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College’s student newspaper of record since 1866 September 22, 2022 Volume 158 | Issue 4
Students dance at arts festival
See VRDT on page 6
And finally, get some sleep. It feels waste ful to spend so much time in bed when there’s so much exciting stuff going on around you (FOMO is indeed a real thing), but trust me, the lack of sleep accumulates. I promise I’m not trying to sound like your parent here. I came in with the idea that I was going to stay up as late as I wanted to every night, but the ensuing eye bags, dry throat, headaches and caffeine addiction are just the tip of the ice berg. A lack of sleep makes you significantly less able to handle the insane amount of social and academic situations you’re experienc
Columnist Allen Hale greets the arrival of fall by reflecting on the music that captures the spirit of autumn.
Interrupting sleep, study and freetime, the Noyes House fire alarm drove residents out of their rooms yet again at 4:30 a.m on Satur day, Sept. 10, going off twice more at around 4:50 a.m. and 8 a.m. that same morning. For the past few weeks, the alarm has been activated around three times a day and of ten in the late hours of the night for reasons unknown to the residents. Mady Ockner ’25 said, “It's gone off around 15 times since the start of the year. It’s really impacted every one’s sense of security in their own home by creating a boy-who-cried-wolf situation.”
See Fire Alarms on page 4
ARTS
This does not mean that you must speak to everyone you meet in your first few weeks— that would be literally impossible and defi nitely overwhelming. But the easiest things to share about yourself are your name and where you come from. In fact, most conver sations in your first week look like this:
Me: I’m Ailynn! What’s yours?
Rule 2: Don’t be afraid to introduce yourself!
a glimpse of Vassar in


On the same thread, get a water bottle and fill it up every morning! Even if you hate the taste of water (yeah, I know you guys are out there), you will be thankful I told you this. Fill it with sparkling water if you want, even tea, but put something in there and drink it. Having fluids in your body helps with any problem, ranging from chronic stress to try ing not to contract that classic “first-semester plague.” HYDRATE!
Random person: Hey, what’s your name?
ing—especially in your first few weeks. Even if you need a couple of those revenge-bed time procrastination nights where you stay up until 3 a.m. watching random videos on YouTube or FaceTiming friends from home, make sure you mix in some restful nights, too. Your future self will thank you!
Whether you’re a first-year or trying to forget you ever were a first-year, this is the article for you. That version of you who wasn’t sure how to use a gender neutral bath room for the first time. The one who didn’t know if it was socially acceptable to go to the Deece alone. The one who kind of wished you had owned a “how to survive your first few weeks” guide on what to do so that you could make it out alive. That’s what I’m here for.
Inside this issue
ViCE summersharessongs
See ViCE on page 8 See Survive on page 7
Manager of Mechanical Services and Cen tral Heating in Facilities Operations Michael Logue reported the following via email cor respondence with The Miscellany News: “On Tuesday, [Sept.] 13th, a part failed in the alarm system in Noyes House.”
(siren and strobes) will not work properly until sometime tomorrow when a part for repair arrives,” she said in the email.
When walking around campus, it is hard not to notice the multitude of students listening to music. Whether it be wired earbuds or bulky headphones, it seems that almost everyone is plugged in and jam ming out to their own eccentric tunes. At the heart of Vassar’s music-loving popula tion is Vassar College Entertainment (ViCE), an organization devoted to all things music entertainment, renowned for its popular concerts. ViCE provides ways for students to dip their toes into many facets of the world of entertainment—from film to fashion to visual arts. With past concerts including artists such as Flo Milli and Princess Nokia, it is clear that when it comes to music, ViCE knows what’s up.
Clara Alger Guest Reporter
The twins, both VRDT members, be gan their choreographic process for this piece in Spring 2021 when they presented choreography with five dancers to the first minute and a half of the song, as part of the Dance Department showcase. The faculty feedback was encouraging, and included suggestions to play with the tempo and try different costumes. When talking about the inspiration for the dance, Camryn Spe ro said, “We were working with these ideas of a collective, how we interact with each other and authenticity versus superficial
Every Tuesday night, ViCE members gath er next to the ViCE office in Main Building to discuss the newest artist coming to cam pus, their favorite songs of the summer and what’s new and noteworthy in the music industry. Sure, the organization attracts a plethora of eager first-years, but there are also devoted members that make ViCE the collaborative organization that it is. For read ers who are wondering what the latest and greatest music is, look no further than to co-
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affected Noyes House. All other fire systems on campus remained fully operational.”
Contrary to this information, the Noyes alarms have continued to go off almost daily as of Sept. 19, sometimes sounding for up to 20 minutes. Logue explained that everytime an alarm is triggered, the fire department, in addition to Vassar personnel, must immedi ately respond to the scene. He emphasized
Noyes residents have received several emails concerning the faulty alarms, all of which failed to adequately address the cause of the issue but included instructions to evac uate every time the alarm sounds. “Yeah, it’s gone off probably 15 to 20 times. I only evac uated the first time,” said Claire Carter ’26.
Facilities Operations quickly engaged Firewatch, a trained group of employees who look out for emergencies such as a fire when systems are down, according to Logue. He added, “The new part was installed on Wednesday, [Sept.] 14th, returning the sys tem to full operation. The part failure only
Emma Raff Guest Reporter
How to survive your first few weeks at Vassar
On Aug. 13, atop a stage overlooking the scenic Hudson River, twins Camryn and Courtney Spero ’24 presented their cho reographed piece “Distance” as part of the Young Voices in Dance program at the 41st Annual Battery Dance Festival. According to Battery Dance, “The program highlights the intellectual curiosity, innovation, and artistic excellence of youth (ages 15-22) from across the country.” The Speros set their piece to “Blue Monday” by New Order and recruited 10 Vassar Repertory Dance Theatre (VRDT) members to perform.
Repeated fire alarms spark frustration
It's the sequel you've all been waiting for! Check out Humor Editor
And then you can pretty easily walk away and do the same thing with someone else. Some of those people will be in your classes, your hall or your pool of friends-of-friends; and down the road, it will be helpful that you made eye contact with them before—even if you don’t remember their name or where they’re from. The more people you introduce
Noyes House Advisor Bianca Keesler emailed the house residents Tuesday, Sept. 13 informing them that the system was un dergoing repairs. “The smoke and Carbon Monoxide detectors remain functioning properly however the notification systems
Jacques Abou-Rizk/The Miscellany News.
The Miscellany News

buildings.
Madi final ranking of room
very early hours with Sophia daywakingretrospectiveWood'sonupeveryat5:50a.m.8 FEATURES
Ailynn O’Neill Guest Columnist
Carina Cole Guest Columnist
Donat's
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11 HUMOR
So, here's my first rule for you: Go to the Deece three times a day or more. It’s one of the best things about Vassar! You can eat (sometimes) great, nourishing food (or just a humongous heaping of fries and chipotle mayo if that’s what you’re craving) literally whenever you want. This is insane. Take ad vantage of this. It’s fun to sit there and chat with friends, especially when you sit at one of

those obscenely long tables and get to know random people. But it’s also important to go alone! Go sit by yourself (with or without headphones in, your choice) at least once in your first few weeks. You may feel awkward, but it’s absolutely necessary that you remem ber you don’t need to always be surrounded by people. College is a constantly social place if you want it to be, and it’s necessary to re member to take time for yourself.
Rule 1: Eat and drink water. And sleep! These tips sound self-explanatory, and in a way, they are. But they’re also not—because the first thing you do when you get to college is forget you’re a human being. It’s so exhil arating and stressful, and suddenly, instead of remembering to have three meals a day, you’re way more concerned with molding the perfect friend group and trying to remember to text your mom from time to time.
Me: I’m from New York City! What about you?Your New Friend: I’m from Some Place You Literally Already Forgot.
Random person: I’m Your New Friend. Where are you from?
The Miscellany News is not responsible for the views presented within its Opinions pages. Staff editorials are the only articles that reflect the opinion of a two-thirds majority of the Editorial Board. CORRECTION POLICY The Miscellany News will only accept corrections for any misquotes, misrepresentations or factual errors for an article within the semester it is printed. COPYREPORTERS,DESIGNWEBMASTERSVIDEOGRAPHICGRAPHICSASSISTANTCOPYDESIGNSOCIALSPORTSASSISTANTHUMORASSISTANTOPINIONSFEATURESARTSNEWSCONTRIBUTINGSENIORMANAGINGEDITOR-IN-CHIEFEDITOREDITOREDITORSEDITORSEDITOREDITOREDITOROPINIONSEDITOREDITORHUMOREDITOREDITORMEDIAEDITOREDITOREDITORSCOPYEDITOREDITORARTISTSPRODUCTIONMANAGERSTAFFCOLUMNISTSSTAFF Leila Raines Nina Ajemian Monika CharlotteNicholasJacquesAnnabelleJanetSweeneySongWangAbou-RizkWillSorgeGaneshPillaiKaiSpeirsBenFikhmanSufanaNoorwezMadiDonatTillinghastDougCobbTracyCenMaryamBacchusJacquelineGillSashinkaPoorRobertsonKarenMogamiSeowanBackToriKimIanHerzRohanDuttaChloeGjokaRubyFunfrockCarlyD’AntonioArleneChenKatieGebbiaAllenHaleAnnaKozloskiGwenMaJyotsnaNaiduSamPatzDanielleReccoNaimaSainiAnnaTerryNickVillamilAnicaAcunaSimonGoldsmithGlennaGomezCarisLeeToriLubinBrynMarlingClaireMillerIsabellaReidMelissaRoybalHadleySparksEmmaSanFilippoMeeraShroffMiaSteinDannyWhite September 22, 2022Page 2
Image courtesy of Sandro Luis Lorenzo ’24.
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE THE MISCELLANY NEWS

As the Study Abroad Fair highlighted, each individual program is special, with its own requirements, living accommoda tions and opportunities. The Boston Uni versity (BU) Study Abroad Program sends around 300 students a year to London for a half-coursework, half-internship se mester. This system is meant to provide students with real work experiences that complement their respective academic in terests, whether they be economics, film or politics. “Currently, our Psychology, Health and Human Sciences [program] is very popular,” said BU representative Deb bie Miller. “Unfortunately, we have fewer internships than we’ve been able to place.”
Study Abroad Fair opens students to international opportunities

A consistent stream of students, wideeyed and enthusiastic, came through the Study Abroad Fair. The event was an over whelming success, reiterating the point that studying abroad is an invaluable as pect of the liberal arts education, especially at Vassar. More information about Vassar’s available programs can be found on the In ternational Programs website.
said.Other programs take on a specialized ap proach; the School for Field Studies (SFS),
for example, is focused on environmental science. As Davin Foxall, SFS representa tive, put it: “Through field-based learning and 10 different research centers around the world, [we offer] anything from study ing climate change in Patagonia to moun tain ecology and Buddhism in Bhutan.” The field-based learning setup pushes students to get their hands dirty and expe rience their research outside of the class room. “[SFS] educates the next generation of environmental leaders,” Foxall acknowl edged.The Sea Education Association (SEA) of fers an unconventional, distinctive study abroad experience: Half of the semester is spent on a sailboat. “Every program, even our shorter summer programs, have two components: shore and sea,” said represen tative Kayla Sheehan. The shore is where students conduct the majority of their ac ademic coursework, as well as learn how to sail. After designing an independent research project, students embark on the SEA ship. Sheehan continued, “You’re not just a student when you’re on the ship— you’re also a crew member and a scientist.” All students, regardless of their major, are expected to participate in the on-ship labs, while playing a critical role in getting their boat from point A to point B.
One of the greatest privileges of high er education is the chance to study abroad. Vassar students can choose from over 100 programs across the globe based on their academic needs and aspirations.
In the center of the Villard Room, among the fascinating study abroad programs, sat a couple of current exchange students, ea ger to speak about their experiences learn ing in a foreign country. Sachi Joo ’25, from Ochanomizu University in Tokyo, Japan, emphasized how studying abroad marries different ways of thinking. “It’s a really good change of environment,” she said.
Charlotte Robertson/The Miscellany
Or, as representative Sarah Shalash ex plained, Vassar students can stay at the American University in Cairo (AUC). Stu dents have access to all campus resources, like dorms, professors’ office hours, the cafeteria and the Olympic-sized pool at the on-campus gym. With liberal arts at its core, AUC is ideal for many majors—so long as the student has taken two years of Arabic at Vassar. “We’re fully U.S.-accredit ed—that’s the ‘American’ in our name—but 95 percent of our students are Egyptian, so as a study abroad option it’s kind of unique. You get to become an international student in our classes for a semester and sit sideby-side with your Egyptian peers,” Shalash
News.
Page 3NEWS MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE September 22, 2022
At the Study Abroad Fair last Friday, Sept. 16, representatives from several different Vassar-approved programs set up their color-coordinated brochures and infor mational flowcharts in the Villard Room, poised to answer student questions about studying away.
Charlotte Robertson Assistant Copy Editor

image courtesy of The Miscellany News.
fire!” said Carter. Another first-year, Jude Landesman, expressed disappointment after moving from Main to Noyes earlier this year: “Noyes has a bad rep, but when I got there I was like, ‘Oh no, this is pretty nice.’” He add ed,“The fire alarms [have] turned me off to Noyes because I’m afraid I won’t be able to get a good night's sleep.”
Page 4 NEWS MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE September 22, 2022 Continued from Fire Alarms on page 1
A few students feel that, considering the amount of money paid in tuition, these res idential facility issues are incredibly irritat ing. As Carter said, “I paid so much money to be here. Why am I getting woken up by a fire alarm at 4:30 in the morning? If I start to smell smoke, I will exit the building, but for now I will rest peacefully—well, actually, not peacefully. I will remain in my bed.”
VASSARAT19COVIDNoyes residents exhausted by incessant fire alarm failure
7 New—17—studentcases,asofWednesday,Sept.21,2022 New employee cases, as of cases,cases,CumulativeSept.Wednesday,21,202227employeebetweenAug.16,2022andSept.21,2022148CumulativestudentbetweenAug.16,2022andSept.21,2022
Jacques Abou-Rizk/The Miscellany News.
Many Noyes residents are both annoyed and angry over the situation. “I refuse to go out in the middle of Nircle at 4:30 in the morning and stand there with my peers at our most vulnerable to just watch the fire alarm go off. Because I know there’s not a

the importance of safety and further insisted that everyone should follow the necessary procedures: “The safety of all students is paramount and everyone should follow pro cedures as normal when the alarm sounds.”
Logue also stated, “This incident is not re flective of a long-term issue. All of our fire systems are monitored daily by our vendor and inspected yearly in accordance with New York State Fire Code.” However, Ockner insisted, “This has been going on for years.”
AllenColumnistHale
my life could not possibly get any better, Styles gave his final farewell to his fans be fore departing the stage. As I stood in the sea of people, alone but not really, I could not keep the smile off my face. My throat was sore, and my ears felt as though someone had shoved cotton balls in them, but I could not have been happier with what I had just witnessed. I exited Madison Square Garden knowing that something had changed in me, feeling beyond grateful that I had the opportunity to experience this.
to “see the sun when the day is done,” which will come to us on a “rainy day in autumn” to say “be what you’ll be.” The overarching mes sage across these two tracks insists on a need to confront the renewal of autumn, sonical ly backed by an elegant, naturalistic style of playing and singing that reminds one of the season’s physical sensations. Other standout tracks like “Harvest Breed” and “Pink Moon” further reinforce this autumnal atmosphere in both title and style, making the album an amazing project to listen to as you walk amongst falling leaves on your way to class.
onto the stage; after noticing this, Styles be gan to wave the flag around, all while sing ing a song that is ultimately about accepting people and being kind to them despite their differences. It sent a message to every queer person in the audience that no matter what the rest of the world thinks, they were safe in that moment and that place.
the Times,” blasted through the arena. The crowd cheered louder than they had all night. The cheering only crescendoed when the lights on the stage changed to pink and the opening chords to “Medicine” began to sound from the center of the venue. As soon as the crowd realized what was happening, we all began cheering (with no regard for the future of our vocal cords), celebrating the special moment we were about to expe rience.Two songs later, when I felt as though
After that song, Styles continued to use his innate ability to entertain an audience by feigning the end of the show, disappear ing from the stage while the lights shut off. This prompted the audience, myself includ ed, to begin cheering for an encore—specifi cally yelling for him to play the unreleased fan-favorite song “Medicine.” This song, despite only ever being heard live, has an immense following; fans always hope he’ll surprise them by playing the song at their show. A few minutes later, the band came back on stage, and Styles, for the second time that night, was lifted up from the floor as the intro to his first solo single, “Sign of
Over the past few years, Styles has made an effort to show support for the LGBTQ+ community, and these efforts continued during his concerts. During the perfor mance of “Treat People With Kindness,” someone in the audience threw a pride flag
While on the topic of the humanity be hind concerts, it seems relevant to mention one of my favorite moments of the show. When performing the song “Love of my Life,” Styles made the mistake of singing the lyrics to the first verse when he was on the second verse of the song. After singing the wrong line, he smiled, acknowledging his mistake and creating an intimate, per sonalized moment between himself and the audience. Not only was this a unique moment that the audience got to share, but it also served as a reminder to everyone that despite their perfect appearances in the spot light, celebrities are people too, and they make mistakes just like everyone else.
Sun Kil Moon’s “Ghosts of the Great High way” is a more personally-oriented choice for autumnal listening. I first heard the album during October of last year; its impassioned yet mellow sound immediately stuck with me, becoming the default soundtrack to my first Vassar fall. On the shuttle to Boston for October break, I distinctly remember passing through the mountains as the expansive song “Duk Koo Kim” played in my years-old wired earbuds. It was my first break after settling into a new life that would become my rou tine for the next four years, reaffirmed by the traditions of the season as I simultaneously moved forward into unknown waters; this transitory journey finds musical form with in the song’s various movements, shifting melodies and instrumental development. It opens with the core guitar melody before introducing drums and vocals. The melody then changes as the song shifts direction, altering the lead vocal line and drumming pattern before ultimately layering mando lins and glockenspiel to back the vocals. Afterwards the sound strips itself down, moving away from earlier distortion into a new acoustic guitar melody. This segment slowly builds itself up by introducing electric guitar and ghostly singing, finally bringing the song to its close while accented by cym bals rather than a standard drum beat. In structure alone, the song itself can be seen as a journey, and certainly it provides similar emotional purpose within personal listening context. Whether it is the powerful guitars of “Salvador Sanchez” or “Gentle Moon’s” more serene sound, the album’s overarching emo
Page 5September 22, 2022 ARTS MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
Kaitlyn Rezek Guest Columnist
Myterritory.recent musical exploration has led me to stumble across an album which has, so far, soundtracked the end of my summer and beginning of sophomore year. Hood’s “Cold House” sounds like the first cold day of autumn, with airy guitars and dry percus sion that blow like a breeze behind the tepid breath of the vocals. It anticipates the cold ness to come, with tracks like “The Winter Hit Hard” most directly contributing to this atmosphere in title and sound. Glitchy elec tronics and surrealist vocals are recurring ex perimentations that color Hood’s post-rock sound, with tracks like “You’re Worth the Whole World” and “Branches Bare” contrib uting to an eerie, brisk quality that recalls the transition into winter. Slowcore songs like “Enemy of Time” and “Lines Low to Frozen Ground” contrast as being more sparse and lonely in sound, eliciting the sound of wind blowing through empty trees on nights that grow longer and longer in length. As fall reaches its eventual close, I can guarantee this record will still be a go-to for myself, serving as the perfect background for au tumn flowing into winter.
Harry's House, the 'Medicine' New York City needs

Although difficult to characterize a specif ic emotion or ambiance, autumn’s distinct character still finds form in many types of music. Each album is unique in its own sound, yet all embody the season through their particular sounds and lyrical themes. As you explore music in the upcoming months, consider these records as part of your seasonal listening experience; you will surely find a new soundtrack among these treasures.
Image courtesy of Kaitlyn Rezek '26.
tional vulnerability speaks to the dual expe rience of bittersweet remembrance and emo tional adaptation, familiar to all who have passed through high school into contrasting life
By now, most people know the name Harry Styles. From his origin band One Direction (2010-2016) to his current solo career as both a musician and actor, Styles has made a name for himself that has left a lasting impact on a large number of people. For years, he has mastered the art of engag ing live audiences in a way few artists do, showing the average show-goer that they are worthy of a proper performance. Now, we are nearing the end of his current proj ect—a 15-night residency at one of the most famous arenas in the country: Madison Square Garden. I was fortunate enough to be able to attend the 12th show there, an ex perience that I will remember for the rest of myOnelife.of the best parts of seeing Styles live came during the breaks between songs, as he makes a show of interacting with the audience. People in the lower areas of the arena bring signs for him to read, and he en tertains some of the wishes written on those signs. During my show, he sang to a fan who was holding a sign advertising that it was their 21st birthday. This moment, as ev eryone in the arena sang “Happy Birthday” to a stranger that we would likely never see again, showed the real beauty behind Styles’ performances: the community that formed amongst the fanbase.
A survey of autumnal albums would not be complete without a folk record that elicits the pastoral mood of the season. This quality is embodied deeply by Nick Drake’s master piece “Pink Moon.” The project was Drake’s final work, recorded in a period marked by depression that ultimately ended in antide pressant overdose (whether this can be at tributed to suicide or not has been disputed, per All Music). Drake sings with a subdued unease, the album consisting of quiet folk songs that limit instrumentation to guitar and brief piano on the title track. This sim plicity brings out his unique voice as the project’s defining feature, imparting a mix of serenity and melancholy upon the listener. “Place to Be” reflects on aging weakness and sorting out one’s life, pertinent to a time of year in which we all must remake ourselves through choices that impact our future well being. The third verse of “Things Behind the Sun” mentions learning to fly and being able
Autumn evokes auras of both decay and renewal often found within music. I associate the season with the new beginnings of a new school year as I simultaneously leave behind the summer. Each autumn of my life has reinforced the homely traditions and at mospheres I enjoyed with loved ones in years past: newfound coolness in the air, apple picking, Sunday football games, stunning fo liage and more. The core tension of summer’s end juxtaposed with both the nostalgic com forts and uncertain beginnings of fall has im printed this season on my memory as a pro foundly sentimental time of remembrance and melancholy. With autumn setting in, I thought it would be the perfect moment to highlight my favorite albums to accompany the season and all of its complexities.
An album that more explicitly links itself to autumn is Carissa Wierd’s “Songs About Leaving.” Drawing on mixed influences from indie rock, chamber pop and slowcore, the album is lush yet bittersweet, with in ward-looking lyrics that the heart-tugging strings and piano only emphasize. Chamber pop’s particular influence reminds me of my own experiences with music at Vassar, as fall tends to be a busy season for performances, auditions and immersion in the sounds of classical instruments. “September Come Take This Heart Away” and “A New Holiday (November 16th)” most clearly make men tion of autumn, with Nov. 16 referenced again in the lyrics to “Ignorant Piece of Shit” as being the narrator’s engagement day. This new beginning coincides with the depressing warning of “They’ll Only Miss You When You Leave,” which laments the closing storm that approaches “when it’s time to leave,” re ferring to an uncertain beginning the narra tor must confront as they leave behind part of their past. The beauty of the chamber instrumentation used for such melanchol ic purposes embodies exactly what autumn means to me as a phase of both comfort and apprehension, with the lyrics speaking to the broader experiences of continuation and loss
often encountered at this point of the year. Despite being less emotionally discernable than winter or summer, autumn’s funda mental spirit is remarkably captured in all aspects of “Songs About Leaving.”
Four albums for the perfect autumn listening experience
Vassar students perform at annual Battery Dance Festival
Learning from that early performance and the faculty feedback, the Speros con tinued to work over the summer. However,
One of the VRDT dancers in the piece, Abby Rice ’25, noted, “It was the first student piece I was in in VRDT, so it was cool to see students creating such incredible choreog raphy.” She added, “Getting to do their style is really fun because it’s unlike anything I’ve everRicedone.”recalled that the day of the perfor mance “couldn’t have been more perfect,” with “blue skies” and “the statue of liberty in the background.” In addition to the beauti ful setting, Courtney Spero said, “I feel like the energy was just very positive and not panicked.”Camryn Spero reflected on the communi ty aspect of the experience, expressing, “Ev eryone seemed so happy to be there, not only for the opportunity to dance and to dance this piece again, but just to see each other.” The piece included four recent graduates, so it was a chance for them to perform one last time with their VRDT family. The cast had spent many intimate Saturday rehearsals in Kenyon leading up to the Fall performance, so performing at Battery was a wonderful opportunity. Courtney Spero commented, “It’s just refreshing to dance with these peo ple outside of the Vassar studios.” She added, “The willingness of all 10 of them to spend part of their summers relearning this piece that they auditioned for almost a year ago—it was very touching to have that experience.”
the festival, and leading up to the show the Speros held two four-hour rehearsal days at Vassar with some dancers on Zoom. In re working the piece for 10 dancers, the Speros changed some of the original choreography. Camryn Spero described, “It was exciting creating a new partnering section that was more dynamic and organic.”
Faiyaz thinks out loud in “Wasteland,” emitting a stream of consciousness that un veils his innermost thoughts and ideas, for better or for worse. We get to see the full pic ture of an artist whose smooth demeanor and lyrics may invoke a feeling of infallibility. The song proves Brent to be quite the contrary, though: he takes us through his past mistakes and regrets, as well as the reasons behind his faulty decisions. However, we also see some one who is growing and learning, someone not to look up to as a flawless celebrity, but rather as a person like you and me, also trying to find their way in life.
Arts Editor
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Continued from VRDT
And so, I wanted an album with the grit and determination to get amped for a brand new semester with the promise of countless new, fun and formative experiences—rapper Black Thought and producer Danger Mouse obliged, with their collaborative album “Cheat Codes.” The former being integral to one of the most prolific and innovative rap groups ever, The Roots, any Black Thought-involved project comes guaranteed with lyricism of the highest quality. On the personal “Saltwa ter,” the rapper spits, reflectively, “You so cli ché, the nouveau riche / That come up hard as a youth and knew no peace / You hit that lick and switched to a new motif / In a whip with two low seats and new gold teeth,” de tailing his come-up from nothing. On the similarly hustle-oriented “Strangers,” Black Thought, along with an excellent guest verse from A$ap Rocky, embraces the effort he needed to put in to get where he is today. Dan ger Mouse supplies the absurdly hard-hitting, grimy beats to songs such as these. However, like I said, August is also about reminiscing on the past three months, with the more dreamy-nostalgic sounds of “Sometimes” or “Because,” providing ample material for fond trips down memory lane, too.
VRDT student choreography in Nov. 2021. “The audience reception was quite positive,” Camryn recalled. She added, “We did what came naturally, and because of that organ icness and love we had for that product, we were inspired to submit it.” So, in Spring 2022, the Speros submitted a video of the piece to Battery Dance and were notified of their selection in June. 10 of the original 12 dancers were able to perform the piece at
ity.” She continued, remarking, “How [the dancers] interacted with each other physi cally was the basis and from there we were able to add the movement.” She added, “The entire piece was very much driven visually by pathways, formations and transitions.”
On Thursday, June 16 at about 6 p.m., Drake revealed on Twitter that he would be re leasing a new album that same night, a stark difference to his recent discography addi tions. No album rollout, no singles, no leaks circulating—nothing to shed light on what exactly was to come. And so, when Drake released “Honestly Nevermind,” a house al bum, at midnight, people were surprised (to put it kindly), and outright disappointed (more accurately). I myself initially fell into the latter group. I was projecting my hopes for a new, classic release onto this album, rather than enjoying it for what it was. To me and other doubters alike, Drake had the message: “It’s all good if you don’t get it.”
August is a month of myriad emotions: sadness at the incoming conclusion of the season; nostalgia for the positive experiences shared with others; excitement for what is to come. I consider myself extremely lucky to attend a school that I can always look forward to returning to. And while I can claim to have held all of these varied sentiments through out the entirety of the season, August was overwhelmingly about accepting and prepar ing. Summer, more so than any other season, carries a finiteness that cannot be avoided, even as far back in our minds as we keep this creeping thought. It’s what makes each one special—the fact that we have no choice but to
Summer is a season synonymous with song. And with its official conclusion, and fall in full swing, it prompted reflection on my part on what this previous summer had meant to me, and the musical associ ations I had formed during it. This time of year is traditionally a period of spontaneous adventures and uncertain plans, but with guaranteed music to soundtrack the experi ences. With this freedom comes the ability to make lifelong associations with these tunes. As much as we appreciate the ease of living in the moment, our summers are largely about cementing relationships with music. And as someone who did a lot of listening over the summer—on trains, cars, elevators, etc.—I wanted to share some of the albums that shaped this season, and possibly ones that provided soundtracks for other people, too, or maybe the summers to come.
July: “Wasteland” by Brent Faiyaz
September 22, 2022Page 6 ARTS MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
track played best in the presence of loved ones, appreciating all of our great friends and fami ly. On the introspective “Dead Man Walking,” Faiyaz details what a typical summer night may entail for him. While on the surface this means a night out in Vegas, he encourages all of us, singing: “You can do what you wanna / Live how you wanna / Spend what you wanna / Be who you wanna be.” What better attitude than being unapologetically you?
Ganesh Pillai
What I will say with more certainty is that a genuinely open-minded approach will lead to a far more positive experience. Comparing projects and projecting expectations consis tently detract from our enjoyment of albums that have real quality in them, instead pa pering over them with generalities like “this is their worst album” or “their other projects were so much better.” For this album specifi cally, sure, it wasn’t Drizzy rapping hard-hit ting verses over trap beats. Rather, it was far more bare, stripped back and atmospheric. It almost feels like “Honestly, Nevermind” was made to provide a backing soundtrack for oth er experiences. Its somber, nocturnal notes on songs such as “Flights Booked” or “A Keep er” cry out for late night car rides or evening strolls. “Texts Go Green” is the sad, crooning music that Drake seems to have mastered, but now with a bouncier kind of beat—one that is perfect for dancing or winding down to after a long day. If “Honestly, Nevermind” is truly doomed to be passive music, then it does so with the best intentions—namely by serving as the perfect soundtrack for those long sum mer nights. Oh, and Drake also threw in the silky-smooth “Jimmy Cooks” with 21 Savage as the concluding track to remind us all that he can still spit with the best of them.
live for each moment, the forces of staleness and boredom never able to catch up to the joy felt in every experience.
By this point in the season, one’s routine, or lack thereof, has usually been solidified. We feel less like a sea of possibility and more like a river with a defined path. Or, perhaps, like a rolling stone—coincidentally also the name of one of the very best tracks on R&B star Brent Faiyaz’ latest release, “Wasteland.” The epitome of cool, Faiyaz calmly declares, “I’m a rolling stone / I’m too wild for you to own,” the perfect sentiment for a spontaneous ad venture. “Gravity” is a beautifully warm, cozy
Being ready for anything new entails pro cessing what came before, and to have music provide the bookend for one of my favorite summers is something I am very grateful to have. To me, songs have always been ways of preserving moments in time, encapsulating the emotions that come with them—and for a summer filled with so many meaningful memories, these albums provided the perfect soundtrack for the season.
June: “Honestly Nevermind” by Drake
Three albums that helped me reminisce on summer
I’m not here to attempt to objectively de termine whether this album is “good” or not.
The Speros premiered the full piece as
Image courtesy of Phil Mahabeer, Battery Dance Festival.

August: “Cheat Codes” by Danger Mouse and Black Thought
Courtney Spero noted that once they re turned to Vassar they “scrapped” a lot of the choreography, admitting, “We thought we could up the ante and do something a little bit more unique, a little bit more genuine and authentic to what we wanted the piece to be.” She continued, “The one thing that stayed pretty consistent from summer to fall was formations and pathways.”
Nevertheless, Selin’s love for Ivan is the electrical current that pervades the entire story; while not always explicitly mentioned, we as readers can feel her longing for him—he is the thought behind every action she takes, the memory in every song she hears and the fantasy in every moment of stillness she ex periences.Although
Take advantage of what’s in front of you. Learn what you really love and discover what you want out of your life. Be open to telling people your name. Don’t be afraid to remind them of it again, even if they don’t ask and instead give you a really long awkward look when you say hi to them. And remember to take care of your basic needs; everything's better when you’re not blowing your nose ev ery five seconds, I promise.
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE Page 7FEATURESSeptember 22, 2022
Image courtesy of Penguin Press.
Selinwas.”isnot merely seeking answers or a better way to live; she is searching for agen cy. She has searched for herself in many dif ferent ways: through novels, through travel, through Ivan, through sexual encounters with various kinds of men, through conver sations with Svetlana, through her relation ship with her mother, through her culture as a Turkish-American woman. After all of this searching, Selin finds her identity by exerting agency over her own life and ambitions.
relationship with a person. I believe this is due to our increasingly materialistic world, in which we find more value in objects than we do in people, thus enabling us to conflate human bodies with objects for our affection and attention rather than as genuine human beings for whom we might feel deeply, feel ings that stem from a love for their entire per sonhood.Selinquestions this throughout “Either/ Or,” reflecting on her love for Ivan. Now, Ivan has graduated and moved to California, and the truth remains that he and Selin never shared any physical intimacy. I found this as pect of their relationship to be mesmerizing— the kind of all-encompassing, nearly painful, obsessive love that Selin has for Ivan mirrors the feelings of someone involved in a sexual or romantic relationship. However, Selin and Ivan’s connection lacks this entirely. They have not once kissed—instead, their rela tionship resembles an emotionally intense friendship, one based on shared culture, an ability to converse in meaningful ways and mutual intellectual admiration.
Elif Batuman delves into philosophy and love in novel 'Either/Or'
I get that not every orientation or first-year “welcoming” event sounds super interesting or fun. Your Student Fellow may not be the kind of person you admire. You could be homesick, bored or having trouble align ing what you expected out of college with the reality of being here. That’s all perfectly normal. But, a lot of what is offered to you in your first few weeks of college is there for a reason.Takeit from me—it’s really tough to start this process alone. You’re without your par ents, your home friends, your pets—it all
Parting Thoughts
“Either/Or” is a novel about love, philoso phy, literature and choice. More so, it is a nov el about a young woman who decides that she has spent enough time observing the world as a spectator and takes action to change her own life.

Selin, as a sophomore in college, maintains a sense of ignorance and bewilderment for the world around her, a character trait I found refreshing while reading Batuman’s first nov el, “The Idiot.” However, her freshman year experiences have solidified her identity and shaped her into a more ambitious, coura geous character in this sequel. In the face of overwhelming self-awareness, Selin is able to go after what she wants; she goes on Zoloft to reduce a period of Ivan-centered depression, loses her virginity and decides to embark on a journey to Turkey the following summer, during which she has multiple affairs with kind, but rather uninteresting, men.
counterintuitive, but in my experience, col lege life actually includes much more free time than high school life. You have a lot of pockets in the day where there’s not much going on, and it’s up to you to fill that time by studying, socializing, chilling on your phone, pursuing an extracurricular or going to one of these events. Give yourself activities! You will feel better knowing that you have things scheduled, and if nothing else, they can turn into a quirky story to tell your friends.
Despite concentrating on topics that could be perceived as pretentious, such as Kierke gaardian philosophy and literary analyses of classic texts, Batuman’s writing is deeply funny, strikingly delicate and unpretentious.
I know for myself that in high school, it was really uncool to actually take part in any school activities or optional events. In col lege, that doesn’t have to be the case. Work shops, clubs, office hours and anything in between can provide you with both structure and the possibility of connections with cool people who may become good friends or con tacts!
Initially, Selin’s goal in questioning love and exploring the Kierkegaard-inspired aes thetic/ethical dilemma perplexed me. What was it that she was searching for? How did these brain-churning philosophical discus sions correspond with her passion for liter ature and storytelling? The answer to this became clear to me near the end of the nov el—the point at which it also becomes clear to Selin.Selin decides to fly to Russia because she loves Russian literature. She says, “In the past, I had been in one country or another because of other people: my parents, Svetla na, Ivan Sean. But I was in Russia because I had looked at the literatures of the world and made a choice. Nobody had especially wanted me to come—indeed, the customs officer who stamped my passport had left a distinct im pression of wishing me to be elsewhere—yet here I
builds up and can be very scary and stressful. And yes, your roommates, hallmates and StuFel may feel like strangers at first, but the important part is that they’re there when you need someone to listen to you or remind you that other people are just as new to this as you
“Either/Or” follows our beloved protag onist from “The Idiot,” Selin Karadağ—an introspective, Turkish-American English major—through her sophomore year at Har vard University. This novel had an immense impact on me, perhaps due to the fact that I read it the summer before my own sopho moreSelinyear.returns to Harvard after a summer spent teaching English in a Hungarian vil lage, growing closer to her good friend Svet lana and pining after Ivan, the man she is in love with, whom she now sometimes cor responds with via email. Selin spends her sophomore year preoccupied not only with Ivan, but also with Soren Kierkegaard’s phil osophical text “Either/Or” (after which Ba tuman’s sequel is named). She is fascinated by his classification of life as either aesthetic or ethical—an aesthetic life being one based on principles of spontaneity and the search for experiences of individual pleasure and beauty, and an ethical life being one centered around societal regulations and living with end goals in mind.
covered even close to everything, but keeping these things in mind helped me during my first few weeks here at Vassar. Being in col lege can be intimidating, but it can also be incredibly freeing and rewarding.
It is rare to find a sequel to a critically ac claimed, beautifully written first novel that is of equal exceptionality. It is even rar er to find a sequel that takes the best quali ties of its predecessor and elevates them to a new level. I was overjoyed when I found this was the case while reading “Either/Or” by Elif Batuman over the summer, the se quel to her first novel “The Idiot,” which I reviewed last spring.
love is Selin’s overwhelming fixation in “Either/Or,” it is certainly not the only issue which Batuman chooses to ex plore. Batuman also provides the space for readers to understand the importance of Se lin’s relationship with her mother. Selin sees herself as a reflection of her mother, as many daughters, myself included, often do. While the two are spending a weekend in New York, Selin, overwhelmed by depression, makes the decision to try antidepressants. At first she feels guilty for the cost, but her mother instantly pushes that worry aside. As much as Selin needs love from her mother, her mother also needs love from her: “Some times, she said, she slept in my bed for once or two nights, because the bed still smelled like me. She smiled conspiratorially, and I felt my heart
This is a starting point—I definitely haven’t
At another point, when reading Pushkin’s “Eugene Onegin,” Selin narrates her thoughts on the heroine Tatiana, who expresses her love for Onegin without fear of retribution or humiliation. Selin admires that Tatiana does not submit to love as a game, but rather writes to her lover an earnest confession of her feel ings. This way of navigating love defines it as an honest emotion deserving of verbalization rather than a supernatural force that deems a person weak if properly expressed.
This comes as an impressive feat and makes the experience of reading “Either/Or” that much more enjoyable.
Anna Terry Staff Writer
Selin’s view of love as a commonplace feel ing as opposed to an imposing force made me consider what love has become in our contemporary society and how her interpre tations of love contradict today’s norm. In my opinion, love held a more crucial role in romantic attraction in the past than it does today. Now, these attractions are defined as crushes or finding someone “hot” or “cute.” In our world, love is a force that we only feel comfortable engaging with once we have spent a certain amount of time in a defined
"Take advantage of what’s in front of you. Learn what you really love and discover what you want out of your life."
Continued from Survive on page 1
If “The Idiot” is a story about ignorance and the exploration of personhood, “Either/Or” is a story primarily about love—who deserves it, how we reckon with having it and why people fear it. By reading Kierkegaard and question ing how she should live, Selin lands on love as the central aspect of life. Throughout the novel, she raises the idea of colleges having a department of love. In a world that seems to view love as a shortcoming, Selin accepts it as a necessary feeling and something that de serves to be studied. At one point she writes, “I thought of my own mother who adored me, and had also fallen in love with a man who had eventually married someone else. Why did that happen to people? Was anyone even studying this stuff? Was anyone doing anything to fix it?”
In the opening section of Batuman’s “Ei ther/Or,” Selin ruminates on the notion of an aesthetic versus ethical life and how these classifications correspond to her and Svetla na. She explains that while she enjoys spend ing time with less dependable people who could provide her with interesting experienc es, “Svetlana liked to surround herself with dependable boring people who corroborated her in her way of being.” Svetlana tends to take university courses that cover the basics before moving onto more advanced work, while Selin takes a different path: “I had a terror of being bored, so I preferred to take highly specific classes with interesting titles, even though I hadn’t taken the prerequisites and had no idea what was going on.”
are.Orientation events and community circles may seem corny with their seemingly point less icebreakers, but they can also serve the purpose of just keeping you busy! It seems
Most of all, forgive yourself for being a first-year! Forgive yourself even as an upper classman for not knowing everything. We’re still young and figuring it out. The best we can do is make college our personal happy place, and the first few weeks are a wonder ful time to figure out what that means to you.
Rule 3: Take advantage of what is given to you.
Becauseconstrict.”Batuman reveals a greater view of Selin’s symbiotic relationship with her moth er, our understanding of what love means to her expands. Selin is not solely fixated on ro mantic attraction and how that love (or lack of love) defines her, but builds her identity on familial relationships as well.
How to survive your first few weeks at Vassar
yourself to, the more connected you will feel to the Vassar community. Don’t worry if the people you have these little conversations with don’t become your besties. They don’t have to! It’s still nice to have friendly faces you recognize around campus.
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
Last fall, I lived in Jewett in suite 436. Ev ery morning, I would wake up at 5:45 a.m. and make my way to the AFC, ensuring that I was quiet as I left my roommates still sleep ing. The bright lights of the dorm building hallways greeted me and forced my eyes to open wide to acknowledge how early it was. For those who live in Jewett, you know that the main door slams rather loudly; with this in mind, I would guide the Jewett door slow ly to a close, hoping to not wake the other members of the building with a loud slam. I remember looking up at the big building as I left, acknowledging the four or five lights that were on in rooms facing inwards already, and venturing towards the darkness that lay ahead of me. Making my way across the quad, sometimes I would run into the occa sional student or facilities worker, but most of the time, it was just the deer.
This year, I live in the TAs, and my morn ings, although very similar, are a bit different. There isn’t as far to walk to get to the AFC, and the deer are less prevalent. There are far too many porch lights on for deer to be comfort able hanging around the TAs. With the short er walk, I find myself enjoying waking up ear ly less and less, as there is no longer enough time to collect my thoughts and reflect before the day begins. Nevertheless, I still get to the AFC at 6 a.m. and get to the Deece at 7 a.m., in time to greet the workers and the three oth er students who arrive for its opening.
Continued
been one of Epstein’s favorite aspects of his involvement in ViCE this year. “Seeing the huge number of people excited about, and involved in, the club this year has been su per rewarding,” he noted. “There’s a lot of work Dora and I do as co-chairs, but none of it would really work and be able to expand without the participation of everyone in the club.”Levite
Image courtesy of Sophia Wood ’23.
Main Character Energy. You get to watch the workers unlock the doors and work hard, getting ready for another day of eager and hungry students. There is always a woman who is cleaning the floors on a Zamboni-like machine and a smiling worker at the front to greet you as you scan your ID. Going further into the Deece, you find workers laughing with each other before their days begin and talking about their plans for the upcoming weekend. The only other noises are those of the pipes and grills as the french toast, eggs and bacon cook in preparation for the wave that hits the Deece come 8:30 a.m.. You can feel the calm energy of everyone and the ex citement for the new day begin.
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Levite mused that perhaps the only thing better than unexpected instrumental move ments are good walking songs, like her song of the summer, “Hollaback Bitch” by Mura Masa (feat. Shy Girl & Channel Tres). And of course, ViCE is the perfect opportunity for Levite to bond with others over her eclectic music taste, as she expressed, “I cannot wait to create something together that the campus will hopefully love and cherish.”
Early morning Vassar: Senior explores campus bright and early

Walking to the Deece at 7 a.m. has now be come my equivalent of walking from Jewett to the AFC. Although it is lighter out, it still gives off a similar feeling. Wandering around campus while the majority of students are still asleep can make you feel like you’re the only one to exist at Vassar. There’s something incredibly freeing about it. The air somehow feels clearer, and the sound of the birds evokes something incredibly positive in your spirit. It feels like a movie where you’re the main char acter and the only person running around in the world of the Vassar Bubble.
The sense of community is a common fa vorite aspect of the club, including for trea surer Autumn Cullinan ’25. “I love going to the meetings every week and just being in a room full of people who share the same love and appreciation for music,” she shared. “I also love getting to meet the artists. It is awe some enough as it is to see these artists per form on our college campus, but even more so to be able to meet them in a casual setting.” Like many other ViCE members, Cullinan shares a passion for finding the trendiest mu sic. In fact, Cullinan noted that her love lan guage is sharing music and making playlists. What has been on Cullinan’s playlists recent ly? “Good Will Hunting” by Black Country, New Road. But, in typical ViCE style, Culli nan also asserted that her music taste ranges from Elliott Smith to Bladee to Dead Kenne dys.Although first-years have only had the opportunity to attend a few meetings, many already praised the ability to be in a group of people with such varied music tastes and passion for entertainment. New member Matthew Tavarez ’26 exclaimed, “I really love all different types of music, and the potential of new ViCE projects is really exciting. The
Image courtesy of Dora Levite
Image courtesy of Dora Levite ’24.
Every morning, I go up to Home and greet Jayson Mcphee, the lovely Deece worker who serves breakfast at that station on weekdays. He always has something new to tell me and asks about how my classes are going. Every thing feels lighter and less intimidating with out the usual roar of the Deece and the stress of having hundreds of hungry students. Ear ly-morning Deece is a different place altogeth er. It allows you to take a minute to breathe before your day starts and to get to know the people who serve you food every day a little bit better.There’s a whole new side of Vassar when you’re awake before the majority of the stu dents on campus. In a place where it can feel like we’re always running around to meet the next deadline, the early morning provides a space for reflection and calmness. Although waking up early is not for everyone, I highly recommend trying it at least once before you
Social Media Chair for ViCE, Sebastian Montanez ’25, shared similar sentiments: “One of my favorite things is music, and with ViCE, I wanted to get as involved as possible. When I joined ViCE, I was just excited to be a part of something music-related because music is just always so enjoyable.” Mantanez also credits the members of the organization and the creative freedom members have as
enthusiastically agreed. “I loved the way that Hannah Schwimmer and Natalie Day ran ViCE last year. I was so inspired by their leadership and the way that they spoke so fondly of the leaders before them...I knew I wanted to continue their legacy.” Levite not ed that in her childhood, going to concerts with family and friends greatly influenced her love of music and, later, her involvement in ViCE. She emphasized that people talking about music is one of the many things about ViCE that she loves. Although she loves all music, Levite particularly enjoys unex pected instrumental movements, such as “Flying Lotus' bass moment in ‘Never Catch Me,’ ‘Str8 Outta Mumbai’ by Jai Paul and the drums in ‘Fool in the Rain’ by Led Zeppelin.”
’24.
The Vassar deer love the area of grass be tween Ely Hall, Swift Hall and the College Center, and when nobody is around, they are out grazing on grass. I have countless videos from this time and the 15-minute walk to the AFC that I would take every morning. Say

. This dynamic duo not only holds a wealth of knowledge about the ins and outs of the en tertainment industry, but they also happen to have impeccable personal taste in music. Epstein said he draws inspiration from a wide range of influences, from recommen dations from his older brother to the songs he hears walking down the street. “Generally [my music taste] really follows the mood I’m in at the given moment,” Epstein explained. Given these ambiguous qualifications, Ep stein decided that his song of the summer was “Soledad y el Mar” by Natalia Lafour cade. “It’s slow and mellow and beautiful and encapsulates a lot of the beauty and slowness of Poughkeepsie in the summer,” Epstein described. Beyond his passion for music, Ep stein noted that the preceding ViCE co-chairs inspired his dedication to the organization. Epstein aspires to to remind the student body of the beauty a shared love of music creates. Planning the fall concert in particular has
Clearly, ViCE members aren’t ones to dwell in specific genres, and instead would rather dive into as many different musical niches as possible. This flexibility prompts the cre ative brainstorming that allows for artists all across the musical spectrum to perform at Vassar. The result is a multitude of diverse musical experiences that all Vassar students can sample as they wish, thanks to the hard work of the members of ViCE.
September 22, 2022Page 8
chairs Dora Levite ’24 and Gavriel Epstein ’23
from ViCE on page 1
The sound of crickets fills the air before the sun rises over Vassar College. At 5:50 a.m., it’s extremely quiet and calm with few signs of life, except the occasional deer family or Campus Security car driving by. The expe rience of being awake at 5:50 a.m. is one that differs depending on where you are, but it is relaxing nonetheless.
Members of ViCE share their favorite songs of the summer

graduate—you never know what you may find out about yourself and those around you during the walks you take at 5:50 a.m. and the places you go before 8 a.m.
ing hello to the deer became a daily ritual as I would travel past Main and head towards the bridge to the TAs. I would let my mind wander, and the crisp, cool air of the morn ing allowed my brain to fully wake up before I arrived at the AFC. By the time I arrived at the AFC, it would be 6 a.m., and by 7 a.m., I would be at the Deece, enjoying the quiet be fore the roar of the morning crowds.
other reasons he loves being part of ViCE. The energy surrounding meetings and so cial media interactions makes the hard work that the organization does worth it. “I love working with people, and this club really immerses us in working collaboratively with one another,” emphasized Montanez. Mu sic is the primary driving force that brings members of ViCE together, and the devotion each member brings creates an irreplaceable collaborative environment. As for his song of the summer, Montanez looked towards some of his favorite joyful and loud pop music to inform his decision: “My song of the summer is ‘DESPECHA’ by Rosalia. It is a good Spanish pop summer song with a nice upbeat vibe to get me in a summer mood!”
prospect of eventually celebrating many dif ferent art forms and artists on campus will be really amazing.” Tavarez passionately described his future aspirations for his in volvement in ViCE, which included delving into more journalistic approaches regarding music entertainment and potentially explor ing visual arts more thoroughly. Tavarez also gushed about his taste in music, claiming: “My music taste is all over the place, but I really enjoy R&B; I’m currently enjoying the song ‘Sober’ by Childish Gambino.”
Sophia Wood Guest Columnist
Arriving at the Deece at 7 a.m. is an expe rience in and of itself that only furthers this
Images courtesy of Natalie Coletta ’24.
Living in a different country is scary—but so was going to high school for the first time, or heading to Vassar for first-year orientation. But these are the experiences you need in life. Whether we like to admit it or not, we are living in a bubble. Not just in college, but in our lives. Living in Paris introduced me to a culture I had only read about, showed me people that I never knew could exist and made me appreciate all the friendships and love that I had. Through living in a different country, you are not just seizing the opportunity of a lifetime, but you are also discovering so much about who you are as a person (which would not be possible any other way).
Far and away: Study abroad stories from the past and present
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE Page 9FEATURESSeptember 22, 2022

Tim Nguyen ’23 Paris
Pictured here is a day trip to Kamak ura, which is a beach town and home to many historical shrines. It’s about an hour outside of Tokyo and home to the Great Buddha! Built in the 13th century, this bronze statue has long been an iconic symbol of Japan.

And that’s when I realized: There is no way. You just have to experience it yourself. You just have to take a leap of faith.
“How was studying abroad?” This is the question I heard at least once a week last summer, and no matter how many times I’ve answered it, I find myself unsatisfied with my own words. I wish there was some way to convey how eye-opening and magical living in France felt.

Images courtesy of Tim Nguyen ’23.
Natalie Coletta ’24 Japan
Thus, to go back to the question at the start of this, my best answer would be, “You won’t know until you try.”
Here's a glimpse of my lunch breaks in Tokyo! Kaiten sushi, or conveyor belt sushi, is an extremely popular and shockingly cheap way of indulg ing in local cuisine.

Another amazing thing about Ja pan is the café scene. I’ve already visit ed quite a few, but my all-time favor ite has to be this pig café located in the lively hub of Harajuku. For about $15 an hour (coffee and tea included), you can experience the joy of a pig taking a nap in your lap. A very worthy in vestment.

I can imagine that the monarch proceed ed to pack all up their butterfly belongings and is now miles and miles away from here. Yesternight, a motel in Scranton; today, the early train to Harrisburg, all the while ex citedly flipping through a brochure for Ti juana, as not to miss any of the beautiful
details or images.
Humor Editor “Forget drugs”: Students now microdose on luck and a good night’s sleep IN NEED OF A COUCH? The Misc is selling its (in)famous Pee Couch™! For the low, low price of "Whatever you wanna pay!"* *You must be able to remove the Pee Couch from the Misc Office by yourself. The Misc is not liable for any discomfort, malaise or STIs you may experience from the Pee Couch. The Misc cannot confirm nor deny the existence of actual human urine on the Pee Couch. We are $350 in debt to Adobe. Please buy it.

On the other side of the dog spectrum, I passed by a dog with such long legs that it reactivated my childhood fear of large dogs. After it passed me, I anxiously looked over my shoulder at least five different times to really gauge the leg length I had just witnessed. If this dog were to wear pants (which they would wear exclusively on their back two legs), that dog would have had at minimum a 32” inseam, which is un necessarily long.
Nicholas Tillinghast/The Miscellany News.
Madi Donat/The Miscellany News.
From the desk of Madi
“Damn, I better flap down to Mexico. This Poughkeepsie, NY, sure has a lot of Steinway pianos, but what it lacks is Margarita Monday.”
Nicholas Tillinghast/The Miscellany News.
NicholasLepihelicopteristTillinghast
The monarch butterfly may be gone, but the tiger swallowtail will stay in Pough keepsie all year long. The tiger thinks, “As much as I’d love to see the Chichen Itza, an incredible testament to ancient Maya civi lization, I’d rather take a very long nap for the entirety of winter instead.” With a yawn and a shiver, the tiger swallowtail will once again spin into a chrysalis, reminiscing about the chrysalis they once spun in their youth.
Before I get to my butterfly comments, I must say there is an ample supply of quality dogs around campus this semester. I saw this real tiny black dog that was smaller than an infant and yet was trusted to not be on a leash, which kind of blew my mind.
bright colors tell you very simply, “If you eat me, you may die, so don’t.” The com mon bathroom moth is a far less photoge nic insect. They appear on window screens
Breaking News Donat,
I was able to identify the dog as a Scot tish Deerhound, a breed of canine who won the 2011 Westminster Dog Show and the past two National Dog Shows. It seems that everybody but me is enamored with the Scottish Deerhound’s 32” inseam legs. You might be thinking, “But Nick, isn't the Westminster Dog Show a competition based on breed standards and not on the subjective qualities of a dog breed?” If that were true, then why has the Terrier Group won best in show in 41% of all Westminster Dog Show competitions, according to the Westminster Kennel Club? Riddle me that, America.Twoweeks ago, while working for the greenhouse, I pulled my club car up by the narrow stretch of flowers in front of the li brary (it’s okay if you can’t picture that spot in your head; it's very forgettable). Right through my windshield, I could see a cer tain striped yellow butterfly. It was the tiger swallowtail, fluttering its wings and touch ing bright pink and yellow flowers. Right behind it was a national treasure, the mon
The Nature Report: Tell the butterflies how you feel before they go


Some monarchs like this one may have fluttered away, but you still may have the opportunity to tell some other monarch butterfly how you feel before they go—like how you think their wings are pretty cool and how you would never eat them, not just because because they’re toxic and be cause it could kill you, but also because that wouldn’t be very nice and because you have a deep respect for butterflies. I think the monarch butterfly population would be re ally receptive to this.
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE September 22, 2022Page 10
HUMOR
arch butterfly, tonguing nectar. It was very easy to hop out of my golf cart and point my rectangular device a foot away from the tiger and the monarch with out freaking them out. Butterflies are quite confident in their ability to exist. Their
and sink rims, colored like a brown paper bag, and just stare, longingly, as I brush my teeth. I have no good bathroom moth pic tures.Last Thursday night, the air finally dipped down to a level that I would consider “Oh boy, it’s chilly out” weather. As I walked from the Deece to Main, I began to feel shiv ers come over me. I can only imagine what that monarch butterfly was thinking that night, but it was probably something along the lines of, “Damn, I better flap down to Mexico. This Poughkeepsie, NY, sure has a lot of Steinway pianos, but what it lacks is Margarita Monday.”
14. Old Laundry
You are an adult. You get up at a reason able time every morning. You do not spend the first 30 minutes of the day scroll ing through social media. You did not learn about Queen Elizabeth’s death through Tumblr.Youcompletely forgot that today was your ex-boyfriend’s 20th birthday. You did not think about wishing him a happy birth day on WhatsApp even though you haven’t talked to him in months. The last time you talked to your ex-boyfriend was not coated in the sweet sweat of awkwardness. You have gotten over the fact that his new girl friend has the same racial background as you. You did not compulsively listen to the entire soundtrack of the musical “13” today because he played a character in it in mid
12. Chicago
all get squished into one building, and even sadder for the state of said building. The OLB needs some serious TLC. IDK how much you actually hang out in there, considering all of your classes are cross-listed, but IMO it’s not the most fun place to work or study or take classes. I only hope that you could assess the real problems of our terrible world and make the change you want to in a building that can actually house what I’m sure is like 500 stu dents. Next time your building makes you say OMG, push for the change you are all studying about.
Ah, the Old Laundry. Home of the specia lest majors at Vassar! Yes, you’re right; you ARE not like other girls because you have to take 10.5 units in TWO disciplines instead of one to get your degree!! The home of the ac ronyms: AMST, URBS, MEDS, STS, AFRS and of course WFQS. Only the funnest ma jor names to say aloud! I am sad that you
but you could do more in the way of adver tising. Not saying that that will fix it, but it certainly couldn’t hurt.
Is Olmsted nice? Sure. Does it have a very beautiful greenhouse that makes me extremely happy every time I walk by it? Absolutely. But let’s get one thing straight, friends: Olmsted is the only building on the Vassar campus to have a collection of dead birds lined up in a hallway for your view ing pleasure. Sure, taxidermy is an art, and sure, I bet I could learn something from reading their little individual placards. But that does not change the fact that those are dead birds, and I don’t want to look at them right now. The rest of the building doesn’t make me too happy, either; the bricks are dark, the ceilings are low, the light from the windows seems oddly slim given how big they are. It feels like a building from an of fice park, not an educational institution. I’d rather hang out in the greenhouse, or even in the bird hallway, and that’s saying some thing. At least the birds get a bit of light.
Nandini Likki Just Fine, Thanks Very Much
17. New Hack
Madi Donat First Place in List-Making
[CW: This article contains mentions of disordered eating.]
I have never had a class in Kenyon, but for some reason I find myself going there a TON. VRDT performances are very nice, sure, but Kenyon is simply a place of cog nitive dissonance for me. It’s kind of Old College Gothic on one face, but then the other side has remnants of our countrywide mid-century obsession with glass bricks and concrete. It’s giving… reform synagogue. Washington, D.C. suburb public pool. Cer tainly not experimental theatre and squash. What happens in Kenyon? Besides the classes, I guess. It’s so off-to-the-side, and it keeps staring at me as I drive past it on my way to the Deece (yes, sometimes I drive to the Deece from the TAs okay we all have THOSE DAYS). I wish I was more amenable to its mystery, its duality. But unfortunately I am not, and I am resigned to enter it with always a little more trepidation than when I entered it last. Worth noting, however, that I have not yet visited the roof. Perhaps that will turn things around for me. Until then, though, here it stays.
11. Doubleday
15. Ely
Listen. I have a lot of English major friends. Kind people, all of them. But the truth of the matter is that I simply cannot get behind a building that budgeted for both marble and carpet. Pick a lane. Also, the temperature of that building is never quite right. It hits you right when you walk in, and whatever it ends up being it is never what you expect. Plus, I almost failed As tronomy 105 in the Sanders lecture hall, so that’s certainly not helping its placement. Let’s have a frank discush about that lecture hall, shall we? The amount of… unfortunate comedy experiences I have had in that room does more than enough to lend it a less-thannice energy in my mind. I admire you all for trying, but sometimes I don’t want to hear how you are a woebegone straight man at Vassar. And I especially don’t want to hear you, a woebegone straight man at Vassar, tell me a story about pee.
you have it, folks: every class room building at Vassar, ranked definitive ly. I didn’t miss any, so if you think I did, remember that I didn’t. Tune in next week for another posi-TEA-vely great listicle, one that you definitely won’t want to miss. Until next time.
18. Blodgett
And so I return. You of course by now have likely figured out the contents of this list, but what matters now is the order. Perhaps your building will be the bestest of the worst, or perhaps it won’t. Perhaps this whole list was paid for by Big Bridge, and nothing I say can be taken seriously. Perhaps there are little gremlins living in my brain controlling my every move, and I have stumbled upon the genre of the listicle like monkeys at typewriters stumble upon “Hamlet.” Or maybe, you will have to accept the fact that some of these buildings are, as the kids say, “not it.”
dle school. You are completely over your ex-boyfriend.Yoursummer was amazing. You did not throw yourself into a loneliness-inducing obsession that you are still suffering the consequences of. Nobody treated you differ ently because of how you look. Your body did not physically change at all. You are the healthiest you have ever been.
A collection of affirmations for a Vassar morning
10. Kenyon
September 22, 2022 Page 11HUMOR MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
16. Olmsted
13. Sanders Classroom
What a joyous trek, across Kills and atop Bridges and through South Lots. It’s like a whole episode of “Dora the Explorer” to get to New Hackensack. That, and you’re right next to the security office, so don’t even TRY to park there illegally. If you’re in the SoCos it’s a nice leisurely stroll, but I have seen the pain of kids who live on the quad rolling their gallon bins of art supplies over the riv er and through the woods all for a two hour class that ends at 11:50, so don’t even pretend like you’ll be able to schedule a noon class in any other building. Do you feel special, on that walk? I feel like you’d have to, other wise you’d have no way of effectively delud ing yourself into dragging a full-size canvas three-quarters of a mile from where you live. I feel like, if you lived in the city, at that point you’d just get on a train. I dunno, I’ve never done it, but I think it must be a severe ly humbling experience. Have some more self-respect, New Hack-ers. I beg.
you because you know that you don’t have to sacrifice one for the other. You are confident enough in yourself and your personality to know that external things, like what you wear, don’t say that much about who you are. Despite this, you are unbothered by the fact that your collared shirt makes you look less like a cool girl from the ‘70s and more like an impoverished Victorian schoolboy. You remember people’s faces and names. When you make small talk, it’s perfectly normal, even award-winning. You don’t secretly think that small talk is stupid and that you’d rather talk about anything other than the fact that’s it’s hot or that it’s cold or that it’s raining. You resist the urge to talk about all the TLC that you’ve been listening to recently. When you walk to class while listening to TLC, you do not mouth Chilli’s verses behind your mask.
Chicago is nice, mostly. I mean, the bath room situation is odd at best and hostile at worst—you can either pee in the middle of the hallway basically, or the darkest, sad dest basement you have ever, ever seen. Seems like a bad deal to me. I do love how it kinda feels like a little house. But, and this comes from a place of love as an ex-French correlate, it is so ugly. At least a building like Kenyon has the grace of being cool and fu turistic on the inside. Chicago is not futuris tic. It is stuck in the ’70s, and it has a lasagna roof. And it so much faces the road. I can’t imagine being someone who only drives past this campus by way of Raymond Ave. and has only seen the back part of the library and, of all things, Chicago. Couldn’t we have at least secluded it a bit more? I don’t like how close it is to the quad, either. Classroom buildings and ResLife do NOT mix. At least Rocky is stately and closer to central cam pus. Chicago is simply wrong. And now that we don’t have a Sex Tree anymore, Chicago really doesn’t have much going for it.
Dead. Fucking. Last. And there are many reasons. You probably know most of them. The Euthenics stuff, firstly, certainly doesn’t help. Why is there still a Euthenics plaque by the Blodgett courtyard, huh, Vassar? I like that a good Samaritan put an Anthony Bourdain plaque next to it that definitely steals its thunder, but I would appreciate a light edit to that façade. Of course, though, why students hate Blodgett more day in and day out, is its incomprehensibility. Not ev ery door leads to every classroom. Let’s think about that for a second. Isn’t that like, the goal of a building? To be able to go into one of the doors and then go into any room in the building once you’re inside it? Wouldn’t that make more sense? There’s a building at Am herst College, where I spent some time in my youth, which is known apocryphally to be “riot-proof.” I do not know if that fact has been substantiated, but I do know that the measure for “riot-proofing” is that it takes more than 90 seconds to run from the front door to the back door. If that is riot-proof, then Blodgett doesn’t even have “riot” in its vocabulary. Blodgett is just regular walk ing-proof. Existing-proof. And certainly me-proof.Andthere
You have stopped thinking about how other people perceive you. You are so con
stantly aware of the generous amounts of love that you receive from your friends and family that your mental health does not hinge on the tone of voice of a stranger who holds open a door for you. You have stopped beating yourself up over the people you’ve hurt in the past. You are focusing on appre ciating and being present for the people you have in your life right now. Like Chilli from TLC.You take care of your body. You don’t eat too quickly, but you don’t eat too slow ly either. You finish eating the whole bowl of cereal this time. You are not going to go through a program that teaches you how to eat again because you are not a little baby taking her first steps into the world. You are turning 19 in a month. This is something that you are okay with.
Ranking the classroom buildings, part 2: The unsavory ones
Anyone who can make things with their hands deserves an automatic win at life in my book. That said, art studios always strike me as very sterile and sad. Maybe it’s because you know you’re gonna get stuff everywhere, so you don’t bother making it nice. Double day just kind of looks like a garage. Which is cute, I guess, if you like doing sculpture and printmaking and whatever else in your ga rage. Also, once I went in there at like nine at night and I gotta say, those human forms are terrifying in the dark. I do not want to experience that again. Put those away when you’re done with them! At the end of the day, though, Doubleday simply suffers from the fact that nobody knows what or where or why it is. And, sure, that’s not your fault,
You go through your morning routine smoothly. You do not act out Shobana’s monologue from “Manichitrathazhu” as you comb your hair. You do not pull faces at yourself in the mirror as you put sun screen on your face. You remember to put sunscreen on your face. You have stopped wincing at the taste of your multivitamins. Your hair looks good today. When you put it up, you won’t take down the hairstyle at lunchtime because you decided that it actu ally looks like trash. You will wear an outfit that’s both comfortable and looks good on
You don’t use Misc articles to cope with the tidal pool that is your life right now. You will tell all of this to your therapist.
Ely is the home of rocks, nude models and social dances. A very Vassar building for sure. Remember when the Aula was the home of our COVID testing site? Wasn’t that so fun? Wasn’t that so cool and interesting and not soul-destroying at all? I need to let you all know that, while I am not anti-geolo gy, I am very anti-your-building. Though the arch has given me shelter from many a rain storm, I will never forget the day in Spring 2021 when I received the most soul-crushing email while wandering the upstairs art gal leries. An email which caused a weeks-long spiral and much much crying, all experi enced as my friend and I peeped our heads into the model studio which did not, at that time, have a nude model. And don’t even get me started on the modeling stuff— appar ently, the professor doesn’t tell the models what body part they’re doing that day, so you might get stuck with the misfortune of hav ing everyone look at your feet for two hours straight. Sounds terrifying.
April 20 | May 20
Sometimes a cold gust of air will blow and I will think, “It’s finally fall.” And then it will be 80 degrees and I will think, “Never mind.” Relish in the uncertainty this week. Maybe you can extrapolate it to other things. It’s okay if you don’t know what other things— we are talking about uncertainty, after all.
June 21 | July 22
Not everything is a winner. Not every joke you tell lands; not every paper gets a great grade; not every dorm room is free of cockroaches. We live and we learn, and we strive to do better next time. Learning about yourself is the best part of life! That and buying roach traps that kill all of the cockroaches and their little eggs, too.
Madi Donat Astral Projector
It can be tempting to wonder how other people feel, or how other people got where they did. But comparison really won’t get you anywhere. We are all different and that’s what makes us great! I have gifts that you don’t have, and you have gifts that I don’t have. Unless we are actually the same per son. Did I make you up?
Nothing like a humid day to remind us that we so truly have joints and they so truly are hurting. I am not a grand mother, and yet I snap and crackle and pop at a rate so unlike what should be happening to my spry, 21-year-old body. If you feel weak in the coming days, remember to be strong in your heart. And to drink some milk maybe.
LIBRA September 23 | October 22


HOROSCOPES
I am very scared a lot of the time, and I know that a lot of other people also are, as well. But being scared is so much worse than just doing the thing! Because once you do it, you don’t have to be scared of it anymore because it already happened. This does not apply to real scary things, of course, like skydiving or crying in office hours.
Names make things harder to lose and easier to remember. Naming electronics and things dear to you might be nice, but those are rookie moves. This week, name everything, even name all of your emails. It will make you like them more if it’s just Franklin telling you that you have a pa per due this week instead of Moodle.
CAPRICORN December 22 | January 19
SAGITTARIUS November 22 | December 21
PISCES February 19 | March 20

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE Page 12 September 22, 2022
TAURUS




August 23 22September|
VIRGO



CANCER
LEO July 23 22August|
ARIES March 21 | April 19

It would be nice to escape for a bit. Take a long nap, or swim in the sea like a mermaid. But escaping is not all it’s chalked up to be. For one, there are sharks in the ocean, and they might want to eat you, especially if your hair is shiny or if you have metal crowns. And for two, electronics don’t work in water. No cat videos down there.
HUMOR
Everyone had a childhood phase that they never really grew out of. For me it was Ancient Greece, obviously, but it was also reptiles. I wish I’d learned more about them. Revisit your childhood won der this week, for better or for worse. Reminisce over the time you felt free to learn without shame. Save the healing for next week.
There’s always just a few too many things to do. How can we cope? How can we carve out more hours in a day? There’s a couple options: 1) Don’t do things (BAD IDEA). 2) Learn to time travel (impos sible). 3) Become more efficient at tasks (HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!). 4) Maybe just choose one thing to not do?
May 21 | June 20
GEMINI
The WiFi has been a little silly this week! Maybe it’s the Universe trying to tell us something, like to adjust our routers. WiFi is energy, and if the ener gy is beaming in a way that can’t reach us, we should do something about it. Maybe plug a battery into a lemon and see if that does anything. It can’t hurt.
You can’t, and won’t, be everything for everyone, and that’s okay! Different peo ple will need you at different times, and some of those times your bandwidth will be out. Be as much as you can, but don’t stretch yourself too thin. Sometimes all someone needs is a hug, or a drawing of a small animal. Keep those on hand.
What do other people think of you? Hint: It doesn’t matter. Well, that’s a lie; it matters a little. If everyone thinks you’re really mean, that’s probably not a good sign. But picking apart people’s ev ery statement to you is not helpful or pro ductive! So what they said “This is very, very late”? That doesn’t mean a thing!
AQUARIUS January 20 | February 18
SCORPIO October 23 | November 21

Living alone can be a lot of fun. Maybe you’re trying to avoid annoying room mates. Maybe you’ve finally found a hous ing situation humble enough that you can afford it on your own. Or maybe you just despise both disgusting human beings and the cruel sun, preferring to shelter your rep tilian flesh from its searing rays in a filthy burrow all your own. Either way, you might find that there’s a bit of a learning curve to starting up your own household. Luckily, having done it for nearly two weeks now, I already know literally everything there is to know about having my own place—so read on to learn from the master!
Alyssa Willeford Hasn't Spoken to Another Human in
This all raises the question… will I ever change? I think we all know the answer to that question, but no need to say it.
Now, you may be wondering: Have I al ways been this terrible at doing my work and completing tasks on time while simultane ously putting all my energy into tasks that have no urgency at all? The answer is yes, yes I have. I firmly believe that at the age of 11, I was already diagnosed with a major case of senioritis. And I have carried that with me for the last 10 years. Although I have al ways managed to get everything done, it has never been in a timely, stress-free manner. And still, with my unlimited amount of
ents, add seasonings and stir until you turn out exactly the same kind of bland and un inspiring garbage food as the cafeteria, right there in the discomfort of your own home. Bone app the teeth!
alone comes in: Rather than bland and un inspiring dining hall meals, you’ll enjoy the opportunity to spend hours preparing the perfect dish. There’s no need torefer to any kind of recipe. Simply select your ingredi
~ Anna Kozloski
Now I know what you’re saying: “Foolish human! My dark masters command me to live my life without vain adornments!” But hear me out. Even the smallest of dwellings becomes much brighter and livelier with a splash of color on the walls or an exciting throw on the couch. For example, consid er a modernist painting, a fun tapestry or perhaps a copy of the landmark “Hide the Pain Harold Opens Up” issue of Meme Insid er magazine. Simply purchase these items, place them in a drawer and wait for the in spiration to strike to finally put them up. I find that spending money gives me a great sense of forward momentum in life, and the knowledge that I could, at absolutely any time, transform the appearance of my lit tle lair helps as well. By the way, if you find yourself out of hanging putty, dried mayon naise works just the same.
guish, it has given me most of the material for this god forsaken column.
Said a wistful, heartbroken snail, “Beware a heart set
To a cat in pursuit of its tail

September 22, 2022 Page 13HUMOR MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
First of all, you’ll have to furnish your humble abode with all the things necessary to human life, namely groceries, some sim ple furnishings, Walmart Great Value liq uid eggs, towels and linens, cucumber lime Gatorade and a cattle prod. Since this first shopping trip can be confusing, I find that it’s best to do it all in one place. That way, you can simply make a comprehensive list of the items you need, then peruse the store’s aisles until you eventually leave with nothing that
After all that decorating, you’ll probably be hungry. Here’s where the magic of living
was on that list and a wide variety of things that weren’t. Perhaps you wanted to buy milk and bread, but a dozen jalapeño peppers and a pack of hamburger buns without any burg ers to eat them with should do just as well. When you’re out of money, you’ll know it’s time to move on to the Decoration Phase.
Once you’re done cooking, the horrible streaks of brown grease on the walls and the blast zone on the stovetop might lead you to
Ihave finally made it. The pinnacle of my academic career and most likely the end, unless I am met with an existential crisis upon graduation. Senior year of col lege. I will not lie, there were times that made me question whether or not I would ever make it. I mean, for those of you who have read my column, it is no secret that I have terrible work habits and a tendency to make very poor decisions in my academic life. While most of those experiences have brought me a lot of frustration and an
Days
hubris in the belief that I will make this the year I finally change, I have once again set myself on this journey.
consider cleaning up after yourself. If not, no judgment; sometimes, it’s more fun to let mold grow for a soft and pillowy cleaning experience. If you do want to scrub down the kitchen, though, just remember one simple tip: using a clean washcloth might sound like a good idea, but because washcloths cost money that you already spent on a Valu-Pak of four restaurant-sized jugs of Heinz Mayo chup, it’s best to steer clear. Instead, scrub vigorously with the corner of your shirt until most of the stains are gone. There is such a thing as partial credit in home cleaning. Living alone doesn’t have to be difficult. The key is just not to sweat the small stuff. Don’t worry about little issues, like the drip ping faucet or the torn shower curtain or the steadily-growing pile of evidence that a strange man is living in your walls. Usually, problems like that fix themselves anyway, given enough time. Instead, let yourself re lax: Pour yourself a drink, open a window and lay back on the industrial-size bag of Wonka Nerds that you use as both bed and groovy beanbag chair. Do you smell that smell? No, not the delicate aroma of un refrigerated mayonnaise covered in black mold—the other one. That, my friend, is the smell of freedom
Star-Crossed Lovers
But, as I look back at my writing for The Misc, a majority of my pieces have been cen tered around my laziness, my inability to tell the truth when it comes to said laziness and the lack of drive when it comes to my very expensive academic career. Not the best impression I can give to future employers.
If I'm a senior, is it too late to change my ways?
had. What really digs it in is the fact that I have refused to buy any of the required texts for my classes this year. If it isn't online in a blurry PDF, I ain't reading it.
On what it can’t get!
Carly D'Antonio One Foot Out the Door
"Using a clean washcloth might sound like a good idea, but because washcloths cost money that you already spent on a Valu-Pak of four restaurant-sized jugs of Heinz Mayochup, it’s best to steer clear."
The fool-proof guide to solo apartment living
I should know; I’m in love with a whale!”
It usually starts out with little changes, like scheduling. This year, I decided I was going to utilize the Calendar app on my phone to structure my time in a less hectic way. Has this helped? Meh. Have I used it once since the first day of class? Nah. Then it usually goes to the really massive unachiev able goals, like doing all of my readings. It doesn't help that I need lots of noise around me to focus and I get very easily bored with literally every college reading I have ever
AreConstitution.healthcareprofessionals going to ask people seeking abortions if they are a Re form Jew or Unitarian before allowing their
OPINIONS
Eric Adams’ war against homeless people is funded by real estate
Karina BetrayedColumnistBurnettby
Image courtesy of Hardik Pandya via Unsplash.
percent of the country’s population, but we make up as much as 23 percent of the home less population, per the Pine Street Inn. Ac cording to NPR, AFAB veterans are four times more likely to be homeless than their male counterparts, meaning that female veterans are disportionately more likely to be homeless. We have been betrayed over and over again. I am not the first. I won’t be the last. But the truth is that the same peo ple in the Supreme Court who would thank me for my service believe that I have less individual autonomy and sovereignty than the eggs in my fallopian tubes. They would have me arrested for the four miscarriages I had in my 20s.
medical care to occur? After all, according to Pew Research, both religions support wom en’s right to safe abortions. Of course not; they’ll deny the patient acess to safe abor tion regardless of religious beliefs because religion only matters when it supports the pro-life argument, not when it disagrees. Overturning Roe v. Wade overlooks the le gal precedent of the Fourth, Fifth and 13th Amendments. The Fourth Amendment states that the government can’t search or seize my property without cause. Searching my body for proof of pregnancy or abortion sounds pretty unlawful to me. The Fifth al lows for a speedy trial and due process. Preg nancy is a 40-week nightmare of hormones and health risks. As someone who has expe rienced pregnancy, there is nothing speedy about it. According to Alabama.com, there are already cases of women being detained until they give birth under the guise of pro tecting the fetus. And the 13th amendment abolished slavery. Forcing people to carry a child to term against their will with no fi nancial compensation or support sounds a lot like slavery to me. If that comparison makes you uncomfortable, good. It should make you uncomfortable; it should be an outrageous comparison that borders on in appropriate. However, the facts remain: the United States has a terrible history of forced birth in a racist system of oppression. To quote MSNBC’s Ja’han Jones: “What is slav ery if not claiming dominion over a body that isn’t yours? And in this case, rightwing lawmakers are claiming ownership over the bodies of pregnant people because they claim to have a vested interest in the babies those bodies can produce. It is liter ally forced labor.” The overturning of Roe v. Wade has reduced people to the sum of their uterus rather than the sum of themselves; it is dehumanizing and will disproportionate ly affect women of color, according to Reu
Although the Housing Stability and Protection Act, passed in 2019 by Mayor Bill DeBlasio, helped curb real estate spec ulation—a driving cause of excessive rent hikes—Community Service Society reports that the recession caused by COVID-19 re opened the door to profit-driven develop ers looking to consolidate the city’s hous ing market. This bubble hasn’t burst yet; shockingly, NY1 reports that the median rent in Manhattan rose just above $4,000 in June 2022. The continual presence of unhoused people on the streets shows this tightening housing market; the specula tion driving up rent prices makes perma nent housing hopeless for many.

My initial reaction was shock. I wasn’t shocked that politicians didn’t value wom en; society has been sending that message for years, from everything from the covers of magazines to TV ads. I wasn’t surprised by the religious subtext in the arguments made by national leaders; I grew up in the South, so the concept of separation of church and state as an idea and not a prac tice wasn’t new to me. I was shocked by the willingness to ignore legal precedent. Legal precedent was what I thought was going to protect women in America. Surely, the Su preme Court wouldn’t ignore the law. The overturning of Roe v. Wade would mean dismissing almost 50 years of legal prece dent. It would mean violating the religious freedoms of communities that place value on the mother’s life over the fetus—a right protected in the First Amendment of the U.S.
There is a tendency to describe the ex istence of houseless people in cities as a “homeless problem,” even a “crisis.” This language creates a passive narrative that misses the point entirely: the crisis is in herent to the system. Any government initiative that claims to aim to solve home lessness with financial backing from the very institutions that create housing pre carity is simply trying to hide the material evidence of a bloodthirsty system. In using homeless outreach plans as a means to bolster the private real estate industry, the Adams administration exemplifies the in ability of the state to address the manmade “crisis” which proves intrinsic to corporate and political profit.
September 22, 2022
Since becoming the mayor of New York City in January 2022, Eric Adams has introduced five programs aimed at offering “outreach” to unhoused people. However, after months of expanding police funding to push homeless people out of subways and encampments, the goal and efficacy of Adams’ initiatives are still ambiguous. Though his administration touts that about 2,000 people have been moved into shelters as a result of these sweeps, Goth amist reports that there is little to no infor mation on the longevity of their stays or on the conditions and stability of this hous ing. Additionally, the promise of a bed in New York City’s notoriously dangerous and carceral shelter system is not always appealing or advisable. In the first week of Adams’ subway sweeps, according to the New York Post, only 22 out of the 1,000 unhoused people recorded by cops and city workers agreed to move to a shelter.
my nation: Vassar veteran speaks on Roe v. Wade
The clinical, vaguely progressive lan guage the Adams administration uses to justify its aggressive methods can’t quite distract from the obvious goals of these programs. Adams describes that the exis tence of unhoused people in public spaces is evidence of a “dysfunctional” city, NBC New York reports. If this alleged dysfunc tion is lacking the capability to house all of the city’s inhabitants, it would be more advantageous to look to the predatory real estate industry instead of to the people
Many of Adams’ efforts essentially focus on moving unhoused people out of public spaces and out of sight. Per his adminis tration’s press releases, the clearest inten tion of his programs is to provide more shelter beds—not permanent housing— and to streamline the system that delivers people into those spaces. The subsequent attempts to provide “holistic support” to people in need of stable housing ring like an afterthought, declared in vague and
ters. We can no longer police our language in this fight for human rights. We tried be ing reasonable and polite and it didn’t work.
"Anger is fueling me for a fight that should have ended decades ago."
Seven years. I served for seven years in the United States military. I was proud of my service, willing to believe that my enlistment was a mostly necessary part of my growth as an adult. It taught me lead ership, gave me a voice and is where I met my spouse. The good outweighed the bad. The good made my government-issued glasses rosy enough to ignore the sexism that I experienced and the racism that I saw my peers deal with. I was willing to suffer physically and mentally for the sake of the benefits. And then, this summer, two and a half years after I left the military, Roe v. Wade was overturned.
Although Adams frames homelessness in the city as a public safety issue, as seen in his Subway Safety Plan, the funding be hind his most recent initiative, the Home less Assistance Fund, reveals another shareholder in this effort—private compa nies with real estate interests. According to New York Focus, 61 companies in the financial, real estate and media sectors do nated $8 million to the non-profit organi zation Breaking Ground, which provides services like medical care and employment connections to unhoused people. This is a good start, but the priority behind this ini tiative is clearly profit-based. According to Politico, Adams receives substantial cam paign funding from real estate investment and development executives; subsequent ly, New York Focus reports that in-demand neighborhoods for real estate speculation make up the designated “target areas” of the Homeless Assistance Fund.
pushed to the margins of society.
The opinions expressed above do not represent those of The Miscellany News as a whole. MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE Page 14
Britt Andrade Guest Columnist
[CW: This piece contains discussion of abor tion/miscarriage & pregnancy/childbirth]
press-friendly terms. So who will this ini tiative really benefit?
Now we need to be honest. Next, I felt anger—an overwhelming, deep-seated anger. I still feel angry; I haven’t moved on in the stages of grief. Honestly, I don’t plan to move on from this feeling. An ger is fueling me for a fight that should have ended decades ago. I’m angry that women of color and poor people are going to be dis proportionately hurt by this decision. I’m angry that I felt relieved that my child was born male because he would be safer than his female peers. I’m angry that I raised my right hand and swore an oath to de fend the United States Constitution and my country responded with betrayal. I’m not the first veteran to feel betrayed. The U.S. military has the same racist, sexist past as the rest of American history. History.com reports that Black G.I.s were denied home loans and access to the G.I. Bill after World War II. Post Sept. 11, veterans were denied proper medical care after being exposed to toxic fumes from burn pits in Afghanistan and Iraq. Veteran suicide rates are one of the highest in the country, at 17 a day, cited the U.S Department of Veteran Affairs. Ac cording to the National Resource Center on Domestic Violence, assigned female at birth (AFAB) veterans report that one-third have been sexually assualted and 71 to 90 percent admit to being sexually harrassed. The U.S. Census reports that veterans make up seven
Some of you may say I’m being dramat ic, that Roe v. Wade is about abortion and that women experiencing a miscarriage won’t be mistreated by the law. Whatever you’re smoking to reach that level of disas sociation, I hope you plan to share with the class. It's already happening. According to the Marshall Project, women in Alabama are being arrested for the crime of addic tion during pregnancy. Republicans are al ready threatening to pull funding from the Veteran Affairs (VA) for its abortion stance after the VA promised to provide abortions to veterans in need, even in states where abortion is illegal, Military Times reports. Obviously those same Republicans believe that only veterans who fit their party ide als are deserving of care. Clear violations of civil liberties are already happening, and it's been less than four months since the overruling. I spent seven years in the military doing the “right thing.” I was quiet and did my job well. Today, I am no longer quiet and my job is to leave this world better than I found it. My job is to ensure that my children are protected. I will continue to do my job well. I won’t forget this betrayal and neither should you.
Silver has earned himself a thorough smearing of the reputation that was once strong as the commissioner who banned
September 22, 2022
NBA fails to hold Phoenix Suns owner Robert Sarver accountable
Silver defended his prioritization of con venience, saying to ESPN, “I have certain authority by virtue of this organization, and that's what I exercise. I don't have the right to take away his team. I don't want to rest on that legal point because of course there could be a process to take away someone's team in this league. It's very involved, and I ulti mately made the decision that it didn't rise to that level. But, to me, the consequences are severe here on Mr. Sarver.”
But the pressure before voices like Najafi or James or Paul spoke out was substantial. An extensive report detailing racism and mi sogyny, one that the league confirms itself, should have made this decision an easy one.
The ESPN report alleges that Sarver used racial slurs multiple times when speaking with coaches and athletes from the Suns and other NBA franchises. The report also alleges that Sarver often made lewd com ments to and about women; reporting these incidents to human resources departments proved unsafe, since higher-up executives could identify those who spoke out against them.Ina 43-page report released last Tuesday, the NBA confirmed these allegations.
Composed of testimony from more than 70 interviews with former and current em ployees, the report shines a light on the trou bling trends that Sarver has contributed to and allowed to grow during his nearly twodecade-long tenure as owner of the Suns.
Without considering individual legal warfare, there is the fact that three-fourths of the NBA’s Board of Governors, which is composed of all 30 owners, must vote in fa vor of forcing the owner out, ESPN report ed. These owners are colleagues, and even if there are no personal relationships, there is a keen understanding among owners that they set the standard they themselves will later be held to. Every removal of an own er only further normalizes a fate they fear greatly for themselves.
September is coming to a close and the baseball season with it. There are many crazy stories associated with the division races and upcoming playoffs (including their new format), but I want to take a look at the historic American League (AL) MVP race. The word “historic” gets thrown around a lot, but it is absolutely accurate when describing the 2022 AL MVP race.
So what is so historic about the 2022 AL MVP race? At this point in the year, it’s a twohorse race between Shohei Ohtani of the Los Angeles Angels and Aaron Judge of the New York Yankees. Judge is having a season un like any we have seen in a long time. Accord ing to Baseball Reference, he has a slash line of .316/.419/.701 (batting average/on-base per centage/slugging percentage) and, at the time of writing, had 127 runs batted in (RBI) and 59 home runs, just two away from breaking the non-steroid single-season record of 61 set by Roger Maris (also of the Yankees) in 1961. Just the fact that he could break such a sought-af ter record in a sport that has been keeping re cords since the 1800s is reason enough to give him the award in most seasons. Additional ly, when you consider that he isn’t just hitting for power, but is also hitting for average and getting on base, his achievements become all the more impressive. Judge’s .316 batting average is tied for second in the AL, and his 1.120 on-base plus slugging (OPS) laps the rest of the field. On top of that, he has a chance to win the triple crown, which is when a player leads his league in batting average, RBI and home runs. Judge leads the AL in home runs and RBI comfortably and, as mentioned be fore, is tied for second in batting average, just .01 behind the league leader. Miguel Cabrera (2012) is the only player in the last 50-plus years to win the AL triple crown, according to FanNation. So, Judge is a shoo-in, right?
Forcing an owner to sell their team is a public relations and legal nightmare for the NBA. Sarver, or any owner that finds them self in a situation similar to Sterling’s, is not going to lose their franchise without litigat ing the hell out of the league first.
In Sarver’s case, there is no tape, no hot mic, no form of compelling evidence that makes his misconduct the story nobody can stop talking about and earns the NBA the spotlight it will do anything to take off of it self. In Sarver’s case, the NBA’s hand is not forced. The organization has more leeway in making its priorities, an opportunity it has regrettably not passed up.
Sadly, a large amount of credit for the pun ishment that Donald Sterling faced is owed to the tape on which he was caught using the N-word. The tape was played on every media outlet throughout the world and thoroughly embarrassed the NBA. The tape forced the NBA’s hand.
cle), but it is a good starting point for trying to get a single number that represents all of a player’s contributions to their team. Accord ing to Baseball Reference, a WAR of about two means the player is a starter in the ma jor leagues, a WAR of about five means they are at an All-Star level and a WAR of eight or above means they are playing at an MVP level.Ohtani has the second-highest WAR among pitchers in the AL (5.3), and when you pair that with his offensive WAR (3.5), as well as a couple of other factors like fielding, his total comes out to 8.7. Judge has an offen sive WAR of 9.6, the same as his total. So by this metric, Judge should be the MVP. But as I mentioned earlier, this metric is far from perfect, and the MVP winner often does not correlate with the WAR leader.
When Silver says that Sarver’s actions did not rise to a certain level, he is referring to the investigation finding that Sarver was not motivated by racial animus, quite possibly the weakest justification of all in the NBA’s failure to hold Sarver accountable.
team and only has to serve a quick timeout. He even gets to play a part in appointing his temporary replacement.
Page 15SPORTS MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
When The Miscellany News covered this story last winter, we afforded NBA commis sioner Adam Silver a decent amount of cred it for his track record in situations similar to Sarver’s, namely forcing then Los Angeles Clippers owner Donald Sterling to sell the franchise and exiling him from the league after he was caught on tape saying the the
Donald Sterling and advocated for social jus tice.There is still time for Silver to correct the course of the NBA’s rulings while Sarv er is suspended, and the pressure has been strong.The day after the investigation results were released, NBA star LeBron James took to Twitter to express his displeasure with the ruling.“Our league definitely got this wrong,” James wrote. “I don’t need to explain why … I said it before and I’m gonna say it again, there is no place in this league for that kind of Evenbehavior.”Chris Paul, the Suns star point guard, pressured the league to do more.
N-word.Butinstead of banning Sarver—the seem ingly obvious and morally correct course of action—the league has turned Sarver into a poster child of toeing the line of misconduct without losing their franchise, the only pun ishment that is true accountability.
The NBA is letting Robert Sarver off easy, far too easy. And the league is showing that it prioritizes practicality and owner rights over accountability for gross miscon duct.10months ago, ESPN published a bomb shell report exposing the racist and misogy nistic workplace environment that Phoenix Suns owner Robert Sarver has perpetuated since purchasing the NBA franchise in 2004.
Yet, the punishment handed down by the NBA along with the results of its investiga tion was hardly a slap on the wrist: a oneyear suspension and a puny $10 million fine charged to a multimillionaire. After such appalling revelations, Sarver gets to keep his
“Like many others, I reviewed the report. I was and am horrified and disappointed by what I read,” Paul shared on Twitter. “This conduct especially towards women is unac ceptable and must never be repeated.”
The American League MVP for this year is . . .
Not so fast. Despite Judge’s ridiculous sea son, Ohtani is having a historic season as well, albeit in a different way. Ohtani is hav ing a great year at the plate, with a slash line of .266/.357/.534, 89 RBI and 34 home runs (per Baseball Reference). But these numbers seem pedestrian when compared to Judge’s. What really complicates the matter is that
Instead, Silver and the NBA have added to the long list of accountability failures in professional sports. Something the NBA and Silver were supposed to be better than.
Doug Cobb Sports Editor
Perhaps the most influential criticism came from the Suns’ minority owner, and the team’s second-largest stakeholder, Jahm Najafi, when he called for Sarver’s resigna tion, according to ESPN.
Unlike other leagues such as the NBA or NFL, there is a seemingly endless wealth of statistics in the MLB to try to quantify how good players are. The NBA has stats, but when determining an MVP in that league, things like impact on the game must also be considered. Certain players, such as LeB ron James or Michael Jordan in their prime, took control of games in a way that can’t be properly quantified with stats such as points or assists per game. A problem with the NFL is that different players have such different roles that the MVP race ends up compar ing apples to oranges. As a result, the MVP award is essentially a quarterback-only award (there are exceptions, of course, but veryThefew).MLB is different, though, because there are so many statistics available that it is usually much easier to tell who the best play ers are. Of course, arguments can be made about whether the home run leader or bat ting champion is more valuable, and players may lead the league in some statistics but not others. Baseball also has a bit of a position problem to account for, but it is not the same as the NFL. In baseball, players can generally be thrown into one of two categories (with one notable exception who will be discussed later): hitter or pitcher. The MVP award tends to favor hitters since there is already a sort of MVP award for pitchers called the Cy Young Award. However, if a pitcher is having
In any year without Ohtani, Judge would be a unanimous MVP. But before Ohtani came along, we had never seen anyone simul taneously hit and pitch at such a high level. This race really is a toss-up, but I think Aaron Judge should be the 2022 AL MVP. That isn’t a knock on Ohtani at all—I just think Aaron Judge is having such a great year at the plate that it wouldn’t make sense to give the title to anyone else. His season is so rare that we may never see another one like it. As unfair as it seems, Ohtani’s own legendary 2021 season actually diminishes his case for 2022. We saw him do this already, just one year ago, and the sportswriters are not going to give MVP to the same player every year. Nobody can do what Ohtani is doing—he is basically playing two different sports at the same time—but he is neither the best hitter in the league nor the best pitcher in the league. Judge is undoubt edly the best hitter in the league, and, in my opinion, his 2022 season will be remembered as one of the greatest ever. For that reason, I think Judge has to get the MVP, but if Ohtani were to win the award, no one in their right mind would be able to say he didn’t deserve it.
a truly historic season or is so far ahead of the rest of the field in most statistical categories, they can still occasionally take home the MVP award.
Ohtani isn’t just a hitter, he is a pitcher too. He is having an even better season on the mound than he is at the plate. Ohtani is 13-8 with a 2.43 earned run average (ERA), 148 innings pitched (IP) and 196 strikeouts (SO). Judge is clearly a better hitter, but he is just an outfielder, and not even a particularly great one, either. Ohtani, on the other hand, is si multaneously one of the league’s best hitters and best pitchers. Ohtani is doing something that hasn’t been done since 2021 (when he did this exact same thing and won himself the AL MVP). Aside from last year, you have to go all the way back to Babe Ruth to find a player who excelled so much at both pitching and hitting, and even Ruth didn’t do both in the same season the way Ohtani has for the better part of two years now. Ohtani is not having quite the year at the plate that he did last year (.257/.372/.592 with 46 HR), but he is having a significantly better year as a pitch er than he did last year (9-2, 3.18 ERA, 130.1 IP, 156 SO).
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So, it appears we have reached an impasse. How do you choose between someone having a legendary season at the plate and someone who is once again dominating the sport both on the mound and at the plate? One metric used to compare players of any position is wins above replacement (WAR). A player’s total WAR attempts to quantify all aspects of that player (his base running, hitting, field ing, etc.) into one number. That number is supposed to represent how many more wins a team will get by having that player rather than a replacement-level player. For instance, if Player A has a 5.0 WAR, then, theoretically speaking, having Player A on your team will result in your team winning five more games than they would have if you instead had a replacement player at their po sition. It is a metric that is far from perfect, and is even calculated in many different, complicated ways on different websites (I am using Baseball Reference WAR in this arti
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