Misc.09.15.22

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As a first-year college student, I have no prior experience with living in a dorm, unless you count the two weeks I spent at a writing camp at an unnamed college in North Carolina. Other than the roommate I had there, who only showered once in that two week period, I didn’t have any experience living in close quarters with a complete stranger. Naturally, given that incident, I was quite nervous to receive my first Vassar roommate assignment.

phone numbers.” If students have a chosen name they’d like to submit, the Registrar is responsible for enacting that change. The list goes on. It’s a mountain of tasks, but Anderson has steadfast confidence in her crew. “We have a wonderful team with a wealth of experience and knowledge.”

Last April, Campus Activities announced that esteemed actor Meryl Streep ’71 will receive the Distinguished Achievement Award granted by the Alumnae/i Associa tion of Vassar College (AAVC). However, on April 19, 2022, Vassar announced the post ponement of the ceremony; Streep was un able to attend the event due to pneumonia. At the time, the College did not elaborate on the exact rescheduled date.

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Tucked away on the first floor of Main’s North Wing, below a festive string of bal loons, is the team responsible for maintain ing every student’s academic record–past and present. This is the primary responsi bility of the Registrar and the Registrar’s office. They also administer class registra tion, oversee the add/drop period, manage classroom schedules, issue di plomas and handle transcripts. Anderson adds: “There’s a lot of small things, that have to do more with the student information sys tem, so like changing address[es], changing

Aweek after a first and second place fin ish for the men’s and women’s cross country teams at the Vassar Season Starter, the teams did one better. This past Sunday, Sept. 11, both the men and women won the Ron Stonitsch Invitational at the Vassar Farm.

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When I opened that fateful email in late July, I was shocked to find out that I would have not one, not two, but three room mates. I had mentally prepared myself for the worst-case scenario: a tiny room with only enough space for two bunk beds and a weird roommate who kept bugs as pets and never washed their clothes. But I nev er thought that I would end up living with threeDespitestrangers.myinitial fears, my roommates and I all get along quite well! We have pret ty compatible schedules and are respectful of each others’ space. While living in a sin gle room with three other people has been surprisingly smooth, I was not prepared for my new reality: communal bath rooms.

Vassar welcomes new Registrar

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When people think of Vassar’s new est faces, they think of first-years. Chock-full of palpable insecurity, bursting with excitement, elbow-deep in the Deece’s ice cream freezer. Lost in this sea of unfa miliar faces, however, are our newest fac ulty and staff. The people arriving on their first day of a new job. One such recent ar rival is Angela Anderson, Vassar’s newest Registrar. Despite her office’s active role in registration, many students are wholly un aware of exactly what the Registrar does. To assist the curious (or clueless) student, I talked with Anderson herself, to receive an overview of the services the office provides, and to learn more about one of our newest staff additions.

Vassar rounded out the top three with Simon LaClair ’24 and Noni Pattington ’25 finishing third in their respectives races. The result marks LaClair’s second podium finish in as many events, while Pattington reached the podium for the first time this season after a seventh place finish in the season’s first event.

On Tuesday, Sept. 13, 2022, students who secured a lottery ticket for the event last se mester received an email from the AAVC confirming that Streep would be coming to accept the award on Thursday, Oct. 13, 2022. The email communication offered these stu dents the opportunity to reclaim their seats for the Presidentceremony.ofVassar College Elizabeth Brad ley commented, “The award is presented to alums who have reached the highest level in their field, while using their position to better the human community and serve the wider goals of society. Meryl most certainly fits the bill. We are thrilled to welcome her to campus.”TheCollege has yet to officially announce the rescheduled ceremony or provide specific details regarding the next ticket lottery.

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er,” she said.

Anderson arrived for her first day at Vas sar on Aug. 1, with a long resume stretch ing coast to coast. Born in Kansas, Ander son attended college in her home state and then moved to Colorado with her husband, serving as Registrar, Assistant Dean and briefly as Director of Human Resources at Northeastern Junior College. After 20 years in Colorado, she moved to Washing ton, and a few years later, to Connecticut, serving as Registrar at Eastern Washington University and the University of St. Joseph, respectively.Heranswer to the “why Vassar” question: “This is a special place ... [T]hat I could join the team was just exciting to me.” After working at a two-year college, a large D1 university and a private Catholic universi ty, Anderson is excited to be immersed in liberal arts and back in a position where she interacts more directly with students, not just policy and procedure. Her expe rience at the larger Eastern Washington University helped her discover her prefer ence for smaller schools. With Vassar’s en See Registrar on page 7

Leila Raines, Nina Ajemian Editor-in-Chief, Managing Editor

Students currently abroad in the United Kingdom reflect on the recent death of Queen Elizabeth II.

Miles Takiguchi ’23 won the men’s six kilometer race by over 30 seconds.

“I was pretty stoked to win my first ever collegiate race, especially with it be ing on Vassar’s home course,” Takiguchi said. “As I crossed the finish line over 100 meters ahead of second place, I thought, okay, so this is what it feels like.’ I’d previ ously finished second a total of six times and have had my eyes set on an individual victory for a while.”

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For both runners, their victories were improvements on already impressive showings at the Stonitsch Invitational last year, when Takiguchi placed fourth and Stockman finished seventh. Sunday was also both athletes’ first individual event victory as Brewers, both having earned as high as a second place finish at least once in their career. Takiguchi was only 10 days removed from a second place finish at the Vassar Season Starter in the four kilometer race.

Vassar College’s student newspaper of record since 1866

Photo courtesy of Dick Thomas Johnson via Wikimedia Commons.

Luke Jenkins Guest Reporter

Jordan Alch Guest Reporter

Cross country sweeps invitational

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Stockman and Pattington’s podium ap pearances were complemented by Clara Wiesler ’24 in sixth, Anna Kaigle ’25 in 10th and Lily Shimpach ’25 in 22nd out of 92 competitors. The five finishes com

Meryl Streep will visit campus to accept the Distinguished Achievement Award in October

He attributed his improvement to re cent changes in his training regimen. “I’d previously upped my peak mileage to 120 miles per week and have been doing ev erything I can to become the greatest run ner I can be,” Takiguchi explained.

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Augusta Stockman ’23 won the wom en’s five kilometer race by almost 10 sec onds.Stockman reflected on her victory as a senior making the most of her last sea son.“It’s a bittersweet combination of some things coming to a close—wearing the white senior jersey, knowing I only have one more race at the farm—but also still being at the start of this season and look ing ahead to all we can accomplish togeth

Students who studied abroad last semester reflect on their experiences and awayadventuresfromhome.

Student braves dorm bathroom

The Miscellany News is not responsible for the views presented within its Opinions pages. Staff editorials are the only articles that reflect the opinion of a two-thirds majority of the Editorial Board. CORRECTION POLICY The Miscellany News will only accept corrections for any misquotes, misrepresentations or factual errors for an article within the semester it is printed. COPYREPORTERS,DESIGNWEBMASTERSVIDEOGRAPHICASSISTANTCOPYDESIGNSOCIALSPORTSASSISTANTHUMORASSISTANTOPINIONSFEATURESARTSNEWSCONTRIBUTINGSENIORMANAGINGEDITOR-IN-CHIEFEDITOREDITOREDITORSEDITORSEDITOREDITOREDITOROPINIONSEDITOREDITORHUMOREDITOREDITORMEDIAEDITOREDITOREDITORSCOPYEDITORARTISTSPRODUCTIONMANAGERSTAFFCOLUMNISTSSTAFF

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MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

Leila Raines NIna Ajemian Monika

Graphic courtesy of Sandro Luis Lorenzo ’24.

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He added, “These businesses were selected from among many others based on feed back from members of the Vassar and Ar lington communities and their fresh, con temporary energy.”

The diversity in food options provides an uplifting beat after the campus community lost staples such as BurgerFi, Julie’s Restau

Photos courtesy of Vassar College via Flickr.

rant and Tomato Cafe. “So far I’ve mainly been going to Delta Pi (though Bluestone has been on the bucket list),” wrote Barnett. “I’m a firm believer in the chicken gyro (but definitely build your own and add lettuce!). The food has that really comforting home

peal to students, who will be able to even tually use their Arlington Bucks at the new locations, according to Wesley Eugene Dixon, Special Assistant to the President and Secretary to the Board of Trustees. He commented, “We are excited about these new businesses coming to the Arlington area as they are local businesses run by lo cal residents with a track record of success.”

made quality and the portions to price ratio is phenomenal.”Barnettadded, “I think it’s great that new businesses are opening in Poughkeep sie and when Bagel World opens, you can guarantee I’ll be there.”

New restaurants bring spark to Arlington community

Jacques Abou-rizk, Will Sorge News Editors

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MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

With the fall semester in full stride, students are beginning to enjoy the new restaurants and businesses in the Ar lington area, including Delta Pi, Bluestone Kitchen + Bar and Bagel World.

Many of these new store owners are grateful to be located so close to Vassar Col lege and hope students stop in to try out their food. “When it came to opening up a restaurant next to Vassar, we saw it as a great opportunity to really show off our talents,” said William Perry, the owner and general manager of Bluestone Kitchen + Bar. “The student body as well as the faculty are very diverse, which allowed us to design our menus and the physical space in a way that is not only approachable, but also a lit tleIlaeclectic.”Kumar ’25 said she is enjoying the new food options for students off campus. “I do like the new places, but I think we need a place that’s a coffee shop during the day, to give Crafted some competition, and then a bar at night—like what The Mug used to be.” Kumar also expressed interest in Ba gel World, which is set to open by the end of September. Vice President of the Bagel World chain Kevin Cashman said, “We are going to offer the students great bagels as well as an extensive menu from egg sand wiches, omelets, wraps, salads and much more.”Julia Barnett ’24 said she’s looking for ward to becoming a regular at the new restaurants. “I think we’ve really rounded out the different cuisines around our cam pus! I’ve definitely had that hankering for Greek before, and now that’s solved. I also think having a slightly more upscale place like Bluestone will be really nice for special occasions.”Thesenew businesses will hopefully ap

Monika Sweeney/The Miscellany News.

Marcus D’Agostino ’23 said he is happy to have a more upbeat vibe off campus to grab a bite to eat. “A more refined establishment, Bluestone fills a gap between the dive bar of the Juliet and the price gouging of Savon nas,” he expressed. “Their menu is fairly basic, but well-prepared. The staff is polite and professional, and it’s a great place for a fewPerrydrinks.”added that, so far, business at Blue stone Kitchen + Bar has been successful in a number of ways. “Being that we are a restaurant, the financial aspect can be a bit daunting. However, we’ve met a lot of real ly great local people who have adopted us as their go-to spot. Thanks to those custom ers, and word of mouth, we’ve also seen a good amount of fresh faces, which is always exciting.”Dixonshares the feeling with Perry. He expressed, “At the College, we are excited to support business growth in Arlington and believe these new businesses will be great neighbors and citizens of our local com munity.” Dixon added, “Our hope is that students frequent these businesses that join the other great shops and restaurants along Raymond Avenue in Arlington.”

Courtesy of The Miscellany News.

Tori Kim/The Miscellany News.

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE September 15, 2022NEWSPage 4

poetically, it feels like we were standing on the edge of the folklorian woods and had a choice: to turn and go back or to travel fur ther into the forest of this music. We chose to wander deeper in.”

After the release of “folklore,” Swift cre ated several Spotify playlists, one of which was called, “folklore: the sleepless nights chapter.” The title of this chapter is ex tremely important to the theory that “Mid nights” was planned as the eighth album be cause when Swift announced “Midnights” on her social media at 12 a.m. on Aug. 29, 2022, she framed the album as “Midnights,

“The film has something for everyone: a haunting soundtrack, fascinating use of symbols, excellent actors and the sensation that something is going terribly, terribly wrong when it is far too late.”

person needs help, even if they themselves are caretakers. The film has something for everyone: a haunting soundtrack, fascinat ing use of symbols, excellent actors and the sensation that something is going terribly, terribly wrong when it is far too late. So, if you are interested in a zippy film of 84 min utes that will follow you for weeks and if you happen to have an Amazon Prime sub scription (or even better, a friend who does), watch “Saint Maud.” You won’t regret it.

context, on July 24, 2020, Swift surprise-announced on her social media platforms that she was releasing her eighth studio album, “folklore,” stating, “In isola tion my imagination has run wild and this album is the result. I’ve told these stories to the best of my ability with all the love, wonder, and whimsy they deserve.” A few months later, on Dec. 10, 2022, Swift an nounced her ninth studio album, “ever more,” again on her social media platforms, saying, “To put it plainly, we just couldn’t stop writing songs. To try and put it more

the stories of 13 sleepless nights scattered throughout my life.” This recurring theme of sleepless nights is no coincidence. Ms. Swift is far too intelligent.

It would be difficult to see “Saint Maud” as anything other than a brilliant debut from writer-director Rose Glass. Carefully writ ten, tense scenes that lure the viewer into the world of Maud and the desolate, lonely seaside town that she shares with Amanda contrast brilliantly with the bright lights and carnival sounds of the boardwalk. Glass

10th.For

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Need To Calm Down,” in which she can be seen wearing a pink bikini, a hot pink fur coat and sunglasses. Not just any sunglass es, though—specifically royal-navy blue sunglasses with diamonds lining the top. Could this have been a nod to the album that was supposed to be next? It’s hard to tell, but one thing is for sure: the concept of “Midnights” was planned before “folklore.”

Ulysses Bergel Guest Columnist

MTV VMA afterparty, Swift revealed the first outfit of the “Midnights” era, a royal-navy blue romper with a sweetheart neckline, and silver stars and diamonds descending down the front. This was not the first time that Swifties had seen this color combination, howev er. Previously, in her “Lover” era, Swift released a music video for her single, “You

The beautifully tragic story of ‘Saint Maud’ haunts viewers

God that she must save Amanda’s soul be fore time runs out. Going any further be yond this brief summary would fail to do the movie justice. Instead, watch “Saint Maud” for yourself. It’s worth the effort to see this devastatingly beautiful, albeit trag ic,Firstly,film.

Taylor Swift’s ‘Midnights’ was supposed to be her eighth album

On Aug. 28, 2022, the music industry herself, Taylor Swift, went viral with her announcement at the MTV VMAs of a new album: “Midnights.” Following the news of her tenth studio album, fans of Swift, known as “Swifties,” went tireless ly looking for hidden clues they may have missed in the past weeks from the artist; Swift is known for hiding Easter eggs or fun hints alluding to her “next big thing” in everything she does. However, these clues may have started far earlier than Swifties anticipated, and there’s heavy evidence that “Midnights” was originally supposed to be Swift’s eighth studio album, not her

has managed to make the viewer feel lone ly in a primordial, isolated way that speaks to anyone who has experienced that feeling before.During the same interview, Glass com mented that her first filmmaking experi ences happened during secondary school where she and her friends made short, silly parodies. This style of bright, wry comedy eventually merged with arthouse-style cine ma when she entered film school. That style comes across in the film, with brilliant, beautiful bursts of comedy that make the viewer laugh at the silliness of life before the beginning of tragedy commences.

Morfydd Clark is excellent in the titular role. The same goes for Jennifer Ehle in her role as Amanda. This is a story about Maud and her entanglement with Amanda, making both of them key players in the suc cess of the film. Rose Glass commented in an interview with Vulture that her goal was to make both of them sympathetic charac ters, almost mirrors of one another in the Madonna-whore complex. Once Amanda and Maud begin to bond, their tangled con nection as patient and nurse runs the spec trum of romantic to envious and even mes sianic with Amanda’s reference to Maud as her “savior”

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

Graphic courtesy of Sophia Wood ’23.

“With the abundance of evidence collected by Swifties across the word, there are many theories that ‘Midnights’ was the lost album that got pushed back due to the pandemic.”

Swift’s tendency to jump from era to era and plan years in advance is no joke either. In her 2020 Netflix documentary, “Miss Americana,” Swift said, “I kind of don’t really have the luxury of figuring stuff out because my life is planned, like, in like two years ahead of time. Like literally in two months they’ll come to me with the dates for the next tour.” The following year, in Nov. 2021, on “The Tonight Show with Jim my Fallon,” Swift reiterated that everything was planned far in advance, including her Easter eggs saying, “All I started thinking of was, how do I hint at things? Like how far is too far in advance? Can I hint at some thing three years in advance? Can I even plan things out that far? I think I’m gon na try to do it.” It’s not just the statements that imply that “Midnights” was planned during her “Lover” era—it’s also the Easter eggs that may have been dropped during thisAttime.the2022

Sophia Wood Guest Columnist ARTS

“[The style of bright, wry comedy] comes across in the film, with brilliant, beautiful bursts of comedy that make the viewer laugh at the stillness before the beginning of tragedy commences.”

The debut feature film, “Saint Maud,” from director Rose Glass, follows a lonely and, quite frankly, strange hos pice nurse, Maud (Morfydd Clark) with a bloody, mysterious and traumatic past that has reinvigorated her fervent Catholic faith. Maud has been most recently assigned to Amanda (Jennifer Ehle), a cancer-afflicted dancer and choreographer, who is a firm atheist. The ascetic Maud sees her more he donistic and cynical patient as a sign from

Perhaps the most important piece of these two announcements in the hunt to prove that “Midnights” was supposed to be Swift’s eighth album is that the two sister albums—“folklore” and “evermore”—were not planned in advance. Swift’s acknowl edgement that “folklore” was the result of isolation and “evermore” was an extension of “folklore” proves the albums’ sponta neity. Swift’s further acknowledgement that she has always moved on to the next era after an album release, with “folklore” being the exception, implies that she had something bigger planned beforehand.

With the abundance of evidence col lected by Swifties across the world, there are many theories that “Midnights” was the lost album that got pushed back due to the pandemic. It’s entirely possible that Swifties are just reaching and none of this is true, but it’s also entirely possible that Swift has once again flaunted her talent of crafting hidden clues and surprises for her fans. Perhaps we will never know if “Mid nights” was truly meant to be the eighth album. For now, we’re all just waiting for Oct. 21 to hear the next album from the woman who’s been with us since 2006.

Produced and distributed in Europe by StudioCanal UK, many American view ers probably associate the arthouse-horror blend that “Saint Maud” exemplifies with A24, especially given its well-known re lease of “Midsommar” in 2019, which is also worth a watch for those who enjoyed “Saint Maud.” “Saint Maud” was first released in 2019 at the Toronto International Film Fes tival, but difficulties due to COVID-19 led to its delayed release in Oct., 2020, per Screen daily.“Saint Maud” is a haunting, beautifully tragic and ultimately powerful story of mad ness and faith. It is a reminder that every

September 15, 2022

sung by all the teammates, which made me shed a tear because it plays such an import ant emotional role in the original movie. There’s the presence of Rosie O’Donnell, who played a Rockford Peach in the origi nal and now plays the owner of a gay bar that several of the team members visit. But the biggest connection between them lies inthroughline is the focus on family—both biological and chosen. In the movie, the central relationship is between two sisters who play on the team together, but the whole group becomes a kind of family and supports each other throughout the story. In the series, there are many more explo rations of the families that people both create and are born into. Greta and her best friend Jo are a beautiful testament to the found families that queer people form in the face of rejection. Max’s reconnection with her uncle Bertie, a trans man who’s estranged from Max’s mother, allows her Max to meet someone who can fill a paren tal role in her queer journey and helps her to connect with Rockford’s Black LGBTQ+ community.Theunabashed queerness of the series is the starkest contrast with the film. Many viewers have commented on the delight they experienced when they found out that “A League of Their Own” featured not just one central gay relationship, but many diverse LGBT+ key characters. And while the seriesit doesn’t shy away from the danger the characters face for being them selves, the show also depicts their joyful moments—moments of connection with queer elders, playful friendships, whirl wind first-time romances and liberating dance parties. The series is one of the first I’ve seen that not only acknowledges the

“But, at the end of the day, no rapper has a discography that features such consistent bangers. Pop Smoke makes the same music: It’s consistent and it always goes hard.”

There is a reason for his consistency in sound. While the Brooklyn drill genre existed before Pop Smoke burst onto the scene, he really popularized it. His specif ic sound became associated with the genre as a whole. That allowed him to fall into a lane and consistently produce similar mu sic, according to the Recording Academy.

existence of queer characters in history, but depicts a vast spectrum of experiences within the LGBTQ+ community.

“Many of his most popular songs are ones that buck the trend of aggressive beats and monotone flow.”

‘A League of Their Own’ series is a stellar update to a classic story

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new “A League of Their Own” is a show that does a fantastic job of develop ing multiple characters’ storylines with out ever making the plot feel disjointed. The main character, Carson Shaw (played

Pop Smoke must be mentioned. But first, a brief definition of consistency.

BodeGuestHausmannColumnist ARTS

I’ve said that all his songs sound the same, but that doesn’t paint the full picture. Pop Smoke has worked with prolific producers, such as Rico Beats and 808Melo, who have been instrumental in improving the quali ty of his songs. Additionally, many of his most popular songs are the ones that buck the trend of aggressive beats and slightly monotone flow. But even in those songs that stray away from the blueprint, there’s still the Pop Smoke effect, where his verses sound the same regardless of beat pattern. Songs like “Hello” and “What You Know Bout Love” absolutely sound different from his traditional repertoire, but the moment he gets into the bulk of his rapping, the classic Pop Smoke consistency returns.

team.The

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The film version starts and ends with older versions of the main characters go ing to a reunion for former players in the women’s baseball league. The ending is a famous tearjerker, as the players look at

Who is the greatest rapper of all time?

Ifear I might need to take a break from watching TV for a while—after watching the new Amazon Prime series “A League of Their Own,” the best show I’ve seen in a long time, I’m not sure anything I move on to could ever compare. The show is a complete triumph, and left me frantically googling any confirmationnews of a sec ond season 2. The series is a fictionalized account of the All-American Girls Pro fessional Baseball League, an all-women’s baseball league that was started during World War II when many male players were fighting in World War IIthe war. The show was inspired by the 1992 movie of the same name, and just like in the film, the story focuses on the Rockford Peaches

At this point, you may be thinking that this definition applies to a number of oth er rappers, and you’d be right. Artists like Eminem, Drake, Wayne and Kanye are known for their large discographies that have mass appeal. But there’s one final el ement that pushes Pop Smoke above the rest in terms of consistency: all of his songs sound the same. More specifically, his style of drill rap allows each verse to flow in a similar fashion. Each line follows a repet itive rhythm, ending with an emphasis on the last word. It feels like he’s spitting out the last couple syllables, regardless of the

It’s a question that has dominated the rap community since the ’80s when the popularity of the genre exploded. It’s an interesting question, but not the one we’re here to discuss today. Instead, I want to talk aboutBasharconsistency.Barakah Jackson, popularly known as Pop Smoke, was a rapper from Brooklyn who rose to fame after his debut album “Meet the Woo” released in 2019. His unique voice and hard-hitting beat patterns led him to become one of the most popu lar rappers in the industry. Pop Smoke was the face of the explosion of Brooklyn drill, a genre characterized by aggressive beats. In Feb. 2020, just weeks after releasing his second studio album, Pop Smoke was mur dered during a burglary in Los Angeles. In the following years, his label has released two posthumous records, both of which reached the top of the Billboard Top 200. In any reasonable discussion of consistency,

verse or song. Every Pop Smoke song that you’ll listen to sounds extremely similar to his other songs, yet they all go hard.

Pop Smoke is not the only artist to pro duce one type of music. Many rappers op erate in similar fashion, pumping out the same songs on repeat. But, at the end of the day, no rapper has a discography that fea tures such consistent bangers. Pop Smoke made the same music: it’s consistent and it always goes hard.

According to the Oxford Advanced Learn er’s Dictionary, consistency is defined as “the quality of always behaving in the same way.” That said, there are a couple key points I feel are especially important to point out. The first aspect of true con sistency is volume.n order to be considered prolific and consistent, an artist needs to have a relatively deep discography. Second, and most important, is quality; pump ing out music means nothing if there’s no quality behind it.

“The show also depicts [the characters’] liberatingfirst-timefriendships,queerofmoments—momentsjoyfulconnectionwithelders,playfulwhirlwindromancesanddanceparties.”

Pop Smoke is the most consistent rapper in the game

“The series is one of the first I’ve seen that not only acknowledges the existence of queer characters in history, but depicts a vast spectrum of experiences within the LGBTQ+ community.”

“In the series, Greta and her best friend Jo are a beautiful testament to the found families that queer people form in the face of rejection.”

NaimaColumnistSaini

Photo courtesy of Entertainment Weekly.

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

by the show’s creator Abbi Jacobson) dis covers her sexuality and gains confidence as a baseball player. Greta Gill, her love interest, goes through her own journey as she learns to feel comfortable with her role on the team and grapples with her past. Meanwhile, the rest of their teammates All of the Peaches players are equally compel ling characters, all coming together to . As we watch the Peaches fight for a spot in the League championship., wWe also follow Max Chapman, a talented Black pitch er barred from trying out for the League because of her race. Over the course of the show, Max fights for a chance to play baseball professionally, supports and is supported by her best friend, Clance, and wrestles with the tensions between her mother’s expectations and her own desire for independence and self-expression.

Of course, it’s impossible to talk about the show without talking about the iconic movie that inspired it. While the charac ters are all different, many there are clear moments derive that ta.ke inspiration from the film. There’s the Victory Song

photos of their past selves, whom viewers have just gotten to know over the course of the movie. Unlike in the filmmovie, the series has yet to so far never zooms out to the present to show elderly women looking back on their past glory. Because of this, the show doesn’t feel reminiscent—it feels relevant. Despite the series being set in the 1940s, the characters and their lives are accessible, compelling, and fresh. As a fan of the movie and someone who’s always looking for queer stories in media, I whole heartedly enjoyed this show, and I would definitely recommend it to anyone looking for a new take on a classic story.

Photo courtesy of Luke Jenkins ’26.

After more attempts to pry the door open, break the lock or open the door with a credit card, Safety and Security arrived at the scene. They quickly unlocked the door; however, how exactly they did it remains a mystery. The officers stayed humble and did not divulge their door unlocking secrets to inquiring students.

As the add/drop period comes to a close, Anderson reflects on her first registration period, one that was busy but successful, with just a few snafus. She knows it’s a stressful time for new students. “I just try to reassure people it’ll be fine.” Anderson maintains that if you submit an add/drop request in time, the Registrar promises to honor it. The process might take a day or two, however, because the system only notifies the office of requests the morning after the form submission. “Patience goes a long way.,” she explained.

than balloons that quite literally say “wel come.”

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Cianciotta joked. When she was in the stall, she reported hearing a person walk in, only to walk out a moment later. As the door was working just fine prior to this interruption, her suspicions grew. “There must have been some sort of saboteur––that’s the only explanation,” she added with a Momentslaugh.of hope were soon squashed as the library’s master key was no match for the jammed lock of the bathroom in ques tion. By now, a crowd grew around this cor ner of the library. “The scariest thing about getting trapped in a bathroom was other people’s judgment,” Cianciotta shared.

The Registrar office is one of the first Vassar institutions new students make contact with. In some cases, it can also be the last. Being responsible for managing academic records like transcripts, Ander son emphasizes how that might be some body’s last interaction with the school. “If they have a bad experience getting their transcript, that’s not something you want them to take with them.”

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Its hidden location makes Anderson feel like the conversations are intentional, an act of kindness. And at the end of the day, there’s nothing that says “welcome” more

“You know, some could call it doorgate,”

“As the door was working just fine prior to this interruption, her suspicions grew. “There must have been some sort of saboteur––that’s the only explanation.”

interrupt the quiet, serene atmosphere of the library with disruptive bangs and loud cries for help. “I first tried to whisper-yell… but that obviously didn’t work,” she noted. Luckily, a student heard her pleas for assis tance and notified the front desk.

rollment well under 3,000, she’s exactly where she wants to be.

anatomy. If I could pee out in the open, this never would’ve happened.”

With sweat beading down her forward and a healthy dose of laughter, she eventu ally found humor in the situation and en gaged her boyfriend, Michael Dixon ’23, in a game of Eye Spy. In between rounds, she heard many students passing by talking about the situation. “People were like, ‘I heard about someone getting stuck in the bathroom’...but it was me, I was stuck in the bathroom,” she exclaimed. “My initial thought was [that] this quite literally isn’t possible; I’ve used that bathroom more than once, and the door locks from the in side,” Dixon shared. “It was like someone came up to me and said, ‘Jules locked her self in her car,’” he added.

This past weekend, both the campus and students were flooded––the former with rain and the latter with work. It made for the perfect storm as students flocked to the library to hole up, work on group proj ects and print out readings for the coming week. For one unlucky student, what was supposed to be a relaxed study session with her boyfriend turned into an unforgettable 30-minute ordeal.

mind others of the campus’ nudity policy: “We need to get comfortable with human

MonikaSeniorSweeneyEditor

Jules Cianciotta ’24 spent her Sunday eve ning trapped in the first floor bathroom of the library. After perusing readings for her history class, she left the Collaboration Stu dio to take a trip to the nearest bathroom, just a few steps away from her study nook. Minutes later, she realized the door was stuck. Cianciotta’s initial plan to call for help was short-lived, as she quickly noticed she had left her phone behind with her backpack. At this point, she had to come to terms with the fact that she would need to

Although Cianciotta was only trapped for 30 minutes, after a few rounds of Eye Spy, her sense of time was distorted. “It felt like an eternity,” she shared. For the record, Cianciotta wants the general public to know she did not intend to get trapped in the bathroom, despite jokes made to the contrary. As for how to prevent future sit uations like this, her advice resonates with those who constantly feel the need to re

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

Anderson has no notes on how to im prove the welcome Vassar gave. “Every body’s been super friendly, from stu dents to faculty to staff.” People pop in to introduce themselves at her office, three doors down from the Registrar’s counter.

September 15, 2022

Continued from Registrar on page 1

Photo courtesy of Christina Rooney ’24.

Jules’ journey jammed in the john: Student stuck in bathroom

New registrar welcomes students and staff

in the bathroom. Props to this person, I would never have the confidence to let other people hear my playlists. The per son must have really been going through it because “Rivers and Roads” by the Head and the Heart started blasting throughout the bathroom—a very rude reminder that my family does in fact live in a different state, as the song laments. So whoever this mysterious music player is, I hope you are doing okay. The Metcalf has free appointments.Asidefromthe dishes piled up in the

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

It’s clear that OIS creates a home away from home. Joshua Jatenu ’26, a fellow first-year, went through the pre-orienta tion program with me and now works as an intern for OIS. “How we were treated during the orientation was a huge factor. I knew I was going to work on campus and get money, but I didn’t know there was such a good opportunity at the Office of In ternational Services,” he explained.

The best part of my day is when I open one of the shower stalls and see a large hairball on the floor of the shower—what a wonderful surprise! Personally, I love these extra decorations; they already fit the quirky vibe of the communal bath room. And to the person who uses char coal toothpaste and never washes it out of the sink: please do. This is not your moth er’s bathroom—nobody is going to clean up after you. Also, I hope you know that those charcoal toothpaste products aren’t proven to do anything beneficial for your teeth.Outside of these two regular occur rences, I have plenty of Main Haus (Best Haus!) bathroom stories. Quite possibly my favorite is the one that took place ear ly in the morning last week. I was stand ing at the sink before class brushing my teeth. All of the sudden, a shirtless man stormed into the bathroom on a mission. He turned on the shower and stuck his hand underneath the water.

Communal bathrooms prompt fun, yet questionable, stories

FEATURES

very taken aback by this, but ultimate ly it made a very funny story to tell my friends.”Oneof my other friends stumbled upon a crushed beer bottle in one of the shower stalls on the fifth floor, right before seeing someone leave the bathroom with a very small towel that left little to the imagina tion.Another memorable bathroom experi ence took place during the first week of classes. While in the shower, someone started playing their music very loudly

Page 8

Wu reflected on her first few days on campus and called the international pre-orientation her comfort zone, whereas she viewed the freshman orientation week that followed as stepping out of her com fort zone. Aria Wang ’25, another intern at OIS, laughed and bashfully agreed. “I don’t remember the details about first-year

orientation, only the international orien tation.” This rings true to my own experi ence as well.

“Being yourself is the greatest contribution you can make to the Vassar community. That includes where you come from, what language you speak and any other detail that is integral to you.”

The four days of pre-orientation built a close-knit group and provided many opportunities to bond and make friends. First-year orientation, though warm and welcoming, could be overwhelming and fast-paced at times.

On the morning of Aug. 18, 2022, mem bers of the Office of International Ser vices (OIS) put on their brightest smiles and rallied to meet a group of jetlagged, excited and apprehensive overseas and interna tional students who would soon call Vassar home. Arriving before most of the student body, these students participated in a fourday pre-orientation program filled with everything from standard icebreakers to conversations about identity and culture at college.

As sophomores, Wu and Wang still feel like the international community is their home and safe space. Jatenu hopes that, as an intern, he can continue to capture the attention of other international students and remind them of the family they have here. These sentiments are a testament to the success and necessity of the interna tional pre-orientation program.

YakshaGuestGummadapuColumnist

Sufana

Continued from Bathrooms on page 1

“We want international students to be bowled over with love and joy and wel come,” Director of the Office of Internation al Services Andrew Meade replied, smil ing, when I enquired about the end goal for pre-orientation. This sentiment was at the heart of the program from the start. The program had humble but well-intentioned beginnings way back when it started in the fall of 2005, sending shuttles to the John F. Kennedy International Airport to greet students arriving from overseas.

My first thought was, “Oh, he’s just waiting for the water to heat up before he grabs his stuff to shower,” but oh was I wrong. This man, at an hour so early that it’s possible I imagined this whole event, put his red water bottle up to the showerhead and filled it with shower wa ter—despite the fact that a water fountain is located right outside of the bathroom. He then left, and I never saw him again— though, to be fair, I was so distracted by the fact that this unnamed soul was duti fully staying hydrated with shower water that I was unable to get a good look at his face.One of the girls in my StuFel Group, Katie Lohr ’26, had a similar life-alter ing experience in the Main bathrooms. “I was brushing my teeth in the fourth floor bathroom at around 10 p.m. when some guy walked over to the sink next to me. I don’t look over, but out of the corner of my eye, I see him pouring something over the sink, so I assume it’s mouthwash. It starts smelling very strong, so I look over and this person is pouring Fireball into a flask over the sink, spilling it onto the counter. He turns around and leaves as soon as the flask is full, leaving Fireball all over the sink,” Lohr recalled. “I was

OIS helps international students find a home away from homes

“A lot of what we do is creating commu nity and belonging. It’s a gift to be able to be doing work that is a lot about that,” Meade explained when I asked him why he claims to have the best job on campus. Only a few weeks into my time here at Vassar and my closest friends are those I made sitting in the CCMPR near the OIS offices, so it’s safe to say I agree.

kitchen, the occasional bat in the hall ways and the trash can on the fourth floor with vomit residue on it, I love living in Main! Though I have had my fair share of strange bathroom experiences, they make for fun stories at breakfast with my friends. There is never a dull moment while living in a building with 300 other students. To the people who use the bath rooms in Main, keep doing what you’re doing! Or don’t! I would rather not look at a ball of someone else’s hair while I’m showering.

“Andrew hosts a lot of events with family vibes. He hosts Thanksgiving dinner at his house where all the international students are invited,” fellow OIS intern Summer Wu ’25 shared. Having a place of your own to celebrate when your peers are away is a kindness that international students can truly appreciate–– a kindness that no other office on campus can replicate.

Noorwez/The Miscellany News. September 15, 2022

Meade believes that International Stu dents need to focus on belonging first and integrating second. “If you focus too much on integrating with the host, you lose a sense of identity,” he concluded. This is exactly what OIS strives to avoid. Being yourself is the greatest contribution you can make to the Vassar community. That includes where you come from, what lan guage you speak and any other detail that is integral to you.

“Big Ben loomed over me as I stepped out of the Westminster tube station. Scaf folding blocked off the bottom half of the tower, leaving the clock face peeking out from above. Squinting up into the blindingly blue sky, at once I began to feel both a tourist and a well-seasoned London resident, even just in the two days that I had been there. The sharp January wind numbed my cheeks. Red double-decker buses whizzed by, a steady stream of scarlet to my left. Immersed in a steady stream of pedestrians, the loneliness that had weighed me down since I first stepped off the airplane at Heathrow began to lift from my shoulders. In the following months to come, I would slowly but surely weave myself into the rhythm of this new city, set tling into a new routine and finding out how I could fit myself into this spiderweb of people. This first trip into Central London filled me, for the first time, with opti mism and hope for my time abroad.”

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE Page 9

There’s no way I could possibly cram all five months of my time in Madrid into one short Features blurb, so I won’t try to. Instead, here are a few things I am so grateful for. The indescribable (if I had to try: caring, loud, supportive, fun, smart) group of people I traveled to Madrid with and now call my friends. My host mom and her sun-soaked, plant-filled apartment, five minutes walking distance from Sol. Spanish nightlife (no more commentary needed). Reaching the peak of my Spanish speaking and comprehension skills. The extra suitcase of gifts and clothes and art prints from cute street markets that I brought back to the U.S. Tortilla. Real izing that Spain felt more like home than home did.

Leila Raines/The Miscellany News.

Photo courtesy of Maria Hernandez.

Leila Raines/The Miscellany News.

Nina Ajemian ʼ23 Madrid

Leila Raines/The Miscellany News.

FEATURES

Yes, study abroad is hard. Yes, I cried on the phone to my mom about my inherent lack of direction and failure to navigate public transportation. Yes, living in a coun try where you do not fully speak the language presents a steep learning curve. But it was also such a defining experience in my life and, yes, it is all absolutely worth it.”

Nina Ajemian/The Miscellany News.

Photo courtesy of Ellie Kaplan.

Far and away: Student study abroad stories from this past spring

Leila Raines ʼ23 London

September 15, 2022

“I had wanted to study abroad in Madrid since I went to Spain in seventh grade and saw “Las Meninas” (my favorite painting and now inspiration for my yet-to-be-writ ten thesis) in person at the Prado. That is a lot of time to build anticipation, but my experience living in Spain last spring more than exceeded my expectations.

Breaking News

Due to its wide shape and dense, cur tain-like foliage, for many years, this tree offered privacy and space during the most intimate of acts, earning its name. It didn’t judge. It didn’t critique. It simply provided. Now it has been permanently disfigured, and what was once private is now public. I believe this is the sort of tree problem the Lorax was fighting for; if he had been there with us that night, he would have had some strong words to say about this. In place of said fuzzy orange man, I decided to interview some students on the street who could speak for the tree we so greatly hold dear. The brief interviews that followed touch on feelings of depression, anger, acceptance and every stage of grief in be tween.Iinitially talked to Garrett, who was un

Lastly, our Humor Editor Madi had a hopeful statement on the future of arbo real fornication at Vassar. “It’s an icon of our beautiful campus. It reminds us of the beauty of college life… and I think its re moval is really sad,” Madi expressed. “And I hope a new Sex Tree can grow bountiful

“I don’t think I was ever gonna have sex there, but, just in case, I would like [it] to still be around, just to feel safe” an anony mous student shared.

An Oversized Menace

A Funeral Toll

by Isabel Stowe

over this campus.” That is certainly my hope as well. I see potential in the Class of 1891’s tree in the coming decades. In the meantime, I’ve walked all through campus, from Walker to Jewett, anxiously search ing for a surrogate tree like a lost child in the supermarket, but such attempts have been admittedly fruitless. Trying to find a new sex tree is like spending the night searching for two identical snowflakes. In the middle of June.

Some students were more blunt on the matter. “We need to riot,” an anonymous

It finally rained but now it won’t stop and now we all remember why we complained about the rain.

From the desk of Madi Donat, Humor Editor

On Friday evening, I was saddened to learn some unfortunate news about a certain weeping willow located between Chicago Hall and Raymond House. It was the sort of news that I needed to experience in person, so later that evening, Humor Ed itor Madi and I took a walk over to assess the damage. I was devastated by what I saw. A major branch of this tree had been cut down, exposing the interior. The air was quiet. The tone was somber. This wasn’t just any tree. It was the infamous Sex Tree.

Charles Ladder In Mourning HUMOR

~ Anna Kozloski

aware of the tree’s current condition before our conversation. Staring out at the dam ages, Garrett told me, forlornly, : “It’s kind of sad to see. It’s a landmark… I gotta find a new place to have sex.” Garrett was right. It is a landmark. It’s like the Statue of Lib erty, Eiffel Tower and Lincoln Memorial all rolled into one, with the bonus of being sex-positive.Next,Italked to Ava, who was equal ly distraught by this very serious matter. “Devastating,” Ava told me. “I’m a fresh man, so I don’t know if I have much to say, but [it’s] definitely devastating. I feel like upperclassmen probably really feel it in their hearts.” This was a very accurate as sumption from Ava.

student suggested. As much as I’m in favor of (safely) burning down the entirety of Noyes, I’m not sure if that will prove to be a long-term solution.

Charles Ladder/The Miscellany News.

Across the world hear peal of mourning bells For our belovèd queen has last been felled. Our sex tree! Grief for Vassar’s majesty, Adored by all the classes ever known, Her death a never-ending travesty— Who else could occupy her royal throne? We mourn her crown, her willow leaves of hair; Her side unveiled; her trunk, her branches bare. Her gentle shade provides cover no more For any passing lover on her floor. Still good for sex as any other tree: As long as you don’t care if people see. Long-reigning monarchs two this week have died, Yet for thee only, sex tree, have I cried.

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

There once was a girl from De Bilt Who exclusively traveled by stilt; She’d stride way up high And stomp passers-by Then chortle with no trace of guilt.

Page 10

September 15, 2022

Students outraged over attack on Vassar’s most beloved tree

Jackson is one of those upperclassmen who spoke to us that night with a heavy heart.“It’s a deeply tragic day for all of us—those of us who have had sex in the Sex Tree and those of us who were waiting for the right moment. All of us are deeply, deeply moved,” Jackson told us. In times of rising tuition, brutal droughts and dead queens, you would think one could minimally rely on the protections of a certain sex tree.

July 22

What’s more, there are plenty of scenic destinations where I can while my week

Sometimes we go too hard. Sometimes we love too much, and it doesn’t work out. Like my pants, which I’ve had tailored four times, or my sneakers that I wore until they smelled so bad I was sure an animal had died in my dorm. If you love some thing too much for its own good, recognize it, but own it. Maybe get some baking soda for it, though.

I should know—I’m doing it right now. This column reaches you from faraway Japan, where I now sit in a faraway chair at a faraway desk sweating bullets think ing about faraway homework and about what I’m going to make myself for faraway dinner. As it happens, moving to a com pletely unfamiliar country and attempting to manage life there can be just a little bit stressful.Letme give you an example: Three years ago, the only words I knew in Japanese were “yes,” “no” and, thanks to anime, “good f****n’ grief.” I have indeed had am ple opportunity to deploy that entire wide

HOROSCOPES

AQUARIUS January 20 | February 18

ends away. Because most tourists still aren’t allowed to enter the country, I can ensure that there is only one bumbling for eign fool at each of the places I visit: myself. Granted, I am capable of causing enough confusion and destruction to make up for the absence of herds of Texan business men, but at least I don’t have to put up with tourist nonsense.

This week, thoughts rattle around your head like they are beads and your head is a maraca. There are lots of benefits to this: Firstly, you get to make music with your thoughts. Secondly, you get to scare everyone away with how loud your thoughts are and have some time to yourself. It’s like when you see a mariachi band get on the sub way: Run.

GEMINI May 21 |

Been getting really into interior design lately. This is a week of misplaced energy, so rearrange your room at 2 a.m. if you want. Figure out where all the plugs are, and meticulously lay out your power strips so as to give yourself the most stream lined electricity. The space you live in is very im portant and is worth much more than that tapes try you keep reusing.

June 20

I keep getting distracted this week. Not even by interesting things; I have a ring that I forgot I owned, and it is SO shiny. It will be my scapegoat for every missed assignment for the foreseeable future. You should find scapegoats this week, too. Maybe the Deece food made your tummy hurt, or maybe there is an evil energy by the lake.

SAGITTARIUS November 22 | December 21

This could be a week to analyze big changes in your life and check if you’re headed in a good direc tion. Like, for example, if you are in a lot of great classes and feel fulfilled, that’s a good sign. If beasts keep spawning in your room and following you into your dreams though, that’s something you might want to get checked out.

Homesickness can be for any home. I’m home sick for the concept of a good night’s sleep! Figure out what you long for this week, and try to recreate it. Want your mom’s cooking? Actually, you can’t have that here. A walk around your hometown? Okay, not that either. Want that feeling of child hood peace and quiet? Well, I hate to break it to you…

In the end, the real danger here is that I’ll get so caught up in the stress of daily life that

I’ll forget about enjoying the things Japan offers. I might get into the country’s home grown arts of relaxation, like meditation, the tea ceremony and getting hammered off cheap beer with a dozen strangers while singing “Baka Mitai” on repeat. In the end, while I might be tearing my hair out right now, I’m also making memories that will last for the rest of my life. And if all else fails, I can just remember the famous Japa nese proverb: “Good f*****n’ grief.”

Page 11

HUMOR

Alyssa Willeford 15-Hour Time Traveler

LEO July 23 August|22

Madi Donat Astral Projector

But Japan is also a place of wonderful opportunity. For example, if I visited the nearest 7-Eleven, I could, if I so chose, assemble an entire meal out of nothing but “Splatoon”-themed products, which I definitely have not done in real life. Also, I have the chance to enjoy the fact that everything—from the subway system to the police department to the university library—has an anime mascot with a full name, blood type and body measurements. And Firefighter-chan is pretty cute.

If you’ve been hankering to consume infor mation recently, ride that wave! Get all of your readings done for the next two weeks if you can! Why not! Do that learning that you are alleged ly here to do! Yesterday, I read about medieval clausulae. On purpose. Granted, it was to help me fall asleep, but I did still learn something.

Photo courtesy of Alyssa Willeford ’23.

The intense and harrowing study abroad scramble

May 20

range of vocabulary while studying here, it’s true. But the demands of daily life also require me to use concepts I studied at Vas sar, and that has proven to be far more problematic.Thethingis, whenever I open my mouth to say anything—“excuse me,” for instance, or “sorry” or “I am a stupid American, so please just run me over with your car”—all of my language study immediately deserts me. I speak Japanese like a two-year-old, only I’m an overgrown, ugly, strange-look ing two-year-old who struggles to com plete even the simplest of tasks. You know things are tough for you when you fit the description of a Teletubby.

This week, ask yourself, “What’s the worst that could happen?” And then, and this is crucial, DON’T ANSWER THAT. We say this to ourselves for strength and energy, not for anxiously wallow ing in all the ways that a lightning bolt could strike us in the middle of a sunny day. So don’t fret. Pre tend you’re as confident as a dude in a Star War.

VIRGO August 23 September| 22

TAURUS April 20 |

If you’ve forgotten to do something or you’re worried something is going to be late, just do it now. Better late than never! Cramming isn’t al ways the answer, but I am surprised at how often it works. Plus, professional people cram all the time. Call up any congressperson, and I’m sure they’re behind on some report somewhere. If not, don’t worry. You’re cooler than them.

Have you ever wondered whether you could abandon the daily Vassar grind, just chuck it all out and start again in some faraway land? Have you ever wanted to try new foods, see new things and meet new people? Have you ever wanted to lead life in a new language and get used to a new culture you barely have any experience with? Have you ever wanted to stick your hand into a blender? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then studying abroad might be right for you.

September 15, 2022

CAPRICORN December 22 | January 19

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

ARIES March 21 | April 19

If you feel both impulsive and stuck this week, welcome to the club. Play some games to get your energy out, or do some light mischief to fulfill your need to mess around. Dance in the rain if you want to get poetic and Pinterest-y about it. Or you could just decide to wake up super early one day all for the sweet feeling of an 11 a.m. nap.

CANCER June 21 |

Sometimes, silence is helpful. It is a way to say, “I am thinking about what you said,” or, “I am letting YOU think about what you said” or maybe simply, “This email is going to sit in my inbox for a month for absolutely no reason other than the fact that I don’t have the bandwidth to type out three coher ent sentences right now.” Use it well.

SCORPIO October 23 | November 21

Try new things this week. experiment with fashion in the coming days. Wear monochro matic looks, or pair things you didn’t think would go together. The worst thing somebody can say to you is nothing, and the best thing somebody can say to you is “I love your pants!” as shouted from a fourth-floor Strong window.

PISCES February 19 | March 20

LIBRA September 23 | October 22

Page 12 MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

3. Swift Hall

4. New England

Leila Raines/The Miscellany News.

8. Sanders Physics

6. Old Observatory

To be honest, my film and drama friends, I never know what to call your building. Is it the CDF? Is it Vogelstein? Once I heard some one call it The Vog. I am so confused. What ever. It’s nice in there. The stairs are weird, but they remind me of the split-level archi tecture of my aunt’s house, so it’s kind of nos talgic, and I don’t really mind. And it’s dark! I know it’s supposed to be dark in some parts, but not all of them. The elephant in the lob by is a comforting welcome, but the Vassar Confessions stories of people who have had sex there have tainted that for me. Plus, film majors are kind of scary by default. How do

dollars in tuition!

Madi Donat/The Miscellany News.

I hope you feel it is as home-y as I do, and I hope it doesn’t give you the same existential dread that doing homework in your real-life living room did two years ago.

1. The Bridge

September 15, 2022

Did I put Taylor and Swift next to each oth er for the laughs? Yes. Do I still think Swift is one of the homiest buildings on campus? Also yes! While I’ve never had a class in Swift, my exploration of the building has led me to believe that it feels like a little friendly house where you get to sit in the living room and do class. And, in the end, isn’t that all that any of us really want? It’s all of our child hood homeschool dreams come true, except that now we all kind of know what it’s like to be homeschooled, and, boy, is it not the fun time we thought it was. But its staircase is so pretty, and the two porches off to either side are where I had many a Fall-2020 dinner with my friends. It’s also set back from cam pus a little, and that stretch between Main and Blodgett always makes me feel safe and reminds me why people say this campus is one of the prettiest in the country (not to brag, or whatever). If you get to go to class es in Swift often, consider yourself lucky!!

Sanders Physics is REALLY NICE. It’s only this far down because physics. I’m mad that you guys get all the nice furniture and cute study spaces and a full kitchen that I definite ly didn’t borrow a loaf pan from one time two years ago and anyway even if I did it’s probably past the statute of limitations and plus I put it back so. I did some stuff for firstyear orientation in Sanders Physics, and I remember how nice the air conditioner was. Do NOT take your air conditioner for grant ed, folks! Maybe it’s just pure jealousy that has me placing it down this low; goodness knows the music majors don’t get a Keurig. We don’t even get a lounge. There’s a table on the fourth floor (again, no elevator), but there aren’t any chairs next to it so you just have to sit on the windowsill. It’s just a sad lamp in a corner. There I go again talking about Skinner when I should be talking about another building. Sue me. You’re smart though, physics folks. You know what you did.

2. Taylor Hall

Inever rest. I rank things in my sleep. I am plagued with visions of Clickhole and Buzzfeed, listicle fairies dancing around my head incessantly. There is no cure, except to share my psyche with the rest of you. So, here it is: ranking all of the Vassar classroom buildings, part one. This is my Mockingjay. Keep in mind that these are the TOP NINE of 18 total classroom buildings. Next week comes the worst. Maybe you will see your de partment’s building here. Maybe you won’t. That’s the joy of these, isn’t it? The suspense.

The newly renovated buildings look a lit tle too perfect. The last time I went into New England was over the summer, and I had to do some reading and needed a classroom to use. I was able to buzz into one of the lec ture halls. It. Was. AWESOME. You guys get some sick views! I was tempted to take a picture, but the glare from the windows was too much. Either way, it’s lovely in there. The ceilings are high, the staircase is wide and not too steep and, of course, it’s one of the few interiors that was featured in the notvery-well-reviewed 2002 film adaptation of H.G. Wells’s “The Time Machine.” So that’s something. The basement is kind of weird, but even so it gets pretty good light. Even if the glass door is confusing and scary to me. I feel like if I get my handprints on it they are going to come and collect me and do cogni tive science on me as punishment. Anyway, I hope all you New England-ers appreciate the beauty of your perfect little building. Go Pats!

has no elevator. (As a spokesperson for the Vassar College Music Department, I must admit that we are ACTIVELY WORKING ON MAKING THAT NOT THE CASE ANY MORE. But now there are just guys there all the time with their machines, and that’s not great either!) Two, somewhat related to one: the stairs. My God, the stairs. I feel like my concept of what it is like to exist on this campus is severely skewed by the fact that on any given day I am going up and down the Skinner stairs at least twice. That does some THINGS to you (your calves, my calves). Three: It’s far. Yeah, it’s true. If you’re not used to the trek, it can be a little daunting. Once you’re a seasoned pro, though, you’ll put your earbuds in, turn on some Arvo Pärt, black out and then you’ll be there before you know it. It’s all about the learning process.

One of the first ever classroom buildings on this campus, and definitely one of the prettiest! I absolutely love going up the beau tiful front steps and sitting in the adorable li brary in the dome. It’s a little cramped, espe cially considering how huge our Education Department is (I think?). Mostly, it’s down this low because I can’t use it for what I really want to: Look at the STARS! I appreciate the conversion to a children’s library as the child of a children’s librarian, but I still think we should be able to use it as a little telly scope. Let me see the stars!! Blah, blah, light pollu tion, historical building; I don’t care. The Old Observatory makes me feel safe, but it would make me feel safer if I knew that it was being used for the original purpose it was intended for. Education students, I admire your major so much because I know I could never do it. I only wish that you could read about income inequality and learning methods in a build ing that could also show me all the planets.

7. CDF

I don’t think I’ve been to a single building ever in the entire world that has the vibes of the Bridge for Laboratory Sciences. Bright, clean, air-conditioned: It is everything a girl like me could want. And I’m not even a STEM major! I walk through the Bridge almost ev ery single day, and its calming energy wraps around me in a beautiful, eco-friendly hug. Some have levied Bridge complaints, and I will hear them: It cuts right across the Kill in a way which disrupts the natural beauty of that corner of campus. It blocks the view of some things, too. My friend says that it hums an annoying hum, but I can’t hear it, which makes me more concerned for the health of my ears than anything else. But after hear ing stories of the Mudd Chemistry Building, I feel like we are living in paradise. Next time you are in the Bridge, kneel down and thank the gods for bringing you to such a perfect bastion of Liberal Arts-ism. Then, try not to make too much noise, jeez; people are trying to WORK in here!

5. Skinner

you have so much time in a day to watch a movie for every class you’re in? Sounds like you know how to time travel. But, I’ll be fair, that’s not nearly enough to bump it down so far. So if you’re really interested in why The Vog is so far down on this list, email me and I’ll give you a top-secret story about a capital-I Incident that has ruined my perception of the Martel Theater and its environs forever.

Ranking all of the classroom buildings: Part 1

Taylor Hall can only be described as a slay. When Taylor Hall was built however many years ago, the architects knew that one day, someone would come up with the perfect word to describe it, but that word hadn’t been invented yet. Now it has. Taylor has ev erything, if the only things you want are lifesize replicas of old pieces of art and a giant red head staring at you ominously as you try to do your work. The best days of my pre-pan demic life were spent in the dimly-lit heaven that is the 105/106 screening room, jotting down notes at a breakneck speed while try ing not to go blind from the specific angle of the weird light of the person in the row in front of me. And, sure, I’ve slipped and fall en many feet down those ramps before. But it doesn’t even matter because I know that Taylor has my best interests in mind. It’s like a mysterious castle that I get to hang out in for the low low price of tens of thousands of

MadiListiculatorDonat HUMOR

In my heart, in my soul, etched into my very bones, Skinner is number one. OF COURSE! I am blinded by its Steinways and its friendly faces. When I die, they will melt me down and pour me into the piano lift of the Recital Hall—I’ve already signed the con tract. But I do need to exercise some objec tivity here, and facts are facts. One: Skinner

9. Rocky You just barely made it into the top half of this list! Rocky has some things going for it: It is iconic, it is very close if you live on the quad and, of course, the Philosophy Lounge cannot be understated. It is swank in there. But I need to be honest with all of you Rockyheads: It is simply too many stairs. How am I supposed to survive in these conditions? Also, I’ve always found it too symmetrical inside. I get confused. I’m already direction ally challenged as it is; you’re telling me you could put a mirror up in the middle of the hallway and it would look exactly the same no matter which way I’m walking? That sounds like a prank to trick Madi spe cifically. Don’t like it. Also, I think it’s too overpopulated. Rocky is meant for watching movies with your friends at midnight in a way which may or may not be approved by campus activities, not for real classes with real stakes. You’re telling me my math class is in the dorms from “The Sex Lives of Col lege Girls”? I won’t stand for it.

The opinions expressed above do not represent those of The Miscellany News as a whole. MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

As a person, Queen Elizabeth II was a meaningful, poised leader who instilled a sense of calm through political and social turmoil in the United Kingdom and world wide. As an American, I remember her steadfast reign amongst chaotic election cycles and hearing about how she broke a three-hundred year tradition to play the U.S. national anthem at Buckingham Pal ace on Sept. 11, 2001. As a Brit, I remember her kindhearted Christmas speeches, her words of encouragement during the early weeks of the COVID-19 pandemic, her sub tle humor and her unabiding love for her corgis. For 70 years, the country has relied on her for a sense of stability, and everyone in the United Kingdom is feeling the shock of her loss.

Student witnesses the impact of the Queen’s death while abroad

On Sept. 8, 2022, Buckingham Palace announced that Queen Elizabeth II had died at Balmoral Castle. As a citizen of both the United States and the United King dom currently studying abroad at the Uni versity of St Andrews in Scotland, it has been interesting to view her death from both an American and British perspective. I have been touched by the outpouring of grief and celebration of the Queen’s life here in the United Kingdom, which is a very different reaction to the news than I have seen coming from the United States. Within minutes of the announcement, my social media feed blew up with Amer icans’ elation at the news. Twitter users generated hundreds of viral memes, and people edited audio clips of the BBC an nouncement with a 2012 Youtube-esque “outro.” At the same time, the United King dom entered a national state of mourning. Flags were lowered to half-mast. Every event at my university was canceled. Grief counseling became available for students, we were excused from classes, and we were given the option to sign a condolence book that would be sent to the Royal Family. It is undeniable that this past week has been a powerful moment in history for the United Kingdom.Hereiswhy I understand both responses as justified. There is no question that the British monarchy has perpetrated count less morally corrupt actions and that it rep resents a long history of colonialism and genocide of Indigenous peoples. The death of the Queen incited celebration from both Americans and other formerly colonized nations, and rightfully so. While I am not defending the existence of the monarchy,

September 15, 2022

I can only hope that as Americans, during this important moment in time, we can understand the multi-dimensional nature of this shift in leadership. It is pos sible to denounce the horrific violence of a nation while also considering the cultural experience of so many citizens of the Unit ed Kingdom who have never lived under any other monarch’s rule. We can extend cultural empathy whilst condemning a na tion’s long history of racism, exploitation, and colonial greed. There exists nuance in this situation that I was only able to come to terms with by standing on British soil as I watched an entire nation grieve for a be loved leader who has truly united the coun try under her long and influential rule.

Catherine Borthwick Guest Columnist

Page 13

OPINIONS

Photos courtesy of Igor Martiniouk ’24.

misc@vassar.edu

Courtesy of The Miscellany News.

or trying to overlook its inexcusable ac tions, I do believe that British people have the right to mourn the long life of a stoic and culturally significant figurehead, de spite the heinous crimes committed by the institution she commanded.

I would be remiss to not mention Coffee and Sweets. In one of the most radical and phenomenal moves by the dining staff this year, the coffee provider switched to Chris’ Coffee. As an avid coffee drinker, I am ab solutely delighted by this switch because the quality of the coffee is much better than that of the previous provider. I now look forward to my morning cup enthusiastical ly. Also remarkable is the addition of iced coffee to the daily menu. As much as I love a good hot cup of coffee, in the late sum mer heat, there is nothing more refreshing than some strong iced coffee with a splash

Beyond just the menu options available at Gordon Commons, the entire dining expe rience has new dimensions this year. For the first time, we have an Administrative Fel low of Campus Activities and Dining, Eric Feeney ’22, who is a Vassar alumnus him self. He works in conjunction with Maches ka, the Associate Dean of the College for Campus Activities, in dining matters. This is a great indicator that the dining providers at this school are listening to student input. Additionally, the bi-weekly dining commu nications delivered directly to our inboxes have been a wonderful way to receive news and updates, as well as announcements about exciting dining-related events such as chocolate tastings, a biscotti sampling and a guacamole dip bar.

upgrade to the dining operation this year is the commitment by the Deece to integrate student-submitted recipes into the menus. The first of these was a Ukrainian-themed meal on Wednesday, Sept. 7, and the endless creativity of the Vassar student body prom ises more delicious dishes in the future. The vegan and vegetarian station, Root, has also been serving great quality food as of late, including some stellar recipes such as the tofu tikka masala on Monday, Sept. 12. As a person of South Asian descent, the pros pect of such a dish may spark suspicion at first, due to the relatively non-traditional pairing of tofu and tikka masala. However, the dish was satisfying, aromatic and one of the highlights of dining in the past few days. Kosher has remained reliably good since I started school here, and that has remained unchanged in the first few weeks of this se mester. I am not a frequenter of Grill, and the options seem to have stayed much the same, but it always serves as a good option when one is craving simple and classic food.

OPINONS

The recent Late Night options have also been remarkably more diverse than last year, with Greek turkey burgers and loaded tater

Throughout my two years of dining at Gordon Commons, affectionately known as the Deece, I have experienced a wide range of both options and quality of food, beginning with lackluster take-out options during the height of the COVID-19 pandem ic and during the transition back to in-per son dining in the 2021-2022 school year. However, none of those eras of Deece dining have measured up to the food choices pro vided to us in these first three weeks of this new semester. Not only has the variety of culinary options expanded, but the quality of the food served at the Deece has improved remarkably, thanks to the hard work and dedication of a team of administrators, chefs, kitchen staff and various others inte gral to the smooth operation of the facility.

Photo courtesy of Peter Nydam ’24.

Overall, the dining experience provided at Vassar has seen significant improvement over the past two years. Far from the days of take-out boxes and socially-distanced meals, we have now entered a new, prom ising era of Deece dining, one with better quality food, more consideration for stu dent voices and a wider variety of dining experiences.

New school year brings expanded dining choices, better quality food

Dining is undoubtedly an important factor in the life of a college student. A good meal can often set the tone for the day between the rush of classes, practices, re hearsals and other extracurricular activities that most college students are involved in.

Beginning with what I consider to be the star of the show at the Deece: The Global Kitchen. Recently, there has been a con siderable change in the functioning of this pillar of student dining experience. First, instead of rotating the menu at Global every two weeks, it now rotates every week. This allows us to experience a wider variety of cuisines, including new showstoppers such as the bibimbap bowl: a perfect blend of white rice, vegetable options, a protein and the sheer unparalleled joy of a fried egg on top. While the shift from two-week to oneweek rotations at Global does allow us to diversify our culinary palate, it also comes with the unfortunate drawback of only be ing able to enjoy your absolute favorites for a week. Last year, one could reliably count on having a stir-fry bowl at every meal for two weeks straight, but this year the experiences pass by much faster. All in all, the increased diversity in Global’s options and quality is a heightened experience from previous years. There have been considerable improve ments in the other stations at the Deece as well. Oasis, which excludes the nine major allergens found in food, in addition to glu ten and sesame, has been reliably good this year, with interesting and innovative bowls with a variety of protein choices. Home has also been excellent in quality and es pecially inventive of late. One remarkable

of almond milk and agave syrup. Not only does Chris’ Coffee boast a long history of producing organic and kosher coffee, per the dining email sent by Associate Dean Dennis Macheska, but the flavor and aroma of the coffee are a great improvement from the previous provider. Sweets has remained consistent throughout my time here, with some stellar standouts such as the spice cake with cream cheese frosting (reminiscent of chomping into a fall candle in all the best ways), the mini cheesecakes and the lemon bars. Some past menu items at Sweets that I hope to see again are the variety of fruit crumbles and apple pies, especially in these fall

Sufana Noorwez/The Miscellany News.

tots, though I still eagerly await the trium phant return of the elusive mozzarella stick. I am also not a regular at Pressed, but the op tions for sandwich ingredients seem much more diverse and interesting now than in the past. Finally, the salad bar, The Farmer’s Table, has integrated a variety of new salad components, including red onions, tuna, chopped boiled eggs and an assortment of new dressings. The pre-mixed salads have also had new and exciting flavors, and the station is always a safe fallback when one is looking for green and healthy options.

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE September 15, 2022

Finally,months.the dining options outside of Gor don Commons (Retreat, Express, the Bridge Cafe and Street Eats) have also had some minor changes to their operations. While not much has changed in terms of the food served at these locations, there is expand ed and improved access to these options, including three swipes at Retreat instead of two, and Retreat also being open on the weekends instead of Express, which makes it much easier to grab food on the go.

Page 14

Sufana Noorwez Assistant Opinions Editor

bined earned the Brewers 41 points, five better than second-place NYU. Seven oth er Brewers finished the race, all in the top three quarters of the rankings.

“This first race has set the tone for what we are capable of and what we expect of our selves. It’s still early in the season and we’ve got to stay focused and stay hungry. But there’s not a doubt in my mind that we’ve got what it takes.”

The Vassar women’s golf team opened its season at the Hamilton Fall Invitational on Sept. 10 and 11. The Brewers finished the two-day event in 12th place with a score of 809, including a 389 on the first day and a 420 on the second. Sufana Noorwez ’24 [Disclaimer: Noorwez is Assistant Opinions Editor for The Miscellany News] was Vas sar’s top finisher, tying for 45th overall with a score of 172. A couple of first-years had standout performances, including Peiyun Wu ’26 and Mackenzie Shultz ’26, who placed 62nd and 67th overall with scores of 197 and 213 respectively. The final scorer for Vassar was Victoria Barrios Cabral ’25, who placed 78th with a score of 249. Next up for the Brewers is the Wesleyan Fall Invitational starting on Sept. 17.

Men's

1W-1L-1T1W-1L Women’s

Sept. 4-10 Sept. 10-11

return to nationals after our first ever trip there last year, to prove that we are a peren nial national caliber team,” Takiguchi said.

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

Vassar Brewers Sports Roundup: Thursday, Sept. 15, 2022

Field

“[We are] a young team, but a committed team, and our showing on Saturday indi cates that with some more work we have the potential to make a big impact this fall,” said Stockman of the complete team per formance.

Sept. 4-10 Soccer Women's Golf

“The ultimate goal of this season is to

Both teams now have three meets re maining before postseason competition be gins on Oct. 29 and plenty of accomplish ments to build upon as the team aspires to return to the national championship meet.

Cross country team sweeps Ron Stonitsch Invitational

Vassar men’s soccer had a strong week, winning two of their three matches. On Sept. 4, they cruised past Mount Saint Mary 4-0. Derek Sando ’25 had a pair of goals and both Danny Berry ’25 and Owen Fauth ’23 scored as well. The Brewers outshot the Knights 21-7. They followed up that victory with another convincing one against SUNY Coble skill by a score of 5-0 on Sept. 7. Duncan Keker ’25 started out the scoring in the 13th minute with a header. The Brewers quickly added to their lead with a goal from Ryan Lane ’25 two minutes later. Vassar never blinked from there, adding another three goals, including the first career goals for Jackson Hall ’25 and Nolan Alexander ’23. To wrap up their busy week, the Brewers fell in a close game 0-2 against Stevens Institue of Technology. The game stayed scoreless until the 64th minute when the Ducks scored to take the lead. They never looked back, despite a strong effort from the Brewers that included eight shots and five saves from goalkeeper Eric Wnorowski ’23. The Brewers’ next match is Wednesday, Sept. 14, against nearby rival SUNY New Paltz.

2W-1L

the little things as well as the big ones, since their first days in this program, [who] are finally starting to see the rewards of all their hard work,” Takiguchi said of the pro gram’s well-rounded success.

Field hockey had a strong week that included a decisive 5-0 win against Western Con necticut State on Sept. 7 and a heartbreaking 1-2 loss to ninth ranked Kean University in overtime on Sept. 10. The Brewers rolled past Western Connecticut State with a pair of goals from Ella Pearl ’23 and a strong performance from Leilani Llamas ’25. Llamas had two assists and a goal of her own. Max Meijaard ’25 and Maggie Werner ’24 each added a goal of their own to pad the lead for Vassar. A few days later, the Brewers were edged out by Kean University in Union, NJ, for their first loss of the season. Kean scored first right at the end of the opening quarter, but Vassar responded with a goal of its own from Werner in the second quarter. The second half was scoreless, necessitating an extra overtime period. Unfortunately for Vassar, Kean was able to take advantage of an early penalty corner and steal the win just a couple minutes into the overtime period. The 19th ranked Brewers will travel to Montclair State on Wednesday, Sept. 14, for their next match.

Photos courtesy of Vassar Men’s and Women’s Cross Country.

Sept. 5-10 Hockey Soccer

“I’m really excited to see how far we can go,” said Stockman.

On the mens’ side, Jose Magana ’25 fin ished ninth, Aidan Mayer ’24 finished 10th and Tim Buchan ’25 finished 14th to bring the team to 30 points, an impressive 39 points better than NYU, whose men’s team also finished as the runner-up. On the men’s side, 11 other Brewers finished the race, also all in the top three-fourths of the rankings.“Thereare a number of guys on the team that have been putting in the work, doing

Women’s soccer had a packed week, playing three games, winning one, losing one and tying one. The Brewers battled it out to a 0-0 tie against NYU on Sept. 4. The Brewers had some close calls on offense, nearly scoring on a number of their eight shots, but ultimately weren’t able to get one in the net. They did however play lights-out defense of their own, including a five-save performance from goalie Teresa Zimmer ’24. They followed up that draw with a frustrating 0-1 loss at Montclair State University on Sept. 7. Montclair State got an early goal and, despite outshooting the Red Hawks, Vassar was unable to even the score. However, the Brewers finally broke through on Sept. 10 with their 1-0 victory over 10th ranked University of Scranton. The game stayed scoreless until the 65th minute when Jacqueline Morrison ’24 assisted the first goal in the career of Riley McGrath ’26. The Brewers played shutdown de fense the whole way, not allowing a single shot on goal. Next up is Western Connecticut State on Wednesday, Sept. 14.

Hamilton Fall Invitational

Page 15SPORTSSeptember 15, 2022

Continued from Sports on page 1

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE “Vassar Presidents” September 15, 2022CROSSWORDPage 16 ACROSS 1. Movie theater chain 4. A characteristic of French toast or mayonnaise 7. ___ de Triomphe 9. 10.AngerIt’son again 13. Vassar’s first president 17. Aids’ partner 18. Is sick 20. Classic science fair project 23. Bank based in Hong Kong 24. To discard (with “of”) 25. __ will (whenever one wants) 27. A moon of Jupiter 28. A “feel good” chemical 31. Musician King 33. Author Salinger 34. A really long time 37. A musical with Mark, Roger, Mimi and Collins 40. Former Vassar president and his namesake Rat house 43. Collect them with a pickaxe in Minecraft 44. “No, dude, it’s like a giant violin!” 45. Residents of the Norse land of slain warriors (or of a town in Westchester County) 50. A street that disintegrates? 51. The hot gossip, black, green or herbal? 52. “___ the land of the free!” 53. A dance theater and a quadrangle bear the name of former pres. Frances ____ Fergusson 54. Stores The ___, and ___ Too (abbr.) DOWN 1. An instant messenger of the early Internet 2. Scan used by Drs. 3. Vassar classes with course numbers in the 290s 5. Thunberg or Gerwig 6. Coniferous, shrub-like trees 7. Members of the opposing party 8. Alternative to butter for use in baking pans 11. Second note in a scale 12. Home to many Mormons 14. Paddle 15. Nickname for Vassar’s current president and First Gentleman 16. Scout’s brother 19. Popular vacay spot on the NJ coast 20. Holder of a PhD 21. 2 22. You could write one to President Bradley 25. Arduous exam taken in HS 26. ______ never know 29. A drug user needs an EMT if they __ 30. Precedes “pets” or “liberal” 31. OJ had a white one 32. Four out of 12 months have these three letters consecutively 35. “Turn __, tune in, drop out” 36. ND 38. “Goonies _____ say die” 39. Ivan, Peter or Nicholas 40. _____ _ book 41. “___’s well that ends well” 42. Excusez-___ 44. Danforth who carried a basketball the whole movie 46. __ and behold 47. GA’s capital 48. It can be cast wide 49. Winter depression (abbr.)

Graphic courtesy of Riley Bates ’24.

The Miscellany Crossword

By Riley Bates

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