At The Table - September 2017

AT THE

THE DAD ISSUE

REAL WOMEN | REAL CONVERSATIONS | REAL ISSUES

SEPTEMBER 2017

how to RAISE FUTURE FATHERS WHEN

MUMS ARE DADS

Daddy

day care

contents

REAL WOMEN | REAL CONVERSATIONS | REAL ISSUES

SEPTEMBER 2017

love

Jo in us

18 18

8 GOOD DADS, BAD DADS 18 DADDY DAY CARE Diary of a stay-at-home father.

28 DO BORING Tips from that "How to Dad" bloke.

34 FATHER'S DAY

SHOUTOUTS

From our show's panellists.

nurture

12

6 MEET THE PANELLISTS

FROM THE SHOW

10 ASK THE EXPERTS 15 WOULD YOU...

Hire a male nanny?

16 MANDI MAKES Vapour shower melts; allpurpose cleaner; body butter; flu bomb.

22 WORKOUT WITH ALISHA How to get fit with your partner.

30 COOKING WITH GIA &

15

10

PANELLISTS Fiona, Rachel, Shona, Melody, Rachel and Maryellen discuss a range of topics including current events, issues and family life.

OLIVE

Vegan nacho "cheese" sauce; sushi balls; black bean pudding; fancy hummus.

12

thrive

12 WHEN MUMS ARE DADS Parenting alone isn't easy, but sometimes necessary.

24 RAISING FUTURE

FATHERS

How to help your son grow into a man you can be proud of.

32 BOOK CORNER

PLUS healthy recipes, exercise tips, DIY projects and awesome hacks for around the home.

find us on social media @thetabletvshow

#thetabletvshow

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EDITOR Melody Tan COPYEDITOR Tracey Bridcutt 150 Fox Valley Road Wahroonga NSW 2076 thetabletv.com

@ thetabletvshow

GRAPHIC DESIGN Theodora Amuimuia SEND ALL LETTERS AND SUBMISSIONS TO: At The Table magazine PO Box 1115, Wahroonga, NSW 2076 or email editorial@thetabletv.com

FREE MONTHLY COPY Julie Laws JulieLaws@adventistmedia.org.au +61 2 9847 2248 At The Table magazine is available free of charge thanks to generous donations. We ask you to pass it on to your friends after you are finished with it.

COVER PHOTO

by Nick Lindsay VOLUME 1 NUMBER 1

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PUBLISHER At The Table is a product of

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September 2017

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J

editor

ust over a year ago, the life I thought I would have took a drastically different turn—I gave birth to our son. He was a slightly belated birthday present we chose to name Elliott.

Our first year of parenthood was tumultuous, but also filled with so much joy. What I learned the most was the reason why God deemed marriage to be a partnership. In the early months, without my husband taking over all the chores, allowing (sometimes forcing) me to rest whenever possible, I’m not sure how I would have maintained my sanity.

So in our inaugural issue of At The Table magazine, serendipitously coinciding with Father’s Day, we turn the spotlight on dads: The contribution they make, the influence they have.

Here At The Table, we’re also about real issues. And I’m keenly aware not all of us are lucky enough to have fathers or a life partner to share our burdens. My father passed away 20 years ago, leaving my mum to raise two children alone. I have always admired her strength of spirit, but after interviewing several single mothers for this issue’s feature story, I am left completely in awe of the ability women have to face life challenges head-on.

Life, especially if you’re a parent, is busy and sometimes isolating. But if you can, take a few moments throughout this month to come back to At The Table magazine.

I trust you’ll find a few gems to inform and inspire you, but most of all, through our social media pages, I hope you’ll find a community of women to have conversations with, and who will support you during those 3 am feeds. And when you're done with the magazine, why not pass it on to a friend who may also benefit from it?

Melody Did you know At The Table is also a TV show? In July, some of our panellists (including yours truly) were at a conference at the University of New South Wales presenting the show live!

Drop us a line!

What did we get right? What can we do better? What are the conversations you're having? What are the issues you're facing?

The author of our letter of the month wins a free Arnie’s Shack: The Complete First Series four-disc DVD set, suitable for your children (or nieces or nephews)! Write to us at editorial@thetabletv.com

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September 2017

social find us @thetabletvshow

Did you know we have a Facebook community where you can join in the conversation on our show segments, magazine articles and much more?

Recently, we asked our members how they relax:

WHAT'S ON YOUTUBE THIS MONTH? SEASON TWO RETURNS TIRACHARD KUMTANOM—PEXELS

september

GET

from the

10–16 September • •

"Reverse" student suspension: What is it and does it work?

Should forgiveness extend to the person who raped you?

17–23 September • •

Dr Patricia Weerakoon on how to bring up the birds and the bees with your children Combating online harassment of women

Maria: Spending time with my granddaughter teaching her Samoan words, watching Hindi, Filipino movies, putting my feet up outside enjoying the sun and reading, drinking tea Jannike: A bath and some soothing sounds

24–30 September

Danii: Hanging out in the garden

•

Maritza: All of the above! Plus a good nap, a delicious meal, some girl time, a mani/pedi, and some time in nature always help relax me

•

Stay-at-home dad Daniel Bell shares his experience (read his story on page 18) Why you should not call your fellow women flawless

Dani: chocolate and a peppermint tea

youtube.com/thetabletvshow FOR MORE

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September 2017

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RACHEL H

“If I could have a superpower, it would be teleporting, to be near family. It has been two years since I saw my dad [who lives in the US]. He hasn’t even met my son.

I often feel torn between two places."

“The best thing about being a mum is when I get to watch my children sleep. Seriously?

It’s watching them go to school, learn to read, come home with something in their eyes that makes them go ‘boom’ and then go on to find activities and achieve things using that ability.”

MARYELLEN

SHONA

“When I was seven or eight years old, my favourite toy was my Tamagotchi—I had two! We weren’t allowed to have it in school, but I would keep it on a line around my neck, tucked under my school uniform.”

“The one thing I would tell the me from 10 years ago, is to be comfortable in my skin earlier.”

FIONA

“I'm the friend who's scared of your pet dog, cat, rabbit, bird, turtle. If it's not in a secure area, I'm not visiting.”

MELODY

“I love historical fiction and fantasy books (Terry Pratchett’s Discworld series is my favourite) but no, I’ve never read any of the Harry Potter books.”

MEET THE PANELLISTS FROM THE SHOW

RACHEL L A

IMAGE: GILMORE TANABOSE

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GOOD DADS BAD DADS

The former president of the United States of America not only wrote a book (Of Thee I Sing) for his children, shortly after his inauguration in 2009, he made a public declaration of love to them in an open letter published in Parade magazine. Enough said.

In 2007, the Hollywood actor left a rather shocking voicemail message for his then 11-year-old daughter, Ireland, calling her “rude” and “thoughtless” among other more horrible names, when she did not answer the phonecall he had previously scheduled to make from New York. The good news is father and daughter appear to have mended their relationship and seem to be close now.

As a Russian Tsar in the late 1600s, Peter Alexeyevich made some lasting reforms, emphasised the importance of education and led a cultural revolution in the country.

As a father, he was pretty scary. When his son, Alexei, was suspected of being involved in a plot to overthrow him, he had Alexei tortured to obtain a confession.

GRIZZLY BEARS

Extremely territorial and opportunistic omnivores, they will hunt and kill anything that encroaches upon their domain, even if that happens to be little Ted who accidentally strays into dad’s bachelor pad.

Thankfully, little bear cubs do have fiercely protective mama bears to care for them.

GOD SIR THOMAS MORE JPGFACTORY—ISTOCK, SHALIKA LIYANAGE—PIXABAY, GAGE SKIDMORE, PAUL DELAROCHE—WIKIMEDIA COMMONS

PETER THE GREAT

September 2017

BARACK OBAMA

ALEC BALDWIN

Probably better remembered as the author of Utopia and the statesman from King Henry VIII’s court who refused to recognise the king’s separation from the Catholic Church, Sir Thomas More was also a doting and affectionate father to both his son and daughters. He even insisted on giving his daughters the same classical education as his son, an uncommon practice at that time.

He doesn’t discriminate, willingly and readily adopts everybody into His family, and is super quick to forgive. Even knowing they would choose to disobey Him, God decides to create humans, sacrificing His own Son to pay for the consequences of their actions. He loves abundantly, shows exceeding patience and is always there for His children—us.

PETE SOUZA—WIKIMEDIA COMMONS, ARHNUE TAN—PIXABAY, CECILIE ARCURS—ISTOCK, PIXAR-DISNEY

A patriarch from the Bible, Isaac loved his twin sons, but evidently not equally. He (and his wife) played favourites, causing some serious sibling rivalry. (You can read the account in the Bible, in the 27th chapter of the book of Genesis.)

This lord of the dark side first abandons his children, then many years later, captures his daughter and forces her to witness the destruction of her home planet. He follows that up with a lightsaber duel with his son where he slices off his son’s hand and only then decides to reveal, “Luke, I am your father.”

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He may have been a little overprotective at the start, but you can’t help but love this little clownfish who unwillingly befriends a Pacific blue tang, faces sharks who claim to be vegetarians, somehow outwits an anglerfish and swims all the way from the Great Barrier Reef to Sydney, just to rescue his son, Nemo.

ISAAC

DARTH VADER

8

MARLIN

SEAHORSES

This species probably trumps all dads since it’s the male that gets pregnant and experiences the “joy” of contractions and labour.

Seahorse fathers aren’t perfect however—once their offspring (known as “fry”) are born, they are left to fend for themselves.

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e h t as k experts

Q I’m a new father and I love that my wife spends so much time bonding with our baby, especially when she’s breastfeeding. But how can I bond with my baby too? Dave, via

THIS MONTH:

KAREN HOLFORD FAMILY THERAPIST HEARTWORDS

email

ANDREW PENNINGTON GENERAL PRACTITIONER SANCTUARY LIFESTYLE CLINIC DARON PRATT KIDS' CHAPLAIN SEVENTH-DAY ADVENTIST CHURCH TRISH GUY NUTRITIONIST SANITARIUM HEALTH & WELLBEING

Q When’s a good time to teach my child to pray and how do I start?

Jodi, Newcastle Start praying with your child even before they can speak. Hug them close and pray over them—they’ll learn to associate God with love, hugs and grace. As your child starts to speak, encourage them to pray a few words as part of your prayer with them, such as something they like about their day. Let them catch you praying at various times of the day. Be age appropriate, keep the prayers simple and at a level they understand. Prayers for a good day at school, for pets, for friends or for family members are always good topics to focus on at this age, along with God's awe and wonder concerning the world around them. If someone is sick or hurting, pray for them with your child.

Encourage them to pray more and more in your prayer and eventually on their own. Always include a blessing over your child, especially at night before tucking them into bed. —Daron

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September 2017

Q I much prefer the natural way of healing a cold, such as eating raw garlic and oranges.

However, my friend prefers taking medication. Which is more effective and better for me?

Vanessa, via email Colds are a type of Upper Respiratory Tract Infection (URTI). The vast majority of these are caused by viruses and are self-limiting illnesses, usually within 7–10 days, thanks to our beautifully designed immune system, which forms antibodies to the virus and then boots it out. There is no specific treatment for the virus itself, only for the symptoms. If you prefer eating raw garlic and oranges (which provide vitamin C and some herbal antimicrobials, along with other important nutrients), that is absolutely fine. There is some limited evidence that zinc and some herbs may reduce the time course of the viral URTI. However, I find a good quality cold and flu tablet that contains paracetamol or ibuprofen, and a decongestant medication to be best for symptom control. These can be used on a short-term basis (3–5 days) to control symptoms, if desired.

Allowing your body adequate sleep and drinking water, getting some natural sunlight and avoiding high-sugar foods may also assist the body to fight off the infection more quickly. See your doctor if your cold doesn’t get better after 7–10 days to ensure it is not something more serious that needs treatment. —Andrew

Q I am about to start my baby on solids but wish to raise her vegetarian. Is this possible and how do I go about it? Rachel, Auckland Raising your little one as a vegetarian is indeed possible, and is a healthy option. The Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics has found after reviewing many studies, a vegetarian diet can provide all the nutrients babies needs to grow and thrive.

In addition to breast milk or formula, iron-rich foods are really important at this time. Iron-

enriched infant cereals are a great first choice. As your baby begins to manage new and lumpier textures, you can then move on to well-cooked oats or Weet-Bix mixed with breast milk or formula. Try also well-cooked and mashed red lentils or baked beans (preferably without added salt), and after that, tofu.

Soft, mashed fruits and well-cooked vegetables are also important and can be introduced in any order, as are milk- or soy-based foods like yoghurt or custard.

An accredited practicing dietitian can provide more detailed advice to help ensure your baby’s diet is providing all the key nutrients she needs to thrive.

—Trish

MICHAL JARMOLUK— PEXELS, ROBERT OWEN-WAHL— PIXABAY, GEORGE RUDY, SOLSTOCK—ISTOCK

Dads bond by having warm, fun, face-to-face time with their babies.

Sing funny songs, tickle them gently, enjoy baby bath times, smile at them, talk about whatever you are doing if you are in the room with them and know how to soothe them back to sleep. Learn how to bring up their wind gently after a feed (make sure you have a muslin handy in case they spit out some milk). Even changing a nappy can be a great time for bonding. Just try not to show too much disgust at what you find in the nappy!

Instead, sing songs, kiss their feet, tickle their tummy and play peeka-boo when they’re a little older.

Babies love to see your face and eyes, so keep giving them vital eye contact to communicate how much you love them, how special they are to you and how much you want to be with them. —Karen

SUBMIT YOUR QUESTION TO OUR PANEL OF EXPERTS Write to us at: editorial@ thetabletv.com The information provided is general in nature and does not take into account your personal situation. You should consider whether the information is appropriate to your needs, and where appropriate, seek professional advice.

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Sometimes the unexpected happens and we are left to go on the parenting journey alone. Here are the stories of how some mums have stepped up to perform dual roles for their children.

By Melody Tan

when mums

ARE DADS

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September 2017

JOSH WILLINK—PEXELS

J

ust 16 years of age, she worked three jobs to support both herself and her son, and in order to finish high school, studied during any free time she managed to scrape together. She wasn’t alone in her journey, but she might as well have been— her partner was “abusive in every way".

For her son’s sake, she left him. An anonymous benefactor saw her potential and offered to pay her son’s childcare costs so she could focus on her studies to become a registered nurse. Her life was back on track. Then she met someone.

He was charming at first, so it came as a surprise when he started threatening to kill her and her son. As the intimidation intensified, she knew the only way to keep her and her son safe was to leave.

“It makes me sad that my son does not have a dad,” says Rebecca Mckeown, now in her late thirties. “I feel like I’ve failed him in that respect.”

Fathers. They’re traditionally seen as the breadwinner of the family, the one who teaches their sons how to throw a ball, lovingly dotes on their daughters and fixes the leaky tap at home.

Studies have shown the vital role fathers play in their children’s lives in a psychological sense. The American Academy of Pediatrics says, “When fathers play a visible and nurturing role in their children’s lives, the children have better emotional and social outcomes and are more likely to have stronger coping and adaptation skills, be better equipped to solve problems, stay in school longer, have longer-lasting relationships and have a higher work productivity.”

Not only that, researchers from Princeton University in New Jersey, USA, have found that absent fathers can cause children to have shorter caps on the ends of their chromosomes. What this means is an increased risk of a variety of chronic health problems when they become adults, including heart disease and cancer.

On a more practical sense, parenting is just doubly difficult when you don’t have a reliable partner to support you. “There is no down time. You have to be there and ready to go at all times,” says Paulette McCormack. Originally from the Gold Coast, she was living in the United Kingdom with her partner when he decided to end their relationship, when their two daughters were five months and two-and-a-half years old.

“Having no-one around meant I needed to rely on childcare arrangements to look after my daughters so that I could go and study at night,” she says. “This all came at a cost so we had to miss out in other areas, like days out and more than just basic food.”

Then there is the stigma associated with single parenthood, which puts extra pressure on mums who are doing it alone. It’s something Julia Hasche knows well, after she chose to become a single mother four years ago when her daughter was just a few months old, to protect her from the abusive environment her father was creating.

“I felt a lot of shame. I thought that people would instantly think that I was stupid, uneducated and a drain on the economy. I thought they would think that I should never have had a child, that my daughter would grow up disadvantaged, and that I was scraping by and barely keeping it together.”

When he was three, Dan Brunt’s parents divorced. Even though they had dual custody, Dan’s father was mostly absent, leaving his mother with the sole responsibility of raising Dan. The lack of an appropriate male role model proved a challenge to Dan, who wished his father was more present in his life.

“If I saw my father more and received more affirmation, I think I in turn would be able to do that to those I love in my own life,” says Dan. Instead, he learned from “fathers” portrayed on television and in movies, and “there weren’t many uplifting and inspirational models of manhood in the media”.

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would you...

Let's shift the conversation and celebrate the unique and wonderful aspects of parenting alone.

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September 2017

would...

would not...

My boys were five and seven when my husband and I decided to get a nanny. We were two professionals who worked long hours and we were finding it difficult to manage everything and stay sane for the boys, while still being able to allow the kids to engage with after-school sports, activities and play dates!

We put a call out in the search for a nanny and a family friend of ours told us about their son who not only wanted to travel to Australia (from Canada) but was great with kids and would be very willing to work as a nanny. We Skyped a few times and met in person over Christmas and come January, he was our new male nanny!

We didn’t purposely go out looking for a male nanny; it just happened that the suitable person we found was male. But now that we’ve had him, if we were ever to get another nanny again, I would highly consider another male.

Our experience was amazing; in fact it exceeded our expectations. He was a fit, intelligent and active young man who had recently graduated from university and was having a gap year before going on to graduate school. He played ice hockey back in Canada and my youngest son is a keen ice hockey player so they had that in common. He really enjoyed sports and the outdoors and so he seamlessly fit into our lives. We went on holidays and outings together.

He got on really well with my husband and enjoyed playing basketball with him. He would drop me off to work in the morning and have my car to drop off and pick up the kids, and then picked me up in the evenings once dinner was underway and the kids showered. It was a great set-up!

Evidence has shown that males are more likely to be responsible for abusing children. That’s not to say that all males are predators or perpetrators, but I would not gamble my children, whether there is a 50 per cent chance, five per cent chance or a one per cent chance.

My strongest issue at the moment has to do with nappy changes. My oldest girl is almost eight now and doesn’t need help to go to the toilet, but my youngest is only two. She still needs to be nappy-changed and I would not allow a male, other than my husband, to do that. If my daughters were older, I would still be hesitant about allowing a male to care for them.

And I mean any male. It doesn’t matter if he’s someone I’ve known all my life or whether he’s someone with excellent credentials, I would not leave my girls, especially my youngest, alone with them. It would be OK if the male carer were part of a team, such as a male worker in a childcare centre, but I wouldn't leave my children alone with a male on his own.

In fact, for two years that we lived away from family, my husband and I did not even have a date night because neither my mum nor my sister were available to look after my children.

That’s how far we went.

HALFPOINT—ISTOCK

AMANDA LAMBROS PERTH, WESTERN AUSTRALIA

AMBER MCAULEY—PIXABAY

Paulette has also noticed how the lack of a father figure has affected her daughters’ lives. “I know that my girls have missed having a father figure around. I used to find if we went to parties, they would be drawn to the fathers in the group more so than the mothers. It does worry me that they will have a fear, if you would call it that, towards men and relationships.” Now, even as an adult, Dan acknowledges he still struggles with connecting with men, “especially those who are more macho and domineering".

The going is difficult and the odds are large when mums have to step into the role of dads as well. However, rather than crumble under the pressure or succumb to societal judgement, single mothers around the world have found the inner strength that

miraculously blossoms (and then some) when it comes to ensuring their children thrive.

“I became a dab hand at chopping wood for the fire, organising trades if things needed doing on the house and for the small jobs, I learned to do them myself,” says Paulette. “I bought a toolbox, screwdrivers, a lawn mower and trimmer, and did both the inside and outside [of the house] jobs. I actually felt empowered (after the hurt subsided) that I could do it all. It became my driver to be able to do everything.”

According to Nina Farr, who works with women who have become single parents due to domestic abuse, it can also be a matter of perspective. “Far too often, single-parent families are talked about from a deficit model—what they don't have, what they have to work twice as hard to provide—and this becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Let's shift the conversation and celebrate the unique and wonderful aspects of parenting alone. The intimacy, the freedom, the independence, the joy.”

Just because the father of the child is no longer around doesn’t mean they need to grow up without an adequate male role model either. Women such as Julia and Rebecca have fathers, brothers or close male friends who have all stepped into the role, especially important as their partners had been abusive and terrible examples of what relationships should be. For Dan, there was also God, who was “always there for me when I needed Him. But it was only when [my biological father passed away] that I began to see God as a Father”.

To overcome the feeling of shame, Julia started surrounding herself with “other successful, educated and smart single mothers.

I also did a lot of personal development work”.

While extremely tough, with pure determination and grit, single mums can be both fathers and mothers to their children and succeed in life. Today, Rebecca not only works as a nurse, she is the co-founder of Single Parent Network, which provides resources to help single parents. Paulette is back living on the Gold Coast, and is director for human resources company, Fresh HR Insights, while Julia is a blogger, author and mentor for single parents.

As for the children, the bond between mother and child is probably doubly strong. “I think Mum is the strongest person I know and she inspires me,” says Dan, who is now a pastor, introducing people to the heavenly Father. “To be able to predominantly raise me, love me, discipline me, all from her own tumultuous upbringing, I have no words to express how thankful I am.”

HIRE A MALE NANNY?

TANIA GONZALEZ SYDNEY, NEW SOUTH WALES

BONUS

What did our show's panellists think about the topic?

FIND OUT AT http://bit.ly/MannyOrNanny

September 2017

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i d n a M

MAKES

FLU BOMB

16

ALL-PURPOSE CLEANER

INGREDIENTS

INGREDIENTS

1 cup baking soda ½ cup corn starch 20–30 drops essential oil (such as RC, Thieves or Wintergreen) 2 tbsp water

Dish soap Baking soda Water or lemon juice Optional: Essential oil (citrus scents such as lemon or orange work well)

METHOD

METHOD

1. Mix the baking soda and corn starch in a bowl and whisk.

2. Continue to whisk while adding essential oil. Slowly add water until mixture sticks together in a ball. (Mixture should hold together when squeezed but not appear wet. Add more water if necessary.)

3. Press mixture firmly into an ice cube tray or silicon mould for at least 24 hours or until hardened.

4. Remove and store in an air-tight container.

1. Mix equal parts dish soap and baking soda.

2. Add enough water or lemon juice to form a thick paste.

3. Optional: Add a few drops of essential oils.

4. Sponge onto the area to be cleaned, allow to sit for 5–30 minutes then scrub and rinse clean.

THETABLETV.COM

September 2017

INGREDIENTS

Shea butter is packed with vitamin E, which prevents and repairs free radical damage. Cocoa butter retains your skin’s elasticity and prevents and fades stretch marks. Coconut oil is anti-inflammatory and antibacterial, and great at holding in moisture. If stored in a cool, dark place, this body butter can last for a year.

2 tbsp lemon juice 1 tbsp apple cider vinegar 1 heaped tsp manuka honey ¼ tsp turmeric powder ¼ tsp cinnamon powder pinch of cayenne pepper ¾ cup hot water

INGREDIENTS

ANDRII POHRANYCHNYI, ICARMEN 13, SITRIEL, LS9907 —ISTOCK

VAPOUR SHOWER MELTS

BODY BUTTER

¼ cup shea butter (raw, unrefined, unbleached) ¼ cup cocoa butter ¼ cup coconut oil ¼ cup almond oil 1 vanilla bean pod (or 1 tsp vanilla bean paste) 10–20 drops lavender oil Optional: Essential oil in your favourite scent

METHOD 1. Add all the ingredients (except hot water) into a mug with about ¼ cup of room temperature water.

2. Pour in the hot water and stir until ingredients are well mixed.

METHOD 1. Place the shea butter, cocoa butter, coconut oil and almond oil in a glass bowl and melt in a double boiler, stirring occasionally.

2. Put the mixture in the fridge for about two hours or until it solidifies.

3. Using an electric whisk, whip the mixture for about 10 minutes or until fluffy, while adding the vanilla and lavender oil (and essential oil if you choose to do so).

MANDI Good for your skin and great for the environment.

Watch Mandi make these earth-friendly natural recipes on the At The Table TV show.

FOR MORE

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September 2017

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When Daniel Bell (pictured left) decided to take over from his wife as primary carer for their son, he learned some important lessons in child-rearing.

I

day care 18

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September 2017

NICK LINDSAY

DADDY

’ve been to this park many times. There are lovely tall mature trees, a large grassed area perfect for a picnic lunch or a lazy afternoon chatting with friends, flowers, and even a rose garden.

There’s also a gazebo, the site of concerts and other events.

I even had my thirtieth birthday party here. But this time it was different.

Driving toward the park, the mid-morning sun was striking the yellow and red leaves of the deciduous trees, showcasing the wonderful late autumn colours of the season. But this wasn’t why it was different. Steering my car into a spot, I parked it, then glanced in the side mirror to check for traffic (safety first) before reaching for the door handle. Swinging the door open, I eased myself out and walked around the back of the car, stepping across a small puddle of water left in the gutter from the previous night’s rain.

Hopefully it's not too wet, I thought to myself.

Looking in the rear passenger window, it was then that I realised why this visit to the park was different: There was a baby in the back seat of my car!

I'm kidding. I knew he was there since I had put him in, and luckily he was still there, since I had been newly appointed as his full-time carer (I don't mean just for the morning or the day). You usually know this role as "Mum", but here I am, Dad, out for the first time in the unfamiliar world of primary carers, making my way to the park with my son.

"We might make some new friends," I say to him, while secretly wishing my comment applied to myself as well.

My world had already undergone a big change eight months prior when my wife gave birth to our first child. It’s incredible how something so small can take up so much of your time and energy, and yet evoke so much love. We had saved and planned for our baby, and initially, my wife was a stay-at-home mum on unpaid maternity leave and I was working at my office job.

The problem was, my position was recently made redundant and as much fun as it would be for both of us to be stay-at-home parents, the bills have to get paid. After discussing what would be best for our family: Me looking for another job, likely having to commute and missing out on more precious time with our child, versus my wife going back to work a few minutes walk away, we decided she would go back to work full-time and I would look after our little bundle of joy. Not that he was that little by this stage. He was eight months old and weighed nine kilograms!

September 2017

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September 2017

WIN

WIN CHILDREN'S BOOKS!

Submit a personal story on your parenting journey, thoughts or experience and if we use your story, we’ll send you a selection of books featured on our book corner page (see page 32)! Write to us at editorial@thetabletv.com

HOW TO

CHANGE A DIRTY NAPPY 1. SNIFF. Sometimes, it will be obvious as you can smell a dirty nappy from five metres away (proceed to step 3).

Other times, even up close, it’s unclear if it’s dirty or not, so proceed to step 2.

2. PEEK. If your baby is wearing trousers (not a onesie), you can prise open the back of the nappy to check. Warning: There will be times you will wish you didn’t do that as you would have just unlocked the seal with its contents right near your finger. If things aren’t obvious from this angle, assume nothing. Take trousers or onesie off and check under baby’s leg. Generally, definitive results can be obtained from this method. If a dirty nappy is established, proceed to step 3. PREP. I cannot emphasise this step enough.

Before opening the nappy any further, get a wet wipe out, unfolded and ready, with a second one on standby. Just having the packet nearby won’t be sufficient when the nappy is opened and you’re trying to hold flailing legs up. It will be too late! Also, make sure a new clean nappy is within reach.

4. DISTRACT. You might like to give baby a toy on the change table to keep his hands busy, as sometimes wandering hands can pull the dirty nappy away when you’re least expecting it. Note: You do run the risk of the toy being dropped where you really don’t want it to be.

5. COMMIT. Now that you are ready, take a deep breath (gas mask optional) and change the nappy. Easy!

TIP: If you reach your daily maximum poop threshold (after five dirty nappies in one day I had had enough!), feel free to complain on Facebook and fervently hope your partner will be home soon to change the next one.

On a serious note, sometimes you may see your baby really straining trying to poop, even crying in pain. It’s difficult to watch him suffer at that time. Often, you will also notice a hard nugget in his nappy. This is time to turn to “P” fruit: pears, plums, peaches, prunes and so on to get things moving.

You may also want to dial back the poop talk around your non-parent friends. They may begin to think that is all you ever talk about and might not hang around as much!

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IMGORTHAND—ISTOCK

It was a slightly difficult step for me—not just the thought of looking after him—as I was giving up the traditional male role of breadwinner; men don’t look after babies! In fact, data from the Australian Institute of Family Studies show only four per cent of primary carers in two-parent families are men.

Not only that, there was concern over what our choice would do to my career. As we hadn’t planned for a specific period that I would care for him, it felt like I was giving up my career to look after him forever. And even if it were for just two years or four (until he was ready for school), would I still have a career to go back to? I finally had an understanding of what mums go through when they give up their careers to care for their family.

Luckily for me, before my wife went back to work and I took over full-time care, we got to take a six-week family holiday (since annual leave limits didn’t apply to either of us). It was a nice handover period where I was made more aware of our son’s daytime routine.

Before then, I knew the general theory of what happened from what my wife would tell me, but you miss out on a lot when in fulltime work, being basically away almost the entire time your baby is awake. (Side story: Back then, I was in charge of the last feed of the night and getting him ready for bed. While changing him, I would

our little darling might only nap for 30 minutes, giving you barely enough time to sit down and rest for a few minutes before getting onto the next task, such as preparing for lunch or dinner. (I was the picture perfect 1950s housewife on my first week. I had meal plans and dinner was on the table when my wife got home, with the aroma of banana bread baking in the oven for dessert. The time line has lapsed a little on that now, and we share cooking duties too.)

I wasn’t expecting I would have a large excess of free time when I started this journey, but I thought I would at least have a little. I even naively got out a computer game I thought I might be able to play! Turns out, there isn’t a lot of free time. On the plus side, a weekend newspaper lasts a whole week, unless you leave it within reach of the mobile paper shredder. It's not to say you don't get any free time—he may play happily by himself for 10 minutes—but then he will be off getting into something he shouldn't, stuck under something or needing attending to for some reason.

Early on, when he was on the floor in the living room playing with his toys, I had thought, Great, I’ll jump online and check my emails. It wasn’t long before he was crawling away and trying to get into something, probably the power cords (it’s always the power cords). I put on my firm voice and said, “No,” to no effect. So I got out of my chair, picked him up and told him, “Power cords are not for playing with,” and moved him back to his toys.

He started playing with the toys, I thought my job was done and went back to the computer, but before I even had a chance to type anything, he was precariously pulling himself up the entertainment unit. I observed him for a few minutes, thinking about the email and formulating the reply I wanted to send, before gently pulling him down and enticing him back to his toys, jingling them to make them seem more interesting. I sat back at the computer, but before I could finish the first sentence, he started crying for no apparent reason.

I remember being so frustrated that I couldn’t get this email done—“Just give me a few minutes!” I grumbled in exasperation— but I soon learned my job wasn’t to check my emails; my job was to care for my son. (Later, I came across this quote that encapsulated my experience: “Children are not a distraction from more important work. They are the most important work.”)

And that's the amazing thing: I have a son and I am a father, and it's my job to look after him. It may not be the traditional way a father looks after their child, but it's pretty good. Wonderful even.

I’m thankful for the opportunity to see him crawling and pulling himself up onto things, and now I’m eagerly waiting for him to take his first step, and hearing his babbling form into coherent words.

Some clichés are spot on: kids do grow up too fast. It seems like it was only a few months ago he was born, but as I write this, he will soon be one, so I'm going to enjoy the ride as we go along.

NICK LINDSAY

The term stay-at-home dad (or mum) is a little erroneous as generally, you aren't at home!

play with him, which I since learned was not a great idea, as it would rile him up and then he wouldn’t sleep—which, don’t tell my wife, was sometimes nice!)

It has been a few months now since my wife has gone back to work and it has been an interesting journey.

There are a few different terms bandied about for male primary carers: stay-at-home dad, house husband, Mr Mum and my personal favourite, daddy day care.

The funny thing about calling it day care however is that you have to attend to your “client” overnight as well. This was one of my early concerns, as when I was working full-time, my wife would often get up during the night and I would sleep through, rarely hearing anything. How could I step up so that she could get a good night’s rest and be ready for work if I wasn’t even hearing him?

As it turns out, after I became primary carer, my ears tuned in.

Sometimes, my wife would even sleep through our son’s middle-ofthe-night stirrings!

Also, the term stay-at-home dad (or mum) is a little erroneous as generally, you aren’t at home! Here’s a rundown of our week: Monday: Sing-along and storytime at the library, errands and grocery shopping Tuesday: Swimming lessons Wednesday: Playgroup Thursday: Currently free, but on the waiting list for a Chinese playgroup (since we are trying to raise our son bilingual) Friday: Meet up with other babies from the parent group we joined when our son was born, or a play in the park Each activity doesn’t take the whole day, but with a child it always takes a long time to do anything. There’s feeding (oh the joy of solids!), changing his nappy, getting him dressed, changing his nappy again (invariably) and sometimes even his clothes again due to spew (although fortunately, that seems to have reduced). Then there is all the extra stuff you have to pack: bottle and formula, hot water for the thermos, water bottle, snacks, food, nappy bag (with extra change of clothes for baby and yourself), pram and blanket.

At the car, it’s not just a jump-in-and-go affair as it once was. You have to put the baby into the car seat, pull his arms through the straps, clip both sides of the buckle, tighten the straps, get his toy and get ready to do it all in reverse when you get to the destination, which often is only a few minutes away!

There are also nap times, which you think would be easy but sometimes, it can take a while to get him to sleep. Either that or

SQUAT HOLD & PASS

I

f you’re running low on date ideas, here’s one for you: a workout date! No I’m not joking.

Working out with your partner can have many benefits. Let me just list a few: 1. QUALITY TIME. Life is busy before you have kids and adding kids goes beyond busy. Getting quality time with your partner can be a struggle.

However, if you both have a goal to increase or maintain your fitness, working out together can be a way to kill two birds with one stone.

2. YOU’LL ACTUALLY EXERCISE. Most of us are less likely to flake on a commitment if there’s someone to be accountable to. Scheduling a time to exercise with your partner can increase the likelihood that you will actually exercise.

3. WORKOUT HARDER. Not only are you likely to get a workout done, because you’re accountable to someone else, you’re also likely to work harder and push yourself more. A study published in the Annals of Behavioral Medicine found that your performance improved by up to 87 per cent when you train with a partner!

Here are two workouts to try with your partner, one with a ball or weight, and the other using your own bodyweight.

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September 2017

WHEELBARROW PUSH-UP + SQUAT

DO 20 REPS PER EXERCISE, OR SWITCH POSITIONS AND REPEAT FOR ANOTHER 20 REPS.

SQUAT HOLD + HIGH KNEES

SEATED SIDE TAPS & PASS

PLANK + ANKLE JUMPS

INVOLVE THE WHOLE FAMILY!

SIT UP & PASS

FORWARD & REVERSE LUNGE & PASS

WALL SIT + DIPS

You don’t have to limit working out to just with your partner.

Here are some fun ways to get the whole family active together: • Take a soccer ball to a local field to kick or throw around • Find a park with exercise equipment and do a family circuit • Mum and dad can use the little ones as weights while doing squats, lunges, shoulder presses and push-ups • Do a planned outdoor activity together such as stand-up paddleboarding, bike riding, surfing or even a family run

LIGHTFIELD STUDIOS—ISTOCK

HOW TO GET FIT WITH YOUR PARTNER

EXERCISES USING BODYWEIGHT

DO 20 REPS PER EXERCISE, OR SWITCH POSITIONS AND REPEAT FOR ANOTHER 20 REPS.

ALISHA

TRICEPS PASS

SUPPLIED

WORK OUT DATE?

EXERCISES WITH BALL OR WEIGHT

PLANK HIGHFIVES

Ten minutes every day is all you need to start on your journey to become fit and healthy. Watch Unleash Fit Living's Alisha share her workouts on the At The Table TV show.

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While every child is different, there are some basic foundations we can provide to ensure our sons grow up to be men who make us proud.

By Melody Tan

I

t’s something we’ve always known instinctively, but studies now prove that boys are wired differently to girls. In their book, It’s a Baby Boy!, obstetrician-gynaecologist Stacie Bering and psychiatric social worker Adie Goldberg reveal there are indeed scientific differences between male and female infants’ brains, and that developmental distinctions present themselves a few weeks after conception.

If you’re a mum, you’ve probably experienced these differences on a personal level. This boy—your boy—is somehow so different from who you are simply because of his gender. How do you understand him? How do you connect with him? And how can you successfully raise him so that he then goes on to become the man, husband and father you want him to be?

Here are some tips: SHOW WARMTH, TENDERNESS AND AFFECTION Boys require as much warmth, tenderness and affection as do girls, but studies have shown that parents hug, cuddle and even talk to their sons less than their daughters. As psychologist Steve Biddulph said in his book, Raising Boys, “If, in the early years, a mother suddenly withdraws her presence or her warmth and affection . . . to control his grief and pain, the boy shuts down the part of him that connects with her—his tender and loving part. If a boy shuts down this part of him, he will have trouble as an adult expressing warmth or tenderness to his own partner or children, and will be a rather tense and brittle man.”

future fathers

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ALEKSANDAR NAKIC—ISTOCK

raising

ALLOW THEM TO EXPRESS THEIR FEELINGS Your son needs to learn about sadness, anger, happiness and fear, and the best way to do that is to see his parents (even dads) express them. When it comes to talking, on average, boys will use fewer words and shorter sentences than girls. So ignore the message that men should be “stoic” and “strong” and help your boy to express himself better through his body and emotions. If boys fail to recognise their feelings, their go-to emotion will generally be anger. However, as Biddulph warns in Raising Boys, they also need to know how to “hold” those feelings: how to be afraid, but not rattled; mad, but not dangerous; happy, but not stupid; and sad, but not overwhelmed or dismayed.

HELP THEM LEARN SELF-CONTROL As Bering and Goldberg say in It’s a Baby Boy!, “Your boy is built to be active. He is going to test the limits of his physical strength.”

That physical strength has the potential to convert into something more destructive as he grows older and bigger, so while you should encourage your baby boy to move and be active, he needs to learn self-control as well. This means knowing the appropriate time to back off and how not to “lose it”, especially when he’s angry, tired or frustrated.

CHIVALRY ISN’T DEAD Opening doors, walking on the outside of the sidewalk and ensuring the lady gets home safely after a date are just some of the many old-fashioned but still relevant chivalrous acts your son needs to learn. Teach him to do them not because women are the weaker gender, but because they are different and he respects them. Your son needs to learn that while gender differences exist, gender inequality shouldn’t.

GIVE HIM HIS INDEPENDENCE It may be difficult to see your son as anything but your baby boy but you are doing him a big favour if you teach him not only to be independent, but how to take care of himself (and later, his family).

According to the Australian Bureau of Statistics, men on average spend fewer than five hours a week on domestic work, compared with between five and 14 hours a week by women. So teach your son to cook, clean and perform all the different chores needed to run an efficient household, and not expect his mum (or wife) to do them. Teach him also to care for others (playing with younger children or animals) and you’ll also provide him with opportunities to be tender.

PROVIDE GOOD MENTORS AND ROLE MODELS Fathers are vitally important when it comes to teaching boys to be good men, especially in their pre-teen years. When fathers are absent, male mentors and role models can also fill those shoes.

If your son looks up to these men, it will be from them that he will learn the skills, behaviour and attitude needed to be a responsible and well-rounded spouse and father when he grows up. While you’re at it, give him some strong female role models as well to help him learn respect for women and their accomplishments.

Belong to a strong social group—church, sports, school—to ensure your son receives the type of mentoring he needs.

PART OF A COMMUNITY “There is a natural egocentricity in a boy, particularly a young boy, that needs to be tempered with conversations that remind him he is a social being. Living with others and benefitting from their respect is great, but here’s the rub: others need to receive that same respect. Communities offer much. However, they also require much,” writes Tim Hawkes in his book, Ten Conversations You Must Have With Your Son. Contributing positively to the community he’s in will also teach him compassion, empathy, humility and kindness. He will also learn what it takes to be a contributing member of his own family when he grows up.

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CHARACTERISTICS of a GOOD MAN TRUST

LOYALTY

Humour

FRIENDS WITH GIRLS You are the first female “friend” your son has and it is through you that he’ll learn how to relate to other women. Teach him what girls are like, to respect them, and help him to relax around girls and women, knowing that he can simply be friends with them.

Claire Cain Miller in The New York Times article “How to Raise a Feminist Son”, says, “Research found that by the end of preschool, children start segregating by sex, and this reinforces gender stereotypes. But children who are encouraged to play with friends of the opposite sex learn better problem-solving and communication . . . [and] boys who have friendships with girls are also less likely to think of women as sexual conquests.” Related to this is teaching him to honour sex, and the difference between liking, loving and lusting.

Honest

HAS DREAMS AND GOALS Hard-working GENEROUS Compassionate

HUMBLE

Self-reliant RESPECT FOR OTHERS Sets a good example Acts with forgiveness Has the strength to express his emotions Principled—sticks up for what he believes in Strong enough to know when to ask for help

Committed to belonging to something Controls his anger

SHOWS LOVE

Source: He’ll Be OK: Growing Gorgeous Boys into Good Men, by Celia Lashlie

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A true bond with God will teach your son to love abundantly . . .

PROVIDE STRUCTURE IN HIS LIFE “All boys, no matter where they fall on the intellectual or behavioural spectrum, need help focusing and organising their behaviour,” write Bering and Goldberg in It’s a Baby Boy! They go on to suggest helping your son by giving him simple rules, a reliable and consistent schedule, and an organised room with designated places for his toys, clothes and school supplies. Never forget to praise and encourage him when he gets it right.

LOVE GOD A deep and committed relationship with God will help mould your son into the man, husband and father he has the potential to be. A true bond with God will teach your son to love abundantly, the humility to seek divine guidance and the calm assurance knowing all will be well with God. MODEL THAT BEHAVIOUR There is great wisdom in the Bible where it advises us to “start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it” (Proverbs 22:6). At the end of the day, what every boy needs is a good example. Children learn by copying. So whether you’re a mother, a father, an aunt or an uncle, simply by virtue of being an adult, you need to behave the way you want a child to become and he will go on that path. Speak gently, act with integrity, show love and always respect others, and you’ll help develop a man society will benefit from.

As Biddulph says, “If you think about it, the great men of history—Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Buddha, Jesus—had courage and determination, along with sensitivity and love for others.”

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do

BORING

HOW TO

go grocery shopping with a baby

U

s dads have a wide range of jobs/hobbies/things to do. Something like sorting out your toolbox or cleaning out the gutter might seem boring to you, but to your kid it’s an awesome adventure. Like that Dora cartoon charac-ter. She always seems to be just hiking around—boring to us grown-ups, but kids eat that stuff up.

If you’re one of those clever dads, you can keep the kid entertained while they actually complete the task for you. Winwin. Unless they’re still at that “I want to eat all of Dad’s tools and the leaves out of the gutter” age.

That may sound like an exaggeration, but it’s not.

Your baby, like all babies, will go through the “I’m gonna eat everything you look at” phase.

That’s the phase where you walk around your home not making eye contact with anything valuable out of the fear that, if you do, your kid will lick it, dribble on it, chew on it or swallow it.

Anyway, back to being boring.

I had to sweep out our garage a few weeks back and keep my four-year-old happy at the same time. Quick 20-second lesson on legendary dad-sweeping technique and BAM! She swept the whole garage in under a minute.

I gave her a high-five as she left, checked she had gone, then grabbed the broom and fixed up the utterly terrible sweeping job she had done.

What is she? Four? Hey, she had a blast. A blast being boring.

EXTRACTED, WITH PERMISSION, FROM HOW TO DAD: VOLUME 2, BY JORDAN WATSON (ALLEN & UNWIN, 2017).

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COOKING with Gia & Olive VEGAN NACHO “CHEESE” SAUCE PREPARATION TIME: 5 MINUTES COOKING TIME: 0 MINUTES SERVES: 2 INGREDIENTS

HANDMADE PICTURES, OONAL, ALLEKO—ISTOCK, NICK LINDSAY

½ cup cashews (soaked) 2 tbsp nutritional yeast flakes 1 tsp onion powder 1 tsp garlic powder 1 tsp smoked paprika 2 roast capsicums (from a jar) Pinch of salt ½ tsp lemon juice 1 cup water

30

METHOD Blend all ingredients until smooth.

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SUSHI BALLS PREPARATION TIME: 5 MINUTES COOKING TIME: 30 MINUTES SERVES: 12–15 BALLS

BLACK BEAN PUDDING PREPARATION TIME: 5 MINUTES COOKING TIME: 0 MINUTES SERVES: 4

INGREDIENTS 1 cup sushi rice 1 tbsp maple syrup 2 tbsp rice vinegar 1 sheet nori 2 avocados, made into balls using a melon baller

INGREDIENTS 1 can black beans ½ cup maple syrup ¼ cup cocoa powder ¼ teaspoon salt ¼ teaspoon vanilla extract Mint to garnish

METHOD 1. Cook sushi rice according to instructions on the packet.

2. When rice is cooked, mix through with maple syrup and rice vinegar. Allow to cool.

3. Cut sheet of nori into small pieces and mix through cooled rice.

4. Wet hands and flatten a small amount of rice in your palm. Place a ball of avocado in the middle and then wrap the rice around it, adding more rice if necessary.

METHOD 1. Blend all ingredients together until smooth.

2. Garnish with mint.

FANCY HUMMUS PREPARATION TIME: 5 MINUTES COOKING TIME: 0 MINUTES SERVES: 2 INGREDIENTS ½ cup fresh or sundried tomatoes ½ cup olives ½ cup of hummus METHOD Cut tomatoes and olives into small pieces and mix through hummus.

GIA & OLIVE The world's cutest sous-chef and her talented mother show us how easy it is to be healthy. Watch how quickly Gia and Olive can make these recipes on the At The Table TV show.

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HIGH SCHOOL

PRIMARY

INFANT

BOOK CORNER

32

BERTHA AND BEAR

FEATHERS

Christine Sharp University of Queensland Press $24.95

Great fun to read aloud to your child. A cute little (in number of pages, not size) picture book with bright and colourful illustrations. A nice tale about courage and symbiosis in nature. Bertha and Bear is a neat way to teach your children about the wondrous nature of bees.

PIP AND HOUDINI

WIN

J C Jones Allen & Unwin $14.99

A 10-year-old runaway, a missing mother and a scruffy but loyal dog. Pip and Houdini is the sequel to the award-winning Run, Pip, Run, but reads just as well as a standalone novel. Full of adventure and mishaps, but also filled with integrity and kindness. A story about making things right and about families who love unconditionally.

DRAWN ONWARD Meg McKinlay & Andrew Frazer Fremantle Press $24.99

A clever little book with beautiful illustrations. Only 32 pages, the storyline is simple, but the message is important and cannily delivered. The text is a palindrome that illustrates how the very same situation can be viewed quite differently depending on your perspective.

If anything, the reader will be impressed by the book’s artistic and creative value.

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September 2017

WIN

Phil Cummings & Phil Lesnie Scholastic $24.99

A delicate way to show children the blessings they have of living in the relative peace of a developed country. Feathers illustrates the journey of a sandpiper through earthquake- and flood-ravaged lands, war-torn countries and safe havens, and reveals the resilience of the human spirit. Feathers delivers an important message of compassion, but be prepared to spend time talking to your children about the concepts explored.

MARSH AND ME

A THOUSAND HUGS FROM DADDY Anna Pignataro Scholastic $16.99

Filled with cute illustrations, warm fuzzies and cuddles, it’s a wonderful way to encourage hugs and affection. A great bedtime book that promotes the comfort and safety of a loving family.

PRIMARY

WIN

Martine Murray The Text Publishing Company $14.99

DA Y

REENA’S RAINBOW Dee White & Tracie Grimwood EK Books $19.99 Delightfully illustrated in vibrant colours, Reena’s Rainbow introduces young children to the world of hearing disabilities through its protagonist. It teaches children to understand and embrace our differences, and celebrates individual strengths.

BOOK o

f th e

THE ELEPHANT

Peter Carnavas University of Queensland Press $14.95 Bittersweet and beautiful, a novel that will stay with you for a long time. The Elephant is about dealing with grief and sadness, and how kindness, love and optimism can help turn that around.

Written with a child’s indomitable determination to cheer up her father, it deals with difficult topics such as death, but shows you how relationships and hope can lift you out of your deep sadness.

SWIMMING ON THE LAWN

A simple story about growing up in 1960s Sudan. Sudanese traditions are brought to life, together with commemoration of Muslim holidays, the rites of birth and death. The snapshots of life in the capital and rural villages are a great way to learn about life in a different time, culture and even religion, but the novel does end in a confronting manner due to the sudden military coup.

FOR

mont h

Fun and funny, littered with whimsy and some poignant moments. Marsh and Me is a heartwarming story about feeling not quite good enough, making new friends and discovering our talents.

A sensitive exploration of the migrant experience.

Yasmin Hamid Fremantle Press $16.99

PERFECT

FATHER'S

WIN

WIN

​

FROM THE AUTHOR:

I never set out to give my readers a message or a lesson, but people will always draw messages out of a book like this. If anything, I'd love readers to appreciate the small moments of joy that can be found in ordinary things, old and wonderful things. These are the things—and the sharing of such things— that ultimately cheer up the characters in the book. There is sadness in the story, but for me, it's really a story about hope, and looking for the cracks of light in life.

WIN THESE BOOKS! FIND OUT HOW ON PAGE 21 September 2017

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LIVE YOUR

father's day

BEST LIFE

SHOUTOUTS

13

SECRETS TO A

HEALTHIER YOU

Dad, thank you for being the most practical, helpful, hardworking and adventurous person I know! You filled my childhood with happy memories and you've been an amazing role model to me. If I can still hike up mountains on camps like you do when I am 75, I'll be ecstatic! Love you, Dad, Maryellen.

From the latest superfoods to the perfect workout, juice cleanses to gym classes - everyone has an opinion.

Being healthy doesn’t have to be so hard. In this free series on health, you’ll receive expert advice to give you an overview of the essentials of good health.

Get practical tips to help you feel good right now and set up positive habits your future self will thank you for!

You are a grounding force for the girls and for me, Chris. Our home feels ready to play or rest when you are there, and quite frankly we just love you!! xxx Rachel H

Gary, you’ve always gone above and beyond to support the boys and me, by being there for the important times in our life. God couldn’t have picked a better (or funnier!) man for the job. You’re amazing and I love you heaps, Shona.

FINISHED WITH THIS MAGAZINE? PASS IT ON TO YOUR FRIENDS!

Visit hopeoffer.com/health to begin this free series online, or return this form by mail to receive your first booklet.

QUESTIONS? LETS CHAT!

SUPPLIED

Daniel, I cannot even begin to express just what a great father you are to Elliott. Your gentle tenderness towards him, your patience in teaching him, the playful fun times you enjoy with him, giving him the freedom to chase seagulls and dig in the dirt, sacrificing your career to ensure he receives the best care, all the while still finding the time to spoil me and be my rock and my sounding board . . . I know Elliott will grow to become a good man because of who you are to him, Melody.

Happy Father's Day to my partner in life and the daddy of my babies, Brendan Tiatia. So proud of the man you have become, I'm truly thankful and appreciative for all you do for our family.

And from our girls: Faitoai: "You make the best fluffy pancakes!"

Elleura: "Jesus loves you Daddy!"

Eden: "Dadda!"

We are definitely blessed with the best. Love and blessings from your Tiatia girls, Fiona.

NAME : ADDRESS :

PHONE : EMAIL :

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Dear Pete, I love the moments when you are in awe of Jax, when you pause and stand in amazement of who he is, when you declare, "You are such a gorgeous boy, I love you so much." I love watching your interactions, how you make Jax squeal with glee and knowing that you were the one who made him laugh, Rachel L A.

LIVING WELL

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