Misc.03.04.2021

The Miscellany News March 4, 2021

miscellanynews.org

Vassar College’s student newspaper of record since 1866 Volume 155 | Issue 2

Vassar Athletics, Liberty League announce spring plans Alex Eisert

Sports Editor

Additional reporting for this article done by News Editors Lucy Brewster & Annabelle Wang. aking good on her promise to deliver a decision on spring sports around March 1, President Elizabeth Bradley announced Monday that Vassar athletic teams, both varsity and club, would be included under a new rule allowing chaperoned travel off-campus.

In an official Vassar College press release, President Bradley cited the move as a potential boon to students’ mental health struggles and an opportunity to re-engage with the community. She also mentioned that these privileges were subject to rescission based on the status of COVID-19 on campus.

Other groups eligible for travel included field researchers, classes on trips and those volunteer-

M

ing in the community. All those journeying off-campus will be obligated to take a rapid antigen test within 24 hours of leaving and be approved by the newly created Off-Campus Travel Review Committee, which will be composed of representatives from different areas of the College. Certain varsity athletes participating in sports classified as “high risk” by the NCAA, such as rugby, will be subject to more testing as well.

Vassar Athletics further stated that they will make competition schedules for the spring teams, which include lacrosse, rowing, rugby, tennis, track & field, golf, men’s baseball and men’s volleyball, available on each team’s page on the website within the next few weeks. They plan to construct these schedules to avoid overnight travel, the need for indoor dining and any schools that do not agree to rigorous safety measures. Any bus travel will be at limited capac-

ity.

Most schools competing with Vassar will be subject to stringent safety restrictions by default, given that all members of the Liberty League Presidents’ Council unanimously agreed to move forward with athletics this spring. According to their plan, since Vassar has stated that they will require athletes to wear masks during competition, their Liberty League foes will be required to do so as well.

The plan also includes “general health guidance” for daily life, expecting all athletes, coaches, officials and other competition staff to wear face coverings, social distance, wash hands frequently and report symptoms daily. Testing protocols for athletes vary based on the risk level of each sport; essential staff for every sport are required to have either a PCR test within three days of play or a rapid test within one day. The Liberty League also stated that competi-

tion would not begin until at least March 26.

All Vassar spring teams compete in the Liberty League, save rugby and men’s volleyball. The Tri-State Rugby Conference announced that they would leave the decision to resume competition up to their member schools; Vassar appears poised to compete.

A decision from the United Volleyball Conference is forthcoming.

The College’s plans were first announced to athletes and their families in a Zoom Webinar conducted by Director of Athletics Michelle Walsh on Monday. She outlined Vassar’s plan to compete as taking place on three distinct levels: athlete, coach and team. Any student may opt out regardless of whether their team or coach does, and their standing with the team and department will not be affected. If a coach opts out but a team wants to play, the

department will pursue other options. If a team as a whole doesn’t want to play, perhaps because of a lack of players, they may opt out as well. Teams and coaches are expected to discuss the decision amongst themselves before arriving at a final conclusion. Overall, the College seems highly likely to resume some level of inter-collegiate competition for the first time since before the COVID-19 pandemic began.

When asked to comment on the significance of the opportunity to compete, Walsh underscored just how special it was for the players: “Our spring sport student-athletes already lost a season to the pandemic, which makes the fact that those who wish to play will be able to do so, albeit in a limited fashion, tremendously meaningful.” Whereas fall athletes managed to get in a full slate of competitions in the previous See SPORTS on page 3

Delays in mailroom Ice rink provides entertainment frustrate student body Tabitha Hannam Guest Columnist

Sam Patz

Guest Reporter

A

mong the many challenges of life on campus with COVID-19 restrictions, package delays have been an ongoing issue for students who rely on shipping for necessities.

The delays persist following the previous semester’s lags in package deliveries. Many students experienced longer than anticipated delivery times for prescriptions from nearby pharmacies amid the ongoing health crisis of COVID-19.

Months later, many questions remain about the reasons behind the delays.

Haylee Backs ’22 recently went to great lengths to get her textbooks and school supplies from Amazon. On Tuesday, Feb. 16, Amazon sent Backs three emails within 30 minutes alerting her that USPS had attempted and failed to deliver her three packages. Delivery failures are most common during weekends, as the Mailroom and Central Receiving are closed to students.

“I got no explanation for why my packages were not accepted,” Backs said. USPS successfully delivered two of her three packages the next day. But Backs had to wait until Feb. 23 for the last package, a week after the first attempt at delivery.

Backs explained that because students get emails from the delivery company when packages are not delivered, it is easy to tell Inside this issue

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Recipe: The best pancakes FEATURES you will ever make

whether the problem stems from Vassar or another party. She noted, “I think Vassar students get upset when the package is tracked as arrived and Vassar seemingly takes days to process it.”

For Backs, package delays amongst other delivery qualms are an ongoing issue. “I have had minor issues with package delivery, usually when a delivery is attempted after hours. Additionally, in the past I have waited for about a week after my package has arrived before Vassar processed it and I was able to pick it up,” she explained.

But unlike Backs, other students have had their delivery issues solved rather quickly. Schuyler Osgood ’21 was also alerted that there was a failed delivery with a book he ordered. It was delivered the next day. “I’ve never had any issues with package delivery or pickup,” Osgood explained. He continued, “I’ve actually only had positive experiences when I needed to interact with someone from the post office regarding questions or concerns of mine.”

He contacted Mailroom employees last year after students were sent home for the spring semester due to COVID-19 because he was worried about packages not being forwarded to his home correctly, “The person I contacted at the post office was incredibly helpful,” he said.

Olivia Feltus’s ’21 package was also delivered the day after the See MAIL on page 3

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“G

irl, check your email and sign up for ice skating with us!” These were the first words that came out of my friend’s mouth when I opened the door to her familiar rat-tat-tat on Valentine’s Day. Having arrived on campus 10 days previously, amidst heightened Covid restric-

Guaranteed accurate horoscopes HUMOR from a random Discord channel

tions back home and a blizzard in New York State, the lack of COVID-safe activities and social interaction on campus were starting to make the days blur into one. As an exciting alternative to countless mundane walks on the Ecological Preserve, the ice rink offered a twofold attraction: a chance to safely socialize and the opportunity to break out those

Bambi-like leg actions in front of your crush.

After having booked a mid-afternoon skating session, reasoning that we would get the best of the winter sun, we arrived at Walker Field House in high spirits, excited for our foray on the “ice.” I was initially surprised by the material of the rink; of course See ICE on page 8

Courtesy of Tabitha Hannam.

14 SPORTS

Why MLB players are just like you: The statistically significant sohpmore slump

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March 4, 2021

THE MISCELLANY NEWS

Ted Chmyz Taylor Stewart Tiana Headley Dean Kopitsky Olivia Watson CONTRIBUTING EDITORS Aena Khan Jessica Moss Holly Schulman Abby Tarwater NEWS EDITORS Lucille Brewster Annabelle Wang ASSISTANT NEWS EDITORS Sara Lawler Alex Wilson FEATURES EDITOR Janet Song OPINIONS EDITOR Sawyer Bush ARTS EDITORS Nina Ajemian Meghan Hayfield Leila Raines HUMOR EDITOR Isabella Migani ASSISTANT HUMOR EDITOR Madi Donat SPORTS EDITOR Alex Eisert ASSISTANT SPORTS EDITOR Jackie Molloy SOCIAL MEDIA EDITOR Natalie Bober ASSISTANT SOCIAL MEDIA Alison Carranza ASSISTANT PHOTO EDITORS Sherry Liao Grace Rousell COPY EDITORS Jacqueline Gill Phoebe Jacoby Caitlin Patterson GRAPHICS EDITOR Juliette Pope AUDIO EDITOR Alex Barnard ASSISTANT AUDIO EDITOR Mrin Somani LIVE EVENTS CHAIRPERSON Ben Scharf BUSINESS MANAGER Emma Tanner ASSISTANT BUSINESS MANAGER Logan Hyde WEBMASTER Chloe Gjoka EDITOR-IN-CHIEF MANAGING EDITOR SENIOR EDITORS

REPORTERS COLUMNISTS

GRAPHIC DESIGNER COPY STAFF

CROSSWORD

Monika Sweeney Francisco Andrade Karina Burnett Madison Caress Doug Cobb Rohan Dutta Ben Fikhman Nicholas Gorman Helen Johnson Xin Rui Ong Danielle Recco Massimo Tarridas Sandro Luis Lorenzo Arlene Chen Katie Gebbia Glenna Gomez Jason Han Tori Lubin Bryn Marling Claire Miller Sashinka Poor Melissa Roybal Mia Stein Reese Collins Greg Calidonna Ian Rosevear

CORRECTION POLICY The Miscellany News will only accept corrections for any misquotes, misrepresentations or factual errors for an article within the semester it is printed.

Sandro Luis Lorenzo/The Miscellany News.

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

The Miscellany News is not responsible for the views presented within its Opinions pages. Staff editorials are the only articles that reflect the opinion of a two-thirds majority of the Editorial Board.

March 4, 2021

NEWS

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Decision to resume spring athletics sparks controversy, backlash Continued from SPORTS on page 1 academic year, the pandemic abruptly ended spring sports last March, almost as soon as they began.

Despite her enthusiasm for returning to sport, Director Walsh was also especially cognizant of those who might choose not to participate. She acknowledged: “For others, this may not be the right time to return to competition and it will be important that we provide a space that is supportive of all of our community members.”

Criticism and condemnation of the College’s decision to allow inter-collegiate competition was fierce and swift. While many are excited about the prospect of Vassar returning to athletic competition, several are infuriated and argue that this decision affords athletes privileges over the rest of the student body. Within an hour of President Bradley’s announcement on off-campus travel, there was a petition on Change.org calling for the decision to be de-

layed until the entire student body was vaccinated. The creator, Itamar Ben-Porath ’21, later removed the petition after learning that athletes would not be gathering in locker rooms or removing masks during competitions, but stated on Facebook that there was still room for debate about just how safe the College’s plan was.

Some student athletes also expressed frustration with the College’s decision.

“The whole idea of the ‘island model’ was to create a bubble in which the Vassar community could function safely. This gave an opportunity for students to be able to come back to campus, and to ensure safety, especially for immunocompromised students and staff,” commented Bailey Carrillo ’22, a member of the track & field and cross country teams. “In this case, I believe that safe is better than sorry, and it is not fair for a small minority on campus to be putting our safety at risk. We are nowhere near ready to return back to some sense of nor-

malcy, and so Vassar’s decision on this issue is a blatant disregard of their initial promises,” she added.

Squash team member Liam Condon ’22 concurred. “Personally, I feel like it’s not worth the risk, but quite a few of my teammates are excited.” He explained that squash, a winter sport, does not have the green light to compete yet, but may have opportunities to compete later in the spring.

Director Walsh responded to these criticisms by highlighting the inclusive nature of the off-campus travel privilege, which also provides opportunities for all students to participate in class trips, local volunteer work and field research, although it is unclear how many students will be able or want to work through the application process in order to take advantage of these freedoms. Dean of the College Carlos Alamo-Pastrana echoed Walsh’s reasoning, explaining, “Athletics is just one of a long list

of activities that will be supported with this policy, so I do not feel it is correct to say that student-athletes are receiving preferential treatment … the other Liberty League schools have committed to meticulous testing and masking protocols that have been shown, based on NCAA research, to enable safe interactions for athletic events.”

While competition is a crucial part of a vast majority of student-athletes’ college experiences, the other off-campus opportunities are generally utilized by a smaller portion of the student body. Even for these students, the college has not yet provided guidelines for how they may earn trip approval; they likely will not have an entire department behind them in any case. Nevertheless, Walsh emphasized that athletes must follow all the same protocols that apply to anyone leaving campus, and reiterated her department’s commitment to not just athletics, but an equal educational environment for all students at Vassar.

Students’ package delivery woes persist into the spring Continued from MAIL on page 1 first attempt. On Feb. 17, Feltus posted on the “Vassar: The Virtual Version” Facebook page to see if anyone else was having problems with packages that day, and discovered others were, including Osgood and Backs.

“I’m pretty sure there was nobody there that morning to receive USPS packages because it was snowing and facilities opened late,” Feltus explained. Snow can often delay transportation and shipping services.

“I know some people whose packages took longer to process,” Feltus added.

In a previous Miscellany News interview, Mailroom and Copy Center Manager Renee DeSantis explained that USPS’ delivery method to the college may be to blame for these lags.

“After so long it was completely thrilling to receive [my package,] but I also felt frustrated...”

weeks with little guidance from the Mailroom.

In 2019 Molly Canfield ’23 grew worried after a package from England took longer than anticipated to arrive, triggering her resolve to embark on a mission to find it.

“I went to the post office several times and asked the workers behind the desk if they possibly had my package, if there was somewhere they could look for it, [or] if it could have gotten lost in their system,” she said.

Almost three months later in Feb. 2020,

Canfield received an email about the package. It had been in the Mailroom since November and needed to be picked up due to‘limited storage space in the Mailroom.

Lasting questions remain about these holes in the delivery system. In Canfield’s case, the answer to why she waited two months for her package is still unknown.

“After so long, it was completely thrilling to finally receive it, but I also felt frustrated—who could I have contacted sooner to have gotten clearer information?” she wondered.

“‘...tracked packages are marked ‘delivered’ when they arrive at the Arlington Post Office processing center, not when they make it to Vassar.”

Busy periods such as the start of school can also drive Vassar Mailroom processing delays. And tracked packages are marked ‘delivered’ when they arrive at the Arlington Post Office processing center, not when they make it to Vassar. That means Mailroom staff cannot confirm if a package is on campus grounds or not.

The Mailroom has not responded to a request for comment from The Miscellany News.

Delays also have occurred when there is no clear reason. While many resolve their delivery issues rather quickly, some students have found themselves waiting for

Juliette Pope/The Miscellany News.

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

NEWS

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March 4, 2021

One year into the pandemic, online learning burns out students Danielle Recco Columnist

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ince last spring, many students have been experiencing highly stressful personal situations coupled with exceptional academic uncertainty. The online learning model was once considered a temporary fix in the face of the COVID-19 pandemic. But as the world enters the one year anniversary since the pandemic’s advent, distance learning has proven a long, stressful and tumultuous journey for both students and faculty. The spring semester has shown no relief.

“Online classes have been more draining than I thought they’d be—especially this semester where I really only have one class in person,” said Christine Trâm Anh ’24.

The stressors of the pandemic and political instability have also left many Vassar students feeling overwhelmed. Frustration with online learning is not unique to Vassar students—many across the nation have experienced anxiety, depression, at-

“Online classes have been more draining than I thought they’d be—especially this semester where I really only have one class in person.”

tention issues and feelings of isolation.

Webcams have also caused increased anxiety in students due to privacy concerns and an inability to register nonverbal cues. Sitting for hours in front of a webcam while staring into a screen can cause what has been coined “Zoom fatigue,” and may lead to decreased participation and interaction. “It’s much more difficult for me to focus and hold myself accountable for staying focused on zoom,” shared Emma Swanson. “I only have one in person class and I feel so much more invested in that than in all my online classes.”

In addition to Zoom fatigue, some students have expressed frustration with a lack of communication with their professors. In one case, reported by a student

who wished to remain anonymous for privacy reasons, a Dean was necessary to facilitate communication due to a lack of response by the professor. Qinyao Li ’22 writes, “Some Professors take forever to reply to my emails. Can’t reach them when I need their help.” Further, some students voiced complaints about professors not appropriately adjusting their courses to accommodate remote students.

For this reason, Wyatt Milgrim ’23 was forced to drop one of his courses. Ariana Sierra-Chacon ’23, who was in-person last semester but has switched to remote learning this spring, has found group work assignments particularly difficult due to increased responsibilities and international time zones.

This is, of course, only a select few pro-

Juliette Pope/The Miscellany News. fessors. “All of my other professors seem to be doing a great job of handling the hybrid format so far,” Miligrim explained.

Overall, there seems to be a desire to connect more with faculty. Many students have found it difficult to make meaningful connections with professors not because of their lack of concern for students, but because of the nature of Zoom itself. Milgrim explained in a statement for this article, “The main thing that’s missing for me is easily being able to interact with the professors outside of class hours.”

However, Vassar’s culture may be its saving grace. While Zoom classes can prove exhausting, for on-campus students, the experience of living at Vassar salvages aspects of the college experience.

Previously remote students face challenges with on-campus life Carolyn Patterson

N

Guest Reporter

early half of the fall semester’s 379 remote students opted to return to campus this spring. These students face unique challenges acclimating to the countless ways COVID-19 has transformed campus life.

Vassar’s success at containing COVID-19 outbreaks during the fall semester encouraged many previously remote students to return to campus. “The success of fall definitely played a role in me deciding to come back” explained Temishi Onnekikami ’21.

Several students were enticed by the potential of having access to in-person classes.

For Onnekikami, the opportunity to use on campus studio space to complete her senior Studio Art project was a driving motivation to return to campus: “I’m doing my senior project, and I was like I’m not about to do this without a studio.”

Seniors felt an particularly urgent desire to return to Vassar’s campus for the last semester of their college experience. Hikari Tanaka ’21 felt drawn to return to campus to take advantage of what could be her last opportunity to spend extensive time with several close friends. “It’s my last semester ever at Vassar, and I may realistically never see some of my friends from other countries or even from farther U.S. states after this year,” said Tanaka.

However, the decision to return to campus was not an easy choice for all. Griffin Wells ’22 explained, “I wanted to come back to campus so that I could take in-person classes, but I was still unsure about the risks of flying and feeling socially isolated on campus.”

Without detailed information addressing potential points of confusion, previously remote students have sought guidance from peers and had to pick up on context clues in order to understand the minutiae of campus life during the COVID-19 pandemic. Nicole Stern ’22 shared, “There was no guide or protocols sent out so I really spent the first week watching people to make sure I was doing the right thing.”

Dean of the College Carlos Alamo-Pastrana acknowledged that the College received consistent feedback that communication to remote students needed improvement.

“Given this, we established a subcommittee of administrators led by Will Rush in the Campus Activities Office to help organize programming and to consistently communicate and check-in with our remote students about their needs,” explained Alamo-Pastrana. “We will continue to solicit feedback until we get this right. I continue to be grateful to our students for their engagement in helping us do better,” he added.

Students returning to campus for the first time have also faced difficulty navigating friendships with peers who have varying standards for following COVID-19 safety guidelines. “Life on campus has socially been sobering,” shared Rachael Hahn ’21. “I regularly hear about people breaking the rules on campus—some of whom I know well. And it has, unfortunately, resulted in my having to step away from some of my friendships which has been heartbreaking.”

After spending many months with their families, formerly remote students are also struggling with the social isolation that COVID-19 regulations create. Stern has

struggled with the physical distancing protocols required by Vassar’s regulations, despite having regular Zoom events with friends.

“I’ve thought a lot, ‘Man, I could really use a hug,’ and the concept that I won’t be able to hug anyone till June has really messed with my head,” said Stern.

Despite the countless challenges of adjusting to campus life during a pandemic,

previously remote students are grateful to see their friends again. “Socially it has been very good, because I just missed my friends so much,” said Milani.While the new normal of campus life can be painful, some have found the learning curve to be a valuable growth experience. “I think coming to terms with those kinds of changes is a part of the college experience,” concluded Hahn.

Students returning to campus for the first time since the start of the pandemic have had to figure out the many campus COVID protocols on their own.

Juliette Pope/The Miscellany News.

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

March 4, 2021

ARTS

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Musical memories kindle nostalgia, recall ‘all of the in-between’ Glenna Gomez

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Copy Staff

o you have those songs that make you think of specific times from your childhood? I do, but they’re not exactly kidz bops. “Blackbird” by The Beatles.

“Edelweiss” from “The Sound of Music.”

“Return to Pooh Corner” by Kenny Loggins.

“Rainbow Connection” (the Sarah McLachlan version). The “Animal Crossing” Gamecube Theme. Whenever I hear one of these songs, a memory pops into my head.

“Blackbird” by The Beatles and “Edelweiss” from “The Sound of Music” are two songs that come to mind when I think of my dad—or rather, my dad is the first thing to come to mind when I hear them.

When I listen to the familiar chords or just a snippet of the chorus, I am instantly brought back into my seven-year-old self, in the all-the-way-back backseat of my dad’s Volvo station wagon on the way to Disneyland. He would put it on and I would hyperfocus on Paul McCartney’s voice until the car sickness went away.

We’ve all been there.

Songs like “Blackbird” are markers of a tender time in my childhood when I still lived with my dad. While this time is hazy, the memories I hold onto are solidified by song. These songs. I remember my dad playing them while making us waffles in the morning, or strumming them on his guitar on a stepstool in the kitchen while my brother and I listened, cross-legged on the tiled floor. I remember driving in the car, and the music blasting from the radio

“Sometimes it feels like I don’t actually remember my childhood, and instead have subconsciusly fabricated core memories so that I have happy times to look back on—we all like to forget the bad stuff.” would be The Beatles (that or the “Bear

Juliette Pope/The Miscellany News.

and the Big Blue House” soundtrack).

And so, without fail, every time I hear the opening guitar chords of “Blackbird,” I think of him, mumbling the lyrics under his breath in the front seat.

After my dad moved out, he would visit every few weeks and one of the things he would always do before he left was update the music on our iPods. We each took turns sitting with him, explaining the songs we wished to add or delete. When this ritual first started, I was too young to know anything about music, so it was more of a bonding experience with my dad. He would add different albums he thought I would like while playing different songs for me to see my reaction. And so my love for The Beatles grew each time I listened. I shaped my music taste around his music library: movie soundtracks, a handful of musicals and a weird assortment of albums by The Beatles, Death Cab for Cutie and A Fine Frenzy. Now, my choice of music has changed drastically from what played in the car on the way to Disneyland, but “Abbey Road” is still my comfort album. I am grateful for the way music connected us, and still does today.

Sometimes it feels like I don’t actually remember my childhood, and instead have subconsciously fabricated core memories so that I have happy times to look back on—we all like to forget the bad stuff. But when I listen to these songs, so carefully and deeply steeped in nostalgia, of happy and sad times, I am reminded of all of the in-between.

Sandro Luis Lorenzo/The Miscellany News.

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

ARTS

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March 4, 2021

Student artist reflects on process, quarantine, creative frustration

tinues to maintain the spontaneous and instinctual nature of her art making process, she makes clear that my disoriented reaction to her work is utterly intended.

Freedman says “I like the idea of people being taken aback by my art, like, ‘What’s going on?,’ and being overwhelmed. I like really busy things.”

Another piece, which recalls the style and color of Freedman’s square/circle collage, is filled with magazine cutouts of angel figures and drawings of animal and plant motifs. Like in many of her other works, Freedman initially found inspiration for her drawn characters by scrolling through Pinterest and Instagram artists’ accounts, “until something [she] see[s] sparks a bigger idea for [her].” Unlike some of her other works, however, in this piece Freedman experimented with airbrushing, a technique like spray paint where the pigment and paint thinner are

Milla Durfee

F

Guest Columnist

or Lauren Freedman ’24, creative fulfillment comes from the intuitive process of art making rather than the completion of a specifically-planned artistic vision.

Freedman remembers first experiencing artistic pride after finishing a ceramic giraffe in her elementary school pottery class. She explains that even as a 10 year old, she appreciated the instant gratification of kneading the clay with her hands.

However, Freedman says she produced little art throughout middle school and most of high school. Only in the past year has she allowed herself to fall into a consistent schedule of making art. With the start of the COVID-19 pandemic and the subsequent quarantine mandate, Freedman describes experimenting with different forms of art making as an exercise for her mental health. “I needed something to fill my time,” she says. “I wanted to feel accomplished, like I had done something at the end of the day.”

Freedman tells me she began to experiment with any art form that sparked her interest. “I went through a bunch of different kinds of styles and mediums really fast because it was all I was doing every day,” she says.

Alternating between ballpoint pen and markers, Freedman first started creating realistic self-portraits and drawings of her friends and family. For her pen drawings, she describes creating a general plan in pencil and then spending hours crosshatching in order to create precise shadows and highlights. “The drawings were fun but it was also kind of tedious after a while,” Freedman reflects.

“I worked with pastel for a while and then I got really into collaging at some point during quarantine,” Freedman says. She would order vintage National Geographic magazines off eBay, adding to an ever-growing compilation of magazine cutouts she calls her “collage binder.”

Freedman points to one of her mixed media pieces, a collection of superimposed neon squares and circles covered by another eclectic mix of shapes and patterns.

I learn that the squares are cut pieces of paper and that the circles and various shapes are drawn on with markers and paint pens. The image has been replicated

“Though Freedman continues to maintain the spontaneous and instinctual nature of her art making process, she makes clear that my disoriented reaction to her work is utterly intended.”

four times in a mobile editing app. “The squares and circles kinda help me break down what I’m going to do in each part because I’m giving myself a space restricted for one thing,” Freedman explains. The different mediums are so well integrated into the composition that it is nearly impossible for the viewer to even make a guess as to the sequencing of Freedman’s creative process. Though Freedman con-

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

placed into an air-operated tool and applied to create a subtle and buildable layer of color.

Freedman has come a long way since the beginning of quarantine, when she describes feeling instantly frustrated with herself if she was dissatisfied with a work in progress. Now, Freedman seems to have adopted a relatively cool attitude towards her mishaps. She admits, “I make lots of things I don’t like but when I make something I love it’s very rewarding.”

In the future, Freedman plans to trek further into unfamiliar territory and attempt to implement painting into her artistic routine, which she describes as always having been somewhat of a fear subject for her.

Freedman’s artistic streak started merely as a way to occupy her time during quarantine. Freedman says, “I never really think about the meaning behind my art…it’s all just kind of what I’m feeling.”

Ironically, however, the very purposeless purpose of Freedman’s art is directly reflected in her pieces, which together cover a wide span of genres and styles, and especially in her multi-media works, which reveal an artist who allows herself to get lost in her process. She shares, “I like the process of being creative and zoning out and not thinking about anything else and just working…it’s really messy, but it’s really fun.”

All images courtesy of Lauren Freedman.

March 4, 2021

FEATURES

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Recipe: Swedish pancakes with maple syrup to welcome spring Helen Johnson Columnist

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or me, the beginning of spring is marked by cyclical beauty: the dripping sound outside my window as the snow begins to melt, the squishiness beneath my feet as the ground thaws and becomes mud, the sound of birds in the morning as the light comes a little bit earlier each day, the bright purple and orange of the first crocuses poking through the earth. There is one specific marker, however, that tells me definitively that spring is on its way: maple syrup season.

The Northeast is commonly known for making maple syrup, but what you may not know is that we make it in the Midwest too. The woods of Minnesota, Wisconsin and northeastern Iowa—where I live—have just the right climate to produce the sticky sweet substance that adds the final touch to any pancake or waffle.

Growing up, my parents hauled my sisters and I over to my family’s woods each March, where we would trudge through the barely melted snow in search of trees to tap.

heit. This fluctuation between freeze and thaw creates a pumping condition in the maple trees, as the branches pull sugars up through the trunk to feed the new growth. These sugars are the sap that you use to make syrup.

In order to harvest the sap, you need to drill a hole about two inches deep in the tree’s bark. Don’t worry—this doesn’t hurt the tree! You attach a bucket below and then stick a spile into the drilled hole, so that as the temperature rises and falls and the sap flows up the trunk, a little bit of sap will drip out of the spile into the bucket. Big commercial operations make thousands of taps and connect tubing to

Helen Johnson/The Miscellany News.

Helen Johnson/The Miscellany News.

To make maple syrup, you need to tap the trees in the spring as soon as the sap starts to flow. This happens once the weather begins oscillating between freezing nights and warmer days, i.e. below 32 and up to about 40 degrees Fahren-

all the trees to avoid harvesting individual buckets; we only make syrup for our small family, so we use a mixture of the old-fashioned buckets and the tubing.

Once you’ve collected the sap, it’s time to boil. It typically takes about 40 gallons of sap to make one gallon of syrup—the sap is so diluted that it tastes nothing like syrup at all, just sweet water. We use a traditional evaporator, a large open pan over a wood fire, to boil the sap. We boil off about 6-7 gallons of water per hour, so it takes a whole day to get about a gallon and a half of syrup. Sometimes we boil overnight and sleep in the woods under the stars to keep an eye on the fire. The best part about this stage in the process is tasting the sap as it transitions into syrup—it gets sweeter and sweeter with each passing hour.

Once the sap is finally close to being

Helen Johnson/The Miscellany News. syrup, we pour it off of the evaporator and take it home to finish boiling on the

Helen Johnson/The Miscellany News.

Helen Johnson/The Miscellany News.

kitchen stove. The entire house smells like maple syrup during this last step. The whole ambience is really aided by the fact that I live in a log cabin farmhouse built in 1853—total Laura Ingalls Wilder vibes.

Once the sap is fully boiled down to a thick, sweet syrup it is canned. Then it’s off to the cold cellar with the other canned goods: tomatoes, peaches, pickles, raspberry jam, apple butter, pear jelly, tomato and grape juice...then cross your fingers and hope that you made enough for the whole year!

My favorite way to eat maple syrup is atop my family’s recipe for Swedish pancakes (my family is very Swedish on my dad’s side). They are very similar to crepes and easy to make, even in a Vassar TA or TH kitchen. I made them for my housemates last semester and if I can pull them off, so can you.

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

RECIPE

2 eggs 1-1.5 quarts milk 1-2 tablespoons oil About 2 cups flour—just enough to thicken the mixture so that when poured into the pan, it spreads evenly but thinly.

Make the batter by simply mixing all the ingredients together.

You’ll want your pans to be pretty hot.

Cast iron is easiest, but definitely not necessary. Preheat your pans and put just a little bit of butter or oil in the bottom, and then pour in the batter. Tilt the pan to spread the batter around so that it evenly and thinly coats the pan, then let it cook. You’ll want to see little bubbles forming in the batter before you flip the pancake, and you want it to get nice and brown on both sides. If the first couple pancakes don’t turn out perfectly, don’t fret! Oftentimes it gets easier once the pan heats up and gets a little “seasoned.” Once the pancake is fully cooked, take off the pan and enjoy!

TOPPING IDEAS

Maple Syrup (homemade or otherwise) Nutella Whipped Cream Any kind of berries (my favorite is raspberries) Honey Butter and cinnamon sugar Like crepes, these can be savory as well!

Feel free to try with cheese, sausage, or whatever you like.

My personal favorite topping combinations: Maple Syrup and vegetarian sausage— for that incredible maple-sausage flavor. (Or real sausage if you eat meat!)

Nutella, raspberries and whipped cream—for that chocolatey-berry fluffy goodness.

FEATURES

Page 8

March 4, 2021

Ice(less) Skating provides an outlet for student community Continued from ICE on page 1 I had known that it wouldn’t be real ice but somehow hadn’t expected the large jigsaw-like pieces of plastic that made the rink look akin to the soft, indoor play areas that were the love of my childhood—and the bane of my parents! Whilst lacing up the skates, which are provided and thoroughly disinfected after each use, it felt surreal that the last time I had taken to the ice, I hadn’t given two thoughts about the unhygienic aspect of sharing shoes with hundreds of other people. The heightened awareness of sanitation is definitely one thing we have to thank COVID for!

I have learned to be wary when stepping onto the ice from the side, having ended up on the bitingly cold surface a few too many times to leave my pride intact. Yet on this ice rink, I could easily walk over the tiles without the slightest hint of slippage, even getting so bold as to shimmy across at one point. As Weipeng Xie, ’21, the president of Vassar’s ice-skating organization Iced Brew explained, “The physics of [this synthetic ice] and the experience is unique and dif-

ferent, but it is somewhat comparable to regular ice skating. In particular, the physical demand and balance are very similar.

From an experienced skater’s perspective, the plastic surface does not allow for a smooth glide, and the dullness of the provided skates do not have enough of an edge to transfer the energy into the ice. From a beginner’s perspective, the experience will actually be easier and less challenging than learning how to skate on real ice, because it is a more frictional surface and less cold on the hands if they do fall.” There is a definite appeal to the synthetic ice, as the stability of the skates make you feel less precariously balanced.

Clèlia Delevoye ‘21 a fellow exchange student, admitted to being a little disappointed with the parking lot rink: “It was a lot smaller than I had imagined, and actually getting the flow of skating was harder than on real ice.” However, Delevoye added, “After a couple of tough weeks, with the campus cases rising and all the anxiety that it brought, it was fun to get outside.” Robin Bleicher, ’23, similarly enthused, “My fa-

vorite part about the ice rink was having an excuse to get outside with friends for an activity!”

Xie’s sage advice definitely epitomizes my approach to the ice rink: “At the end of the day, it does not matter if it is real ice or synthetic ice, the most important thing is that both facilitate a positive and stress-relieving environment that is invaluable in this uncertain time.”

Since the rink’s opening, Iced Brew has taken advantage of the synthetic ice rink, scheduling popular Learn to Skate and Open Sessions for the next three Friday evenings, with their experienced skaters on hand for advice on twirling and technique. Xie expressed his sadness about the impact of COVID on Iced Brew and the opportunities they normally offer to the student body: “Thursday night ice skating is a huge part of the student weeknight activities [at Vassar] and so many students look forward to it during the semester. As an org, [this year] we are unable to provide the opportunity for the student body to try ice skating for the first time, or practice their

skating skills.” But the salience of having an outlet for stress-relief, an opportunity that Iced Brew normally offers with their Thursday night skating, became clear last semester with the chronicled deterioration of student mental health. It appears that the college is searching for innovative ways to encourage COVID-safe interactions as a way to ease stress and foster a sense of community.

The ice rink facility also hosted a skating-centered event last Saturday evening, dubbed Vassar On Ice. The night promised further opportunity for lively entertainment and boogying fun, with four student DJs showcasing their talents throughout the night. With Asian-fusion food catered

by Twisted Soul, the ice rink presented a hub for (socially distanced) congregation and a tangible sense of community that is hard to find at Vassar at the moment.

The evening was a sliver of normality in an abnormal, uncertain world, and I am planning to return for the chance to get outside, see my friends and do something that wasn’t available last semester.

Features Editor has ethereal experience with Shamrock Shake Janet Song

Features Editor

A

lthough I am Chinese American, I have fond memories of St. Patrick’s Day, as many of my Long Island classmates back in elementary school were of Irish descent. We would walk into class and find the chairs flipped and books spilled on the floor. The teachers would say the leprechauns came to our classroom and left behind green lollipops on our desks. I remember a music teacher of Irish descent who used to give tours of Ireland through a projector, showing us photos she had taken of Ireland’s fascinating landmarks. I remember everyone wearing green and shirts that said “Kiss Me I’m Irish.” I remember coloring the Irish flag and talking with a boy who claimed to have a leprechaun girlfriend named Emily. Surprisingly, despite engaging with what loosely seem to be aspects of Irish American culture, I have never, ever, had the Shamrock Shake from McDonald’s.

A week ago, I may have claimed that I never even heard of the iconic green shake.

The truth is, I probably have. One of my classmates probably mentioned it and I probably overheard and forgot about it. I probably got asked, “Janet, have you ever tried the Shamrock Shake?” and I said yes, like a liar, because, like many other times in my youth, I was pretending I had a grasp on American culture when in fact I did not.

After all, my family is the immigrant family that thinks Madonna and Marilyn Monroe are the same person. And so a few days ago, after being shamed by my more-cultured friends, I decided to celebrate the beginning of March by ordering and trying it for the first time.

After receiving my order, I unearthed the greenish holy grail from the McDonald’s bag and was alarmed at its bright, pastel color. It’s that nice cool shade of green that shouts, “This is mint! I am the mintiest of mints!” specifically the shade of that “My Little Pony” character, Minty, who’s in that DVD movie where she almost completely obliterates Christmas by being an absolute klutz.

However, the mint flavor was surprisingly subtle. There were hints of it, gracing my tongue with that refreshing factor, but the majority of it was just creamy. I’d expected it to have that overbearing amount of mint in mint chocolate chip ice cream—that “toothpaste-y” taste that some attribute to

the dessert. Unfortunately, I have no opinion on mint chocolate chip ice cream. Before I dated my ex-boyfriend, I liked the flavor, but after we broke up, all I could think of was how much he liked it; now any time I eat mint chocolate chip I eat it with bites of spite. In fact, after having a few sips of my shake, I considered texting him for the first

“That was it?”

I thought to myself. “But what do I do with my life now?” time in six months just to say, “Hey bastard, I’m having this Shamrock Shake without you,” just to see if he would respond, or per his typical habit, ignore me because he’s playing League of Legends.

Yet I had much to learn about this green refreshment. The first few sips I thought, “This isn’t much, it’s just sweet and slightly minty.” But then I went further. The mint flavor intensified. I got a brain freeze from the combined coolness of cream and mint.

I started reevaluating my life, thinking, “Who was I before this?” I started to question the lore of “My Little Pony,” thinking, “If the ponies celebrate Christmas, do they have a concept of Jesus Christ? And does that make Minty Christian, or is she like my family, celebrating the commercial version of it?” My body started to shiver, even though the heater was blasting right next to me. I took a few more sips and suddenly realized, “This shouldn’t be a St. Patrick’s Day themed drink! This is the taste of Christmas!” and had the genius idea for McDonald’s to resell the Shamrock Shake as “Santa Shake” for December.

As I was close to finishing the Shamrock Shake, I decided to watch the entirety of “My Little Pony: A Very Minty Christmas.”

I had a question: if Santa Claus exists in the “My Little Pony” universe, is he a pony or human? At least to my knowledge, only ponies exist in the 2005 “My Little Pony” universe, so Santa must be a pony. But does that mean Santa has to ride his reindeer-pulled sleigh? If that is the case, and we follow the

principle that the only creatures who exist in Ponyville are ponies, that means Santa’s reindeer are also ponies. This implies that Santa uses slave labor for not only the (pony) elves who make his toys but also for those to pull his sleigh every Christmas Eve. And now I must convince my roommate that we need to watch all the old “My Little Pony” movies to further analyze the lore of Hasbro’s equestrian franchise.

To celebrate my success of drinking the Shamrock Shake, I dipped a McDonald’s fry into my shake, an American tradition that I have also only heard of recently. I have to say that I was disappointed with the result.

I expected some euphoric breakthrough, but all I got was a soggier fry–a bit sweet and salty, but quite underwhelming. I resumed my movie.

At the end of a Shamrock Shake, there is a sweet sadness that consumes you. I enjoyed the foaminess from the white cream and mint drink but mourned my McDonald’s experience coming to an end. I could

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

see the greenness of the shake fading away, slowly reducing itself to little white bubbles at the bottom of the cup. And then I finished it and felt empty. “That was it?” I thought to myself. “But what do I do with my life now?” I came to the realization that I had a life before I met the Shamrock Shake, one without the refreshing but ethereal coolness I sipped from a straw. I will miss my minty green friend. I will miss what it was like loudly sucking the straw while my roommate was doing homework and I was watching “My Little Pony” and thinking of my ex-boyfriend, that strange return to my childhood, and those days when things were better.

If you’re looking for something to celebrate the beginning of March or St. Patrick’s Day, I suggest getting yourself a shake. I can’t guarantee that your psyche will break down in the same way mine did, but you’ll certainly enjoy a refreshing drink. Now if you’ll excuse me, I am going to read the entire “My Little Pony” fan wiki.

Janet Song/The Miscellany News.

HUMOR

March 4, 2021

ARIES

HOROSCOPES

March 21 | April 19

Sandro Luis Lorenzo/The Miscellany News.

If you find yourself in a rodeo this week, be one with the bull and fight back. Take the bull by its horns.

Taurus? More like “Taur-InDesign sucks.”

CANCER

June 21 | July 22

LEO

July 23 | August 22

VIRGO

August 23 | September 22

LIBRA

Put your left foot in and your left foot out. But do September 23 | NOT do the hokie pokie and shake it all about for October 22 good fortune.

SCORPIO

October 23 | November 21

You got the worst sign. Cry about it.

SAGITTARIUS

GEMINI

May 21 | June 20

Isabella Migani

“I crashed a Discord voice chat and asked them for horoscopes.”

TAURUS

April 20 | May 20

Page 9

If you see yourself in the mirror, do not be afraid and tell the person to fuck off.

Crabs have ten legs. Squat ten times to achieve your dream job and quads.

November 22 | December 21

CAPRICORN

December 22 | January 19

AQUARIUS

Stop screaming.

January 20 | February 18

PISCES Don’t pick up another frog. You don’t need to make them lonely with you.

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

February 19 | March 20

If your mom says no, just ask your dad instead.

Narwhals are better than unicorns. You are unique. You are breathtaking. Impale your enemies.

What is a horoscope?

When your friend stands outside your door with an iced coffee for you don’t keep her waiting. She has a Minecraft game to get to. Also don’t be afraid of déjà vu.

HUMOR

Page 10

March 4, 2021

Breaking News

From the desk of Izzy Migani, Humor Editor

If students intend to play lacrosse on Lathrop lawn, at least invite Humor Editor next time Dr G: ‘Why does my Pre-COVID hookup want to meet?’

Dear Dr. G, WTF? This guy I haven’t hooked up with since my first year just hit me up asking if I wanted to grab a “socially distanced meal” on a bench outside? I know myself, and that night after the mug was my worst performance in bed yet. HE’S NOT EVEN THAT CUTE! What gives?

-Not that Desperate... Yet

Dear Desperate,

Yikes! This seems to be quite the unexpected turn for our on-campus hookup culture. We are all familiar with the awkward f*ck-buddy search that started early last fall, but who would have thought that we would find ourselves getting into a relationship this many weeks after Valentine’s Day? There are a number of possible implications, and I warn you, dear reader, none of them are looking optimistic.

The first possible explanation is that your blast-from-the-past doesn’t want to blast at all; maybe they just want to get a meal on a bench outside. Perhaps they somehow became your roommate’s girlfriend’s SI’s class-mate, or some other incredibly obscure yet incredibly intimate relation. This could be them wanting to extend a non-sexual olive branch. Pod formations are coming in hot, and soon enough you’re all going to need to participate in apartment draw for the first time and you haven’t even seen the people from your pre-COVID friend group since before the first-first quarantine (March 2020 baby!). I guess it could never hurt to expand your social circle a little bit, especially since Lucy-or-Ella has been pissing you off recently. But, when you really start to think about this one it starts to fall apart; who is going to go out of their way to expose themself—not even sexually, but to COVID, no less—just to make a new friend when COVID is as serious as it has ever been? Worse yet, I know you weren’t

even into them, but this means that they aren’t uncontrollably drawn to your hot, raw sexual energy? They weren’t sitting in their Lathrop double thinking about how sexy, funny, interesting, smart, good at Chemistry and unforgettable you are?

That’s b*llshit! Like, it’s hurtful and also I don’t believe it. In summary, f*ck this option.

The next option is more realistic but more hurtful. Maybe they have simply made their way through their entire fellow group, all their hallmates, all their shameful past Villard party contacts and even one of their friend’s exes that they swore they would never have sex with (again), and you are simply the bottom of the barrel. This is certainly not a big confidence boost, but the hickeys you see on people’s necks as they scamper around the Deece securing their to-go meals don’t lie.

I’m sure we’re all plenty aware that people all across this campus are doing the nasty, so it’s not like we haven’t all run our contact lists dry. Unfortunately, you were just

the last “Guy from Mug Night” they had left saved on their phone, and it would be a tad too awkward to just invite themself over to bang (they’d invite you over, but they have a roommate who is always there or something). I guess the pro to this possibility is that you might be in the same boat, but when you’re each other’s last choice sexual partner, everyone loses and they probably wouldn’t even cuddle after >:(.

The final option is one you’re familiar with if you’re a religious Dr. G reader. Someone got to cuffing season WAY too late this year but is still determined to find their one true love. I suppose this would be the most optimistic choice; maybe they saw you standing in the mailroom line to pick up a package (the vibrator you ordered, just own it don’t be shy) and were struck by how you so delicately had sweat through your jacket or how your mask sat just beautifully against your sweaty, sweaty face. This could be your one big chance at finding a love that will last even

longer than your relationship with the coffee lady at the Deece. A love that keeps you up at night (because you think you have COVID), takes your breath away (because you think you have COVID), and brings a tear to your eye (while you’re getting a nasopharynx swab because you think you have COVID). The con to this option is obvious; if your lover is actually in it just to slap your bodies together in their TA once every two weeks and then have you leave immediately, you may find yourself a little heartbroken, as you’ve been imagining the two of you sharing a Retreat protein bowl, whenever that’s allowed again.

Being asked on a date? Wonderful. Being remembered fondly by an ex hookup that you almost forgot about?

Maybe just pleasant. That same past hookup not, in fact, asking you on a date, but asking if they can f*ck you? Priceless. On that note, if any of my past hookups are looking to bang I am not above that level of desperation, hit me up at my editor’s email address (imigani@vassar.edu).

Juliette Pope/The Miscellany News.

Terrifying tales of airport travel during COVID-19 Vivian Phillips

Aiport Adventurer

W

hen I arrived at the airport, I realized I hadn’t eaten. That morning, the idea of eating anything made me sick. Over my disposable mask I was wearing an N95, and over that I was wearing a face shield. It was probably a good thing I wasn’t hungry, since taking all of that off would have been quite cumbersome.

I went to check in my bags. While weighing them, the ground attendant made small talk with me. “What are you planning on majoring in?” she asked. I said economics. It is much easier to lie when the lower half of your face is covered. Without my suitcases I felt naked. My hands swayed aimlessly by my sides as I walked, a clue to how lost I was.

It was obvious that the majority of travelers were college students. We were all wearing sweatshirts and we all had eyes that darted from place to place. We also all looked very, very tired.

I adjusted my face shield as I stood in line

for the security check. A baby was gnawing on the sleeve of her sweater in a stroller behind me. When I was small my mother always complained about the inconveniences of airport security screenings. I never understood her frustration with the process. I was born in 2002 and have never gone on a flight that didn’t require an intense pat down or emptying of the pockets before I was allowed into the second half of the airport. The baby behind me had no idea that things were stranger than usual. In fact, the baby behind me had no idea that things were strange at all.

I stood with my arms up and my legs spaced a shoulder’s width apart in the full body scanner. Usually, I briefly panic for the 20 seconds the scanner rotates around me.

“Am I sure I don’t have explosives in my pockets? What if security thinks that my zipper is a razor sewed into the sides of my jacket?

What if I have the leaf of an invasive species that is illegal to transport across borders stuck to the bottom of my shoe?” This time I was a little disappointed that the alarm didn’t

go off. To be honest, it would have been nice to have a little human contact. After patting down my ankles to make sure I wasn’t concealing a switchblade in my sock, maybe the security guard could have held my hand for a little bit, or possibly braided my hair.

Once I passed security my realization that I hadn’t eaten anything yet hit for the second time. I walked up to the nearest restaurant. In a time when you run a high risk of contracting a deadly virus, eating fast food seems like a lot less of a health risk. I never noticed how much people manhandle your drink when they give it to you. The man taking my order must have had huge hands because he managed to overtake the entire lid of my drink with just his palm. This wouldn’t have bothered me so much had he not been wearing his mask below his nose. When I sat down to eat, I took the lid off and disinfected the rim of the cup with a wipe that left my lemonade tasting faintly of alcohol. This is as close as I’ve gotten to drinking throughout all of college.

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

On the plane, I was shocked at the many reasons people came up with to take off their masks. One woman slipped her mask down below her chin to talk to a baby. “Aren’t you just the most precious thing?” she gawked. I concluded she had to at least be 70 years old.

The man sitting next to me had his mask below his nose for almost the entire flight.

He also got a call from his wife before takeoff that he stared at for forty seconds before pressing ignore. He was a real stand-up guy.

The man sitting in front of me did pick up a phone call before takeoff. “I applaud y’all out in the hospitals dealing with this shit,” he said to what I assumed was a medical worker. “But let me tell you something–we aren’t all built for that. I was built to save myself.”

You would think someone so dedicated to self-preservation would be more diligent about face coverings, but he took his off three minutes into the conversation. “Hey do you know if Vanya is single?” he asked. “Will you give her a word for me and tell her I’m coming into town for Thanksgiving?”

HUMOR

March 4, 2021

Page 11

Shockingly, somnolent senior wakes up before noon Blair Webber

Lifestyle Reporter

F

or the Class of 2021 here at Vassar, it’s Senior Spring. While for many that means staying in the same room or pair of pants for weeks at a time and only interacting with friends over Zoom, others are trying to make the most of their last semester of college. Whether that’s through challenging academic theses or taking time for themselves, seniors are really seizing the spring by the horns.

For example, one senior, AJ Bugg, recently made a daring decision: They set their alarm for 10:30 a.m.

“I knew it was ambitious going in, but I

thought to myself ‘it’s now or never, AJ,’” said Bugg. “I didn’t know what to expect. I haven’t had a class before 1 in three years.

I don’t know what the morning is like anymore. Did you know the sun is up at 10:30?

I was shocked. Turns out it’s rising around 6:30 these days. Who knew.”

Bugg is not the only senior making life-altering choices here in their last semester. Senior Adrianna Vargo recently fell asleep at 11 p.m. Vargo commented: “It’s not even like I passed out watching Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure after not sleeping for three nights and then woke up in a cold sweat at 4 a.m. I consciously put my laptop away at 10:30, even read a chapter of a dusty novel

I found under my bed, and was out at 11. I woke up 12 hours later feeling dehydrated but well rested.”

Vargo said that the experience gives her hope for the future. “It makes me think that maybe one day, I’ll go to sleep at 11 more consistently and wake up better rested. If I’ve done it once, I can do it again.”

Bugg also plans to attempt their feat of getting up at 10:30 a.m. again. “I don’t know how often I’ll be able to accomplish it, but it does make me wonder: what is the rest of the morning like? Could I get up at 10—or maybe even 9 a.m.?” Bugg mused, “I think 8 is still too far of a stretch, and I don’t even know if I want to get up that early honestly,

but I could try 9 or 9:30 on for size one of these days.”

When told about Bugg’s 10:30 a.m. wake up, Vargo seemed cool with the idea of getting up early. “I know I’m not a morning person, and I don’t need to be. I just want to feel rested when I get up, and falling asleep at 11 did that for me.”

While Bugg and Vargo made major lifestyle changes with their bedtime habits, Senior Carter Bowles also stepped far, far outside his comfort zone.“I ate a vegetable.

From the Deece,” Bowles whispered.

When pressed for comment, he stated, “That’s all I feel comfortable sharing at this moment.”

FROG AND TOAD ARE FRENEMIES

by Julianna + Olivia

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

OPINIONS

Page 12

March 4, 2021

For the sake of my country, Vassar needs to divest from fossil fuels Syed Mostofa Moosa Guest Columnist

The call for divestment from the fossil fuel industry is reverberating stronger than ever at Vassar College. In 2016, 91 percent of Vassar students voted in favor of divestment, yet the trustees at Vassar have dismissed three separate divestment proposals in the last few years for various reasons. While I will leave the policymakers at Vassar to make their own informed decision, I can’t help but feel dismay that my beautiful college continues to fund an industry that puts me, my country and its people in an existential crisis—a crisis not just approaching in the near future, but one that is ravaging millions of lives right now.

While Vassar students debate with fervent conviction the very real threats the fossil fuel industry poses to our beloved planet’s future, to me it is more personal, more frustrating, more disappointing. My home country Bangladesh, with over 160 million people, is one of the worst-affected by the climate crisis. Bangladeshis are feeling the brunt of the West’s disproportionately high contribution to man-made climate change. Just this year, a third of my country was underwater, displacing millions and leaving millions more people wondering when they would get their next meal or when they would have clean water to drink. The future many of my Vassar friends are so afraid of is already the reality my people in Bangladesh experience daily.

Their struggle goes unreported, their cries never cross the Atlantic.

I am deeply appreciative of all Vassar College has provided for me. Vassar has given me a community outside of Bangladesh that not only allows me to celebrate my distinct Bengali Muslim identity, but has also allowed me to forge relationships with people and ideologies from all over the world. I have taken classes from History to Economics to Film to Psychology—a wide range of academic interests almost impossible to pursue anywhere in Bangladesh. I

attended riveting jazz concerts in Skinner Hall and ardently listened to lectures on existentialism in Rockefeller Hall. Vassar has given me the best education I could have received with my means and abilities and has opened doors for me that I did not even know existed. When the U.S. Embassy at Dhaka refused to provide me a student visa and wanted to do additional background checks prior to my matriculation at Vassar, the International Director at Vassar, Andrew Meade, frequently checked up on me and assured me that there would be a place for me at Vassar no matter what. And then a month after I set foot on campus, I read with horror about the ethnic cleansing of Rohingyas just across my country’s border and how my Prime Minister, against any economic sense but only on humanitarian grounds, embraced nearly a million refugees in my already impoverished country.

The college’s then-newly minted President Bradley hosted me and three other friends in her house with tea and biscuits and conversed with us on how to shed much-needed light on the issues surrounding the Rohingya people and my country, Bangladesh, to the greater Vassar community. I was sure then and I am sure now of Vassar College’s unwavering commitment to its international students and its distinct effort to create global citizens in an increasingly polarized world.

Today, Vassar’s refusal to listen to its students and take a leading role in the fight against climate crisis feels like a blatant betrayal to the very beliefs fostered on campus. The climate crisis is not a mere “social issue”—it is a global existential threat. And any argument that such divestment of Vassar’s large endowment is not economically feasible can be easily disputed. Fossil fuels are no longer a sure-fire investment and sustainable investments are now the more economically viable option. BlackRock, the world’s largest asset management company, called sustainability its “new standard,” while companies like Goldman Sachs, Microsoft and Starbucks all made sustainable

Courtesy of Syed Mostofa Moosa ’23. investments their most important goals of this decade. Most interestingly, the Rockefeller Brothers Fund came out in support of the divestment campaign—a family with deep ties to both Vassar College and the Standard Oil company. Vassar SEED has created a detailed report offering compelling arguments for divestment considering the increasing volatility of fossil fuel companies, and it is without question that sustainable alternative investment opportunities can be found with greater research and analysis. In fact, Vassar could go a step further to show its support for climate crisis-affected people by making relatively small investments in sustainable energy in countries like Bangladesh, which are leading the charge in combating climate change.

Just like Vassar, my country is breathtakingly beautiful, and adorned with large-hearted people who will welcome you with open arms and limited resources

regardless of your creed, color, religion. It is a country with a deep-seated relationship with its nature. When we stand for our national anthem, we profess our love for our blue skies and rich air. When our boatmen venture out in our beautiful rivers, they sing Bhatiyali songs—a timeless folk culture that unites the waters and my people.

To me, even a single penny of Vassar’s $1 billion endowment that goes to the fossil fuel industry is not for financial support for the college’s academic goals but is a penny towards my country and the current death warrant against its people. It is a rebuke to my childhood teacher who lost his home to the rising water level in the Meghna river.

It is a rebuke to hundreds of hungry kids I met in Sunamganj—made possible by the climate crisis—just one month prior to coming to Vassar.

A penny for the fossil fuel industry is a penny against my existence. And for that reason, my college must divest now.

Celeb culture in pandemic reveals excesses of U.S. reverence Karina Burnett

Guest Columnist

D

espite a national obsession with heavy words like “independence” and “freedom,” Americans seem obstinately stuck in the search for a figurehead—whether that be a politician or a reality TV star. However, in the midst of the country’s third wave of COVID-19, celebrity culture presents a new problem. What do we do with celebrities who, in accordance with our adoration, believe they’re somehow immune both to the coronavirus and public backlash?

In what seems to be a constant struggle between our devotion and vitriol for public figures, public outrage operates more as an outlet for our frustration than a genuine attempt at correcting behavior. And celebrities never fail to provide reasons for this release, from the Kardashians pretending “things were normal just for a brief moment” by throwing a lavish party for 40 guests on a private island, to California Governor Gavin Newsom attending an unmasked birthday dinner for one of his lobbyist friends. These actions are a mockery of the nearly half a million lives lost to COVID-19, and current methods fail to change this behavior. However, we continue to swing between the extremes of love and hate for famous people. In a culture where any public figure can be elevated to the height of celebrity, how do we reckon with

the consequences?

The dubious answer that comes to mind is cancel culture, a process of online policing and censorship that often misses the point. Cancel culture almost never satisfies the public’s initial desire for retribution. Instead, it leaves a confused mess of pointless discourse, turning the original issue with an individual into a collective problem to be hashed and re-hashed into oblivion. In a few cases, this method of cancellation ends in concrete forms of due process, but usually only with the most egregious and horrifying

“What do we do with celebrities who, in accordance with our adoration, believe they’re somehow immune both to the coronavirus and public backlash?” transgressions, such as the actions of Harvey Weinstein and Bill Cosby. But in most cases this mayhem, instead of posing direct and immediate consequences for the offending individual, results in little besides temporary

disgrace. J.K. Rowling’s infamous transphobic statements are one case study. After cancel culture came for her, J.K. Rowling’s book sales actually skyrocketed in England. Even Louis C.K. returned to stand-up, selling out shows after multiple women accused him of sexual assault. Despite this process’s ineffectiveness, it’s hard to resist. It speaks to our desire to have control of the public sphere but not much else, as the important social issues raised in these debates are usually overshadowed by personal attacks and unconscious recapitulation of insidious police culture.

Many people would acknowledge that cancel culture is fundamentally a toxic way to hold others accountable, especially when their offenses are not immediately violent.

Most of the time, individual infractions symbolize a larger systemic problem. Cancel culture is more complicated within the private sphere—it’s much easier to cancel a celebrity than it is to cancel a friend—and its limitations and impracticalities are made much more visible. If someone you knew was throwing parties during the pandemic, you would probably let them know they were actively endangering others rather than cut off all communication and shame them relentlessly online, right? Instead of teaching people a lesson or “raising awareness,” I’d argue that cancel culture just encourages people to hide their bad behavior rather than change it.

The opinions expressed above do not represent those of The Miscellany News as a whole.

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

This being said, the many examples of celebrities’ carelessness, especially during the pandemic, make it difficult to know how to respond—like Jake Paul throwing huge parties while claiming the pandemic is “a hoax” or the Chainsmokers performing at a concert that flouted social-distancing guidelines in the Hamptons over the summer. The mindset behind this negligence is arguably more disturbing than the actual events. It shows a certain rupture from reality, even when it concerns such irrefutable matters as contagious diseases—not to mention the example they set for fans, who might not have access to the same top-tier healthcare and rapid testing. Considering most Americans’ reverential perception and treatment of famous people, it’s no wonder that celebrities have a skewed view of their own importance. The attempt to “deplatform” celebrities through cancel culture is simply an effort to retain public control over the narrative, a struggle to display some kind of democracy in celebrity culture. While celebrity culture requires a dialogue between the performer and the public, it becomes all the more complicated considering the unquestionably universal experience of COVID-19—there really isn’t any room for constructive discussions. Celebrities’ irresponsible behavior in the pandemic and our inability to properly challenge them beyond online shaming calls both their egos and our reverential culture into question.

March 4, 2021

OPINIONS

Page 13

Increasing G.O.P. Voter Suppression Alludes to American History Ben Fikhman

Guest columnist

A

few years ago, I believed that some of the Republican Party’s ideas were hypocritical in nature, but given the hyper partisan atmosphere that has exacerbated in the last four years, I now think it’s appropriate to acknowledge a more magnified reality: Hypocrisy is central to the party’s existence and functioning. The Republican Party literally cannot survive without vigorously obstructing their own self-proclaimed values and acting in contrast to their own spoken defense of democracy, unless they acquiesce to liberalizing their agenda.

They shunned Barack Obama for “not loving America” but defended Donald Trump when he embraced Russian president Vladimir Putin ahead of his own national security team. They act terrified of the idea of larger relief plans and their effect on the federal debt, while continuing to place their faith in trickle-down policies, a form of economics that evidently caused recessions and extensions of debt with poor returns. They claim to be “prolife” while blocking sensible gun control legislation in light of schoolchildren falling victim to those wielding AR-15s. They confirmed Amy Coney Barrett to the Supreme Court just weeks before the election despite not confirming Obama’s pick because they alleged it lacked the people’s mandate during an “election year.” They rally against immigration and tango with Tucker Carlson’s xenophobic rants despite America, the nation their hearts allegedly beat for, being a nation of immigrants.

They claim to be strict constitutionalists in their defense of avoiding new Constitutional amendments, yet they are complicit in its violation when they believe it is in their favor, most notoriously when it came to acquitting Trump for incitement of insurrection. A moderate could say these paradoxes are fringe, but in reality they dominate and define the “Grand Old Party” today.

Religious liberty, abortion rights, civil rights, gun control and so many other issues have been manipulated by Republicans in ways that contradict their spoken defense of democracy and fairness in favor of defending their interests. But one recent instance of hypocrisy has consolidated in my mind the Republican Party’s mutual exclusivity to democracy itself, and that is the indefensible allegation of a rigged 2020 presidential election, even while the party practices its own unceasing and decades-old movement of voter suppression.

Despite the fact that 2020 witnessed the largest democratic repudiation of a sitting president that the United States has ever seen, congressional Republicans defended debunked claims of widespread voter fraud and objected to the results in numbers the government has never seen before. All of this was based on lies, not in the name of election integrity like they claim. Thankfully, their bid failed.

But all the while, Republican state legislatures nationwide are mobilizing to draw up districts that benefit their party most and usher in dozens of new bills that limit mail-in voting, impartiality in redistricting commissions, citizen-led ballot initiatives and other grassroots methods that are meant to raise voter turnout. The Georgia Secretary of State’s office even vows to level up enforcement of the unjust ban on distributing food and water to those waiting in voting lines that will only get longer as new laws limit the number of ballot boxes available. Even with an already existing Republican bias in a heavily gerrymandered House, a Senate where the Dakota territory has double the representation of California, and an electoral college where the value of a Wyoming vote is more than triple that of a New York vote, Republicans are relentless in their pursuit of manipulating control of localities and state legislatures to win through voter suppression, otherwise known as legal cheating. What’s the motive? To decrease voter turnout in areas where Republicans know

they don’t have enough support to win, and with that hypocrisy comes two strong realities, one good and one solemn.

The good news is that this Republican push to suppress suffrage in order to maintain their power reveals the rising popularity and majoritarian dominance of the values represented by the Democratic Party in the eyes of Americans, not to mention diversifying demographics. Americans increasingly cannot agree with those who seriously believe that it is ethical to limit the rights of their marginalized neighbors. Although the trend of rising liberalism and a more widespread fight for equality has not been linear, it is ongoing.

Since the Democratic Party is more associated with these ideals than the Republican Party, Democrats and their supporters are willing to continue on the path to bolster voter turnout, ultimately increasing the democratic representation of Americans, a healthy positive.

The solemn reality, however, is one that also alludes to the history of the United States. The Republican antidemocratic methods of voter suppression reflect the gradual decline in popularity of their conservative ideals, but that, in turn, reflects how radicalized and desperate their central body is, even in Congress. That change was part of what ushered in Donald Trump, especially after eight years of Barack Obama. That same desperation is why the party is more willing to embrace conspiratorial thinking: they need everything they can possibly get to win the future. The GOP hypocrisy of crying fraud while suppressing votes is a result of that desperation.

This current nationwide voter suppression effort harks back to a series of trends during the 20th century, in which the Democratic Party introduced voices of racial justice and equality into their party during the 1970s, and the Southern Democrats who upheld segregation began to turn to the Republican Party. After a past America in which both parties believed in

illiberal social values and racial hierarchy, the 1970s trend shaped the stark contrasts of both parties and drove a stake into bipartisanship, because today we now have two parties that are nearly monoliths (at least for the policies and rhetoric they defend) for the deeply opposed social values for which they stand: The Democratic Party supports equal rights, economic justice, gender equality and the breakdown of norms that harm others, while the Republican Party, whose chief demographic of White Christians is losing ground, reveres the social order that once was, or longs for the Gilded Age 2.0. If that’s not the truth, then explain Make America Great Again.

Now that the federal government is represented (barely) by a Democratic trifecta, it is time to pass the For The People Act immediately in order to limit partisan gerrymandering and the John Lewis Voting Rights Advancement Act to overturn discriminatory and obstructionist laws in localities nationwide.

In addition, I wish for the momentum of grassroots movements and organizations that raise voter turnout to carry over through the midterms and the 2024 elections, whether it’s Stacey Abrams’ valuable work in Georgia or VassarVotes.

These efforts are not just relied upon to give Democrats the power of the people’s mandate, but to also allow elections to more accurately reflect the true ideological desires of the American people.

A party determined to carry the massive lie of the 2020 election being stolen and to pin the blame on Democratic abuse of power will continue to be relentless in its hypocrisy, and will never reevaluate itself, at least not in the foreseeable future.

While loving your neighbor irrespective of their class, citizenship status, skin color, gender or disability status is more popular than ever, those who represent the socially conservative politics in opposition to those values must cheat to survive. Their future is Greene and Hawley, not Cheney and Romney.

EVs are the future, but do we want Tesla at the helm?

Jonathan Dean

M

Guest Columnist

iles travelled by light-duty vehicles— passenger cars and light-duty trucks— increased by almost 50 percent between 1990 and 2018. In 2018, the automotive industry accounted for 28.2 percent of all U.S. greenhouse gas emissions. Fortunately, the automotive industry has, relatively speaking, the clearest path to full electrification.

In my opinion, it’s now only a matter of time until all the cars are fully electric. Electric vehicles (EVs) will continue to decrease in price, and the EV consumer will change from technofile and early adopter to regular Joe. There is major progress being made across the world, particularly in China, Europe and the UK. China in particular has continued to push the envelope, as they were responsible for half of worldwide EV sales in 2019.

The 2019 total annual sales of EVs surpassed the much anticipated milestone of two-million vehicles—adding to the global stock of 7.2 million. From 2018 to 2019 the global stock of electric cars increased by 40 percent. And as the automotive industry continues to change, so do the companies who hold the most power. Tesla, the number one fastest growing brand worldwide, is at the vanguard of this transition. And while Tesla certainly has had a tremendous positive influence on the industry as a

whole, many of their business practices and investments are unsustainable and should be further scrutinized.

In their most recent Impact Report put out in late 2020, Tesla touted a combined savings of over 4 million metric tons of CO2.

I like Tesla, what they’re doing is great, and their role in decarbonizing the transportation sector is massive. While Tesla’s carbon footprint is generally very well rated, they are far from perfect. As you may have read in the news, Tesla recently invested $1.5 billion in Bitcoin stock, and announced

“Many of [Tesla’s] business practices and investments are unsustainable and should be further scrutinized.” that it would begin accepting payments for its products in cryptocurrency in the near term. In an annual report, Tesla disclosed that the purchase would help “diversify and maximize returns on our cash that is not required to maintain adequate operating utility.” Since they announced this purchase,

Bitcoin’s value has boosted to a historic high of $57,000. Shockingly, Tesla is projected to profit more from their investment in Bitcoin than from all vehicle sales in 2020—$721 million from operations in 2020, whereas several research analysts are predicting a total capital gain of over $1 billion from their investment in Bitcoin.

Okay, cool—Tesla is now an investment fund of sorts, and CEO Elon Musk would be the one to do it. But are there any further reaching impacts of the rise of Bitcoin?

It turns out that the answer is a strong yes.

As it currently stands, Bitcoin’s carbon footprint is equivalent to that of New Zealand— producing 36.95 megatons of CO2 annually, according to Digiconomist’s Bitcoin Energy Consumption index. The Cambridge Bitcoin Electricity Consumption Index shows the total annual energy consumption of Bitcoin as 110.53 TWh, more than all energy consumed by the Netherlands. I do not think that Bitcoin and its large need for energy is inherently bad. I don’t think curbing consumption is a viable way to solve the climate crisis. Humanity will continue to grow in size and consume more. People will continue to fly and drive cars––you get the point. The essential part is that we transition to employing more efficient, cleaner energy sources. And unfortunately in the case of Tesla, the majority of Bitcoin miners are based in China, where the majority of power

The opinions expressed above do not represent those of The Miscellany News as a whole.

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

comes from coal. Tesla’s investment in Bitcoin is unsustainable, premature and lacks environmental awareness—something they so strongly pride themselves on. If the car industry is to become fully carbon neutral, things like this can’t slip through the cracks.

As Bitcoin and other cryptocurrencies slowly make their way into the mainstream, it is crucial that they are supported and fueled by renewable energies.

All this is to say that it will be progressively important to track the negative externalities and unforeseen consequences of the actions made by the companies that lead our country and our world. Any well known company will have on their website a well manicured sustainability report. But if you do just a little bit of digging and see what’s behind it, you’ll find that there is, albeit to varying extents, lack of substance and comprehensiveness in their plans.

It can be a bit of work to do this, I know.

But perhaps you draw the line somewhere, and only buy from companies who fit your standard of sustainability. And sometimes it can be hard to know when to draw the line- how badly do I want this, and how much do I care about these negative aspects?

In any case, trends in consumer sentiment can have very powerful and lasting effects, and companies will make changes because of them. The more informed the consumer the better.

SPORTS

Page 14

March 4, 2021

Investigating the so-called sophomore slump: Fact or folly?

Alex Eisert

“P

sports editor

ity the sophomore. You are feted as a freshman, but no one seems to care that you’re back on campus … With the newness of college gone, malaise sets in.” Thus begins a 2013 New York Times article entitled “The Sophomore Slump.” But the struggle for second-year college students to get motivated when they feel like “overlooked middle children” has become only one of several uses of the phrase. There is even a Wikipedia entry on the topic, which defines the slump more broadly as “an instance in which a second… effort fails to live up to the relatively high standards of the first.” This latter definition is an apt description for the downturn in performance among second-year athletes after a promising rookie season.

In baseball, the sophomore slump phenomenon is widely accepted as common knowledge. For example, 2002 National League (NL) Rookie of the Year (ROTY) Eric Hinske himself expressed hope that he could avoid the sophomore slump right after accepting his award (unfortunately, he could not). That being said, there has been no shortage of statistical analyses investigating whether the slump holds true. Many of these analyses focus primarily on ROTY award recipients. University of Georgia Baseball Analytics Intern Chris Gauthier found that, of the 12 position-player ROTYs from 2010 through 2018, only three improved upon their rookie OPS+ (a popular all-encompassing offensive metric) and WAR (wins above replacement player, which takes offense and defense into account) per 100 plate appearances (PAs) in their sophomore season. The only player to improve on both his rookie OPS+ and WAR was Kris Bryant, the 2015 NL ROTY. During the same time frame, six pitchers were ROTYs, and only two improved upon their rookie ERA+ (the amount of runs given up per nine innings, relative to that year’s league average) and WAR per 100 batters faced. The two for both categories were Craig Kimbrel (2011, NL) and Jacob DeGrom (2014, NL). Further, the average ROTY during this time period saw worse numbers in batting average, on-base percentage and slugging percentage for hitters and ERA, strikeout percentage, and walk percentage in pitchers.

However, the average performance declines don’t appear statistically significant, and I would hesitate to draw conclusions from a miniscule sample size of 12 and six for hitters and pitchers, respectively.

Another analysis that focused on ROTYs was done by Taylor & Cuave (1994). They found that home runs declined significantly in ROTYs’ sophomore seasons, even more so than a typical regression to the mean (RTM) would suggest. However, batting average declined in such a way that was consistent with ordinary RTM. RTM is commonly used by baseball statisticians to refer to the statistical phenomenon that over time, each sample of

Juliette Pope/The Miscellany News. data will cluster around the true average (or mean), and when a particular sample is especially striking (i.e., a very good streak or very bad slump), an observer should expect that the next one will fall closer to the average.

Wetcher-Hendricks (2014) suggests that the reason RTM might seem to impact ROTYs more is not because there is some other effect in play, but rather because the population of ROTY recipients is self-selecting for those most ripe for regression. Since the ROTY award is based on just one season’s worth of data and goes to players who performed best in that sample, one could reasonably expect sophomore performance to decline towards the true average of each recipient. This decline would likely be larger than a typical decline after a good season because the award only goes to those who had outstandingly good seasons. For this reason, Wetcher-Hendricks describes the sophomore slump as more of a “Freshman Fluke … a statistical, rather than an athletic phenomenon.”

But what of the explanation Evan Altman, editor-in-chief of Cubs’ Insider, provides for the slump? The one most commonly heard around baseball clubhouses? For coaches and players alike, baseball is a game of adjustments. If a hitter torches the high fastball, start throwing him low ones. If he starts hitting the low ones too, start throwing him more curves. But, if he can’t adjust to the low fastball, there is no reason to stop throwing it, and his performance will decline accordingly. When rookies arrive at the major league level, common knowledge holds that players are not as familiar with the strengths and weaknesses of the newbies. So, it might take around a year for the rest of the league to figure out how best to oppose a hot-starting rookie.

Could this adjustment explanation account for some of the sophomore slump along with statistical RTM? I performed my own analysis, this time not only focusing on ROTYs, but all rookies. While ROTYs might be subject to more RTM than other rookies, as other good rookies’ tendencies become clearer, they too will have to face adjustments the league makes. Not to mention, including all rookies provided me with a larger sample size. Lastly, I also theorized that my most important results would come from separating good rookies from poor ones, because poor rookies likely aren’t subjected to much change in strategy

from their opponents.

I defined rookie hitters as those who exceeded their rookie eligibility (130 career at bats) that season. I began by comparing the performance of 2018 rookie hitters with their sophomore stats. The main metrics that I used were WAR per 100 PAs and wRC+, the latter of which is a (superior in my opinion) alternative to OPS+. I performed analyses using paired-samples t-tests.

The mean wRC+ for the 62 rookies in 2018 was 94.6 (average is 100), while the mean for their sophomore seasons was 90.1, an insignificant (p = 0.42) decline. However, splitting the rookies into those with above average (n = 29) and average or below (n = 33) wRC+s in their rookie years yielded interesting results.

The above average group saw an almost 17 percent decrease in average wRC+ in their sophomore seasons, going from 121.1 to 100.7 (p < 0.005), barely above average anymore. On the other hand, the average or below group saw an almost 12 percent increase in their average wRC+, going from 71.4 to 80.9. However, this result was not significant (p = 0.22).

For WAR per 100 PAs, the mean for all 62 rookies was 0.255 in 2018 and dropped to 0.184 in 2019, an insignificant difference (p = 0.34).

The above average group (n = 28) saw a massive nearly 60 percent decrease, going from 0.63 to 0.26. For reference, average starters typically accrue 500 PAs per season and 2 WAR. On the flip side, the below average group performed slightly worse than replacement level in their rookie years (-0.06) and improved to 0.12 in their sophomore seasons. Still, the difference was far more significant in the above average group (p < 5^-5 vs. p = 0.089).

Basically, if you glazed over this numbers dump, I found that rookie position players on average saw small drops in their performance level. This was due almost entirely to hitters who were above average in their rookie year and fell off a cliff their sophomore season; hitters who were below average as newcomers improved the next year, but not nearly enough to offset the flagging performance of their (at least formerly) superior counterparts. Now prepare for another numbers dump.

Upon further investigation, I found that this effect replicated for 2018 rookie pitchers as well. I defined rookie pitchers as those who exceeded their rookie eligibility (50 innings pitched) that season. I used ERA- (similar

Answers to last week’s crossword puzzles

“Social Distancing”

By Reese Collins

“Wanna see a movie?”

By Greg Calidonna and Ian Rosevear

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

to ERA+, except lower is better; average is 100) and WAR per 100 batters faced (BF). A paired-samples t-test revealed that the average ERA- for rookie pitchers was 103.4, which increased to 111.3 their next season (a relatively insignificant difference; p = 0.10). For pitchers whose ERA- was below 100 their rookie season (n = 36; these were the above average performers), their average increased nearly 25 percent, a significant difference (p < 5^-5), from 79.4 to 104.9. Those who began their career with an ERA- of 100 or above (n = 36) saw their average decrease by only around 8 percent, an insignificant difference (p = 0.15), from 127.4 to 117.7.

For WAR per 100 BF, the average for the entire sample was about 0.20, which decreased markedly (p = 0.08) to 0.12 in 2019. But this effect was largely due to those who were above average for this metric (n = 36). They saw their WAR decrease by more than 46 percent, from an average of 0.39 to 0.21 year-to-year (p < 0.001). Those who came in at or below average saw a large relative improvement in performance, going from 0.001 to 0.04, but this insignificant (p = 0.36) 0.039 gain pales in comparison to the .18 loss for the former group.

Again, the key here is that rookie pitchers on average performed worse in their second year.

Largely, this was because pitchers who were above average as rookies struggled as sophomores. Pitchers who struggled as neophytes made gains the next season, but those gains didn’t outweigh the difficulties that the above average rookies faced.

Teams place more emphasis on assessing the strengths and weaknesses of their troublesome rookie opponents, especially during the offseason, and that is why the shift in their performance going into their second season is more precipitous than the shift for harmless foes, even though inept rookies began further from the mean in many instances than their well-to-do counterparts. Pure RTM would have likely shown the largest change for whoever started further away from the league and sample averages. Yet, the adjustment effect and RTM can also be thought of as one and the same; the inevitability of your opponents making adjustments is baked into RTM in baseball. But the significant difference in the shifts suggest that in the very least, RTM is sped up among the better rookies through increased emphasis on their styles of play.

March 4, 2021

SPORTS

Page 15

Sports world holds breath with Woods’ future in doubt after crash Jackie Molloy

D

Assistant Sports Editor

uring the final round of the WGC-Workday Championship on Sunday, there seemed to be a plethora of Tiger Woodses playing across the Florida grounds. The tournament doubled as a Tiger Woods cosplay convention. Several players wore that classic “championship red” golf shirt and black pant combination (sometimes topped with a black Nike hat). In actuality, it was a heartwarming “get-well-soon” moment from the golf world to Woods, who was involved in a serious car accident on Feb. 23 in Los Angeles that has left him with several injuries and his return to the sport in question.

Woods is no stranger to overcoming po-

“The seriousness of the crash and the reality that Woods was lucky to come out of it alive, no doubt recalled the tragedy of Kobe Bryant’s death just over a year ago.” tentially career-ending injuries and circumstances, but for this particular obstacle, the stakes are high even for him. Woods was already rehabbing his fifth back surgery since 2014 when his SUV crashed into a center divider, rolling over several times into a curb and then a tree before settling several hundred feet from the road. When emergency officials arrived, Woods was responsive, but the wreck was so severe that his extraction required a pry bar and an axe. After being transported to Harbor-UCLA Medical Center, it was announced he had suffered multiple open fractures and muscle trauma to his right

leg. Surgeons placed a rod into the tibia of his right leg, in addition to stabilizing injuries in his foot and ankle with pins and screws. He will continue his recovery at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, known for specializing in the rehabilitation of professional athletes.

Immediately after word broke about Woods’ accident, an outpouring of support came from fellow golf rivals and superstar athletes from all corners. Jack Nicklaus, Michael Phelps, Lindsey Vonn (his ex-girlfriend) and Magic Johnson, just to name a few, all offered prayers of support for a full recovery.

The seriousness of the crash, and the reality that Woods was lucky to come out of it alive, no doubt recalled the tragedy of Kobe Bryant’s death just over a year ago. The fact we could have lost another all-time great so prematurely and heartbreakingly, when his impact and influence was just beginning to be felt by a younger generation of athletes, causes a shiver down the spine that is hard to shake.

This painful setback for Woods comes as his hopes to compete at the Masters this April after a disappointing 2020 looked like they just might come to fruition. What’s more, Woods seemed to be truly enjoying golf again. In December he competed with his 11-year-old son Charlie at the PNC Championship. Fans immediately took to Woods’s mini-me—Charlie was near identical in his stance, swings and fist pumps. The pair finished seventh among 20 teams, but the prize of it all was Woods’ bursting happiness and pride at his son’s play, a smile and cheer the golf world had dearly missed. Due to restrictions at his club because of COVID-19, Woods was no longer allowed to play alongside his usual golf partners, so he brought on Charlie as his partner. Like so many of us during the pandemic, a rare positive facet was the chance to spend time with family, and this extended to the Woodses.

These past few years for Woods have also marked a change in his personality, especially in terms of his approach to younger competitors who grew up watching him. For the first half of his career, Woods was known for being a loner. He was perceived as unapproachable, ultra-competitive, cold, only opening up to a small group of friends. But with his persistent injuries, growing age and doubts about the longevity of his golf career, the 45-year-old Woods has lowered some of his walls, allowing the younger players like Justin Thomas and Rickie Fowler to pick his brain, accepting his role as an elder who was happy just to be there competing at all. Former pro player and golf analyst Paul Azinger recently explained that when he competed against Woods in the

“Woods has been finding solace again through active mentorship and fatherhood, playing so that his kids and students can watch and learn.” late 1990s to early 2000s, “Tiger was uncomfortable if you were comfortable with him.

With the kids now, Tiger is uncomfortable if you are not comfortable with him.” After all the scrutiny, pain and doubt he has experienced in the past decade, Woods has been finding solace again through active mentor-

Tiger Woods in his iconic Sunday red.

Courtesy of Rich Watts via Flickr. ship and fatherhood, playing so that his kids and students can watch and learn, and the sport has relished in his happiness.

Tiger Woods will go down in history as the quintessential comeback athlete. Towards the beginning of his pro days, he was one of the most dominant forces golf has ever seen, winning 14 of his 15 major titles by the age of 32.

He won the Career Grand Slam three times, tying Jack Nicklaus. Then, of course, came the infamous cheating scandal that damaged his reputation, after which his performance noticeably dropped. His first comeback was in 2013 and 2014, when he rose again to the number one ranking in the world. Subsequently, his persisting injuries began to get the best of him, forcing him to undergo four back surgeries in three years. And finally, he began to appear healthy again in 2018 and won his first major in 11 years at the 2019 Masters. With this recent accident, we truly have to consider whether we will see Woods competing again on a golf course. He doesn’t need another comeback to prove he is a legend. But if the outpouring of emotion from fans and competitors alike says anything, Tiger—you might not need the reminder—but the golf world really needs you to come back.

Juliette Pope/The Miscellany News.

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

March 4, 2021

CROSSWORD The Miscellany Crosswords

“Ben & Jerry’s at Vassar” ACROSS 1. Perish 4. Text laugh 8. Sent a letter 14. B&B cousin 15. Reverse of a Closed sign 16. Not on the injured list 17. Syphilis, e.g.

18. Not spicy 19. Sunglasses 20. Gordon Commons goes to bits?

23. Sea that was 24. Orion’s lover 25. Twitter echoes, abbr.

28. Time/money put in 33. North American waterbird 34. Matrix protagonist 35. ____ crush on 36. “To whom _____ concern...”

37. Residential house hosts Eric Clapton’s former band?

41. Special delivery 42. Cannes currency 43. Bot, in gamer lingo 45. Snake eyes 46. Schwarzenegger’s famous role 49. Bottom of the sea 50. Spoil 51. Baklava dough 52. Cooperative living arrangement has a Grateful new occupant?

57. Fork in hand 60. “Once ____ a time...”

61. QB stat, abbr.

62. Raymond or Hooker

1. “You ___ not pass!”

6. Opera star 10. Meticulous 14. Unsettling 15. Thoroughfare 16. Thrown hunting weapon 17. *Instructions for a flash mob, maybe 19. Dry 20. Unaccompanied 21. Mathematician Turing 23. Cost-of-living stat.

25. *Before the fourth period bell, maybe 30. Classic Ladd western 32. Summer drink finisher 33. One who is toast 34. Barnyard breakfast 35. Points of convergence 37. Beverage brewed outdoors 38. Abduction suspects?

39. Fidgety 41. Asner and Norton 42. Widen, as pants 44. Hudson Valley college 45. Subfield of Linguistics and CompSci 46. Satyrs’ Roman counterparts 47. Crib noise 48. Hoodwinks 50. *Requirement for properly socially distanced insect gatherings, maybe 53. Roadside bomb, for short 54. Foul foot fragrance 55. Catch 57. Like DnD but outside

By Reese Collins

63. Like a kitten 64. Third largest kind of whale 65. Abhor 66. Acquainted with 67. Airport security

DOWN 1. Contempt 2. Destructive to both sides 3. Tried 4. It may cause sickness 5. Honey bee genus 6. Aid 7. “The King ____” 8. Bucky Badger or Brutus Buckeye 9. Is sore 10. “Take ____ a compliment!”

11. Top 12. Apple & ___ (juice brand) 13. ___ Moines 21. Cavs, on the scoreboard 22. Poet’s nightfall 25. Idealist 26. Specialities of Bounce! Poughkeepsie 27. Utter 29. “Quiet!”

30. Mai ___ 31. Old internet portal 32. Like a beaver, per a saying 33. Sault ___ Marie, MI 36. You pump it at a gym 38. Multidisciplinary major 39. ___ Lock (possible key on right of keyboard) 40. Shout, in France

“Intentional” ACROSS

Page 16

41. Marley or Ross 44. Zagreb’s country 46. Popular store 47. Make a mistake 48. Dakar’s cont.

50. Dinner directions 52. $$$ punishment

53. “Eww!” 54. Like a top, usually 55. ____ jail (Monopoly card) 56. Once more 57. Type of joke or rock 58. Suffix with mass or instruct 59. Tennis divider

By Ian Rosevear and Greg Calidonna

60. Two fifty, or a hint to the makeup of each of the starred answers 65. Type of latte that can be made dirty 66. Instead 67. One speeding behind a boat, perhaps 68. ___ golf 69. Wallop 70. Pop up

DOWN 1. It’s filled with salt 2. Cis companion, often 3. Like a pineapple on a table, or a banana stapled to a wall 4. ___ wait (lurks) 5. It starts on Ash Wednesday 6. “RuPaul’s ___” 7. Charged particle 8. Relinquish 9. “21” singer 10. Leave high and dry 11. It’s found with neither 12. “Aladdin” prince 13. Young fellow 18. Fist bump relative 22. Shard-edged 23. French manor 24. Summary of compensation 26. Installment 27. Fiery 28. Picked on or poked at 29. Gets (it) 30. Flat storage units (var.)

31. Gave off

36. Tiny scrap 37. Catch rays 40. Sound of a tail?

43. Pertinent 47. Steve of “The Office” 49. Member of a Turkic people of Asia 51. Jottings 52. ___-cone

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

56. Word of encouragement 57. TV type 58. Sushi tuna 59. University dorm VIPs 61. Secretive org.

62. Slugger’s stat.

63. Suffix with “employ” 64. Before, of yore