grapevine
Chateau Calistoga
Chateau Calistoga Mobile Home Park
223 Champagne West
Calistoga, CA 94515
(707) 942-5101
Park Staff:
Shawn Smith: Park Manager
LisaMarie Smith: Office Manager
Kathy Noel: Office Assistant
Cebreena Oliver: Office Assistant
Office Hours: 9:00 AM – 11:30 AM 1:00 PM – 3:00 PM Monday to Friday. (Holidays Excepted)
Margarito & Silvia Ramirez: Weekend Assistant Park Managers
Please make rent checks out in the exact amount to “Chateau Calistoga Mobile Home Park”. Include space # on the memo line and return to the office along with the stub.
2026-2027 CCHO Board:
President
Vice-President
Steve Greenfield
Brian Moucka
Treasurer Karen Shicora
Secretary Debbie Fradelizio
Ph: (408) 691-0123
Ph: (707) 888-2881
Ph: (707) 341-3376
Ph: (707) 688-7572
All board members can be reached via email at ChateauCalistogaHomeowners@gmail.com
Grapevine Submissions:
All submissions must be in by the 8th of the month to be included in the following month’s issue of the Grapevine.
We welcome articles, recipes, news, stories, gossip! Send to ChateauCalistogaHomeowners@gmail.com
Email us to add your birthday or anniversary! Editors: Brett & Eileen Zamora, Diane Kuykendall
CCHO President’s Message
Greetings, fellow residents. It’s June 4th, and I’m writing my message for July. Happy 4th of July! I hope everyone is enjoying the summer. I have to say that I have been tempted to take a dip in the pool. Maybe you will see me there!
Our CCHO elections for our 2026 board was a success! I want to thank this year’s Nominating Committee for reaching out to our residents in our search for volunteers. Thank you, Lisa Berry, Jubal “Hornblower” Schmedtje, and Susan Thorton.
I also want to thank our new Board members! Our wonderful community is a better place thanks to residents who are willing to volunteer their time not only to make all of our lives a little more fun and a little easier, but, as many of you know, we are here to be your advocate when you feel something is not fair.
Thank you, Brian Moucka, for volunteering to be our Vice President. Thank you, Debbie Fradelizio, aka Ice Cream Mike’s wife, for taking on the position of Secretary, and thank you, Karen Shicora, our new Treasurer. I am looking forward to working with all of you!
I also want to thank our outgoing board members. Thank you, Deborah Todd, for stepping up and being my right-hand person after Molly resigned. It was a challenging time, and I appreciated your experience and calm demeanor. Thank you, Susan Thornton, for hanging in there as our Secretary. I know it wasn’t easy.
I want to thank our wonderful volunteers who continue to serve our residents year after year.
Marlys Gilmore continues to host our fun monthly birthday parties. She also orchestrated our NYE parties for years. Marlys, who has served on our Board in past years, always attends our meetings. She is a wealth of helpful knowledge and is very much appreciated.
Joy Henderson is the sole member of the Welcoming Committee. Thank you for being so easy to work with.
Rose LeClerc, who is also a previous Board President and regular attendee of our meetings, has been an active volunteer for years. She oversees our Chateau farmer’s market and, for almost 6 years, has managed the “Files for Life” program. Thank you….and David for all you do.
Brett & Eileen Zamora, thank you for churning out our Grapevine publication every month!
Updates:
I have confirmed that a new resident phone book is on Cebreena & Kathy’s list. Our current directory is from 2023.
Also, the clubhouse will be getting a new TV!!
As always, if you have any comments or concerns, please reach out to me at ChateauCalistogaHomeowners@gmail.com. We also have a group email. Let me know if you want to be added so you can stay updated on everything happening in our community.
Steve Greenfield, CCHO President ChateauCalistogaHomeowners@Gmail.com
Ø Birthday Potluck open to all Chateau residents. Please bring something to share.
Ø All events in Clubhouse unless otherwise noted.
9:00 AM
1:00 PM
9:00 AM
1:00 PM
9:00 AM
Pool Table Night 5:00 – 8:00 PM
Fiber Group 11 AM – 1 PM Wine Share 5:00 PM
Group Calistoga Roastery 11 AM – 1 PM
Wine Share 5:00 PM Chateau’s Farmers Market 2:30-3:00 PM
Table Night 5:00 – 8:00 PM Fiber Group 11 AM – 1 PM Wine Share 5:00 PM
9:00 AM
1:00 PM
Table Night 5:00 – 8:00 PM
Group Calistoga Roastery 11 AM – 1 PM
Wine Share 5:00 PM
Table Night 5:00 – 8:00 PM
Group 11 AM – 1 PM
Wine Share 5:00 PM
July
2026
Birthdays and Anniversaries
Everyone is invited to the monthly Birthday Potluck at the Clubhouse on Monday, July 13th at noon. Bring a dish!
July Birthdays:
1: Michelle Gillmore
4: Mike Oliver
6: Roxanne Bell
7: William Craig
14: Gina Cerda
15: Sam Dennison
20: Debbie Fisher
22: Deborah Fradelizio
23: Jubal Schmedtje
24: Eileen Zamora
24: Olga Quintana
28: Mark Lehnhoff
29: Carla Taylor
July Anniversaries:
2. Lin & John Barrios
4: Sally & Curtis Smith
If we have missed your birthday/anniversary and you would like it added please email ChateauCalistogaHomeowners@gmail.com
Announcements
For those interested, there are several live music options that take place in downtown Calistoga on weekends and some weeknights Some of the establishments that offer live music are:
• Calistoga Inn (Weekends & some weeknights)
• Romeo Vineyards Tasting Room (Weekends)
• Hydro Grill (Tuesdays & Sundays)
• Robert’s Tropical Table (Weekends)
• Lincoln Avenue Brewery (Weekends)
• Buster’s BBQ Grill (Sunday Afternoon)
Have an announcement, story, photo, poem, or other tidbit, you’d like published? Please send an e-mail to ChateauCalistogaHomeowners@gmail.com. Articles must be submitted by the 8th of the month in order to be included in the following month’s Grapevine.
Poets Corner…
Tribute
March on I Say If it be thy Doom and pay your debt to Thee Fight for right and Freedom here and all your Liberty
Soon you’ll rest your weary Soul atop a Little hill now Loved Say is left to you as payment to fulfill with This in mind You hear Them say march on to your Final Day
Submitted By: Don Hammack
Rest In Peace
Beyond the fading sun
Below the drying sea
Within the many stars
The answer which we seek Beneath the earthen core
Above the cloudy skies
Within a little drop of rain
There is an answer why Ahead there lies a peaceful land
Which seems our final goal
To answer only to our death
To rest our weary soul.
File of Life
• Help rescue workers quickly find important medical information when every second counts.
• Red plastic holder (envelope) has a built-in magnet so it can be placed on your refrigerator.
• The 3-fold card has space to fill in medical condition, medication, insurance information, emergency contacts, and more.
Several years ago I spearheaded a project to bring this very important program to our residents. The data cards need to be updated about every 6 months, or when medications or medical conditions change.
It’s time for all of us to get these data cards out and make sure the information is current. If you do not have one of these red envelopes, please let me know and I will be happy to get you what you need.
Call or text me at 707-494-6422. Rose LeClerc Materials this time were funded by CCHO.
6 Foods That Aren’t Safe To Keep as Leftovers
This article was written by Fred Decker and published on the public website “BetterReport”. Source link: https://betterreport.com/foods-that-arent-safe-to-keep-as-leftovers/
The refrigerator changed our relationship to food in ways that, in retrospect, are hard to imagine. Just picture how much harder it would have been to feed your family if you didn’t have the option of keeping meats, produce, and leftovers in the fridge. Most leftovers would have been seriously high-risk except in winter; the only time it would be cold enough to keep them at food-safe temperatures.
Today, most leftovers are safe if handled correctly — emphasis on the word “if.” From a former chef and food safety trainer, here are six kinds of high-risk leftovers you may want to think twice about keeping.
Seafood, Especially Shellfish and Crustaceans
You should be especially careful with fish and shellfish, partly because they’re among the most perishable proteins you can build a meal around, and partly because they may host some nasty pathogens that can make you sick. These include listeria, salmonella, and E. coli, as well as norovirus, hepatitis A, and the Vibrio family (which can cause cholera, among other things).
This doesn’t mean you can’t have seafood leftovers you should be OK if you follow the FDA’s guidelines for buying and handling seafood and the USDA’s guidance for handling leftovers. But if you didn’t have those oysters or shrimp in a cooler when you left the store, or if the leftovers sat out on a summer afternoon, you’d be smarter to discard them.
Rice and Other Grain Dishes
When you think of foods that are high-risk from the food poisoning perspective, you probably think of things like eggs or poultry. Rice? Not so much. But leftover rice can actually be problematic if it isn’t packed up and refrigerated ASAP after your meal. This is due to Bacillus cereus, which is often present in the grain.
B. cereus forms both heat-resistant spores which can survive cooking and a heat-stable toxin, which means it can make you sick even if you reheat your leftovers to the recommended 165 degrees Fahrenheit. It’s rarely fatal, but it’ll definitely make you regret your choice. Though it’s primarily associated with rice, B. cereus can also be found in other starchy foods, including pasta and potatoes. The longer these foods linger above food-safe temperatures, the more time B. cereus spores have to come back to life, multiply, and produce toxins that will make us sick. Cool those foods quickly by getting them into the fridge as soon as you’re done eating. And if they’ve been left out for more than a couple of hours, toss them for a couple of days.
Page 1 of 3
Big, Rich Casseroles
Casseroles are a great meal option, whether you think of them as an easy prep -ahead dinner or a can’t-miss contribution to a potluck. By nature, though, they’re often problematic in leftover form. There are a few reasons for this:
The Mix of Ingredients
Most casseroles contain some combination of milk or cream, eggs, cheese, meats, and a starchy base that might be potatoes, grain, or pasta. All of those rich, high-protein ingredients are a prime breeding ground for pathogens like salmonella or norovirus, and the starchy base can host B. cereus.
Retained Heat
A big casserole, and the pan you bake it in, can retain heat for a long time. Once it enters the food safety “danger zone” temperatures between 40 and 140 degrees Fahrenheit bacteria can reproduce freely. It’s important to cool your leftovers as quickly as possible, so your best bet is to divide the casserole into small containers and refrigerate them as soon as the meal is finished.
The Social Aspect
Casseroles can easily cool enough to slip into the danger zone at potlucks or holiday gatherings. If they sit out for a couple of hours as people graze and chat, and then come home with you, your chances of illness will rise sharply.
Not Reheating Adequately
For leftovers to be reliably safe, you need to reheat them to 165 degrees Fahrenheit throughout. The only way to know that for sure is to use a thermometer and check the food in several places before you eat it. Microwaves provide uneven heating, so it’s important to let microwaved food sit for a couple of minutes so the temperature can even out before you test.
Poultry
Chicken is a really popular meal option in the U.S., but it’s also responsible for a lot of illness. The CDC estimates that infected chicken alone sickens about a million Americans each year, and poultry is collectively responsible for almost one in five cases of food poisoning. Raw chicken is prone to infection by various strains of salmonella, campylobacter, and Clostridium perfringens, none of which are anybody’s idea of a good time.
So if, for example, your chicken or turkey was infected to begin with and you didn’t cook it to a food-safe temperature; or you handled utensils or surfaces that had been in contact with the raw bird, and then put away the leftovers without washing your hands in between, then your leftovers will be primed for bacterial growth by the time they make it to the fridge. If you don’t then reheat your leftovers to the recommended 165 degrees Fahrenheit, you may find yourself calling in to work with a case of food poisoning.
Page 2 of 3
Appetizers, Dips, and Party Foods in General
Some of the most problematic leftovers are the appetizers, dips, and other treats you prepare when you’re entertaining. Many of the issues with casseroles apply to party foods as well, especially hot dips. The biggest problem with party foods is that they’re usually left out for extended periods, so guests can help themselves over time as they feel inclined.
Two hours in the danger zone is as long as any food can safely be left out (and that drops to one hour if the ambient temperature is over 90 degrees Fahrenheit). It’s not uncommon to leave food out for much longer than that at parties. So unless you’re careful to keep hot foods above 140 degrees and cold foods below 40 degrees, as professionals do for buffets and catering, it’s safest just to discard those leftovers. You may get away with it repeatedly, but sooner or later your luck will run out.
Big-Batch Meals
This final example is a little bit ironic. If you periodically cook up large batches of a favorite food so it’s available for quick meals (“made-aheads” rather than leftovers), you may be setting yourself up for trouble. To be clear, I’m not saying you shouldn’t do this I often make big batches myself; it’s really practical but you need to be diligent about food safety
If you’ve read this far, you’ve probably picked up on most of the important rules to keep leftovers food safe:
• Wash your hands, utensils, and work surfaces after handling high-risk ingredients like raw egg or meat.
• Keep those high-risk ingredients away from anything you’ll eat raw, like your side salads.
• Cook your food to the recommended temperature, and test it with a thermometer to be sure.
• Cool your food quickly once it’s made. (Portion it into smaller, flatter containers so heat can easily escape a whole casserole will stay warm and linger in the danger zone, even when it’s in the fridge.)
• Refrigerate or freeze the food ASAP so it doesn’t sit out past the two -hour mark.
• Don’t keep leftovers in the fridge for more than three to four days.
• Thaw the food safely.
• Reheat your meals to 165 degrees Fahrenheit before eating them. Those guidelines are the result of long, bitter experience and high -quality research, so if you stick to them, you can feel confident about eating most leftovers or prepped-ahead meals.
Submitted By: Cyndi Jung
Coming to UpStage Napa Valley in July… A psychological thriller that inspired the term “gaslighting”.
“I heard footsteps. The lights changed. Why doesn’t anyone believe me?” Tickets available at https://www.UpStageNapaValley.org
Vine
UpValley Link – a lifeline transportation program for Calistoga, St.
Helena and Yountville residents
This article was published on the public website “VineTransit”.
Source link: https://vinetransit.com/upvalleylink/?mc_cid=e2cff3a1e6&mc_eid=02b61cfcdd
The Vine UpValley Link program is a taxpayer-funded transportation service designed to help seniors and residents with disabilities reach essential destinations outside the existing Vine Transit and VineGo Paratransit service areas. While the program is not intended to serve as a participant’s primary source of transportation, it helps fill critical mobility gaps for eligible residents in Yountville, St. Helena, and Calistoga. Participants receive a reloadable PEX card that can only be used for Uber or Lyft rides. Trips may travel anywhere including outside Napa County as long as the cost does not exceed the available card balance. The Napa Valley Transportation Authority subsidizes the program by matching participant contributions dollar-for-dollar, up to $50 per month. This means users can have up to $100 added to their PEX card each month. Any unused balance rolls over and does not expire.
The Vine UpValley Link launches July 1, 2026 – check back for more details and a program application.
The program was developed following NVTA’s 2025 Accessible Transportation Needs Assessment, which identified transportation barriers for seniors and people with disabilities and called for expanded mobility options beyond traditional fixed -route transit service.
Shared by our friend Kathy Shaw
Calistoga Beauty
Sharing some of the beauty that I’ve seen around the Calistoga area. Photographed by Brett Zamora.
Stop Cheese From Going Bad Before You Can Finish It
This article was written by Fred Decker and published on the public website “HouseOutlook”. Source link: https://houseoutlook.com/freezing-cheese/
Cheese is one of the all-time great culinary inventions, turning plain old milk into thousands of tasty, mealenhancing variations. As a bonus, it lasts much longer than fresh milk and can even be aged for years in the right environment. Of course, most of us don’t store whole wheels in a cheese cellar; instead, we keep relatively small pieces in the fridge. Even so, it sometimes feels like it’s only a matter of days before we find moldy nastiness instead of the savory treat we were craving. Fortunately, there’s a simple, proven way to keep your cheese from spoiling before you can finish it.
Freezing Cheese Keeps It Fresh for Months
If you went hog-wild at your favorite fromagerie or just got a really good deal on extra sharp cheddar at the supermarket freezing is a great way to save some of it for later. This is especially helpful for shredded cheese, because all that exposed surface area makes it especially vulnerable to mold spores.
The preservation process is simple. Unopened, factory -sealed cheese can go straight into the freezer in its original packaging. If you’re dealing with opened cheese, wrap it tightly in plastic wrap or better yet, especially for shredded varieties store it inside a vacuum-sealed bag. Label and date your package, then place the plastic -wrapped cheese into a sturdy freezer bag or an airtight, freezer-safe container. Keeping all of your frozen cheeses in a single bag or container will ensure nothing gets lost in the back of the freezer.
It’s Not Forever, and Not All Cheeses Freeze Well
Freezing cheese will technically keep it edible indefinitely, but “edible” and “enjoyable” aren’t the same thing. In practice, it’s best used within two to three months, and six months is about the outside limit — though you’ll get a bit more time with vacuum-
sealed cheese. Its texture will change slightly, turning a bit crumblier, but it will taste just fine.
Another key detail is that some cheeses freeze much better than others. Moisture content is your surest guide here. Hard and semihard cheeses have a relatively low moisture content, so freezing doesn’t affect them too badly. Soft and fresh cheeses are wetter and freeze poorly.
Good options: Parmesan and other hard grating cheeses, cheddar, low-moisture mozzarella, Monterey Jack, feta, and most blue cheeses.
Bad options: Cream cheese, brie, Camembert, burrata, mascarpone, ricotta, cottage cheese, queso fresco, and fresh goat cheese.
You may find it useful to freeze cheese in single -use portions, so you can pull out just as much as you need at a time. For the best results, thaw your portion overnight in the fridge before using.
Submitted By: Cyndi Jung
Cheesy One-Liners & Riddles…
What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese!
Why wouldn't the cheese go sliced? It had grater plans.
What do you call a dinosaur made of cheese? Gorgonzilla!
What kind of music does cheese listen to? R 'n' Brie.
What did one cheese say to the other? I'm quite fondue you.
Did you hear about the explosion in the French cheese factory? All that was left was de Brie!
Submitted By: {Name withheld*} via Google
*Rumor has it that the Grapevine Editor may have been involved in this madness!
DAKGANGJEONG.
Pieces of crisp well-seasoned chicken coated with a sticky sweet-salty umami-rich glaze. The ingredient that makes this sauce so special is Gochujang paste, a Korean fermented hot pepper paste. Don’t let that scare you. The sauce is delicious and not spicy hot.
Recipe by Cecilia Hae-Jin Lee
Ingredients:
4 to 6 servings
1 small yellow onion, coarsely grated
2 garlic cloves, minced
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
8 to 10 boneless, skinless chicken thighs, quartered
1/2 cup flour
2/3 cup cornstarch
Salt and pepper
Oil for deep frying ( I like peanut oil)
Directions:
Sauce:
3 tablespoons gochujang paste
4 tablespoons ketchup
5 tablespoons sugar
Juice of 1/2 lemon
2 tablespoons toasted sesame seeds, plus more for garnish
Toss the chicken with the grated onion, garlic and salt and pepper and marinate for at least 30 minutes in refrigerator.
Pour oil in a large heavy pot to a depth of 11/2 inches. Heat to 350 degrees.
Mix the flour and cornstarch in a shallow bowl and season with salt and pepper.
Working in batches to avoid crowding, lift chicken from marinade, dredge in seasoned flour and cornstarch. Fry for 5 to 6 minutes. Keep temperature at 350. Do not overcook. Because of using cornstarch, chicken will not brown much.
Drain on paper towels. Repeat with remaining chicken. Check oil temperature between batches.
Mix the glaze (sauce) ingredients in a large bowl. Add the hot chicken and carefully turn to coat all the pieces. Sprinkle with toasted sesame seeds.
Serve immediately.
Tip: Gochujang chili paste is available in Asian stores in Santa Rosa or online. This Korean chicken is always a hit with guests!
Recipe submitted by Marlys Gilmore
Editor’s Note: We continue to republish this poster because it promotes a wonderful and economical way for our Chateau residents to get out and enjoy many of the local cuisines. Thanks Rose, for this great information. Enjoy!!
Puzzles and Word Games you can
Cookout
APRON BEANS BRATS
CATSUP
CHERRY COALS
COLESLAW CORN EMBERS FIRE FISH
GAS GRILL
HAMBURGER HOT DOG
INDIRECT
KEBABS MOP
PACKET PEPPERS PIT PORK RACK RELISH RIBS ROTISSERIE RUB SAUCE SEAR SKEWERS SMOKER STEAKS THERMOMETER TONGS WINGS WOOD CHIPS
Across 1.Let go of 5.Everyone
8.Days of ___ 9.Stare
11.Barely beat 12.Creche trio
13.Took gas out of a tank
15.___ Solo of "Star Wars"
16.Opened, in a way
21.Window feature
22.Aroma
24.Chill
25.Lazily
26."For ___ a jolly ..."
27.After curfew
Down 1.Blonde's secret, maybe 2.Fishing equipment
3.Bacchanalia
4.Found in doors
5.Used by massage therapists
6.Student aid
7.Balcony section
10.Youngster
How to Swim
14."2001" computer
16.___ Today
17.Approaching
18.Chimney channel
19.Icelandic epic
20.Airhead
23."The Catcher in the ___"
The title is a clue to the shaded word in the diagonal.
The headline is a clue to the answer in the diagonal.
LIFEGUARD Wordoku
How to solve wordoku puzzles
You only need logic and patience to solve a wordoku.
Simply make sure that each 3x3 square region has only one letter from the word LIFEGUARD. Similarly, each letter can only appear once in a column or row in
the larger grid. The difficulty on this puzzle is easy.
TRIVIA TEASER
Hold Still
1.Which actress won the 2015 Academy Award for Best Actress for playing a linguistics professor with early-onset Alzheimer’s in the film Still Alice? a-Cate Blanchett, b-Julianne Moore, c-Meryl Streep, d-Sandra Bullock.
2.Which U.S. President’s dying words were “Thomas Jefferson still survives”? a-John Adams, b-John Quincy Adams, cJames Monroe, d-George Washington.
3. Which Biblical character commanded the sun to stand still in the sky? a-Moses, b-Job, c-Daniel, d-Joshua.
4. In which city does the spaceship land in the 1950s sci-fi movie The Day The Earth Stood Still? a-Orlando, Florida, bNewark, New Jersey, c-London, England, d-Washington, D.C.
5.Which singer produced four top 40 hits off his 1975 album “Still Crazy After All These Years”? a-James Taylor, b-Paul Simon, c-Neil Diamond, d-Neil Sedaka.
6. In which movie did John Wayne play Matt Matthews, an Ozark character who runs a moonshine still? a-The Fighting Kentuckian, b-The Quiet Man, c-They Were Expendable, d-The Shepherd of the Hills.
7.Which girl group had a No. 1 hit in 1961 with “Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?” a-The Marvelettes, b-The Honey Cone, c-The Shirelles, d-The Cookies.
8.Stillwater was the name of the fictional rock band in which movie? a-Almost Famous, b-Rock Star, c-The School of Rock, d-The Phantom of the Paradise.
9.Defensive end Art Still was the second overall player taken in the 1978 NFL Draft and became an immediate starter for which NFL team, making the NFL All-Rookie Team in 1978? a-Minnesota Vikings, b-Oakland Raiders, c-Kansas City Chiefs, d-Dallas Cowboys.
10.The painting “Still Life with Apples” fetched a record $28.6 million in 1993 for a work by which artist? a-Edgar Degas, b-Vincent Van Gogh, c-Mary Cassatt, dPaul Cezanne.
11.Which actress played Mark Addy’s mother on the sitcom Still Standing? a-Sally Struthers, b-Bonnie Franklin, cLoretta Swit, d-Raquel Welch.
QUOTES
4th of JULY quotes
My God! How little do my countrymen know what precious blessings they are in possession of, and which no other people on earth enjoy!
Thomas Jefferson
Freedom has its life in the hearts, the actions, the spirit of men and so it must be daily earned and refreshed, else like a flower cut from its life-giving roots, it will wither and die.
Dwight D. Eisenhower
This, then, is the state of the union: free and restless, growing and full of hope. So it was in the beginning. So it shall always be, while God is willing, and we are strong enough to keep the faith.
Lyndon B. Johnson
All we have of freedom, all we use or know, This our fathers bought for us long and long ago.
Rudyard Kipling, "The Old Issue," 1899
America is much more than a geographical fact. It is a political and moral fact - the first community in which men set out in principle to institutionalize freedom, responsible government, and human equality.
Adlai Stevenson
May the sun in his course visit no land more free, more happy, more lovely, than this, our own country!
Daniel Webster
Where liberty dwells, there is my country.
Benjamin Franklin
It is the love of country that has lighted and that keeps glowing the holy fire of patriotism.
J.Horace McFarland
Yesterday is not ours to recover, but tomorrow is ours to win or to lose.
Lyndon B. Johnson
The Lighter Side
Traffic Court
A woman was found guilty in traffic court and when asked her occupation, she said she was a schoolteacher. The judge rose from the bench. "Madam, I have waited years for a schoolteacher to appear before this court."
He smiled with delight. "Now sit down at that table and write 'I will not run a red light' five hundred times."
Two Guys From Chicago
Two guys die and wake up in hell. The next day, the devil stops to check on them and sees them dressed in parkas, mittens and bomber hats, warming themselves around the fire.
The devil: "What are you doing? Isn't hell hot enough for you?"
The guys reply, "Well, you know, we're from Chicago, Illinois, the land of ice and snow and cold. We're just happy for a chance to warm up a bit."
The devil is absolutely furious. He decides to turn off all the heat.
The next morning, it's below zero in hell. There are icicles everywhere and people are shivering so bad they are unable to wail and moan.
The devil smiles and heads for the room with the two Chicagoans. He finds them jumping up and down and cheering.
One exclaims, "When hell freezes over, that can mean just one thing: The Cubs won the World Series!"
Answers to 'Hold Still' 1-b, Julianne Moore
2-a, John Adams
3-d, Joshua 4-d, Washington, D.C.
5-b, Paul Simon
6-d, The Shepherd of the Hills
7-c, The Shirelles
8-a, Almost Famous 9-c, Kansas City Chiefs
10-d, Paul Cezanne
11-a, Sally Struthers
July 2026 Calendar
NATIONAL ICE CREAM MONTH.
DISABILITY PRIDE MONTH.
NATIONAL HOT DOG MONTH.
NATIONAL WATERMELON MONTH.
NATIONAL PARK AND RECREATION MONTH.
NATIONAL GRILLING MONTH.
NATIONAL INDEPENDENT LIVING MONTH, IDFA.ORG.
Events
1, Canada Day.
1, International Joke Day.
2, World UFO Day. Recognizes the fascination with extraterrestrial life, often tied to the 1947 Roswell incident; encourages sky-watching and discussions on alien existence.
3, Battle of Gettysburg ended, 1863. The Civil War's turning point, a 163-year milestone significant for its lasting impact on U.S. history; Union victory halted Confederate advances.
3-8, Sail4th 250 — New York Harbor. The largest-ever flotilla of tall ships from more than 20 nations gathers in the Port of New York and New Jersey for America's 250th, with a parade of sail, an International Naval Review, and a Blue Angels flyover.
3-11, Dog Days of Summer.
3, Times Square Ball Drop. For the first time outside New Year's Eve, the Times Square Ball drops at midnight to count down to America's 250th Independence Day.
4, Independence Day. America's 250th birthday. Celebrates the adoption of the Declaration of Independence in 1776, with a year-long Semiquincentennial commemoration coordinated by America250.
4, Salute to America 250 — Washington, D.C. A daylong gathering on the National Mall featuring keynote remarks, military
and cultural ceremonies, and what organizers call the largest pyrotechnics display in U.S. history.
4, Tour de France begins, 2026. The 113th edition starts with a team time trial in Barcelona and finishes in Paris on July 26.
4-5, America's Block Party. Communities nationwide host coordinated neighborhood gatherings and live music as part of the America250 celebrations.
5, Bikini debuted, 1946.
7, World Chocolate Day. Commemorates the introduction of chocolate to Europe in 1550; celebrated with chocolate-themed events and indulgence globally.
10-14, MLB All-Star Week — Philadelphia. The 96th Midsummer Classic returns to Philadelphia for America's 250th, echoing the 1976 All-Star Game played in the city during the bicentennial. Events run from the HBCU Swingman Classic on July 10 to the All-Star Game on July 14 at Citizens Bank Park.
11-16, Sail250 Boston. Tall ships from more than 25 countries dock along Boston Harbor with public ship tours, a Parade of Sail, and waterfront celebrations.
13, T-Mobile Home Run Derby. Citizens Bank Park, Philadelphia.
14, Bastille Day, 1789. French Revolution's storming of the Bastille, a 237-year milestone.
14, MLB All-Star Game. Citizens Bank Park, Philadelphia.
15, World Youth Skills Day.
16, Apollo 11 launched, 1969. NASA's mission to the moon began, a 57-year milestone; led to the first human moon landing, a landmark in space exploration.
16, National Hot Dog Day.
17, World Emoji Day. Emojis were first popularized in the late 1990s.
18, Nelson Mandela International Day. UN
day honoring Mandela's legacy of peace and equality, encouraging 67 minutes of community service.
19, First Women's Rights Convention, 1848. Seneca Falls Convention, a 178-year milestone.
20, Moon Landing, 1969. Apollo 11 astronauts Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin walked on the moon 57 years ago.
22, World Brain Day. Promotes awareness of neurological disorders and brain health.
22, Pi Approximation Day. Celebrates the mathematical constant (22/7 in date format); marked by math enthusiasts with puzzles and educational events.
22-26, San Diego Comic-Con. Preview Night July 22, with the main event July 23-26 at the San Diego Convention Center.
24, Pioneer Day (Utah). Commemorates Mormon pioneers' arrival in the Salt Lake Valley in 1847.
25, Korean War began, 1950. North Korea's invasion of South Korea started the conflict, a 76-year milestone shaping Cold War geopolitics.
26, Americans with Disabilities Act signed, 1990. U.S. legislation prohibiting disability discrimination, a 36-year milestone.
26, Tour de France ends. The 113th edition concludes on the Champs-Élysées in Paris with a route through Montmartre.
28, World Hepatitis Day.
28, World Nature Conservation Day.
29, July full moon. Buck Moon.
29, International Tiger Day.
30, International Day of Friendship.
31, National Mutt Day, Web: nationalmuttday.com. Also celebrated Dec. 2.
31, World Ranger Day. Honors park rangers' role in protecting natural and cultural heritage.
