbusters such as “Barbie” (2023), a trend that I hope changes for the better in the near future. Watching the movie in theaters was a special experience for me and a number of others I spoke to who saw the movie. Although not readily available in Poughkeepsie, there are a few screenings left at the Angelika Film Center & Cafe in New York City. The film will be available to watch on popular streaming platforms in due time, which I also encourage! I wish to pass this wonderful experience to those reading right now; “Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe” is not one to miss!

Karen Mogami/The Miscellany News.

10 years older I must admit: I still love Taylor Swift

Abby Kotar Guest Columnist

Like the average Swiftie, I cried when Taylor Swift announced “1989 (Taylor’s Version).” But, as any true fan would know, the announcement was hardly a surprise; it was an inevitability we had all been waiting for. It is common knowledge that Taylor is in the process of re-recording her old albums, but the order of release remains (somewhat) unknown. However, Taylor did not leave us entirely in the dark; she has been dropping hints along the way. Taylor wrapped up the U.S. leg of her tour on Aug. 9 (commonly written as 8/9), and on that night, she wore exclusively blue costumes. Despite my unwavering certainty, I still cried. My tears were not solely a celebration of her monumental success; they were also a poignant reminder of the deeply personal connection I have with “1989.”

“1989” is not just an album to me; it is the very start of my consciousness, the birth of my “real life.” Middle school, as we all know, is a perplexing test of one’s character. In 2014, I started seventh grade, a tumultuous time marked by the loss of old friends, the development of new ones and the ultimate discovery of myself.

I recall the morning of Oct. 27, 2014, when I eagerly reached for my iPad and launched iTunes to listen to snippets of the album. In those days, there was no Apple Music or Spotify, and as a 12 year old, I lacked the funds to buy the entire album. So, I played the 30-second previews of each song, desperately trying to commit every note to heart. On the bus ride to school, I tried to sing the snippets from memory. That evening, I pleaded with my dad to drive my sister and me to Target to purchase the CD version, which came with exclusive Polaroid photos. My dad reluctantly agreed, and that excursion marked my first visit to Target, igniting another obsession for another time. In that moment, I felt an inexplicable connection to something greater than myself.

That year I even helped create the Taylor Swift fan club, endorsed by our science teach-

er. For the first time I realized I should be like other girls. Liking “girly” things was fun and created a bond with many different people. As an identical twin, I always had to stand out to be seen as my own person. I could not like Sleeping Beauty because she was my twin’s favorite princess. I pretended to like other princesses more even though her pink dress was my favorite. Taylor Swift changed that. For once, I did not have to be unique. That summer, fortune smiled upon me as my generous aunt and uncle gifted me tickets to the “1989 World Tour.” Besides The Wiggles, Taylor Swift became the first artist I saw live. I was shocked she was real. I was spellbound throughout the entire evening, and even when it took us over two hours to escape the MetLife parking lot, my grin remained.

For me, “1989” was a mesmerizing journey filled with joyous memories, but the album and its era transcended mere entertainment. Beneath the veneer of its upbeat tunes lay a profound wellspring of pain, evident in Taylor’s songwriting.

While Swift had already amassed a multitude of awards prior to the release of “1989,” this album marked a pivotal shift in her career and arguably revolutionized the music industry itself. Before “1989,” Taylor had predominantly focused on country music, and she even lost a Grammy for “Red” be-

cause critics found the album lacked “sonic cohesion,” according to Taylor Swift. Taylor took this critique to heart and channeled it into creating a full-fledged pop masterpiece, an album that shattered records with hit after hit. “1989” sold over a million copies in its first week according to Billboard and earned the Grammy for Album of the Year. However, global success came at a price. In her documentary “Miss Americana,” Taylor candidly revealed her battle with an eating disorder during the “1989 World Tour.” To the world, this era was electrifying, but for Taylor, it was a struggle to maintain the facade of perfection.

The original album cover depicted only Taylor’s lips and upper body, deliberately concealing her eyes and full face. Originally, the Polaroid showcased her full smile, yet she changed the cover as she felt insecure about it, deeming it insufficiently “cool” for an album cover. Her unwavering focus on crafting the best-selling album had led her to lose herself in the process.

Now, “1989 (Taylor’s Version)” showcases Taylor with a radiant, unabashed smile—the first time she has ever unveiled her joy so openly on an album cover. After her recovery from an eating disorder, her tumultuous feud with Kanye West in 2016 that tainted her reputation and the heartache of losing her

music to Scooter Braun, Taylor has emerged as a renewed version of herself. She appears content and secure as one of the most accomplished artists in history. While her re-recording project began as a personal mission to regain ownership of her music, it has been embraced by fans as a grand spectacle. When I listen to “1989,” I am transported back to the seventh-grade version of myself, a young girl struggling with shyness, insecurity and the fear of not meeting others’ expectations. Some of those insecurities still linger, but I have evolved alongside Taylor Swift and our lives have become intrinsically intertwined. I have no desire to relive seventh grade, but I do hope to create even more cherished memories with an album that holds profound meaning for both my past and present selves. “1989” reconnects me with the innocence of my childhood, a time when I made music videos to Taylor’s music and skipped through the aisles of Target. “1989 (Taylor’s Version)” inspires me to hope for the same exuberance and carefree energy as I embark on my senior year of college. The original “1989” Polaroids still hang on the wall of my new home in the South Commons after I took them out of my childhood bedroom. A lot has changed since then, but ultimately I am the same, a girl trying to find her place in this world.

Olivia Rodrigo admits ‘love is embarrassing’ on ‘GUTS’

Emma Lawrence Columnist

Olivia Rodrigo dropped her sophomore album, “GUTS,” on Sept. 8, 2023. Piercing, reckless and full of angst, this album is the perfect soundtrack for all of the 20-something teenage girls out there. Following her previous artistic endeavor, “SOUR,” Rodrigo continues to seamlessly reflect on her questionable romantic choices over the years in a way that forces you to relate. This 12-song album is 39 minutes of girlhood to its core, ranging from jealous ballads to punk-rock anthems about waking up in your ex’s bed. Again.

“all-american bitch” kicks off the musical escape, garnering inspiration from Joan Didion’s book “The White Album.” To be an American woman is to be sensual yet virginal, beautiful yet humble, and always appreciative for what you have. Rodrigo explores the impossibility of morphing into what is considered the “perfect girl” in a sea of contradictions. The chorus screams “Forgive, and I forget/ I know my age and I act like it,” clapping back at the familiar phrase “act your age.” As the guitars shred, almost like a tantrum, the musicality immediately reverts back to twinkly acoustic strums, a complete juxtaposition. As the song reaches a climax,

Rodrigo builds up frustration: “I know my place, I know my place and this is it/ I don’t get angry when I’m pissed, I’m the eternal optimist.” Women are not supposed to get angry, right? Then, she screams. Not a stylized, musical scream—a full on meltdown. Fed up with having to suppress her emotions, Rodrigo concludes with reciting her affirmations, keeping herself in check: “Oh, all the time, I’m grateful all the time (All the fucking time)/ I’m sexy and I’m kind, I’m pretty when I cry.”

Channeling her inner Carrie Underwood, the listener can really picture Rodrigo slashing her ex’s tires in a fit of rage. Or writing him love letters.

Another feature of the quintessential girlhood experience is the dreaded hookup with an absolute loser. “bad idea, right?” acknowledges this directly in the title. Opening with a door squeak and a hushed greeting, Rodrigo immediately immerses the audience into

the scene of the crime. “I tripped and fell into his bed!” It is amazing how alcohol and delusion can trick your brain into thinking a drunk hookup with your ex will remedy your wounded self-esteem. A flurry of blah blah blahs drown out any sensible thought Rodrigo has in her mind, begging her not to do this. Will you regret this in the morning? “Fuck it, it’s fine.”

In a complete 180, Rodrigo flirts with the idea of actually getting back together with said ex. “get him back!” is a chaotic mix of eye-rolling and revenge seeking. “He had an ego and a temper and a wandering eye/ He said he’s six-foot-two, and I’m like, ‘Dude, nice try.’’’ Rodrigo begins by recounting her tumultuous relationship, simultaneously dissing and missing the “fame fucker,” coined earlier in the album with lead single “vampire.” The chorus reveals the double entendre that lies within the title: “I wanna make him really jealous, wanna make him feel bad… ’Cause then again, I really miss him, and it makes me real sad.” She even drags his mom into the mix during the bridge—that is when you know it is serious. Channeling her inner Carrie Underwood, the listener can really picture Rodrigo slashing her ex’s tires in a fit of rage. Or writing him love letters. I cannot seem to decide, and neither can Rodrigo.

The chorus screams “Forgive, and I forget/ I know my age and I act like it,” clapping back at the familiar phrase “act your age.” As the guitars shred, almost like a tantrum, the musicality immediately reverts back to twinkly acoustic strums, a complete juxtaposition.

Overall, “GUTS” is the ideal album to scream as you egg your ex’s house. From embarrassing realizations (“love is embarrassing”) to echoey acoustic ballads (“lacy”), there is truly a song everyone can relate to. Accurately embodying the kaleidoscope of emotions that is girlhood, listening to her latest work makes you feel like you have been cheated on in the best way possible.

Image courtesy of Wikimedia Commons.

Advice from abroad: What I wish I knew before committing

Continued from STUDY on page October 5, 2023

ed to visit while abroad. Since being here, I have narrowed it down to leave room for places I had not previously considered. Early on, I took a spontaneous trip to Oslo, Norway with friends I had just met, and it was one of the best experiences of my time abroad. Given that it was booked last minute, we did not have a strict itinerary, so we opted to walk around the neighborhood we were staying in and make our way through the city on foot. By doing this, we stumbled across a church culture fair and were able to talk to a local about their community as well as places we should visit during our time there. We also ran into an artisan market with local vendors selling their products and other vendors with gently used items for sale. Both of these experiences complemented the traditional tourist activities we also did, like seeing the opera house and The Royal Palace. Lastly, studying abroad still involves studying, which looks different than at

Vassar (obviously, but read on). Although there is more freedom to choose your classes and less pressure from exams, there is a lot of prep work, and the support systems abroad are less accessible than we are used to. Before departure, have an honest conversation with an on-theground academic support member and/ or a student alum if you can contact one. Their perspective will help give you the best picture of how your learning style will fit into your new classroom, as well as the resources available to support you.

Images courtesy of Maryam Bacchus ’25.

FEATURES

Writer reflects on experience of growing up

Natalia Fay Guest Columnist

Ican remember my fourth grade birthday party like the back of my hand. I was attending a new school with so many new people whom I cared about. I was overflowing with excitement at the prospect of my new friends visiting my house for the first time and for us to be all together in celebration. But that is not what I mean by remembering. I remember setting up the decorations on the deck in my backyard. I remember the party hats and the shiny “happy birthday” banner on the flower trellis. I remember the fear. I was turning 10 years old, and I was terrified. What if these people did not show up, what if something went wrong, what if they came and decided it was boring? One by one, my friends arrived. In a few hours, they de-

parted after leaving me with gifts and memories and nicknames for each other that my parents still reference from time to time. The fear never left, though. It is almost ironic how the month and date of my next birthday almost exactly coincide with graduation. It will be a day of celebration, where people I care about come into my home and meet other people I care about. It will be a day of laughter and photos and fancy clothes, and it will be a day of fear and loss. I have always been scared of not belonging anywhere or to anyone. Planted in my head at such a young age is a strangling vine climbing on my tree of life, and I used to think that growing up was defeating the weeds in my garden. Sometimes, I think growing up is understanding that I can never go back to that date before my fourth grade birthday party. I will never have my siblings

in the same house like that again. I will never be followed by my childhood dog through the house as I prance in my party clothes. I will never live without that trembling fear. After graduation this May, I will never live with these friends again. I will never walk

through the quad and wave at classroom acquaintances, mutual friends that I really want to get to know better.

I used to think growing up was a lot of things. I was so excited for life and dreaded it at the same time. I wanted to stay a child, and I wanted to live a whole life. At times I hold contradictory feelings, and maybe that is what it means to grow up; it is wanting to be with friends and fearing them, leaving people and memories behind, yet keeping pieces of them with you at the same time.

Maybe I will never truly know what it is like to grow up, and that is okay. All I need is a sunny day, people I care about, good food, love, light and laughter. And maybe a dog or two.If that is what growing up means, then I will release my fourth grade self into the sunlight of that spring day. I think she will enjoy it, and I hope she does.

‘Gilmore Girls Fall’ versus ‘Gossip Girl Fall’

It is that time of year again. Fall, autumn, the time of pumpkin spice, apple picking, pumpkin patches and warm apple cider. The air becomes crisp, the leaves are falling and it is nearing the acceptable time to eat pumpkin pie. This change in seasons is often associated with the television show “Gilmore Girls” and the term “Gilmore Girls Fall.” However, as “Gilmore Girls Fall” has gained more popularity within the media, especially Tiktok, the phrase has been countered with the new concept of a “Gossip Girl Fall.”

“Gilmore Girls” is a drama-comedy that debuted in 2000. It follows a witty, lovable mother and daughter duo, Lorelai and Rory. For seven seasons, viewers watched and fell in love with their life in the small town of Stars Hollow, Connecticut. “Gilmore Girls” is known for its representation of complex familial bonds, quirky characters and impeccable vibes.

On the other hand, “Gossip Girl” is a drama that debuted in 2007. It follows a group of wealthy teenagers on the Upper East Side of Manhattan, New York City. The show is narrated by an omniscient, mysterious blogger that is known as “Gossip Girl.” People love “Gossip Girl” for its lavishness and ongoing drama, along with its iconic fashion. New York City is also a central theme to the show and becomes a sort of character unto itself.

It makes sense that both shows would be associated with fall. They both emit the essence of the season even though they are year-round shows. “Gilmore Girls” encapsulates a cozy, small-town New England fall, while “Gossip Girl” channels the classic autumn in New York City with a dark academia ambiance surrounded by status, wealth and gossip. And of course, there are the iconic “Gossip Girl” Thanksgiving episodes, my favorite being Episode 11 of season three, “The Treasure of Serena Madre,” because Aaron Tveit is in it. Both shows are specific takes on the fall aesthetic, even though their core themes contrast each other.

Although the question of which early 2000s teen girl television show represents fall better may seem insignificant, it happens to be an important debate to many. It is the battle of the GGs, if you will.

I had never been aware of the debate because I have always associated “Gilmore Girls” with fall. As a New Englander, nothing seems more fall to me than a small town in Connecticut where the main characters go to the same small coffee shop everyday and eat loads of familiar food. As the weather gets

cooler, I seek comfort, so I naturally turn to “Gilmore Girls”—a show that feels peaceful and easy. My sister, an avid “Gilmore Girls” fan said, “‘Gilmore Girls’ is very warm and provides a feeling of comfort, just like fall does.”

Carina Cole ’26 [Disclaimer: Cole is an Assistant Features Editor for The Miscellany News] agrees with this feeling. When asked about “Gilmore Girls,” she said, “It is—and always will be—a ‘Gilmore Girls’ Fall. I grew up in a small town in Pennsylvania which reminds me a lot of Stars Hollow. Fall is for driving down twisty roads and hearing the wheels of your car speed over crunching leaves. It is also for going to local coffee shops and wearing big cozy sweaters and sitting for hours on end not doing anything but looking at shades of orange and red outside.” “Gilmore Girls” embodies Cole’s version of fall, so to her, fall is naturally associated with the show. However, though small town New England fall is a classic, that is not everyone’s version of fall. The phrase “there is nothing like autumn in New York” is astoundingly true. It is special to be in a place of endless buildings,

sidewalks and people and still see glimpses of fall with the vibrant colors of leaves. Fall brings so much natural beauty to the city.

The differing fall aesthetics are where the “Gilmore Girls” versus “Gossip Girl” debate stems. It is hot coffee and tea while curling up in a big cozy sweater during a rainy day with a good book versus taking walks in the foliage or going to parties and events in fashionable fall outfits, drinking an iced drink and reading heavy literature in aesthetically historical buildings.

Sophia Fredericks ’26, a native New Yorker, believes it is a Gossip Girl Fall. She said, “My personal style aligns more with the ‘Gossip Girl’ girls.” For Fredericks, she feels she matches the “Gossip Girl” aesthetic more than “Gilmore Girls.” Fredericks, however, also said, “I like that the ‘Gossip Girl’ characters are equally fun and intelligent and studious. Personally, I don’t like what Rory does after she goes to college, and I don’t choose to align myself with that.” The debate runs deeper than just the aesthetic of the shows. Fredericks sees what the shows represent in a broader sense, and that is what influences

which show she aligns with.

Fredericks goes on to say, “As college students, we should work on being more independent, and I feel like the ‘Gossip Girl’ characters are forging their own path and Rory is not necessarily doing that. I want to channel that energy.” Fredericks appreciates the energy of “Gossip Girl” and wants to bring that energy to her own life.

Despite these strong pro-“Gossip Girl” feelings due to seeing relations to Fredericks’ own life, Cole sees connections to our own campus community. She said, “‘Gilmore Girls’ is a perfect representation of this small-town fall. In a way, our campus is sort of like a little town. Maybe if I went to school in a city I would feel differently, but for now at least it is a ‘Gilmore Girls’ Fall for sure.”

I guess that there is no real correct answer to this debate. It is all about preference and what you view as fall. This could be due to where you grew up or the kind of community you are searching for. Either way, I wish you a happy fall, and I hope you channel whatever fall aesthetic you identify with because fall is a magical time in the Northeast.

Kathryn Carvel Copy Staffer

[Graduation] will be a day of laughter and photos and fancy clothes, and it will be a day of fear and loss.

Image courtesy of Wikimedia Commons.

Breaking News

From the desk of Nicholas Tillinghast, Humor Editor

Humor Editor absolutely NAILS “Primates” midterm. Editor-in-Chief does just okay on it.

Ranking Florida theme parks as a Floridian

Orlando, Florida: A place infested with the infamous Florida Man, the largest retirement community in the United States and, of course, theme parks.

I’m a semi-proud Floridian. I have lived in Florida for about 12 years, so I consider myself a pretty valid source on this topic. That being said, I am going to discuss the major theme parks and give them a rating. These are my correct opinions and I won’t be taking any criticism.

Disney World

The massive Disney conglomerate of Animal Kingdom, Hollywood Studios, Epcot and Magic Kingdom attracts tourists from all over the world, but not me. Personally, I’ve only been there a few times. I’m not the biggest fan of screaming children, tourists and Disney adults. You have not known true terror until you’ve looked into the eyes of a fully grown adult who considers Disney their home. Bonus points if they have multiple pairs of Mickey ears. Magic Kingdom gets extra points in my book for having fun decorations and a cute Halloween event for little kids and college-aged young adults who are too scared to try to go to Universal’s Halloween Horror Nights (not speaking from experience).

I am giving the Disney Parks a rating of 5/10. I’m docking points for the traffic and the ugly Disney-themed houses and neighborhoods that are located around the parks. However, to quote my high school economics teacher: “You do not mess with the Rat. The Rat has more money than God.” I’m adding the extra points for nostalgia, but mostly out of fear of the Rat.

Busch Gardens

I know that Busch Gardens is in Tampa, not Orlando, but I decided to include it anyway because I want to and this is my list. I went there once on a field trip in middle school and it was pretty fun, so I’m going to give it a crisp 6/10. I’m giving them points for the fun roller

coasters, but I’m taking points off for the captive animals. I saw someone who works at the park walking a cheetah on a leash to show it to people, and I don’t love that. It seems dangerous, but also mean. Have you ever tried to walk a cat? Me neither, but it doesn’t seem like it would go over too well.

Universal Studios & Islands of Adventure

This theme park is hands down my favorite out of the popular ones in Orlando. My personal favorite is Islands of Adventure, mostly because of the roller coasters. Side note: you should never wait in the general line at a theme park. Why do that when you can get through the line so much faster if you go in the single-rider section? Sure, you have to sit next to a stranger for about 3 minutes, but it’s worth it to avoid waiting in line for two hours. Anyway, I try to avoid the Dr. Seuss section of the park because it is incredibly unsettling to me. I always have and always will be freaked out by Dr. Seuss.

Universal Studios is home to an excessive number of Minion-themed attractions, drawing in plenty of people who still unironically repost Minion memes. The worst part of the park is the Simpsons area. I truly hate everything about it and I’m not accepting any criticism. I stepped foot in that area once and I have never and will never go there again.

Overall, I’m rating Universal an 8/10. I’m docking points for the parts of the park that I don’t like, but other than that I really have no complaints about it.

Seaworld

I haven’t been to Seaworld very often. I went on a field trip in seventh grade and we were required to go to the show where they make the whales and dolphins do tricks. Much to the chaperones’ dismay, the show ended with approximately 130 12-year-olds chanting “whale jail.”

Seaworld gets a 2/10. I don’t think that I need to explain this.

Legoland

I’ve never been but 9/10, the concept sounds

very cool.

The Water Parks of Orlando

I don’t have much to say about these either. The ones that I can think of are Aquatica, Discovery Cove, Blizzard Beach and Volcano Bay. These are all subsets of the larger parks mentioned earlier, providing extra fun for people looking to swim around in huge pools filled with germs and bacteria. My mom is not a fan of water parks, so I was never allowed to go to them when I was little.

Now I, too, hate water parks. I don’t know if this is because I am subconsciously upset that I never got to go to water parks when my friends went, or because I finally realized how gross they are. All I’m picturing is people walking into bathrooms with bare feet and little kids (and probably adults) peeing in the pools. That’s absolutely repulsive. 1/10—water

parks are a vile place to spend your time and money.

Honorary mention: Gatorland

The true jewel of the Orlando area: Gatorland. I’ve only been once and it’s not a theme park but it truly changed the trajectory of my life. It is also the third best place to buy funny Florida tourist merchandise, behind airport gift shops and the random stores around Disney. People can pay to zipline over a lake designed to encourage alligators to mate. I don’t know about you, but personally, I don’t want to zipline over a lake full of amorous alligators. Despite the potential threat of falling into a pool of gators, I thought the park was pretty entertaining. 10/10. I like looking at alligators and I also bought my favorite t-shirt from there; a true Florida experience all-around.

Families Weekend ages student activities 60 years

Shocking. Transformative. Awe-inspiring. These are three words that a very real student said when they observed that, thanks to Families Weekend, Vassar College recently underwent a massive transformation. You may be asking yourself, “What do you mean, ‘transformation’?” Surely, the notorious rats of the campus still hold true authority and the Retreat persists in selling Dust Bowl-level-dry sandwiches? Fear not, because these circumstances persist. Rather, a social transformation has overtaken the campus as kids engage in a new activity that has been coined: the de-party. With the oncoming influx of parents, students no longer have the time or the mindset to flock to the usual TH parties

where loud music and low lighting abound. Rather, students are electing to take part in a more retirement-home-esque routine. With thickly rimmed spectacles, students in Jewett can be seen occupying the common room playing Bingo. Students such as Billy Nare ’27 transform from anonymous first-years identifiable only by their fullbody jorts to notorious champions when they conquer this nonagenarian game. Nare reports, “I was in tight competition with Gamsen Thusiast. I had four in a diagonal and she had four across. But I knew luck was on my side. As soon as the announcer called ‘N 43,’ I said, ‘Huh? Sorry, young lady, could you speak up? What did you say? Send more trees? G 17? Miss? Could you speak it right into my ear? My tufts of ear hair act as an almost impenetrable barrier to most sound waves.’ Then, Synthia,

the sweet announcer, yelled into my ear ‘N 43.’ Instantly, it was over for Gamsen. I shouted Bingo and realized I had achieved self-actualization on Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. I’m sorry, does anyone have a handkerchief? I think I left mine when I was cleaning my dictaphone and this is just truly a sentimental moment.”

Students in Raymond have been spotted playing chess in the light of dwindling candles. Dressed in ornate caps and gowns, these Scrooge-looking figures will probably end up in a stalemate. They’re not too timid to ask you hard-hitting questions in the heat of the game like, “What piece is this?” and, “When will my wife Mary-Lou come back? I haven’t seen her since the War of 1812.” Just as one week ago, they loved the song “Love Sosa” by Chief Keef, now their new favorite hits include “Unintelligible

Caveman,” “White Noise” and “Silence.”

You may wonder why call it a de-party rather than an anti-party or geriatric gathering? Well, these endlessly entertaining hang-outs have been coined de-parties thanks to the fleeting nature of the events. Because of the propensity of these college students to fall asleep and emit dinosaur-esque snores, festivities promptly end at 7 p.m. The rambunctious teens then “depart” back to their bedrooms for a mere 14 hours of rest.

Even though Families Weekend is now over, it appears that this crazy new de-party culture is here to stay. So watch out for underclassmen who can play a mean game of Gin Rummy and upperclassmen who… Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Sorry, what was I saying? Oh yes, back in my day…

Jordan Alch Afraid of the Rat

Cassandra Brook Partying Like It’s 1959

Nicholas Tillinghast/The Miscellany News.

OBSERVATION #7

They ran out of lily pads.

Anna Kozloski

Well, guys, I did it: I finally got COVID

Abright red line. So immediate, so definitive that I thought it was the control line. It wasn’t. That line soon appeared too. I took another test, an expired one I had lying around. Same thing, two lines. The next day, I took another one at 8 a.m. before “Primates.” Two lines again. Three tests (all of which may or may not have expired) said I had COVID-19.

“What was it like for you this time?” My friend Vaughn asked me after I got out of isolation.

“Oh, this was my first time getting COVID.” Vaughn was shocked. Perhaps I got COVID at some point in the past four years and didn’t know it, but this was at least the first time I’ve consciously had COVID. It being nearly four years into life with COVID, I missed out on all the bells and whistles of getting campus COVID in semesters past. I didn’t get the COVID hotel, or PB’s cookies for the ill (perhaps she’s a bit more preoccupied these days). I didn’t even get to be a statistic on the COVID dashboard. It was just me and my humble Main single.

After living through all of that time without COVID, a part of me thought I was in the club of people immune to the virus. It gave me a weird sense of pride, the same pride I feel about being left-footed. Alas, I am but the average bear when it comes to COVID. I was a junior in high school when the pandemic started, and now I’m a junior in college—COVID finally caught me.

Despite the scary bright line, my symptoms were pretty minimal. I mean, I had a real faucet of a nose for like a day and a half and then I lost my sense of smell, but that was about it. Also, walking from Main to Central Receiving took EFFORT last week. I missed smelling quite a bit, but I was also aware that most of Main smells like cat food all the time, so maybe I lucked out.

I really didn’t mind missing classes. I didn’t even really mind missing club meetings. I did mind that I wasn’t able to perform comedy for a stand-up show, an event that I

booked for three days before I got COVID— that was tragic. I booked for Friday, my last day in isolation. With all that pleasant free time in isolation, though, I was able to accomplish some stuff, like making an attempt to grow a beard and spilling a cup of water on my laptop (never said they were good accomplishments).

The computer thing happened on the third day of isolation. I have a bad habit with tech where I’ll do the most boneheaded, worst possible thing you could do to it. What should you not do with a phone? Fumble it down a four-floor stairwell. What you should not do with a 2TB hard drive? Lose it. You get the idea with the laptop.

“Well this isn’t good,” I thought as I sopped up water from the keyboard and the screen. After that, everything still looked fine, until it didn’t. It was like that scene in “Indiana Jones” where he replaces the idol and he thinks he did it right until a huge boulder comes at him.

No boulders for me, just a thick, dark vertical line that appeared minutes later down the right side of the screen. Two days later, there were vertical lines racing up and down the screen. In fact, this article was written on said line-ridden computer. I’m getting a lot of hate from lines right now, horizontal and vertical. Diagonal lines are the only ones still on my side.

I did have one real accomplishment this week. I had a bunch of camera equipment rented from the Film Department for the week, so I spent much of my time in isolation editing, recording and eventually filming a video for the comedy show I couldn’t go to, which meant editing on my janky ass computer. If you were watching my film during the show and thought, “Huh, the color grading on the last clip looks kinda fucked,” it’s because I edited it on a screen that was absolutely fucked.

The video-making kept me occupied for quite a while, scavenging bizarre clips off of YouTube and recording voice-over with a blanket over my head. I even filmed a segment outside where I expressed my disap-

pointment of not being there. Everything came together for the show day.

Despite not being able to be physically present at the show, I was still really excited about it, so I spent Friday night lurking out in front of Sanders Auditorium to watch the latecomers arrive between 9 and 9:20 p.m. while trying to hide the fact that I was literally just there to watch attendance numbers and to vicariously experience the show. I wonder if any attendees had the experience of watching my video where I say I couldn’t make it to the show, and then remembering seeing me right outside the venue minutes ago. That’s some serious gaslighting on my part. I can imagine the conversations after the show.

“I swear I saw the guy in the video outside before we came in. He was standing outside in front of the building. It was really weird.”

“Was he doing anything?”

“Nothing. He was just lurking. Watching. Waiting. Like Mothman. Wait, there he is again! I just saw him leaning out behind that tree!” (I also came back outside at the end of the show to watch people leave). It just goes to show ya: you can take the man out of comedy, but you can’t take the lurking outside of comedy shows out of the man.

Well that was COVID. Kinda sucked, kinda didn’t. Wouldn’t recommend it to a friend.

Nicholas Tillinghast

The Masked Singer

Nicholas Tillinghast/The Miscellany News.

Vassar brings in totally functional automatic showers

Benjamin Savel In Hot Water

In the most state-of-the-art renovations to Vassar’s campus in the past decade, the upgrades have all shared one improvement in common: the addition of automatic sinks. In parts of Main, Cushing, New England and Sanders Physics, sinks have been freed of their handles, mesmerizing their users as their hands are washed on a journey to the future through highly refined advancements in cutting-edge modern technology.

After observing the success of these sinks (and ignoring giant puddles of water on the floor), Vassar has taken another bold step and pioneered the next innovation in the automatic water industry: automatic showers.

Vassar inventor Gene E. Yuss explained how he mustered the brainpower for such an insightful move. “I looked at all of the world’s problems and thought about how I could make my mark. Deadly climate change. International migrant crises. Mil-

After observing the success of these sinks (and ignoring giant puddles of water on the floor), Vassar has taken another bold step and pioneered the next innovation in the automatic water industry: automatic showers.

lions of famished families. I knew these had to be addressed.”

“But for me, one crisis loomed larger than them all: the two seconds it takes to lift up a sink or shower handle.”

Yuss’ idea has now been implemented in all dorm showers. To operate the shower stalls, students wave their hands frantically in front of the shower head until the water comes out. The water will either be scalding

The water will either be scalding hot or fresh-outof-Antarctica cold, with no option to control the temperature.

hot or fresh-out-of-Antarctica cold, with no option to control the temperature. Yuss’ assistant Ann Noy Ing provided The Misc with some insight as to why the temperature control has been removed.

“One of the biggest features of showers is the ability to make the water warmer or cooler,” Ing explained. “When Yuss forgot to include a lever in our sinks and showers, we just kinda said ‘Whoops!’ and hoped no one would notice. Innovation, right?”

The two inventors also explained how they decided how long the water will run for. According to their assistant Incon V. E. Nient, a proper hand-washing is supposed to last about 20 seconds and a shower around five to ten minutes. Yuss kept these key figures in mind as he designed the apparatuses, except at the end when he completely forgot about them. The scalding or freezing water will spray in short bursts for three to five seconds until you can find the sensor again.

To top it off, Yuss and his team wanted to make sure that all of the useful functionalities of manually controlled sinks or showers were completely removed. There is now no way to control the pressure of the shower; pressure is now completely up to the fate of the 1890s plumbing in your dorm room. Yuss and Ing assured us that this will create

no problems whatsoever and even offered us a pinky promise as a token of their virtuousness.

Next week, Yuss will share more of his ingenuity with the Vassar community, delivering a three-hour lecture on why he installed windows in some of the showers in Noyes.

Deecegea?! Tectonic activity terrorizes Vassar students

Emma daRosa Constantly Drifting

As I sat in the Deece one morning a few weeks ago, digging into my 11eleventh bowl of oatmeal with raisins, I noticed something…odd. No, it was not pizza with shrimp on it, or somebody walking around barefoot. What I experienced was even more unsettling. I felt the very table I was sitting at move ever so slightly away from me. I glanced up and down the tables’ long, jagged edges, but I saw nobody near enough

I felt the very table I was sitting at move ever so slightly away from me. I glanced up and down the tables’ long, jagged edges, but I saw nobody near enough to be the culprit. I went back to my oats, but then it happened again!

to be the culprit. I went back to my oats, but then it happened again! In fact, over the next few days I would notice all the tables in the Deece slowly moving tiny amounts towards each other. I knew this was no laughing matter, so I jumped into action.

I immediately suspected tectonic activity, so I reached out to every single person in the

Earth Science and Geography Department. Over the next week, we worked as a team to establish what exactly was amiss with the Deece tables. By tracking the tables, making chalk outlines and taking careful measurements, the entire Earth Science and Geography Department and I determined that the Deece tables are all slowly moving towards each other at a shockingly rapid rate.

This news was a major surprise to both me and the Earth Science and Geography Department. We sprang into action trying to come up with some reason behind why the Deece tables had decided to strike out on their own. We finally came to the one and only obvious conclusion; the Deece tables were never meant to be separated in the first place.

It’s been long rumored that the Deece tables are actually one large table that fits together like a beautiful family-style puzzle. Well dear reader, you heard it here first, this is NO rumor. The Earth Science and Geography Department and I have decided to name this mega table “Deecegea.”

Through science, I determined that the formation of Deecegea was always just a matter of time. The Deece tables were never meant to be brutally ripped apart from one another. You can think of the Deece tables as an aspen grove, all sharing roots and destined to be together forever. The way we have forced them to ignore these roots and live separately from each other? Well there’s no other word for it besides barbaric. I spoke to the Earth Science and Geography Department, and they, speaking in unison, told me everything the people of Vassar College need

to know.

“Basically, Deecegea is coming and there’s nothing anyone can do to stop it. Vassar students can expect Deecegea to take its final form in like one to maybe 79 weeks. Hey! Maybe by then the Retreat will be open on weekends again and you won’t have to worry about it.”

Well readers, if you’re anything like me, those words sent a shiver down your spine. I can only imagine the kind of horrific fighting that will go on to get a seat around the table. I reached out to some concerned students, and here’s what they have to say.

The first student I spoke to told me, “I’m SUPER worried about this whole Deecegea thing. I never imagined competition for a Deece booth could get more intense, but now I’m seriously freaked. There’s going to

By tracking the tables, making chalk outlines and taking careful measurements, the entire Earth Science and Geography Department and I determined that the Deece tables are all slowly moving towards each other at a shockingly rapid rate.

be no privacy if we all have to sit together! I already see past situationships too much in here.”

Well readers, if you’re anything like me, those words sent a shiver down your spine. I can only imagine the kind of horrific fighting that will go on to get a seat around the table. I reached out to some concerned students, and here’s what they have to say.

Not every student shared these concerns though, and some even see Deecegea as a community-building opportunity. The second one I spoke with wanted me to know one thing, and one thing only. “It’s gonna be sick when all lacrosse guys can sit around the edge of Deecegea, you know, like the Last Supper.”

So, there you have it, Vassar students. Despite all my best science, and the efforts of the entire Earth Science and Geography Department, Deecegea is coming. All I can say to you now is be aware, and be prepared: eating in the Deece is about to get a whole lot cozier.

Nicholas Tillinghast/The Miscellany News.

Letter to the Editor: Vassar General Counsel responds

Iamwriting on behalf of Vassar’s Board of Trustees and Administration to correct the following inaccuracies from the letter to the editor, entitled “Women Professors Counter Bradley,” dated September 27th, 2023.

The assertion that Vassar has “agreed to” conduct an “independent compensation analysis” is not accurate. Rather, President Bradley, “invited our Faculty Compensation Committee to participate in selecting a third-party compensation

analysis firm to use our data and assess pay equity relative to our salary policies and practices,” as written here.

The current invitation from President Bradley for the FCC to participate in selecting a third-party compensation analysis firm arose directly as a response to faculty requests at the Sept. 13 faculty meeting to make salary data transparent.

It was not raised as an attempt to litigate the lawsuit in public, as the letter stated.

It should be noted that this was not

the first offer to work with the FCC on compensation matters. When the FCC requested greater data transparency last spring, President Bradley proposed that Vassar Human Resources join the discussion about faculty compensation; this would have included an external compensation analysis firm, one of which Human Resources has engaged for other analyses.

Vassar’s legal counsel has advised President Bradley not to discuss the lawsuit in any detail and not to take any actions that

would be outside of the normal progression of the case through the court system. The actions taken by President Bradley have been in fulfillment of her duties as President of the College, in an effort to continue to oversee the day-to-day operations of Vassar.

Sincerely,

Shay Humphrey General Counsel

Being pro-life also requires being pro-child care

Britt Andrade Columnist

Nineteen thousand two hundred and seventy dollars. That is the cost of a nine-and-a-half-month contract at Vassar College’s daycare. If your child is enrolled during the summer, you pay an additional tuition during the months of June, July and half of August. As a Vassar student, I am lucky enough to enjoy a scholarship that covers 90 percent of my son’s child care costs during the school year. During the summer, I pay full price. This is not a callout to Vassar College, by the way. My son has had a wonderful experience at his daycare. He has been enrolled since he was three months old. His class size is small, he has received and continues to receive amazing care from the highly trained staff, and he is so happy to see his friends that he normally does not even acknowledge my presence at drop off. No, this callout is directed at child care in general. We need to be realistic here, because it costs roughly $24,000 a year to send my child to a great daycare. If I did not have a scholarship to cover the majority of his care costs, then I probably would not be able to attend Vassar as a full-time student. He would be enrolled at a program out of someone’s home or at a

state- or federally-funded program like millions of other children. There is no shame in those programs. They are the lifeblood of the American economy, allowing many families to be dual-income homes. Unfortunately, that may all change very soon if we continue to treat child care as an individual responsibility instead of a very real societal one.

On Sept. 30, federal funding towards child care programming was drastically reduced and even cut in programs across the country. According to The Century Foundation, the American child care industry is headed towards a cliff, taking 3.2 million children with it. Over the last several years we have heard leaders discuss loudly that the economy did not struggle as much during the COVID-19 pandemic as many expected. This is in part because of the American Rescue Plan passed in 2021. This Plan, as outlined by Time, included $24 billion in child care stabilization grants. This provided a financial reprieve to providers grappling with the challenges presented by the pandemic. Funds were used by child care programs to improve workers’ compensation, cover expenses like rent and utilities, and purchase personal protective equipment and supplies for employees. As the American Rescue Plan comes to end, the consequences have the potential to be

dramatic and horrible for families affected. The American economy and job markets will also be affected as programs are forced to close their doors or reduce staffing to manage costs.

According to The Century Foundation, the lost tax and business revenue will likely cost states $10.6 billion in economic activity per year. They also project that millions of parents will be forced to either leave the workforce or reduce their hours, costing families $9 billion each year in lost earnings. Families who already live paycheck to paycheck will be at increased risk of food or housing insecurity. The child care workforce, one of the slowest sectors to recover from the pandemic, will potentially lose another 232,000 jobs, placing further strain on families’ wallets. Unfortunately, this issue also carries a stiff gendered penalty, as mothers and women will be disproportionately impacted by this issue. The majority of child care workers are women, the parents mostly likely to become a stay-athome parent or to reduce hours are women, and even a short-term break from working will have lifelong consequences. A study by the Center for American Progress found that a woman who takes just five years off around age 26 for caregiving would lose an estimated $467,000 over her working career, reducing

her lifetime earnings by 19 percent. Part-time jobs or breaks in a resume mean that women are also less likely to be offered consistent employer-sponsored retirement savings accounts, and will reduce Social Security contributions over their lifetimes.

Economically disadvantaged parents do not have the privilege of raising their children on the same playing field as other families. You cannot be pro-life and be anti-child care. You cannot say children are the future while simultaneously leaving them under-socialized and over-monitored. Daycare is the first place that many children meet children and adults who are not family. It provides safety and stability for both children and overworked parents who just want their kids to be safe while they grind away at earning a paycheck. Daycare is the first place many children receive confirmation of unique learning styles and neurodivergence diagnoses. Child care returns the village model to families in a time that many are parenting alone. More than the money, more than the economic autonomy it creates, more than anything else, child care saves families. If children are the future, you should consider what society will look like if 3.2 million children miss out on the foundational skills you learned in early child care.

Image courtesy of Wikimedia Commons.

Social media erupts over Swift-Kelce romance

Rebecca Goodman Guest Columnist

Picture this: the manliest man you know, the most Rah-Rah-America, beer and football fanatic, woman-hating guy, just got a notification from his ESPN app about Taylor Swift. Your annoying little brother just turned on the sports channel only to hear song reference after song reference about “that bitch who hates Kanye.” Your ex just heard Bill Belichick call your favorite artist the “biggest catch” of Travis Kelce’s career. Hey Siri, play “I Bet You Think About Me.”

We do not know if this Swift-Kelce romance is serious, or if it will go anywhere beyond a few casual dates, but that does not matter. The importance of this relationship lies not in its potential fruition, but in its public impact.

Taylor Swift’s power is not unknown—she caused a literal earthquake—but on Sunday, Sept. 24, she may have made her biggest move yet: She infiltrated the NFL. Long

mocked for writing songs about ex-boyfriends, Taylor Allison Swift is currently the biggest news in the National Football League. Sports columns read not about the game, but rather the special guest in attendance. Fathers and daughters everywhere are having the biggest week of their lives.

For the past few weeks it has been speculated that Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce was romantically involved with Swift. On a podcast with his brother, Kelce commented that he had hoped to give Swift a friendship bracelet he made when he saw her on tour, but did not get the chance to meet her. Since then, sports media coverage has run wild with Swift references, one commentator stating that Kelce found a “blank space” in the end zone. The NFL TikTok bio currently reads: “9/24/23. Taylor was here.” We do not know if this Swift-Kelce romance is serious, or if it will go anywhere beyond a few casual dates, but that does not matter. The importance of this relationship lies not in its potential fruition, but in its public impact.

Suddenly, people have common ground. Sports lovers and Swifties have something to talk about. A record breaking number of teen girls are tuning in to Sunday football. Hundreds of Kansas City fans are looking up Taylor Swift lyrics for their posters. People are having fun, and it is uniting individuals that previously had no shared interests. Brothers and sisters are connecting like they never had before. The Instagram reels that dads are sending their daughters are out of control. Best of all Twitter, or X, is in its prime.

Swiftie lore has a million dimensions, so the jokes that people have come up with are not only hilarious but creative. @tisivy on X tweeted “finally someone with money and a JOB,” poking fun at the Swiftie bit

that Swift’s ex, actor Joe Alwyn, was poor. Another of these jokes, made by @evermoregcv, reads “it’s been YEARS since she dated someone with a car.” Accompanied by images of Swift and Kelce leaving the Chiefs game in his car, @ev3rhaze tweeted: “i just KNOW she’s gonna write a banger song about this exact moment in his car later,” a reference to Swift’s fan-favorite song “Getaway Car.” Additionally, Swift has not dated an American in nearly 10 years, so the internet has taken to joking about the nationality of her potential new man. @titosoatmilk on X tweeted that Swift’s rare American romance was “[Swifties’] fourth of july throw the tea in the harbor.”

TikToker Sally Darr Griffin, @sallydarr on X, tweeted: “Men who love football and hate on Taylor Swift are punching walls.”

Not only is the media buzz amusing for Swifties, but it is properly humbling all football-loving and Swift-hating men. All this to say, the online discourse has been deeply comical and generally wonderful.

sales after Swift’s appearance at the game on Sunday. According to USA Today, 24.3 million people watched the game on Sept. 24, by far the most-viewed of the weekend. Among those 24.3 million viewers, women made up much of the demographic. Compared to views from a year ago, there was an eight percent increase in female viewers ages 12 to 17. More than that, ESPN notes a 400 percent increase in Kelce jersey sales. I smell a trending couples costume for Halloween.

This past Sunday, Oct. 1, Taylor made another football appearance at the Jets vs. Chiefs game in New York City. This time, she brought with her an entourage of very famous friends, including Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds, Hugh Jackman, Sophie Turner, Sabrina Carpenter and more. Needless to say, the internet erupted in the same commotion as last Sunday. The excitement continues.

This publicity has not only been good for Swifties, Chiefs fans and chronically online people, but it has also done great things for the NFL. ESPN highlighted a surge in both viewership and merchandise

Over the summer, Taylor Swift lit up cities with her magnificent “Eras Tour.” She brought so much joy to her fans and the communities of the places that she toured, and Swifties everywhere mourned the day that the U.S. leg of the tour ended. But ever-generous Swift never rests, living another day to bring content to the realm of pop culture. An often private person, her public appearance at the Chiefs game has caused a national outbreak that only she could induce. In the digital age, there are few things as exciting as when the media electrifies in this way. She does it for us. Thank you Taylor! And Travis, you are cute too. Whether or not this is a publicity stunt, in the words of The Wall Street Journal: “Does it really matter?” A universal source of joy has been gifted to the masses, and we would do well to enjoy this exciting pop-culture moment for what it is.

Get your popcorn: Why this NFL season is must-see TV

Henry France Guest Columnist

Approaching Week Four of the NFL, I outlined an article explaining “Why the Miami Dolphins are posed to go undefeated for the second time in NFL history,” but after a poor outing against the Buffalo Bills, one thing is becoming clear this season: We are primed to witness some Oscar-worthy entertainment this year for a few big reasons. Primarily, there is a great mix of talent across all of the divisions in the NFL, paving the way for a competitive final few weeks of the season. But, rewinding to now, we are seeing how any matchup could go either way. In Week Three, the Arizona Cardinals bested the formidable Dallas Cowboys, and this week the poorly rated Washington Commanders took last year’s Super Bowl runner-up, the Philadelphia Eagles, to overtime in a high scoring affair.

Last year, NFL fans popularized the conspiracy theory that the NFL is “scripted,” claiming, semi-ironically, that the league pre-determines outcomes and events. This offseason, the NFL poked fun at the viral trend, releasing ads that showed players sitting at a table read for this year’s season as if they were actors in a movie. With the first quarter of the season that saw Aaron Rodgers go out for the year on his first drive, allpro tight end Travis Kelce score off the field with Taylor Swift and teams pushing scoring records (only to lose in the week after?), we can be sure that the remaining 14 weeks are bound to be electric.

The Miami Dolphins were humbled after

dismantling the Denver Broncos last week, getting lit up by the Buffalo Bills’ offense that looks ready to try for the Lombardi Trophy this year. Miami’s red hot offense was suffocated as the Bills proved how unstoppable they can be when at their best on both sides of the ball. It is safe to say that the Bills belong in the top tier of teams, along with the Dallas Cowboys, San Francisco 49ers and Philadelphia Eagles.

The Cowboys bounced back this week in a 38-3 win over the New England Patriots, who are now 1-3 and at the bottom of the NFC East. Dallas proved that last week’s embarrassing loss to the Cardinals was nothing more than a slip up in their campaign for a championship.

The San Francisco 49ers took care of business with a 35-16 win over the Arizona Cardinals. San Francisco and the Philadelphia Eagles are now the only two remaining undefeated teams. The Niners are the first team since the 2013 Denver Broncos to post 30 or more points in seven straight games, dating back to last season, and show no signs of slowing down. Their offense is dialed in and running back Christian McCaffery looks fantastic.

The Washington Commanders came out with heat against the Philadelphia Eagles after a 34-point loss against the Buffalo Bills last week, but could not repeat their upset of the Eagles on primetime from last season. Although the Commanders led by a touchdown going into halftime, the Eagles came out strong and forced overtime to score the deciding field goal.

At Soldier Field, the Chicago Bears

opened up against the Denver Broncos looking like a whole new team with the win in hand, leading 28-7 after quarterback Justin Fields tallied his fourth touchdown of the game prior to the end of the fourth quarter. Then, the Bears reverted to their true form, giving up 17 points in the fourth quarter to remain winless. For Chicago fans, this week might have been especially painful, but they can find solace in one thing: When the Bears are locked in, they are not half bad. Justin Fields had his first career 300-yard game and did so looking great. Hopefully the Bears can keep some of their momentum as their current losing streak stands at 14 and dates back to last season. It is also tied for longest in the team’s over 100 year history. On the bright side, the Denver Broncos finally got a win. They will have to keep it going next week against a New York Jets team that just gave the Chiefs a run for their money.

At Metlife, Travis Kelce’s Kansas City Chiefs almost had their own “Eras Tour” spoiled, avoiding an embarrassing collapse to the suffering New York Jets, with Taylor Swift in attendance. The Chiefs rushed out to a 17-0 lead but then lost their rhythm and got swallowed up by that robust Jets defense, throwing two interceptions and giving up a safety. All of a sudden the Jets and Chiefs were tied. For the first time in either his college or professional career, Patrick Mahomes was outperformed by his opposing quarterback—Mahomes had more interceptions and fewer completions, passing yards and touchdown passes on Sunday night than—wait for it…Zach Wilson. The

Jets and their quarterback had bad blood coming into this week, with many demanding that the Jets revoke Wilson of his starting duties. Despite getting off to a slow start, Wilson found his mojo, connecting with his offense and tying the game up as both teams headed into the fourth quarter. Unfortunately, New York fell apart, allowing Kansas City to kick a field goal to give the Chiefs their second consecutive victory in their love story era.

NFL fans should be eager for this upcoming week of football. Starting off on Thursday night, expect the Chicago Bears to pull off an upset against the Washington Commanders. This Bears team showed upside and they are more than ready to get in the win column. As Sunday rolls around, the Detroit Lions should put on a show against the winless Carolina Panthers in a clear assertion of their talent. The Cincinnati Bengals will face a pivotal matchup against the Arizona Cardinals in a duel that will either provide them with either tide-changing momentum or determine that Cincinnati has for sure fallen off. Finally, on Sunday night, the Dallas Cowboys will go head to head with the also undefeated San Francisco 49ers. This should be the matchup of the week as these two dominating teams look to extend their win streak. Who will leap to 5-0? Are the Jets and Bears potentially capable after surprising performances? How will the Dolphins bounce back after a tough loss? And when will Travis Kelce have a diamond-selling pop album come out about him? These questions and more will become clear next weekend.

Not only is the media buzz amusing for Swifties, but it is properly humbling all footballloving and Swift-hating men.

IM Volleyball serves up excitement at Kenyon

It is a Thursday night after a long week, and dozens of students have made the trek in the rain to Kenyon Hall for Intramural (IM) Volleyball. With high ceilings and a superb soundtrack, one feels the spirit of the games as soon as they walk into the gym.

With 18 teams spread out over two divisions, IM Volleyball is no casual meet-up. The regular season spans from Sept. 12 to Oct. 31, and games occur every Tuesday from 8:30 to 10:30 p.m. and Thursday from 8 to 10 p.m. Teams play to the best of three games, with the first two going to 25 points and third going to 15. Six players can be on the court for each team at once, but team rosters range from six to 12 players with just one member of varsity volleyball allowed. Teams form in unique ways, and many last over multiple seasons. Garrett Schmid ’25, one of the original members of “besteambesteambesteam” explains that “Over the past couple of years the team has grown from only four people showing up to a game to having 12 or more members. Other intramural sports or schools emphasize the competition and weed out those who are

not already athletes. Vassar’s IM volleyball has been the rare opportunity that allows friends who are unfamiliar to the sport to be welcomed and supported while still being able to compete. My volleyball IM team was how I first bonded with some of my closest friends here and has been an outlet that has consistently brought some amazing people into my life!” Perhaps limiting my journalistic integrity, I became partial to “besteambesteambesteam” with their contagious enthusiasm and exciting style of play. In an extremely tight three set match against another previously undefeated team, Schmid and his team got a step closer to a fourth consecutive championship.

There is room for everyone at IM Volleyball, regardless of whether their goal is to win or just to have fun and spend time together. Alejandra Robins ’24, a member of Vassar’s swim team and captain of her team “Fish Out of Water 2.0,” says that her team is made up of all of the members of the swim team and one member of the volleyball team. “Somehow, even though we basically never win we are able to leave each game with hope to win the next one.” “Fish Out of Water 2.0” won their first game in a season and a half last week in a thrilling match against the “Vassar College Weinbergs.”

Some teams provide opportunities for varsity teams to bond outside of their sport. “Fish Out of Water 2.0” and the “Obedient Oarsmen” are each primarily made up of members of the swim and crew teams, respectively, and can be important for team culture. Robins says part of why she loves IM Volleyball is because, “For us it is something to do outside swim that we can bond over and a way for us to make fun memories that are not swim related.” Henry France ’26, a member of Vassar’s crew team, says “IM games provide a couple hours a week where we all forget about the stress of academics or athletics and can just have a really great time competing against and with our friends.”

IMs also provide opportunities for students who played volleyball in high school or just love the sport, but do not feel like they have the time or skills for the varsity team. One example is Ishika Muppidi ’25, who has been playing IM Volleyball at Vassar since she was a freshman and played in high school. She says, “I really like IM Volleyball because it’s a place where I can still play volleyball, a sport that I love, with my friends and just have a good time. The community overall is really great and supportive and welcoming as well.”

On the Kenyon courts, the “eclectic” collective of Vassar, as Schmid says, come together. Maxwell Sivers-Boyce ’25, captain of “besteambesteambesteam” says, “I have some friends who go to big state schools, and at those places they have so many people doing intramurals that they sort it out into divisions based on competitiveness, but here we don’t have enough people to do that so you get a funny range of like a group of people who have no idea what they’re doing and just wanted to have some fun playing to assholes like my team which has three people who have played volleyball competitively and then a bunch of other generally athletic people.”

The seemingly most prominent feature of these match-ups were the care and love each team showed for each other. After each point, win or lose, players hugged, clapped and cheered for each other. They were always ready with a don’t worry and you got this next time after any serve sent into the net or ball flying out of bounds.

In the big gym, anyone can come together and feel like a part of this beautiful night of sports. Whether you join a team or take a seat in the stands, partaking in Vassar’s Intramural Volleyball is a must during your time here.

Sophie Mode Guest Columnist

Images courtesy of Abigail Straus ’24.

The Miscellany Crossword

By Sadie Keesbury

DOWN

DOWN

Answers to last week’s puzzles:

By Sadie

Category Match 1 Answer Key: By William Flachmeyer

Disney princesses: AURORA, RAYA, JASMINE, TIANA

Dating apps: BUMBLE, HINGE, MATCH, TINDER

National parks: SEQUOIA, ACADIA, GLACIER, YOSEMITE

Aromatic flowers: BERGAMOT, ROSE, GARDENIA, LAVENDER

Category Match 2 Answer Key: By Sadie Keesbury

Paper_____: AIRPLANE, PLATE, SHREDDER, TOWEL

Modes of transportation: TRAIN, CAR, SPACESHIP, SCOOTER

Wallet items: LICENSE, VCARD, CASH, CREDIT CARD

Wishing opportunities: COIN, CANDLE, SHOOTING STAR, 11:11

ACROSS

1. “_____ Land,” 2017 Best Picture... NOT!

5. Bring together

7. Official series of events

8. Sign in a roundabout

9. Common pizza possessive

1. “I Love _____,” sitcom starring Desi Arnaz

2. Mitchell who wrote “Hadestown”

3. First section of a form, maybe

4. Ring of reef

6. Finales

ACROSS

1. Light touch

4. Swole

6. “I _____ the fifth!”

7. Tiny skirts

8. Light touch

1. Dutch flower

2. Huge venue

3. Braid, for Brits

4. Tempo indicator, for short

5. American football field divisions (abbr.)

“Media, Media, Media!”

“Flip it and reverse it!”

“The Oven Just Beeped…”

Keesbury